


Blood of Salvation

by Boogermeister



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Blood, Blood Drinking, Blood and Gore, Bloodlust, Character Turned Into Vampire, Childhood Trauma, Class Issues, Comfort Sex, Drama, Dubious Consent, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Family Drama, Flashbacks, Horror, Human Castiel, Human/Vampire Relationship, Kidnapping, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mental Instability, Past Child Abuse, Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Priest Castiel, Religious Conflict, Romantic Angst, Sam Winchester and Mental Health Issues, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicidal Thoughts, Vampire Castiel, Vampire Dean Winchester, Vampire Sam Winchester, Vampire Sex, Vampire Turning, Vampires, Virgin Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 20:36:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 257,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1661618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boogermeister/pseuds/Boogermeister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel finds himself being a 'pet' after being kidnapped by a monster he thought to be fabled. As a devout priest, he prays for escape but soon realizes that his feelings for his captor is changing either for the better or the worse as the days go by, as he learned more about the vampire brothers' past turmoil. Vamp!Dean Priest!Cas Dub-Con</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Innocent Taste

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, I'm doing another story! Releasing it on the day of the Season 9 Finale! Every ending gots a beginning! Hope you enjoy it!

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 1- Innocent Taste**

Why.... did this happen? How can this happen....? Why did his god let it happen... to him....? He could barely breathe, with the tensed squeezing around his neck, as widened bold blue eyes fearfully stared at his attacker who was pinning him down. They were all alone, right in front of the altar in the church. He knew who he was.... he was trying to help him not too long ago, not even twenty-four had passed. He was afraid, not because that he might be robbed by this person....

It was because his attacker's facial appearance was inhuman, almost feral.... like a demon.....

"You smell so lovely, Mister Priest.... I shouldn't be that surprised that your blood would smell so pure...." The attacker's voice was dark, husky yet rough around the edge. It didn't sound like that when they first met, and that terrified the victim. He was too paralyzed to struggle from his hold, it was as he was bewitched by the intense green eyes of his attacker.

"Wh-what.... are you...?" he managed to gasp out, earning a brief chuckle out of him.

"You don't realize it yet....? I only came back here to thank you for helping me the other day...." he purred deeply, leaning down to him. The victim gasped shakily, seeing that the bright eyes were glowing.

"D-demon....!"

"Demon? That hurts my feelings, you know...." rumbled the attacker with a slight smirk. "I'm far better than that, Padre...." With that, his already sharp teeth became even more sharper and lengthened with a soft growl. His victim shuddered in great shock. The narrowed green eyes glowed brighter, enhanced with flecks of gold around the pupils, before the 'demon' smirked again.

"P-please.... don't harm me...." he pleaded weakly. "God have mercy--"

"I could care less about your god, especially since he's simply letting this happen," he growled. "He cannot protect you, he cannot save you.... Right now, you're mine...." The priest whimpered weakly. He will die here, no one would know what had happened to him. "You're thinking that I might kill you but I won't, Padre...."

"Wh-what....?"

"Better yet.... I will keep you as a personal pet. Or maybe as a blood bank, but I prefer the first one. It'd be a shame if I didn't hit it first beforehand." Through his rumbling, the priest caught some of his words and stiffened.

Blood bank....? As in.... "You're.... you're a vampire....?" he wheezed out in utter shock and his attacker grinned, leaning down to his terrified face. "Bingo. There's no other demons like me, Mister Priest...."

_The night before...._

".... This is the third time this week, Dean, this is getting annoying." Lounging on the lumpy black couch, a young man merely rolled his light green eyes as he chugged dark whiskey straight from the bottle. He appeared very handsome to the eye, with a perfectly straight nose to his smirking lips. His golden-bronze hair were styled similar to a crew cut, as he scratched through it with annoyance. "I'm serious, Dean--"

"I heard you the first time.... but it's not like they would find out that it's me," he scoffed, vaguely paying attention to the television in front of him.

"You've been going to the same bar to pick up girls, and all three of them had ended up missing....!"

"Missing, but not dead," he pointed out, hearing an exasperated groan behind him. "Come on, Sammy--"

"Don't 'Sammy' me, Dean.... the others in this area will figure out that you're being reckless, as usual, and then the hunters will sniff that out. Do you want that to happen?" Dean didn't reply, instead he took a deep gulp of whiskey.

It was annoying to be lectured by his younger brother, even more so that he was supposed to be the representative of the vampire-controlled areas of the state of Montana. Not to mention that they had to be obscured from the human population, considering that they were preternaturally different from them. With a deep sigh, Dean got up from the couch to face his brother. "Sam, it's part of our thing-- drinking human blood, bossing other vamps around. That's the point of our bloodline, right?"

His younger brother merely frowned at him, his hazel-green eyes glancing down at him since he was taller by a few inches. They looked particularly different from one another beside the height; Sam's hair was a deep chestnut color that it was close to shoulder-length. He was more fair-skinned than Dean but lacked a dust of freckles like on his brother's face. The only similarity they got was the sharp nose but Dean often joked that it looked too pointy.

"You know.... you've only been in power for a little over two years, but you can't act like a petty little king who can't get his way," frowned Sam. "The other purebloods act more discreet of getting their blood, through donors or privately owned blood banks. You go to another direction and snack on the innocent bystanders like they're vending machines."

"Trust me, a lot of those girls at the bar are not that innocent," shrugged Dean and his younger brother huffed at his disregarding attitude. "Look.... they're only missing, right? It means that I simply placed them somewhere else after I finished eating, miles away from the nearest towns. Safe but a little disoriented, but I didn't kill them."

"They could still die from the cold or other animal attacks....! Again, this is getting ridiculous, Dean," Sam implored. "Just calm down, okay? When we go out tonight, just be more careful...."

"Sammy, you're such a worry-wort," sighed Dean, taking a few more swigs of booze as he patted him on the shoulder. "I've always been careful. I covered my tracks, I warped up their minds, simple as that. I'm sorry that it's not as fun as going into the woods and suck Bambi's mother dry," he pointed that out to see Sam's annoyed expression.

"It's better than being caught by the hunters," muttered Sam. Finishing the bottle, the older brother merely shrugged as he picked up his leather jacket from the couch.

"Whatever, man.... Let's go, the sun's set a while ago," he nodded. "Maybe this time you can baby-sit me as I go bar-hopping on humans."

"You really want me to go with you, Dean?"

"I need a designated driver, you forgot that the town's five miles away," he shrugged.

"That's a lie, it'd take over a dozen bottles of that whiskey before you can get buzzed," grumbled Sam. But he complied and put on his own jacket, as they left their home. It was a cabin, surrounded by trees in the forest, completely obscure that not even human could find it by accident. There was only a small dirt road out of their shelter only they can notice by their sharp eyes. "Do you really wanna take the car, or can we just walk to town?" Sam asked.

"Um, we should forgo the car since you're very paranoid of being seen," joked Dean as he smirked at him. "Five miles, that's a cake walk anyway." The older brother walked ahead, or rather ran off in a blur in a blink of the eye. He crossed the ground very swiftly, jumping over fallen trees and boulders with such ease. He briefly glanced over his shoulder, but already his younger brother was keeping up. Dean was having more fun with the run though Sam was more composed, not breaking a sweat as his eyes caught a small prey darting past him.

"Huh? Sammy....?" Dean stumbled into a complete stop and looked to see that he was gone from his sight. But his ears caught the sound of rustling from the large bushes. He sighed and waited, knowing that his sibling had caught a snack. A few seconds later, Sam stepped out of the bushes, sucking on the limp body of a rabbit. His eyes glowed intensely as he let go of the small animal. Licking the blood off his lips, his sharp teeth retracted and let out a deep sigh.

"Are you done, or do we have to stop every time you eat a woodland creature like a Snickers bar?" questioned Dean.

"Can't I have my own fun, like you say?" Sam shrugged. Not a drop of blood was on him as he tossed the small body aside. "I need to feel at least half-full before letting the hunger get at me."

"I get it.... I swear, you're wasting the privilege of being a pureblood," he sighed deeply. Sam ignored him as he jogged off and Dean followed after him. It wasn't like he enjoyed making fun of his brother's 'vegetarian' lifestyle; Sam could consume human blood if he wanted and it would usually be the 'bad' humans. The ones who were usually criminals, Dean noted, but found it tedious to prey for one when he tried it with him one night.

It only took them about ten to fifteen minutes to reach the town of Whitefish, Sam drank the blood of another small animal beforehand but otherwise the two brothers strolled into town without suspicion. It was a nice mountain community and they fit in just fine with their outfits consisted of flannel shirts and worn-out jeans. But Dean glanced around, sniffing the clear cold air for his own prey.

".... Going to the bar again?" asked Sam.

"Maybe," he muttered.

"You think they'll recognize you?"

"I haven't been in this town for the past couple of weeks, so I doubt it," Dean shrugged. "I promise not to make a mess of myself, okay, I won't go around ripping their throats out."

"Good to know," his brother sighed with a light smile

"Sammy, don't worry about me.... I'm always careful," he grinned. "If you want, I can share my food with you."

"Yeah, that sounds arousing-- two men sucking on a drunk girl in a dingy public bathroom," Sam shrugged. But Dean chuckled as they found the bar, with the elder brother going in first. It would be too obvious for Sam to follow right after him as he decided to pace around the establishment.

"Hahh...." Dean's sharp green eyes took in the sight of the crowded place. It was fairly easy to pick the visiting tourist apart from the locals, it was just as easy to lure one, as he casually looked around. He didn't mind which kind of human to choose; he often saw male and female equally, as food and bedmates.

This time, he chose a guy, a backpacker who was simply going around the country. It was obvious that he was drinking alone in the far corner of counter. But Dean, putting on a charming smirk, could tell another reason why he was alone by the scent on him. ".... New in town, huh?" he chatted as he walked up to the tourist.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess," nodded the guy.

"Do you mind if I sit here? It's pretty cramped in this dive," he smirked, sitting on a stool next to him. The tourist smiled lightly, possibly out of politeness, but he didn't seem to wish to strike up a conversation as he nursed his beer. "No need to be shy, I just thought you wanna have a chat. You know, seeing that you're traveling around like Anthony Boudain."

He saw the young man smiling at that and grinned himself, this would be easier than he thought. It only took several minutes, buying his prey beer and conversing over trivial matters. Dean came off as friendly but knew that the poor man was falling under the spell of his alluring eyes. Of course he would hypnotize him, it was the only way he can get his prey to be placid and trusting. Not only that.... he could smell that the man was interested in him, and he liked that.

"So.... you know what I'm thinking about, right?" he muttered. "A guy like you would never thought to find a guy like me...."

"Uh, yeah.... you're a very handsome guy, I'll give you that much," nodded the man, who was slightly drunk after a few more bottles of beer.

"Oh, that's nice of you to say that.... How about this, why don't we finish this conversation back at your hotel room? I find you very interesting," Dean suggested, staring straight into his eyes. That did the work, the unsuspecting man seemed to sway in his movement before Dean caught him. "Woah there....!" he chuckled. "Let's get you some fresh air, huh....?"

Nobody paid attention of him dragging the half-limp man out of the bar, as Dean suppressed a deep growl. Not many people were out, meaning there would be less witnesses as he then walked around the establishment. Behind the building was a dead-end alley, where Sam was patiently waiting while drinking beer.

"Hmm.... it's a guy this time, Dean?" he muttered.

"Pretty much," grinned Dean. He pinned the inebriated man against the brick wall, inhaling the scent coming from the bare neck. Only he felt aroused by male and female alike if they catch his eye, where his brother was merely neutral on picking out his food. "Oh, fuck.... I didn't think you would be this easy to lure," he murmured, as his eyes glowed. Holding out his hand, he sharply nipped into his thumb, letting out a bit of blood.

"You're compelling him now?" asked Sam.

"This is easier...." He pressed the wound into the man's mouth. Almost instantly, the gaze in his victim's eyes went blank. Dean chuckled softly before holding the man's head back. "Great...." Without hesitating, his teeth contorted into sharp incisors, before clamping into the soft skin. The gratifying taste of blood hit his tongue before Dean took a slow long gulp.

He heard a growl behind him, knowing that Sam could smell the blood but held back his urges. Even as a pureblood, he was second to Dean and couldn't participate unless given permission by his brother. The victim moaned lightly in pain but stayed in place under Dean's hold as the vampire rumbled in delight with a few more gulps.

"Hahh...." Letting go of his neck, he lapped over the wound before his glowing green-gold eyes turned to Sam. "What're you standing there for? You know I like sharing with you, Sammy...." he breathed heavily.

"You got your spit all over it...." frowned Sam.

"Then make a bite for yourself," he muttered. "Come on, this one's still warm." Rolling his glowing eyes, Sam walked up to them, his teeth lengthened and sharpened when he pulled aside the victim's jacket collar. Unlike Dean's bite, he was more careful when he nipped into the skin. The blood of animal had suppressed his hunger so he only slurped up the blood from the smaller wound. Flushed from his own feeding, Dean sighed deeply before taking the man's lips for a sloppy blood-smeared kiss.

"You're making a mess on him," growled Sam after he was done.

"I just wanna taste him...." chuckled Dean as he kissed the compelled man again.

"You're weird, you know I don't really swing that way," he frowned. "If you get a boner over this, I'll punch you in the nose." Dean chuckled again, he was aroused but in more ways than one as he licked the blood around the lips. His loins really were stirring, making his jeans tight, but this was a time for feeding. The one-night stand can wait tomorrow.

"Heh.... Should we start finding a second course of the meal?" he smirked, earning a bothersome sigh.

"I'll pass.... We need some supplies for the house anyway," muttered Sam. "Let me know when you need to bury the body or something," he added with a light scoff.

"Yeah, yeah...." The man was still out of it when Dean lifted him over his shoulder. He will live from the slight bloodloss, but the vampire already decided to go out of the town as he brisked past his little brother with a blur. Within a few minutes, Dean was in the sloping part of the woods, barely a mile from town. He was only giving his prey a break since he was a tourist, but he shrugged it off as he dropped the man onto the damp ground.

He didn't feel like going back to Whitefish, the town was too small to keep going back and forth for food when the locals could easily identify him. Instead, he turned on his heels and dashed to another direction. Kalispell was fifteen miles away, but that distance was nothing on Dean. He could go halfway across the state before catching a break if he was full with blood. He ran down a rocky slope before landed nimbly onto the side of the main road close to the fairly larger town.

He knew that the vampire communities are broken down into small factions in major towns and cities, managing businesses and even government jobs alongside humans. In Kalispell, there was one faction that resided in blue-collar jobs although plenty of them lived like gangs that would often hassle the locals but not enough to raise alarm to Dean. They knew better than to leave bodies without him knowing, as he was a pureblood and he wouldn't exactly tolerate it.

The other vampires were a different class from him, as they were considered 'mixed'-- descendants of vampires who were turned humans coupling with the rare purebloods centuries ago. The human traits within them made them unable to hypnotize their preys properly, these days they had to do the old-fashioned way of flirting with their food.

As Dean wandered into town, a sharp scent of blood was fresh in the air. But it wasn't the blood of a human-- it seemed that his bethrens were fighting again, and that annoyed him, as he let out a deep huff. "Damn it...." Within seconds, he ran around the outskirt of town. There was one bar catered to their kind only, but it was also owned by a biker gang. He found those sort annoying, but only knew one member that he could trust fully.

It was eerily quiet when he reached the establishment called the Pentagram. Motorcycles and bikes were parked outside but Dean, smelling that the scent was a lot stronger here, frowned before walking right in. Almost instantly, the vampire patrons turned their eyes on them, they were filled with apprehension and wariness at the sight of their leader.

"Dean...." Dean's green eyes turned to a young petite brunette who was wearing a full-on biker gear.

"Tessa.... what's going on here?" he frowned. But he didn't need to look around, not when he already noticed one guy slumped over on one of the pool tables. He could see that he was hurt with a bloody wound on his left shoulder. "It was another bar fight, huh?"

"I wish that it was, Dean...." sighed Tessa with a frown. He glanced at her and his eyes nearly glowed at the meaning of it.

".... When and where did this happen?" he muttered as he strolled up to the pool table. The others saved for Tessa backed away when he looked at the man's condition and frowned at what he saw. "A bullet wound....?"

"It's more than that.... it's silver."

Dean snorted in disbelief, but his reaction was annoyance rather than anger. This one was probably careless and that was the cause of his end. "What the fuck was this idiot doing anyway?"

"Two counties over, he was seen by a hunter before he and couple other guys could go out to feed," Tessa replied. "Well.... he was foolish enough to attack instead of fleeing, from what they told me."

".... Were they followed?" questioned Dean.

"I don't really know...." That made the pureblood huff in annoyance. Plenty of these vampires were older than him yet they kept making dumb mistakes as if recently turned. "It was two counties to the south, though, I highly doubt that the hunter can find us through the mountains and the woods so easily."

"Still, they fucked it up.... Take the body somewhere and burn it, I don't care if they feel offended by it," he frowned as he turned to leave. The biker vamps grumbled by his notions but said nothing against it. Tess, however, followed him out but Dean turned to her with a raised eyebrow. "What? I said the right thing; burn the body when a hunter kills one of us," he frowned at her.

"I'm not saying that you're wrong, Dean...." sighed Tessa, shaking her head. "But what're you going to do about this? There's a good chance that a hunter might find us in this town."

"Even if they do, they can't exactly have no reason to harm us," huffed Dean. "Even they know better than to create a riot if the humans knew that we existed. Maybe if those asshole acted more careful, then I wouldn't have to have them cremate their friend."

"That's the pot calling the kettle black, wouldn't you say?" she questioned him, but Dean cracked a smirk at that.

"I don't kill my prey, but you have to admit that it's kinda fun to see those hunters trying to figure out why the victims can't remember the attack," he shrugged, yawning with his unnaturally sharp teeth out.

"They would know that it was a pureblood that's doing this."

"But they don't know who...." he nodded. "Speaking of which, that's what I came here for. Grab me a girl for a drink, no pun intended...."

"Right.... Just be careful, O Gracious Leader, us subjects will stand by you whenever you're in trouble," Tessa scoffed but Dean chuckled with a roll of his eyes.

"Nice jab...." he smirked, before running off. He darted past back alleys and shops, the humans that were walking about didn't seem to notice the blur. He only needed to find one more for the night before going home. One or two people was often sufficient depending on his hunger as he finally stopped. This neighborhood was practically isolated despite being a residential area. But it was perfect to find his prey even if he had to wait for a while.

Hiding in the alley behind an apartment building, his mind wandered to that scene in the bar. There was no way that a hunter would have found a vampire so easily in this part. Even among the humans, it would be hard to pinpoint their kind within the crowd. The only thing that set them apart was the subtle glow of their eyes that could be seen in the darkness. Dean couldn't help that his own were doing it at the moment, catching a sight of a woman brisking down the block. She seemed to be in a hurry to get home, and he smirked at that.

"Perfect...." he muttered as he stepped out and silently followed after her. Like a skittish deer, she seemed have sensed him as she slightly glanced over her shoulder. But Dean was being casually, head down with his hands in his pockets as if he was disinterested. Yet, she kept her pace as she reached her apartment building. She took out her keys and attempted to unlock the front door, but not before Dean was suddenly right behind her.

"Excuse me, Miss...." he muttered, and the woman flinched from his presence.

"Goodness!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you...." Dean smirked lightly. "It's just that I promised to meet up with my little brother in his place. But I forgot my spare key." When he looked up, his bewitching eyes made contact with woman's own. Her tensed stance instantly went lax before he stepped up to her. "Do you mind if I stepped right in to see if he's home....?" he murmured huskily, not breaking contact as he grasped at her arms.

His prey gasped softly, her hand dropping the keys, but she didn't notice when Dean slowly led her away from the building. "Or better yet.... I could take you out for a drink. The night's still young after all...."

"I.... I need to get home...." she muttered.

"And you will.... as soon as I get to know you better, sweetheart...." grinned Dean, leading her to the dark alley. "There's need to be afraid of me...." His eyes glowed even more as he then held her against the wall. The pinprick wound on his thumb had long since healed but he nipped into it once again. "When we're done, you won't even know that it was me.... Just another animal attack as usual...." he purred.

_Clank!_

Every muscles in Dean's body tensed suddenly and his eyes widened. He knew of that sound so easily, but groaned in disbelief as he glared over his shoulder. To the normal eyes, one could only see the silhouette of the new stranger but Dean saw who it was. ".... Didn't expect a hunter to catch me off-guard," he scoffed softly.

He wasn't afraid of the gun being pointed at him as he took a better look at the hunter. An African-American man closed to middle-aged, dressed like a trucker to avoid being singled out within the human population. An usual strategy for the hunters though Dean found it annoying when he gave off a long exhale. "Do you got a name, or should I deal with the usual silent-type....?" he growled.

".... Do you mind letting go of the woman, vampire?" scoffed the hunter.

"Well, I certainly do mind, this is my dinner after all," Dean growled, his sharp teeth threatened to extend. "Just give me a couple of minutes then I'll be on my way."

"I don't think that's a good idea...." he retorted. "Either you let her go or I'll blast your head off, monster." At the threat, Dean blinked before letting out a small chuckle.

"You might wanna get a second opinion on that, guy," he sneered. "You do realize that you're threatening a pureblood, right?"

"I know, I can tell by the blood on your thumb."

"And you still wanna kill me....? Wow, you must be the dumbest hunter I've come across," he scoffed. "You and I both know of the consequences should a pureblood gets killed by the likes of you."

"Why should it matter? They are all the same anyway," frowned the hunter. "Especially you.... who knows if that woman you're holding will die by your feeding." Dean smirked before glancing back at the woman, who was still hypnotized by the eye contact.

"That's impossible, dumbass, a pint or two's enough for me," he clicked his tongue. "But stopping me is pointless, by giving you this woman I can simply find another one. So may I suggest that you walk away and nobody gets hurt...."

"I don't think I like that suggestion, monster...." With that, he aimed the gun right at the vampire's head. The smirk instantly vanished on Dean's face, before growling lowly. He could easily flee or overpower him, wondering if he should take Sam's advice and do the former. But being a highly ranked vampire, he had too much pride to do so, as he let go of the woman.

"Take her, you can have her...." he growled. "But.... you cannot stop me from ripping off your arm." All of the sudden, he pushed his supposed prey toward the hunter, catching him by surprise.

"Ugh....!" The hunter stumbled back by the force. He didn't have a chance to look up to see Dean disappearing out of sight. But just as fast, Dean reappeared behind him, his fingernails sharpened into claws as he grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Fucker....!" he snarled, slamming him into the brick wall. The woman that fell from Dean's push, blinked into consciousness before looking around in confusion.

"What.... where....?" she mumbled before she looked and saw the two men, with Dean's true form showing right in front of her fangs and all. "Ah.... Ahh! S-someone, help me....!" she shrieked in horror, as she staggered to her feet and ran off. Dean's prey running away was the least of his problems, as he tried not to use all his strength to pin his opponent down.

"Y-you beast....!" gritted the hunter. He attempted to move his hand but the pureblood grabbed his wrist and twisted it, knocking the gun right out of his hand. "Argh....!"

"I warned you.... You should've let me be, hunter," he growled, the golden rims in his glowing eyes enhanced. It was easier to scare the now disarmed hunter, rather than the need to kill him. With a snarl, he tossed him into the abandoned pile of trash cans with a crash. Dean kicked the gun away before stalking up to him. "I didn't even throw you that hard...." he scoffed. "I would decide to take your blood, but I'm a very picky person. Yours probably tastes like shit...."

The hunter groaned and coughed when he attempted to get up but he was still slumped over the garbage. Dean smirked a little, he had never confronted a hunter like this before, usually he would be gone just after feeding on his victims. Still, this one didn't hesitate with his threats, not even the most advanced hunters would dare to mess with the purebloods.

"Well.... thanks to you, I need to find another meal," he smirked. "By the time you'll wake up, I'll be long gone, buddy. I doubt you can find a pureblood like me so easily."

"Don't.... act so cocky, demon....!" the hunter gritted.

"Hm...?" Dean stepped closer, just before he caught a glint in his opponent's hand. A second later, he realized what it was with his eyes widened in surprise. But the was much too late. "A-ahh....!" he hissed out in sudden pain, feeling a gush of his own blood from his right leg. He stumbled back, glaring at the hunter who was getting to his feet.

He was holding a dagger but it wasn't an ordinary weapon, judging by the searing pain Dean was feeling on his wound. "You sly fucker.... I didn't think you would have another weapon on you....!" he snarled lowly.

"One of the aspects of being a hunter," panted the man. Dean bared his pointed fangs, but staggered back. No doubt that his subordinates would smell the scent of their leader's blood. He doesn't wish to cause a slaughter between the enemies if this one were to be killed and the other hunters finds out.

"Tch, you just had to jinx me, Sammy...." he muttered under his breath as he glared at him. "You got lucky, asshole.... but if I find you again, I won't hesitate to maul you...." He took another step back before dashing out of sight. He hissed with each quick steps, the burning effect of silver was getting to him as blood soaked over his pants leg.

"Dean....!" The pureblood was back to the bar at the edge of town. Almost instantly, Tessa was by his side as the biker vampires rushed out to see him panting heavily. "Holy hell, Dean, what happened....?!" Tessa questioned in disbelief.

"Oh, nothing.... I just had a run-in with a crazy hunter a second ago," gritted Dean.

"Are you serious-- Damn it, I knew that this would happen...!" scoffed Tessa while the other vampire clamored in surprise.

"What does this mean?"

"This hunter just hurt our leader....!"

"We should kill this bastard--"

"No! Nobody kills anybody....!" growled Dean and the lesser vampires quickly silenced themselves. "This is my mistake and mine alone.... but don't go reckless like a fucking bunch of headless chickens! Do not pursue this hunter, or you'll be asking for it, got it....?"

"Damn it, Dean...." Tessa scoffed softly, her honey-brown eyes narrowed in disbelief.

"And you... don't tell Sam about this," he hissed at her. "No doubt he'll bash me up for fucking around."

"But you would have to go home sooner of later...."

"Not unless I heal myself up first," growled Dean. But it was easier said than done, wounds caused by silver take a lot longer to heal even after consuming blood. ".... If Sam calls for me, tell him that I'm hunting to the east. I'm sure he won't worry too much."

"Fine, just be careful, idiot...." Tessa frowned. Dean barely nodded, before rushing out of town in a blur. He wasn't sure where to go in the eastern counties but he should manage to get to the nearest town he finds. As long as Sam doesn't find out about his fumble against a hunter.

His younger brother constantly worried about his behaviors despite of being a leader of this state. If anything, Sam would constantly be on his tail if given a chance. "Shit...!" he hissed as he stumbled to a stop, leaning against a large tree. The pain was terrible, it seemed that the wound was deeper than he thought. He now needed to drink some blood immediately before he could go farther. Slumped, he listened for any creature close enough for him to catch. It was a chilly damp night, typical of the late winter season, no doubt plenty of small animals were hibernating.

"Damn.... Damn it," he panted. From a corner of his eyes, he could see a little brown rabbit sniffing nearby. It didn't even have a chance to notice Dean, before it was suddenly snatched up by the ears. A short shriek was emitted but it was quickly silenced once the sharp fangs shredded into its throat. "Hmm...." Dean sighed at the thick sweet taste of blood.

But it wasn't enough, he drained the animal as quickly as he bit it. Licking his stained lips, he dropped the carcass before deciding to rush for the nearest town. Or any town for that matter, before he collapsed from the pain....

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Reading through the financial files under a single lamp, a young man sighed tiredly as he rubbed his eyes. Though the funding for his church wasn't in the red, he was pretty close to it with the donation from his patrons were barely scrapping by. But that was what he gets for choosing the life of priesthood almost five years ago. Scratching through his messed up black-brown hair for the umpteenth time, he looked up to see the wall clock perched to the right.

"Eleven-thirty....?" he muttered quietly. He had been here for too long, he realized as he stored the files away. Slowly, he got up, joints cracked from being too stiff for long, before walking around his desk. On the little tag sign, it read, _'Father Castiel Novak'_ , that was his name.

Despite being young, he wore a full Catholic garment of a jet-black cossack and slacks, with a white collar snugly wrapped around his neck. Also around his neck was a simple gold cross, the only jewelry he owned as he fiddled with it. He tried to figure out what to plan for the coming weekend, even though it would be the usual sermon. But he could think about it later, as he unbuttoned the cossack and hung it on the coat rack in exchange for his warm beige overcoat.

If Castiel had left earlier, he could have went home without the need of a scarf. But the temperature dropped by at least ten degrees plus the winding was kicking up, judging by the bare branches creaking outside. He left his office, then walked down a small hallway to the side door. "Oh, I forgot...." he mumbled, doubling back to enable the alarm system. He rushed out the side door afterwards and locked it, shivering when a strong breeze hit him.

In this small city of Great Falls, everything was virtually quiet. There was no reason for the priest to feel worry of being seen walking late at night as he glanced around. Because this was an old church, the small graveyard behind it seemed unsettling in the dark. Not that he was afraid, of course, instead he found it hauntingly interesting. If it had snowed, it would look beautiful, that was his opinion.

As he wrapped the coat around himself, Castiel sighed deeply as he walked around the historical structure for the front gate. It was padlocked as he reached for the keys in his pocket, just as he heard soft thud behind him.

"Ughhh...."

Castiel paused in his action in an instant, wondering what he had just heard. For a second, he thought it was tree branch that had fallen but then again he would have heard a snap beforehand. Bold blue eye glinted under the dull street light as he glanced over his shoulder. The sound came from the small graveyard, where he now assumed that an old tombstone was tipping over. But unexpectedly, it wasn't, as he heard a painful groan that was definitely human.

"Huh....?" He squinted his eyes as his expression scrunched into confusion. There was no way that anyone other than him could be on this property. Even with the alarm on, the church had nothing truly valuable saved for priceless bibles and crucifixes that had been around for decades, so there was no way that a thief would bother to break in. Still, it was best to see for himself, patting the pocket of his slacks to make sure his phone is on hand just in case.

He carefully walked back around, the only light available dimmed away as he reached the small plot. "He... Hello....?" he called out tentatively. "Is someone here....?" He heard the groan again and his head whipped to the left, but the groan didn't exactly sound human this time. It sounded like.... a wounded wolf or some other animal. Still confused, Castiel took out his phone and clicked it into flashlight mode.

"Hello....?" he called out and stepped to the left.

"Get.... get away...." It was a guttural painful sound, that made him freeze. He should be afraid, he should back off and call for help. But when the bright light shone on a row of tombstones, he saw dark red droplets of what looked like blood on the stones. His eyes widened at the sight before looking ahead. He could see a slumped form of a person just yards away, leaning against one of the larger monuments.

"Wha.... what happened? Are you okay?" Castiel gasped out in shock. With the light, he saw a man with a bloody leg wound. He was slouched over, breathing heavily from the pain. "Dear Lord....! You're hurt....!" he gasped sharply as he rushed up to him.

"D-don't....!" the man gritted and flinched away when the priest crouched down. This person doesn't even know that he was in danger; he only saw the injury on him.... not the glowing eyes or the sharp teeth.

"Please, sir, I can help you.... Can you get up?" asked Castiel and the man quickly shook his head. "Hold on, I'll call 911--"

"No....!" he snapped and Castiel flinched at that. "I need.... no help....!" The priest frowned in utter befuddlement, staring at him then at the blood-soaked pants leg. It looked pretty bad but this man didn't seem to want to seek for the emergency room. Then again, he had never seen this person before.... he might be a drifter who had gotten attacked. But from where and by whom, he wondered for a second. "Just stay away from me.... I'll be fine...."

"N-no, I cannot.... Just stay right here, I can fix you up," Castiel insisted hastily, before getting to his feet and rushing back to the side door.

All the while, Dean hissed in his breath now that priest was gone albeit the sound of the alarm system going off for a few seconds. That was much too close, he had thought for sure that his fangs would be seen but the concern over his leg injury was good for that human's ignorance. Inhaling, his mind already imprinted on the priest's scent.

He wasn't sure if it was out of hunger, but the smell was so good on him. So natural, barely a hint of body spray or any other disgusting chemical on him. He knew that type of scent before but he never suspected that it was coming from a man like him.... Then again, being a priest, of course that man would smell so.... _pure_....

He was coming back, his nostrils flared as he looked away, trying not to hear the rushed pounding of the priest's heartbeats. "Here.... let me clean the wound, sir," Castiel muttered, opening up the first aid kit.

"You're wasting your time, Padre.... I told you I don't need your help," groaned Dean. Castiel raised an eyebrow at the nickname but shook it off as he took out a small bottle of rubbing alcohol.

"This is going to hurt...." he warned as he opened it and poured the clear liquid over the wound. Dean hissed and clawed his fingers into the old soil, it took all his might not to shred this human apart. The liquid burned as much as that silver dagger, before Castiel cleaned away the blood with some gauze. "I'm sorry, but since you didn't wish to go to the ER--"

"Yeah, but still I didn't want your help...." grunted Dean. The priest's scent was evident even in the cold damp air, but pursed his lips together to conceal his teeth. This human shouldn't be his next target, he wasn't the type to go after those who had faith in their god. Not that he believed in their deity, since he was a 'monster' like in the stories....

But Castiel didn't seem to notice it, as he wrapped the bandage around the thigh. "Are you okay, now....?" he muttered, glancing up at him. There was still a burning pain in his wound, but Dean barely nodded. "Can you stand up....?" he asked, the light from his cellphone shining on the vampire's face. Dean squinted at that, his eyes couldn't glow under artificial light but his vision was sensitive to the blinding shine and shielded his face with his hand.

"Just gimme a minute, I--" As soon as he glanced up, his pupils dilated at the sight of the priest's face. For a Man of the Cloth, he had never thought that he was good looking. Hell.... even for a human, he had never seen eye color that intense. It looked like liquid sapphire, full of concern yet confusion. He then absorbed the rest of his face, seeing that the priest have yet to shave with the stubbles coming out of his fair skin. The ruffled unkempt black-brown appeared unusual for a priest but on this human.... "Fucking hell...." he rumbled in surprise.

"Beg pardon....?" muttered Castiel.

"Uh, sorry...." With a grunt, Dean slowly get to his feet. "Thanks a lot, Padre...."

"But-- Are you sure you're okay, sir....?" Castiel frowned in concern. "I can still help you if you want. That's the point of my job, after all...."

"Nah, I'm really good."

"But... you were attacked, I should call the police--" he insisted, but his voice cut short when he was suddenly gripped by the jawline. He felt the firmness of this man's hold as his widened eyes stared at the intense green ones. But Dean didn't use hypnosis on him, instead he took the opportunity to take in more on this human's face. The priest didn't look afraid of him, yet apprehensive of his next move. And the next thought was getting some more blood, as the vampire felt the throbbing pulse so close to his fingers.

"No police.... I'll be on my way so I'll leave you alone," he gritted lowly, willing himself to remove his hand.

"But--"

"No cops, got it? I'm already in enough trouble as it is," he warned. "But I should thank you for patching me up.... Good night, Padre." As Dean took a step back, the priest blinked out of his stupor and cleared his throat.

"It's Castiel...." he mumbled.

"Hm?"

"Uh-- it's Castiel, sir, not Padre," Castiel answered with a nod. "Father Castiel, to be exact...." Still under the light, Dean blinked in surprise. He couldn't remember the last time a human address their names. And for some reason, he found it interesting. For once, his sharp teeth retracted in time as he put up a small smirk.

"Castiel, huh....? That's a cute one," he muttered. Castiel frowned in slight confusion at that before shaking it off.

"What's your name, then....? It'd be unfair of me not to know it when I help," he muttered. Despite of his pain, Dean smirked again. This human was very interesting to be around, but not now. His hunger was aching at him and he couldn't ignore it for too long.

"My name....? Well... it's--" he rumbled, before suddenly knocking the phone away from the priest's hand. That caught Castiel off guard and flinched by the action, making the phone tumble to the ground.

"Ah....! Oh no!" he gasped, the light concealed by the dirt as he quickly reached down for it. "Goodness, what was that about....?" he questioned in disbelief when he looked up at the injured man.

Only that.... the man was suddenly gone.

"What in the Lord's name....?" he frowned. With the light, he peered around the small graveyard but the man was nowhere to be seen. That couldn't be possible, the iron gates surrounded the property and it was impossible to climb over since they were rusty and little over six feet high. He glanced back at the church, remembering that he left the side door opened.

Hastily picking up the first aid kit, he jogged back inside. But there was no sign of that man, he would have left a bloody handprint or something on the wall, Castiel realized. He frowned in disbelief, it was as if the man had simply vanished into thin air. Not that he didn't believe in ghosts, but there was just no way that he treated an injured spectre. He shook his head, maybe he should sleep it off and then figure it out in the morning.

Putting away the first aid kit, Castiel finally left the church alarm enabled and all. Whoever that person was, he wondered how he was able to leave here with that injury. Or better yet, how he was able to get onto the property in the first place. But as he locked the gate and walked down the block, he didn't realize that a pair of glowing green-gold eyes were on him. Dean, perched on the heavy branch of a tree nearby, let out a soft growl as he watched the priest dwindling away.

His hunger was very evident, yet he was able to curb it down even after being so close to him. His scent and pulse were so close to him.... He was surprised at himself for not ripping into his neck. Maybe he could stick around this town for a while, to see if his instincts were working right for a pureblood.

As he was pondering about it, he suddenly felt a buzz in his jeans pocket and frowned, there was a good chance that it might be his meddlesome brother. He was right, checking out the caller ID after taking out his phone. "Great.... What is it, Sammy?" he grumbled when he answered it.

"Where are you, Dean?" asked Sam.

"I.... don't really know, I just rushed into some random town in the east," he grumbled.

"East where?"

"East to my ass, that's what...." he snorted. "Don't worry about it so much, idiot. Let's just say that I'm taking an overnight trip. Just let me know when something's up over there, okay....?"

"Goddamn it, Dean. Does this overnight trip involve getting laid or getting drunk off blood?" his brother questioned.

".... Who knows, it might be a bit of both," smirked Dean, looking back down the block but the priest was already gone from his sight. He could hear Sam scoffing in absolute annoyance but that was the least of his problem.

"Why.... am I even related to you....? Why do I even bother....?" Sam grumbled. "You're only lucky that you get to be the leader because you're the oldest.... But remember, the others had been talking about us lately. Just be careful, all right?" Dean's expression shifted and he frowned at that. He knew what that mean, something that even he was apprehensive about what the other pureblooded leaders would say about him.

"I know what I'm doing, Sammy...." he rumbled quietly. "Those other assholes can suck it. As long as I'm the leader and you're safe, everything's gonna be fine. That's all it matters."

"Sure, Dean, I trust you on that...." muttered Sam in a relieving tone. "Call me on the next sunset, okay?" "All right, whatever...." With that, he hung up the cellphone. He knew that Sam would be okay by himself, but he doesn't wish to leave him alone for too long. They have dealt with that on more than one occasion, with often disastrous consequences.... Dean groaned and scratched at his stomach. He needed to find someone around here fast, his specific desires going low. Hell, he would suck on a hobo if he has to, as long as he find a hotel to hole in for the day.

And maybe a new pair of jeans while he at it....

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

As soon as he began to doze off, Castiel blinked himself awake with a shiver. He didn't get enough sleep last night, simply because he was so worried about that man he helped last night. The stranger looked fairly young from what he can remember in the dark graveyard, possibly in his mid to late-twenties. He dressed like a drifter or possibly a trucker, but he wouldn't know.

But the only things that bothered him the most.... were the man's voice and the bright green eyes. Though the man was in pain, he spoke in a growling but husky manner so maybe then again he really was injured enough to speak like that. But then.... those sharp green eyes seemingly pierced right through his soul. In fact, that was the main reason that he couldn't sleep. It was so eerie....

Castiel shivered once more the moment he blinked and looked around. The church basement was currently being used for a community meeting-- something about a bake sale for next week, but he kept zoning out on it. Maybe he should have gotten coffee this morning instead of rushing here after a fretful night. "Father Castiel, are you all right....?" asked one of his patrons and he nodded.

"Restless sleep...." he muttered quietly before standing up from his seat. "I'll go to my office for some files...." It was partially true, but he made a brief gesture of the cross over his chest just in case as he left the basement. He felt so tired, it couldn't help to take a brief nap.

The bright green eyes brought up in his mind once again and groaned tiredly. He wasn't sure why it kept coming up, it almost seemed haunting yet.... oddly alluring at the same time. That sound so... strange to think that... As he walked out to the main area of the church, he took a quick glance at the altar. The giant crucifix with the weeping Son loomed over him, and he absentmindedly fiddled with his own tiny one around his neck.

It never gets old, he thought to himself. Just the sight of it gave him anxiety. That was probably the point of this religion, to be afraid of doing anything remotely wrong that can be considered a sin, even telling a white lie he had done earlier. But his anxiety was suddenly cut off, when he heard a hard pounding on the heavy entrance doors.

It sounded very harsh, especially since the doors were made of oak. Or walnut-- he never kept track of the facade anyway, as he brisked past the pews. "It's open....! It's not locked, it's opened....!" he called out as he opened one of the doors. But when he did it, his heart stopped at the sight of the visitor. "It's.... It's you...." he gasped quietly.

Dean grinned in greeting, looking appeared as if he hadn't been injured at all last night since he was standing up just fine. As a matter of fact, he had on a pair of new jeans to replace the torn bloody one. Castiel stared at him with squinty eyes, he didn't get a good look at him last night with the phone light but he was certain that it was him.

"So it is you, from last night...." he confirmed, with a small but relieved smile.

"Hey there, Padre...." nodded Dean, his green eyes concealed by a pair of reflective aviator sunglasses. Castiel blinked at that in slight confusion before the other man chuckled softly. "What's wrong? You didn't expect me to see you again...?" he asked.

"N-no, um, I'm glad that you're here and all right but-- Oh excuse me, do you wish to come in?" stammered Castiel, stepping inside.

"Really? Don't mind if I do," smirked Dean, walking right in with his hands in his jacket pockets. "I honestly thought that you wouldn't be here, seeing that not all priests live in churches...."

"Oh, some do, depending on the size of the property," Castiel answered honestly, making the vampire glanced at him with a raised eyebrow.

"That was supposed to be a joke," he pointed out.

"Oh.... I'm sorry--"

"Oh, that's all right, Padre, my sense of humor's pretty eccentric that most people don't get it," he grinned. Castiel smiled back a little, but it was almost awkwardly as he scratched the back of his neck.

"Sorry, but I don't get why you kept calling me Padre, sir...." he sighed.

"But that's what you are, Padre is just the cool Spanish way to call a priest," nodded Dean. "It kinda sounds badass, don't you think so?"

"Um, I prefer being more humble than.... that word," mumbled Castiel, visibly making himself stiff at 'badass'. But concern quickly took over as he glanced over at the right leg. There was no way that a deep wound like that would heal over so quickly. "Um, your leg...." he pointed out, and Dean let out a brief chuckle.

"Yeah, I just needed to sleep it off for a while," he grinned, though not too much to show his sharp teeth. "Then after that, I downed an entire bottle of whiskey. That's when I realized I needed to come by to thank you."

"Oh.... that's good and all, but I don't think that wise to be drinking so early in the afternoon, especially with such strong liquor," Castiel frowned with slight distress. That didn't really make any sense, consuming large quantities of alcohol while on the mend. But the other man didn't seem to mind of it as he casually strolled up to the decorative altar

Dean glanced at the large crucifix and merely frowned. One thing that popped up in his mind was how overstated the relic looked, but kept it to himself as he looked away. ".... It's a little overwhelming to look at, right?" Castiel asked quietly, noticing his reaction.

"Yeah, having a dude wailing like that would make someone uneasy," he muttered, and the priest blinked at his disregarding tone.

".... You don't have faith for yourself, my good man?" he questioned.

"The only faith I have is to live another day like crazy," shrugged Dean. "But if you ask my brother, he would give you a better answer since he's the better of the bunch."

"I see.... That's not a good thing, it's best to have faith especially when the times go dire," Castiel deliberated. "I doubt it was a coincidence when I found you injured last night. That was probably part of God's plan for you, sir."

"Yeah, if you think so...." he shrugged again. He gazed over at Castiel, who was very close to him, as he took a silent inhale. So he was right about this human's clean scent, and no doubt that his blood was untainted. Good thing that he had drunk enough liquor to hold down his hunger for a while, yet he couldn't help but feel intrigued by this innocent aura he was giving off. "Tell me, Padre...." he muttered.

"I'm called Father Castiel, sir," Castiel corrected him, his stern blue eyes on his smirking face. "And I think it's polite that you address your name as well."

"Oh, right.... Guess you can call me James Dean," he grinned lightly, making the priest befuddled by his answer. "You know, like the coolest rebel in American history, a famous Hollywood actor from the fifties....?"

"I don't really know, I barely have any knowledge of pop culture," Castiel shrugged. "That's one of the cons of being a priest, I guess...."

"Really? You look young enough to know someone famous," Dean nodded. "You're like, what-- 25, 28....?"

"I'm thirty," he muttered, almost sheepishly as he glanced at.... anything but Dean.

"And you're the charge of this place?"

"It's a privilege to be serving the Lord regardless of my age.... Mister Dean," he frowned a little. Dean simply chuckled, before pacing around the priest. The human didn't notice the way the vampire stalking around him, how the green eyes were glowing behind the sunglasses. But Dean played it cool, pretending to admire the architecture of the holy place.

"Such a big responsibility on you.... It's a shame that you can't have the fun as I would always have," he remarked quietly. "Chugging on shots, getting into bar fights...." he muttered, internally smirking that Castiel glanced up at him in utter surprise, as if it was mortifying to hear it here. "Hell, I can't remember the number of women I've slept with."

"Wha.... to say such things in here....!" he gasped, shaking his head as he took a quick cross over his chest. Dean glanced at him, noticing the embarrassing blush on his cheeks and ears.

"If you think that's bad, you should see the list of guys I banged as well," he chuckled teasingly. Castiel inhaled sharply at that, glaring at Dean in what looked like disgust as he grasped at his little gold cross. ".... Do you still think that God has plans for me, Padre?"

"I.... I cannot believe you've lived in such sin," Castiel frowned.

"Well it's my sin, and I'm responsible for it, that's my opinion," shrugged Dean, with a serious frown. "I wouldn't see the point of asking for forgiveness if I myself think I've done nothing wrong. That's just how I roll...." But the priest looked dismayed, not sure how to think of this man whom he had helped the night before.

He had done the right thing, as it was his responsibility as a religious man to do so. "You.... you were hurt, surely you must have thought that God could help you in some way," he reasoned.

"I've had worse, that's why I'm feeling fine after that slash on my leg," he muttered.

"But-- I'm confused.... That cannot be possible, Mister Dean....!" frowned Castiel.

"Well, I'm a strange man, and you just happened to help me at the right place and time," nodded Dean. "If you believe that it was divine intervention or something like that, then that's you. You're the priest here, not me." When he walked up to him, he patted at his shoulder. Castiel flinched, not because he was being touched, but he hadn't expected an appreciative smirk on Dean's face when he looked up.

"I didn't come here to be preached on or to have my soul saved, I just wanna thank you for helping me last night," he smirked, before lifting up his sunglasses to reveal his mesmerizing green eyes. Castiel instantly froze by his sharp stare, but just as fast Dean put the eyewear back on. "Thanks a lot, Cas, I'll find a way to pay you back," he grinned, as he turned to leave. Castiel stood there for moment, wondering what had just happened before blinking in realization.

"C-Cas....?" he questioned as he looked back at the man. "It's easier to say than 'Father Castiel', right?" Dean smirked with a quick wave. Blinking, Castiel just watched him opening the heavy door and stepped out. That was.... so peculiar.... As a Catholic, he should be praying for that man's soul for his wrongdoings. But Dean was nonchalant over his so-called sins, saying that it was his problems alone.

Not only that, he was so.... nice. A little rough around the edge but he was somewhat polite, after all he was thanked for helping him. Nodding to himself, he walked up to the first row of the pews and sat down. Clasping his hands over his lap, he merely looked ahead before he let out a heavy sigh. "I know I've done the right thing.... yet that man didn't wish to be pestered by faith or belief," he muttered, imploring blue eyes gazing up at the arched ceiling.

He was obviously met with silence but he expected that. ".... Mister Dean said that he doesn't want to be saved, that he didn't mind condemning his soul for eternal damnation," he sighed. "He would rather be happy with the life he has now, even though it's not the right.... lifestyle...." He frowned at himself at that; he didn't want to sound so judgmental. Having premarital sex with women was one thing, but sleeping with men also shouldn't be right.

Dean, however, didn't look the type to be bisexual. He was simply a handsome looking man-- and he meant it in a simple platonic way. Blinking, he realized that he was scrunching up his face from thinking so much. That was a force of habit as he shook his head. Still, he wished if he could talk to him more, wondering if that man might come back.

Meanwhile, Dean shuddered from being out in the daylight. Although the sun was completely covered by the cloudy sky, he could feel the warmness on his face. He wanted to go back to that busted hotel he was staying and crawl into bed, but he lingered in front of the cream-colored church. ".... 'Garrison of the Lord Catholic Church', that's a mouthful...." he muttered after noticing the sign on the gate. He glanced at the church and smirked. Despite of the noises of the streets behind him, he could clearly hear Castiel muttering to himself.

And he was talking about Dean, who chuckled softly. Never would he have thought that he would feel more than interested of the priest. That type of human should be off-limits.... In the vampire community, humans of certain professions cannot be fed on in order to avoid a scandal in their world. Politicians, law enforcement.... and members of the clergy.

And yet Dean wanted this one, his instincts aching against common sense as he let out a deep but inaudible rumble. Even his sharp teeth threatened to creep out, but he kept calm as he willed himself to walk away from the church. He wasn't sure why.... but his instincts seemed to be rewiring itself at the thought of 'Cas'. That he should have him.... not to just to have a taste of his untainted blood, but something more.....

Maybe if he were to go back to sleep now then the instincts would go away. But he instantly doubted that, as he was a vampire. And by nature, vampires usually go with their urges, regardless of their own laws. Dean groaned softly, feeling a sense of arousal in his lower stomach. "Damn, I'm getting a blood-boner over a priest.... great," he muttered to himself with a light smirk.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"...." Blinking tiredly, Castiel opened his eyes. His mind fuzzy for moment, thinking that he was at home. But instead of his bed, he was slumped over his desk before he slowly sat up and stretched out his arms. "Goodness...." he yawned out. "I can't believe I really fell asleep.... God forgive me." He shook his head to shake off the sleep, wondering how long he was out. But he knew that it was evening by the darkness in his office.

He frowned in surprise and glanced at the wall clock. Just past eight-forty. Meaning that he was asleep for over four hours after that afternoon meeting. Castiel should feel ashamed for falling asleep like that, but after meeting that Dean person, it felt like a sense relief washed over him. Getting to his feet, he yawned again and took off his cossack. It was time to leave in order to start the new day. Tomorrow was Friday, meaning that it would be a busy weekend as usual.

He grabbed for his coat as he left the office, the silence in the House was very comforting to him. But the moment he stepped out, a sense of uneasiness instantly fell on him. But why....? He had never felt like that before, whenever he was all alone in the church.

But then again.... he had forgotten to put up the alarm after everybody was gone. He wasn't paranoid of a burglar being in here, but just to make sure.... Castiel turned to go to the main area of the church, hoping that the main doors were properly locked. Under the darkness, the surroundings looked haunting but the priest could care less as he checked. All four bolts were secured, he remembered doing so, but he couldn't shake off this feeling he was having, as if he had forgotten to do something.

".... Long day at the office, huh?"

The instinctive reaction was to shout out in fright, but Castiel felt his voice caught in his throat, only giving out a choked gasp. He whirled around with widened eyes, seeing if there was anybody in here. And there was.... in the front row of pews, as he noticed someone sitting there. His heart was beating so fast, it felt like a heart attack.

"Wh-wh-who's there....?" he gasped shakily.

".... It's me, Cas, remember....?" The familar rough voice shook Castiel in absolute surprise, before the shadowy figure stood up. "The guy you helped out the other night, James Dean....?"

"Wha.... Mister Dean....?!" Castiel nearly hyperventilated, coughing when he tried to gasp for air. "How.... on earth.... did you get in? I locked the doors--"

"Yeah, about that.... I figured that the front door would be bolted up, so I went around the back and picked the side door," Dean replied almost in a cocky manner. "Don't worry about it, I didn't damage the lock or anything--"

"You broke in here, in the House of the Lord?" the priest questioned, the shock mixing in with disbelief.

"Well, I thought the church welcome anybody," he said, calmly walking up to the flustered man. "Also.... I wanna talk to you, if you don't mind." Castiel looked up at the man with such incredulity, realizing that he was still wearing sunglasses.

"But.... at this time of night, when I was about to leave? Not to mention that you broke into here," he shook his head. "Mister Dean, may I suggest that you leave now. I have helped you as it was my duty, but you've just committed a crime and because of that, I might have to call the cops on you."

But the threat didn't seem to deter Dean. In fact, he grinned at that as he chuckled softly. His throaty yet smooth laugh echoed within the hollow air of the church. The sound of it sent Castiel shivers down his spine, making the coat slip from his arms in a frumpy thump. "I'm not a criminal, Cas," he murmured quietly. "Sure, I'm a pretty big sinner-- based on my debauchery that I mentioned to you earlier.... But I'm simply asking for a chat with you."

"I... I don't know-- You still came in illegally," Castiel frowned in disbelief. "Maybe I'd talk to you if you apologize about breaking in. I wouldn't mind forgiving about it, but it's late and I should go home."

"That's the thing, I'm only here for one more night and that's tonight," grinned Dean. "Just hear me out, okay, Cas....?" The priest looked at him, wondering whether or not to trust this man. Breaking into public property just to have a discussion sounded like an ill idea in the first place. But he did wonder of meeting him again. Plus, he supposed that he could forgive him right here and now for such a brash behavior since nothing was stolen or broken.

He glanced at his face concealed by the aviator glasses, wondering why he was wearing it in the dark. By now he calmed down with a nod, before taking a deep breath. ".... As long as you're sorry about the break-in, I might hear you out, Mister Dean," nodded Castiel.

"That's good to hear...." grinned Dean. "But first.... I have something to show you, Cas...."

"Hmm, and what's that?"

"My eyes.... they can be very.... intimidating, to say the least...." he warned as he finally took off the glasses. But.... as he opened his eyes, he instantly noticed the stunned look on the priest's face. Castiel was speechless-- that word should be an understatement-- as he looked at Dean's green eyes. It was intense as he thought it was.... he had just never thought that they would be glowing reflectively in near darkness.

"Dear Lord...." he breathed out, transfixed by the sight of it. His hand couldn't even move to gesture the cross, because his mind automatically went to something else. That the eyes were more than unnatural....

Dean expected that type of reaction from the priest, his smirk fell as he blinked a few times. "Shocking, isn't it....?" he sighed.

"You're.... wearing contacts, right?" Castiel managed to question him, his hitched voice coming out raspy. There was just no way that could be right.

"No, my eye's 100 percent real, Padre...." Dean replied. "Sure, they're a little uneasy to look at.... but it doesn't mean that I'm different. Well.... I _am_ different, but you should understand that, right? You cannot judge me.... for what I am...."

"Wha-what're you talking--" The air gushed out of Castiel's lungs, when he was suddenly pinned against the wooden. His widened eyes stared at Dean in utter shock. He couldn't move his arms, feeling that the other man was gripping them firmly. "Wha...." he tried to talk, but his voice felt constricted once again. Not with the glowing green eyes on him.

".... Look at me, _Castiel_...." rumbled Dean, staring straight into the priest's frightened eyes. "I'm not gonna hurt you.... Just like I said, I just wanna see you one last time."

"B-but...."

"I just want a taste of it.... Your smell is so pure and innocent, I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't wrong about this," he growled softly. "It's been a while since I had a taste of virgin, but you're actually the first guy.... that I find interested in...."

"Wha.... W-wait a minute, what're you talking about....?" Castiel gasped at him. He was afraid and confused at Dean, who frowned back in confusion.

".... Hm? Wait.... you're not hypnotized at this moment?" he rumbled.

"Hypnotized? Y-you're speaking nonsense....!" gasped Castiel. "I don't know what you're talking about but I need to ask you to leave this instant....!" But Dean didn't seem to hear him, as he grimaced in utter befuddlement.

This doesn't make any sense, the powers of the purebloods were absolute, even the most confident human can fall under the compelling spell. But.... this one, there was no actual effect on him through the eye contact. Then that meant.... the priest was seeing his eyes as abnormally strange, and it was scaring the human. "Shit.... how that fuck can this happen....?!" he hissed, making Castiel flinch.

"P-please, Mister Dean.... let me go...." he tried to reason though with a shaky voice. "I've no precious valuables, and neither does the church.... If you leave now, I will forgive you of your sins and I won't call the police on you--"

"No.... you saw my face, we already met because of it...." growled Dean, as the glow in his eyes suddenly intensified. "I could give you my blood, that might work...." Castiel felt his heart beating harshly, this man was sounding too deranged to believe. Glowing eyes, giving blood....? He must get away from him, as he began to struggle.

"Please--"

"Don't," Dean growled at him, his sharp teeth already extending out of his gums.

"Lord have mercy....!" Castiel gasped sharply in horror at the sight of it. "You're a demon....?!"

"No, Mister Priest.... I'm something else...." Before the priest could react, his body suddenly felt like he was being thrown harshly. He yelled out in pain when he landed onto his back, before feeling his neck being constricted by his now attacker's hand. He gasped, he could still breathe but it was hard to utter a scream.

Fearful tears stung his sapphire blue eyes, as he realized that he was in front of the altar. The sight of the sorrowful grimace on the Son above him made it all the more terrifying. He stared wide-eyed at Dean, who had him pinned down as he growled lowly. His expression was mostly composed but deep down he was savoring the smell of fear coming off the priest. He could even tell fast his pulse was going by his blood flow, something that was making him aroused as he gave out a deep exhale.

"You're lucky that I already fed before coming to see you...." he growled. "But.... it doesn't mean that I won't have a taste of you. Seeing you like this, I might not even leave a mark on you afterwards but who knows...."

Castiel gasped out, still afraid of what this man was, of what he was doing to him. "Wh-what.... are you trying to do me?" he wheezed out in absolute fright. Dean's eyes glowed again as he soon put up a eerily charming smirk, showing off his sharpened incisors.

"Well.... you just smell so lovely, Mister Priest.... I shouldn't be that surprised that your blood would smell so pure...."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and Review

I'll update ASAP!!


	2. Cabin Fever

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 2- Cabin Fever**

Dean wasn't sure how to react exactly over his failed hypnosis on Castiel, but he knew that he couldn't leave him knowing what he was. Well, he couldn't leave him at all, revealing his true form as he was growling with his sharp teeth bared. Also, he didn't want to let Castiel see him this way. But his instincts reacted against him, the pulsating sound of his blood flowing in his veins was loud and clear in his keen hearing. He wanted to taste the lifesource so badly, but the one thing was holding him back was how to deal with the priest who had seen his monstrous face.

Taking a deep breath, Dean stared at Castiel's terrified eyes, seeing if he should try it again. "Stare into my eyes, _Castiel_...." he rumbled lowly, the growling tone rolling off the priest's name. "I am not going to hurt you...."

"Y-you're lying.... the Devil is within you....!" gasped Castiel, his petrified voice wheezing out. "God have mercy on your soul...."

"What the fuck....? I can't believe it...!" Dean scoffed in disbelief. It really doesn't make any sense, how can a simple human be unaffected by his hypnotic eyes? It cannot be possible.... "Even the mixbloods can be compelled.... but why not you....?" he grumbled to himself, but Castiel shuddered by his words, not getting what he was saying.

"Please, please.... God, protect me from this demon...." he prayed feebly. "I am the Child of the Lord--"

"Shut up, shut up...." huffed Dean and the priest flinched into silence. "Time for plan B...." Quickly, he bit into the thumb of his free hand, making the blood ooze out. "Hold still...."

"Ah-- Mmmph....!" Castiel cringed in horror when the vampire suddenly jammed the digit into his mouth. The blood on his tongue was thick and bitter, and he visibly grimaced at the taste of it. He struggled from his attacker's hold as he whimpered in fright, while Dean's glowing eyes narrowed in utter disbelief. This one wasn't affected by the taste of his own pure blood.... this cannot be right! "Don't-- please don't....!" whimpered Castiel, spitting out the blood.

"The fuck, the fuck, the fuck....!" Dean nearly snarled out. Neither the hypnosis or the blood worked.... what was wrong with this human? He was perfect, untainted and pure. Dean was doing it right, he knew that, he had compelled virgins before. But then again, they were usually women. And Castiel was the first male he have come across that he had wanted for it. He growled with annoyance, not paying attention to the feeble muttering of prayers from his prey.

"Shit....!" he growled, thinking of one more thing to do. Baring his teeth, he leaned close to Castiel's terrorized face. The film of sweat on his skin even smelled good, making Dean even more aroused despite of his puzzlement over his powers. "Don't know why the fuck my shit's not working.... but I truly want you so bad...." he breathed deeply.

"W-want me....? You will devour me, aren't you, Devil....?" gasped Castiel.

"Oh, I have a different meaning of devour.... but if I do that before drinking your blood, it won't taste pure," he growled. The priest looked at him in a bewildered manner. He tried to struggle again, managing to wrestle one of his arms free.

"G-get back, demon!" he yelled out, pushing against Dean's chest. But it was obviously in vain, it was like hitting against a brick wall. In response, Dean frowned and grabbed his wrist, feeling the bones creak from his preternatural strength.

".... You're making it worse on yourself, Cas...." he rumbled lowly. "I'll get what I want and that's it...." Castiel winced when his arm was pinned down before hot tears trickling out of his now clenched eyes. He was beyond scared now.

"Lord, help me.... please...." he muttered frightfully. But his prayers fell on deaf ears as he felt the warm breath of his attacker on his neck. A second later, he felt his white collar ripping off, alongside the thin gold chain of his crucifix. The tiny jewelry clattered across the floor.

Dean's green-gold eyes glowed at the now bared throat, wandering down to the slight exposure of the priest's chest out of the black dress shirt. Under the darkness, he could see the flawless fair skin, making his mouth water at the sight of it. He panted heavily as he finally pressed his lips against the pulsating vein on Castiel's throat. "Hmm.... so good...." he purred deeply, trailing a tongue across the skin.

"A-ahh...." Castiel couldn't take it anymore, teary eyes glanced up at the haunting relic above him. His god didn't stop this from happening, that he was going to die.... Was this expected to happen, that this was all part of God's plan....? Before he knew it, a sudden sharp pain pierced into his skin. "Ahh--" His scream was cut short by his own shock. His blue eyes widened to the extent, he couldn't move as Dean suddenly pulled him up to his lap.

The vampire groaned in pleasure at the sickly sweet nectar oozing out. The taste of it had already rushed down to his loins, and he mentally grinned for pinching a tent in his tight jeans. But his prey was simply limp in his arms, possibly passed out from the bite. That wasn't good, the trauma of being attacked like this can cause mental scarring and even insanity. Many victims of vampire attacks were often institutionalized if they weren't compelled, few even committed suicide due to severe mental breakdown.

He didn't want that for Castiel, who let out a wet choking gasp. "Mmm....!" As much as he wanted to keep tasting the pure blood of the priest, Dean reluctantly removed his teeth from the neck. Trickles of the dark red essence trailed down his chin as he glanced at Castiel's slacken expression. He was barely breathing, the precious blue eyes rolled to the back of his head that was already limp to the side.

But his heart was still beating fast, noted Dean but he frowned just the same. There was no way that he could leave him here like this. That, and the alluring taste of his blood was too good to pass up. "Cas...." he rumbled quietly, lapping over the fresh wound. The bleeding must stop soon.... before taking him away from here. This wasn't going as good as he thought, even after drinking this priest's blood. "Cas, don't pass out on me.... I really want you.... You're gonna be okay."

As the bleeding stopped, Dean carefully shifted his limp body as he braced his arms under his legs and back. His instincts were biting at him to take his blood again, but concerns whirled around his mind. Hospital was out of the question, and leaving him in the woods might lure more vampires to Castiel-- something that he didn't want on his precious prey. He wanted him to be his and his only, even if the compelling powers didn't work on the human.

Inhaling the clean natural smell on Castiel, Dean let out a quivering groan. There was one way he could have him.... regardless of his little brother's possible protests. No doubt he would get an earful and more over this.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It felt.... so comfy, Castiel groggily thought. Was he in heaven....? He wasn't so sure.... but he was nestled in something soft and warm like feather. He felt so tired, yet he felt like he hadn't slept in days. But he also felt like he couldn't move, when he subconsciously tried to move his right arm. The limb felt like it was stuck on something. "Ahh...." He moved again, but his arm was still stuck as he accidentally yanked on his shoulder joint.

"Ahh...!" he hissed out in surprise. His eyes felt too dry to open but he did so slowly. His vision was blurry, but he could tell that it was pitch dark. Castiel blinked before groaning weakly, feeling a dull throbbing pain shooting up in his neck. "Ah-- oww...." he hissed. What was this pain....? He didn't remember feeling this way before....

Wait....

Blinking again, Castiel gasped in realization as he looked around. But his surrounding was nothing but darkness, making him panic more. "Wh-where am I....?" he gasped shakily. He grasped at the soft material covering him with his free hand, before realizing that was a bed comforter. Meaning.... that he was on some bed. Was it his bed, was he home....? No... that couldn't be right.

Not with his right wrist tied above him.

Very slowly, he sat up, the comforter fell off his upper body and he instantly felt cold. His shirt was somehow gone, leaving his chest bare. He touched his cool skin, before he suddenly grazed at a cottony material around his neck. His blue eyes widened in surprise. Where did this come from....?

_"Look at me, Castiel.... I'm not gonna hurt you...."_

"Ah...." Castiel remembered now.... of what that man did to him. How that.... demon was able to charm him into letting his guard down, before showing his true nature with his deviously glowing eyes and hideous fangs. Dean, or whatever his name was, had done something to him, judging by the pain in his neck. "Dear Lord.... What has happened to me....?" he muttered in horror, wondering why he was tied to some bed in the dark room.

It sounded dead quiet when he tried to listen for any noise. Was he alone....? He began to hyperventilate, before reaching up to in an attempt to untie the thick cloth around his wrist.

".... He's awake, I can hear him...."

Castiel froze at the sudden hushed voice, before looking around to hear where it was coming from. It sounded distant but this voice sounded.... concerned. But he couldn't believe that to be true if he was stuck in an unknown room.

".... Do something about this...." He heard a different voice murmuring and his breath hitched at the now angered tone. "You fucked it up big time, and now he's your responsibility.... You were supposed to be the leader, Dean, how can you let this happened....?"

Dean.... So it was that monster's true name....

"I panicked, okay....?" the other voice spoke, nearly hissing in frustration. That was the devil's voice he was familiar with. "That had never happened before, I already told you that he couldn't get compelled....!"

"Then you should've let him be....!"

"He saw my face, my fucking eyes-- I couldn't leave him there with him knowing about it...."

"Oh, really? You should've left him alone anyway.... You shouldn't have tracked him down afterwards, when you know that priests are off-limits....!"

"But.... he just smells so good.... I couldn't help it, even his blood tasted perfect...."

Castiel gasped softly at that, not realizing that he was touching his bandaged neck. So Dean had drunk his blood, the thought of it instantly made him sick to his stomach. He really was a demon, the kind that drank blood.... A vampire. He flinched when he heard the slight squeaking sound of the doorknob being turned in front of him. So this was it, he was going to be at the mercy of these monsters for his blood.

The door opened slowly, but he couldn't see who was there. The next thing he knew, he squinted his eyes shut when a lamp right next to him came on. How did that happened? ".... You feeling all right?" a soft murmur spoke above him, and he flinched. "Hey, I'm not here to hurt you...." Rubbing his eyes, Castiel looked up hesitantly, only to blink in mild surprise.

This wasn't Dean.... but a tall young man with deep chestnut hair. His fair-skinned face was tightly fixed with concern as he glanced at the bandaged neck. ".... How.... are you feeling?" he muttered quietly. Castiel just stared at him in fright, not sure what to think of it.

"You're.... an abomination, as well?" he muttered, his voice barely a whimper, and the tall man frowned at that.

"Guess you can say that.... but abomination's a little mean to call me that," muttered the man. "You can call me Sam--"

"I will call you a demon, that's what you are....!" gasped Castiel. He wanted to move away from this person, if it weren't for him being tied to the bedpost. Sam remained composed over his reaction, his hazel-green eyes not even glowing under the light of the lamp as he stepped closer to the bed. "S-step back--"

"I'm just checking out your wound.... I was the one who treated you in the first place," he muttered calmly, as he suddenly gripped his chin. Castiel froze by his touch. The fingers on him were firm, but they felt like a vicegrip against his skin as Sam leaned down. If this one was truly a vampire, he didn't show by the faint smell of blood underneath the bandage. ".... He didn't bite you too deep, but it'll leave a mark for a while...." he sighed deeply.

"B-bite....?" he gasped.

"As in he bit you in order to drink your blood," said Sam as he moved away. Castiel stared wide-eyed at the man, who was still composed but gave off an annoyed scoff. "Damn it, Dean.... I can't believe you did this."

"I can hear you just fine, Sam...." came a grumble, before Dean stepped right into the room. The priest whipped his head and saw the man, whose expression was unreadable for the moment. No... this wasn't a man, as he gasped sharply.

"You--" His yell was instantly cut off by Sam's large hand clamping over his mouth. His grip was like solid steel, but Castiel muffled out a panicked whimper as he tried to pull it away. Neither vampires paid attention to him, as Sam frowned in disappointment at Dean.

"Are you happy now, Dean....? You just had to get this guy, even though you know about our laws," he scoffed, and his brother merely frowned. "Really? You decided to break it, all because his blood tastes good....?"

"More than good, it's like drinking the best brandy in the world if that's the best explanation," shrugged Dean.

"I'm surprised that you didn't drain him dry, asshole," frowned Sam, nearly gritting his teeth.

"Because he was about to go into shock after I took a few gulps," he frowned. "He couldn't be compelled by hypnosis or my blood. Yet...."

"What?"

".... I can still smell him, even underneath that bandage," he sighed. "Come on, Sammy, I never get a chance to drink from a human so rare. I mean, virginal guys are usually smelly geeky losers living in shady basements. But this one.... he's pretty much to look at, I should say."

"So.... if he was some ugly guy--

"Fugly is a better term," he said, and Sam inhaled at his brother's 'better' term.

"Right.... you wouldn't be interested of drinking his blood if he didn't look handsome," frowned the younger brother. Dean merely shrugged, before walking up to the bed. Castiel was close to going into shock once again and struggled once again, his mind rambling on any known prayers in the bible. ".... Your presence is making him scared shitless. Maybe you should leave--"

"Leave? This is my room," huffed Dean.

"Dean...." Sam turned to him with a knowing glance. ".... Maybe I can try it instead, not every pureblood's powers are exactly the same."

"And you think you can do it, Vegan-Vamp?" he questioned.

"Just.... step back, please. I can compel him into forgetting that you fed on him, and then you can take him home. And you _won't_ come back to him ever again, unless you wish to get your ass handed over to you for breaking the laws."

Dean frowned at him, but exhaled as stepped away. "Whatever...." he grumbled as he glared away.

Blue eyes darted between the two vampires, Castiel whimpered behind the strong hand before Sam leaned down to his face. The hazel-green eyes soon glowed but the vampire stayed stoic as he glanced right at his petrified face. "What's his name?" Sam asked quietly.

"Cas-- uh, it's Castiel," muttered Dean.

"All right then.... Listen to me, _Castiel_...." Sam murmured, staring into the widened eyes. "We will not hurt you.... we will make you forget about everything that had happened to you. You have nothing to worry about...." But Castiel remained frightened, still shaking in the taller man's hold as he continued to struggle. Sam's eyebrows furrowed in surprise, before glancing over at his brother.

".... He's not compelled," he frowned.

"No shit...." nodded Dean.

"Well, how's that possible? Humans can't be immune to it, even the mixbloods couldn't fight off the hypnosis," scoffed Sam.

"You believe me now? We can't take him back, Sam," he frowned.

"Fine.... we can't, but we also can't have a human hostage in our home," he reasoned. "If the other purebloods were to know that you kidnapped a priest, they will punish us. You always get into trouble but this seriously takes the fucking cake, Dean."

"Hey, if the cake is this virgin padre over there, then I don't regret it," huffed Dean.

"Dean....!" his younger brother admonished, his own sharp teeth threatening to come out before taking a deep breath. "Just.... think for once, please? We got a terrified human here, who can't even be compelled. What other options do we have?"

".... Well, I don't wanna kill him, his blood's too good to pass up," he pointed out, and Sam nearly let out an exasperated growl. "You say that this is my responsibility, right? Well, I have something to say.... If the news mentions anything about a missing priest, we lay low for a while.... We won't attract any attention when hunting either. And the only way to do that.... is to keep him here."

"But--"

"Do you honestly think that he'll make a fuss with two powerful vampires around, Sammy?" muttered Dean, his eyes turning green-gold with a glow as he narrowed them. "If he wants to live, he'd do his best not to cause trouble. Not that I wanna hurt him for real...."

".... And then what, you'll keep feeding on him?" questioned Sam.

"Dunno."

"Then you should figure it out, Dean, we can drink from transfusion bags in the meantime," he muttered.

"Tch, great...."

"Now that's somewhat settled...." Sam looked back at Castiel, who was on the verge of a breakdown, before the glow of his eyes went away. "I'm not compelling you right now, Castiel.... but you must understand this," he muttered calmly. "I am Sam, the younger brother of that idiot who attacked you--"

"Tch, bitch," Dean grumbled under his breath as he crossed his arms.

"I know that this is traumatizing to you that you were taken from your hometown, and being held here against your will...." Sam continued, completely ignoring him. "But understand this. As long as you comply to our rules here in this house, nothing will happen to you. Do you get what I'm saying, Castiel....? Nod if you understand that." Still shuddering, Castiel stared warily at Sam. The younger vampire seemed more coolheaded and reassuring, but he couldn't trust him.

In fact, he shouldn't dare to trust these monsters. To him, they were nothing but spawns of the devil, feeding on the life force of the innocent. If anything, he would rather die than be at their mercy. Yet.... killing himself would be the ultimate sin in his religion, condemning his soul to Hell seemed worse than being a hostage in an unknown place. Very, very reluctantly, he gave a slight nod and Sam noticed with a light smile.

"I'm going to remove my hand now.... Promise me that you wouldn't scream," he advised. Slowly, he removed his hand away from the priest's face. Castiel inhaled a deep breath, waiting hesitantly for either of them to do something next.

".... The fuck are we gonna feed him?" Dean wondered out loud, making the priest flinched slightly from his voice. "Do we have to feed him just raw tomatoes or something?"

"Don't know, Dean, the last time you've been to the supermarket was to get eight kinds of liquor and toothpaste," Sam replied with a twinge of annoyance in his voice, as he turned to him. "Maybe if you haven't kidnapped a priest in the first place, then we wouldn't have to worry about stocking up food."

"I get it, I get it...." groaned Dean with a shake of his head. "But aren't supermarkets closed for the night? It's already past one."

One....? It was nearly nine when Castiel was attacked, the human realized, meaning that he was out for over four hours. "There's always gas stations. Go check them out," ordered Sam.

"Wha-- wait a minute, why do I have to go? I just thought we agreed to lay low for a while," scoffed Dean.

"Because Castiel is downright scared of you, and leaving you here with him would only make it worse," he frowned. Dean frowned back at his brother's bitch-faced expression, then at Castiel. Of course the human was frightened by him-- with the widened blue eyes gazing at him with apprehension. But to argue with Sam just to stay wouldn't make any sense for once in his usually irrational mind.

"Fuck, fine.... Geez, humans are so sensitive...." muttered Dean. As soon as he stepped forward, he instantly disappeared in a blur. Castiel blinked in shock at what had just happened, before he heard a distant sound of a door opening then closing. How did that demon do that in the matter of seconds was truly unnatural.

He blinked back into realization when he glanced up to see Sam untying the tough cloth from his wrist. "There.... I'm sure you need to use to the bathroom or something, but if not, you can wait in the living room downstairs," he said. Castiel seemingly balked at the thought of this vampire offering him a form of hospitality, but after feeling the blood rushing back to his hand, he rubbed at his free wrist and nervously glanced down at his lap. ".... Castiel....?"

".... I prefer it that you don't address my name with your tongue," he muttered gruffly. Sam raised an eyebrow but sighed as he walked away from the bed.

"Just because my dumbass brother hurt you but it doesn't mean that you have to act mean towards me," he sighed.

"Mean....? You two are nothing but products of the Devil....! How can I feel reassured if I'm being held against my will?" Castiel scoffed in disbelief.

"The Devil, that's what he sees us...." Sam sighed in mental exhaustion. "You really are a priest, I give you that. But I can assure you that we're not Satan's kids or anything like that, Castiel. Vampires had been around long before there was even such a thing as Christianity...."

".... And you expect me to believe that?" he questioned. Sam merely shrugged as he paced around the room.

"I expect you to keep calm over this situation, we can't afford to create any more trouble involving you," he said. "There are other vampires that are far worse than Dean taking a quick drink from your neck."

"...."

".... Come on, I'll show you the bathroom," muttered Sam as he then stood by the opened doorframe. Castiel just sat with out moving on the bed, not wanting to consent to his words. He had never acted this stubborn before, he was rarely a pushover but he wouldn't wish to act on someone else's whim. "You can't stay in there, unless you want Dean to have a breakfast in bed," he deadpanned.

"Ah.... F-fine..." Castiel relented, slowly getting off the bed. The only clothing he had on were his black slacks, as his bare feet touched the cool wooden floor. He was still hesitant to follow the tall vampire. But it was just a short trip to the bathroom, it shouldn't be that difficult. He followed Sam by five steps as they walked down the short dimly lit hallway. The bathroom was to the right, the staircase to left, at the end of the hallway.

Castiel noticed that and immediately wondered if he could make a run for it. But just as quickly, the idea was dashed from his mind, remembering how fast Dean was able to move. Sam could instantly grab him before he could even make a step, but the vampire was preoccupied as he opened the door and clicked on the light. "Go knock yourself out...." he nodded as he glanced at him. "But I recommend that you don't make an escape attempt, as the window is barred."

"Wh-what....?" Castiel muttered in surprise.

"As a matter of fact, all of the windows are barred, so whatever you're thinking, you better shut those ideas away," sighed Sam. "I'll know when you're done...." Despite being a heavier person, he bounced down the stairs lightly, leaving the priest alone. Castiel frowned dreadfully. So they weren't kidding about him thinking of getting away from them. The soft white glow was barely comforting as he stepped into the small bathroom.

The tiled floor was a lot colder as he turned to the mirror of the medicine cabinet. His reflection.... it didn't look like him at all. His skin was so pale and dry to the touch. His hair was in disarray, while his eyes were rimmed with red from the soreness. He glanced at his neck and grimaced at the sight of the purplish bruise slightly visible from underneath the bandage. He tentatively touched over the bruise and winced, feeling the pain when he swallowed dryly.

It hurts.... everything about this predicament was so wrong, he thought sorrowfully. He wanted to cry but he swallowed again to hold back the feeling. He has to be strong about this, he couldn't let these monsters get to him. "I'm a Child of God.... I cannot let them taint me...." he muttered quietly, turning on the faucet and splashing warm water onto his face. There must be a way out of this.... if he could find a way out of here, that he could get to the police....

"Uhh--" Castiel flinched in surprise and looked up, seeing Sam holding a folded bundle of clothes. "Sorry but.... I got something that might fit you...." he sighed, placing on the countertop of the sink. The priest cautiously watched his movements, it was fluid yet awkwardly human, before Sam took a step back. "Listen, Castiel, the only thing we got here are beer and water. If you don't mind waiting a bit longer...."

"And then what....?" he questioned warily.

"You eat the food brought by.... Well, we'll figure it out later," shrugged Sam as he moved to leave.

"So I'm your prisoner now, demon....?" frowned Castiel and the vampire paused to look at him.

"To be honest, I'd rather you have compelled and be sent back home," he muttered. "I don't know how to deal with this, we rarely have any humans around let alone one that's going be stuck with us for who knows how long. But.... if we find a way to get you home, I'd tell you."

"You... you keep talking about compelling, what does that mean?" muttered Castiel. "That's a form of witchcraft you used, correct....?"

"Vampires can't use witchcraft...."

"You know what I mean," he replied curtly. Sam narrowed his eyes at him, and the priest instantly regretted his tone, but the vampire merely shook his head.

"We can talk about that later.... just hurry up and change, Dean'll be here in a few minutes," he sighed, leaving the bathroom. It was strange not to hear any other sounds afterwards, but Castiel just stood there with a strained frown. He didn't wish to see Dean, not after that man had done to him. But there was no way to avoid him, as he eventually picked up a faded green T-shirt.

He felt self-conscious of the fabric rubbing against the bandage but said nothing about it as he then put on a red hooded sweatshirt that was two sizes too big. But after that, he continued to stand on the cold tiled floor. He was still afraid of being in this... house, with these blood-sucking demons, not knowing whether they really want to take him home or hold him hostage as a personal food bank. There was hard to see a way out of it.

Very quietly and slowly, he left the bathroom. It was obvious the he was on the second floor as he glanced at the staircase. He could hear the soft sound of noises of television downstairs, possibly in the living room. That person Sam was obviously waiting for him to show his face, as he reluctantly moved to walk downstairs. Halfway down, he could see it was just a big space, with the sound coming to the right.

As he reached the landing, he gingerly glanced around. The living room area appeared simple with a couch and a recliner facing the TV. He could see the back of Sam's head, as the vampire seemed still as a statue on the couch and not paying attention to him. Castiel looked around, noticing that the walls were wood-paneled, before his eyes landed on the heavy wooden door across from him. There were about six types of locks installed on it, possibly bolted shut at the moment. He wondered if it would be possible to leave without making sounds of it.

But there was no way of knowing, as Sam suddenly stand up and it caught Castiel's attention. The priest stepped back out of reflex when he walked past him for the door. The quick fluid movement was evident as he unlocked all the bolts within a few seconds and opened the door. "That didn't take that long," he commented, just as Dean stepped in.

"It did, you're lucky that some fast food joint was opened 24/7 about twenty miles away," scoffed Dean as he sauntered in, balancing a large bag of food in one arm while holding a cooler with his other hand. Almost instantly, Castiel shuddered at the sight of him and held his breath, though the vampire didn't pay attention as he crossed to the kitchen area and plopped the items onto the rounded table.

"And this....? You actually bought these?" Sam questioned with a raised eyebrow at the cooler. "I thought you said the transfusion bags were just juice boxes for the half-assed vampires."

"Well, you were the one who suggested it, considering that I'm a fucking asshole," huffed Dean. "We got about at least a week's worth, if you want some, but I don't know how long we're gonna keep doing it."

"That's what Castiel asked about...." sighed Sam. Now the older vampire acknowledged the presence of Castiel as he glanced at the frightened priest. It seemed that he had forgotten the fact that he had attacked him a few hours ago, as he frowned with disregard.

"Like I said, let's wait and see," he shrugged, taking off his jacket. "We keep checking on any news on the internet and stuff, sniffing out the crime scene.... If the police believes it to be a human-on-human kidnapping, then the other purebloods won't suspect my shit."

"Wow, that is the smartest thing a vampire leader had ever said," Sam muttered sarcastically.

"It's the smartest I can think of," Dean frowned at him. "Unless you got a better idea...." Sam pursed his lips but exhaled before glancing over at the still standing human.

"Castiel, here.... if you're hungry or whatever...." he offered, opening up the fast food bag and taking out a few burgers. "Geez, Dean, you bought every type of food in here?"

"Well it's supposed to hold him over for the next day when we're sleeping," shrugged his brother. "Not like he can stroll right into Mickey D's to get a Egg Mcmuffin while we're out like a light," he added as he grabbed one and glanced over at Castiel. "Cas, here, dinner...."

"...." Castiel frowned at him and didn't bother to move. Looking at Dean being nonchalant hours after appearing as a fanged monstrosity was much too hard to look over. Dean noticed that and frowned in slight annoyance.

"C'mon, don't you want a burger?" he scoffed, promptly tossing it right at him.

"Ah...!" he gasped in surprise when the burger hit his arm and he flinched from it. He stared at the vampire with utter disbelief, before Sam let out a soft growl.

"Don't throw them at him....!" he huffed.

"Well, he's just standing there looking dumb, what you want me to do?" frowned Dean.

"Not chucking food at him! No wonder he's frightened....!" scowled Sam. "You're just making it worse, Dean. Go sit in a corner somewhere." Dean grumbled out a soft growl and opened up the cooler, taking out a medical transfusion bag filled with chilled dark red blood. Castiel, ignoring the wrapped burger by his feet, noticed what he was holding in his breath and felt his throat throbbing from the pain in his skin. He wondered how he had forgotten that for a moment but he flinched out of his stupor when the vampire brisked past him.

"Then you feed him. You're the one who wants to act like a damn mother hen," he grumbled, plopping onto the couch with his boots placed onto the coffee table. Seeing that this was getting ridiculous, Sam scratched through his head before walking up to the startled priest.

"Castiel...." he frowned, getting his attention as he glanced at the frightened blue eyes. "Accept what we can offer you since we're being generous.... I told you already that there are far worse vampires that wouldn't be so. So go over there.... and eat...." The calm even tone of his voice sounded far more scary than expected, as the rapid beating of his heart proved it to Castiel.

As if possessed, he slowly made himself to the table and sat down. He was right, he would be at the mercy of these monsters in one way or another. He did feel hungry by the smell of the food, but he was still hesitant of relenting to his needs just because the vampires ordered him to eat. Meanwhile, Sam slightly made a face after picking up the thrown burger as he moved around the couch.

"Onions always smelled gross...." he muttered to himself before sitting on the armrest and glanced at his grumpy brother. Dean knew that he was being stared but ignored it while channel-surfing and sipped on the bag. ".... You know what I'm thinking, Dean...." he mumbled very quietly. "This cannot be true.... a human that couldn't be compelled....?"

".... Hmm," Dean nodded, his expression softened at the confounding situation.

"Maybe.... I don't know, even though we agreed on keeping him around, I think we should call up Bobby about this...." Sam suggested. "He should have some answers about it, if there is any...."

"What if he doesn't, Sammy?" mumbled Dean.

"He might, he's more experienced than we are when it comes to vampire/human conflicts," he muttered, unwrapping the food and picking out the tiny white pieces. "Not to mention that he taught us more on our history than.... Dad did...."

"Hmmph...."

".... I won't exactly tell him what had happened, but I'll ask him anyway," sighed Sam. "There might be some reason why Castiel didn't fall under the hypnosis." Dean nodded just slightly, before both of them accutely heard the rustling sound of their 'hostage' picking through the burgers.

"At least he's eating.... you didn't have to go _Mommy Dearest_ on him, you know," mumbled Dean.

"Better than you gnawing on him like a vampiric chew toy," said Sam, peeling back the bun and proceeded to scoop up the ketchup with his finger. Dean took a quick glance at his younger brother licking up the sauce and frowned, wondering how they were related to one another.

"Where can he sleep....?" he wondered.

"The couch, maybe."

"Great...." From having the first prey of the night as well as having a taste of Castiel's blood, he now felt full as he slurped up the last of the blood in the transfusion bag. He then looked behind the couch. The priest had his back turned, but he could hear him nibbling the meal like a timid mouse. It felt awkward that they have a human around now, but with his scent so close, it seemed to lessen the awkwardness. "....You think he might make a run for it once we go to sleep?"

"He wouldn't risk it, we know what he smells like," muttered Sam. "Plus, we're surrounded by the forest. He'd get lost before he could even see the nearest town."

"Well, we won't know unless he dares to try, that's for sure...." Getting to his feet, Dean walked toward the kitchen almost soundlessly. The blood needed to be refrigerated, and the fridge was practically right in front of the captive. As if sensing his presence, Castiel froze as Dean gathered up the bags. The fear was rolling off of him by his scent instantly, but the priest shouldn't worry about being bitten again.

Yet he stared right at his lap, afraid of making eye contact when the vampire walked past him and opened the fridge to stock his food. "Here, Sammy...." said Dean as he tossed one bag at his brother's head. But Sam caught it with ease, not bothering to turn his head to do so.

"I'll drink it later.... Right now, let's wait and see like you said," he muttered.

"Man...." Dean glanced at the human and frowned. The constant fear was getting annoying to him, but being annoyed by a natural human reaction wouldn't fare much. ".... You mind sleeping on the couch, Cas?" he asked the priest, who flinched at being addressed. But he didn't answer, just staring at his lap as his hands holding the half-eaten burger shook. His silence was more than enough to make Dean irritated with a growl. "Great, I love the silence treatment I'm getting.... Let's hope you won't ask for more food then," he huffed.

"Just leave him be, Dean. It's not worth bothering him," muttered Sam.

"Well, you're the one who gave him the veiled threat of other vamps willing to rip him apart if he doesn't comply," frowned Dean as he went back to the couch. Once he was left alone, Castiel breathed out in minor relief. Not even an hour since he woke up, yet the minutes ticked by ever so slowly, not showing any sign of time shifting as he glanced up. The small window above the sink was completely covered by a curtain, with no hint of the outside world. He looked around and noticed that all of the windows were cloaked with heavy curtains.

Vampires were thought to be weak against the sun, yet Dean was able to talk to him during daylight. He wasn't sure how do the monsters behind him process, except knowing that they feed on the blood of humans. He could hear them muttering to each other, obviously about him, and he frowned in disgust. There must be a way out of this.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Scary.... scary...

Glowing unnatural eyes.... Grotesques sharp teeth....

Blood.... so much blood....

The sight of the crying crucifix above him, yet unable to help....

"Ahh....!" Castiel gasped out of his restless sleep with a start, nearly tumbling out of the lumpy couch before he caught himself. His heart thumping harshly as his widened eyes darted around his surrounding. He remembered it now.... He was being held here against his will by those demons. His chest ached from the panicked heartbeats as he looked around the first floor.

It was pretty dark, like the time he woke up last night. But he soon noticed a soft slivers of light around the edges of the curtains. It must be morning, Castiel realized, before looking at the staircase. The vampires must be asleep as expected, but he wasn't sure if he was heard after his startled wake-up call. He sat up, pushing away the spare bedsheet as he groaned.

He couldn't remember how he was able to fall back asleep, but he was sure that Sam was the one who laid him on the furniture and gave him the spare pillow and sheet. As much as he disliked it, but he rather had that taller vampire than Dean to even touch him. He was deceived by him, thinking that he needed help as it was the will of God. But he should have known how disregarding he was about his religion.

He waited in silence for a moment. He didn't hear anything from upstairs, so he slowly stood up. The closest window was near the television and he walked to it and pulled the curtains back. Castiel winced at first at the ray of filtered sunlight before blinking, only to gasp softly at what he saw. The window was really gated, with iron bars barred over it. Not only that, his eyes greeted with a wall of trees and bushes. What does this mean? Was this cabin really in the woods, obscured from civilization?

That would make sense, to bring their human victims here so no one would even know about their fate. Now that the light partially filled up the living room, Castiel glanced around before his eyes landed on the locked door.

"...." The priest inhaled quietly, looking at the staircase warily. He wasn't sure if the monster upstairs would be completely out, but he wouldn't know until he tries. His bare feet carefully padded on the wooden floor, freezing once or twice when he thought he heard a squeak. But nothing was stirring, so he continued, getting closer and closer to the door.

All of the bolts-- some of them appeared advanced, were locked. Cold sweat was tingling over his skin, but Castiel couldn't shake off the anxiety as he stared at the door for a moment. He should do this, he must do this, as he reached for the top lock.

But at the same time, the bolt instantly unlocked itself. Castiel nearly jumped and stumbled back, before hearing all the bolts unlocking itself loudly and quickly. It was the same as last night when Sam did it. And it was Sam, opening the door and walking right in. Wearing sunglasses, the tall vampire glanced to see the startled priest and frowned in surprise.

"I didn't expect you to be awake so early...." he muttered.

".... Y-you went out...?" Castiel muttered weakly with widened eyes.

"Uh, yeah.... I figure that you might need something besides cold burgers," he shrugged, holding up grocery bags in his hands. "It's interesting that the supermarket opens at six, the things you learn as a vampire...." Castiel barely had a chance to blink when Sam had already placed bags on the kitchen table then closed the door. "Let me guess.... you were wondering whether or not you can slip out of here without us knowing, correct?" he asked very nonchalantly as he relocked, and the human instantly felt dread in his gut.

"I-I...."

"Just saying, Castiel.... you wouldn't have a chance, even if you had tried," muttered Sam as he took off his sunglasses. "Dean and I know the scent of you blood, it's imprinted in our mind. We would know where exactly you are in these woods...." His explanation sounded matter-of-factly, but to Castiel it sounded exactly like a threat. He couldn't even escape if he tries. He frightfully watched him going back to the kitchen, with Sam letting out a silent yawn.

"So you would hunt me down....?" he questioned warily.

"No, we would just _find_ you. You'd just die if you get lost in the woods," Sam pointed out. Castiel frowned at that, he just stood there while Sam took out the necessary foodstuff. "Just think it through, Castiel. If you want to get through with this, then I suggest that you don't do crazy shit around us. Unless you rather not be safe...." Castiel felt a lump in throat when he tried to swallow at that 'advice'. His fingers fiddled with the hem of the hooded sweatshirt as he observed how brisk his movements were.

Within the matter of several seconds, most of the food was put away, saved for the loaf of bread and cold cuts, before Sam took out a plate and a knife from the cupboard. "Geez, these hadn't been used since forever...." Sam muttered tiredly. He set aside the knife on the table to wash the plate in the sink, actually unaware of how Castiel was looking at the cutlery.

It was pointy and serrated, deep enough to pierce through the skin. His heartbeats were jumping out of anxiety but the vampire simply wasn't paying attention, possibly thinking that he was still scared. Hesitantly, he walked up to the table and sat down, taking the knife in his hands.

It was a sin to harm or kill a person.... but this one was wasn't even a human, so it wouldn't matter. "I'm not sure how it'll turn out in the next few days, but I might find something about why you can't be compelled," muttered Sam as he finished rinsing out the plate.

".... What does that mean... 'compelled'?" Castiel asked quietly.

"It's like hypnosis, only a certain type of vampires can do that," he replied. "Me and Dean are capable of such a thing.... but you couldn't be compelled by either of us, and it's rather weird to believe it."

"I... see...."

"Don't worry about it, Castiel, compelling is generally harmless on the humans--" Sam nodded as he turned to him, only to find himself grabbing the knife blade the instant the priest slashed at him. Castiel gasped sharply in shock as his widened eyes stared at the tall vampire. If he was in any pain, Sam didn't show it, but he frowned in discomfort before his hazel-green eyes glowed. ".... Seriously?" he muttered through gritted teeth.

Castiel felt his heart stop out of horror. The thought of being ripped to bloody shreds rattled in his mind, as Sam gripped his wrist. "Let go...." he growled lowly and he hastily did so. He was much too frightened to even notice the dark red blood dripping through the man's knuckles. "Shit.... I just warned you about making trouble of yourself," he hissed as he looked at his wounded palm.

"I-I.... I...." Castiel couldn't get the sound out of his constricted throat, petrified of any repercussion he would get from these monsters.

".... The fuck just happened?" The human startled by the alarmed growl behind him before Dean appeared suddenly beside his brother. "Sam--"

"It's nothing, Dean," frowned Sam, staring down his irritated sibling. But Dean's tired eyes were glowing at the minor injury and growled, before glaring at the terrified human.

"The fuck, Cas?" he growled. "Not even twelve hours passed and you tried to gank my brother....?"

"Dean, it's all right," frowned Sam. "It's understandable that he's still scared--"

"But he _hurt_ you," he growled lowly. "Who knows what could happen to you--"

"Dean....! I am fine, I got it under control," huffed Sam. "Look, the wound is superficial, it's not like he stabbed me in the heart." He went back to the sink to wash away the blood but Dean was still irritated as he scratched through his hair.

"I can't fucking believe it..." he sighed, before looking at the priest who was hunched over his lap. The scent of fear from him was overflowing, as he shuddered to the point that the older vampire could hear him snifling. "C-Cas...." he sighed, the angry glow went out now that he felt bad for the human. "Cas, I'm not angry, okay? I just didn't expect you to cut Sam."

"...." Castiel inhaled shakily, he could feel the tears stinging in his clenched eyes. They were right.... he attempted to harm one of them, and now....

".... Let's leave him be, Dean. There's nothing we can do about it," muttered Sam.

"Tch.... Does the cut hurt, Sammy?" sighed Dean.

"It'll heal in a little while," Sam replied. "Right now, I'm just tired...." Castiel didn't hear them walking but suddenly the soft sound of television came on. ".... Come on, Dean. He's not going to do anything all day."

"I know, but.... If Cas were to do that again--"

"He won't. I'm really fine...." sighed Sam. "I doubt he'll do it again if he truly values his life...." After that, Castiel heard nothing else from the two after a while. But he was far too scared to move, not even to look up. There was no way that he could ever leave here. He felt sick, wanting to throw up, but he just hunched over and bit his bottom lip to hold back his bubbled up sobs.

Meanwhile, Dean breathed calmly as he and Sam sat on his bed. The glow in his green-gold eyes were subtle in the dark bedroom as he groaned, taking in the sharp pain in his wrist. "Sammy, you bitch.... I thought you said you were fine," he growled softly, staring at his little brother who was sucking up his blood. Sam glanced at him almost apologetically but continued to drink. ".... You didn't drink much last night. Did you even bother to catch some woodland critters when you went out?"

".... Sorry...." Sam mumbled after letting go of the small wound.

"No, it's my fault, you have to clean up my shit as usual," rumbled Dean. "It's only fair that you feed on me...."

"I only do it when you insist on it.... I told you that I was fine, the cut was very shallow," he muttered. His tongue lapped up the oozing blood until the wound was cleaned, before licking his lips with a satisfied growl. ".... It wasn't Castiel's fault, if you're thinking about it," he sighed and his brother agreed with a shrug.

"He's a flight risk for the moment but I also doubt that he'll calm down within a week," he muttered. "I took him from his hometown and had him holed up in our cabin. Of course he'd act like that. It's like we're that fat chick from _Misery_ to his James Caan when we tried to treat him nice."

"That's a stupid reference...."

"I know."

"Whatever, Dean.... Let's just sleep it off, and then I'll call up Bobby later tonight," nodded Sam as he stood up. "No doubt he'll curse your stupid ass off if I tell the truth."

"Please don't, I'd rather be staked and laid out in the sun than be scolded by him," frowned Dean and his brother smiled at that.

"Don't worry, I won't," he assured, leaving his room. Dean sighed and looked at the wound on his wrist, it was already healing fast. Yawning deeply with his fangs threatening to come out, he laid down on his back and took off his jeans since he had forgotten to do so last night.

"Shit...." He plopped an arm over his closed eyes and scratched just underneath the hem of his boxers. He could still hear him.... the priest was mumbling tearfully in broken prayers. The fearful scent even wafted up to here, and he frowned tiredly. He didn't like this, and he didn't want this to happen either. Maybe he really was in the wrong of wanting him. But his blood tasted so good, so pure it was close to addiction.

But for now, he didn't want to traumatize him any further than he already had.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Castiel drank nothing but water and that was it. He felt like he couldn't eat without a fear of throwing up, as he gazed listlessly at the rambling television. He had rarely watched TV, seeing it as a pointless necessity to have when working for the Lord. But there was nothing much he could do but sit there and watch the news-- mostly full of politics and world events.

Nothing was mentioned about him being missing, however. He sadly wondered how long will it take until the parishioners notice his absence by-- Wait, the day after tomorrow is Sunday, he realized in surprise. Of course by then someone would know. He zoned out the repetitive noises of the TV as he glanced at the staircase. He didn't dare to go up to the second floor, even though he was having the urge to go to the bathroom.

He glanced back at the television, distracting himself when he touched his bandaged neck. The pain was mostly gone but the cause of it was seared in his mind, seeing Dean's charming smile morphing into a snarling sneer at a drop of a hat.

His eyes ached from crying this morning, muttering out verses he could remember from the bible, hoping for some protection from his god. But his thoughts were interrupted by the muffled sound of spraying water. One of his captors was showering, he noticed and he glanced at the window across from him. The sunlight was getting dimmer, meaning that it was close to evening. They would know that he had just sat here on the couch, unable to eat the food they gave him. Would he be punished for that? His need to eat can produce blood, something they would want from him.

While worrying in his mind, he could hear the water turning off but nothing else after that. Castiel could feel his heart beating faster again as he glanced over the couch and waited. He didn't want to be caught off-guard so easily. After a few minutes, he saw Sam walking down the stairs nearly soundlessly and going to the kitchen. The tall vampire obviously just came out of the shower with his hair wet from the water and sporting only a navy-blue sweatpants.

But Sam didn't pay attention to Castiel, his back was turned as he opened the fridge to get some blood. He turned around, his eyes gazed at the package of cold cuts left out on the table but still he didn't look at the priest. But Castiel watched warily, noticing the strange tattoo over the left pectoral.

He couldn't tell but it appeared like a pentagram encircled by a ring of black fire. It almost looked satanic but kept his mouth shut as he looked away and huddled behind the leather cushions. He suspected that Sam might be mad for that attempted attack but that vampire's face was unreadable. Aside from the TV, the only sound he heard from him was the subtle sipping from the blood bag. It was getting too hard to ignore now....

".... You wish to punish me now?" he hesitantly asked in a quiet voice. His question earned him a startled cough from Sam, and Castiel frowned almost in confusion. Was it a mockery on him or something....?

"Uh-- For what....? You only scratched my hand," Sam answered awkwardly.

"I.... I did a horrible thing. I expected to be harmed by you since you're a demon--"

"I'm not a demon, Castiel, all right?" sighed Sam. "And no, I don't want to harm you. It was an understandable action in which I, unfortunately, had to pay the price."

"But...."

"But nothing.... my hand's already healed up after a good sleep. There's nothing for you to be afraid of, Castiel." Castiel said nothing else to reply that. But he squirmed in his seat as he felt the ache in his full bladder. He didn't wish to bother Sam about it, but the vampire let out a slightly exasperated sigh. "If you need to piss, you don't need my permission or Dean's to go to the bathroom," he pointed out and the priest flinched at that.

"S-sorry...." he muttered. "Right, just go or whatever...." Sam shrugged. Castiel warily nodded and got off the couch. Sam seemed preoccupied with his meal to watch him going upstairs, but he was still apprehensive. He glanced down the dark hallway-- two doors on one side and one on the other with an additional one at the end. He couldn't remember which bedroom door was Dean's but he didn't want to think of it and went straight into the bathroom.

He felt a little better after relieving himself, but his pallor was still the same as last night when he looked at his reflection in the mirror. Maybe because he didn't eat anything at all today. After washing his hands, he left the bathroom and glanced at the hallway again. He suddenly noticed that there was a slightly opened door, a second one to his right. Maybe that was Dean's bedroom, before he walked carefully downstairs.

Sure enough, the other vampire was in the kitchen, his green eyes transfixed lazily at the ceiling as he sat by the table. Like Sam, he didn't pay attention to him but his brother nudged him on the shoulder and muttered something to him. ".... Ugh, get off my ass, Sammy," grumbled Dean.

"Dean...." frowned Sam. The older brother grumbled, before taking a fleeting glance at Castiel who was standing nervously by the landing. "Do you really want me to tell Bobby about the kidnapped priest or come up with a lie?"

"Fuck, either way he's gonna kick my ass," scoffed Dean. "Then he'll kick yours for not stopping me."

"I would've, if I had known...." he shrugged. Not wanting to be the center of the subject once again, Castiel cautiously wandered for the couch. "You don't want dinner, Castiel....?" Sam asked him and he froze.

"He hadn't eaten?"

"The bologne had been sitting in the same spot for hours, I've noticed that," Sam answered Dean. But I'm not sure if he's starving himself on purpose."

"Hm, like I said-- James Caan," he clicked his tongue at Castiel, who was still afraid to glance at the two. "Next thing you know, we'll break his ankles with a sledgehammer and feed him expired painkillers."

"Why would vampires need a sledgehammer?"

"You don't know my life," joked Dean with a small smirk when he looked at Sam. But Sam only frowned in disapproval before going to the fridge. "Hey.... I just realized that he might need some clothes of his own. Maybe some spare underwears."

"Later.... But first things first," he sighed, tossing the transfusion bag at his older brother who caught it instantly. He then took out one of the leftover burgers, not really sure what to do with it as he calmly walked up to the couch. He didn't get close to Castiel but left the food on the furniture then stepped away. "Bobby should be at home at the moment, right?"

"Maybe, when the last time we talked to him?" Dean shrugged.

"Just two weeks ago, jerk...." frowned Sam, sitting across from him. He took out his cell phone from his pocket and rapidly dialed the number. The vampires didn't have to wait two rings before someone picked up.

"Hello...." answered a grumpy voice of a middle-aged man.

"Hey, Bobby," greeted Sam.

"Oh geez.... What did Dean do now?" came an instant disgruntled scoff, and Dean frowned at that. "I swear, that boy can't lead an army of fangers without tripping on his own two feet--"

"He does realize that I can hear him, right?" huffed Dean. "It's not even on fucking speaker...."

"W-wait, Bobby, it's not what you think," Sam grinned nervously.

"Was Dean involved in this?" asked the man.

"Uhh.... sort of..."

"And what was that? For a freaking pureblood, it's like he is asking for a paddling every time he screws up."

"Oh my-- I didn't do anything wrong, Bobby...." groaned Dean but his little brother put up a wry smile.

"It's not that he messed up, Bobby.... but something strange happened to him last night," he said. "We were just wondering if you know anything about it. If it had happened before."

"Hm, what's that?"

"Well...." Sam muttered, glancing at Castiel but he wasn't standing anymore. Apparently, the human hid in the couch, not wanting to be seen. "Dean tried to compel a guy, staring straight into his eyes. But...."

"Yeah?"

"The guy wasn't affected, at all," he answered, hearing a surprised grunt.

"How's that possible?" questioned Bobby.

"That's why we called you, Bobby," nodded Sam. "You must have something among your books. If it's possible that there are humans that couldn't be compelled...."

"Jesus Christ, this is something.... What happened to that guy? Dean attacked him or something?" he asked, and Sam smiled awkwardly as he glanced at Dean who grumbled at that.

"Nope.... Dean ran off before the guy got a good look at him," he answered straightfowardly. It seemed that Bobby took the lie fairly well with a simple grunt.

"This is something, all right," he mumbled. "With so many folklores and myths about vampires, there's gotta be a hint of truth about that situation. But I'll find something out, Sam."

"Yeah, thanks a lot, Bobby," smiled Sam.

"And you better tell your idjit of a brother to stop stalking around like he's some goddamn creeper....! I heard about those missing girls over there, and I'ma kick his ass if he does it again!" Sam snorted out a barely concealed chuckle while Dean made an annoyed whine.

"I'll keep that in mind, Bobby," he grinned. "Talk to you later...." Hanging up his phone, he chuckled again much to the other vampire's utter annoyance.

"I knew he was gonna chew my ass over it....!" huffed Dean.

"You have yourself to blame, Dean, just like you said," smiled Sam but his expression sobered up as he glanced at the couch. "Bobby's research may take a few days, or maybe.... a few weeks," he added quietly with uncertainty. "Which means that Castiel might have to stay with us longer."

"Peachy...." Dean scoffed, finally starting to drink the blood.

"Uh-huh, about as peachy as your idea of feeding on an off-limit human," shrugged Sam before getting up. "Since you're on a self-imposed lockdown, I'm gonna run an errand for our 'guest'. Just.... keep it to yourself for a while. Don't scare him enough as you already have."

"But I won't do anything as long as I got my beer and blood bags," he argued.

"If you say so...." Sam disappeared for upstairs, while Dean sipped his liquid meal. When drinking blood this way, his eyes rarely glowed. It usually because it took out the instinctive joy of feeding off live animals or humans for that matter. Barely three minutes had went by before Sam came back down fully clothed. "You'll be on your best behavior, Dean?" he asked.

"Yes, Mom...." grumbled Dean. Sam sighed but he left the cabin within a second, followed by a quick sounds of bolts relocking. The only thing left to hear was the informative sounds from the television. But Dean could hear the shuddering breath from Castiel, and the scent of fear increased again. This was getting ridiculous. He wanted to get this over with but this human was making things difficult. Finishing up the bag, he sighed deeply and got up.

He wanted to watch TV but the human was right there. But there must be a way to approach this, as he cleared his throat. "Um, Cas....?" he muttered, hearing Castiel's breathing hitched in fright. "I was just wondering.... if, um, I can watch some TV for a while," he suggested. "You know, until Sam comes back....."

"...."

"So, is that a yes or a no?" Dean asked. Castiel didn't reply to him. As a matter of fact, he had been talking to Sam this whole time albeit with fearful anxiety and the whole slashing incident. That annoyed him, but he shook it off as he carefully walked up to the couch. "Cas, answer me...." he requested.

".... Wh-what good would it do....?" mumbled Castiel, mildly surprising Dean. "I am your hostage, after all...."

"I didn't wanna take you as a hostage, quite honestly," he frowned. "I thought I would just muddle up your mind after drinking your blood...."

".... That doesn't make me feel better.... You took advantage of my good will and destroyed my faith...." he muttered somberly. "You think.... making nice to me after what you've done.... would make it up....?" At that, Dean frowned and rubbed the back of his neck. Guess he wasn't the most subtle of even the most social vampires, not that he could help it.

"It's not like I really wanted to hurt you--"

"You did.... you are nothing but a spawn of the Devil, bound to taint the souls of the innocence," Castiel cut him off, his anxious voice becoming bolder yet he stared ahead at the TV. "You mentioned that you don't believe in faith, thinking that God doesn't truly exist.... Only a demon would dare to say such a thing...."

"Uh, you do realize that some humans are Atheists, right?"

"Their souls can be saved, not _yours_.... If God can find a way to get me out of this, I'd be glad to be rid of you," he frowned deeply. Dean just frowned. Despite of his pure-tasting blood, he was starting to see why priests were off-limits. With a deep huff, he paced around the furniture and plopped himself down. Now Castiel looked at him in surprise, but then it shifted into a renewed glare as Dean frowned back at him.

"You know, Cas, I do wanna act nice. I am trying to," he pointed out. "But remember what Sam said to you.... You don't wanna piss us off on purpose just because you're Mister Holy Roller."

".... Don't address me as if we're friends," frowned Castiel with his blue eyes narrowed at the vampire. "I truly thought I was doing God's work when I found you injured, and you repaid me with bloodlust. Are you happy with yourself for doing such a thing....?"

".... I wasn't lying when I wanted to thank you for helping me that night, Cas," Dean muttered but the priest shook his head. "I wouldn't joke about that, I really was in deep shit and you helped me even though I didn't need it. You did a good deed, and that's just it, just because you're a fucking priest. It's true that I'm a 'monster' who craved blood but I've never killed anyone in order to drink it."

"Really now.... You left me alive so it would make sense...." he muttered rather bitterly. "It would only make sense to do so since you can keep taking my blood..."

"Is that right....?" frowned Dean, his voice coming out as a low growl.

"Of course it's right, you monster--" Two seconds later, Castiel found himself being pinned down into the couch cushions, with the vampire holding down his arms firmly. As much as he felt fear rising up in him, he boldly glared at the glowing green-gold eyes as breathed heavily. ".... Do what you will, I know that God will save me while He strikes you down when the time comes...." he muttered lowly.

"You know.... I liked you better when you were an awkward little priest, Padre," growled Dean. "To act like this, you think you have the balls against someone like me. But I do know one thing.... I'm pretty much cute and cuddly compare to my baby brother. There was a reason why I was alarmed when I smelled his blood this morning."

"What are you saying....?"

"He may be doing everybody here a favor and acting like Mother Superior.... but if you dare to piss him off, there's no guarantee that you will come out without a scratch...." he growled. Castiel frowned in disbelief. In a way, Sam had been acting nice and careful around him. Yet seeing how Dean acted over a shallow cut was alarming, how he was overreacting while the taller one kept insisting that he was okay.

".... Is he worse than you....?" he muttered warily.

".... It's better that you don't find out soon, Cas," frowned Dean. "If anything, you'd be glad if I can protect you from one of his little temper tantrums. That's why he warned you of not doing anything rash, yet you practically shanked him this morning." Seeing his expression darkened, Castiel felt his heartbeats going faster. He wasn't sure who he should be afraid of more now, yet it didn't mean that he felt better after everything Dean had put him through.

"Now's that settled, you'll be on your best behavior....?" huffed Dean. "Or do we have to take a little stroll down Stephen King's memory lane and reenact on one of my favorite scenes in _Misery_....?"

".... Fine...." Castiel relented. The next thing he knew, Dean let go of him and sat back, relaxing into the cushions as he flipped the remote in his hand. It was as if he didn't threaten the priest a moment ago, as Castiel felt his heart beating fast again. Even the dull pain in his neck was aching once more. But still, he must find something to escape from them.

For now.... he should act as rationally as possible, staring thoughtfully at his lap while his kidnapper flipped through the channels before stopping with a content grunt. "Damn, I missed the first three minutes of _Dr. Sexy_.... hope I didn't miss too much of it," he sighed.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review.

I'll update ASAP!


	3. Scriptures

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 3- Scriptures**

This coming weekend could be rather.... difficult, in Castiel's opinion. There was nothing he could do to feel comfortable, or in a better term, content, around the vampire brothers who were holding him here. Especially Dean, who thought it was a good idea to chuck a cold leftover burger at him. "Come on and eat, Supersize Me, or Sammy will get mad at me," he joked before tossing another one. "I swear, it's like remembering to feed a dog...."

Castiel wanted to retort but remembered his warning of displeasing them and complied in disgruntlement. And when Sam finally came home after two hours of taking his time, his brother then proceeded to chuck a package of underwears at the priest much to his dismay. "See? Got you tighty-whiteys as promised!"

"Damn it, Dean, quit acting like an asshole....!" scoffed Sam.

"What? I'd rather not have him bumming around in our cabin every day...." The next hour was even more discomforting, when the brothers had a.... particular discussion over pop cultures he was sure that it sounded like it was from a different world. About which pop star was attractive enough to bang after having kids.

He wanted to blank them out, wishing that he could pretend that they're weren't right behind him. He got a mental sigh of relief when he glanced up to see that they were gone, hearing the sound of spraying waters above him soon afterwards. It must be Dean. Castiel sighed, there was nothing he could much but sit on the couch and watched the news network, though it were still the same repetitive reports.

But as he watched, his mind wandered. Other than Dean and Sam.... were there any other vampires around, residing in America? And how many of them living among the human population? There were more things that popped up, about calling themselves purebloods and Dean being a leader of some sort. Were there different types of vampires, like subspecies of demons or something? The more he thought about it, the more unsettling it felt in his gut.

There was no way that there could be more monsters like them exist. ".... Padre, mind if I watch the boob tube again?" Castiel flinched in surprise when Dean plopped himself on the couch. Clad in an old T-shirt and gym shorts, he placed three bottles of beer on the coffee table with one in his hand.

"Uh.... do what you wish...." he muttered.

"Whatever...." With his sharp teeth, he ripped off the top and chugged the alcohol. "Noticed that you've been watching the news, but CNN wouldn't have anything about a missing priest," he muttered, flipping the channels.

"Uh--"

"Add to that, Sam skimmed through the newspapers and just recently googled any remote mention of you from your hometown. But, uh, nothing so far...."

".... Why must you know?" Castiel questioned and Dean blinked at that.

"We're hoping that your disappearance doesn't track back to us, to the vampire world," he shrugged. "To be frank, we're not allowed to attack priests and clergymen.... Sort of a series of laws we got on ourselves. And I, well, did a carnal sin and wanted to drink your blood-- no pun intended." Castiel squinted his eyes at him in slight confusion. So even bloodthirsty monsters could have civilized rules.

".... Wh-why.... would you break your own law?" he asked. "Why are priests off limits to you mon-- I mean, to you?"

"It's obvious, isn't it? It's not just the bible-thumping preachers to stay away from," he muttered. "All religions based in different cultures have their interpretations of us blood-sucking monsters-- we're not allowed to breach through any church, temple, mosque, for prey at all...."

"And yet you came for me...." mumbled Castiel. Dean barely nodded, taking two gulps before finally landed on a movie channel.

"Because you smell good," he replied simply.

"Wh-what....?!" Castiel was taken aback by his answers with his widened eyes glaring at him. "You attacked me and drank my blood.... just because I smell good to you....?"

"Yep, your blood tasted so good that I'm surprised at myself that I didn't attempt it again," he shrugged, but that didn't help the priest as he exhaled in disbelief.

"Then what's stopping you?" he frowned.

"I did mention that I didn't want you walking around my place smelling like roadkill, your scent's not so great at the moment," muttered Dean, taking a glance at him. "And if you think you can wallow in your own shit to prevent me from taking your blood, think again. I'll hose you down out in the back if I need to." Castiel could only frown but he didn't move from his spot on the couch, he hadn't after the past few hours ever since Dean warned him of Sam's true personality behind his hospitable facade.

It was something that he didn't wish to truly know, even though the younger vampire had been trying to help him. ".... Your bandage needs to change anyway," Dean pointed out, opening up another bottle. "I'm sure Sam can help out with that. The bite mark should be better by now." At the mention of it, Castiel had the urge to touch his neck but resisted.

"Is that right....?"

"Yeah, he got you toiletries and other shit on the table," he nodded. "Hurry up and get cleaned, Padre. Sam can get a better look at that bite mark afterwards." It sounded like a suggestion, but it felt like an order nonetheless, as Castiel reluctantly stood up and walked into the kitchen. In the bags, a variety of toiletries was available for his needs. He couldn't help but feel a little grateful-- he was good honest Christian after all. Alongside the packaged underwear he was tossed at earlier, he picked up a brand new T-shirt, a spare towel, an unscented bar of soap, and a toothbrush.

He glanced at the couch, but Dean was too busy watching TV. Just to be safe, he had his one eye on the vampire as he walked upstairs and went into the bathroom. The air felt warm and damp from the recent shower, but that was the least of his concerns as he placed the stuff onto the countertop and took off the sweatshirt and T-shirt. Hesitantly, he reached up and touched the bandage on his neck, feeling for the seam to take it off.

"Ahh...." He found it and carefully ripped it off, wincing when the cottony gauze got peeled off from his wound before it finally came off. Disgusting dried blood stained on it, before Castiel observed the condition in the mirror. The bruise around the wound faded into a greenish color.... but it looked grotesque, with the flesh slowly healing the punctured marks. Sam mentioned that the bite wasn't too deep, but it was disgusting just the same.

For now, he took off the rest of his clothing and stepped into the small bathtub. It wasn't that hard to figure out how to work the shower with three knobs, as he felt the warm water gushing over his head. It felt good, he had to admit, but the soreness came back when he began washing over the wound.

Twenty-four hours ago, he wouldn't have thought that he would be imprisoned by an once-fabled monster. Before, he was only thinking about which passage to discuss about during the upcoming Sunday service. He just thought that he would live his simple normal life just working for the Lord.

"Please, Lord.... find me the way out of this...." he muttered quietly, scrubbing his hair under the spraying water. "Protect my soul from the evil that wishes to harm me.... especially from the ones that takes the form of humans here. Like ravenous wolves clad in sheep's clothing...." Bleary blue eyes stared at the soapy water going down the drain, as he took a deep breath. An entire day went by, and yet he had went through an emotional roller coaster and it took a toll on him. But he must be strong, he cannot falter now.

".... I must get through this, no matter how long...." he mumbled. "The Holy Son can go through forty days, I can go just as far...." He rinsed out his hair one more time, staying under the water for several more minutes before finally taking it off. He then stepped out of the tub, taking the spare towel to dry his face and body. Even the wound on his neck felt clean, but with each mention of it, he could swear that it aches.

Maybe it reminded him of the frightening attack he had to endure. And yet Dean shrugged it off, like it was normal for a monster like him. After drying off, he then put on the new clothes. He wondered if he can put back on his black slacks, when he suddenly heard a soft knock on the closed door and flinched in surprise.

"Hey, Castiel.... are you done changing....?" Sam muttered.

"Uh.... Yes....?" frowned Castiel, feeling cautious of answering.

"Can I come in? You know, to look at your injury....?"

"Um, y-yes.... of course...." He shuddered a little when Sam opened the door and walked in. The hazel-green eyes zoned in on the bite mark for a moment before the vampire opened the medicine cabinet.

"I know, it's kinda ugly, huh?" he muttered, taking out a pack of gauze. "Usually, the compelled victims would think a bite like that was caused by an animal attack.... They wouldn't think much of it besides that. Uh, sit down for a moment, please?"

"Oh...." Castiel sat down on the closed toilet seat before Sam stepped up to him. He couldn't help that his heart was beating a little faster, his mind going back to the warning of the taller brother having a darker side. Yet Sam was acting gentle toward him right now, carefully leaning down to wrap the bandage around his neck.

".... I've been searching the local and statewide news online," sighed Sam, catching the priest's attention. "It's too soon to tell.... Only Friday had passed, but around the weekend, someone might get suspicious of your disappearance. After all, you're a priest."

Hearing that, Castiel frowned grimly. He was told just moments earlier that they were waiting for any sign of him being missing as a human crime. ".... Is it common that vampires sneak into one's place to feed on them?" he questioned quietly.

"Not since the invention of cars...." Sam joked lightly before clearing his throat. "I mean, certain vampires used to do that for centuries, including.... purebloods.... before the modern times made most human more sensible. Or ignorant, considering the addiction of technology." There was that word again. The purebloods.... That doesn't make any sense.

"Are.... these purebloods, they're a different kind of vampires, correct...?" he asked. Sam frowned, finishing up the wrapping before stepping away and straightening his back.

"Listen, Castiel.... to be honest, it'd be best that you know very little about us," he sighed deeply as he glanced at him. "Humans cannot know that we existed, at all. And with you who couldn't be compelled, we cannot take that risk."

".... It's n-not like I will tell anyone--"

"Yeah, I know that," nodded Sam. "But again, we can't risk being discovered. It'd be a mass hysteria if the rest of the world were to know. In your words.... it would be apocalyptic." That left a sour feeling in Castiel's stomach as his eyes widened in shock. That wouldn't sound right, having countless lives lost and countries rip apart in constant wars of humans against vampires.

"I.... I understand, I won't tell...." he nodded.

"Geez, Castiel, it's not like it'll happen anytime soon," Sam frowned awkwardly. "I'm only suggesting that you don't ask so many questions, that's all."

"Right...."

"Okay.... If you wish to go to bed, I'll ask Dean to go away," he sighed, turning to leave. "He won't make a fuss, I'm sure of it...."

".... Th-thank you...." muttered Castiel. Sam paused and looked back at the man. His eyebrows raised with surprise, before putting up a small smile at the grateful comment.

"Yeah, you're welcome, Castiel," he grinned lightly, leaving him alone as he walked downstairs. It was obvious that the conversation was heard, as his older brother frowned at him. Dean grumbled under his breath, nursing on his third beer though Sam chuckled a little. "What's wrong, Dean? What got your panties in a bunch?" he smiled as he walked up to the couch.

"Oh, shut up.... I get it, Cas hates my ass while you get a gold star," he scoffed, shutting off the TV. "How's he really feeling, though? The bite mark's healing up well?"

"It's less gross than last night, if that's what you're thinking," he shrugged.

"Hmm..."

"Are you really that concerned, Dean, or is it a bit like guilt because Castiel's with us?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Dean frowned at him, taking a long gulp of his beer, before letting out a short burp. "Good answer...."

"What do you want me to say? I can't feel guilty of acting like a vampire, I need to eat," huffed Dean. "That's like saying every carnivores should feel guilty of eating their prey whole."

"You can choose which prey to feed on, but you chose the one that shouldn't be on your agenda," sighed Sam. Dean wanted to roll his eyes at his brother, but instead he glanced ahead. Deep down, he knew he made a mistake. He was pulling his brother into his mess, and Sam was cleaning up behind him as usual. Even now, the tall vampire was picking up the empty beer bottles and burger wrappers around him in record time.

He didn't really like this. He was supposed to be a leader in his territory, and a powerful pureblood at that. ".... Listen, Sammy, just keep checking up on the web, okay?" he sighed. "Maybe, tomorrow, I'll go check out what's going on over there."

"Are you sure....? There's a good chance someone over there might recognize you," muttered Sam.

"Ugh, as if humans got enough brain cells to notice me, when they got their own shit to worry about," shrugged Dean. Taking his last bottle, he got up and let out a bored yawn. "Since I can't really go out to be a creeper, I'll just go on my own laptop to do a different kind of creeping," he sighed.

"That.... doesn't sound right in any way," frowned Sam, though Dean smirked a little as he moved for upstairs.

"C'mon, you mean you haven't seen the freakiest shit on your computer?"

"No, because I'm not an absolute perv like you who often leaves the laptop volume on high on purpose," he deadpanned at him. "Which reminds me, thanks for traumatizing me a couple of weeks back by the sound of that threesome with the two guys."

"You're welcome, baby brother...." grinned Dean. He walked upstairs and noticed that Castiel was still in the bathroom. He could hear him brush his teeth but that was just it, as he then strolled to his dark bedroom. He didn't need to put on the light since his eyesight was a lot sharper, with his green-gold eyes instantly glowing as he looked around. His bedroom was simple and basic, not much decoration saved for a few framed pictures on his desk on the left side of the room. They were a few things that he cherished, since parts of his good memory had been taken away from him a long time ago....

He saw his laptop over there and reached to get it. It was going to be a long boring night, no doubt about it.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Castiel was able to sleep well, albeit with the reassuring prayers he gave himself the night before, but when he woke up he realized that it was close to the afternoon. He found that out when he saw the time on the cable box atop of the television. Just after one-thirty. He laid on the couch for a moment, taking in the darkness and the quiet. Meaning that the vampires must be asleep right now. It felt oddly calm but it didn't mean that he couldn't let his guard down.

He got up, folding up the spare sheet, before going to the kitchen. He took a brief glance at the locked door but looked away. He had to be on his best behavior, like Dean said. He quietly searched the fridge and was mildly surprised to see the necessity for him to eat. The loaf of bread had been left on the counter, and next to it was a package of disposable plastic cutlery. Probably for his own sake, he wondered.

Throughout his movements and soft noises, the vampires hadn't stirred. Meaning that he should feel safe for the time being. But he didn't really, sitting in the kitchen in complete silence while eating a sandwich. He couldn't really help but wonder about the consequences should the public knew about vampires. He wasn't completely ignorant of pop cultures, in the past few years he had noticed young teenagers being fascinated by the monsters portrayed by glamorous Hollywood stars, especially girls who think being bitten would be a better feeling than engaging in unsafe premarital sex.

He would think otherwise, as he subconsciously rubbed at his bandaged neck. The soreness was deep inside the muscles if he pressed it hard enough. He frowned lightly, he wasn't sure what to do around here. He would simply watch the news; there was no particular show that he would like, and he doesn't see any reading material lying around. And even there was any, it wouldn't catch his interest either way.

So now what, were he supposed to sit here quietly until evening sets....?

"...." Castiel's mind wandered back to the warning Sam gave him, about the secretive world of vampires. He didn't have an exact clue of how they were different from the fictional ones. Though he was raised in a strict Catholic family, he only knew a bit from the old movies. The only thing proven false was their vulnerability against the sun, although he had noticed that the brothers would wear sunglasses when going out.

And from what he had seen, they can consume alcohol but he never noticed them eating regular food. He wanted to know, he was mildly curious about it, but he dashed it away. Sam told him that the less he knows the better. But for whose sake, his own or his captors....?

Suddenly, a loud thump was heard above him and he flinched. What was that? "Son of a bitch! Fuck....!" Dean yelled out in pain. "Ow....!"

"Huh...?" Castiel blinked in confusion before he heard a door upstairs opening.

"Dean, you're all right....?" Sam mumbled tiredly.

"I fell on my fucking head, of course I ain't all right....!" scowled Dean.

"I keep telling you to sleep in the center, we both know you flop around in your sleep...."

"Shut it.... go back to bed, Sammy...."

Silence soon followed and Castiel frowned a little. Their interaction was odd, but it was almost like how any other siblings would act. Then again they were brothers, but something else popped up in the priest's mind. If they were truly brothers, then they might have a family, like parents.... who must be like them. Another question he would wish to ask but couldn't.

"Cas....? You've been sitting in the dark all this time....?" He glanced up to see Dean lazily walking down the stairs. With all of the curtains covering the windows, his eyes gave off the subtle natural glow as he noticed him sitting by the table. Castiel couldn't really tell, but it appeared that he had injured his head as he saw dark stain by his hairline.

".... You're bleeding...." he pointed out. Dean smirked lightly and touched the small cut.

"Heh, I had an awesome dream and got too excited, that's why I fell off the bed," he shrugged. He then licked his blood-stained finger with a soft growl as he walked up to the TV. "So.... you just gonna sit on your ass in complete silence, Cas? It's not like you can wake us up if the sound's low enough," he muttered, putting on the device.

".... I wouldn't know what to watch," admitted Castiel.

"Well.... I recommend _Law and Order_ since it's on a marathon as usual. Here...." he yawned deeply. He glanced over at the priest who warily stared back, before strolling up to him. His throat suddenly tightened with instinctive need, now that he could smell the clean natural scent on him. He couldn't really describe it, even from the first time he had smelled it, but it was something. But he held it back with a dry swallow as he moved past him for the sink.

"Ugh, now that I'm awake.... I guess I should do a little search engine while the sun's out," he muttered, cleaning the cut with the running water.

"B-but.... it's the afternoon," Castiel frowned in slight confusion.

"Chance of rain for half the state, that's good enough...." Dean grinned tiredly. "Sucks to be the vamps living around in Alberquerque, at least I got lucky."

".... So there are more like you...?"

".... Uh, yeah, bits and pieces around the country," nodded Dean as he took off the water. The cut was already gone, as if there was no damage. "I highly doubt there are those living in kick-ass Hawaii-- it's more of _30 Days of Night_ than tropical paradise when it comes to locations."

"Uh-- I don't get--"

"You know, that comic where it-- oh, right, shit...." Dean realized with a light frown. "I've heard, or overheard about Sam telling you not to ask so much questions. Not that I could help it, answering if you're curious about it."

"Oh.... yes, I understand...." Castiel frowned grimly.

"But.... if this shit takes longer than expected, no doubt that you'll know too much about us and that ain't gonna be pretty," he sighed. That made Castiel uneasy, wondering if this vampire meant about the dire consequences like how Sam had warned him. "Hey, there's nothing to worry about, Cas. I pretty doubt you can do anything but sit there," shrugged Dean.

".... Yes, that much is true," understood Castiel.

"Well, nice to see the good ol' awkward padre," he smirked lightly. "But I also like it when you were mouthy toward me last night. It was actually kinda hot, I gotta admit...."

"Huh....?" The priest blinked at him, before remembering Dean's sexual preference. That he had both female and male partners in the past. "Oh...." he frowned in embarrassment, feeling the blush tingling in his cheeks and ears as he glanced away.

"Hey, you should be flattered that you're getting a compliment," he chuckled.

"Not from another man, that's.... immoral," frowned Castiel.

"Well, since I'm a spawn of Satan like you said, my immorality's good enough for me," he grinned. "Let's see.... about four hours until the moon starts howling, I'm sure I can reach town and back by then," he pondered, before suddenly disappeared. That made Castiel flinch and frown in dismay. That otherworldly action was too hard to ignore.

Sighing, he finally got up and walked into the living room. The cop show does seem interesting, with the woman detective comforting a child who had witnessed a murder at one scene. As soon as he sat down, he suddenly heard the door being unlocked and opened. "I'll come back with news, Cas," Dean called out. "Good and/or bad. Hopefully good...."

Castiel didn't respond, or couldn't able to since Dean was gone within two seconds. Not sure what else to think of it, he turned his attention back to the television, for once the dull pain in his neck wasn't aching at the moment.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It was drizzling in Great Falls, the smell of rain intensified the scent of everything else. It made Dean's nose wrinkled in discomfort but said nothing, casually strolling down the street. Through his aviator sunglasses, he observed for any sign of cop cars. Last night, Sam warned him of being careful about being seen, since he wasn't a local. But this town was big enough to not know everybody, so he can slip through just fine.

The small church was a few blocks away, he didn't want to make it too suspicious of going straight right in. Taking his mind off the rain-enhanced stench, he thought about Castiel's alluring natural scent. To the vampires, how a human's blood will taste like often depend on their scent. Because of that, Dean was pretty picky over his prey, going for the pretty ones with the sweeter scents on girls and nice tangy ones on guys.

But Castiel was neither, which made it even more interesting. Dean wasn't sure if it had to do with him being a virgin, but the memory of tasting his blood was much too hard to ignore. He hadn't fed yet, and the priest was so close to his range earlier. But he could hold in his hunger for a while longer, now that he was a block down from the church.

"Well, I'll be damned...." he sighed in surprise. With his sharper vision, he could see police tapes wrapped over the corroded iron gates. There were no cop cars around but it must mean that they had already done their work and left. He slowed his pace, his glowing eyes flickered for any way to sneak in. But he couldn't since it was somewhat daytime and he must return to the cabin by nightfall. That couldn't be good. An elderly lady with a shawl over his head walked with a walking cane by but paused to glance at the taped up church and clicked her tongue in disbelief.

"It's a shame, isn't it....?" she mumbled, catching Dean's attention.

"Yeah.... Wonder why a church here got like this, like something straight outta _CSI_ ," he shrugged.

"You haven't heard?"

"Sorry, what happened here....?" he asked politely.

"Well.... that young priest, Father Novak, he seemed to have gone missing," she nodded. "I don't know much of the details, but it believed that it happened around yesterday morning. Someone noticed the side door was left wide open and called the police."

"Oh really....?" Dean nodded, though his mind flipped on borderline concern. Crap, he had forgotten to close the door that night. He was too busy rushing Castiel out of there when his prey was going into a mental shock. "Did the cops mention what they found in there?"

"Not that I know of, young man, no...." the old woman shook her head. "But.... from the gossip I've heard-- I often come to this church-- it was believed that Father Novak was attacked. I mean, it seems obvious, possibly a burglar who didn't know that he was still in the church. He likes to work late, I know."

"Is that right....?" Dean sighed.

"Well.... I hope he'd be found soon enough. The Lord might protect him should anything happens to him...."

"Right, that's good to know," he grinned slightly with a nod. "Thanks for the info...." He walked away, his mind trying to get ahold of what he had done exactly on that night. He reacted purely on instinct despite of drinking blood beforehand to hinder himself. But it didn't work either way.... He knew that he ripped Castiel's white collar off and practically gave him a hickey before sinking his teeth in.

But, he was careful enough not to leave fingerprints when he broke in, having his fists in his pockets before cornering him. Crossing the street, he took a glance at the church and frowned slightly. He wondered if he should text Sam about what he had found, maybe to ask him to search the web again just in case. Then, when he gets home, they should discuss about what could be their next move regarding Castiel.

Just as he was about to take his phone out, he felt it vibrate and blinked in surprise. "Speak of the devil...." he muttered as he checked the caller ID. "Sammy, I was just thinking about you, Sweet Cheeks," he chuckled after answering it.

"Great.... where are you?" Sam mumbled, still groggy with sleep as he struggled to speak.

"I did say I'd go to Cas' town to check out the church.... and it turned out that Five-O had already searched it over," he sighed as he resumed walking.

"What did they find....?"

"It's in the dark, for now," he muttered. "But some sweet old lady believed that it was a burglary gone wrong, thinking that Cas got hurt."

"Well, he did, in a way," Sam sighed tiredly. "But.... if it turned out that way.... it might mean that Castiel's blood is somewhere in that church. You did say that you panicked and fled out with him."

"Fucking shit...." frowned Dean. "All right, I'll come home and take a quick nap. When you're up and ready, search over for any update on the news. We'll figure this shit out."

"Meaning me making sure your ass won't get caught...."

"Something like that, whatever," he shrugged. ".... How's Cas doing?"

"Other than two awkward trips to the bathroom, he's keeping to himself," yawned Sam. "But.... should we tell him about what we might find out, Dean?"

"No, not yet, at least until we got all the eggs in the basket," Dean answered, his lips pursing as he felt his sharper teeth aching to come out. He should have drank a transfusion bag before leaving, but the thought of that priest's brandy-like blood was throbbing in his brain. He wanted it, craving it almost like a drug addict, but he shook his head out of the distraction. "I'll be back in about a half an hour, forty minutes tops."

"Fine...." With that, Sam hanged up and Dean put away his cellphone. It was far too early for human blood, meaning that he has to stake out in the woods for a while. The one thing he knew about, blood of herbivores tasted the same no matter which animal. Like bland tomato soup. It kind of made him wonder how his little brother cope with his diet for so long, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

As he walked for the edge of the town, his phone vibrated again and frowned. Sam must have forgotten about something. But when he checked it, he froze in his movements. If he weren't wearing his sunglasses, everyone could have seen his green-gold eyes glowing in anger and disbelief, as Dean tried to hold in his growl.

"Shit....!"

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Watching shows like these was rather comforting, but Castiel let out a tired sign. Each episode was different yet somewhat repetitive. Either child abuse or a murdered prostitutes. Feeling as if he was developing a headache, he got up and went to the kitchen for some water. But he realized that the cabin was darker, meaning that it was evening already. He hadn't heard any sound from upstairs, and Dean had yet to return.

The vampire mentioned that he would come back before night time but he wasn't sure whether to feel concerned about it. Then again, nobody knows that he was being held here, and if Dean was gone for this long then it meant that he had to be around Sam....

Castiel's frown deepened at the thought of it. Sam had been nothing but helpful and nice toward him, but when the priest saw angry glowing eyes on him yesterday, he couldn't help but feel being at the mercy of these demons. Dean might be right, if the older brother were to be a human he would be considered nothing but a disregarding jerk with a lack of manners or a lack of religion for that matter.

As if sensing it, probably out of the paranoia he still had, Castiel glanced behind his shoulder just as Sam walked down the stairs. Even his eyes glowed in the darkness, though the color of it was different from Dean's. With Dean's eyes were an intense green-gold color, his younger brother had a greenish topaz kind. If he weren't still wary and apprehensive over everything, the priest would be rather enthralled by the luminous glow.

"Castiel....? You've been sitting in the dark all day?" frowned Sam, moving to put on the light. The moment he had done that, the glow instantly went away as he glanced at him.

"I.... I didn't mind...." mumbled Castiel.

"Well, it's not like our light bill's gonna increase with you around. If anything, it should go down without Dean being here," he sighed before frowning again. ".... Did Dean mention anything to you before he left earlier today, Castiel?" he asked.

"Um.... something about searching for news in my hometown," the priest muttered quietly.

"Oh, I see...." nodded Sam. It was too soon to tell him now, as he took out his cellphone and checked. "Well, that idiot hadn't called me for a while, so I don't know what he's doing," he sighed deeply. "So.... are you feeling okay, Castiel?" he muttered.

".... I, uh.... I guess so...." sighed Castiel, and Sam blinked at him.

"If you say so...."

".... I really am," he assured, probably to himself, but the tall vampire simply nodded.

"I get that," he sighed before yawning. He covered his mouth out of courtesy but Castiel managed to see a glimpse of his sharp teeth before Sam quickly turned his attention to the fridge. "Have you eaten yet....?"

"Um, I was about to."

"Yeah.... Wish I could, but Dean's taking too long coming back," sighed Sam, browsing through the transfusion bags. That made Castiel slightly confused. The stocked blood was right there yet Sam didn't really want it, as he finally took out a bottle of tomato juice. "Let's see, excuse me...." he muttered, reaching for a glass near the sink.

"...." Castiel watched him pouring the vegetable juice about halfway before opening the bottom cupboard and taking out what appeared to be a bottle of clear liquor. Sam grumbled to himself as he mixed the liquor in, something about drinking so early before taking a swig.

"Did Dean say that he was returning early?" he asked the perplexed priest.

"I believe so...."

"Hmm...." Sam frowned at that, before he took out his phone. The movement of his thumb was pretty fast as he texted a message and sent it, and just as fast his device buzzed a reply. Whatever it was, it made the younger vampire's expression morphed into a deep and dark frown, and Castiel noticed it. Almost immediately, the thought of seeing his darker persona made him anxious.

".... Castiel, what's wrong? Your heart was steady a second ago," muttered Sam when he glanced at him.

"Um.... no reason," he mumbled, but his heart was saying otherwise as he glanced away.

"Well.... Dean just texted me, saying that he won't be home for another hour or two," he frowned. "So, do you want to keep watching TV? Or, you want to read some books, because I got some in my office. Well, 'some' is an understatement...." he shrugged.

"Oh.... that's fine, with the reading...." nodded Castiel. He calmed down when Sam put up a small smile.

"Great, uh, I'll show you the way, Castiel," he nodded as he walked up the stairs. The human soon followed after him. He saw him going up to the closed door at the end of the hallway and opening it. Sam stepped into the room and put on the desk lamp, gathering up the documents and putting it aside before Castiel walked in. The office was cozy, with the bookshelves covering almost all the walls, with the desk right across from him. He glanced around and saw a variety of literature, some he knew of and other he had no clue about, as Sam picked up his laptop.

".... I wouldn't know where to start...." muttered Castiel, and Sam smirked lightly.

"Well, for starters...." he sighed, moving around rather swiftly as he reached for the top part of one bookshelf. "I got.... Methodist, Lutheran, and King James versions, whichever you're more comfortable with," he muttered as he picked out and tossed three books onto the desk. Castiel blinked at this, before realizing at what he had just said.

"You have.... bibles in your collections?" he muttered in surprise.

"Hm? Yeah, I was curious why the bible has different variations one day and I skimmed through some," said Sam. "Wait, you're Catholic, right? I don't think you wish to read Lutheran--"

"Wh-why....?" muttered Castiel.

"Huh?"

"You're a vampire, thought to be a dark creature of Hell.... yet you acquired bibles simply because you were curious about the Word of God?" he questioned, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at him. Sam seemed to be slightly annoyed at the name-calling but instantly let it go as he simply shrugged.

"Uh, I've always been like this, Castiel," sighed Sam. "I'm a vampire, yeah, but.... I pretty much believe that there's such thing as God. Or any type of god, for that matter, considering certain mythologies." Castiel blinked in utter confusion, but it was coming back to him. When Dean mentioned of having a brother who had a better faith in religion that day.

"You believe in God?"

"Kind of, yeah...." he nodded.

"But.... why....?" he asked, almost out of curiosity.

"Well, I'm not the first vampire to believe so, but I have my reasons," he replied with a nod. "I mean.... God has to create _everything_.... including someone like me and Dean. Although Dean thinks it's pointless to believe in something that doesn't work in our favor. He only thinks that God only cares about those who act high and mighty themselves-- like religious goody-goody, as he would put it."

"But I don't.... I prefer to be humble, just to work for the Lord," Castiel frowned. He glanced at the bibles on the desk, wondering for the moment about which he would read, before nodding. "I thank you.... I didn't think you have such a thing...." he sighed.

"Sure, Castiel," smiled Sam as he was about to leave.

"Uh, King James.... I don't believe I've heard of this variation," muttered Castiel, as he picked it up.

"Oh that.... it was created by an English King who revoked his faith as a Catholic back in the Middle Ages," he responded.

"Why would he do that?"

"Oh.... so he could divorce his wife and marry his pregnant mistress," Sam smiled awkwardly. That made Castiel frown in disapproval but shook his head as he opened it to read. Sam smiled again and closed the door, but his expression shifted as he took out his phone to read his brother's message once again.

_'Emergency meeting. Hunter killed three more.'_

"Shit...." he frowned with disdain. Dean had told him that a hunter came by the other night and killed one of their followers. But that was it, vague but straight to the point. And like before, it was close to their home base by a few counties. Actually, the vampire population in Montana was low, barely over 8,000 under Dean's leadership, so to have the killings happening so close and so quickly was startling enough.

He wanted to go to the meeting and assess the situation, but he wasn't the leader despite being a pureblood. It wasn't his place. Also.... he couldn't leave Castiel here all alone, he realized that as he went downstairs. Ignoring the sounds of the TV, he sat down and started up his computer. No doubt that there must be an update of the priest's disappearance. But as he was typing, his phone buzzed in his pocket.

"Hm...?" Sam took it out and blinked in surprise that it was a call. And it was from someone he had at least expected. He mentally frowned, he didn't want this person to come by with Castiel, but at the same time.... he needed something to do. At least before Dean comes home. Relenting to himself, he finally answered.

".... Hey, Ruby...."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"How the _fuck_ did this happen?!" Sharp teeth bared before Dean scoffed in disbelief. Within the thick woods concealed an old abandoned farm, where the leader paced with such impatience. Only the vampires available within a twenty-mile radius were present, many of them expressing the same reaction as him though Dean was more open about it as he gave a forgotten bucket a swift kick across the ground.

"Fucking hell....!" he growled, his eyes glowing fiercely. "There's not even a lot of us in this state, yet this asshole hunter managed to get three within a night?! Either he's that fucking good, or some of you here managed to do some bullshit to have yourselves exposed in some way....!"

"Dean...." Tessa frowned, catching only a hint of his attention. "Can you calm down for a second? We haven't even told you the exact detail of it yet."

"I know enough," he huffed.

"Idiot, you don't get it...." she frowned. "You can't go off in a senseless slaughter just for this one hunter."

"And it's only just one hunter.... not any other ones so far?" Dean questioned her.

"No.... and I think it's the one who nearly hacked your leg off a couple of nights back. You know, when you told us not to tell Sam?" Dean frowned at that but finally stopped pacing. Of course he wouldn't tell his brother that part when he gave him the news of a hunter killing off one of their kind, it was when he brought the passed out priest to their cabin.

"Is it that trucker-looking guy? Black, with a goatee, something like that?" he asked.

".... From what the others had witnessed, that sounds about right," nodded Tessa.

"Goddamn it...." he growled. "I didn't think he'd be capable of doing shit like this.... Are the bodies burned to avoid suspicion?" he questioned and some of the other vampires replied with either a nod or a confirmed muttering. "Good.... I'll make some calls on my own, no doubt that the other hunters might wanna know that one of their own is acting rogue to the point that he tried to gank a pureblood leader."

"And you do know that by doing so, the others might catch wind of this, Dean," Tessa pointed out, and Dean growled at that.

"Yeah, just my fucking luck...." This couldn't be good.... his followers were being killed off without any provocation at all, and it irritated him. He might have to tell Sam the full truth after relaying the meeting to him. Something that he didn't wish to do, knowing that the younger vampire will freak out, and not in a good way.

"One more thing.... until this thing blows over, make yourself scarce for a while," he ordered. "He's going for the most obvious of us, so try to make your hunts as discreet as possible. And if you come across him, just fucking run away. I don't need anyone else dying on my watch. Is that clear?"

"Yeah, we get that...." nodded Tessa as the other vampires agreed.

"And tell the rest in other counties about the precaution, we'll wait out a week. But if he continues with this shit.... I'll deal with that fucker myself," the pureblood growled lowly before turning to leave. "Go, do it now...." As he left the barn, he checked the time on his phone. The meeting had taken longer than expected, leaving Castiel with Sam for so long. He knew that his little brother couldn't stay on human blood for long, not without his mind going to the bad side.

"Fuck me with a fucking silver stake...." he grumbled, glowing green-gold eyes glared around before he ran off in a blur.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Despite of the slight difference, Castiel finally found comfort of reading the bible. Even it was created out of some king's selfish goals, most of the verses were just like the ones from his own bible. Skimming through the pages, he couldn't help but glance up at the surrounding bookshelves. He was only allowed to read books that wasn't 'condemned' in Catholic schools, so he only recognized the very few that he had read. The some he wasn't allowed to read was also recognized, mostly by the famous names.

Thinking about it, he had never have a chance to read some of Charles Dickens' classics growing up, his strict mother even calling _Oliver Twist_ a tale of a little boy condemning his soul to eternal damnation just from stealing food and money. He frowned.... he hadn't thought much about his mother since becoming a priest. Being an only child, all of the attention was center on him by her and he had disliked it, but he had never had the heart to talk about it.

Being the center of attention had always made him nervous, yet ironically he felt at peace when reading out passages for his parishioners every Sunday. That made him frown even sadder.... Tomorrow was Sunday, and he won't be at his church. His own little safe place.

"Damn...." Castiel muttered out loud, nearly bit his tongue at the minor swear word slipping out like that. He rubbed his tired eyes, trying not to let the worried thoughts get to him. As he breathed calmly, he soon realized that he could hear the muffled sound of television up here. He blinked in slight confusion. In the short amount of time being held here, he had noticed that the noise level from the electronic had always been low, possibly due to the vampire brothers' sharper hearing.

But it sounded very loud, unusually loud through the closed door that he didn't really notice it until right now. That made him frown in confusion, he wasn't really used to rambling distracting noises but he wasn't sure if he should ask Sam about it. That vampire had been nice to him so far, so it wouldn't hurt to ask. Getting up, he felt his stiff bones crack before going to the door.

The noises sounded even louder after opening it, the air seemed to vibrate as he walked down the hallway. It was music, he noticed, but unlike he would know. It sounded like rock music, that was for sure. Pretty brash and atrocious, in his opinion. He sighed, he had never asked a favor out of Sam before so he was still wary. Still, he could try, as he carefully stepped downstairs.

"Um.... excuse me, c-can you please--" he called out when he was three steps away from the landing. But what he saw made him froze out of sheer shock, with his blue eyes widened. Within the couch, he only saw legs sticking out-- a pair which he recognized as Sam's. But there was something that wasn't really right about this. For one thing, the vampire had his jeans off and that article was tossed to the floor.

And another.... he saw a woman's leg hanging over the furniture.

Castiel just stood there in a stunned stupor. He knew what they were doing.... displaying such sinful acts. Yet he felt so embarrassed of seeing such a thing, with his face heating up so quickly at the sight of the sharp bucking movements. He shouldn't be seeing something like this at all, as he turned to rush back upstairs. But he mistepped and stumbled, barely had time to catch himself when he banged his shoulder and ribs.

"Ahh....!" he yelped out in pain.

"Oh....! Oh, shit.... shit!" The priest heard Sam's surprised voice and winced when he attempted to sit up. "Shit! Ruby, put your pants on, quick!" stammered Sam.

"But--"

"Damn it! He saw us, I can't believe this....!" The volume of the television was suddenly turned down, before Castiel heard rushed sounds of ruffled clothes being put back on. "Cas-- ugh, fuck! It isn't what it looks like....!" Thinking that it was now safe to look, Castiel glanced up and frowned in utter embarrassment.

Extremely flustered, Sam groaned as he scratched through his already tousled hair. He only had on his jeans which he didn't bother to zip up for the moment as he turned to his.... own guest who was fixing up her blouse. Compared to him, she appeared rather petite in height, with wavy dark brown hair around her pale face. Frowning in disgruntlement, her reddish-brown eyes narrowed at Sam then at the priest.

".... What the hell, Sam? Why we stop?" she scoffed.

"Why-- he saw us, that's why I stopped, Ruby....!" scoffed Sam, gesturing at the stunned man.

".... So?"

"Well, it's weird to keep on going with him there! At least I have my dignity!" he argued.

"If that's true, then why couldn't we just fuck in your room?" frowned Ruby.

"Because he would hear us, my office is right there--"

"And who is he, for that manner?" Ruby questioned, stepping forward. Castiel shuddered when her own eyes suddenly glowed at him, almost like a bright blood color to it. So there are more of them, he thought with his heart jolting in shock. But Sam suddenly gripped at her shoulder before she could even reach him. "What, Sam?" she frowned at the tall vampire.

"It's none of your concerns, Ruby," frowned Sam.

"Well it kinda is, since he's the reason why we're doing it on the couch," she huffed. "Geez, Sam, I had a feeling you were hiding something when I came by. But I didn't know it'd be a human...." The way she said it, along with a small curious smile, made Castiel shuddered in apprehension. But he couldn't move, mostly from the pain in his side, as he noticed Sam's eyes were also glowing.

"You can't touch him, if that's what you're thinking," he muttered.

"Why? Don't tell me that he-- wait, Dean bought himself a donor?" the Ruby girl questioned in surprise. Her words puzzled Castiel, what did she mean by a donor....? "I can't believe it, that brother of yours got walking juice box. I didn't know he'd relent to it."

"Huh....?" frowned Castiel.

".... Yeah, that's it, Dean bought him just recently," Sam quickly replied, clearing his throat. "He's, uh, a little nervous about the whole deal since he's new to this vampire thing."

"Is that why he spazzed out over our fling a second ago?" scoffed Ruby, flipping back her hair.

"Who wouldn't be freaked out over seeing anybody having sex....?" he sighed. At that, Castiel felt his ears heat up once more and glanced away. He didn't even see much but it was enough to feel really unpleasant. Sam was still embarrassed over it as well, as he rubbed his face and groaned. "I didn't really think he'll come down but--" he grumbled. But he suddenly stiffened, before turning his head to the locked door.

"What?" his girlfriend frowned.

"Shit, he's here already!" he huffed, and Ruby realized his meaning with narrowed eyes.

"I thought he'd be gone for at least two hours--"

"Well, I don't know what happened out there!" huffed Sam, fixing up his jeans just as the quick harsh sounds of the locks twisting. Everybody, including Castiel, flinched by when Dean kicked the door open and stormed right in.

"Sam, I--" His rant halted the instant he saw Ruby who frowned back. Within two seconds, his green-gold eyes flitted to her frumpy attire to his brother's lack thereof, then to the priest slumped on the staircase holding his side. ".... What the fuck just happened here?!" he growled.

"Dean, it's not what it looks like--" Sam tried to explain.

"It looks like you were screwing the pooch, that's what!" he scowled, with his narrowed eyes glowing with anger and annoyance.

"Excuse me, I'm right here!" scoffed Ruby.

"Oh, I'm sorry.... I mean screwing the bitch!" he scoffed before glaring at Sam. "Seriously, Sam? You have her here when we got you-know-who around?!"

"I said it's not what it looks like, Dean....!" scowled the taller vampire. "I mean, yeah, I got Ruby for company but it's just that he walked in and--"

"Walked in? You mean he saw you fucking her-- you were fucking her here?!" Dean scoffed in disbelief. "On.... on my couch, my fucking couch?!"

"Do you have to repeat it twice to hear yourself?" frowned Ruby, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Don't, Ruby--"

"Yeah, shut the fuck up, Ruby! Goddamn it, Sam, you fucked her where I watched TV....?!" he growled at his brother who huffed back.

"You got that couch from the dumpster!" he argued.

"Yeah, that's why it's mine!" The older vampire suddenly rushed in between them and glared down at Ruby who dared to glare back. Castiel saw the figurative angry sparks between the two before Dean glanced at him with a deep frown. "Why is he on the stairs like this, Sam....?" he growled.

"He.... fell...." frowned Sam. "After seeing us, you know...." Dean's expression twisted with disgust and annoyance as he let out a deep growl.

"You know what.... I am really having a bad day, and I wanted to come home and relax," he huffed, his sharp teeth baring as he glared back at Ruby. "And what did I find? My brother leaving his.... DNA all over the damn couch just for a fucking booty call!"

"Damn it, Dean! Just calm down....!" Sam sighed in total exasperation, close to anger himself. "Just tell me what happened earlier--"

"No, not when Lilith's little lapdog is standing right there," growled Dean.

"Hey, I'm right here, you asshole!" snapped Ruby. Dean nearly snarled at her, but Sam stepped right in and bared his own fangs at him. The sight of it was downright frightening to Castiel's widened blue eyes, his body frozen even though he wanted to run away.

Despite being the younger brother, Sam looked like he could take Dean down, his stance tense as he growled challengingly with his hands curling into tight fists. ".... Don't fucking start with me, Sammy," Dean rumbled lowly. "You hadn't fed yet, I can see it in your eyes."

"I had blood--"

"Where? Unless some squirrel wandered in here, you can't hold it down...." he warned him. "Now tell your mixblood girlfriend to leave so we can settle this in private. This is not her business, since I don't want her boss to know my shit." Sam exhaled out a deep growl but not backing down as he glanced very briefly at Ruby.

".... Leave, Ruby, and I mean this state," he growled lowly. He didn't need to compel her but the order was absolute as Ruby stepped back almost warily.

"Fine, Sam.... you know where to find me," she muttered.

"Yeah, not likely," scoffed Dean. Ruby glared at him but said nothing else, turning around to leave. The brothers glared each other again until the door finally closed, but the intense glowing was still in their eyes as Dean growled deeply. "Do you really wanna fight me, Sam....? With Cas seeing you like this?" he questioned him. Sam exhaled deeply and glared for a few more seconds, before finally backing down.

With his heart beating so fast since Dean confronting the other two vampires, Castiel watched Sam pacing around like an enraged pitbull as the taller brother breathed through his nose. He looked back at Dean with apprehension and realized that his body was blocking the landing of the staircase almost protectively. He remembered what he was warned about last night.

This was probably one of Sam's 'tantrums', but he wasn't sure about it. Within four or five minutes, the angry glow in his eyes finally went away. His body relaxed as he soon stopped pacing. But he was still breathing deeply, his sharp teeth gritting tightly. ".... You feel better now, Sammy?" muttered Dean.

".... No. I waited too long, and now it's hard to hold down my hunger," he grumbled.

"Sorry, that fucking meeting took longer than expected," he rumbled, his own body relaxing as he took a deep breath. But Castiel, still frightened over what had happened moments ago, frowned in confusion. There were still transfusion bags in the fridge but Sam didn't want it for some reasons, managing to hold down that tomato juice cocktail he saw him drinking earlier.

"What.... what was the meeting about, Dean?" gritted Sam, his jawline tightened as the glow came back in his eyes. Dean noticed that but saw nothing threatening out of it. Instead, he turned his attention to Castiel who flinched by his unreadable expression.

"You only banged your ribs, Cas?" he muttered.

"Uh.... y-yeah, and my shoulder...." mumbled Castiel.

".... Can you get up?"

"U-um...." The priest wanted to move but he felt his legs shivering. Dean saw his incapable condition and frowned.

".... Hold your breath, Cas."

"Uh--" Castiel felt his breath knocked out of him like kick to the gut, his body tossed up and around within an instant. "Ugh....!" he winced when he was suddenly dumped onto the chair in Sam's office. Grasping his sore shoulder, he glanced up to see Dean leaving.

"Don't open this door...." he rumbled lowly, closing said door. Castiel shuddered, fear rippling inside of him as he stared wide-eyed at the wooden barrier. So he was being left in the dark.... something about a meeting and that vampire woman being a 'mixblood'. How a mixblood different from a pureblood like those brothers....? They were talking about something that he cannot know as an uncompelled human. As much he was afraid, he couldn't help but feel slightly curious.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly calmed himself and waited in the silence. He heard incoherent murmuring, but it was only one voice. He couldn't tell who was talking, however, until that voice stopped after a few moments. Then a few minutes afterwards, both voices started talking, or rather yelling or arguing at one another.

It seemed that Dean was still irritated about that Ruby person being around, though Castiel frowned when he caught his brash choice words consisted of 'bitch' and 'hellhound skank' and 'catching vamp version of STDs'. And those were the safer words compared to the more harsher ones that followed.

But then the voices quieted down, they were still talking but Castiel couldn't hear them. He sighed, the pain in his shoulder and side subsided as he turned his attention to the opened bible on the desk. He needed to remind himself that he must rely on his faith under this circumstance. ".... Cas? Mind if I talk to you for a minute?" He was slightly startled when Dean opened the door and stepped in.

"Uh...." Castiel glanced up and noticed a small stain by the collar of his T-shirt. When Dean stepped closer, he could see that it was a dark red color. It must be....

"Listen, Cas...." sighed Dean. "Sam said that he's very sorry about you having to see him.... doing the call of the wild on the couch. If there's any consolation, you could crash on his bed for the night."

"Oh, uh, w-wouldn't that be troublesome....?" frowned Castiel.

"Do you really wanna sleep where you might need a black light just to make sure?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow and the priest grimaced at that. "Yeah, exactly.... Don't worry, unless Sam jerks off in his sleep, his room's pretty neat and clean. If you wanna go to sleep now, be my guest."

"Well, I-- uh.... I'm kind of feeling hungry at the moment," he nodded. "Hmm, that sucks.... You humans eat those nasty dry granola bars, right?"

"On occasions--" The moment he spoke, the vampire vanished out of his sight and he blinked in startlement. Barely a minute went by before Dean came right back, holding out a package of the snack alongside a can of cola.

"Here.... if you're gonna make a mess on Sam's bed, I don't mind," he sighed.

"It's all right, I--" Castiel paused his words, wondering why he had to explain himself when everything else had happened within the past hour or so. "Um.... m-may I ask a question?" he muttered as he glanced at him in apprehension.

"A question?" frowned Dean.

"That woman....." he muttered, and the vampire groaned in annoyance at that.

"She didn't touch you or anything, did she?"

"No, no.... But.... she called me a donor," he said, seeing Dean's expression twisting into puzzlement.

".... Damn it, that would make sense, with the bandage still on your neck and all," he sighed. At the mention of it, Castiel subconsciously reached and touched his neck, completely forgotten about the covered wound. "Does it need changing, Cas?"

"I.... don't know...." he muttered.

"Mind if I check--" suggested Dean as he stepped close to him. But he caught the quickening sound of the priest's heartbeats as Castiel nearly cringed by the closeness. The memory of the attack was still fresh in his mind, Dean had noticed that and frowned. ".... Would you let me, Cas? I already ate, there's no need to be scared of getting your blood sucked," he muttered.

"B-but...." Castiel felt his body being pinned down by his glowing eyes before the vampire cautiously reached to take off the bandage. Dean felt a rumble in his chest as he saw the slightly greenish wound that was healing nicely. But.... his throat tightened at memory of sinking his teeth to drink up the thick saccharine essence. As much as he wanted it, he sighed deeply as he stepped back.

"Don't think you need to cover it back up," nodded Dean. "Just make sure that you keep it clean, Cas, okay? I'll, uh, just keep on ragging Sam about his not-so courteous action." Castiel barely nodded, his fingers grazing over the slightly sore skin. "All right.... Well, let me know when you want something." But he knew that the priest wouldn't ask anyway, as he glanced at him one more time.

Sighing, he left the office as he rubbed his own neck. Sam had done a number on him, even leaving blood on his shirt. He didn't think his brother's condition would react just from having a couple of bags full of human blood but maybe the stress of having a human around seemed to be a factor of it. That, and him spazzing out over the presence of that mixblood tart also riled up Sam's problems.

"Goddamn it...." he grumbled. After his brother calmed down, he relayed him about the news about this one hunter killing their kind. It was getting serious that even they themselves must be careful. But Sam still needed to eat, as he had already left for the woods. That made Dean frown in worrisome as he rubbed his neck again, his skin already healed over as if it was nothing.

The blood of the pureblood was the strongest of all vampires. It was practically medicinal, the taste of it would give the drinker a placebo effect, making them feel better by the purity of it. Which was why Sam was able to calm down after drinking his brother's blood, as he had always been able to do since they were children. But.... Dean wasn't sure how long he would keep doing this if Sam were to get worse.

But he won't leave him at the mercy of the other purebloods because of his condition, even if he would have to rebel against them himself. He heard the door downstairs unlocking and opening and decided to go down. His eyes caught the sight of his little brother stepping in with a languid pace, but he frowned when he saw the sloppy stain of animal blood over his mouth and down his neck and bare chest. And when he looked at the still glowing eyes, he knew that it hadn't gone down.

".... I'm sorry, Sammy...." he muttered somberly.

"Don't.... If it's about Castiel again, don't apologize," muttered Sam but Dean shook his head.

"No.... I should've kept a better eye on you, gotten bags of animal blood if I knew you would react like this," he rumbled.

"Yeah, because you overreacted when you saw me and Ruby--"

"And you know.... how much I hate that woman, simply because she's working for that bitch who I hate as well," he frowned. Sam growled softly at that but said nothing as Dean walked to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and took out a bottle of beer, obviously sensing Sam standing right behind him. ".... What're you waiting for, Sammy....? It's not like you'll suck me dry, no matter how much you take...."

Opening his beer, he barely faltered when his brother grabbed ahold of his hair and shoulder. Not even the sharp teeth piercing into his skin hadn't stopped him from drinking. Instead, he slowly reached up and petted through the silky chestnut hair.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Sammy...." he muttered consolingly, tuning out the sounds of Sam greedily gulping down his blood. "I got you.... No one's gonna hurt you.... I'm here for you, I'm here...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review. I'll update ASAP!


	4. Loyalty and Wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you know. Even though I've been updating almost on a weekly basis, I probably won't be doing that, as the chapters might slow down possibly to a monthly update, depending on the plotline or writer's block. Just giving you the heads-up.

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 4- Loyalty and Wine**

_"Ahh.... A-ahhh.....!" It was wrong, so wrong.... yet Castiel writhed and convulsed as he let out a sobbing moan. The muscles of his inner thighs quivered before a pair of firm calloused hands trailed over his bare legs. Teary eyes clenched tightly, not wanting to give into the sinful act.... But his body was reacting otherwise when one of the hands moved to his flat taut stomach._

_"Cas...." He flinched by the deep husky voice, dripping with lust before he breathed heavily in vain to calm himself. It wasn't working anyway, not when he felt the warm breath right above his navel._

_"Look at me, Cas.... Let me see those precious sapphire eyes of yours...." As if spellbound, Castiel peered his tear-filled eyes open and let out a shuddering gasp. Staring right into the glowing green-gold eyes, he felt his heart thumping with so much excitement that it should terrify him._

_It was him.... the vampire who took him away, intent on devouring him blood and soul. But the vampire, Dean, mentioned on his meaning of the word devour, as he chuckled lowly. "Don't worry.... I'll savor every single inch of you, Cas...." he purred, sharp teeth bared as he hovered over him. Castiel shuddered, barely paying attention to the fact that the monster was stilled clothed while the priest himself barely had on his black shirt._

_But even that was shredded apart, revealing the flawless fair skin of his chest. "C'mon, Cas.... curse me out, hit me, slap me.... it'll make it more fun for the both of us," grinned Dean._

_"I.... I...." Castiel couldn't speak, out of a mixture of fear and anxiety, before his lips were captured into a fierce kiss. Even with the fangs, Dean was careful enough not to bite him as he wrestled a skilled tongue down Castiel's throat. He purposely ground his denim-clad arousal against the man's crotch, mentally smirking when he heard a muffled moan before breaking the kiss._

_"Hmm.... even your spit tastes good," he chuckled though Castiel gasped for air. Embarrassed blush tinted the priest's face as he attempted to glare at the vampire. "That's it.... get angry at me, my sweet little Padre. You know how that gets me."_

_"G-go to Hell, you monster....!" Castiel hissed out, but it only made Dean chuckle again, sitting back on his heels as he reached down to undo the fly of his jeans. Castiel watched his motions and felt his voice crack within his throat. "N-no.... please, God, no....!" he gasped in horror._

_"No? You were practically praising hallelujah a moment ago. Remember.... when I gave you the best BJ a vamp like me can give," smirked Dean, taking in the terrified expression on the priest's face._

_"I won't give in.... No matter what you do to me, I know that my soul will stay pure!" gritted Castiel._

_"Yeah? Well we'll see about that...." Fishing into his pants, Dean growled softly as he freed out his hard throbbing erection much to the human's stunned dismay. The priest's watery blue eyes couldn't tear away from the sight of it. He wasn't sure what his attacker was going to do with that, shivering when Dean grabbed for his thighs and pushed them apart. "You think your soul will stay pure once I'm through with you....? You'll be begging to be corrupted over and over and over again...." he growled, sneering with delight as he leaned over to Castiel's horrified face._

_"N-no, you can't--" His whimpering was cut off as the vampire stuck two of his fingers into his mouth._

_"Don't bite, just cover them with spit," Dean warned him before nuzzling and licking at his throat-- already wounded with fresh bite marks from earlier. The human victim shuddered yet to comply as he reluctantly sucked the rough digits. It was too much, he couldn't let his soul be poisoned by this monster's lust. But he let out a weak whimper when Dean bucked against him. And yet he still wouldn't give in, no matter what was being done to him._

_"It's only a matter of time...." Dean purred, lapping up a stray trail of blood before taking his fingers out._

_"Stop this.... Please, just stop...." whimpered Castiel, more tears trickled out of his eyes. "Just drink my blood and that's it...." Dean responded with a lustful smirk. His glowing eyes intensified as he then pressed his saliva-covered fingers against the priest's dry entrance. "No, please....!" he whimpered, pushing at the hard chest but it was pointless, he was too weak due to bloodloss._

_"Good, I want you to put up a fight," rumbled Dean._

_"S-stop-- Ahhh....!" Castiel yelled out when the fingers suddenly intruded him. The harsh forceful action caused him violent spasm in his lower body, as he then whimpered out a broken sob, ignoring the seemingly consoling kisses on his tear-stained cheeks._

_"My sweet little Padre...." the vampire purred softly, nibbling the quivering lips for another kiss. "It'll all be over soon.... And then you'll be mine forever...." But Castiel couldn't listen to him, the burning pain was too much to bare as the fingers thrust in further into the tight inner muscles._

_"Save me.... s-save..." he hiccuped feebly as he tearfully looked up. But there was nothing above him.... It was pitch-black, with no source of light anywhere. Even the cold solid floor he was on was nothing but darkness. The only luminous thing around was the intense glowing of Dean's green-gold eyes, which shined with lasciviousness as he finally removed his fingers._

_"I'm the one who'll save you, Cas...." sneered Dean, positioning himself between the priest's legs, his eager erection pressing close to the crudely stretched entrance. "And you will thank me when this is all over.... I will have you all to myself in one way or another...."_

_"No, please....! D-don't, please.... Dean...."_

"Oww....!" Dean barely had a chance to break his fall within the split-second of rolling off the bed. He winced when he landed on his elbow this time, gritting his sharp teeth as he laid there on the hardwood floor from the pain. "F-fuck....!" he winced. Why did it happen again? It was the third time this month. He made sure to sleep right in the center of his bed, always comfortable since the mattress was firm and memory-foamed.

But as usual, his crazy dreams made his body move about animatedly. It was a habit that he could never get rid of since as a kid. He sat up, his glowing eyes narrowed in his dark bedroom as he checked at his now bruised elbow. "Great...." he grumbled. But just as he was about to get to his feet, he suddenly noticed that he was sporting a partial arousal in his boxers.

He frowned in slight confusion.... Not that he would complain about having morning wood, but now he couldn't remember the dream that caused it, seeing that the sudden drop out of his bed interrupted it. "Damn.... whatever it was, it must've been some freaky dream...." he frowned tiredly, going back to his bed. He checked his wristwatch left on his nightstand and frowned.

It was nearly ten-thirty, he had just went to sleep not even three hours ago. Two days had passed since that news of some hunter killing off the vampires in his territory. He had been stressed out ten-fold, calling every human ally he knew of. Some of them were actually hunters-- but he trusted them enough to inquire any known information of this particular one. But there had been nothing so far.

Then he ragged on Sam to no end on how disgusting he was for what he had done with Ruby. Even after his little brother had cleaned the couch three times over, Dean still didn't want to go near it, and he didn't want their 'hostage' to sleep on it anymore. But he was running himself ragged over the most trivial things, making sure that Castiel was as comfortable as possible despite the priest still being wary of him.

Right now, he could hear the priest shifting around on the newly purchased air mattress downstairs. Even after everything, Castiel showed little appreciation of the things, yet he couldn't blame him for that. He was his kidnapper, per se. Sighing deeply, Dean laid on his back and closed his eyes, glad that his arousal finally went down.

But he was curious of why he was aroused in the first place. It must have been a sex dream, but then again it could have been a dream of him drinking blood since that often gave him boners. The more he tried to dwell on it, the more lethargic his body mechanism was getting, as he eventually went back to sleep. The downside of being a nocturnal creature.

Meanwhile, Castiel sat up and scratched through his messy hair, wondering what he had just heard upstairs. It sounded like a loud muffled thud. He frowned in slight confusion, he remembered that it had happened before. Dean must have fallen off his bed. "...." He got off the twin-sized air mattress, taking care of folding up the extra sheets and deflating the portable furniture and folding that up as well. The brothers didn't seem to mind of him keeping neat, especially Sam whom he had seen using an entire container of disinfectant wipes on the couch after that embarrassing incident.

The younger vampire had apologized profusely to him about it but Castiel wasn't worried about that anymore. It was how he watched the emotions in that one, how he was nice and helpful to him but seeing him so angry and feral against Dean on that night made him rattled. He also felt troubled by the fact that Sam was 'hungry' yet didn't want to consume human blood that night. He didn't get it, but he wondered if vampires could consume anything else besides blood.

"Hmm...." Castiel sighed forlornly. He had been stuck here for five days, as today was Tuesday now. Sunday had gone by longer than he had expected.... without the safe reassurance of being in his safe little church. He wanted to know if either Dean or Sam had any news of him missing, but he felt a stressful tension since that confrontation between those two, with the older vampire brother grumbling over 'having to work for real'. Whatever that meant.

He walked around in silence, picking up the King James bible from the coffee table to read where he left off. This was the only thing that could keep him even-minded, but still he was afraid. There was no telling that vampires above might actually be tired of his presence and dispose of him one way or another. But then again.... he was supposed to be an off-limit human as Sam would put it.

If he were to be dead, it would be tracked back to the brothers and they would get into trouble. But why, he wondered. Maybe it had to do with being a pureblood or something like that. He put down the bible momentarily after going to the kitchen, reaching over the sink to pull back the curtain for much needed sunlight. It was strange, that thought came to him, he was given a form of freedom during the daytime yet he couldn't escape even if he could dare to try.

He was figuratively chained, with nothing to do but to not anger them on purpose. Not that he wanted to, being spiteful wasn't his way as a priest. However, he didn't want to be treated as a pushover even if his captors were vampires. He could try to act at least a bit more assertive, hopeful that he won't be underminded by them. After eating his small breakfast, Castiel resumed back to his book and read the Word in complete silence. It was the least he could do for himself, until nightfall.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The vibrating sound of his phone jolted Dean awake and he groaned out. His eyes naturally glowed as he blinked them open, before his hand fumbled for the device on the nightstand. "Who....?" he grumbled tiredly when he finally grabbed it and checked the caller ID. "Fuck...." he groaned before answering. "Yeah....?"

"Well, Good Morning to you too, Sunshine...."

"Ughh.... what time is it, Bobby?" he grumbled.

"An hour later on my time zone, idjit, about after seven-thirty," muttered Bobby in a scruffy manner. "I got something to tell you, remember what Sam told me what had happened to you? About you trying to compel some guy and it didn't work....?"

"Wha.... oh, that. Yeah, I almost forgot that," Dean nodded, sleep instantly forgotten as he sat up. "Did you find anything about it, Bobby?" he asked.

"Well, I got about a thousand books about you vamps and I already went through about twenty," he grumbled in tiresome. "I'm telling you, as much as this is pretty interesting, I didn't think this would be this difficult...."

"Yeah, I get that...." sighed Dean as he got off the bed. "Listen, Bobby, aside from that.... do you got any info of this hunter I told you about the other night....? I gave you a description and everything, so you got an idea or something?"

"Well, it's hard to pin down which exact hunter we're talking about here, Dean," he sighed. "There are still some around who would kill vampires good or bad, and we're having a hard time controlling them."

"Tch, ain't that a bitch.... I mentioned that he was willing to kill me-- a fucking pureblood," he scoffed. Throughout the talk, he grabbed for the nearest pair of jeans and put it on. "I told him straight out yet he was willing to give me a double-tap with silver bullets. He's gotta be fucking insane to kill someone like me, especially now that I'm the leader of this backwoods state."

"Well, not everybody knows of it--" "I've been a leader for just over two years, that's more than enough time to relay it to those assholes," huffed Dean. He left his bedroom, immediately hearing a soft sound of keyboard buttons being tapped away down the hallway. Sam was working as well, he realized. "Anyway, Bobby, if you find anything, just let us know. But if this guy keeps this up...."

"I know, Dean," affirmed Bobby. "But you've never killed a human before, as much as that sounds abysmal to my ears. And if you do it to assert your position, I'll be a bit worried of your end of the result."

"Uh-huh, let's just hope that I won't do it...." Dean walked downstairs, mildly surprised to see Castiel in the kitchen reading. The priest glanced up out of reflex when he walked by, his blue eyes widened slightly as he watched him warily. "Listen, I'll talk to you later, me and Sam are gonna see if we can settle out this shit."

"All right, later, Dean...."

Hanging up, Dean ignored the prolonged stare on him as he opened the fridge. He frowned in surprise when there was only three transfusion bags left. Wait.... four, when he pushed aside a container of cherries. They were running out faster than he had expected, even when Sam had been drinking exclusively animal blood for the past couple of days. Even if it was just him, he knew that the blood would be gone by tomorrow night.

"Fuck...." he sighed as he took one. By then, he glanced over at Castiel. The priest frowned rather nervously and glanced away, but it only made Dean curious and decided to sit across from him. "Cas, still reading your giant fairy tale book....?" he smirked, plopping one leg up onto the table.

His disregarding snark actually miffed Castiel with his frown tightened in annoyance. But seeing his joking mannerism was a parallel to the snarling creature ready to tear someone apart a few days ago. He couldn't tell which was his true side, but this one seemed safe for now, as he gave a slight nod. "This variation.... is not really that different from the bible I would usually read from...." he muttered.

"There are different kinds? Just thought it's the same bullshit," shrugged Dean, and the priest frowned at that.

"Each religion has their own denominations.... and because of that they have their own versions of holy books," he explained quietly. Dean blinked at that but immediately shrugged his shoulders and drank his food.

".... You should shave," he pointed out, gazing at the growing stubble on Castiel's face. His comment caught his attention, even made the human pat at his cheek covered in whiskers out of subconsciousness. "Not sure if we got a spare razor around here but I can make Errand Boy upstairs to roll by Walmart just in case--"

"I.... I'm fine," Castiel shook his head, going back to his bible. The words were there but he wasn't exactly reading them, he couldn't with the vampiric eyes on him.

"Are you really fine, or do you not really want me to help you?" questioned Dean.

"...."

"Well.... I'll do it anyway, because you're not bothering to ask me what you want," he sighed deeply as he continued to drink. "I just thought that, since you're a good preacher man, you'd be a bit more appreciative."

".... I would be, as part of my faith, but I cannot be since I am your hostage," muttered Castiel as he glanced up at him. This time, he felt a bit more assertive when he said it but Dean merely raised an eyebrow.

"Hm, makes sense...." he mumbled.

"Makes-- I.... I honestly don't know how you can act so nonchalant, so.... flippant," frowned Castiel. "I don't understand.... you're a vampire-- I've seen the way you acted the other night, like you and your brother looking as if you were about to rip each other apart. And then after that, you believe everything's fine."

"Oh, that.... the big-ass elephant in the room," Dean realized. "You didn't exactly witness Sam's 'tantrum', but it was close. There were reasons why you shouldn't piss him off, and you saw how easily it can happen. Just a flip of a switch, like that."

"And yet you had angered him over his.... questionable activity," he frowned but the vampire scoffed in amusement.

"I was pissed off, he was pissed off, we simply worked it out. That's what family does, right?" The way he answered it was so offhanded that it rubbed Castiel the wrong way.

".... Do what you will, if you wish to get me any more toiletries or clothes," he shook his head. "If you're really doing this out of the goodness of your heart, I mean...." Finishing his blood, Dean slightly frowned at that. He was only doing it because it was simply the right thing to do. But out of the goodness-- it sounded like another way of jibing him for not being religious at all.

"Can't I just be nice, Cas?"

"Like I said, do what you will. But.... in a way, you betrayed my trust in you when you came to me that night and attacked and kidnapped me," he frowned, going back to his bible. "Even if you weren't a vampire, it would take a lot more than giving me stuff to let me forgive you."

Forgive.... No wonder he was still wary of him. As a priest, Castiel should be ready to forgive anyone who had done wrong. But he was right. Dean was helped by him and returned the favor by drinking his blood and taking him from his hometown. That left a bitter taste in his mouth. ".... I need to make a quick run for myself, anyway," Dean muttered as he got up. "Sam's in his office so if you want anything, give him a knock, okay?"

"I understand...." came Castiel's quiet response, and Dean frowned. There was nothing he could do to placate this, as he was about to go to the staircase.

But he paused and turned to him with a deep sigh. Maybe it was best to tell him now. ".... The cops think you're missing, Cas, possibly attacked by a random burglar," he suddenly explained. That caught Castiel's attention as the priest flinched in surprise and looked up at him.

"A burglar....?"

"Yeah.... They believed the cause of your disappearance was some robber who was pissed off that the church ain't got any pricey things to pawn off," he replied. "There are speculations that he busted you up and dumped you somewhere in the woods. But that's just it.... the news over there are still vague, though." Castiel stared at him in slight disbelief. He wanted to inquire about the news with renewed confidence, but now it just seemed pointless.

".... So, is that all? You won't be in trouble about it now if the police think it was a burglary gone wrong?" he questioned.

"Sorry, Cas, we're not outta this shit yet," sighed Dean with a shrug. "I got a friend who's trying to figure out why you can't be compelled right now. If we can understand that, then we can figure out a way to send you home."

"But--"

"If you believe that we can simply take you back home after that news, that just ain't possible, Cas," frowned Dean and he flinched at that. "I understand that you won't dare to reveal that we exist. But not every human cannot be trusted with a secret like that, and if someone else knows that you know us.... It won't be pretty, I can tell you that."

"Like.... the other purebloods, correct?" muttered Castiel. Dean rose an eyebrow in slight surprise, before nodding as he walked up the stairs.

"Trust us, Cas, we're the nicer ones compared to those bureaucratic assholes," he sighed. Once he was gone, Castiel could only frown. The way Dean mentioned the other purebloods, it seemed that they have their own secret government. It would make sense since they had laws regarding which type of human not to feed on, and considering that he was imprisoned here, no doubt that Dean and Sam would be in trouble if they were to know.

Barely a couple of minutes went by, before Dean came back down. He only wore some random fannel over his sleep shirt as he put on his jacket. He briefly thought about asking what food Castiel would want but the priest's indecisiveness was annoying and let it drop. He glanced at him-- he went back to reading-- and his eyes lingered at his bare throat. The only thing from the bite were small smooth scars now, still visible to even the human eyes.

He wondered how does a vampire handle a donor-- he had never seen a human blood bank with obvious bite marks caused by their pureblood 'employers'. So far, that was what he was rolling with to avoid suspicion for now, although he hadn't had a chance to get another taste of his unique blood. Sighing, he looked away and went for the door, not bothering to mention that he will come back soon, no doubt he would be now that the sun had completely set.

After he left, Castiel let out a deep breath. He couldn't concentrate on reading anymore as he tiredly rubbed his eyes. It was all he had done, his lower back had been aching for sitting so long and being still for a long period of time had made him realize that he hadn't eaten. It seemed to be a habit of his lately, reading in what little peace he had for himself that he often forgot to eat.

Yet the vampires didn't seem to notice it at all. They were preoccupied with their own problems lately as well, but he wasn't exactly sure what the older one meant by working. Then again, Sam had an office and he had noticed him typing away with intense concentration on his laptop. It made sense, they had the means to keep buying him stuff but how were they working, he wondered.

He eventually got up and went to the fridge, resorting to eat the cherries as he then glanced out the window. Just a dark mangled enclosure of trees and bushes, with no hint of moonlight at all. Again, escape would be impossible like they said. There was no way he could find any other human for help out there. Not that he would dare to try anyway.

".... Hey there, Castiel," Sam greeted quietly as he walked downstairs, catching his attention. Seeing his small smile was somewhat comforting to the priest, who would rather not witness that frightening scene again. "How are you feeling? Did Dean give you any hard time?" he asked but Castiel shook his head.

"He.... insisted on buying me some razors, and that's all," he muttered. He knew that Sam had heard a lot more than that but the taller vampire didn't press it further as he walked up to the kitchen table. Castiel watched him place a book next to the opened bible, his hazel-green eyes glanced at him eating food before smiling awkwardly.

"Knowing my dumb brother, he'll stop by some fast food place and get you some burger afterwards," he sighed. "Are you fine with that, Castiel....?"

".... Can't you eat those? Human food, I mean...." he asked. At that, Sam blinked in mild confusion but nodded.

"We don't live entirely on blood, but I don't like every single food presented to me," he sighed. "Thinking about it, I've only bought the least smelliest food. My nose, it can track a wounded deer nearly ten miles away. It's that sensitive...."

"But.... I've never seen either of you eaten anything since I was..." mumbled Castiel, before frowning. So they weren't kidding about finding him so easily should he dare to flee into the woods.

"Here, I can show you," Sam nodded as he walked up to him. The priest stiffened of being loomed over, but blinked when the other picked up a couple of the dark red fruits and popped them into his mouth. "Hm, see....?" he shrugged, though he made a slight face when chewing. "Ugh, seeds," he muttered and spat them out in the sink.

"You didn't have to prove it to me," Castiel frowned.

"Well, you were obviously curious about it," he nodded and put up a small smirk. "I was like that myself.... When we were kids, Dean would trick me into eating any red-colored food because I thought they were flavored with blood. I once tried to suck out an apple during one of his dares, but it kinda backfired when I ate the damn thing and wanted more." Seeing him with a fond expression made him look so.... human, the priest thought in mild curiosity as he watched him going back to the table.

"Remember what I said.... about you not asking so much questions regarding us vampires?" reminded Sam, and Castiel resisted an apprehensive shudder at the thought of it. "Well.... I can make an exception after what had happened over the weekend. About what Ruby mentioned...."

"Huh....? Oh, right.... She said if I'm a donor, that your brother had 'bought' me," he muttered, wanting to touch the healing scars on his neck but resisted with a deep frown. Sam's expression shifted into a concerned frown and nodded as he sat down.

"It seems to be the safest bet to go by for now.... Ruby doesn't know about your disappearance, as she's not from this state so she wouldn't know of the news," he sighed. "You see, Castiel.... when certain vampires can afford it, they can 'buy' a human to subsequently feed on them-- a donor, that's what it is."

"Buy.... You mean there are people who are being used as food by those mon--" Castiel questioned in disbelief but shut his mouth from using that word and shook his head. "I mean.... civilians being bought like that, it almost sounded like slavery...."

"It's more like employed servitude," Sam pointed out with an awkward frown. "Meaning, the donor is usually granted with forms of payments. Money, obviously, but the wealthier vampires would often give their donors room and board. Even going as far as grooming them-- like giving them luxury items and clothes."

"But, still.... it doesn't even sound right," he shook his head, his expression etched with the troubling thought of people actually doing this. "It's practically selling your soul off for material things, knowing that those kinds of people cannot be saved if they continue down that path...."

"I understand your concern, Castiel, but this is actually a safer method than having every one of us going to town on a midnight human buffet," sighed Sam. "It's even more safe when our kind screen the humans who wanted to get into our world. Blood type, history of sexual activity, even preferences of height or sex or race-- we're more thorough than the TSA and the Pentagon combined. And as for the rejects, they're simply get compelled into thinking that the 'job' is gone or not applicable for them, like any other normal employment."

That explanation didn't make Castiel feel better, it was so much to take in. Dean mentioned that every human knew of these nocturnal creatures cannot be completely trusted. As much as he was internally glad that the hypnotized ones were spared, he felt worried about the ones who let themselves to be at the mercy of those who can easily kill them.

The black cherries long forgotten in his hands, as he moved to sit across from Sam. ".... What happens to those who became their food supply? What if they don't want to do it anymore?" he questioned quietly.

"Hard to say.... Me and Dean usually kept to ourselves from the other vampires," the tall vampire sighed as he shook his head. "But we heard stories and sometimes rumors, with some of the donors.... becoming like us...." The priest's blue eyes widened in shock, even though Sam seemed reluctant of telling that last part. So it can happen, just like in the movies and books-- to become the same monsters that fed on them.

"No, you can't become like us from a simple bite like that, if that's what you're thinking," Sam smirked rather ruefully when Castiel was about to speak but he frowned again. "But I told you as much as I allowed myself to. So that's what we're going to roll with it, as Dean would say it, that you're his donor and you're living here with us for a while."

"But.... how-- why should I do that....?" Castiel gasped in realization.

"It's only a little white lie--"

"No, it's more than that.... I have to pretend to be his...." Castiel frowned bitterly and rubbed at his neck, his fingers trailing over the smooth skin that was covering the healing wound. "Is that the reason why both of you have been giving me things, for me to relent into this kind of.... servitude?"

"What? No, Castiel, that's not it at all," frowned Sam.

"Then what?"

"Is it that hard to consider that we simply want to make you comfortable, after what my foolish brother had done....?" he frowned, and Castiel blinked at that. "Just please.... try to understand. We're risking ourselves to not only to protect you but ourselves as well. And let's face it, we cannot afford to.... to go on a move again, if the others knew of this."

Again....? So they were not from here.... but then where? But he didn't have a chance to even voice it, when they heard the sounds of the bolts unlocking before Dean opened the door. "Hey, Sammy.... you and Cas had been talking about that holy mumbo-jumbo?" grinned Dean, carrying a fast food bag with one arm as he strolled in.

"Whatever, Dean...." sighed Sam. "I was just telling him that he should live out as a donor just in case someone comes sniffing around. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, but there's just one problem," Dean shrugged as he placed the food alongside a few shopping bags onto the table. "Does it look like we can actually afford a donor, Sammy? I mean, we're not exactly Richard Branson."

"Well, I don't know, Dean," his brother frowned. "No doubt you get most of your earnings hustling pool and poker, but even that we're barely scraping by before Castiel came along."

"Isn't that what fake credit cards are for?" he joked.

"Wha-- you used those again, Dean? I already told you not to do that, they'll get suspicious," scoffed Sam.

"But I haven't used them for the longest time, I doubt they'd catch on." Castiel watched the banter between them and frowned in slight confusion. Only wealthy vampires can afford donors and their needs, he was just told that, but these brothers sounded like they were borderline broke. They barely had any money yet they were taking care of Castiel in any way they can.

He wanted to question why but thought against it, instead his eyes wandered to the shopping bags that were probably filled with more clothes and toiletries. "Here, go nuts on it while me and Sam have a little vamp talk," Dean smirked as he pushed the food toward the priest.

"Huh? About what, Dean....?" frowned Sam but he caught a brief glance of his older brother's serious expression. ".... Fine. Here, Castiel, if you're interested," he nodded, pushing the book toward Castiel, who blinked in slightly more interest than the burgers. "Upstairs in my office?"

"Sure," nodded Dean as they went upstairs. Seeing him like this made Sam rather uncomfortable; it could be either some news about that killer hunter or something else. Stepping into the office, Dean closed the door and plopped himself onto the swivel chair. "Got some not so good news, and some bad news.... Which do you wanna hear first?"

"Either way, we're screwed, right....?" frowned Sam and the other vampire shrugged.

".... We're running out of blood here," he muttered. "Technically, I'm running out, I'm gonna be tapped out by tomorrow at the earliest."

"So why didn't you buy some? Unless the black market doesn't accept fake cards," he commented, but Dean shook his head.

"I had the cash, but the dealers fucked it up. Something went wrong over there, most of the batch went sour."

"How's that possible?" frowned Sam.

"The fridge system or something broke down and nobody noticed it until it was too late," huffed Dean. "And as the leader of this dumbass state, I have to figure out a way to situate those who usually live off the transfusion blood."

"Aww, am I supposed to feel sorry for you, Dean?" his brother then smirked at him. Dean responded with a playful baring of his teeth before shaking his head. "Want me to help you, though?"

"Yes, please, baby brother....?" he grinned lightly.

"I'm practically your assistant, you wouldn't get shit done anyway without me anyway," sighed Sam.

"Yes, thank you. You are so fucking smart, Sammy," he smiled but soon frowned and swayed his body slowly in the chair. "Just shit on another shit.... this is getting ridiculous. I kinda wonder those other bastards do it. Guess it doesn't help that we were fumbling around the country like a couple of foster kids without enough time to get educated right."

"It's not that big of a deal, Dean," nodded Sam. He turned to a nearby bookshelf and grabbed an old leatherbound textbook. "Actually, I knew enough thanks to Bobby while you rather bounced from bed to bed with God knows who.... And if I know about pureblooded leaders, is that they often control with an iron fist according to our history," he sighed deeply as he flipped through the yellowed pages.

"But I don't wanna rule like some hard-ass boss, Sammy," sighed Dean, his eyes glanced at his younger brother before frowning. "This job status isn't my wish in the goddamn first place.... and you yourself couldn't become one, because of your condition...."

".... You keep calling it a condition, even though it's not--"

"It _is_ a condition, Sam. It's practically a disease," Dean frowned at him, and Sam frowned back with narrowed eyes. "Oh, don't look at me like that--"

"We're not going over this again, Dean," he exhaled deeply. "I'm fine right now, okay....? When was my last episode, about five months ago? The only damage I done then was slaughtering a couple of bears before I calmed down."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Yogi and BooBoo appreciate that instead of you going off around the humans," snorted Dean before standing up. "And over the past weekend, you nearly snapped and if I haven't calmed you down, Cas would've been splattered all over the cabin." Sam's jaw muscles tightened at that and sighed again, before looking back to his book.

"All right, I'm sorry, that was my fault...." sighed the younger brother though his tone was coming off curtly. "It can't be helped that I get blue-balled also."

"Tch, I prefer any other girl for you over Ruby, that's simply my opinion," he grumbled. "I don't get why you won't let her go like the last time."

"Because she's the only one who even bothers with me, because of what I am," frowned Sam.

"You mean she gets to fuck some pureblood just to earn some respect from her bitchy friends and her boss," he frowned. Sam said nothing about it, moving to sit by his desk as he purposely ignored Dean. ".... Fine then, but you know what? If you wanna keep fooling around with that mudblood vamp, then that's your life," he sighed as he turned to leave.

"Mudbloods are referred to witches and wizards who are born to normal humans, idiot," muttered Sam and he paused. "Next time, do your homework if you're going to make a _Harry Potter_ joke...." Dean glanced at him and scoffed softly.

"Book a hotel room next time, bitch...." he grumbled. He left the office and huffed as he walked downstairs. He held back in his own annoyance when he glanced at Castiel, who seemed to be interested in the book he was given. At least he was eating, Dean noticed, seeing that the half-eaten burger was right next to him. He glanced at the couch with mild aversion, before looking back at the priest.

".... What're you reading, Cas?" he asked quietly, catching his attention.

"It's called.... _The Hero with a Thousand Face_...." muttered Castiel and then he turned back to the book, but Dean didn't care much about being snubbed. He was still worried about his own supply of blood. Going after humans was still suspended until he figured out about this hunter, and there was no way that he wanted to go days on drinking animal blood.

"Hm, sounds fun," he shrugged, moving to sit by the table. He fished out a six-pack of beer from one of the shopping bags and opened one can. ".... Want one, Cas?" he offered another can to the priest.

"Huh....? Oh.... I don't drink," Castiel shook his head.

"You don't?"

"I'm not the type to indulge in alcohol," he muttered quietly.

"Huh.... that sucks...." Taking a big gulp, Dean stole another glance at him. Castiel wasn't aware of his stare, of how the the green-gold eyes lingered at the sight of his vein subtly appearing just under the skin. He wanted to.... Taking his gaze away, he chugged the first can down before moving for the second one. He wanted it so bad, but he had broken the trust between them after that terrifying event.

There was no way he could get that blood from him, if he couldn't even compel him. ".... Do you really wish to keep me company?" muttered Castiel, catching his attention.

"Well, I'm used to the silence, I don't mind," he smirked lightly but Castiel frowned.

"You're.... still mad at your brother for his.... improper activity with his company, aren't you?" he asked.

"Nah, that's not it," Dean smirked.

"Then you could watch television anytime you want--"

"But there's nothing on I'd like," he shrugged.

"You got cable--"

"Three hundred-something channels, and still nothing's good on," said Dean, finishing his second can of beer. "Simple as that, Cas. We take things for granted, don't we?" But the priest didn't seem to believe it, as he looked away with a troubled frown. "Cas....? Is there something wrong, I don't mean by not watching TV...." he sighed. "I just.... I dunno, try to start over. You know, when we were talking about random shit. Before what I done to you that night, when my mind went into a vampiric factory setting for some reason. I only controlled myself when I realized that you were going into shock, I thought you were gonna pass out and die even though I only took a few gulps outta you."

".... What did you expect? You entered my church-- my sanctuary-- with no absolute fear of God in you," Castiel frowned bitterly. "With an attitude like that, you make it sound like you are truly a demon. If you weren't guilty of drinking my blood then, then how can I believe that you are apologizing to me now? I honestly don't get it...."

Hearing that, Dean could only frown. He couldn't explain what he had done, that he acted as what he was. Damn it, why....? He had never felt a hint of guilt from drinking the blood of his prey before. But Castiel was truly different. A priest, untainted due to his religious lifestyle, living a simple life while wasting away his days serving for his god. It wasn't fair that Dean should hold himself back because of it.

If only.... he could take him, for more than just his blood....

_"Don't worry.... I'll savor every single inch of you, Cas...."_

Dean blinked back into reality, nearly crushing the empty can in his hand by his startlement. He frowned in slight confusion, what was that about....? It was much too brief, not even two seconds, but it was vivid enough to make his brain loop on itself.

He was pinning down Castiel, much like how he did when he drank his blood. But it was different.... he had the priest nearly nude, his bare throat riddled with hickeys and bite marks as tears streamed out of the frightening blue eyes. And instead of being in front of the altar, it was nothing but solid blackness, his glowing eyes illuminated though it was filled with lust.

But it wasn't bloodlust at all. It was actual lust, that he wanted to make Castiel his.... by taking away his innocence. He was confused and yet at the same time, he wondered if that was the dream that he couldn't remember this morning.... He glanced back at Castiel, who went back to reading. He wouldn't lie to himself that he was physically attracted toward him since that night in the church graveyard, but it felt mutual to him-- it was his smell and his blood that might have something to do with it.

It was natural to feel like that as a vampire, the sexual attraction often comes afterwards when they drink the victim's blood. It often explained why most vampires would lust after them, even going as far as turning them for their own selfish gains. As a matter of fact, Dean felt a slight stirring in his lower stomach and frowned awkwardly, shifting in his seat before any more carnal thoughts could be brought up.

He exhaled through his teeth and got up, considering whether or not to drink the little blood supply he had right now. "Damn, damn...." he growled softly as he paced around. His actions caught the priest's attention, and it was making him slightly wary.

".... Something else is on your mind," he commented, not really wanting to ask him.

"And this something else is none of your business, Cas," sighed Dean. Castiel blinked at that, the vampire didn't seem annoyed by it as he finally decided to sit on the recliner and put on the TV. But it was only to distract himself, putting on a random sports channel. This couldn't be right. Sure, he had on occasion slept with humans, at least with those whom he hadn't bitten. But to feel aroused by one so close to him, especially after drinking his blood, it was a different experience for a pureblood like him.

He mentally frowned, though. Sam had that fake girlfriend of his to get off while he was the one with the blue balls. The last time he got laid was so long ago, being busy as a reluctant leader, probably several months ago. Maybe that was it, it was simply a fleeting urge for intercourse and nothing more. But he was still a little stressed. That dream.... he couldn't imagine that he would take Castiel like that, no matter how erotic it was. The priest doesn't even look like the type to enjoy such roughness, anyway. But still.... he should try not to dwell on it further, not when he had jobs to do as a leader.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_".... A-ahh....! Ahh.... ohhh.... Dean-- ahh....!" The painful choked sobs soon turned into reluctant but pleasurable moans.... Castiel's tears dampened his cheeks to the point that the skin was getting irritated. It didn't help that the side of his face was being pressed against the solid surface of nothingness. That was because Dean kept petting through his tousled black-brown hair, his grunts mixing in with satisfying growls and purrs._

_The vampire was pressed right against his back, his dirty denim-clad legs pinning over the priest's as he bucked in quick short thrusts. He chuckled, hearing the barely concealed whimpering leaking out of Castiel's lips. "For a virgin.... you're moaning like a bitch in heat...." he groaned, his sharp teeth grazing over his skin as he kissed at his shoulder. "You're not bad during your first time, Cas...."_

_"P-please.... I can't, Dean...." whimpered Castiel, only to moan out when Dean bucked forward, hitting a sensitive spot inside him. More tears came, mostly out of sheer shame, wondering why his body was acting this way, that he was feeling nothing but sinful pleasure. "Ahhh....!" he moaned, shuddering before Dean chuckled by his ear._

_"Ah, what's that I hear....? Are you enjoying this, my dear Padre?" he purred deeply._

_"No--"_

_"Don't lie, Cas, ain't that against those holy rules of yours...?" he groaned with a lecherous smirk. "Then again.... this is also against the rules. But at least you actually want this, Cas...."_

_Castiel wanted to cry again, but deep down it was true.... it felt so true. He wanted it.... his body wanted it, feeling itself tingling with carnal desire as he moaned again. He felt his body shudder again, his own arousal stiff and achy from the lack of touch as pre-come was dripping out. "Ahh, you're getting wet down there, Cas....?" purred Dean. The hand that was combing through the priest's hair traveled down to caress the shivering stomach muscles, before moving to grasp his leaking erection._

_"Ohh....! Dean, d-don't....!" Castiel whimpered pleadingly, his tear-stained cheeks flushed as Dean began to stroke him off. It was too good, much too good!_

_"What was that? Do you want me to stop giving you this.... pleasure?" Dean groaned huskily, before his fangs nipped into his shoulder. The sharp feeling of the teeth sinking into him made Castiel yelp out and spazzed against his supposed attacker. "Hmm, what a surprise.... your blood's just as pure as before!" he chuckled. "Guess it doesn't matter whether or not I'm getting a piece of this sweet ass...."_

_"Ah--" Without warning, Castiel was pulled onto the vampire's lap, moaning out in surprise when Dean seemed to have gotten deeper inside of him. Dean, however, let out a shuddering growl as he positioned the bare legs over his knees._

_"Fuck.... I've never thought I'd get to be with such a delicious human like yourself, Cas...." he growled. "But I don't want this to be the one and only time we can do this.... I want you to be with me forever, I don't wanna let you go."_

_Hearing that, Castiel made a comforting whine and leaned against the vampire's firm chest. The tears still came but his blue eyes glistened as he glanced at his face. Despite of the glowing eyes and sharp teeth, Dean was still the same smirking charming man he had met before. He couldn't deny the fact that the monster was really handsome.... This monster was really seeping his dark lust slowly into his heart._

_"Ah.... All right...." he moaned, shakily reaching up to touch Dean's cheek and chin, his fingers touching the drooling blood but he didn't care. He had already forsaken his god and his soul for this monster. ".... I'll be with you, Dean.... I'll fall and become one like you...."_

_"Like me, huh....?" Leaning close, Dean captured his lips for a deep sensual kiss. Castiel could taste the metallic mix of his own blood but he didn't care at all as their tongues tangled with one another. "You're willing to become like me, Cas....? A blood-sucking demon from Hell....?" growled Dean._

_"Yes, Dean.... please...." he murmured breathlessly._

_"Please what, Cas....?" groaned Dean as he thrust up a few times and Castiel moaned out. "Do you want me to turn you....? To become the monster with a corrupted soul....?"_

_"Yes....!" Castiel gasped and moaned as the vampire bucked several more times. Dean was getting close, lapping up the oozing blood before sharing it with his supposed victim with another kiss._

_"Fine then.... You will be mine forever, Castiel.... My own dark lover...."_

"Ahh-- Ughhh....!" Dean gasped out sharply, his eyes snapped open just a second before he caught himself from rolling off his bed. His clawed fingers clamped onto the mattress just as his body twisted over the edge but he didn't fall this time. With his heart thumping fast in surprise, he panted as he glared around.

He was in his room, he realized that after a moment. ".... The fuck was that?" he panted, calming down as he shifted himself onto the center of the bed. But as he did so, he felt a slight dampness on the bedsheets. For a second, he thought it was sweat from his sleep.... but then a different scent suddenly hit his nose and he frowned in surprise.

"What the....?" Dean sat up and patted at the front of his boxers. It was also damp.... and kind of sticky. ".... The fuck, did I just... Goddamn it," he sighed heavily. He didn't expect that at all, to get off in one of his dreams....

Wait.... what was his dream?

"Fuck it, not again...." he frowned in annoyance as he got off his bed. He wasn't exactly sure what time it was but he could see slivers of sunlight behind the thick curtains. He couldn't go back to sleep, now that he had an embarrassing result of a wet dream. "Fuck...." It was better to go and take a shower, as he stepped out of his room. The need to go back to sleep was in his head, but he shrugged it off and went for the bathroom.

But as he opened the door and stumbled in, he blinked in surprise at the sight of Castiel who flinched at the intrusion. "Huh....?" Dean mumbled before noticing what the priest was doing. He was trying to assemble the electric razor while sitting on the edge of the tub. Castiel blinked back in surprise, his blue eyes seemed to brighten under the soft white light as he stared at the vampire.

"Uh.... It's morning, right?" muttered Dean, fighting off a yawn.

".... Late in the morning, just before noon," Castiel replied quietly. So he had been sleeping for only a good five hours, Dean noticed, as he rubbed his tired eyes. He then glanced at the partially assembled razor in his hands and couldn't help but smirk a little.

"Need a little help there, Padre?" he suggested.

"Um, no, I can manage...." muttered Castiel but the human frowned when Dean picked up the opened box by the sink and glanced at the pictures.

"Hmm, you got the top part on backwards, simple as that," he pointed out.

"Oh...." Castiel frowned before fixing it. He glanced up, seeing that Dean wasn't leaving the bathroom. In fact, the vampire seemed mildly interested of what he was doing. He could ask for privacy but knowing his personality, Dean would stick around just to watch him fumble over his actions.

".... You know how to use it, Cas?" asked Dean.

"I.... I could manage by myself, without being watched," sighed the priest as he stood up and plugged the device next to the medicine cabinet. Dean blinked at that but put up a light smile.

"I get it.... just don't take too long," he shrugged as he turned to leave. Stepping into the hallway, Dean leaned against the wall and waited, frowning a little at the sticky aftermath drying up down there. He wondered what kind of dream he had that it would cause something like this. Maybe.... it had to do with the dream he had the last time.... involving Castiel.

That must be it, it has to be. But why....? Again, he wouldn't deny that he was attracted to the priest, but to have such an intense dream of having sex with him was making him slightly puzzled over it. Mostly because he couldn't exactly remember it, as he frowned and tried to concentrate of what had happened in his brain. Through his distracted thinking, he didn't pay attention to the low buzzing sound of the razor.

"Ah...!"

Almost instantly, Dean's senses heightened as he snapped his head up and glared at the opened bathroom door. The smell of.... blood assaulted his nose. Castiel's blood. He didn't realize that he walked right in, his glowing eyes zeroing in on the very small cut on the man's recently shaved cheek. The glow wasn't exactly obvious under the artificial light but his sudden presence startled Castiel as he looked up at him alertly. "Uh, what is it....?" he muttered, taking a step back due to the closeness between them.

Dean didn't say anything, his adam's apple wiggled as he tried to swallow back his urges. It was so tiny, but he could smell a hint of the untainted blood welling up on the cut. ".... You're all right, Cas?" he muttered, suppressing down his growls. Castiel blinked at that, but realizing what he meant as his blue eyes widened. "Wait, Cas--"

"You can smell it....!" he gasped softly. He touched his cheek, his fingers wiping at the blood. But just as fast, Dean grabbed his wrist, feeling the pulse under the skin throbbing. He could also hear his heart beating quickly, as Castiel's fear was flaring up. ".... Please...." he whispered weakly.

".... I won't hurt you, Cas," rumbled Dean.

"You're lying...."

"I'm not...." Sharp teeth threatened to extend as he leaned close, the pupils in his green-gold eyes contracted at the dark red liquid on the fingers. Breathing heavily, Dean controlled himself as his tongue darted out to lick the digits. Castiel, though frozen in shock, mentally recoiled as Dean practically sucked around the fingers. It felt so disgusting and slimey. He wanted to pull away, this was so wrong.

But Dean groaned in relief at the taste of the priest's blood. It was only a little, but purity of it was enough to send a shiver down to his loins, much like the last time. He sucked and licked the fingers clean but he could still smell the blood as he gazed at the small cut on Castiel's cheek. ".... Hold still, Cas...." he exhaled softly.

"But...." Castiel's hitched voice was cut off as his chin was gripped. Tears pricked at the corners of his frightened eyes as he stared at the vampire's. Dean's warm breath hovered just before pressing his lips against the cut. The priest now felt more confused than scared; it felt like a kiss on his cheek but it felt so wrong as it was coming from a man.

Dean's grip on his wrist tightened and he winced slightly in pain. But Dean didn't pay attention as he lapped up any remnant of the blood. He even felt himself getting hard from the taste of shallow wound alone. He was aware that Castiel's fear was intensifying by the minute, as he kissed over the now clean cut one more time before moving away. He licked his lips as if the blood was stained there. It might as well be, as his hunger was beginning to ache inside him.

But still, he held it down as he stared at Castiel's scared face. ".... I'm sorry, Cas...." he rumbled softly, looking away. "I.... I couldn't help myself, this blood of yours...."

".... W-would you attack me again....?" Castiel muttered weakly.

"No.... I can control myself but.... this time, you only nicked yourself and look where this got me," frowned Dean. "What would happen if you get a paper cut or-- I dunno-- fall and scrape your knee or bang your head....?"

Frowning grimly, Castiel could sense a hint of concern in the vampire's voice. And yet, he found it hard to believe. How can his blood that alluring to him? He had seen him drinking the transfusion blood as if it was simply juice. Was his that different from the other blood, or was it something else? ".... Are you like this.... with the other victims you preyed on?" he questioned warily.

"Trust me, Padre, your blood's pretty special than the others...." he rumbled. "It's hard to describe it-- but I think I did mention about comparing it to some good ass brandy.... I cannot explain as easily as I wanna, but your blood is honestly intoxicating."

"Then.... why doesn't your brother notice it, if it is that addicting? I don't understand...." Castiel frowned in frightened befuddlement.

".... Sam, he's a different case.... He's much more into control than I am when it comes to.... human blood," he muttered quietly and the priest looked at him, still confused of what that meant. But then he remembered about that confrontation over the weekend, about Sam needing something else beside the human blood in the fridge during his near rage. "It's easier not to think on it, just be glad that he didn't smell your blood a moment ago," Dean said, as if reading his thoughts.

"....." Castiel slightly nodded, as Dean let go of his wrist.

"Again, I'm sorry for acting like a scary monster around you...." he frowned. "But this is my nature.... If you think I'm bound for one-way ticket for Hell, then that's your opinion as a priest." But Castiel felt a bit conflicted. He could tell that the vampire was being sincere about this and yet being roughly handled and had his face and fingers licked up was honestly disturbing. But his own concerns were cut off when Dean picked up the razor and clicked his tongue.

"That was the problem, you had it on high and probably kept jamming it against your skin...." he muttered, as he put it on low. "Here, let me help...." he offered though the priest obviously didn't wish to be touched again as he stiffened by the vampire's hand on his shoulder. "Come on, the sooner I do this, the sooner I can shower up and go back to bed," he frowned at him.

Castiel frowned tersely but eventually complied as he tilted his head back and felt the humming blades pressing deftly against the stiff hair. He wasn't sure how to feel about this, Sam assured him last night about donors being groomed by their vampire masters in order to be treated well and gain their trust. But he wasn't being groomed-- well, he was at the moment-- but being helped by the one he was holding him against his will felt very discomforting.

Dean, however, gazed back at the tiny cut as he carefully buzzed away the whiskers. He inhaled the good clean scent on him, before glancing down at the light pink scars contrasting over the pale neck. It was still noticeable, it won't go away for another week and even then he wasn't sure if the marks would be permanent. Meaning.... they would notice it tonight, and he didn't like that. ".... Listen, Cas...." he muttered softly. "There's something you must do for me.... it's pretty important."

"Huh....?"

"Yeah, it's, uh-- turn your head to the left," he muttered as he tilted the priest's head to the side. "Honestly, I'd rather have you here and sitting on your ass, reading those fairy tales of yours.... But it seems that I don't have a choice.... I might have to take you with me on a little business trip...."

If he didn't have his chin firmly gripped during the shaving, Castiel would have look at him in shock and disbelief with widened eyes. He would leave this cabin.... only to be taken to somewhere else....

"You, me and Sam..... we're going to a special place where I'd rather you not know about," he rumbled. "You're not supposed to, since you can't get compelled.... but if you keep to yourself and keep your piehole shut, then there would be no trouble...." It was a warning but the concerning tone was evident as Castiel noticed it. But he felt worried about it. He was going to be taken to a different place somewhere.... that might be full of vampires. So that was it.

"Listen to me, Cas.... whatever happens, you stick by me and me only," Dean muttered. "Unless I get called away somewhere, then you stick by Sam. Either way, you will _not_ speak to others, and you keep your eyes down. Unless you're asking for trouble, Cas. And we both know that you won't do it on purpose...."

Shaving off the last of the hair, the vampire let his fingers caress over the smooth yet slightly scratchy skin. The priest looked a lot better now, almost appearing as he was when they first met. Once he let go of him, Castiel rubbed at his cheeks before glancing at the mirror. At least he does look better.... but soon the thought of being surrounded by more vampires was settling dreadfully in his gut.

".... I understand.... I won't say anything...." he muttered reluctantly. Seeing him so resigned made Dean uncomfortable. He didn't want to take him but he doesn't have a choice. He needed Sam to accompany him for this trip, and he couldn't leave Castiel alone here. There was no telling that someone might come by and find the kidnapped human living in the cabin.

"All right.... take a step out, Padre, I'm hitting the showers," he nodded.

".... All right," sighed Castiel.

"It's okay, leave it here," Dean muttered when he was about to move the razor and the box. "Just go, Cas...." he nodded. "I'll think of something to keep you safe tonight...." Castiel glanced at his honest expression and sighed in agreement. They were purebloods, something like that sounded intimidating so he might be protected in a way.

As he left the bathroom, he hadn't even noticed the partial arousal Dean had been having since getting a taste of his blood. The vampire shut the door and growled softly, he could still smell the clean scent lingering in the air. He wasn't sure exactly if it was from finally getting to taste it once again.... or maybe it was the dream he had this morning. It was coming back to him, but it was fuzzy.... it was like trying to see through static but it was there.

Of him taking Castiel as his.... sharing the priest's blood through lewd kisses.That type of action was very intimate between vampires, even for him. But that was all he can remember. At least for now, as he took off his soiled underwear and then his shirt. On his left pectoral, there was a tattoo of a pentagram encircled by black flames, just like the one his brother had. It had some meaning to it, but that was his secret that he wouldn't say it to anyone so easily.

"Hahhh....." he sighed deeply when he put on the shower and the cool water sprayed over his heated skin. But he couldn't help but think about Castiel, he needed to keep an eye on him as long as the news of the missing priest were still around. If that human was recognized by one of his followers, then it would be over at a drop of a hat.

"Son of a bitch...." he huffed tiredly.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and Review.

I'll update ASAP!


	5. Satan's Evil Square

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 5- Satan's Evil Square**

"...." Castiel just sat on the couch, not worried about the possible trace of Sam's aftermath with Ruby as he fiddled anxiously at the hem of his 'borrowed' hoodie. It was a faded navy color and overly warm because it was much bigger than the red one he had on before. The sleeves were several inches past his hands that he had to roll them up twice to see them. He wondered why he had to wear, but didn't really question it when Dean gave it to him.

But before doing so, the vampire was seen wearing it himself, purposely rubbing the fabric over his bare skin for a few hours. ".... It'll have my scent on it, so everybody will know better than to touch you," Dean had mentioned. It seemed significant enough to understand that part, but the fact that the large sweatshirt actually belonging to Sam seemed hard to get. But again, he didn't bother to question it, as he waited for the two brothers to get ready.

"C'mon, Sammy, it shouldn't take that long to get your stupid laptop," sighed Dean as he brisked down the steps. The sound of jingling metal caught Castiel's attention as he glanced up to see a set of keys being tossed in the air before Dean caught it effortlessly. "You're all right, Cas....? You're not that scared of where we're going, aren't you?" he asked as he walked up to the couch.

"I honestly have.... reservations about this," Castiel admitted with a grim frown. "I thought I'm not supposed to.... know about the activities of the vampires, and yet I am going to witness it."

"Yeah, that sucks balls," he sighed heavily. "Just remember what I told you. Eyes down, mouth shut, and stick by me. It's not that hard to forget." It was like telling child not to cause trouble, but Castiel merely nodded, as he then picked at the fabric of his khaki slacks. He wasn't sure where they were going, but the thought of being taken somewhere against his will was hard to ignore.

"All right, I'm ready...." Sam sighed, slinging a bag over his shoulder as he walked downstairs. "Come on, we don't want to be late, Dean."

"Tch, I could say the same for you," his brother scoffed. "You were probably brushing up that fucking lion mane you call hair."

"Yes, Dean, I prefer to be pretty than looking butch like you, jerk," he frowned at him. Dean put up a cynical smirk before looking at Castiel.

"Okay, let's go, Cas.... we're about to go for a little drive," he nodded. Castiel blinked at that in slight confusion but got up. He wasn't sure what the vampire meant by that, when they were in the middle of the woods. Surely, there was no way that they could have a car out there. But Dean thought otherwise, as he opened the door and stepped out. Sam lingered behind and watched as the priest hesitantly followed after him.

Once the door shut behind them, Castiel shuddered by the sudden darkness. There was no way that he could see right in front of him, which made it more haunting as two pairs of glowing eyes were looking at him. "Right, he can't see the garage right there...." sighed Dean, suddenly grasping at his sleeve. Castiel nearly recoiled by that but steadied himself as he was led across the even but rain-softened ground to this garage.

Sam made a smart decision to illuminate the small shed with the light of his phone, and the human blinked in surprise at the sight of what he saw. A vintage sleek black car parked within the tin-roofed garage, appearing untouched of the dirt and scratches by nature. Dean noticed his interested stare and smirked in admiration. "My baby's a beauty, ain't she, Padre?" he grinned.

"You really have a car here....?" frowned Castiel.

"Well, we do have a small road out here, but only we can see it," he joked, moving to open one of the door for the backseat. "Here, go right on in, Cas." The priest frowned but complied, sliding onto the soft leathery cushion. The light from Sam's phone suddenly cut off before the taller vampire sat shotgun.

"It's a two-hour drive, Dean. Please don't go _Fast and the Furious_ with our fragile guest here," he commented.

"Ugh, if I wanna be nagged, I'd get married...." scoffed Dean as he sidled into the driver's seat. Castiel nearly flinched when the car was turned on with rumbling roar, his hands fumbled for the seatbelt and clicked it over his chest and waist. The headlights came on, and he noticed that the two brother didn't wear theirs. Maybe it was the fact that they were vampires and wouldn't get hurt so easily. "Since it's gonna be a long drive, I'm gonna pop in some tunes. You don't mind, do you, Cas?"

".... I, um, don't mind the silence either," answered Castiel, though Dean frowned at his indecisiveness while Sam side-eyed his brother for even bothering to ask.

"Well, it's awkward to ride with no music, anyway...." he sighed, decidedly flipping on the radio. The scratchy strumming sound of rock music filled up the car as he drove off, turning onto the obscure dirt road. Castiel couldn't really see beyond the glare of the headlights due to the low seat. And staring out the window was pointless as it was nothing but darkness.

Through the music, he heard the brothers muttering to one another, with Sam shrugging off what Dean was saying to him. It seemed to be serious, since Dean was close to baring his teeth at him before Sam glanced at him and muttered what sounded like reassurance. The priest wondered what they were talking about, until he suddenly felt the vehicle hitting over something. The next thing he knew, Dean revved up the car a little as he turned.

"Tch, you're lucky that there's no other cars on the highway...." sighed Sam.

"Whatever...." Dean scoffed.

The highway....? Now that Castiel thought about it, he could feel the car going over the smooth even surface of the asphalt. But it was still too dark to see. He frowned, ignoring the rambling music as he gazed out the window anyway. How away was he from home, was he in a different state....? He wanted to be aware of his surrounding but after twenty minutes of blurred darkness he was beginning to feel tired.

He must know where exactly are they taking him, at least get a chance to guess of where he was. But it was so difficult to keep his eyes open with every blink he made. He must know....

Glancing at the rear view mirror, Dean noticed that Castiel was slumped in his seat, sleeping soundly with his head leaning against the window. ".... I keep forgetting that humans sleep at night," he sighed. "You think someone might get suspicious of us having a human around?"

"I don't know, but it's not like we hadn't had a human accompany us before," shrugged Sam. "But he's a total stranger to them, they might question it in one way or another."

"Well, they won't question it as long as I'm around," huffed Dean. "I mean, I am the leader, after all."

"Yeah, but you have to work as a leader for real. First this crazy hunter and now this blood bank fiasco, it seems that since Castiel's been around you've been getting bad luck."

"Yeah.... if you think so," he frowned. He chewed his bottom lip, he was feeling partially hungry as he left his last transfusion bag home. He should have snagged some animal blood with his brother but he could hold it down for the time being. But.... the other reason that he was still hungry was that his memory was still on the taste of Castiel's blood this morning.

He didn't show it outwardly but his stomach clenched with need for another hit like that. He hadn't even thought much about that wet dream as it was still fuzzy, but it was the priest's blood that he was secretly craving at the moment. That was all he can come up with. There was no way that he could really lust after Castiel like that. He simply liked the awkward preacher just the way he was.

".... Here, I noticed you only had one bag tonight," Sam offered, giving him a flask he fished out of his jacket pocket.

"Thanks, Sammy-- ugh, you ganked a beaver for this....?" grimaced Dean when he got a whiff of it with his sharp nose.

"Nice, but it's better than having your followers seeing you acting more than the asshole that you are," he grinned lightly. Dean clicked his tongue before chugging down the bitter-tasting animal blood.

"Disgusting as shit...." he grumbled.

"Well, Dean, this is the shit I drink," Sam sighed heavily. "I can't exactly live on liquor and tomato juice for the rest of my life...."

"Yeah.... I know...."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The loud honking sound jolted Castiel awake. Blinking, his blue eyes darted around to notice that soft dim light was filtering in the now parked car. It took a moment to realize that Dean was already stepping out of the vehicle, before Sam came around to the back door and knocked on the window. "We're here, time to wake up...." he said as he opened the door.

"Wha.... where are we....?" he mumbled tiredly. His mind was trying to work into consciousness as he fumbled with his seatbelt.

"The less you know, the better, Cas, remember....?" smirked Dean and his younger brother frowned at him.

"We're already risking it, Dean, so let's hurry it up and get it over with," he sighed.

"Well, you just read my mind, because I don't wanna be here too long either," he shrugged. Shuddering, Castiel managed to step out of the car. The chilly air hit his face as he warily glanced around. They were in a wide dark alley, the car was parked between two large dumpsters. The air was misty from another day of rain, lights from the street seemed to blur in the distance with the obvious sounds of a few cars passing by.

He was so distracted by the surrounding, he flinched when the hood of the large sweatshirt was flopped over his head. "Whatever you do, Cas.... don't freak out," warned Dean, his rumbling tone laced with seriousness as he gripped his wrist. "What's in there is how a lot of vamps operate.... but what you will see in there, you must not react in shock and fear."

"W-why....?" he muttered quietly.

"We can smell fear, Castiel, or rather the sweat being produced due to fear," frowned Sam. "Once you get scared, the others will notice it almost immediately. That would be unusual in where we're going..... the humans that already knew of our world are used to the sight."

What they were saying was much too hard to not be afraid. Looking up, Castiel could see Dean's glowing eyes observing for his reaction as the vampire frowned tightly. If he were to show fear, then he would be in danger. But.... it that were the case, then he shouldn't let it happen to him, as he took a deep breath.

"I.... I won't react with fear, I promised," he nodded.

"Are you sure about that, Cas?" questioned Dean.

"Well.... it will not be any different than Daniel being surrounded by man-eating lions," Castiel pointed out. Dean raised an eyebrow in confusion at the analogy, while Sam merely nodded with a slight smile.

"It's in the bible, in case you didn't know," the taller vampire remarked.

"Oh, that...." frowned Dean, before they walked down the alley, away from the streets. Castiel stumbled a little from being led, narrowly missing a puddle as they turned around a corner. As much as he felt a little apprehensive, he must remember that he was still a priest. He should not fear evil, and evil shall not touch him, as one of his many prayers had taught him. Under the hem of the hood, he saw a dull fluorescent glow as a heavy metal door came to sight at the end of the alley.

Dean stepped forward, pulling Castiel behind him as he pounded heavily on the door. "C'mon, you asshat! We're here!" he called out.

"Nice intro," muttered Sam.

"Shut up," he grumbled, just before he heard the heavy metallic sound of bolts being unlocked. The door opened, revealing a middle-aged man with wild curly dark brown hair. "What the shit? You're still wearing the burned-out rocker look, Boris?" scoffed Dean, and the man laughed heartily at the insult.

"When you live in the eighties, it's hard to let go, Dean," he grinned.

"We did, we called it childhood," he huffed in annoyance.

"Uh, Boris, we're here to figure out about the blood bank, remember?" Sam nodded. "With the refrigeration system breaking down and most of the blood went bad because of it."

"Right, right...." Boris muttered, scratching at his beard.

".... And? Can we come in and fucking see, you stoned-out vamp?" frowned Dean.

"Oh! Right, yeah, that's why you guys are here....!" he realized with a toothy grin.

"Yeah, it's not because I'm taking a piss out here like a drunk hobo," he scoffed. "Let us in or I'll kick you in fucking nuts that you'll be singing falsetto for weeks. Is that so hard to ask?"

"Man, you need to lighten up, Dean," he laughed as stepped aside. Castiel felt the grip on his wrist tightened just slightly before Dean walked ahead, with Sam moving right behind the priest. He breathed as calmly as he could, staring down at the worn-out tiled floor as the vampires walked down a long hallway, not wanting to think the worst that he might see. "Hey.... who's that with you guys? Is he a participant?" Boris asked when he noticed the human.

"No, idiot," frowned Dean.

"Then what? Don't tell me you got a donor, Dean."

"Yeah, I got him on a discount, like a fucking fire sale," he snorted.

"What? No way, you guys are pretty busted the last time I heard," the rocker-like vampire grinned.

"We got a deal, that's all," Sam replied with shrug. "It's a convenience, considering that there's a rogue hunter somewhere in Montana...." Castiel, concentrating on being calm, frowned a little on what Sam had just said. This hunter.... does this person harm vampires? Whoever his was, he sounded rather dangerous to even these brothers.

"He dresses weird, your donor," Boris noted. "He looks like he's wearing a snuggie."

"Damn it, Boris, I just got the goddamn human," Dean growled at him. "Didn't have time to accommodate him, this was the last minute....!"

"Getting to the point, Boris.... how exactly did the system break down, and how much will it cost?" frowned Sam. "And I bet it's a lot, considering it's the whole thing instead of a couple of units...." They made a turn, walking into a large space. Castiel instantly smelled an odd sharp scent of cleaning agents, but he also smelled something putrid behind that. He couldn't help but shudder at the thought of Dean's warning of not showing fear.

He really wanted to look up, to see what was there. As much as he he was wary, he couldn't help but feel curious. But Dean led him to another room, a smaller one, consisted of a very worn-down desk and chair. It seemed safe just to take a peek, but he was moved to sit on the wooden chair with a weak creak. "Boris, explain it to Sam of how the shit happened," ordered Dean, propping himself onto the desk with his body blocking the view of Castiel. "I'll stay around here for a while with my human buddy. Just report me of what's new...."

"You calling your donor buddy? That's awesome, what's his name?" asked Boris.

"His name is Eat-My-Ass, that's what," scowled Dean. "Just hurry up and do it...."

"Damn it, quit being a hard ass, Dean," sighed Sam, taking out the book from his bag. "Here's his book.... I'll give you the update later."

"Whatever," Dean frowned as he took it. Castiel heard the sound of the door closing, followed by a brief silence. It was only moments later did Dean let out a deep sigh. "Good, they're gone...." he muttered, glancing down at the priest. "Good work, Cas, you played it smoothly...." He reached out to pull back the hood, and Castiel glanced up in surprise.

"You were.... acting as well?" he muttered.

"I had to be a hard ass, a pureblood like me can't act lazy around these idiots," he smirked. "It's just my job, but Sammy's the genius out of us two. He's the IT while I'm the executive, that's how we work...." Not exactly getting it, Castiel squinted his eyes in slight confusion before Dean chuckled. "This book.... I've heard about this," he remarked, flipping through _The Hero with a Thousand Face_ out of mild interest.

"Have you....?"

"This one time, Sam mentioned about the concept of the complexity relating to certain heroes but all I heard was blah-blah blah a-blah blah...." he joked, giving the priest the book.

"But this book.... it mentions about biblical heroes, seeing them no different than most modern-day ones," Castiel frowned but Dean merely blinked at him. "Right.... I forgot that you don't have faith, you mentioned it before....."

"There's a different between having faith and being practical and realistic, Padre," he sighed with a frown. "And right now, it wouldn't make any sense to hope on God to help the vamps with their black market blood bank, that's for sure." That would make sense, but Castiel frowned just the same at his constant disregard of religion. Forgetting the book in his hands, he bowed his head and sighed heavily.

"Is there.... a reason why you don't bother to believe in God?" he questioned it.

".... The same reason I don't believe in the tooth fairy or Santa Clause, Cas," Dean replied.

"But-- Don't go around it, I find it disrespectful....!" he frowned in slight annoyance. But he recoiled back when Dean's eyes suddenly glowed at him. The vampire leaned close to him, placing one of his booted feet onto the chair armrest as he let out a warning growl. It was hard to imagine how his mood could flip so instantly but it was obvious that Dean wasn't playing around this time.

"Around here.... you best to learn your place, no donor would dare to talk back to their master like that," he rumbled.

".... But I'm not your donor, remember?" questioned Castiel.

"No, but unless you wanna get your brain pancaked, then I suggest that you act like my little pet and watch your mouth," he growled, baring his sharp teeth at the slightly unnerved priest. "If the other vamps here know that I got a mouthy human who dares to disrespect me, they will question my authority. And in turn.... you will be found out by the other purebloods.... and they will snuff you out like a candle."

".... I thought I'm not allowed to be killed, I am a priest-- a Child of God--"

"Within us purebloods, there are some who will protect the existence of vampires by any means necessary...." frowned Dean. "Even if they found out that you're a priest.... if they were to know that you cannot be compelled, they will wipe away any known existence of your holy ass. Do you really want that to happen to you, Cas?"

"Like I wanted to be held captive by the likes of you?" Castiel challenged. "Or that I wanted to be attacked and had my blood drank?"

"I'm telling you to watch it...." he growled. But Castiel stared back boldly, much like how he dared to do when he questioned him as a monster.

"Thinking about it.... maybe.... I will comply better to your terms, if you had done the one moral thing since holding me against my will," he said pointedly. All of the threatening expression on Dean's face nearly vanished as he blinked in puzzlement.

"Wh-what? What moral thing....?" he questioned.

"It's obvious, isn't it....?" he frowned. "It's been nearly a week, and already I had done nothing but sat around.... and prayed in silence.... hoping that something good will come to it. That my soul will be protected from your demonic nature."

"Oh, this again--" scoffed Dean.

"Why are you so defensive against the Lord's name....? I highly doubt that it's because you're a creature of darkness, since your brother seemed to believe in God," he argued. "But this is going around in circles, it's like you won't truly be honest with yourself and admit guilt for your actions."

"Guilt? I've never felt guilty for being this way, for feeding off humans," he scoffed.

"Yet you tasted my blood this morning," Castiel frowned.

".... That's different--"

"Because you believe my blood's special, that it was the reason why you attacked me in the first place?"

"Yes-- No, I mean, it's because of your smell," rumbled Dean. "I mean, come on, you're a virgin guy. Usually that type rarely attracted me but you.... I can't fucking explain it so easily, Cas. It's not that simple."

".... But it's not so hard that you can apologize for your actions," muttered Castiel.

"Damn it, Cas, I shouldn't apologize for my needs," he huffed. "I admit my mistake but I don't have to say sorry for it."

"Then I cannot forgive you if you don't open up about it," he muttered as he glanced away. "It may go against my teachings but it makes common sense. It won't help you if you're not honest with yourself...."

"But I was honest of thanking you for me that night--"

"Because I was doing the Lord's work when I found you that night with that leg injury," he said with slight indignation. "And how did that injury occur in the first place, from another vampire....?"

"Tch, as if some dumbass vamp would dare to hurt me--" scoffed Dean.

"What leg injury?" The surprised voice of Sam caught the vampire off guard, before he turned his head. Sam appeared offended with a deep frown as he stood in the doorway after opening the door. "Dean, what is he talking about? You were injured when you met him....?" he questioned, his eyes narrowing at him.

"Sam, it's not that big of a deal," Dean huffed.

"Not that-- shit, Dean....!" he frowned. He glanced out to see if anyone else was around before shutting the door behind him. "This leg injury, is that the reason why that Castiel stuck with us in the first place....?" he hissed quietly, and Dean frowned and rolled his eyes.

"Yes and no," he scoffed with slight pettiness.

"What does that even mean, Dean....?" he questioned but his brother shrugged off his annoyance. "Okay then.... Castiel, can you tell me what really happened?" he asked the priest.

"Damn it, Sammy--"

"Don't 'Sammy' me.... If you wanna act like a jerk, then fine," he frowned at him. "I'll ask him, since as a priest he wouldn't lie to me." Dean growled out but shook his head and got up.

"Just do the fuck you want...." he growled, as he left the office with a resounding bang of the door. Sam didn't even flinch by the sound, instead he settled his bag down as he leaned against the old desk.

"Castiel...." he sighed heavily as he glanced at the cautious priest. "I am very sorry.... that I got a fucking asshole for a brother. But he's been, well, a fucking asshole since I've learned how to walk and talk."

"No.... You shouldn't have to apologize on his behalf," Castiel muttered but Sam merely shook his head.

"He's 34 years old yet he acts like he's four with such an impulsive behavior of his," he scoffed. "If anything, he thinks he shouldn't care about his actions just because he's a pureblood. That's always his damn excuse.... So, can you tell me how Dean got injured, if you know anything at all?" Castiel looked at him, sensing a hint of assurance from this one as he nodded.

".... I was working late in my church and decided to go home, when I heard him groaning out in pain in the small graveyard," he sighed. "He at first insisted that he didn't need my help.... but I helped him anyway, wrapping up the leg wound and such."

"A leg wound....?" questioned Sam in surprise. "Did it look.... gruesome, like, he lost plenty of blood?"

"Yes, I asked him if he needed to go to the hospital but he insisted that he didn't want to create a nuisance over his injury," he nodded but he frowned in slight confusion. "Was there a reason why his injury shouldn't look like that....?"

"Plenty...." Sam sighed in slight annoyance. "Did it happen when you were fixing him? The attack?"

"No, he had visited me in the church the next day.... thanking me for helping him," he frowned rather dubiously. "He sounded sincere at the time.... But now.... I find it hard to feel that he's trustworthy after what he had done," he muttered very quietly, rubbing over the smooth scars at the frightening thought of the attack.

"I understand that.... you have every right to be mad at my brother," nodded Sam. "It should be against your religion to hold grudges but this is Dean we're talking about. You're just another person added to the 'I hate Dean' list, and that list is pretty long."

"But I don't want to hate him.... I only want him to be honest about what he had done," frowned Castiel as he glanced at the tall vampire. "Isn't that so hard to ask....?"

"It shouldn't be, Castiel...." Sam frowned in empathy. "All I can do is apologize on his behalf. If he really wanted to say sorry, he would've done it on the night that he drank your blood." Castiel nodded, his fingers trailed around the book on his lap as he then stared ahead.

"He had mentioned about you having.... a sort of anger issue, and yet I can believe that I can trust you more," he whispered and Sam blinked at that.

"You do?"

"Of course.... For some reason, I can sense that you wouldn't harm me," he nodded slightly. "Plus, you offered me comfort with the bible and this book. It.... kind of helps with my predicament...."

"Yeah, you're welcome, Castiel," he smiled lightly with a nod. "Can I ask one favor, though?"

"Yes....?" Castiel said and looked at him.

"You've never addressed me by my name.... It's Sam," he smiled, holding out his large hand. "Sam Winchester, to be exact."

".... Father Castiel Novak," the priest, for the first time since being held captive, put up a small smile as his much smaller one reached out for a handshake.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sam...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

If Dean was seething, it was merely proven by his car barreling down the isolated highway at nearly 85 mph. Castiel, though at first afraid of the high-speed drive, eventually fell asleep after a half an hour. Sam simply stared ahead, knowing that it was one of his brother's petty episodes. They both knew that Castiel revealed the truth of his kidnapping but neither of them talked since leaving the secret blood bank.

In fact, Dean was more embittered at the fact that Sam was showing a neutral expression. But he knew that look far too familiar, he knew that they must discuss it or else Sam would nag him about it if he were to hold it in. ".... I bet you wanna say that you told me so, right?" he grumbled, breaking the silence. Sam didn't respond, but out of the corner of his glowing eye, he could see that the other vampire's jaw muscles were set tightly.

".... Say it, Sam, that I'm a fucking asshole for going at it with a hunter," he scoffed softly. "I fucked up and got slashed with a silver knife. That's how I came across Cas and fed on him. It didn't have to happen, but I got carried away. So go on and say it."

".... What good would it do since you have never bothered to listen in the first place, Dean?" Sam questioned rather calmly, but the undertone was hinted with anger and annoyance. "Castiel's stuck with us, because of your foolish behavior.... Becoming a leader hadn't changed you at all, it only seemed to make it worse. But just the same, I have to clean up after your shit."

"Well, what're you gonna do, you're stuck with me and that's that," frowned Dean.

"That's the thing, Dean.... I think Castiel's right, you can't admit to your fault when it's needed to be," he muttered.

"Cas? What did he say this time....?"

".... He confided in me that he trusts me more, that I have no reason to make him scared of me," he replied quietly but Dean snorted in disbelief.

"Even though you almost hulked out this past weekened?" he scoffed.

"But I didn't attack and kidnap him, and I don't have any reason to feed on him," frowned Sam. "And that's because I'm not the one whose ass is getting chewed out over his impulsive decisions."

"Fuck it, Sam. Can't you just say 'I told you so' and leave it be?" grumbled Dean.

"No, Dean," his younger brother frowned, finally looking at him with disappointment in his eyes. "I know what Castiel told me-- he won't willingly comply to you anymore until you apologize to him. An actual apology, no half-assed excuse that you'll forget an hour later."

"Tch, an apology for what....?"

"You know what," he muttered yet Dean rolled his eyes.

"Since when a vamp has to apologize for drinking blood? That's like a fat guy saying sorry for eating out a buffet," he frowned.

"That's the thing, Castiel wanted to look past that, if you're willing to be honest about it."

"Honesty, that's his problem....?" Dean exhaled and glanced at him. "Well since you two are now bosom buddies, maybe you should be honest and tell him about your condition. Oh, that's right, you don't think it's really a condition, huh?" he huffed. Sam clenched his teeth and let out a low growl. But the older brother knew that he wouldn't react so easily, as he let out a deep sigh. ".... I won't say sorry about it, Sammy. When was the last time I had to cave in to do it, huh? It must've been a long time if I can't remember."

".... October, a little over two years ago," Sam mumbled. Dean blinked at that in slight confusion, wondering what he meant by that.

"October?"

"Around the end of October, close to Halloween.... when _they_ captured us," Sam specified with a low voice. His answer made Dean tighten his fingers over the steering wheel. He knew what he meant.... of what they had been through after years of flitting around the country almost like fugitives.

Before settling in Montana, they couldn't stay in one town for long, knowing that the other purebloods would sniff them out. All because of not only their 'royal' bloodline.... but because of Sam's illness. Like how his little brother looked after him, he made sure that he cleaned up after his mess, covering their tracks whenever the tall vampire had his violent episodes.

He had done everything he can to prevent being caught-- wiping away fingerprints, masking their scents, compelling those who might have witnessed the bloody incidents. Yet somehow, the others were able to know their patterns and tracked them down. He found it both humiliating and terrifying, mostly for Sam's sake, when he was being cornered into an ultimatum back then.

Take his role as a pureblood and become a leader for an unoccupied state.... or risk having Sam to be locked away forever.

Dean swallowed dryly at the remembrance of it. Of them being chained down like beasts, with Sam drugged despite of his episode raging up with bloodlust. Of course he relented, he couldn't act stubborn or proud if it meant losing his only family. ".... I did it to protect you, Sam.... Deep down, I'm still afraid if they catch wind of this," he muttered quietly.

"I know that, Dean...." sighed Sam. "But this devil-may-care attitude has got to stop, I mean it.... You need to step up and take responsibility for this."

"You said it like I got some girl pregnant," he nodded with a slight smile, and his brother snorted out a brief laughter.

"Is there something else you're not telling me?"

"Hey, I hadn't gotten laid for months, I think I would've known...." he sighed before frowning. "But, Sammy.... I.... compared to that, I don't see any reason to apologize to Cas. He needs to realize that vampires like us shouldn't feel sorry for taking someone's blood."

".... You know what, you're right about that, Dean," muttered Sam. "I myself shouldn't feel sorry during those times when I fed on people without you around."

"Don't say it like that--"

"The only reason I'm still with you because your were forced into taking this position, they knew you would relent," he pointed out. "As much as they think that I'm bat-shit crazy, they wouldn't put me on lockdown if they truly wanted to. Not when we agreed to do this one thing while you're playing 'follow the leader'...."

Dean frowned, he had nearly forgotten about the other part of the deal, and so far there had been no leads on it at all. If only.... they had their father around to know more about it. But they had been estranged long before his death, and again it was because of Sam and his illness. It seemed that no matter what, it always centered around his younger brother and he had hated the scrutiny over them.

"So.... what's the news on the busted blood bank?" he changed the subject.

"Well, it turns out that the machines were overheated by poor electrical currents, that's why it broke down," Sam shrugged. "It'll take a while until they fix it up, meanwhile the other vampires here should find a way to get some blood."

"Like how, Sam?"

"You're the leader.... you figure it out," he frowned at him. After that, he fell silent and looked ahead. That was his way of tough love, he won't help unless Dean would own up to his mistakes. But with his stubborn personality, there was good possibility that he would keep it up for a while. He slowed down the car just in time to turn to the obscure dirt road. Castiel was still alseep despite of the bumpy end, when Dean finally parked into the small garage after reaching home.

Sporting a deep frown, the older vampire took off the engine and got out of the car. ".... Take Cas to the house, Sam, I'm taking off," he muttered.

"Huh? Taking off? Where are you going?" Sam questioned in surprise.

"Out to eat," he replied simply, his green-gold eyes glowed intensely as he shut the door.

"Out to-- wait a minute, Dean, you can't just--" Sam stammered as he tried to get out. But the moment he stood up, his older brother was already gone. His own eyes glowed with annoyance, he wondered why Dean would take off like that when the alert of this rogue hunter was still up. "Damn it...."

The thought of going after him was up in his mind for a second or two, he shook it off as he went around the car to open the back door. Castiel was out like a light as he easily lifted him into his arms and walked to the cabin door. "Hm, you're a bit heavier than you look," he sighed, walking in after unlocking it. He then carefully laid him on the couch, the priest's head slumped into the leathery cushions but Castiel didn't stir as Sam quickly but quietly locked the door. It was best to leave him there, as the tall vampire then walked upstairs to his room.

He didn't need to see how neat and organized his bedroom was, with more stocked bookshelves right next to his made bed with a small desk on the other side of the room. He placed his bag on the desk and took off his jacket and placed it there as well. He didn't really get how Dean would find Castiel alluring by his scent, when he only smelled him like he was any other male human. And that blood of his.... it wasn't that unique when he first smelled it, but then again he had been drinking animal blood for so long that it seemed to dull down his vampiric senses.

That was a good thing.... ever since finding out about his condition, he had been trying so hard to control his episodes. So far, he had only three or four since Dean became a leader and it only happened within the safety of the forest. But.... prior to it, he was close to having a sociopathic tendency among humans. He had personally fed on them, but he only went to those he used to deem 'unworthy' in his slightly unhinged mind. But even then.... he had admitted to Dean to the grisly actions he had done every single time, even wondering why he felt this demented to commit such a thing.

_"There's nothing to worry about, Sammy...."_ Dean assured him in a comforting matter, gingerly cleaning off human blood from his face as he always would. When they were hiding out in cheap shady motels after another episode, as usual. _"It wasn't like anybody would miss him that much, right? Guys like that usually have it coming...."_ Through every cleaning, Sam wouldn't respond to his words, just staring blankly in the dingy bathroom.

The only way to snap out of it was when Dean drew his blood from his neck and he would drink, his sanity slowly returning and he would be left with remorse and guilt over the events. _"It's okay, Sammy.... I won't let them take you away for this...."_ The older brother would always say, not showing any pain from his throat being ripped by his fangs as he petted through his hair. _"It's okay.... You didn't do anything wrong...."_

Sitting on his bed, Sam let out a deep sigh and hunched over his lap, his fingers dug through his long tresses. He was never like this.... the condition he had didn't show its ugly face until around high school. Puberty often coincided with vampire powers among the purebloods, and because of it, Sam felt that there was something.... wrong with him, that he was becoming something else.

Then, he wasn't sure if it was because of the constant stress of moving around but for some reason, he was beginning to feel an inhibited amount of rage inside him. And it came out at a worst time when he transferred to a new school for the umpteenth time. Some bully was picking on him just because he was new, and nearly snapped and beaten him bloody.

It hadn't been two weeks since being a student, and already on a verge of being expelled. But Dean-- as the caring brother as he was-- didn't hesitate to compel the teachers and the principal to dismiss over it. He didn't even question about Sam's budding condition, thinking that it was a slight mishap as a result of his powers coming out.

But then the rage came back, a couple years later when the family relocated to Flagstaff in the unoccupied state of Arizona. Sam secretly took in a dog and was happy for once, until a mixblood mistakenly killed his pet one night, thinking that it was a stray. It only took Dean's reassurance as well as his strength that held back Sam from doing worse-- with the foolish vampire able to escape with his life, after the enraged pureblood ripped his bottom jaw off.

That was when their father suspected something about him, instantly starting to treat him differently as a harsh authoritarian instead of a doting parent he used to know growing up. Sam gritted his sharp teeth and exhaled when he remembered it like it was yesterday.... how he and his father argued constantly and even violently over what he was becoming. And how Dean could only stand there and watch, not able to step in and object against the mistreatment.

Instead, his blood could only do so much to take away the pain.... Back to the present, Sam glanced up. He could tell that it was nearly dawn judging by the slivers of light behind the curtains. "...." Dean wouldn't be able to come back in time, he noted, as he moved to take off his clothes saved for his boxers and laid on the bed.

He wasn't worried about being stuck with Castiel. But he was concerned if he were to go beserk in front of him, when the priest admitted of trusting him more than Dean. Not many people, human or vampire, would be willing to befriend him no matter how nice and helpful he truly was. And those who befriended him would always end up getting hurt. Or worse....

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It was after four-thirty in the afternoon, but Dean could hear the soft chirping sound of birds about a few blocks away. He stared tiredly at the ceiling, noticing the hairline crack by the light fixture, before he felt a slight movement next to him on the bed. After months of sexual repression, Dean finally decided to use the benefits of being a pureblooded leader and slept with one of his followers. A mixblood blonde female who didn't seem to mind of his arrogant attitude.

Then again, there were those who wouldn't pass up the opportunity of sleeping with an elite member of their society-- like that repulsive Ruby with Sam. But this was simply an one-night stand, nothing more, as Dean slowly sat up and stretched out his arms. "Hmm...." There was no reason to stay here any longer, as he got off the bed and put on his clothes.

That was what he needed, to blow off some steam after last night's confrontation from both Castiel and Sam. Unlike the last time, the priest actually had the nerve to say that he won't act compliant until Dean makes a honest apology and his own brother agreed. But he was honest himself, as he saw no reason of doing so since it was the nature of the vampire. The only difference was that he made a mistake of attacking a priest and he only admitted to that.

But to apologize seemed unnecessary, he thought of it. He may have human acquaintances but by the end of the day they were still part of the food chain. ".... You're leaving already?" muttered the woman who sat up, catching his attention.

"Got something to do, it's kinda urgent," he partially lied, not really want to make small talks as he buckled his belt before reaching for his boots.

"Are you sure? I got some spare bags if you wanna wait around until the sun set--"

"Nah, my brother's waiting for me to do some business shit so I can't be late," he muttered. The mention of Sam made the mixblood instantly frown uncomfortably, and Dean noticed that. Of course the reputation of his little brother's dark moody behavior had been known in most of the vampire communities since long before he had become a leader. They would never say it out loud but the rumors around Sam weren't hard to miss.

"Do you.... wanna meet up again?" she questioned.

"Well... we'll see, sweetheart," nodded Dean. But it wasn't a promise since he knew he wouldn't keep, putting on his boots then grabbing for his jacket.

"You could take some blood in my fridge if you want, unless.... you want something else in particular...." The way she bared her neck was submissive, but Dean wasn't really paying attention to her offering. He had only done it during their fling but that was it, as he merely shrugged.

"Nah, but thanks for the snack on the go...." he muttered dismissively, leaving her bedroom. Just like that, he was unapologetic over his actions. There was no reason to be Mr. Nice Guy if nobody else would really respect him or his brother. Grabbing a couple of transfusion bags and hiding it within his inside pocket, he left the apartment building.

He nearly hissed in discomfort at the sun rays shining through the clouds and squinted his eyes. He had forgotten his sunglasses back home, as he walked briskly through the streets in some small town. Not that it mattered, it was another hour and a half until nightfall. Walking alongside the shadows of shops and boutiques, he took out his phone and checked for messages.

But Sam didn't bother to text him to see if he was doing okay. Another tough love from him. "Fucking damn it...." he scowled under his breath. But Castiel might be awake at the moment. Maybe the vampire should.... No, wait, the priest was practically pissed off at him. Even if he bothered to bring him food, it wasn't enough to settle things between them.

But Dean could be just as stubborn if he wants to, as he reached the edge of town. Nobody was around to see him suddenly running straight into the forest in a blur. Within a half an hour, he soon slowed down as he saw the cabin. He didn't go in yet, instead he paced around the property. The thick branches filtered what was left of the diminishing sunset, the scenery of the woods colored with deep gold and brown with no budding sign of Spring being around the corner.

Dean inhaled the scent of earth and moss as he took out one bag and began to drink. He must find a way to keep on eating despite of the blood bank crisis and well as that hunter who might still be around. He might have to let his pride down for a while and feed on animals. As he strolled around the back, he noticed the curtain for the kitchen window was pulled back. He blinked in slight confusion, but he could see Castiel by the table.

At least he didn't have to feed him when he noticed him eating. But Castiel paused in his meal and looked at something over his shoulder, before Dean suddenly heard the familiar sound of the door bolts being unlocked. ".... Either you're still sulking about last night or you'd rather be out here. Either way, you're avoiding the subject if you're not coming in," muttered Sam.

".... Can't I just enjoy nature?" grumbled Dean as he came back around.

"Only when you have to take a piss behind a tree," frowned Sam, tapping his fingers against the doorframe. But his brother wouldn't look him in the eye as he took a sip of blood and kicked his heels at the damp ground. "So, where did you get that, Dean....?" he questioned.

"Oh this? I whored myself for a bag of blood," he grinned. "You know I'm desperate when a leader like me has to act like a slut for those got their own stash." But his humor failed when Sam just frowned at him, and he frowned back. "How long are you gonna make a bitch face at me, Sam?"

"You tell me, Dean.... Or you can tell me later after I go make a run," he sighed, yawning with his sharp teeth bared as he walked past him.

"Wha-- now?"

"I've been starving, asshole, and I've been up since two in the afternoon," he muttered. "Hurry up and go in. Unless you're that afraid to talk to Cas...."

"Wha--" Dean turned around to see his younger brother already gone. "Aw, fuck it....!" he grumbled. Now he was stuck with the human, for who knows how long considering that Sam often runs errands after feeding, and animal blood would take a long time to get if Sam had been hungry for that long.

He stood outside for a few minutes, hearing that Castiel hadn't gotten up to see him and resumed eating. Either the human knew better than to try to escape, or simply waiting for him to cave in and talk to him. To be frank, Dean hoped that he could have chosen the former, at least that would have been easier to deal with. Huffing, he finally stepped in and closed the door.

Castiel didn't bother to look up, not until the vampire quietly stepped up to the table. "Hm.... you got burrito this time, huh?" he smirked lightly, poking at the paper food bag.

".... Sam was generous enough to buy this for me," muttered Castiel, looking at him briefly before picking at the mostly eaten tortilla. "He suggested that I get better nutritional options than just burgers, something like that...."

"Since when shitty beans and sour cream are better, Cas?" he joked. But the priest didn't reply as he resumed eating, and Dean's smirk dropped. Guess that wouldn't work.

"Does it taste good, though? Judging by the bag it looks like it's from one of those fancy Mexican places," he said, shrugging off his jacket and dumping it on the table.

"I wouldn't know, but it tastes fine to me...." Castiel merely replied. Hearing his simple answers made Dean frown uncomfortably. He didn't like how this was going, as he drank the last of the blood.

"Man...." he sighed, putting the other transfusion bag into the fridge and took out a couple of beer bottles in exchange. "So.... Sammy told me that you wanna act like a dick toward me since I acted like a dick toward you. Does that sound about right?" he asked as he sat right across from the priest.

"I don't understand your terms correctly but.... Sam made it clear to me that your lack of manners is something I am allowed to pass judgment on," Castiel remarked.

"Pass judgement on....? Tch, you're talking like the priest that you are, is that how's it gonna be?" frowned Dean, biting off the cap before guzzling down half of the fizzy burning liquid.

"Like I said, I don't wish to act like your personal prisoner as long as your disregarding behavior is present," he frowned at him. "I don't understand why you can't accept responsibility for your actions, that you think that you are immune to the possible backlash of your kind."

"My kind?"

"Vampires, yes, if there are truly more of you purebloods," Castiel frowned rather sternly at him. Dean narrowed his eyes at him, there was a sense of defiance coming from him like last night but the human didn't look like he would hold it back now that they were in the privacy of the cabin.

"You know what I don't understand.... is that why you haven't called me by my name since being here," he muttered lowly. "I mean, you used to do on the first day that we had met even though I used an alias--"

"Because I thought you were a nice man who needed help, despite of your personal misgivings," he countered. "What's the point of making 'nice' with me when you don't even respect me? Is it because I'm considered food to you....?"

"Well, a talking food that's acting a little bitchy right now, yeah," scoffed Dean.

"Am I really....?" By now, Castiel had already finished his meal as he folded up the foil. "Then.... if I am food, then why don't you feed on me? You can do it at anytime you want...." That made Dean frown in puzzlement. A second later, he put down his beer and got up. Castiel leaned back in alarm when the vampire then dragged his chair forward and sat right in front of him.

"Mind saying that again, Padre....?" he rumbled lowly, his eyes glowed as he exhaled slowly.

"I am not afraid of you," frowned Castiel, staring right back. "You said that you rather not let something like guilt to make you do the right thing. So why wouldn't you dare to feed on me again?"

"Isn't it obvious, Cas?"

"Is it because I'm the Man of the Cloth? No, you already attacked me the first time regardless of my profession," Castiel debated with furrowed eyebrows. "Maybe it's the fact that your brother would know if you were to feed on me. Would he be disappointed in you if you were to do that?"

"Look, Sam can mind his business over what I do," he frowned before smirking a little. "And buddy, you're not the first guy I fed on that my baby brother disapproved of. I mean, I had a taste of a handsome FBI agent while staying in one town some years back. And I gotta say.... he gave me a whole new meeting of a thorough cavity search...."

His lewd comments didn't seem to faze Castiel, who sported a stern frown as he stared straight at his eyes. "Even if you weren't a vampire, your immorality is downright appalling under the eyes of the Lord," he frowned.

"Really? I have never feel disgusted from the-- oh, how many can I count? Handjobs, blowjobs, threesomes with either guys or girls or both, a little bit of assplay-- to name a few," he grinned but the priest didn't react to it at all. "What? You'd think you would act flustered and grossed out over smut like this since you're a virgin."

"It's not different than listening to confessions of my patrons, and I've heard worst," he frowned. Dean blinked at that, briefly wondering what kind of dirty secrets this human had heard, before letting out a light chuckle.

"You wanna hear worse, Cas?" he smirked, leaning impersonally close to Casitel's undaunted face. "You wanna hear my own terrible confession, of all the sins I've done....?" he rumbled, his warm breath mingled with a tangy mix of alcohol and blood.

"You're patronizing me...." muttered Castiel.

"You're fucking right I am...." he grinned. "You see.... I initially thought it was a result of tasting your blood, when I had a couple of these dreams. But maybe these dreams may be onto something, you know?"

"What are you saying?"

"You really are an attractive son of a bitch, Padre.... Aside from your blood, I can't believe that you're letting yourself go for this sexless profession of yours," teased Dean.

"How's that any of your business--"

"You were in my dreams, Cas, and trust me-- I did a little more than _just_ drinking your blood. If you catch my drift," he smirked. Now Castiel reacted by his meaning, with his blue eyes widened as a flush of mortification filled up his face and neck. "Ah, now we're getting somewhere--"

"I cannot believe this....! You're lying....!" he scoffed in disbelief.

"Afraid not.... I didn't remember much, but just enough to make me cum in my sleep," chuckled Dean, seeing Castiel becoming redder at his proclamation. Whether it was out of embarrassment or frustration, he didn't really care, though the priest was breathing deeply to calm himself.

"Your temptation's just a dream.... Nothing more...." he muttered with his voice strained.

"But that's the thing, I only had the dreams simply because I had been having a bit of a dry spell...." Dean smirked, his sharp teeth flashed deviously. "And with you being untouched, it only made sense that I would dream of having someone like you."

"You disgust me...." frowned Castiel.

"Is that right?" The priest barely had a chance to move out of the way, when Dean suddenly straddled over his lap. Castiel let out a sharp horrific gasp and reacted by shoving at his chest. But it was like trying to move a brick wall, before the vampire gripped at his chin. "Maybe I should be punished for this, Padre? What does make this, about fifty Hail Marys or so?" he chuckled.

"S-stop talking blasphemy....!" he scowled.

"You're right about that, too bad I'm not afraid of going to Hell," he grinned. He leaned so close to him, his lips nearly ghosted over the slightly dry ones before inhaling the fearful scent coming out of him. "You're right about one thing, Cas.... I am a disregarding asshole, I've rarely think of the consequences for my actions. So who's to say that I should feel bad about this right now, grinding on this virgin dick of yours?"

_SMACK!_

It stung, surprisingly, but it was as surprising that Castiel had suddenly smacked him across the face. The force of it did caught him off guard, that he tasted a bit of his own blood in his mouth. ".... Fucking damn, I didn't expect that," he growled, glaring down at the stunned priest. But it wasn't anger in his eyes, instead he was more amused by his actions as he then smirked. "You're not afraid of me anymore, Padre, aren't you....?"

".... I shouldn't be, God is on my side and always will be...." Castiel gritted, his hand ached from the slap. It was like solid steel underneath the vampire's flesh. But it left a good bruise on his cheek, as Dean worked his bottom jaw.

"Well.... Guess that's a good thing...." he sighed. He then got off his lap, but he still got his grip on him, staring at the defiant blue eyes. "You might wanna know one thing, though.... I might have to feed on you, Cas, sooner or later."

".... Because of that black market blood bank going bad, correct?" he muttered.

"Quite a coincidence, huh?" he smirked lightly.

"You cannot, not with Sam knowing--"

"Let's get this straight, Cas.... Sam can't do shit about it," he said, his smirk instantly vanished. "I'm considered a leader here, so if I wanna drink your blood, he has no choice but to stand by and watch."

"Really now....? You're only talking big, I can tell that you're only asserting yourself now that a hostage like me wouldn't act so submissive toward someone like you," frowned Castiel. "Maybe you need to think twice about kidnapping a human who's not scared of you." Dean's mood shifted at that, his frown tightened as the glow in his eyes intensified. He leaned close to him, noting that the priest's heartbeats were getting a little faster. Castiel wasn't afraid, but he was truly wary of what was coming to be.

"You really want me to prove it, Cas....?" he rumbled. "Get up.... I'm still a little hungry." The threatening tone was evident this time, and Castiel's eyes widened when he was suddenly gripped by his shoulders. He was then pulled to his feet before being forcibly led for the stairs.

"I don't care what you'll do to me, God will protect me," he winced from the tight grip.

"Yeah, yeah, and Jared Leto and his Jesus-looking ass will protect you also," frowned Dean as he pushed him up the stairs. "In the bathroom, hurry up...." he growled, his anticipation for this was making his body doing flip-flops with eagerness. Castiel winced when he was shoved into the room. He tried to breathe as calmly as he could, though now his heart was beating faster now that the vampire locked the door.

".... What are you going to do to me?" he muttered weakly, as Dean stepped up to him.

"First.... take off your shirt," rumbled Dean.

"What....?"

"I don't want any blood on it, it only makes sense," he muttered. Castiel took a step from the him, his back pressed against the wall but his hands couldn't move to do so. "Hmm, guess you were wrong.... you _are_ afraid, because of what had happened the last time," he growled softly.

"I'm not...." His throat constricted suddenly, when the priest remembered of Dean pinning him down with bloodlust in his eyes. Dean noticed his frozen stupor and used the opportunity to grasp at his shirt. He was glad that it was a button-down as he plucked it off one by one. "P-please...."

"What're you afraid of, Cas....? If you don't calm down, there's no telling that you'll turn out okay," purred Dean. He pulled back the shirt, revealing the flawless pale skin of his chest and stomach, just like in his dreams. "I gotta say.... a moment ago, you were acting so high and mighty, that you think you would get away with mouthing me off," he rumbled, roughly shrugging off the article. "You're just like me, not thinking of the repercussions.... It's all right that you don't forgive me. Fuck, I don't even care if you hate my ass. But you're mine now, Cas, since your god didn't save you."

"S-stop saying that.... I will still be saved, no matter what," muttered Castiel.

"And until that happens, you're my little blood bitch," growled Dean, his nostrils flaring at the fear rolling off the priest's skin. His hand reached to touch the stubble-covered cheek and Castiel nearly flinched by it, before gripping around the jaw and pushed his head to the side. The small jagged scars were his doing, and for once he felt rather proud that he had marked him like this.

He was his, as Dean leaned down to his throat and nuzzled against the smooth skin. Castiel let out a quivering gasp when Dean then trailed his tongue over the scars. "Please...." he breathed, wincing in digust of him lapping the skin.

"Please nothing.... you brought this onto yourself, Cas," he purred deeply.

"I've done nothing wrong, unlike you...." muttered Castiel. Dean chuckled before deciding to suck at the skin right at the junction of the human's neck and shoulder. "Ahh....!" he gasped sharply, he pushed at him in vain but Dean didn't mind of his protest. Instead, he reacted by grinding his thigh between his legs "Ah, what're you doing....?!"

"You're such a fucking prude...." chuckled Dean.

"Don't you dare.... pull me into this sinful action," he gasped.

"That's practically the same thing you said in my dreams, Padre," he smirked, rubbing the leg against his obviously lax crotch and Castiel grimaced. "Don't worry about it so much, I only want your blood. If I really wanna fuck you, I'd do it where Sammy won't judge me. Like out in the woods or maybe in some shady motel...."

"You truly are the devil if you think you can taint me like this....!" Castiel gasped in utter disgust.

"Oh, but in my dreams, you were fucking enjoying it," he purred, his breath wavering by the priest's ear. "You were moaning my name like I was a god, taking my dick so eagerly.... Funny how a dream like that reminded me how bored I was before having you around...."

"No.... you're lying, I will never relent to you in that way...." he gritted and Dean chuckled a little.

"I once turned a guy into playing for the other team, what makes you think I won't do the same with you?"

"I am not like that--"

"Right, because you're a priest, you're not even allowed to bang a couple of chicks," he grinned, his sharp teeth extending. "Like I said, I got that charm that no one can truly resist.... And you won't be any different, Cas...."

"No-- Ahh....! Ahhh...!" Castiel gasped out when Dean finally bit him, the fangs puncturing the skin on his left shoulder. His fingers gripped at the vampire's shirt as he tried to push him away again. But the press against his crotch was firmly in place and he winced as he felt his blood gushing out.

"Hmm...." Dean groaned practically in pleasure, the delicious thick essence poured over his tongue as he took the first gulp. It was just like the first time, remembering the purity of it, the taste likened to dark brandy since it was the closest thing he could compare it to.

But this time, Castiel didn't struggle too much. But he was still frightened of what was happening to him, as he panted heavily with his widened blue eyes staring at the ceiling. He wasn't being attacked like the first time but to be cornered like this.... "I said don't fucking panic...." growled Dean as he glared at him. Dark red liquid was drooling down his chin, the sight of this monster like this was truthfully scary in Castiel's teary eyes.

It hurt, the pain in his shoulder was too much to bare. But if he won't be able to get through this one ordeal, then he wouldn't be strong enough to endure for when Dean wanted to feed on him again and again. He couldn't do that.... that was the point of his Catholicism, he has to be strong. "O-okay...." he whimpered softly. Closing his eyes, he nodded and calmed down a little with a deep but quivering breath. Hot stinging tears threatening to leak out but he mustn't let his fear show up.

He winced when the fangs sank back in, but he let go of Dean's shirt and his arms dropped heavily to his sides. In the small quiet bathroom, the only sounds heard were the priest's shaky breathing and his attacker's muffled gulping and groaning. Dean let go of his jaw and settled his hands on his waist. It felt disturbingly comforting when his thumbs rubbed small circles on his skin, but Castiel breathed as evenly as he could.

He was feeling lightheaded by the minute, either by this progressing bloodloss or by the smell by his own blood in the air, he wasn't sure. But Dean seemed to sense it, and stopped with a deep orgasmic sigh. "Fuck...." he growled in satisfaction, lapping over the wound. "Mmm, that was so fucking good.... you're so good, Cas...."

"...." Castiel snifled in abhorrence and revulsion, the urge to lurch out his lunch was strong as he felt his throat constricting tightly.

"Come here.... Easy, Padre," purred Dean, gently leading him to sit on the edge of the tub. He then turned on the cold water and soaked a hand towel. Castiel shuddered when the vampire compressed the towel onto the shoulder, but Dean held him still. ".... You still panicked, your heart kept jumping around like crazy," he murmured, as if scolding a little kid.

But Castiel barely heard him, the sharp pain was evident. It was real. He challenged him to drink his blood and this was what happened. He snifled a couple of times before a tear finally trailed down his cheek. If Dean noticed it, it didn't show as he moved away to open the medicine cabinet.

"It should stop bleeding by now...." he rumbled, taking out a roll of gauze before going back to the priest. Castiel glanced up to see him crouching in front of him. There was still blood-- his own-- drying on Dean's chin and his green-gold eyes were still glowing. It wasn't right to be bitten like that, to be manhandled just to be prove Dean's dominating powers. He looked away abysmally, wincing when the gauze was wrapped around his shoulder before Dean stood up and stepped away.

".... So what now? You'll feed on me whenever you please....?" he muttered weakly.

"That depends.... you'll be a good little prisoner from now on, Cas?" he rumbled, looking at his reflection. That was obviously a trick question; Sam would know the change of his behavior yet he didn't want to be belittled as a piece of meat.

".... I still believe that God will protect me no matter what, I still have my faith-- something that you'll never understand," he muttered. Dean glanced at him very briefly, before licking his lips and then washing his face.

"You're right about that, I don't need to understand that shit," he muttered. "Not like God had done anything for me in my entire fucking life...." Castiel frowned lightly, wondering what he meant by that. He swayed a bit, the nausea was still there before Dean gripped at his good shoulder. "You wanna lie down, Cas?" he asked.

"Don't.... please don't act so concerned about me," he mumbled weakly. "I am your prisoner, it's not like you care...."

"Hm, well I care that you don't drop dead on me, I only took about a pint of blood outta you," he muttered.

"It doesn't matter, I still won't give in to your temptation," he frowned tersely. Dean stared hard at him for a moment or two, but the glow in his eyes was gone as he then smirked.

"My temptation? There are five ways of temptations I can go with, and this is simply temptation number two," he grinned. "And temptation number two is already giving me temptation number one right now. Care to find out why, Cas?"

"You-- just leave me alone, please.... you've already done worse to me," scoffed Castiel.

"That wasn't the worse, I am the one who makes sure that you're still breathing unlike the other purebloods," Dean pointed out. "I'm not kidding.... be a good little prisoner, and you won't fucking piss us off. Is that too hard to understand?" Feeling his gut clenching with detest, Castiel glanced at him and very reluctantly he nodded.

"Fine...." he muttered.

"Good, Cas, that's the smart decision...." smirked Dean, pulling out his phone from his jeans pocket. He texted very rapidly, then five seconds later he got a reply before texting again. "The fuck, Sam? Just do what I say, bitch...." he grumbled as he got another reply. He did one more text before putting it away, not responding to the buzz in his pocket as he gripped at Castiel's arm.

"What were you telling him....?" muttered the priest when he was forced to his feet. He briefly felt a case of vertigo as he was led out of the bathroom after Dean unlocked the door.

"I told you that Sammy can't do anything about this, that I wanna drink from you," he muttered. "I ordered him to grab some iron pills and any other shit to keep you from getting anemia. If he has any say against this, he could just say it but nothing else. But since you _trust_ him, no doubt he wouldn't let you get sick just to spite me."

Castiel frowned grimly, that much was true. It went the other way around, when Sam trusted him enough to leave him in the cabin for an hour to get him lunch. That was something both of the brothers agreed, not to leave him alone, yet Sam clearly was brave enough to go behind his brother's back. ".... That would be a shame, wouldn't it?" he muttered quietly and Dean glanced at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Not as shameful as my brother leaving you alone here. I figured that part out the moment I saw you inhaling that burrito," frowned the vampire, leading the surprised priest to the office. "Now sit there and shut up for a while.... I'll give Sam a piece of my mind," he ordered, pushing him onto the chair. The threatening tone was evident, it was serious since there was nothing Castiel can do about it. Dean turned his head to the door just slightly, just before his eyes glowed.

It was barely a second, but he was out the office with a slam of the door and the priest flinched at that. But he knew what was coming, now that he heard a distant sound of the bolts unlocking. Like that time with that Ruby girl, sounds of loud voices arguing with one another could be heard, obviously about him.

"You left him alone....?!"

"You didn't come back in time--"

"What I do is my fucking business....!"

"And like always, you do some stupid shit, Dean! And what was it this time, banging some girl for the day?"

"So the fuck what....?!"

"You're giving me crap about me being with Ruby yet you get to have one-night stands with anyone you want--"

"Whatever, did you get the shit...?" The voices quieted down just a little, but it made Castiel nervous. He wouldn't want Sam to get in trouble just for one slip-up, but he didn't have a reason to escape out of the house. These vampires could easily track him down and stop him before he could even take a step out.

".... I don't give a shit that it was daylight, Sam! Just don't leave him alone, he'll try to do it--"

"Okay, Dean, geez! I get it....!" Castiel flinched slightly when the office door opened and Sam stepped in. The tall vampire's eyes instantly zoomed in on the bandage on his shoulder and frowned disapprovingly, his hand holding a heavy plastic bag as he placed it on the desk. ".... Can I ask what exactly happened, Castiel?" he asked.

".... It was my fault--"

"No, it couldn't be, my.... _fucking_ asshole of a brother is now considering feeding on you," he grumbled, nearly gritting his sharp teeth as he scratched through his hair. "I can't believe this.... If it hadn't been for that blood bank crap, I highly doubt he would dare to make this decision."

"Even if that hadn't.... I still questioned him, that he was afraid of biting me and drinking my blood because of the consequences that would come afterwards," Castiel shook his head.

"Tch, that was the problem, Dean wouldn't back down from a challenge in any way," Sam frowned. "But.... if you say like that, then technically you offered yourself to him. That was a bad move you had pulled off. When a human does that.... there's no way to get out of it. That's usually what happened to donors, Castiel."

"Oh.... Oh Lord, what have I done....?" Castiel grimaced in realization. He rubbed his hands over his face, as if trying to get out of a dream but it was true. Even if it was a daring challenge, he didn't realize that he had just bargained himself with the devil.

"Hey, hey.... it's all right, Castiel," reassured Sam with a concerned frown.

"It's not.... I have to offer my blood to him whenever he wants it...." he muttered grimly.

"He wouldn't risk you being anemic every time he wants to drink," he sighed. "That's why he made me get these iron supplements for you.... Another chunk of cash down the hole."

".... I'm sorry...."

"It's not your fault, Castiel," sighed Sam. "But at least I'm doing something, though I feel like a damn housekeeper around here. Other than the iron, I got vitamins to keep your strength up. Also.... do you eat dark green vegetables?"

"I don't mind...."

"Ah, that's good," he smiled lightly. "I know Dean's my older brother and in a way, I couldn't really do much about what he's doing with his shit. But I can be just as much as a hard ass on him, and right now I'm gonna bitch at him to earn some money to compensate our little savings."

"It's.... quite all right.... It's just hard to acknowledge the fact of what I've done," frowned Castiel, reaching up to gingerly touch his shoulder. "But.... I really shouldn't feel so cornered. I just.... need to keep praying to God, every day, until I'm saved, right....?"

"That's good to know...." Castiel noticed him leaving and frowned lightly. Sam doesn't even feel repulsive by his proclamation of faith while Dean seemed to despise his god with hidden disdain. He wondered why the older vampire would feel that way. It was something he wasn't sure he wanted to know, but he was still concerned about this verbal contract he had mistakenly made.

He wondered.... how many days could he endure this, as long as he was considered 'missing' in the news. That is, if Dean bothered to update him on the news. No doubt that the vampire wanted to keep him for his blood from now on, something he was truly afraid of.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

Read and review.

I'll update ASAP!


	6. Warm Bodies

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 6- Warm Bodies**

It had been barely three hours since he had drank Castiel's blood, but Dean still felt an arousing euphoria within his body. Even though Sam had forced him to go to town to earn some money, his mind going on a topsy-turvy on the untainted taste of it. It was rather difficult to sit properly when he challenged a couple of ignorant guys for a game of poker. His jeans felt so tight around his crotch area, but he kept a charming smirk and a bit of his compelling powers as he won a few games of poker in one bar.

But in the back of his mind, he wondered how Castiel was doing. That priest was probably regretting his words of offering his blood, even if it wasn't intended. But it was an offering nonetheless. Now Castiel would have no choice to sit there and get fed on like a donor to their employer. But at least he will give him a benefit of a doubt and wouldn't exactly drink his blood on a daily basis. It was more fun to savor it at least two or three times a week.

However, he still needed to deal with the predicament in his territory. His followers knew of the blood bank being repaired, and having to hunt on humans was on a strict minimum. He wasn't sure if that rogue hunter was still around, but it was better to play safe than sorry. Just wait for another weekend, he had thought about it, maybe by then Bobby would have something.

"Heh.... Looks like I got lucky again, a fucking flush," he grinned as he laid out the cards and the other men groaned in disbelief. "Great, thanks a lots," he smirked, taking the crumpled pile of dollar bills. "You wanna try another round....?"

"No, I'm stumped...."

"Me too, I'm busted."

"Aw, too bad, guess I need someone else to play with," Dean smirked as the men left the table. He quickly counted his earnings, just a little over 500 bucks. It wasn't enough to cover their expenses, though. He might have to go to another bar for more money, maybe playing some pool. At least something that could distract him from the 'blood-boner' he had been having.

".... Is this seat taken?" "Nope, but do you wanna play a game to see if...." Dean glanced up at the newcomer, and the vampire instincts within him instantly hackled up. His fangs threatened to extend but he held it back with a low growl. But his green-gold eyes glowed under the dim light as the familiar man sat across from him. ".... You must be a dumb fucker to come across me after what you've done," he gritted lowly.

But the man wasn't scared of his threatening tone, as he leaned back in his seat. No one was paying attention to the two staring down at one another, not even the waitress seemed to notice it when she walked by the table. "Can I get you two something?" she asked.

"Just a bottle of beer, sweetheart...." rumbled Dean, continuing to glare at the man.

"Make that two, if you don't mind," said the guy.

"Okay then...." Once the lady was gone, Dean exhaled heavily. His knuckles cracked as the fingers curled into fists under the table. So this man was still around.... he must have been waiting for any sign of vampire attacks all this time, knowing that Dean would react to his actions. ".... Is there a reason why you're still around, after you killed off four of my guys, not to mention that you slashed at my leg?" he growled.

"What can I say? Monsters are monsters, they wouldn't be missed in any way," nodded the man.

"You think so, huh?"

"There are not much vampires in this state, it's practically easy to pick out those who prey on humankind," he replied and Dean scoffed at that.

"This state is my territory, you fucking douchebag.... you're a hunter, you should only hunt those who fucks up on both ends," he frowned. "You're just simply murdering those who needs to eat--"

"They kill humans in order to eat. They're monsters, simple as that," the hunter calmly argued.

"We only kill those who dare to kill humans, that's the responsibility of the state's leader," Dean growled. "And speaking of which.... Hi, I'm Dean Winchester, the pureblood leader of the state of Montana. The one who got nearly ganked by your ass." By now, the waitress had come by and left the bottles on the table before going away. The hunter, who remained neutral over the confrontation, merely raised an eyebrow in slight surprise.

"You, a leader....?" he muttered. "Aren't vampire leaders a little more.... decent and well-dressed....?"

"As if I'm gonna walk around in a goddamn monkey suit like those assholes," he exhaled. "And what about you? I should know whose head I'm gonna twist off if he keeps on killing off my guys. That's pretty much the rule between both parties, doncha think?"

"Is that right....?" Dean narrowed his glowing eyes as he heard the hunter's gun cocked underneath the table. Nobody else was aware of it, since they were either drunk or stupid to notice the stand-off. "Do you wish to do it now, vampire? Or when you have me cornered out in the alley? Either way, you can't do a thing as long as there are witnesses around and I seriously doubt that you can compel them all into forgetting."

"You got that right, asshole," frowned Dean. "But still.... you need to tell me your name. Because, buddy, I already got friends who happen to be hunters like you. And they know that they can't do shit if and when I get my hands on you. Again, that's the rule between the two parties."

"Fine then.... it's Gordon Walker," the hunter finally answered with a slight frown. "Satisfied now?"

"Not really, since you got your gun aiming right at my balls," he growled lowly. "Just put it away, or else you'll be in a world of hurt. And I can make it look like a couple of guys duking out instead of me bashing your brains all over this table, and that's just being lenient outta me...." He waited, twisting off the cap and drank his beer as he leaned back in his seat.

"Well, since you ask nicely, fine...." Gordon sighed, discreetly putting away his weapon.

"Isn't that so hard....?" frowned Dean. "So.... Gordon Walker, now I won't forget that name, not with a price on your head. So here's what we're gonna do.... You are gonna fucking leave this state and not come back. If I find out that you're still sniffing around here, I'll let my little brother sic you out and eat you. I may be the leader but he's pretty vicious, a lot more than me, like a pitbull with fangs."

"Is that right--"

"Of course I'm right," he now grinned, his sharp teeth flashed briefly, but his expression was still dark with his threats. "I am being lenient here, I'm giving you a chance to leave now, or else I'll call up my own version of the Scooby Gang and we'll have a grand old time." The hunter huffed out a short laughter and shook his head.

"You know my name and my face.... It seems sensible to leave if there's a bull's eye on my back," he muttered quietly. "Fine. I will leave tomorrow morning-- the safest thing to do, since you vampires need to sleep and all."

"Good to know, Mr. Walker," smirked Dean, taking out a ten from his winnings and placed it on the table. "Accept my generosity, since this is the one and only time I'm letting you go...." Getting up, he left the bar quickly as he took out his phone. Now he got something, dialing on a familiar phone number.

".... Bobby, hey. I just found out who our Sling Blade is...." muttered the vampire after it was answered.

"Huh? The hunter?"

"Yeah.... you ever heard of the name Gordon Walker?"

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Feeling the sharp pain jarring in his shoulder, Castiel hissed as he suddenly woke up. He grasped at it, wincing when he tried to roll onto his stomach. Instead, he sat up on the air mattress and let out a painful gasp. "God...." he mumbled. He looked around the dark cabin, barely sure of what time it was. But it was probably in the late afternoon as the brothers were still sleeping.

He went asleep after Dean left the house, the minor bloodloss left him lethargic and he was out like a light. At least until he woke up with this pain, as Castiel took a deep breath. He still felt a little ill from what Dean had done to him. He shivered when he felt a film of cold sweat on his skin, but when he touched his shoulder again, the fabric of his shirt felt more damp.

It was hard to see, but he pulled his hand back and saw dark stains on his fingers. "Blood....?" he muttered in surprise. It must be, the bandage probably didn't hold up during his sleep. Getting to his feet gingerly, he went upstairs for the bathroom. And he was right.... dabs of blood was seeping through the fabric, and by the looks of it, it seemed fresh.

Frowning dreadfully, he slowly took off the shirt, noticing the bandage had unraveled. The wound was wicked to look at, but it looked different than from the one on his neck when he was first bitten. Maybe it was because Dean was more careful, but it didn't make him feel any better.

He was now stuck with the fact that the vampire will feed on him, but he wasn't sure if he would have to do it everyday, as he gingerly touched around the slight purple bruises. Suddenly, he was startled by a soft knocking of the door he left open before Sam stepped in.

The tall vampire appeared very lethargic, his eyes barely opened but he turned his head to Castiel blinked at him in surprise. ".... The.... bandage fell off....?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Oh.... right, you can smell it," muttered Castiel.

"That's what woke me up, sorry...."

"But what about your brother?" he questioned quietly.

"He could smell it, but considering that he came home mostly plastered, he wouldn't exactly rise up for it," muttered Sam, stumbling a little as he reached for the medicine cabinet. "Here.... let me fix that up for you, before it gets grossed out with infection."

"All right...." Castiel moved to sit on the edge of the bathtub while Sam soaked up a washcloth with cold water. Being half-asleep, the tall vampire pretty much bumbled around like a human would, plopping heavily next to him and cleaned the oozing blood on the wound. It felt rather strange, Sam could easily be tempted to get a taste of his blood, but he was totally unaffected by it.

".... Would your brother mind of you wanting to drink my blood, Sam?" he broke the ice and was responded with a tired chuckle.

"Sometimes he would share his 'meals' with me, but I have no reason to drink from you," he mumbled. "It'd just be weird to do so, it would be like me chugging some milk straight from the container right after he had done it."

"You compared me to milk just now...."

"Heh, guess I did," Sam smiled tiredly. After the wound was cleaned off, Castiel shuddered when he felt a cold creamy substance rubbed over his shoulder. It stung for a moment but he relaxed at the tingling aftermath. But the moment he relaxed, he remembered about Sam being peculiar around human blood. He doesn't exactly have the hunger for it like Dean would, but he rarely saw him eat or drink anything else. But then again, Sam would go out on errands so he wouldn't really know.

It shouldn't hurt to ask, however. ".... Sam," he muttered quietly.

"Hm....?"

"Can you drink anything else.... other than human blood?" he asked.

"Yep, I don't gargle myself with beer and whiskey like Dean, though," nodded Sam.

"I.... you should know what I mean, Sam," he sighed. But the vampire didn't respond right away, as he took out a roll of gauze. Castiel should have expected that, he shouldn't be asking about what vampires do. But he couldn't help it, he wasn't exactly curious but he didn't wish to be in the dark so much of the time.

".... If I can't always feed on humans, Castiel, what else I can feed on?" Sam pointed out, catching his attention. "What all living creatures got to live on....?"

"So.... you feed on animals, is that what you're saying?" he asked quietly. "Not the best substitute but the best I can depend on," sighed Sam, gingerly but firmly bandaged the shoulder.

"Why--"

"Sorry, Castiel. That's my business to deal with," he muttered before letting out a deep yawn. "But at least it explains why I'm not spazzing over the scent of your blood right now. Dean often calls my diet 'vegan' or 'rabbit food' but he doesn't really mind of my choices, as long as I'm drinking blood one way or another."

"But I've seen you consuming human blood," muttered Castiel.

"I did say that Dean would share with me sometimes, but that's just it...." With that, Sam got to his feet and set the first aid kit back into the medicine cabinet. "All right, you're good to go.... Good Night, Cas...." he mumbled, wandering out of the bathroom.

"Thank you--" nodded Castiel but paused and glanced at the empty doorway. Maybe Sam didn't notice that he called him by that nickname, but he frowned a little. Dean.... he came home and dead asleep after binge-drinking on alcohol. That vampire wasn't even concerned about him bleeding out just moments ago. It just proved how shameless and disinterested he was over his 'donor's' health other than making sure he took his supplements to stave off sickness.

He picked up the discarded bandage and the shirt-- he didn't think he would need it anymore-- and dumped it in the small trash bin. At least the pain in his shoulder had gone down a bit, as he got up and left the bathroom. All the doors were shuts, meaning that both of the brothers won't be waking up for at least another few hours. Walking downstairs, he set aside his makeshift bed and looked at the medicine on the coffee table. Aside from the iron pills, there were bottles of general vitamins as well as a specific one called B-12.

Sam seemed to know well enough about how a human can get affected from being fed on. And knowing a bit about Dean.... he would just be given soggy burgers for days with no other additional nutrition. As he went to the kitchen to get some water, he couldn't help but trying to understand why Sam consumed mostly animal blood. It would make sense that their blood would be different from that of humans, but why other vampires don't do it....?

Thinking of it, he also wondered what had happened to the human victims after being fed on. Probably compelled to forget the attack, but that was the thing. He wasn't sure if all of the vampires were capable of that hypnosis thing. His doubt of it was because of the fact that there were two kinds of vampires he knew of now. Sam and Dean were purebloods.... and that Ruby girl was called a mixblood. If he remembered his high school history, he knew of how in some cultures people used race and class to position themselves against one another for superiority.

And it seemed obvious that the brothers were a higher class of vampires, though they didn't act like the upper class considering that they were practically destitute. Maybe they really were different from the rest, though he had never seen any others aside from Sam's company. The less he knew the better, they advised, and Castiel wasn't sure if he was curious enough to do so.

"Ah...." he sighed in realization. A full week had passed.... Today was Friday, meaning he would had go through another weekend, without the safety of his church. So what now....? Maybe he should ask Sam for any update of him still being missing. There was nothing else for him to do anyway, as he took the vitamins and then just sat in the living room in mostly silence.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Gordon Walker.... calling him a good hunter would be like calling Hannibal Lecter a good psychiatrist, as Ellen would call it," Bobby pointed it out over the phone. It was on speaker, so Dean and Sam were listening in the office with the older brother sitting on the desk with the phone in his hand. "You're lucky that you came out with your head still attached, Dean, knowing your personality."

"Tch, he should be the one's that lucky...." grumbled Dean, rubbing his forehead. Hangovers like this doesn't pass up, even on a vampire, as he let out a deep sigh. "That asshole thought that because there ain't much vamps in this state, he would think that a couple of them dead wouldn't catch my attention. But at least his face is burned in my memory box."

"Yet you use alcohol to burn said memory box," frowned Sam.

"Shut up, Sammy--"

"What's your brother talking about, Dean?" questioned Bobby.

"Nothing--"

"After confronting this Walker guy and telling him to leave Montana, Dean decided to get smashed like it's Vegas Week," he tattled, and Dean scoffed.

 

"I was happy that I get to send that fucker away, I was simply celebrating," he muttered.

"With the money I asked you to earn for our meager expenses," he frowned. "I practically had to pick out your pockets to get what was left, and it turned out it was, what-- less than 60 bucks?"

"I wanted to treat our guys in our county, what's wrong with that?" excused Dean with a huff.

"Jesus, you two pretty much like to argue as the brats you are," Bobby grumbled. "Anyway.... are you absolutely sure that he left the state, Dean? Sometimes, dumbasses like that are often unhinged, like borderline psychopaths. I mean.... remember Martin, that crazy SOB? Ended up in a nut house for a good while."

"Yeah, who couldn't forget that bastard?" Dean frowned with annoyance. "Gone mental and went on a killing spree in the vamp capital of America. That was a good lesson to learn...."

"So.... now what? What if he dares to come back here, not heeding Dean's warning?" muttered Sam.

"Well, Gordon would know better than to risk going against a pureblood," Bobby scoffed lightly. "That's the basically the number one rule-- kill a pureblood and you basically wish you were dead once they get through with you."

"Yeah, that much was true," grumbled Dean with a clear of his throat. "So.... what do you got about the, uh.... the, uh, guy and the compelling shit, Bobby?"

"You're still plastered," Sam pointed out.

"Hey, those jagerbombs were a good fucking experience," he scoffed. "Sure, I thought my heart was gonna explode after taking four or five but at least I know how to have fun."

"Right. So, Bobby, about that stuff we told you....?"

"Zilch, I even tried calling Garth to see if he knows something. That hoot usually loves anything peculiar when it comes to vampires. But, nothing.... Maybe Sam got something in his own stash that he didn't know at first, if you can try."

"Yeah, it wouldn't hurt to check," nodded Sam. "Thanks for helping, though. We're only asking because this is really strange to us vampires."

"Hey, I'm still checking it out just in case," muttered Bobby. "You boys be careful out there, okay?"

"Sure thing, Bobby," Dean nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks a lot...." sighed Sam, before his brother hung up the phone. But soon an awkward silence fell between them, though Dean cleared his throat and glanced around with disinterest. It was obvious that the next subject was coming up though he didn't wish to be pestered or scolded as always. "Okay.... another day, another reason of Dean being a total dick. Boy, that really never gets so old...."

"Fuck, what do you want me to do about it, Sam?" grumbled Dean with a roll of his eyes.

"You tell me, Dean...." he frowned as he crossed his arms. "A week. Barely a week.... just when I tried to make things comfortable for Castiel, you went and fucked it up by making him your unofficial donor. Gee, that certainly gained a badge or two for your boy scout merit."

"Hey.... he fucking provoked me--"

"He _requested_ for an apology out of you, Dean," scolded Sam. "The one shit you can't even do. He has the right to question you, because you were the one who went after him. But instead of taking responsibility-- you went on a different level. Now.... Castiel will be afraid of you whenever you want dinner. Is that how you want it, Dean?"

"No, but what's done is done," frowned Dean, getting off the desk. "If he thinks that he can get in my face and challenge my shit, then that's a big mistake for him. What if he had done the same with you, Sam?"

"Um, you wouldn't let me to drink his blood anyway, you selfish asshole," argued Sam. "Also, he has no reason to question me. _I_ didn't go out there and kidnap a priest. I'm the responsible one, making sure everything is running smoothly here while you run around and make an ass of yourself. Hell, I had to be one to report the blood bank situation back to headquarters and--"

"W-wait a minute, what?" the older vampire scoffed in disbelief as he glared at him. "You... you told them....?!"

"We don't exactly have the financial means to do this on our own, what did you expect?"

"But-- son of bitch....!" he growled, nearly baring his sharp teeth. "You know how the others are thinking of us, that this is another fucking test to see if we can't get the ball rolling by ourselves!"

"So what, Dean? We weren't given a special vamp scholarship when you were forced to become a leader," scoffed Sam. "There's a reason why we're broke. That our bloodline got screwed over and we don't even have a shred of inherited fortune from our late grandfather. Who would _want_ to give us money?" Dean simply scoffed, his hangover forgotten as he paced around the small office.

"I just-- fuck, I'm not gonna grovel for those asshats, Sam!" he growled. "I'd rather eat pig shit than ask for assistance....!"

"Dean.... we got no other choice. There's nothing we can do about it," his brother frowned as he got to his feet. "Like you said, we're here because you don't want me locked up like some zoo animal. So just suck it up, jerk, okay?"

"No, I'm not gonna bend over some desk and get ass-rammed by those guys whenever we need something!" Dean scoffed angrily. "I just can't do that, Sam!"

"Damn it, Dean! Just think for once, they're three, four times older than us....!" Sam sighed in frustration. "We're babies compared to them, do you really wish to go against them like the last time....?" Dean huffed but managed to calm down a bit. It was true, there was a real reason why they were under scrutiny by the other purebloods. That their family history had been in shambles for decades, and Sam's condition only made it worse for them. That was why nobody even bothered to give them a time of day, that it gave Dean a reason to resent the others of their elite class.

"Another thing.... go downstairs and talk to Castiel," frowned Sam. "Explain to him about your little scheme of drinking his blood. I'm sure you can do that right but then again, you might fuck it up as usual."

"But.... fine, I won't fuck it up," grumbled Dean as he left the office. His sharp teeth retracted in time when he went downstairs, but when he saw Castiel by the kitchen table, he noticed that the priest didn't exactly react to his presence.

Castiel was back on his bible-- typical, Dean should have expected that. It would make sense, he was the 'demon' and his hostage was using religion to forget about what had happened last night. Only when he walked up right behind him and leaned over his shoulders did Castiel stiffen. The heartbeats were thumping fast with the scent of fear coming off his body.

".... What? No rant, no shit about how you're not afraid of me just because you're riding on the Jesus train, Cas....?" he muttered.

".... You're trying to make me feel intimidated by the sight of you, correct?" he mumbled quietly.

"Isn't that the point of us vampires, Cas?" he chuckled lightly.

"Your brother doesn't act like a vampire, or you for that matter...."

"What do you know? The pet still bites," remarked Dean, purposely patting him on the sore shoulder. Castiel winced at that, before the vampire moved for the fridge. "Lucky for you, I can't always feed on you.... You'd be half-dead if I keep doing it on a daily basis."

"I'd still be half-dead whenever you decide to feed on me...." frowned Castiel.

"I told you, it's only a pint outta you, that's practically the same amount you get at a blood donation center," muttered Dean. He frowned when he realized that he was on his final transfusion bag after opening the fridge, he had already drank the other one after coming home near dawn before dropping dead asleep. Clicking his tongue, he considered if it was safe to go and lure some humans for food, now that he warned that Gordon Walker guy to leave Montana.

But first things first, courtesy of Sam's nagging, as he walked back to the table. Castiel glanced at him and sat up, his blue eyes stared with wariness when Dean sat across from him but nothing was about to happen. Instead, Dean poked at the cold bag and blew a rather rude-sounding raspberry before taking a deep sigh. "Okay.... here goes...." he grumbled, looking at the priest.

"What....?" frowned Castiel.

"Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday," he said simply, and the priest blinked in confusion.

"Wh-what?"

"That's the option I'm giving you, Cas...." muttered Dean. "You'll have time to rest up between those days and your blood'll replenish itself as long as you keep taking those little pills of yours. That's the deal right there."

"Wait... those days, you're going to feed on me?" Castiel questioned, his hands holding the bible shook with hesitation.

"Would you rather that I feed on you every single day?" frowned Dean with a raised eyebrow.

"I'd rather you not do it at all....!" he gasped softly in disbelief. "Those days.... including Sunday....?"

"Hm, what's wrong with Sunday?"

"It's the day of the Lord, that's what," he frowned at him but Dean merely looked at him as if he was talking in another language.

"A day's a day, that's what I see...." he shrugged. "Besides, Sunday's the start of the week, obviously. It's easier to remember the pattern that way."

"Is that your reason, or do you really wish to make a mockery of my religion?" questioned Castiel.

"Wow, you really like to make things difficult for yourself, Cas," sighed Dean with a smirk. "I wonder if Sammy were to create this deal with you, you'd probably comply easily."

"If it was Sam, he would probably start the deal on Monday, just to respect me," the priest pointed out.

"That's good to know, but like I said.... I'm the older of the two," Dean smirked lightly. "I'm the boss here, and I say what I want. And I say that if I wanna have a little Sunday chicken dinner on you then I gonna, simple as that." Castiel's eyes narrowed just slightly at the vampire, before abruptly getting up from the table.

"Blasphemy...." he scoffed under his breath, taking his bible with him as he walked to the couch. Dean had an urge to laugh at his pettiness but held it back with a small smirk. The human's sense of defiance was actually amusing at the moment, as he started to drink. But his amusement was short-lived when Sam came downstairs. The taller vampire merely frowned at him, obviously heard of the conversation as he put on his jacket.

"Hey, where you going?" he frowned.

"Well, you know what they said. If you want something done right, do it yourself," sighed Sam.

"Meaning....?"

"I'll go around a couple of bars, play some pool, making sure that the earnings don't get plundered by your alcoholism," he frowned.

"It's called having fun, bitch, you can try it once in a while," smirked Dean.

"Yeah.... me being the life of the party, that's a good idea," he muttered before glancing over at the couch where Castiel was situated in. "Is there.... anything you want while I'm at town, Castiel?"

".... I'm fine, thank you...." muttered Castiel.

"Okay...."

"Hey, what if I wanted something, Sammy?" asked Dean.

"You don't want anything but beer, I know that much," frowned Sam, as he left. Scoffing, Dean rolled his eyes and continued drinking. It wasn't fair, his brother was the 'nice' one, of course Castiel would feel comfortable around that ginormous doofus.

But.... maybe that was for the best. Sam's diet was controlled enough to make him easy to talk to, but not many people would stick around long enough to know him better. Since they wouldn't bother to, anyway.... He groaned after finishing up the bag, refrigerated blood seemed to dull out the taste of it and he never felt full from it. He got up from his seat and paced around.

He staved off his boredom, snapping his fingers and blew raspberries, not concerning that Castiel might be annoyed by his behavior at the moment. Maybe he was doing this on purpose, but he didn't care. But he kind of wondered about Bobby's research. The thought of Castiel not being compelled was annoying. Maybe there was something wrong with his brain-- but he wouldn't know of mentally challenged humans being hypnotized, and the priest seemed fine on the outside.

But then what....? Dean glanced at the couch; Castiel was silent aside from the soft flapping of him turning some pages. Maybe.... he should try it this time, now that Castiel was slowly letting his guard down thanks to Sam. And he will do it over the weekend, that is, if that human would brace himself for it.

".... For an intimidating vampire, you seem to be making those childish sounds on purpose," Castiel finally spoke. Dean paused in his steps and let out a soft chuckle.

"Well, I'm fucking bored and Sammy's gonna take forever to come back...." he sighed. "Don't worry, though.... Tonight's the night I might get a take-out in town. But hey, at least it's another human and not you, Padre." The priest stiffened at his meaning, his mind instantly filled with worry as he sat up.

".... You'll attack an innocent human?" he questioned quietly, looking over the furniture at the pacing vampire.

"Um, not every human is innocent. I mean, aside from you," muttered Dean. "Would it make you feel happy if I were to feed off some thug trying to rob soccer moms or little old ladies?"

"But it's still wrong nonetheless--"

"And why's that?" he frowned, and Castiel said nothing to respond that. "Cas.... does it have to do with the holy crap you're often spewing about?"

"It wouldn't matter to you.... God has the right to judge the guilty ones," muttered Castiel.

"Oh.... Too bad I can't feel guilty for being hungry, then," the vampire shrugged and the human frowned at that.

"Then.... why not follow Sam's diet and feed on animals?" he asked.

"Now why would I do that? I would only drink it as a last resort."

"And Sam does?" Castiel questioned, but flinched when Dean suddenly stepped up to the couch.

".... What did Sam tell you, Cas?" he questioned quietly, leaning over the furniture as his eyes glowed subtly.

"That.... he prefers to drink animal blood instead of that of humans. I believe that he is doing it out of a good sense of morality, not wanting to hurt people," he muttered quietly.

"Hmm.... if you want to believe that, Padre, but you're just kidding yourself in the long run," frowned Dean.

"Huh...?" What did that mean? Dean was already moving away before he could ask.

"You better brace yourself for this weekend, Cas.... If you dare to back out of it, you're just gonna make it worse for yourself," he muttered, as he went upstairs, leaving Castiel all alone in the living room. But the priest was still confused and even a bit wary of what he had just said.

He was warned the first time about Sam, that he has a violent temper if he doesn't watch it. But Sam seemed to be careful around him, as if he didn't want to show off his angry side. Castiel tapped his fingers over his opened bible, he wasn't sure who should he be more afraid of by how Dean was talking about his brother. But.... Sam wasn't the one who was very eager to feed on him, as the thought of it made his left shoulder ached.

".... Give me the strength, to lead me away from the temptations of the Devil...." he muttered a soft prayer. "I will not be tainted.... I will be saved by the Lord Almighty in due time...."

He glanced up at the ceiling, as if he was waiting for a sign, but he sensibly knew that nothing will happen for now. Taking a deep sigh, he looked back to his bible. Maybe he should try to read the Methodist version the next time, knowing that this one was created on some selfish king's whim. Pride was not something he would agree with.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Here.... I'm very sorry that you have to go through with this...." Castiel was given a large cup of water by Sam, who let out a deep worrisome sigh. "Drink it.... I ground up the necessary vitamins in there so you won't.... um, black out once it happens."

"That's good to know.... thank you," nodded Castiel. There was a slight bitter aftertaste when he drank it, but he ignored it. He was far more concerned about tonight.... that he must abide to Dean's deal and let him feed on him. Sam seemed just as worried, as he wasn't sure how to feel about it and paced around the kitchen. "Um.... does it feel like this all the times with his victims?"

"No.... they're usually compelled, with dull eyes looking elsewhere," muttered Sam. "They don't really feel the pain, and when we're done, they would only think that it was an animal attack once the hypnosis comes off...."

"That sounds just as unpleasant, to have their memories compromised like that," frowned Castiel. "Does.... anybody ever remember of the attacks, Sam?"

"Not that we know of, but it'd be shrugged off as a traumatic hallucinations. That's why it's strange for this to happen.... for him to do it here." Castiel could only frown as he drank the water. Seeing the tall vampire being distressed didn't help, especially since the priest has to wait for Dean to come back.

Dean promised him that he won't take so much blood, since it was easier to get some other human as an 'appetizer'. That didn't make him any better, that another person had to get hurt so Dean could eat. He had seen him coming home last night with a stray trail of blood down his chin, though Dean didn't seem to notice or care about it at all.

It was actually easy to forget that he was like that, when Castiel had seen him drinking from the bags. But now he had to witness it himself every few days, as he touched at his sore shoulder. ".... Once Dean comes, it's best that I don't stick around," Sam muttered.

"Why....?"

"For one thing, it'd feel strange and awkward if I stay here, smelling your blood and hearing my brother making.... noises," Sam said, with an uncomfortable frown. "I see no reason to be here, Castiel, sorry about that. I can't really be here with all of this going on...."

"It's.... all right, Sam," muttered Castiel. "I'll be fine by myself, you shouldn't worry about me."

"Can't really help it," he sighed. "This little deal between you and Dean shouldn't have happened in the first place. It's ridiculous, but...."

"You truly can't do anything about it, can you?" he asked quietly.

".... If it was the other way around, then none of this should be happening at all," Sam sighed deeply. "It's not that Dean's older than me, but given the right circumstances.... I could become the leader instead of him. But.... the others, they know of me, that I'm not a 'good' candidate to be one."

"I do not understand...."

"It's best not to, for your sake," Sam muttered, and Castiel blinked at that. Was this related to the warning Dean had told him about....? About this so-called anger issue Sam seemed to have? It seemed that Sam was able to sense that his brother was close, as he glanced up at the door. "Speak of the dumbass...." he sighed deeply as he walked up to it to unlock.

".... Hey, Sammy, wants some beer?" grinned Dean when he stepped in. "Here, knock yourself out."

"But-- Dean, I don't really want any," frowned Sam when the six-pack was shoved into his arms.

"Nonsense, you need to get drunk once in a while since your dumb vegan diet makes you no fun," he smirked. He appeared rather ecstatic with his face flushed slightly from his recent feeding, but Castiel knew that the reason behind it. He looked up with wariness when the green-gold eyes turned on him. That was when Dean's smirk fell as he then turned back to Sam. ".... You're not sticking around?" he muttered quietly.

"No, I don't want to smell his blood.... it'd be too strong for me to handle it if it lingers around for too long...." muttered Sam.

"Makes sense.... I'll clean up before you come back, all right, Sammy?"

"Sure.... just don't hurt Castiel," he frowned. He already had on his jacket as he moved to step out, not looking to see the apprehensive look on the priest's face before Dean closed the door. The vampire shrugged off his jacket and tossed it onto the couch as he turned his attention to Castiel.

His expression was now hauntingly neutral but it was more than enough to perturb him, as Dean walked up to the table. ".... Cas.... let's get this over it," he muttered. Castiel frowned forebodingly, he didn't want to move or bend to his will. Yet, somehow.... he soon found himself getting to his feet, not wanting to be manhandled like the last time. ".... To my room, let's go," ordered Dean, moving to go upstairs.

"...." Castiel had no choice but to follow after him, he couldn't help that his heart was beating faster and faster. On the top landing, he noticed that Dean was going to the second door on the right, opening it and going right in. It was in complete darkness when Castiel stepped in, seeing only the glowing eyes that were looking elsewhere just before the light of the lamp came on.

Dean didn't pay attention to him for a moment, his back facing him as he was taking off his fannel then his T-shirt. He let out a soft exhale before glancing at Castiel. When he turned around, the priest noticed the pentagram tattoo on his chest before the other man walked almost silently up to him. Dean was still expressionless, as he grasped at his wrist firmly.

"Ah...!" Castiel gasped softly when he was led to the bed. The sheets were slightly bundled and the pillows were in disarray, but that seemed to be the least of their problems, as Dean then made him sit there. "W-wait...."

Dean ignored him and tugged the shirt off him. The bandage on his left shoulder was fresh from this morning, but the vampire simply ripped it off. The wound was mostly healed in appearance as Dean touched over the still sore skin. Castiel tried not to hyperventilate by the eerie caressing. He kept his eyes down, not wanting to see his face, afraid to look to see if his captor was really enjoying this moment.

".... Move back...." muttered Dean and Castiel flinched at his calm gruff tone. Hesitantly, he did so and scooted into the center just as Dean climbed onto the bed. Only then did he look at his face, and shuddered when the green-gold eyes glowed intensely. Dean inhaled deeply, seeing the apprehensive look on his face, yet he didn't care at the moment, as he straddled over one of his thighs.

"N-no...." whispered Castiel, only to gasp sharply when his jaw was suddenly gripped.

".... Calm the fuck down, _Castiel_ ," Dean growled, staring straight into his widened eyes. "Calm down and take a deep breath.... I want you to relax as I do this, all right?"

"You're.... you're trying to compel me, r-right...?" he muttered weakly. Dean frowned in surprise, nearly growling at the inability of his compelling powers over this human again. So it still wasn't a fluke, and it made him rather annoyed. But his concerns went to a different direction as he heard the fast heartbeats.

"Just.... calm down, Cas," muttered Dean. "Think of something to calm your ass down for a moment or two.... I don't want you to keep freaking out every single time." Shuddering out a breath, Castiel stared at the stone-faced vampire. Dean wasn't playing around this time. But his expression was more daunting than the smirking cocky one he usually sported. "Calm down.... it'll be all be over soon, Cas...." Dean rumbled softly, his hand trailed down to the hollow of his throat with his thumb rubbing over his vein.

"It's.... it's hard to do it...." Castiel gulped.

"Then think pretty thoughts.... I don't have time to wait on you like this," he growled. He then moved to nuzzle and kiss against the skin, ignoring the priest's flinching reaction as he placed his other hand onto the middle of his back. Castiel knew that Dean had sexual attraction for both genders.... but the way he was touching him was unsettling. The heat between the two upper bodies mingled before the vampire growled against the scarred skin.

Almost immediately, his sharp teeth came out, his fangs deftly scrapped over the delicate barrier. "Fuck...." he growled softly, kissing and sucking at his neck. Castiel winced, wanting to push him away but stayed limp in his hold. His expression, however, was borderline mortification. This was extremely wrong, sinful.... Even though he was not reacting to the action, to participate nonetheless could corrupt his soul since he had to offer his blood as well as enduring this hedonistic act on him.

"Ahh....!" he winced in surprise when Dean's teeth grazed over his mostly healed shoulder.

"Relax...." breathed Dean. He growled out in pants as he took in his naturally clean scent. To be fair, he had never acted this slow and steady when it came to feeding, he usually would have it get over with and move on. He darted his tongue out and lapped over the wound. It hadn't completely healed over, he could still go through the punctured marks with ease. He moved one of his hands to Castiel's waist to steady him, feeling the priest stiffen from the exposed skin touching each other. "Hmm.... relax, Cas, relax...." he rumbled.

"...." Castiel breathed as evenly as possible, smelling the slight salty scent of the vampire's warm skin. It felt much too strange-- vampires were thought to be the cold undead that couldn't be alive in any way, yet he could practically feel the soft calm thumping of Dean's own heart against his chest. He was just as alive as any other human, and yet their kind consumed blood of the innocent.

"Get ready...." rumbled Dean, just before his fangs pierced through the skin.

"A-ahh....!" Castiel instantly gripped at his biceps and whimpered out in pain. He tried to calm himself down but it was difficult as he shuddered in his hold. Dean, however, breathed through his nose for a moment and rubbed circles on the priest's back, before taking a deep gulp. It was just as he had expected, it was still pure and rich. He groaned deeply in pleasure, savoring the taste on his tongue as he took another gulp.

"Ah.... hahhh...." panted Castiel. He shuddered when cold sweat began to tingle at his skin, his tight grip on Dean didn't seem to hurt the vampire who let go of his shoulder for the moment.

"Fuck, Cas...." he growled in gratification, slurping up the trickling blood. In his euphoria, he soon became aroused with the front of his pants feeling tightly constricted. "Hmmm....!"

"Ah-- wait--" Castiel winced out when Dean suddenly pushed him down into the tousled sheets. The glowing eyes didn't pay attention to his discomfort, as Dean huffed out deep growls. It was just like his wet dream, to pin him down like this as he bit into the shoulder again. Castiel wanted to panic. The sharp pain was going deeper but he couldn't push him away.

Dean's weight was right on top on him, as the vampire suddenly wrapped his arm around his waist. Castiel whimpered in surprise, when he felt something hard nudging against his stomach. What was this....? He had an urge to struggle but Dean ground his hips down on him. He felt the hardness again, now thinking that what it truly was and grimaced in disgust.

"Hmm.... f-fuck...." After one more gulp, Dean let go this time, lapping up the wound clean as he let out a deep satisfying groan. The taste of it, it seemed more intense than the last time. Maybe it had to do with Castiel taking iron and vitamins, but whatever it was, it made him gratefully sated. "Cas.... your blood, so fucking good...."

"...." Castiel panted heavily, his mind having a hard time assessing over what had happened. He felt cold and hot at the same time, feeling a sickly film of sweat on his skin. Was this supposed to happen, he wasn't sure. But he knew that he was having a hard time breathing with Dean on top of him like this, as he let out a strained whimper.

".... All right.... let's get you cleaned up," breathed Dean, lapping a few more times before sitting up. He licked his lips as the euphoric sensation tingled throughout his now flushed body. It must be that good for him to react like that. "Damn.... you didn't really panic but it's a start...."

"Ah...." Castiel winced softly from the jarring pain. He glanced up to see Dean retracting his fangs before his watery blue eyes traveled down to the vampire's jeans. He was right to suspect it as he frowned with a grimace, when he noticed a tenting bulge. So Dean could get aroused from drinking blood, that sense of perversion was rather sickening.

"Come on, let's get to it...."

"Ahh!" he winced when he was pulled to his feet, he staggered a little but Dean steadied him and led him out of the bedroom. It felt like his blood was taken more than usual. He could feel the vertigo-like feeling in his eyes and head, with the urge to throw up. He wobbled into the bathroom, where Dean gathered the first aid kit.

"Just sit here, Padre...." he rumbled, cleaning the wound further with a wet washcloth after settling Castiel to sit on the closed toilet. The smell of his blood lingered, even though the feeding had finished. Sam was right of not staying around; he would have been tempted to get a taste since he had been choking down on animal blood for days at a time.

His little brother can manage drinking small amounts of human blood, but too much consumption.... It was just another unfortunate factor of his illness, but Dean tried not to dwell on it. "Damn it, guess I indulged a bit too much....." he sighed when Castiel swayed in his seat and gripped at his good shoulder.

"You.... you think....?" panted Castiel.

"Tch, whatever," he muttered. Within two seconds, he was the one sitting on the toilet seat while Castiel was suddenly on his lap. The priest flinched in surprise when he found himself sitting over the vampire's leg. "There, is that better, Cas....?" he sighed, holding him steady with one hand on his waist.

"How is this any better....?" Castiel frowned with the dizziness still in his head, but he was ignored as Dean took out the gauze. "W-wait.... Sam used some kind of cream, to stop the bleeding."

"Oh.... Nurse Sam's at it, as usual," sighed Dean. But he grunted when he felt his arousal stirring and absentmindedly rubbed over the front of his jeans. That action didn't pass Castiel's eyes and he frowned in slight disgust at that. "What? See something you like, Padre?" Dean was back to his smirking self and the priest tried to grimace at his joke.

".... 'Should a man laid with another under the eyes of the Lord, then both of them shall be punished by stones'.... There's no way that I would fall for someone like you...." frowned Castiel.

"Hit a guy like me with rocks? Wow, I once had an empty Jack Daniels chucked at my head, but that was because I didn't wanna commit to this girl and she got pissed." Finding the ointment, Dean, squeezed out the creamy substance and rubbed it on Castiel's shoulder. He could tell that the human didn't really want to be touched like that when Castiel shuddered. ".... Seriously, Cas, you never have an inkling of interest? Even for the opposite sex?" he asked.

"Why should that concern you--"

"Why do you keep on talking back to me?" sighed Dean with a slight frown. "I thought you agree on being a good little prisoner for me, Cas."

"An agreement like that.... I cannot exactly follow it unless you--"

"I what-- unless I apologize?" he frowned with a hint of annoyance. "Tell me this, Cas. Do you humans have to apologize to the farm animals you slaughter for making burgers and hot dog and all those other shit? Do lions and wolves have to say sorry for eating their kill? No they don't, that's why it's called a food chain, one thing eat another which eat another then another. If that wasn't the case, then your god shouldn't have created them in the first place."

"...." Castiel inhaled in indignation but wasn't what to say to that. Dean was practically an animal in human form. Growling, baring his teeth, he was like a beast compared to Sam, who seemed to be more conscious of his diet. Unless, of course, there was a reason why Sam chose to feed on animal blood....

"Huh, it works, I don't smell much of your blood anymore," Dean sighed as he then wrapped the wound with the gauze. "Guess I should be careful the next time...."

"You're going to keep biting my shoulder?" questioned Castiel.

".... There are other areas in your body to get your blood," Dean smirked at him. "That is, if you wanna know, Cas."

"You're toying with me, I know it," muttered Castiel as he attempted to get off his lap. But Dean held him still, letting out a subtle growl. ".... We're done, I only wish to rest now that it was over...." he frowned at him.

"I didn't say that we're done here, Cas.... not yet," he rumbled, his eyes glowed brighter under the bathroom light.

"But--"

"You didn't answer my question.... if you hadn't become a priest, would you get it on with a chick of something?" he muttered, holding his hips in place as his loins stirred again.

"Wha.... what does that matter to you?" frowned Castiel.

"Guess you can say that I have that effect on straight guys, to give them a little trial run of playing another team courtesy of my powers...." he grinned lightly. "But you.... that'd be a nice challenge since you can't get compelled, doncha think?"

"No-- I wouldn't answer you something like that. I already planned my service to God back in high school," he frowned.

"Then? Wow, so you didn't even get a stiff dick by the sight of naughty Catholic schoolgirls and their short skirts?"

"You--"

"Please smack me like the last time, I'd love to get a full-blown rager in my pants," he teased. If it wasn't the fact that he was still feeling light-headed, Castiel would be tempted to do so. But right now, he really wanted to rest, as he let out a tiresome sigh.

"Just let me be for a moment, please...." he pleaded concededly. "It's bad enough that you can drink my blood whenever you want. Why must you keep on torturing me in other ways....?"

"It's not torturing, Cas, I don't own a dungeon to prove that," muttered Dean. "Besides, if I really wanna torture you.... then I'd be just as bad as the other purebloods."

"You're terrible nonetheless...."

Dean frowned at that before letting out a soft scoff."Then keep on trucking and pray to Morgan Freeman or whoever.... That seems to be the only thing to keep your sanity," he muttered, finally letting go of him. "Go, Cas...."

"...." Dean wasn't kidding this time, when Castiel did got off his lap. He stumbled back, but the vampire didn't bother to catch him since the priest quickly balanced himself as he turned to leave. But Castiel paused when he reached the sink and splashed himself with cool water. Enduring something like this.... he wondered how long will this last until....

".... The news, what is the update?" he realized.

"Hm, what's that...?" Dean muttered in surprise.

"My disappearance.... I haven't heard anything about it lately, if me being gone had led into some kind of suspicion," he said as he turned to the slumped vampire. "Please tell me.... is there anything going on out there?"

".... That you're still missing, that's it," shrugged Dean. "Not every human disappearance is the vampires' faults, Cas. They go missing simply just because."

"But.... it's your fault that I'm considered missing to the public in the first place," he frowned at him and Dean frowned back.

"But you're still alive, aren't you?" he questioned. "I keep telling you, Cas.... I'm _fucking_ much nicer compared to those other assholes. So quit your bitching already and grin and bear it. Already you ruined my buzz with your constant nagging...." Castiel huffed in disbelief, he had every right to question himself being missing, yet Dean was avoiding around the subject. It was as if the vampire didn't wish to let him go so easily or so soon. Not with his blood being addicting to him.

"I.... I'll ask Sam then," he huffed deeply, which was responded with short derisive laugh.

"Yeah, go to your best buddy, better him than me," smirked Dean. "You better hope that he ate a snack before he gets home, though."

Not wanting to respond to that, Castiel finally decided to leave the bathroom, albeit with shaky legs. There was no reason to keep arguing with him anymore for now. Not when Dean was acting as a.... well, he didn't want to think of any unsettling words but they were there.

Meanwhile, Dean let out a soft groan now that he was alone. Despite being recently annoyed, he was still feeling the after-effects of Cas' blood as he rubbed over his clothed arousal. "Fuck...." he sighed deeply. Getting up, he took two step to close the bathroom door then went back to the toilet and pulled up the seat. "Ahh, come on...." Undoing his jeans, Dean groaned in relief the moment he fished out his erection.

It felt heavy in his hand as his fingers curled around it. He shuddered when he felt the veins throbbing underneath the rough skin as his glowing eyes glanced down, the pre-come was dripping every couple of seconds into the water. Normally, he would ignore this since it would often happen after drinking any person's blood. But Cas' untainted blood was doing something to him, coursing right into his lower stomach, as he began to stroke.

"Oh, fuck.... shit...." he growled. His fanged teeth came out as his skin heated up. He placed his free hand against the wall to steady himself, while his hips rocked rythmically with the strokes. Even with the teasing he gave the priest a few days ago, he had to admit that he was feeling sexually attracted to him. It even felt stronger now that he had drunk his blood twice since having him here. There was another factor to the attraction, that Castiel kept being defiant toward him. As much as it annoyed him, he honestly like the challenge.

"Ah, Cas....!" Dean growled under his breath and screwed his eyes shut, imagining tasting Castiel's lips instead of his blood. What would they taste like, maybe like those black cherries he saw him eating that one time. He would like it if that human would struggle at first but soon give in. "Ahh, fuck yeah....!" he groaned out as more pre-come was dripping out.

In his mind, Castiel would act reluctant yet wanton to his touches, whimpering as the human's sexual awakening would burgeon. Dean smirked in his thoughts, trying to imagine slipping his hand into his underwear and touching his arousing member. In reality, his body twitched once in a while as he breathed heavily through his nostrils. The smell of his essence filled up the contained air, making him ache more as he felt his lower stomach tightening up.

He imagined kissing Cas again, this time the usually awkward priest would be more eager to be taken, letting out pleasurable moans from his lubricant-covered fingers thrusting and stretching out the virginal entrance. Tight and unused, that would the best sensation a person like him could ask for when he saw himself pushing Castiel's legs back. "You're mine, Cas.... you belong to me....!" Dean wasn't sure if he had said it in his brain or out loud.

But what came next was real, as his knees buckled the moment he felt the tightening feeling suddenly released. "Ga-ahhh....! F-fucking shit....!" he gritted through sharp teeth. His erection jerked as streams of semen quickly expelled out, the fluids trickling into the water.

"Ahh.... ahh, hahhh...." he panted out ragged growls. "Fuck.... fuck...." The sweat on his body soon chilled as his member went lax in his hand. "Holy fuck...." He couldn't remember the last time he had rubbed one out, but this was the most intense one he had done. And to imagine having his way with Castiel like that, it could just be the blood talking. He had heard rumors of purebloods turning their favorite humans in order to keep them around, and he remembered bits of his dreams of wanting to turn Castiel.

But then he wouldn't be able to taste the priest's untainted blood if he were to do that. Not that Dean truly wanted to, as he let out a satisfying sigh and stuffed himself back into his jeans. He then flushed the toilet and washed his hands. Doubtful that Castiel had heard his alone time, the vampire left the bathroom and walked to his room. The scent of blood in here was fading already, but Dean will wait out a little longer before calling up Sam. Alcohol and animal blood could only do so much for his little brother.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Taking a deep sigh, Sam eyed at the white ball as he walked around the pool table. Where Dean was more experienced with poker games, he preferred this one since he could use a bit of his strength as well as some strategies to win, as he decided to angle the stick to the right in order to hit three balls including the 8 ball. "Ah, got it...." he smirked as he struck it, getting the balls rolled into the pockets with a few clanks. "So.... I guess I won, right?" he smiled lightly at the scoffing man.

"Damn it...."

"As promised, two hundred bucks," nodded Sam as he held out his hand. "Thanks a lot, until next time...." He knew when to quit unlike his risk-taking brother after he took his earnings. He glanced around, noticing that the bar was full and rather rowdy despite of the late hours.

Sighing, he went up to the free space of counter and sat down. The younger vampire had actually drank down the six-pack but before going to town he managed to catch at least a couple of small animals to drain. He was feeling calm and inhibited, yet deep down.... he still had the need to drink some more blood. But he didn't want to come home yet until Dean gives him the okay from his own blood-drinking session, so he had to wait a little while longer.

In the meantime, he had to hold down his urges as he ordered a shot of whiskey. Even feeling like this, he had no problems being surrounded by humans, the air was mixed with multiple amounts of scents and plenty of them weren't so pleasant to his sensitive nose. As he downed his drink and ordered another shot, his sharp hearing caught the sound of a woman's surprised gasp followed by a sharp slap.

"You asshole....!"

"Oh, c'mon babe, I was only kidding...."

Sam frowned at the confrontation and turned and looked behind his shoulder. The source of it was several tables away, close to a far corner, yet he had managed to eagle-eye the couple. The young woman seemed uncomfortable being in this establishment, rather wishing to be somewhere else than watching her boyfriend getting hammered. Nobody else seemed to notice it as the boyfriend attempted to cuddle with her but she pushed him away.

"Stop it, you had too many....!" she scowled when she attempted to get up and slapped away his hand. "Don't touch me! I'm going home....!"

"Wha-- why you gotta act like a fucking bitch all the time....?!" the guy cursed her out, attempting to grab at her shoulder. Sam narrowed his eyes slightly at that. Instantly he didn't like his attitude regardless of that man's inebriation. Drinking down his whiskey, the vampire turned his attention fully on the arguing couple.

He knew this type of scenario all too well and frowned, he had seen this so many times in the years before being hounded down by the other purebloods. It made him disgusted of how someone would treat women like that. Even Dean wouldn't go far than having a few disdainful words against someone like Ruby and her master. Again, nobody seemed to care to witness of how the guy stumbled after his girlfriend and roughly grabbed at her upper arm.

"Come back here, don't you walk away from me....!" he drunkenly scowled.

"Get off me!"

Sam didn't really remember getting up, but barely two seconds later he found himself standing before the couple, looming over the startled man by several inches. ".... That's not how you treat a lady, asshole," he muttered lowly.

"Huh? Mind your fucking business, dickwad...!" scowled the man. Now plenty of bar patrons noticed the confrontation, of course they were more interested of a possible brawl. But Sam wasn't going to fight with so many witnesses. He instead clenched his fists by his side and took a deep breath to calm himself.

"You're making a fool of yourself.... It's best that you leave her alone," he growled, trying not to let his hazel-green eyes glow with his budding anger coming out. But the man, probably out of drunken ignorance or sheer stupidity, sneered at him with a scoff.

"Well... what're you gonna do about it, you fucking giant?!" he scoffed as he let go of the girl and shoved at his chest. But Sam stood his ground, not even flinching despite of the harsh pushing.

"Stop that, leave him alone....!"

"Step off, it's not your business--"

"I told you that's not how you talk to a lady like that...." frowned Sam. He could feel his sharp teeth itching to come out, as he stepped between him and the woman. "Back off.... leave her alone and go home...."

"Oh yeah....? Make me, you giant asshole....!" the man scoffed as he pushed at him again. This time Sam retaliated by pushing back, but he barely used his strength when he struck his shoulders. Only the slow reaction due to the man's drunkenness was enough, tumbling to the floor with a thud. The surrounding patrons exclaimed in surprise and excitement, though the man's girlfriend seemed less than pleased at Sam's actions.

"You didn't have to do that....!" she frowned in disbelief at him.

".... Sorry, I didn't mean to, Miss...." muttered the tall vampire as he turned to her.

"M-Marianne. I appreciate your concerns but--" she frowned but she paused in her rant when she saw Sam's eyes suddenly glowing under the dim lighting. "Oh God...." she gasped in surprise.

"Calm down, _Marianne_.... You're just about to leave here and go home," he said evenly and almost instantly the woman's own eyes went dull, her stance lax though she was still standing. "Forget this man, he's not worth it, okay....?" The humans didn't even notice the odd interaction between them. But the woman nodded numbly with a slight shaky breath. "Go home.... when you wake up the next morning, you'll remember that you have broke it off with that boyfriend of yours. Nothing more...."

"O-okay...." the woman muttered almost inaudibly with another nod, before walking away from him. The glow in Sam's eyes went away as he blinked, but he narrowed them as he turned back to the drunk man. Obviously he was seething in drunken anger as he got to his feet in a tottering motion.

"You fucking asshole, you should've just mind your own business....!" he scowled as he attempted to grab at him. But Sam merely stepped back, making the man miss with another stumble, before he walked back to the counter.

"Here. Sorry for the trouble...." he muttered as he paid the bartender for his drink.

"H-hey! I'm not done with you yet, Sasquatch....!" the drunk guy heckled.

"I don't want to fight you in here and get into trouble...." frowned Sam. He moved to leave the bar, but the man followed him outside, right at his heels since Sam was walking at a slow pace. The town was eerily quiet and empty. With what little lighting from the sparse street lights, his eyes naturally glowed as he let out a strong exhale. The anger was getting too hard to contain without drinking enough blood, about as much as it was hard to ignore this man continued to heckle him from behind.

"Where's my girl?! You fucking asshole, what did you say to her....?!" he scowled.

"Just.... just leave me alone, I'm not gonna fight you...." Sam muttered lowly. He didn't really want to, as his pace quickened. He couldn't run off in a blur to prevent his episode from flaring up; the human was drunk but he couldn't risk being noticed like that.

"Well you were asking for it the moment you fucking messed with me, you dick....!" scoffed the man. "Come on and fight me, damn it! You fucking shit-bag!"

"Stop it...." Sam growled.

"Or what....?!" he heckled, rushing to push at his back. Sam didn't even falter from the force but the action made his inner instincts riled up.

"Just fucking leave me alone....!"

"Then do something about it--"

"Step off!" Sam snarled angrily as he whirled around. This time, the drunk man did stop, but his inebriated expression was replaced by that of sheer terror. The tall vampire snarled as he bared his sharp fangs at him, his eyes glowed intensely at him. "Now.... now you've done it....!" he snarled.

"What the.... fuck....?!" gasped the man as he clumsily took a step back but he fell, wincing in pain when he foolishly broke his fall with his hand. Sam curled his lips back when the smell of blood suddenly hit the chilly air. His mental state slowly started to degrade as he took a step forward. "L-l-look, man, I'm s-sorry! I was just fucking around--" the man stammered in a panic.

"You should've left me the fuck alone....!" he growled lowly. The smell of human blood was hard to ignore now. Sam didn't care that this man's blood was currently tainted with the alcohol. Food was food.... and he didn't really want pass up the opportunity, as he took a deep breath. "Fuck.... fuck," Sam growled as he calmed himself down for just a bit.

"I-I'm sorry, okay, man....? I'm just a little drunk, I shouldn't have messed with you," the drunkard stammered as he tried to get to his feet.

"Yeah.... you shouldn't have," growled Sam, with small.... but dark smile. Within less than three seconds, he grabbed the man by the throat before rushing several blocks down to an obscure alleyway. His victim yelped out when he was tossed against the brick wall, he didn't have a chance to recover when Sam grabbed him by the throat again. The fear-induced scent was fresh off this human's skin who began to whimper as the vampire panted out hungry growls.

"This is your fault, maybe if you had been nice to your girlfriend, you wouldn't have ended up like this...." he grinned, his glowing eyes narrowed at the rapid thumping sound of his heartbeats. The fingernails grew into claws as he dragged his thumb across the skin. A thin line of blood trickled down and it made Sam growled in delight. This one surely wouldn't be missed that much....

"Please, dude, don't hurt me...."

"Look at me, look at _me_...." he demanded with a low growl, and out of startled reaction the man did so. "Look into my eyes...." he growled, the compelling powers seeping in as the man's fear soon died down. Now the human was for the taking, as Sam's dark grin widened. "Good.... Now then, tell me why you think it was it was good idea to put your hands on a lady....?"

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and Review

I'll update ASAP!


	7. Beyon Redemption

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 7- Beyond Redemption**

_Breathing in painful ragged breaths, Sam's head slumped close to his chest. It was hard to breathe.... the tough leather choker around his neck was taut but it left very little space for his throat. It was the silver-alloyed chains that was also wrapped around his throat as well as around his abdomen and wrists and ankles, sapping away what little strength he had in himself. Pure silver would have burned his bare skin but mixed in with certain metals even a pureblood like himself couldn't break it apart._

_But still.... it hurt so bad. Strapped to an iron chair in a middle of a dark cell, Sam could barely keep his glowing eyes open. And he was so hungry.... he was only fed a cup of old curdled blood by his tormentors once every several hours. And between those times, the chains would be replaced by actual silver and he would be left in excruciating agony, screaming in absolute pain until his voice died out. Why....? Why must he be punished like this?_

_And Dean.... was he punished similar to this as, because of what both of them had done for the past several years? His older brother doesn't deserve something like this, all because he was simply trying to protect him. This was all his fault.... he didn't mean to let his violent episodes get to him, going as far as even hurting Dean in some cases. Yet his brother stayed with him, making sure that the other purebloods couldn't find him. But he messed up anyway.... being caught and locked away like this...._

_Just like their demented late grandmother...._

_As if on instinct, his already weak body tensed up in fear when he heard the heavy metal door creaking open, emitting in soft but bleak light. His tormentor might be checking up on him, to taunt him again of how broken and pitiful he was because of toxic his bloodline. But seconds later, he heard a rattling of chains but he was still afraid to look up, fearing that he was going to be hurt with silver again._

_".... Oh.... Oh, Sammy....." came a broken but familiar voice._

_The fear inside Sam instantly went away and replaced with a shuddering shock. Very hesitantly, he looked up and let out a raspy gasp. No.... this couldn't be real, the others must have messed with his already damaged mind for so long that it must be some kind of feverish dream._

_"Sammy.... i-it's me.... I'm here...."_

_"De.... D-Dean....?" he managed to wheeze out, taking in the sight before him as he hobbled up to him. Covered in grime and dirt and old blood, his older brother looked like he had been in a few street fights, with his clothes ripped and torn in some parts. Like a convict, he was shackled on his wrists and ankles with the same silver-alloyed chains. When he took a look at his smudge-covered face, Dean's expression was beyond remorse and grief. Even when his green-gold eyes were glowing, there was no life in them, after being tormented in some way._

_"In the flesh, kid...." he croaked weakly, he wanted to smile but the horrific sight of his little brother was too much to bear. Blotches of dried blood stained at his already dirty face and matted hair. Under the alloyed chains, there were multiple amounts of burns on his fair skin from days of being tortured with silver. Without any fresh blood to feed on, he couldn't heal properly as Dean took a step closer._

_"Wha.... wh-why....?" Sam mumbled weakly. Dean couldn't answer at first, instead the corners of his tightly frowning mouth twitched as he fell to his knees before him. He breathed as heavily and as calmly as he could, as if holding it in what he has to say. But he couldn't, he must tell him, as he let out a quivering sigh._

_".... I.... I said yes...." he muttered so softly it was nearly inaudible._

_"Wh-what....?" It hurt to speak but Sam's weary eyes spoke more as they widened in shock. Dean's expression became more grievous at that, not wanting to believe his own words as he shook his head. "Y-you.... you said, yes....?" he gasped._

_"I h-had to, Sammy.... I saw it.... I saw everything," he frowned grimly. "Every single day.... those bastards showed me footages of you.... taking a beating in one way or another."_

_"What....? H-how.... when--"_

_"They got a fucking camera somewhere up there.... and they showed it to me," Dean mumbled sadly. "Hitting you with silver while you're chained down.... not feeding you enough blood. And when they do feed you, it's disgusting rancid shit...." His jaw muscles tightened as he snifled, trying to hold in what little amount of dignity he had left for himself. "That was what they tortured me with, Sam.... They knew how I would fucking react to it, how I tried desperately to yank these chains on me in order to escape."_

_"But--"_

_"I know, but I wanted to get to you so badly...." he mumbled with a shake of his head. "But.... they kicked my ass ten ways to Sunday also. Whenever I fought back, they would strike me with silver. Leaving me half-starved as I was forced to keep watching you being tortured.... The ass-whooping on me, I can handle that, but to see you near death...."_

_Breathing shallowly, Sam watched him sniffling as his older brother stared back at him imploringly. It was always him, that was Dean's weakness. Almost all vampires were instinctively co-dependent with one another, almost like a nesting effect in their nature. So it would make sense to physically harm Sam more than him, since Dean was fiercely protective of his brother. "There was no other way, Sammy.... I had to say yes to them...." he mumbled, shakily getting to his feet. "It was the only way I can save you...."_

_"B-but.... that would mean...."_

_"Yeah...." Dean nodded numbly._

_"They'll monitor us.... W-waiting for a chance to take us down again," Sam rasped out. "W-we should've left this country or something--"_

_"We couldn't anyway.... they know about Bobby and the others, there's no telling what they would've done to them...." Dean frowned grimly. "But, Sammy.... I did it for you.... They would have fucking kill you, and I would have to watch that." The chains on his wrists rattled as he reached to touch his face. The skin was cold and crusted with old blood. It was too much to bear to see his younger brother like this as he pulled his hand away._

_"Wha-- what're you doing....?" Sam gasped softly, when he noticed him biting into his own arm. The smell of Dean's blood caught him off-guard, his body mechanism instantly urging to lust after it as his fangs came out. "D-Dean...."_

_"Don't worry about me, baby brother.... Here...." The blood from the wound dripped onto Sam's lips and Sam immediately bared his teeth as he let out a pleading growl. He had been hungry for far too long. "Take it, Sam-- a-ahh....!" Dean gritted in pain when Sam latched onto his arm, slurping and gulping it down greedily as his weak body began to struggle under the chains._

_Dean wasn't as debilitated as he was, but to offer blood like this when his older brother was barely able to stand wasn't hard to ignore. When he was about to sway, Sam sensed it and as much as he wanted to keep drinking, he pulled himself away with a strained growl. "You.... you shouldn't have done that, Dean...." he panted raggedly._

_"I don't care.... Those fuckers know of your condition, about what you had done these past several years. That's why they kept leaving you high and dry," panted Dean. Sam glanced at him in grim realization, before hanging his head. ".... It wasn't your fault, Sam, if that's what you're thinking...."_

_".... It is, Dean," he mumbled._

_"No, I won't let you take the blame for this, for all of this...." Dean frowned sadly, kneeling down again. His hands grasped at his brother's slightly bigger one as he felt the hot tears stinging in his eyes. "I've covered everything up, just to keep you safe. That was my sin.... I let it happen to you, yet I only care about looking after you. To keep you happy and everything."_

_"But.... I wasn't happy with what I was becoming--"_

_"That's why I tried so hard, Sammy....!" he gritted his teeth. "That's why I'm taking everything in, that I wanted to go back to the way it was but I knew it wasn't possible! I still tried and I will continue trying! Can't you get that....?"_

_".... I've killed so many people, Dean.... That shouldn't be your burden," Sam mumbled sadly._

_"It is.... Mom, she told me.... she told me that it was my duty to look after you from the moment you were born," sniffled Dean. "Even Dad said the same thing, that asshole.... Everything you've done, that's on me, Sammy. I'll take on the blame to myself no matter what. That's why they forced me into this offer, I can't do this without you...."_

_Dean breathed deeply and harshly, he couldn't stop the tears flowing down his dirt-covered cheeks as he shook his head in absolute remorse. "I'm.... so sorry, Sammy.... I failed, I fucked up," he muttered with his voice cracked bitterly. "I should've kept a better eye on you, I didn't mean for all of this to happen. I just.... I dunno, I wish we didn't have this curse on us."_

_To see his brother broken like this, Sam felt as remorseful. His fingers ached when he moved them but he gripped his hands back. He wanted to get out of his chains and embraced him, not wanting him to take all the guilt and the pain he had given him for so many years. What good would this deal do for them if Dean will become nothing but a grunt on a tight leash....?_

_".... You... you should've killed me a long time ago, Dean," muttered Sam._

_"And what would happen to me if I had done that....?" he sniffed. "Us vamps cannot live alone; I got no reason to keep on going if you're gone.... I got no one, Sammy...._

_"S-so.... you would rather have both of us living damned than you trying to move on, finding someone to love....?" his brother questioned in a pitiful mumble._

_"Tch, our bloodline and our family name-- it's already fucking cursed.... Who in their right mind would be with either of us?" Dean scoffed bitterly. "It will always be just us.... there ain't no me if there ain't no you."_

_"Dean...."_

_"This.... is the only way to keep you safe, Sammy...." mumbled Dean with another sniffle. "Where we're going.... it'll be easy, not so many humans but plenty of wilderness. You won't go berserk so easily, I promise you that...."_

_"And if it doesn't work out for me, what then, Dean....?" frowned Sam, and Dean looked at him with narrowed but teary eyes as his own frown tightened._

_"I'll still fucking protect you.... I'll die trying fighting against them," he gritted. "But they cannot do anything about it anyway, because I agreed on this deal."_

_"And it's an impossible deal..."_

_"I don't care.... at least I got you, little brother," he said, as if trying to convince himself. And he was.... because deep down, he was still afraid of what could happen to them. They had been afraid of ending up like this.... ever since Sam had admitted about his first human kill at the age of 22. That was why they ran away from home and from their domineering father who had warned Dean of his brother's violent powers._

_That was when he was ordered to kill Sam to prevent further corruption to their already tainted family name, something he could never do. Following his father's commands was second nature to him ever since he was a child, yet his promise to his late mother was stronger when it came to Sam._

_".... If Dad could see us, he'd be downright furious at what we've done...." muttered Sam._

_"He'd be too drunk off his ass to be furious...." scoffed Dean. "Another reason why our bloodline's fucked...." Squeezing his brother's hand, he leaned against his lap as a few more tears managed to trickle down. ".... I'm too stubborn to let you die, or to kill myself.... We need to live, Sam, Mom would want us to live...."_

_".... I believe that, Dean...." Sam muttered honestly yet sadly, his breathing better now that the blood healed up his body a little. "We have to.... stick together, no matter what...."_

_"Yeah...."_

A loud booming crash erupted suddenly, jolting Dean out of his sleep. Sitting up, his widened glowing eyes darted around as he tried to catch his breath for a few seconds. "What the fuck was that....?!" he gasped. Another second later, his sharp hearing caught what sounded like rushing water outside. "Wha... what...?" Stumbling out of his bed, he moved to pull back the curtains. The window was sloshed down by heavy rainfall, it was hard to see outside but he caught the sight of a flashing light in the sky.

"So that what woke me up...." he grumbled, hearing a loud rumbling about five seconds later. "Shit...." He sat back onto his bed, checking the time on the phone and realized that it was almost three. It was daytime but it was about as dark as night because of the storm. He yawned and plopped himself into the ruffled sheets. There was no reason to stay awake now because of the rain--

"Ah! My baby....!" Dean realized in shock and jumped out of bed. "Shit, I forgot that I left her out....!" In a flash, the vampire rushed out of his room and down the stairs. In his haste, he didn't notice really Castiel when he passed by him to unlock and open the door.

The priest was greatly startled by the blur and nearly fell back, his widened blue eyes stared at the door left open. What was that about....? Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he looked and noticed the rain were pouring inside, quickly soaking the floor. He wondered who it was that rushed out of here but his good guess would be Dean. Trying to consider of whether or not to close the door, he was startled when the blur rushed back in and closed the door.

"Whew, I thought for sure I left my baby out in the rain...." Dean panted in relief. His entire body was soaked from the heavy rain, with mud stained all over his bare feet.

"Wh-what had just happened....?" muttered Castiel.

"Oh.... forgot that you were there, Cas," Dean sighed after noticing him. "I thought I left my baby outside the garage, I was fixing her up the other night but I didn't remember putting her back in."

"You... mean your car," he frowned lightly.

"What else....? But it was better to be safe than sorry, Cas," he nodded, scratching through his wet hair. Sorry obviously wasn't in this vampire's vocabulary, as usual, as Castiel frowned at his now dirty state. "Huh, I expected Sam to be up and get mad at me for rushing out like that...." shrugged Dean.

"He'd be upset at you nonetheless, for leaving tracks...." muttered Castiel.

"Huh...." Dean looked down to notice his dirty feet but shrugged it off with a smirk. "Well.... I can't really leave tracks if I go fast enough."

"Huh--" The priest flinched again when Dean rushed past him, before hearing the hard slamming of the bathroom door. He blinked and looked down, Dean still left tracks across the wooden floor, though barely as much as the vampire's toes were printed. He sighed deeply, going into the kitchen and sat by the table. The discomforting pain in his left shoulder shot up and he inhaled at that.

Dean had gone deeper into his muscles and drunk more of his blood. It hurt to the bones and he himself was out the moment he left the bathroom last night. As a matter of fact, he had just woken up almost an hour before the vampire's panicked awakening. But he still felt weak and sluggish, as he reached for the iron pills and gazed at the bottle. Today was Monday, so it would mean that Dean would feed on him tomorrow night.

And Dean teased him that he will bite him somewhere else, but he wasn't sure if that were to be true. But he doesn't wish to be bitten on the shoulder again. With a cup of water, he swallowed down the iron as well as the other vitamins. Maybe he might have to take more later on to replenish his body. Although he didn't really wish to do, not when his blood was going to get drunk again.

"Lord, give me the strength...." he sighed tiredly.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Staying completely still in his bed, Sam heard his brother exclaiming about the Impala and rushing out of the house but he didn't bother to move. Gripping tightly on the bedsheets, his glowing partially opened eyes stared at the bookshelf as he breathed evenly. The rain outside sounded like a torrential waterfall.... and he was glad for that. It would mean that the DNA of his saliva would be washed off that poor victim.

He couldn't believe himself.... Two years of living in Montana with no problems, and now he broke his personal promise of not attacking and feeding on humans by himself. He had let his anger seep out from not drinking enough blood. And animal blood.... it could fill him up but it wouldn't always satisfy him. That was why Dean often shared his victims with him, with the older brother making sure that he had enough.

But with Castiel around now, one of them had to stay behind for hours at a time. And for most of those times, it would be Sam. Not that he didn't really have a problem with the human.... but his inner instincts were inching out little by little, and as much as he drank animal blood and alcohol, it was hard to temper it down without a taste of human blood once in a while.

If only Dean had noticed the signs, of how antsy he was starting to get. But concerns over Castiel were overwhelming so of course his older brother wouldn't know. He let out a harsh exhale. He could still taste the blood from that man, laced with some disgusting brand of beer but it was still good nonetheless. But.... he let his other side come out, enjoying the sight of his victim pleading and begging for his life.

Humans like that thought themselves being tough and arrogant, and it was that attitude in which that would get them killed. And with the hunger that he had, Sam would have killed him when he tore into his throat. But he only stopped after taking about three or four gulps when Dean called him, breaking him out of his sociopathic trance. His phone buzzed several times but he didn't answer it.

He immediately became too afraid to do so after he let the man go. He was afraid that Dean might notice a guttural change in his voice if he had answered, that he had drunk some fresh blood that his brother knew it couldn't have been from animals. Without hesitation, he picked up the half-dead victim and rushed off to the forest. He was still fearful of being seen like this, if their followers were to know that he had done this, it would come right back to Dean as he dumped the limp body near a stream where he vigorously washed his face.

Sam didn't answer his phone again when it buzzed once more, he didn't need to but he knew that it was safe to go home. If he had come home half-hungry, he might have been tempted around Castiel. Just as he truly was when he had fixed the priest's shoulder the other day. He was convincing himself that he was fine then, but he was so close to it, he would have gotten a taste of it if he hadn't forgotten the trust Castiel had on him.

Breathing deeply, Sam slowly sat up. Even after that human blood he had drunk, he still felt shaky and unfocused, as if he was still apprehensive that Dean might find out sooner or later. It would only give his brother more grief to take on, and he wouldn't do that to him. Taking out of his broody musing, he heard footsteps coming close to his room and he frowned. No doubt that Dean will be coming in to talk to him.

".... Sammy, you awake in there?" came his brother's quiet voice with a knock on the closed door.

"Um.... Yeah, I just woke up, from the storm and stuff...." he mumbled. But his voice was obviously heard, as Dean opened the door and stepped in. "You took a shower, huh? Of course, after tracking mud in the house...." he sighed.

"Hey, at least I was making sure that my baby's okay," nodded Dean, clad only in his boxers as he rubbed his damp hair with a towel. "Speaking of which.... are _you_ okay, Sam? I called you twice last night but you didn't answer right away. I thought something happened to you."

".... Not really, I was using the restroom while in town, sorry," sighed Sam.

"Taking a shit or something? Nah, I don't really wanna know," Dean shrugged, before he walked up to the bed. ".... It's coming up again, huh?" he asked seriously and Sam frowned in defense. "I had a feeling.... you were kinda getting there, like some diabetic needing his insulin."

"Well, I didn't wanna worry you, now that you got Cas," he muttered.

"Never mind the padre, Sammy. You should've brought it up sooner," he frowned as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "It's annoying.... drinking too much human blood, not drinking enough of it, either way you get fucked up if I don't keep track of it."

"It's all right, Dean," sighed Sam as he scratched through his hair, his eyes glancing down to avoid his judging gaze. "I'm doing fine, it has only been about-- what, a week since I last had some human blood? I've went on longer than that."

"Yeah, just before you go on a bloodthirsty rampage, Sam. That's why you need to drink some at least once in a while," frowned Dean.

"Yeah...." Sam mumbled almost unconvincingly. His older brother didn't seem to notice him being off, that he was feeling internally guilty that he had went behind his back and fed unsupervised. "But, Dean.... we can't go out together twice a week without leaving Cas here, and with the blood bank thing--"

"Tch, excuses, excuses," Dean grumbled as he held out his wrist and presented it to Sam who blinked in surprise.

"Dean, what're you--"

"It'll hold you off until I can figure it out for you," he frowned at him. "Maybe, I dunno, we could call up Benny. He got his own black market shit that's not even in the vamps' protocols. Just hurry up and take it, Sammy...."

"Well.... Fine...." By not taking it, Dean would get suspicious, he knew of it. Tentatively, he grabbed the hand and the forearm, as he exhaled with his sharp teeth coming out. He could see the prominent vein throbbing just underneath the skin and he growled. Even the taste of that human was pale in comparison, when he sank his teeth into the skin and felt his older brother's blood gushing out.

Dean inhaled quietly at the sharp pain, but his face stayed neutral. Keeping track on Sam's hunger was his number one priority, ever since his younger brother's powers were getting stronger. It was never this difficult when they were children. Before their true fangs can grow out, vampire children were fed blood by their parents and can manage better with human food before puberty hit. But with their father being absent half the time, Dean learned early on and let Sam drink his blood, pricking his fingers so he can suckle it.

But now it was nothing short of a ritual between the brothers, as Sam let out a content groan and let go of Dean's wrist. "Is it better now, Sam?" asked Dean.

"Yeah.... I'm good now...." Sam sighed deeply, licking up the now healing wound before letting go of his arm. "But.... you always know that it's just a temporary solution. Not even the blood of a pureblood is the best substitute for me."

"No, but it's good enough to hold off while I contact Benny," Dean muttered with a shrug and his brother frowned at that. "Don't make that bitch face, it's better than you munching on some sap without me around, right?"

".... Fine, you're right, Dean," muttered Sam with resignation. "So.... how's Cas doing? Is he feeling all right after your super fun night?"

"Tch, he wanted to know if he was still considered missing in the news," he frowned. "More like demanded to know when I think about it...."

"What did you expect, Dean? It's the start of the second week since you kidnapped him." Feeling rather refreshed despite of the time of day, Sam got out of his bed. "You said that we were keeping him around until the possible panic in his hometown dies down. But with the blood bank still busted and you deciding to drink his blood, it's becoming more difficult," he sighed deeply as he sat by his desk and opened his laptop.

"Don't forget that the first reason we have him was that he couldn't be compelled," shrugged Dean. "And until we find that reason, he'll be stuck with us--"

"For how long, Dean?" Sam questioned him. "Changing our eating patterns, buying human food. Our followers will get suspicious with each night passes. And I don't think Cas would want to stay with us if this goes on to possibly a month or two."

".... Maybe by then, his hometown will think that he's dead, that'd be a good thing," sighed Dean. "Why? So you can have him as your personal snack from now on?"

"It's not like that, Sam," the older vampire frowned, watching his brother typing and scanning over the news websites in record time. "I just thought that, well, he should get a new identity, a new life, should that happens."

".... What if he doesn't want that, Dean? What if he wishes to stay as a priest?" Sam muttered.

"Not possible.... Our own laws are fucked up; if the other were to find out about him then it's game over," Dean huffed. "That's why it's better that he does something else when we let him go, Sam."

" _If_ we let him go, if you get tired of him...." Sam pointed out. "But of course, that won't happen anytime soon, since he's now your walking lunchable." Dean clicked his tongue at his cheekiness but he was right. He enjoyed drinking Castiel's blood, of how pure and luscious the taste was on his tongue. Thinking about it, the next session was tomorrow night. Biting on Castiel's already wounded shoulder wouldn't be too good for the human.

But the thought of sinking his fang elsewhere on his body was tantalizing, to say the least. Maybe he should take him down a peg and sexually tease the awkward priest. It was fun the first couple of times, to see his face flustered and his skin beet-red with embarrassment. "Well.... I'm going back to bed, I know when I'm not needed," he sighed as he was about to leave the room.

"I need you to clean those muddy tracks after rushing in and out of the cabin, jerk," frowned Sam, still focusing on his laptop.

"Tch.... yeah, yeah, I'll get right to it," sighed Dean as he left the room. Sam waited until he heard his brother going into his bedroom, before clicking through local news sites. One caught his eyes and he clicked on it.

_**'Local Man Missing After Drunken Fight'** _

His frown tightened at that. Not much was mentioned as the story was brief, saying that this man-- named Robert Kinnley-- was seen arguing with his girlfriend before some unknown man stepped in. Sam sighed in disbelief. It wasn't even a fight as witnessed, he practically swatted him away like a fly. But this was still troublesome, no doubt that the humans over there might recognize him if this person remained missing and he could be a person of interest.

And Dean could find out about this as well.... He clicked off the story and frowned, hearing the harsh rain splattering against the window. He didn't kill the man of drinking him dry, but he might as well have if the weather gave him pneumonia. However.... oddly enough, the death of one more unknown human didn't really worry him, it was Dean's reaction to it that was more concerning. But.... at least the hunger as well as the anger had shrunk down within himself, as he scratched through his hair.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Feeling his loins stirring in anticipation, Dean took one more gulp before letting go of the victim's neck. A young college girl who thought to get lucky with him after doing shots with her girlfriends, although he was the lucky one at the moment. "Hmm.... thanks a lot, sweetheart, I need a good meal," Dean growled softly, licking up the small wound he created.

The bite was shallow enough to pose as a hickey but just to make sure, he splashed it with a bottle of beer in his hand. "Ah.... oww...." the bewitched girl winced slightly from the burning alcohol.

"Sorry, can't have my trademark known this way...." he smirked, licking his lips clean of her blood as he looked at her dulled out eyes. "Look, honey.... you've gotten too tipsy and on a verge of puking out chunks, that will turn me off and I will leave you be," he muttered with his green-gold eyes glowing. "Got that, sweetheart....?"

"Uhh.... y-yeah," mumbled the girl.

"Good.... After you blow chunks, you go back to your friends and that's it...." Dean murmured before smirking. "Good-bye...." With that, he instantly moved away and hid in the shadows. He watched the girl that was standing there for a moment, before hunching over and retching out bile. He was glad that worked, compelling powers were practically limitless but the thing with Castiel was still a challenge.

He waited until the confused girl wobbled out of the alley for the bar and drank the rest of his beer. Her blood was good but he didn't want the taste of it linger for later tonight. Dean grinned to himself, his own body was reacting to the thought of pinning down Castiel and biting in places where he could mark the human as his. The glass bottle barely had a chance to shatter when he tossed it, before rushing out of the town.

Three counties later, he reached the cabin with a sense of excitement rushing down to his arousing crotch. Just as he was about to reach the door, it was suddenly opened and Sam stepped out. "Took you long enough, I had to go somewhere, Dean," frowned the tall vampire.

"Sorry, Sammy. Geez, where's the fire?" Dean sighed.

"Well.... you don't want me to have company around Cas, right....?" Sam muttered, and his older brother's glee deflated instantly. "It was your suggestion, not mine, remember?" he frowned at him. "Besides, it's better not having Ruby here and get suspicious. We both know how nosy she is--"

"She's nosy because she's Lilith's lapdog," scoffed Dean but he shook his head. "You know what....? As long as she's not anywhere near here, that's fine. At least I got Cas all to myself for the night."

"When you say it like that, it sounds like you're going to fuck him," he frowned disapprovingly. That made Dean smirk a little as he shrugged.

"If he stops being such a prude, I might take up that offer," he grinned.

"Whatever.... if you need me, I'll be in Idaho, I'm not going to be back until tomorrow evening," sighed Sam as he walked past him.

"Wait-- Idaho....? Why out of state, Sammy?" he questioned out of mild concern.

"Ruby doesn't want to start trouble just by being in Montana, that's her suggestion," he nodded. Dean frowned at that; he didn't want his brother to go off to somewhere else with a girl like her. Not without a drink of human blood, as he let out a heavy sigh.

".... Fine, just don't go stalking after humans, Sam," he sighed. "If anything, ask some vamp over there to spare you a bag or something."

"Sure, Dean, I'll be careful," nodded Sam with a small reassuring smile. "I promise, tomorrow...." He ran off instantly, as Dean stepped into the cabin. He had expected Castiel to be awake and alert over the both of them to be alone. But.... the priest didn't seem to notice him at all, as he was slumped in the couch resting his eyes. Of course Castiel would still feel tired from the last time Dean had fed on him, but the vampire knew that he should wake up now, as he stalked around the furniture and gazed at his vulnerable form.

Even with furrowed eyebrows, Castiel seemed rather peaceful. Days of not combing or brushing made his black-brown hair rather wild and tousled, however, as if he had delved into sinful decadence himself. The slightly parted light pink lips, though a bit chapped, looked pretty soft and kissable. Wanting to get a better look, Dean crouched down and stared at his face more closely.

With his sharper vision, he looked at how his chest rise and fall with the calm breathing. Even the sound of the human's heartbeats was soothing to hear for once. It was a force of habit for a vampire to stare, as Dean watched Castiel subconsciously propped a palm against his stubble-covered cheek but continued sleeping. He noticed how fair his skin was, close to the same tone as Sam's though he was slightly tanner. Dean then gazed at the pinkish scars at his neck and bit his bottom lip. He was still hungry, but seeing at how innocent and vulnerable the priest was far more amusing.

The slight fluttering of his eyelids caught Dean's attention but didn't move away. Instead, he waited with a slight smirk as Castiel groaned softly and rubbed his eyes. "Ahh.... Wha-- Lord in Heaven....!" the priest gasped in utter shock when he noticed Dean right in front of him. "Why in God's name were you staring at me like that....?!" he gasped sharply, gripping at his shirt with his heart thumping like crazy.

"I was waiting for your ass to wake up, Padre," grinned Dean.

"But-- that is so unnecessary....! To look at me like that....!" Castiel scoffed in disbelief though the vampire chuckled as he stood up.

"Looking at you how, as food or as.... something else, Padre?" he teased. Castiel frowned at him as he rubbed his eyes. He was still tired, though his shoulder was still aching. He didn't want to do this right now, but Dean was waiting rather patiently for him to get up. "Tick-tock.... you can't really stall out, Cas," Dean sighed as he took his jacket off and tossed it onto the recliner. "The last time, I was giving you the benefit of a doubt and went slow on you. But I can't wait on you, so come on...."

Castiel frowned, he didn't wish to follow after him once the vampire went upstairs. He felt like he was chipping away his soul for doing this, but there was no other choice as he reluctantly got to his feet and moved for upstairs. By the time he reached the bedroom, he saw Dean already shirtless and pacing around before he was noticed.

"C'mon.... If you just gonna stand there, I might get a little pissed off," he sighed. No threat was in his tone, but Castiel obeyed as he slowly walked up to the slightly taller man. The priest shuddered a little when the hands slipped underneath his T-shirt, the callous fingers grazing over the skin as the fabric was lifted up. "Calm down.... it's getting rather annoying to hear your heart jumping like a fucking jackrabbit every single time," he sighed, taking the T-shirt off him.

".... What can you expect....? I cannot be completely calm about this unholy exchange between us...." frowned Castiel. Dean smirked lightly, his eyes gazed at the bandaged shoulder before gripping at his wrist.

"Well.... if you were into the hard juice, it'd be easier to feed on your drunk ass," he rumbled. "Come on, get on the bed, Cas."

"I do not get why I should--" Castiel was abruptly shoved onto the messy nest of bedsheets and pillow. He didn't have a chance to react when Dean climbed onto the bed, the vampire's eyes glowed with eagerness before he pulled him into a sitting position.

"Don't wanna bite you in the shoulder again.... I could damage the nerves too much," he muttered, rubbing the flustered priest's right shoulder. "And you'd be useless if I chomp on this one since this is your dominant arm.... Guess that means I could go for the neck if I want to...."

"That'd be too noticeable if you've done that...." frowned Castiel, trying his hardest not to feel intimidated by how Dean caressing his thumb over his scarred neck.

"True, that's why I'm gonna bite you somewhere else...." With the sharp incisors out, Dean gazed around his upper body almost hungrily. Despite being stuck in this cabin and not stretching his legs, Castiel had a lithe but firm body, as he could feel the smaller biceps when he ran his hand down the arm. "Hmm, this will do," he grinned, grasping at his forearm and pressed his thumb against the pulse on his wrist.

"Ahh....! N-no, it'll still show--" he gasped. "You sure about that, Cas....? I can find another area that you won't probably appreciate," smirked Dean. "Would you rather take that risk, or do you want me to nibble on your little wrist here?"

"Either way, you'll take a joy out of it, won't you....?" Castiel scoffed at him. Dean's smirk lessened a bit, before pinning him down on the mattress. The vampire inhaled on the clean scent as he then nuzzled into his throat, making Castiel squirm in protest once he felt the slimy tongue dragging over scarred skin. "Stop that....! What you're doing to me now is beyond immoral!" he winced.

"Padre, you've forgotten who you're dealing with...." growled Dean. "A bloodthirsty monster with a 500-paged list of sexual partners.... Immorality's my fucking middle name, Cas, I thought I told you that already."

"Then you should not use me as your sick pleasure--"

"I'll use you in any way I please...." he rumbled, suddenly groping the priest's crotch through the slacks. Castiel gasped sharply in horror, reacting instantly by shoving at his chest though Dean was practically solid steel above him. "Tch, even touching you like this.... no reaction at all?" growled Dean when he palmed the lax member much to Castiel's sheer revulsion.

"Don't! You've no shame for doing this to me....!" Castiel winced, his face flushing red with mortification as he pushed at him again.

"Shame? As if you priests are saints yourselves...." he growled.

"S-stop it, right now....!" the priest gritted, this time grabbing at Dean's hand that was groping him, digging his fingernails into rough skin. Dean's glowing eyes seemed to narrow at that, he didn't expect the priest to scratch at his hand. With a deep warning growl, he used his free hand to grab at his messy hair. "Ahh!" Castiel yelped out at the sharp tugging pain, his throat bared for the vampire's teeth to sink in.

But Dean didn't bother to, instead he kissed and sucked at the skin. This time, he was harsher, making the skin bruise deep red. Ignoring the pained whimpering from the human, he continued the lewd actions as he trailed his tongue around the clavicle.

"Just-- Oh, Lord, just stop this....!" Castiel winced, his eyes stinging with warm tears from the painful tugging on his hair. "I get it! Y-you've already proven that I'm your hostage--"

"Oh, you're much more than that, Cas....!" growled Dean. "You're the most challenging guy I've met.... And I gotta say, I actually like it when you fight back sometimes....!" His fangs nicked at the skin, and the blood welled in time to catch it on his tongue. "Oh fuck, your blood gets me so hard....!" he purred in delight.

"Y-you're sick...!"

"Am I?" Dean stared at his widened eyes and smirked before finally letting go of his hair. "I'm not lying about Sam not being able to do anything about this.... What can he do about me feeling you up like this?" he growled, the crotch in his hand barely stirring compared to the arousing bulge in his constricting jeans.

"I-I'll.... still tell him--" winced Castiel, but the glowing green-gold eyes practically pierced into his soul as Dean let out a low growl.

"Do it then.... I dare you, Castiel...." he rumbled. The threatening way he said his full name shook him to the core. The vampire's hand that left his hair then traveled to his chest, feeling the erratic heartbeats under the left pectoral. "Enough foreplay for now.... I found another way to get my fix." Much to Castiel's utter relief, Dean let go of his crotch but the hand moved to knead his right inner thigh. It was then his sharpened fingernails ripped into the fabric, revealing the smooth skin.

"Wha.... what're you doing....?" Castiel gasped softly. Dean didn't answer to him as he moved downward, his body pinning against the priest's other leg before he held tightly to the exposed one. "S-stop it--" The sharp teeth pierced into the taut skin and he let out a choked gasp. The pain was much more intense, the nerves traveling throughout his entire leg as he shook it out of reflex. But Dean's hold on him was impervious as he gulped down the first mouthful of the priest's precious blood.

Dean didn't pay attention to the shuddering gasps from Castiel. He could feel the thigh muscles quivering, as if the human tried to wrestle away from his hold. "Oh God.... No, stop it...." panted Castiel, almost into a sobbing manner. "P-please.... This is... so wrong...."

Taking another gulp, Dean glanced up and blinked in surprise, realizing that the priest was attempting to cover the front of his slacks. Castiel couldn't get out of his hold, as he writhed and whined with his teary eyes tightly shut. So he _can_ get aroused, Dean noted. Probably because of the nerves that were reacting to the pain. He mentally smirked, at least he finally got his body to respond in a way that the priest himself wouldn't wish for it to happen.

"Please, Lord.... forgive me, I don't want this...." Castiel panted tearfully, feeling the nerves constantly shooting up to his loins as he shuddered. "This devil in disguise.... trying to drive me into his dark and evil temptations.... Please, protect my soul from this...."

"Hmm.... if you're gonna keep praying, do it with your brain," growled Dean when he let go of the bloody wound. "I find that annoying, y'know...." Castiel winced in painful surprise when the teeth went back in. He whimpered and wanted to keep chanting to his god. But the morbid sensation he was receiving was getting too much to bear. He was getting aroused by this vampire sucking on his blood, and it was making him sick to the stomach.

So wrong.... so sinful....

"P-please...." he murmured. With a short but satisfying growl, Dean let go this time, sucking and licking away the wound clean.

"Fuck....!" he panted with gratification. "There.... that wasn't so hard, huh, Cas....?"

"You.... you devil...." Castiel gritted softly, sniffling as he wiped away his tears. "Why must you torment me this way....?"

"Getting a raging boner is not torment, Cas, not unless you count those freaky people who's into S&M...." scoffed Dean as he got off the bed. Looking at Castiel, he noticed his flushed condition as the priest tried to steady his flustered breaths. The wound on his inner thigh wasn't so bad though there was some amount of blood stained on the khaki fabric. But he soon gazed at the front of the slacks and smirked slightly in smugness. "Then again.... you're probably on the 'M' part, Cas. Maybe I found your weak spot...."

"You're insane....! I didn't truly enjoy it, it's nothing but a disgusting temptation you're trying to push upon me....!" scowled Castiel when he glared at him, only to hiss in pain when he tried to move his leg.

"I'm considered disgusting, Padre?" Dean questioned. Within a second, he was back on the bed, pinning down Castiel as he abruptly groped at his partially aroused groin. The priest winced and yelped out, this time his body was reacting against him, feeling a disturbing sensation in his lower stomach. "You've vowed to your god about chastity and all that shit. Yet you let a vampire-- a _guy_ no doubt, to make your dick act like this. Quit being such a good little boy scout, Cas.... there's nothing wrong of feeling this way."

"It is wrong....! Your actions are nothing short of abominations towards me--" Castiel scowled at him.

"Then you'll just have to keep on enduring it...." Dean growled, his hold on the human's crotch tightened slightly and Castiel let out a choked gasp. "You're still missing to the public.... as far as they're concerned, you're pretty much 'dead' considering the ass-load amount of forest surrounding the towns," he grunted, his glowing eyes narrowed at his stunned face. "That should be a good thing, maybe they'll forget about you soon...."

"S-stop that...."

"It's true, Cas.... That's how humans are, that's how everybody are," he rumbled. "Once you're missing, they'll forget about you within weeks and move on with their fucking lives. Like they got more important things than just being concerned about one simple person that's not even their friend or family. And that's what you are, some small-town priest that they'll simply replace with another one after they 'prayed' for your safe return." He let go of him and got off the bed. "If you think that I'm wrong, then guess again.... Who honestly cares about those who aren't important to them....?"

"Wha.... What're you saying....?" winced Castiel, managing to sit up.

".... Just sit tight, I'll go grab the first aid," Dean muttered gruffly, as he walked out of his bedroom. Castiel frowned in disbelief, taking in deep pants as he shifted uncomfortably. Even as a partial arousal, he realized that it wasn't going down soon. He was so ashamed of himself.... Mentally he didn't want that reaction yet his body betrayed him. And Dean was the one who did it, as he sniffled a couple of times.

"Please, God.... I am so sorry, I didn't want for this to happen...." he mumbled, gingerly rubbing the injured thigh. "Forgive me, please.... I am at the mercy of the Devil, so please protect my soul, as I am you Child...." He glanced up, noticing his surrounding for the first time now with the dull yellow light dimly filling up the bedroom.

He had seen Sam's room from spending that one night in there, appearing much like his office with more bookshelves. But here was rather messy in comparison, with piles of soiled clothes scattered over the floor. Behind him, there were stacks of old magazines on the dresser, with a couple of them leaning precariously against one another. Then he looked across the room, noticing a desk with a closed laptop that had scratches and dents all over the exterior. But.... behind that laptop, there were a few framed photographs, no more than three.

Castiel blinked in slight surprise. It was hard to see due to the dimmed lighting, but they seemed to be.... family pictures.... It has to be, as he made out the outlines of a woman hugging a child in one small photo.

Was this.... Dean and Sam's family? And the woman in the picture.... was that their....?

He shuddered when Dean came back in, his face bordering on annoyance as he plopped himself onto the bed. "I can't believe this shit...." he grumbled, when the roll of gauze suddenly unraveled in his hands. Castiel flinched slightly when the vampire tore off the already ripped fabric of his slacks. He could hear his deep breathing as the stinging ointment rubbed over the tongue-cleaned wound.

".... It's ironic...." mumbled Castiel, catching Dean's attention.

"What is....?" he muttered.

"The reason I'm in this situation was because it was _me_ who had treated the wound on your leg....." he frowned bitterly, not meeting his surprise-filled eyes.

"Shit, I didn't realize that," sighed Dean.

"Of course not...." he huffed quietly. Dean frowned at that, before wrapping the upper leg with the bandage. ".... Can I go now, I wish to sleep off this pain...." muttered Castiel.

"If you can walk, then be my guest," frowned Dean. Now Castiel glanced at him, his eyes squinted slightly in confusion. Considering that he was bitten close to his nerves, it was obvious that he would be in pain if he were to try to take a step.

".... I'll take my chances," he frowned, getting off the bed. But he let a strained painful yelp as soon as he put his weight onto the right leg. Dean simply watched, not saying anything as the priest sucked in his breath before taking a step. "Aghh....!" he winced. The pain kept shooting up every few seconds, with the addition of the bloodloss that was making him wobble, as he let out a quivering breath.

".... Very stubborn, aren't you, Padre?" muttered Dean.

"As if you would care...." gritted Castiel, wincing when he took a few more steps.

"Fucking prick."

"Ahh--" Castiel was suddenly back onto the messy bed. His body nearly bounced before Dean pinned him down once more, his widened eyes staring in disbelief at the growling vampire. "What.... why are you doing this....?" he gasped.

"Again and again, you like being a snarky little shit.... and I'm getting sick of it," he growled lowly. "You're lucky that you're still _alive_ , you're lucky that I'm being this lenient towards you. As a fucking priest, you should be glad that me and Sam haven't dare to do much worse to you."

".... You haven't done worse to me yet.... Who knows how long I must be your prisoner, you selfish monster...." Castiel gritted softly. Dean huffed deeply, his sharp teeth bared as he grabbed around his jaw and leaned close to his face.

"Don't tempt me.... Don't fucking tempt me...." he growled lowly. "You're stuck with me for a good 24 hours. So I expect you to play nice.... Sammy ain't around to babysit you this time."

".... You're truly enjoying this, aren't you....?" huffed Castiel, his eyes ached from the dried tears as he glared at him. "I may be a Catholic.... but it would make sense that death would be a better mercy than you toying around with me as your food for weeks to come...."

"Oh yeah....? Well, asking for a death wish is a coward's way out, Cas," Dean rumbled, his warm breath tainted with the priest's blood with his lips so close to the chapped ones. "Again.... shut your fucking mouth and be grateful, or else I'll rip that tongue off and shove it right up your ass. Right after I take that stick outta there first, you understand me....?"

"What's there to understand--"

"I said, do you _understand_ me....?" he gritted, as he suddenly groped at his crotch and Castiel winced by his tight grip.

"Ye.... y-yes...." he winced. "I.... understand...."

"Good...." With a deep huff, Dean let go of him and sat back. "You can't walk that off for now.... So, you stay here and rest, no buts," he muttered, ignoring the shocked reaction on Castiel's face. He then roughly nudged him to the center of the bed before shutting off the light.

"Wha--"

"Shut up and go to sleep, okay....?" he grumbled. Castiel blinked in surprise when he heard a rough rustling of fabric in the complete darkness just before a heavy arm suddenly wrapped around him. The priest gasped when he felt the solid chest right against his back, not able to make sense of their skins touching so intimately like this.

"B-but--"

"Hey.... Close your eyes and count some fucking sheep...." huffed Dean with an annoyed sigh. "Just ignore the boner in my boxers and just sleep.... I may be a vamp, but I'm hitting the hay early. And don't ask why.... I got my reasons."

Castiel didn't really want to ask why Dean was going to sleep early, as he was far more concerned as of why he was forced to lay in the same bed with him. He just blinked in the darkness, listening to the even breathing that was tickling at the nape of his neck. Tonight was nothing but a whirlwind of intense hostility on both sides, but Dean seemed more antagonistic about something else besides his religion.

As a matter of fact, Dean's moods shifted every time he would protest and argue with him. And earlier it seemed worse, with the vampire ranting about the ones not being important and not wanted in society. Something wasn't right.... At first, Castiel thought the brothers were hiding out here simply to avoid suspicion from the human population. But was there something else that was making Dean this way?

The ache in his leg throbbed and was hard to ignore, but he reluctantly closed his eyes and sighed. Worrying about it too much wouldn't do anything for him right now, as he tried to go to sleep. Though it was truly hard to with this vampire snoring softly right now.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

With a deep pleasurable growl, Sam gulped down a mouthful of blood just as he climaxed. His clawed fingers gripped at the cheap motel bedsheets to the point of ripping when he felt Ruby reaching an orgasm herself. "Ahh! Damn....!" Sam growled deeply. "Ughh.... Shit....!" he panted heatedly, hearing his girlfriend moaning softly as they soon relished in the aftermath.

"Damn, Sammy.... you seemed rougher than usual...." Ruby laughed breathlessly. Sam scoffed in slight amusement before lapping at the healing wound on her shoulder.

"Quit calling me that, it sounds creepy after sex," he panted as he nuzzled into her damp hair. "Sorry.... Just trying to make up for lost time, Ruby."

"Yeah, after that brother of yours kicked me out--"

"To be fair, I was the one who kicked you out.... after that fiasco with Dean's human and Dean being pissed off at us over the couch incident." With a slight grunt, Sam pulled out and laid next to her and scratched through his hair. His sharp teeth retracted in time to kiss her lips, before letting out a deep sigh. "Again, sorry about the last time...."

"That's okay...." sighed Ruby. "Seriously, though.... I've never thought that Dean would get a human to feed on. And you're okay with that, Sam?"

"It was.... awkward at first, it still is," he frowned a little. "But the guy, he's okay to be around with. Reads a lot, though...."

"Hmm, sounds boring," muttered Ruby and Sam frowned awkwardly.

"I read a lot, Ruby," he replied.

"Yeah, but that's you. You're a good bookworm for a pureblood vamp," she smiled at him. "Well, someone has to.... that brother of yours got an IQ of a clam. Why can't the others elected you as a state leader, Sam?"

".... It's not a secret, Ruby, you know that...." sighed Sam. "I'm considered.... 'unstable' in their opinions, the part of the reason they chose Dean over me is to have me monitored."

"And yet you're not being monitored right now, considering you've crossed the state line just for a simple booty call," his girlfriend joked before getting out of the bed. Sam merely hummed a dismissive sound and buried his face into the starchy pillow.

"Same goes for you.... You sure that Lilith doesn't mind of you leaving Maryland for this overnight trip of ours?" he mumbled.

"She knows I'm with you, that's my excuse...."

"Uh-huhh...."

"Well, if it was any other guy, she wouldn't let me leave her side," Ruby said. Sam lifted his head up just a little, hearing the sound of shower in the small bathroom. His hazel-green eyes glanced over to a chair nearby where he left his clothes. Staring at his jeans where he left his phone in his pocket, he wondered if he should call Dean. It was nearly dawn so his brother might be sleeping at the moment.

It felt a little odd to be this far apart from Dean even though he was only several dozen miles away from home. The last time he had been apart from his family.... was when he went to Stanford years ago, although his father was less than pleased about the separation. Not because of the co-dependent behaviors among the vampires, but because of his budding condition that had already caused the family trouble.

He knew then that Dean kept checking on him on a monthly basis-- on their father's orders, but there was no violent episodes for those few years.... Much like how he was 'sober' when living in Montana for the past two years. He had missed those days in the college life.... He had felt truly normal then, acting as a human and trying not to bring attention to himself.

The faculty didn't mind him wearing sunglasses in class and around campus, thinking he had vision problems, as he was a straight-A student with a high grade point average. Whenever Dean would come to visit, he would often get teased for 'staying up late' in daylight but deep down he knew his older brother was proud of his academic success. Someone had to, only Dean would come by and visit him while he often get phone calls and monetary gifts by Bobby.

But his father.... the first time he had spoken to him since going into college.... was when he had done the unimaginable and had to call Dean for help. That very first sin his older brother made himself take, when he was told without hesitation that Sam must die. The very same sin that started all of this....

".... Sam, you've been quiet, what're you thinking about?" Ruby asked when she got out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her petite body.

"Hmm... what was I thinking about?" mused Sam as he reclined on his back. "I guess random stuff.... mostly Dean. There's a good chance that he might be doing something stupid without me around."

"Like fucking his human donor or something?" Ruby smirked a little and the tall vampire made a slight face at that.

"Ew, I hope not," he sighed.

"Why? Because you get to take a sample out of him, right....?" she asked when she glanced at him. But she frowned a bit when Sam merely shook his head. "Wait, you don't....? Then what's the point of having him around if you don't--"

"I'm not interested of feeding off him, Ruby, that's all," sighed Sam.

"Why, because your brother won't let you?" she frowned.

"It's not that.... It feels awkward when the guy's just there to begin with," he shrugged. "It's rather different from me and Dean feeding on complete strangers in random towns."

"Well then, why not do it by yourself? You're a big boy, Sam, you can't always be watched like a messy child at the dinner table," Ruby clicked her tongue as she put on her clothes.

"Heh, that's good to know...." he scoffed softly.

"Hm, what's that....?"

".... Listen, Ruby, promise that you won't tell Dean or Lilith about this, okay? Of what I'm about to say," he muttered when he glanced at her and Ruby blinked in slight surprise.

"As if I'd say anything to that asshole," she frowned. "What do you have to say, Sam? Is it something bad....?"

"More or less.... I _did_.... feed on a guy a couple nights back.... without Dean knowing it," he sighed deeply. Blinking at that, Ruby sat next to him and stared at his slightly awkward expression.

"Huh.... Guess that explains that aggression a while ago. You even got me pretty deep," she shrugged, touching her shoulder that was already healed from his bite. "Maybe that, and the fact you're trying to make up for the last time we tried to hook up."

"Ruby.... I'm being serious here," he frowned a little. "This guy, he was drunk and was manhandling his girlfriend. I got pissed off-- mostly from not drinking enough blood, so I cornered him and.... well, I got a taste of the good stuff without Dean hovering over me."

"I see...." Ruby cuddled against his chest and smiled lightly. "It must've been fun to attack someone like that--"

"It wasn't fun, I nearly lost it and if Dean hadn't tried to call me, I would've...." frowned Sam before letting out a deep sigh. "A death of a human would've been known considering the population in Montana, if it was a vampire attack. And my brother would've been notified about it. I'm lucky if that guy's still alive over there, or else I'm in trouble. So let's drop it for now, okay...?"

"I could..... but you seemed to forget about the things you did before coming to Montana, huh?" sighed Ruby, lazily trailing her finger over his tattoo.

"I want to.... I wish to...."

".... You purebloods get to do anything and everything, including killing humans," she pointed out. "Lilith's no different than you, you'd be surprised about how many human workers she had to 'let go' because of their incompetence."

"No, Ruby, I've hurt and killed people, plenty of them didn't really deserve it," muttered Sam with a shake of his head. "You know.... I don't know why I mentioned it in the first place, Ruby. I knew it would bring up bad memories."

"How bad could it have been, Sammy....?" she murmured, ignoring his annoyed reaction to the nickname. "There have been a few times that we went out and snacked on those stupid humans--"

"And in those times, Dean was there to stop it before it would get worse," he frowned. Ruby scoffed, reaching up to twirl her fingers into his chestnut colored locks.

"I don't get why he blamed me for those times, when you've been doing this since forever," she said. "Is it because I'm from the lowest class of the vampires-- a kid of turned humans, not even an ounce of a pureblooded heritage?" Sam said nothing, his large hands trailed down to settle at her waist. ".... No, that's not it. I'm just a 'bad' influence on you, huh? You got that boy-next-door personality about you, while I was raised on the wrong side of the track. That's probably why Dean hates me so much...."

"Hate is a pretty strong word, Ruby, Dean simply dislikes you for being.... a subordinate for Lilith," he muttered. "After all, she was there when we were, you know.... Dean knew that she was in on our imprisonment, after all it was one of her underlings that taunted and tortured him."

"Right, I forgot, sorry about that...." Ruby nodded before glancing up at him. "But.... are you sure that's the true reason your brother dislikes me....? You remember when we last broke up, Sam?"

"Yeah, sure.... over a year before our capture...."

"But.... do you remember _why_ , right....?" she questioned, her other hand gripped at his own. Sam inhaled at that meaning, his jaw muscles tightened as he tried not to think about that bad memory and shook his head.

"Sun's already up.... I'm tired, I'm going to sleep...." he mumbled, as she shrugged her off. Ruby frowned at his dismissive tone but said nothing while Sam laid down with his back turned to her. But Sam wasn't really tired but he didn't wish to keep talking any more, as he closed his eyes.

"So.... we're not gonna discuss that one, huh....?" she muttered quietly.

"That very reason why we had broken up in the first place, Ruby...." Sam muttered.

"Great...." Ruby sighed as she got off the bed. "Well.... I'm going out for breakfast-- and I mean actual food. I'll be back in a while."

"...." Sam waited until he heard the door opening than closing, but he didn't move. He let out a deep huff.... For the past several years, there had been far more bad memories than good since his very first kill. Back then.... he had it all under control, drinking animal blood and coffee drinks as substitutes with little need for human blood when he was in college. He was happy to feel normal.... to be away from his authoritarian father.

To be able to be in love with.... a human. And that human girl.... was the reason why he had descended into madness.... All because she was murdered, the moment he was away from her. Sam opened one eye, staring at the ugly paisley-printed wallpaper, and sighed tiredly. Sometimes.... he wondered why he was still alive after what he had done.... only to be reminded that he got an idiot of an older brother to go home to. No doubt that the cabin would be in shambles in the manner of hours in his absence.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review.

I'll update ASAP!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah-hahh, I got ya there with that cliffhanger! Gee, I wonder what Ruby meant by that....!


	8. Rising Rage and Downward Sorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you had noticed recently, I've added and reworked on some of the tags as I'm thinking more of the plot of this story. It'll become full of intense drama and angst in the next few chapter so enjoy!

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 8- Rising Rage and Downward Sorrow**

With a deep inhale, Castiel woke up with the aching pain in his upper leg. He sucked in his breath and slowly moved to lay on his back, his weary eyes opened to stare at the wooden ceiling. It was then he realized that he was alone.... in Dean's room. The vampire was nowhere to be found, but his presence was obviously evident as he could smell his scent in the sheets. It had a slight salty musk to it, as if he didn't bother to wash it after weeks of sleeping in it. It was rather disgusting, to the priest's opinion.

After a moment, he glanced over to where the desk was. Because of the heavy curtains covering the windows, he couldn't really see his surroundings. With a painful wince, Castiel scooted for the lamp and put it on. He blinked by the light and looked at the desk again; the laptop was gone but the photographs was still there.

"...." He wondered what could be in those pictures, if it meant something to Dean for him to have it there. He glanced at the bedroom door. It was closed but the priest knew that he could be heard shifting about. As much as he was curious about the pictures, it seemed safer not to dwell into it. Seeing Dean's shifting mood like that last night was a lesson well learned, as he gingerly touched his bandaged leg.

He wanted to take a shower and go back to sleep, away from the events that had occurred hours ago. And maybe a new pair of pants now that Dean destroyed this one. He cautiously sat up, hearing the muffled sound of drizzling rain outside. But he didn't want to stay here any longer as he then moved to scoot off the bed.

"Ah.... Lord in Heaven, help me on this one...." winced Castiel, trying not to lean so much onto his right foot. But just as he was about to hobble for the door, the wooden barrier suddenly opened and Dean stepped right in. His casual appearance startled Castiel and he sat back onto the bed out of reflex, but Dean didn't seem to notice that as he cocked his head at the priest.

".... Let me guess, you gotta take a piss, huh?" he smirked lightly.

"I'd like to go the bathroom, yes.... and I'll go by myself, if you don't mind," frowned Castiel with a tired sigh.

"Oh, c'mon, Cas, I only came in to check on you," he sighed. "But you might need some help with going downstairs, though--"

"Sam gave me permission to read more of his literature in his office," the priest replied tersely as he stood up, trying to ignore the dull pain shooting in his thigh. "I prefer the silence than the rambling of the television, anyway.... the benefits of being a priest...." Dean sighed in annoyance but said nothing of it, before he stepped out of the room.

"Whatever, Cas...." he muttered dismissively. That tone of his made Castiel bristle a little. The vampire seemed to have completely forgotten what he had done, that he had virtually molested him when he fed on him. Even with Dean's irritation of his constant defiance, he believed that the vampire wanted it to happen to him, trying make his body react to the sinful nature. With a huff, he stumbled out of the room and moved for the bathroom.

He didn't expect to see a set of clean clothes waiting for him in there, although it didn't look newly purchased. In fact, it looked second hand, as he picked up a faded black T-shirt and instantly grimaced in surprise at the jaggedly printed name, _Judas Priest_. "It's like he wanted to test me...." he grumbled quietly.

All the while, Dean was sitting by the kitchen table, watching half-heartedly at some hentai anime on his laptop as he keenly listened Castiel's movements upstairs before hearing the shower being turned on. It was early afternoon, yet he was chugging on his third bottle of beer. He needed to since he was 'up' before he wanted to, because he was expecting his friend to arrive soon.

Benny was one of the few vampires he had befriended some years back, who didn't care much about his 'cursed' bloodline. Even as a mixblood, he was a few decades older than Dean, who didn't mind of his friend's unconventional way of trafficking blood bags. And he himself needed some at this moment now that he was awake at this hour, it was much too early to feed on people and he didn't want to hunt for animals in the rain. His ears suddenly perked up at the sound of the water turning off and then he heard some more movements.

He was about to get up, seeing if Castiel needed to re-wrap his leg, but he immediately heard a distant sound of a pickup truck rolling through the obscure dirt road. "Awesome...." Dean sighed, closing his laptop before going for the door. As he opened it, he grinned lightly when he saw the pretty worn-out vehicle attached with a small trailer came into view.

The air was wet and fresh with the rain, but he stepped out to greet his old friend who got out of the truck. "You came in pretty fast with that beat-up junk, huh?" he joked and the other vampire chuckled in spite of it.

"Well, you say it was an emergency, brother. But by the looks of things, you seemed pretty fine...." he grinned, his Cajun accent rolling out humorously as he turned to his friend. He appeared as a middle-aged man with a greying beard, with a newsboy cap and a worn-down jacket to protect himself from the cool rain. "Ain't it a bit early to be drinking, Dean....?" he asked, noticing the bottle in Dean's hand.

"Ehh, it's 6 p.m. somewhere in the world...." he shrugged before walking up to him. "Fuck.... it's been forever since we last talked, Benny," he sighed in content, as he gave him a strong one-arm hug.

"Well, you've been busy with this leader thing, brother," grinned Benny as he hugged back.

"Nah, I should've contacted you as soon as it happened--"

"Oh, I understood your situation with Sam and all...." he nodded and patted him on the back. "Speaking of which.... I don't believe he's here, no?"

"Well.... he's doing a little project on his own but he'll be back later tonight," said Dean, scratching through his now damp hair. "That was why I asked you to swing by with some of your own black market supplies. Sam doesn't really wanna go hunting on human lately, but the blood bank here is fucked up. So you're the only one I thought of calling, Benny, sorry about that."

"Whew, I thought only you could look after him while doing that, Dean," his friend remarked.

"Actually.... let's go inside, it's easier to explain it further," he nodded as they walked into the cabin. "You still wearing overalls, Benny? It makes you look like a country bumpkin, y'know, you're from the South after all," he noted after closing and locking the door.

"Ah, none of that now, brother.... Care to explain to me why you have a human around here?" muttered Benny, his salt-and-pepper whiskers bristled as he frowned at him in surprise. Dean knew that he could smell and hear Castiel's presence, and let out a heavy sigh. "Something tells me that you're in trouble, no? That doesn't really surprise me.... Trouble always follows you like a shadow."

"Yeah, and this one's a much bigger shadow, and a pain in the ass to boot," he scoffed with a sip of his beer. "Okay, Benny, I honestly trust you on this secret, okay? Only me and Sammy know about this, and we could get our asses kicked if the other purebloods were to find out."

"Damn.... Dean Winchester, if it's really that bad, then you should bury your head in the sand and wait for Armageddon," Benny whistled in disbelief as he shook his head.

"Yeah, I already get that shit from Sam...."

"So then.... who's your guest, then?" he asked.

".... A couple of weeks back, I sorta, kinda.... kidnapped this human," he muttered with a light frown, finishing up his beer. "I found his scent alluring so I wanted to drink his blood. But when I tried to compel him.... nothing happened," he clicked his tongue, "the hypnosis didn't even sink in on the guy."

"Hmm, that is something," Benny sighed in surprise. "But to kidnap him, I don't really get that part, brother."

"Well, he saw my face so I couldn't risk it, Benny. I fucking freaked out on that part," sighed Dean. "And that's not even the worse part of it. This guy, he's, um.... he happens to be a priest."

".... A priest," Benny repeated the term, his light blue eyes crinkled.

"As in, a Catholic priest-- the whole nine yards of holiness and all that shit," he frowned. "And now, he's upstairs reading-- I dunno, some fairy tales my brother got in his office. Seriously, Benny.... I messed up big time, dropped the ball and everything and I dunno what to do with him."

"Well, that depends..... You fed on him, didn't you?" he questioned him with a serious tone in his accented voice. "I'm no fool, brother.... I'm old enough to be your grandaddy, I can tell you have done it recently now." Dean met his eyes and nodded, though he wasn't feeling like he was being scolded by his friend. "I see.... is that why you needed the bags from me, Dean?"

"Yes and no.... Sammy's teetering on the edge and I can't accompany him when stalking on other humans when someone has to look after this guy," he sighed.

"Make sense," nodded Benny as he put up a small smile, patting his shoulder. "Damn near ripped my right arm off when that sibling of yours was off that edge a while back. Good times...."

"Yeah, he was really sorry about that, I should remind him," Dean smirked a little. "So.... this is our secret about the priest upstairs, okay? Pinky swear, Benny?"

"Heheheh.... I wouldn't tell anyone if it's the pope himself you got hostage up there, brother, your secret's safe with me," he grinned. "But, because of that, you're gonna have to pay me double for the blood."

"Tch, well you're the 'black' black market dealer so I should've expected that," he scoffed in amusement. "And speaking of grandkids, how's Elizabeth doing? You still helping her out at the diner back home?"

"Oh, Don't go there, Dean.... You may be a pedigree, but I'll nick off your family jewels if you dare to flirt with her now," he said rather sternly with his narrowed eyes at him.

"Hey, I know my limits. At least, most of times, but with you-- yeah, stay behind the line," Dean chuckled a bit nervously. "So, about the blood.... don't tell me you got AB positive. It's like the only flavor you got from what I remembered," he said, as they went back outside.

"No, brother, I got other varieties. You don't mind O negative or B positive, right?"

"Doesn't exactly manner, I'm just gonna piss it out in the end...."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Barely paying attention to the drizzle, Sam walked down the highway. He was aware of his surrounding, keeping a peripheral view of the road while trailing down the edge of the forest. It was dusk and several cars drove by him; a couple of vehicles slowed down to offer him a ride but he politely declined. There was no reason to hitchhike, as he was about two miles away from home.

Last night felt like a disaster, he thought.... He had enjoyed being with Ruby but being reminded about her influence on him was often irritating and hard to ignore, and then she had to mention the reason why they had broken up in the first place. Letting out a deep huff, Sam picked up his pace slightly. No doubt that Dean would question him the instant he gets home. Before their break-up a few years back, the tall vampire would go after any human alongside his girlfriend, foolishly thinking that he didn't need his brother to hover over him.

But Dean would blow his top every time he fed on the victims back then, about him drinking too much human blood would do more harm than good. It was one of the reasons why they had to skip towns much sooner than they wanted to, and the mixblood girl would spitefully follow. This had happened long before Ruby began working for Lilith, Sam knew that. And like Ruby, he would deliberately go behind Dean's back to be with her, for bloodlust or actual lust or somewhere in between.

He wasn't exactly sure why he felt like being with her.... Maybe it was because she was the first vampire he had been serious with, after brief failed flings with human girls before he had come across that petite snarky blonde-- He had forgotten that Ruby used to be a blonde, that's how long ago it was.

The dusky sky darkened as Sam reached the familiar obscure road, his mind wandering of how they met exactly. Dean had decided to cozy up with some random girl at the bar and he went back to the bummy hotel they were staying at, only to find this unknown mixblood meandering near the brothers' room. Suspicious-- also a tad paranoid considering any vamp they would see might be working for a pureblood, he had questioned her presence, only to find out that she was simply the lowest caste of mixbloods who had been hopping around towns as well.

But Dean, being a protective big brother, didn't trust her from the start once Sam began to have a relationship with her. Normally, other vampires would be wary of being around the Winchester brothers since their bloodline was 'cursed', but for a direct descendant of turned humans willingly to be with someone like Sam sounded rather shady.

Sighing, the tall vampire finally reached the cabin once it came of view and almost immediately, he saw the door opening. He barely had time to blink when Dean was right in front of him, the older vampire observed his face with his glowing eyes as he let out a subtle growl. ".... You've fed yet?" he questioned.

"Not yet, Dean," muttered Sam.

".... Are you sure, Sammy? Is there something you're not telling me, if Ruby had tried to convince you to do something stupid--"

"She didn't, okay? That train ride has been gone for a long time, Dean, I know better," he frowned at him. But Dean narrowed his eyes slightly, as if he was trying to see otherwise. After a few seconds of staring, he backed off with a sigh and walked back into the cabin.

"So you say...."

"I'm speaking the truth, you know," frowned Sam.

"Yeah, but I just don't like her, that's my truth," grumbled Dean as he walked to the kitchen with his little brother following after him. "Here.... I got about six bags. I had eight but I got a little hungry waiting for Benny and chugged on the first two," he nodded when he opened the fridge.

"Benny? Oh, right.... I hadn't seen him since that.... incident over at Prentis Island," Sam sighed deeply. "Knowing him, he might have laughed that off-- thanks...." he muttered when Dean gave him the chilled transfusion bag.

"Ah well, you two can talk it out the next time," he nodded before frowning. "As a matter of fact.... I needed to talk to someone, Cas has been holed up in your office all day and not saying a word to me, Sam."

"And you expected it to be better after last night, Dean?"

"At least a simple 'thank you' for giving him some spare clothes and that half-eaten turkey sandwich, it wouldn't hurt so bad to do that," scoffed Dean and Sam scoffed in return.

"Yeah, like I would say 'thank you' to the guy with piranha fangs sucking on me," he muttered, taking off his jacket. "And half-eaten? That sandwich was a footlong when I bought it for him."

".... It tasted like shit, anyway, it's practically a salad stuffed inside bread," grumbled the older vampire. "Whatever, it's just getting ridiculous.... I'd think he would be more scared with each time I drink his blood. But he's mouthing off, as usual, and I find it annoying."

"What did you expect, Dean....? We're 'spawns of Satan' in his eyes since he's a priest," Sam frowned at him, dropping himself into a chair as he tentatively took the first sip of the blood. It tasted cold and bland but it was better than that drunk man's own blood. Much better. "With him mouthing off, he has a reason to because of you being--"

"Of me being what?"

"You know what, Dean...." huffed Sam as he glanced at him. "I can't believe this... This damn argument keeps going around in circles. Is it truly that hard that you cannot even apologize?"

"It's not that--" Dean scoffed.

"When will you do it.... when I go off and feed on him when you're not around?" he questioned, his hazel-green eyes glowed instantly when his brother's green-gold ones glared down at him. "Don't worry, Dean.... Cas trusts me enough, I wouldn't let him see me as the true monster that I really am...." he muttered stiffly as he got up.

"W-wait, Sammy...." frowned Dean when his brother moved for upstairs. "Don't--"

"'Don't say it like that'.... I've heard it so many times, it's probably in the thousands or tens of thousands by now," muttered Sam and glanced at him with worry. "You worry so much about me that you're barely acting like a sensible person. I'm still your baby brother that needs to be protected from bullies growing up while anybody and everybody else is beneath you in your eyes because of what we are.... That kind of attitude makes you no different than the others, Dean."

".... I'm not like them, I wouldn't torture my own brother just for kicks," Dean muttered with a tight frown.

"No, Dean, it's more than that.... I was practically a serial killer after everything I had done," Sam shook his head, his voice soft but tinted with remorse. "We-- no, _I_ was close to exposing our world to the humans. About how the attacks and the deaths couldn't have been from wild animals with the way I was tearing them apart.... And you.... you couldn't stop me half the time, either I was too strong or you were simply too afraid of me."

".... I was never afraid of you, Sammy--"

"No, but a couple of times of me hurling you through solid walls, I wonder sometimes...." Sam frowned sadly. "Please, Dean.... just think things through here. Cas is here because of you, his body's being bitten up because of you, he is miserable because of you. Do you see the factor in this....? You got a conscience, so figure it out, okay?"

".... All right, Jiminey Cricket, I will," muttered Dean. But his tone sounded slightly peeved at the repeated request. "In the meantime, see if you can get a word outta that stick in the mud. Aside from hiding out in your office, he hobbled for the bathroom to piss but nothing else. He doesn't even spare a glance at me when I checked up on him."

"Fine.... It doesn't matter, I need to go work in my office anyway," sighed Sam as he walked up the stairs. He took another sip of the blood and grimaced a bit. He sounded like a hypocrite for making his brother owning up to his mistakes, when he himself couldn't admit that he had secretly fed on a human a couple of nights back. "Um.... Castiel, you're in there, right....?" he muttered, knocking on the slightly opened door at the end of the hallway.

".... Y-yes, I am...." Castiel answered quietly. Sam pushed the door open and stepped in, immediately noticing a small stack of random paperbacks on the desk. Apparently, the priest was more curious of other literature as he was skimming through one book before Castiel glanced up out of reflex.

"Oh.... my apologies, you had these organized and I was just looking through them--" he explained.

"No, it's okay, I forgot I even have some of these around," he smiled slightly. "Did you find anything you like, Castiel....?"

"Not particularly...." Castiel muttered with a slight frown as he held up the book he was holding, the cover picture portrayed a brooding figure reclining by candlelight. "A vampire collecting novels about vampires.... it sounds like a rather peculiar joke, if you ask me."

"Ah, well.... I'm a very peculiar guy after all," he nodded. "To be honest, us vamps find it kind of amusing about the books and stories based on us even though the majority of the materials are wrong."

"Like how....?" he asked and Sam blinked at him. "Oh, right.... I cannot know much about your kind, I suppose," he realized.

"Hm, it's not that.... On one hand, the humans are always fascinated by the fictional lives of vampires, finding them alluring and mysterious," sighed Sam. "But would they truly be okay with the fact that we're walking among them? That we're not like the ones in the books and the movies? You know, less brooding and beautiful and more.... rowdy and blue collar-ish.

"That would be the least of the public's worry, I believe...." frowned Castiel.

"True.... You humans believe yourself as a superior sort, and if they were to know that there's a higher class of species than them, no doubt that they'd be hostile about it and even dare to kill us off if given the chance," Sam pointed out. "Makes sense that they would be, since we consume human blood most of the times," he added, taking a few more sips from the transfusion bag.

Blinking at that, Castiel wasn't sure what to say about what he meant. His god had created the First Man and Woman before the rest of other living creatures, according to the bible. But humans believing themselves as superior was true, yet that was their flaws, hence why the seven deadly sins were created in the first place. But he didn't see himself as such; he was a priest who would rather be humble in his lifestyle.

Breathing deeply, Sam noticed the bandaged thigh, the gauze peeking just out of the baggy gym shorts. ".... Are you feeling okay, Castiel? From what I can tell, my asshole of a brother had done a number on you," he muttered.

".... I am fine, but...." the priest spoke but hesitated, not wanting to cause conflict between the brothers about what Dean had done to him last night. Of him being touched inappropriately and his body reacting to wrongful lust. "Your brother.... he mentioned.... that I should give up hoping that I would be found, that the chances of me getting out of this dwindles by the day."

"Tch...." Closing the office door, Sam leaned against it as he rubbed his eyes with annoyance. "Shit, Dean.... I doubt he meant that, he probably only said it just to scare you as a vampire that he is," he frowned.

"But it's true, isn't it....? Weeks can go into months.... people have to move on and cannot constantly be concerned about the possibilities of me being still alive," mumbled Castiel, his hand rubbing over his sore thigh.

"That's not true, Castiel," Sam sighed with concern. "There are some people who hadn't given up looking for their loved ones. Hell, I've heard stories about kids being abducted and missing and twenty years later they came out alive. There's no need to be pessimistic about it."

"But I'm not a child.... and I don't have loved ones waiting for me back home," he muttered grimly as he glanced at him.

"Huh? No one....?" Sam blinked in surprise. "Not even your parents, Castiel?"

".... My father had died early in my life, my mother passed on as well while I was in college," he frowned. "I'm an only child with no other known relatives.... And with me as a priest.... I'm still a beginner, barely five years of wearing the Cloth in a small church. I'm not sounding pessimistic, but realistically speaking.... I don't seem like I'd be most likely to be found, Sam. I'm sorry about that."

".... You're a priest, for crying out loud," muttered Sam with a deep sigh. "I'd thought you would be more hopeful of leaving here."

"And I am.... just not in the way I wish it to be," nodded Castiel, he had long forgotten the page he was on as he placed the book onto the desk.

"Is it because of Dean? I can talk to him and--"

"That is not neccessary.... I'll be fine," he said quietly, wincing as he stood up. "You wish to you have your office back, right?"

"Um, no, you know what? I could go to my bedroom to work," Sam shook his head. "I think I'd be more comfortable on my bed than on a hard chair. Don't worry about it, Castiel, okay?"

"Right.... There's a good chance that your brother's listening to this conversation, correct?" muttered Castiel, and the tall vampire nodded.

"I honestly doubt that he will be nicer after this," Sam huffed. "He might act more like a dick but that's just it. He and I both can be equally stubborn, but he'll cave soon, I know him like that."

"All right then...."

"Okay then. Excuse me...." He picked up his laptop from the desk and moved to open the door. "Are you okay here by yourself, Castiel?"

"Of course," nodded Castiel, sitting back down. He felt tired, mostly for the borderline sense of anemia. He had taken the vitamins but sleep was hanging over him. Yet he didn't want to come across Dean, not now. It was hard to even glance at him earlier today without the thought of that vampire groping him, barely saying a word even when given food.

But, like before, he dreaded the next he had to go to him, of being bitten somewhere else on his body behind closed door. He glanced up to see Sam about to leave the office, his breath hitched up as if wanting to tell him what Dean had done to him. His sound of hesitation caught Sam's attention immediately, and the vampire raised his eyebrow out of curiosity.

".... Is there.... something else you want, Castiel?" he asked.

"I, um.... sorry, it's not of import," he sighed tiredly, shaking his head. "I don't mean to trouble you...."

"Uh.... Listen...." Sam muttered, stepping up to him. "Whenever Dean's not around, you can tell me anything, anything at all. He won't do anything about it, okay....?"

"But you're his brother, wouldn't he find out and get mad?"

".... He certainly wouldn't get mad at _me_ , Castiel," he replied quietly. "And he wouldn't risk causing any more trouble, either.... I'm not the type to roll over and beg for mercy." He stepped back and turned back to the now opened door. Dean.... he wasn't in the cabin anymore, from what he could hear. Very keenly, Sam could hear his older brother in the small garage, tinkering the Impala with some random rock music rambling on. No doubt that Dean heard enough and stepped out to avoid the problem. Typical.

".... If you want, I could go and check out your hometown tomorrow." he suggested, catching the priest's attention. "I'll go over the online news again tonight, if there is any update. If not, then I might go over there to find out more. Is that all right with you, Castiel....?"

".... Of course, if you wish to do it," Castiel nodded.

"Yeah, you're welcome," Sam smiled a little, before stepping out of the office. But when he stepped into his bedroom and shut the door, he suddenly let out a growl-like sigh and moved for his bed. Sitting down, he greedily gulped down the rest of the transfusion bag, the taste of it was dull but human blood felt so good going down his throat. "Hahh....! F-fuck....!" he breathed deeply, tongue licking his lips clean to savor the after-effects of the nourishment coursing throughout his body almost instantly.

His eyes glowed in the dark room, his sharp teeth aching to protrude. How much blood had he drunk from that man....? It had to be more than enough if he was now craving for more, as he hunched over his knees. ".... No.... get back, get back...." he growled lowly under his breath. He should have drunk some animal blood beforehand, that often helped hampering his other side from coming out. He could ask Dean for his blood, but then his brother would figure out what he had done and he would be reprimanded for it.

No, he needed to learn how to control it for himself.... But that was always so hard to do so. He had attempted it plenty of times, and his rage would come out worse than before, always resulting in him coming to with his hands wrapped tightly around Dean's throat.

Sam took long deep breaths, mentally counting backwards from fifty as he rubbed over his eyes and forehead. He doesn't need any more for this week, he promised himself. He had enough human blood; he could last at least a couple of weeks without consuming more of it. Dean didn't seem to hear of his distressed growls, as he could hear the music still playing out there. "I'm good.... I'm a good guy, like Dean says...." he gritted.

_"No, you're not...."_

"Shit...." growled Sam, his fingers digging through his hair. He didn't want that side to come out; the very mirrored image of himself smirking in dark glee at the thought of torturing humans. The rage was only the result of his darker side being held back for too long, but his own emotions can amplify the rage to come out sooner regardless that he had enough blood. There was no end to it, no matter how one would look at it.

_"You need to follow your true instincts.... You must consume more human blood, that's your vampiric nature...."_

"Please.... just go away," he murmured. "I'm not like that, I cannot be like that," he repeated, closing his eyes shut.

_"You enjoyed putting the fear in that human, didn't you....? That was so much fun.... you need to do that again--"_

"Shut up....!" he hissed as he abruptly stood up. The euphoric feeling of drinking blood was gone now, as his anger was slowly seeping out. It cannot come out. Castiel was practically feet away.... He could smell his blood, even when bandaged. Just another human to feed on, just like when he would go after anyone during his risky relationship with Ruby.

_"It's right there, it's yours for the taking.... That human won't be missed much...."_

Inhaling sharply, Sam shook his head as if to make the other voice go away. He was an idiot thinking he had it under control but these episodes were cutting it close lately. He didn't blame the priest's presence, as this actually had been going on long before he came along. Dean knew of it then, but now....

"Shit....!" he gritted. Forgetting his laptop, he rushed out of his room and ran downstairs for the door in the matter of seconds. He calmed himself long enough to open it and stepped out, vaguely aware of the dimmed lighting coming from the garage.

But Dean instantly noticed him from afar when he glanced up from working on the car engine and frowned in surprise. "Sammy.... what're you doing?" he asked as he walked up to him.

".... I think.... it's a good idea that I swing by Cas' town for the night, Dean...." breathed Sam, scrubbing a hand over his face.

"Wait, now....? You just came back barely an hour ago," he frowned.

"Yeah, well, it's not like you're going anywhere yourself," he muttered. "It'll be okay, Dean.... I'll be back before dawn, since it's still early...." His eyes glowed intensely out of hunger but Dean didn't seem to notice it, as the older vampire reluctantly nodded at his decision.

"Better you than me, then...." he grumbled, wiping the smudge of oil from his cheek. "It's not like Cas is gonna bolt off right outta the cabin while I'm tuning up my baby."

"Hm, I can see that," he snorted.

"Shut it, bitch...."

"Whatever. I should've done this a while back anyway...." frowned Sam, walking past his brother. "I'll be back, okay, Dean....?"

"Yeah, whatever...." sighed Dean as he glanced at him. With one blink, Sam was gone, as he then glanced back at the opened door. Even from yards away, he could smell Castiel's unique scent. He didn't want to think much of the silent treatment he was getting from the priest, instead he closed the door and went back to the garage. But he didn't go back to his car. Instead, he turned to his laptop that was resting on the tool drawer and opened it.

Sam may be genius compared to him, but he was just as smart when needed to be, as he typed in various codes. A couple of windows popped up, before a satellite map image came into view. Dean's eyes narrowed slightly at the red dot whizzing across the digital topography, and sighed deeply. So Sam was going to the right direction this time....

He took out his phone and dialed up a number, and he was answered immediately. ".... Yeah, he left just now.... don't pursue him, leave him to his own shit," he muttered evenly. "I don't think he'll go and hunt on another human.... I already knew he was acting a little off.... I'll deal with him myself when he gets back, before the other purebloods know of this...."

Dean hung up his cellphone and let out a deep disappointing growl. He wanted to throw a wrench or something, but he then took a deep breath as he paced around. He wasn't a fool.... Looking after his little brother for most of his life, he knew every single sign of Sam's condition once it came out. Even minutes ago, he saw the hunger in his glowing eyes and he knew what it was. Going back to his laptop, he clicked onto a news website and quickly found what he was looking for.

A man hospitalized after being found in the woods nearly twenty miles north of here. This person was half dead with pneumonia from the rain, but he was found with a vicious bite mark across his throat like an animal attack. It was much too obvious, not even his followers would feed like that....

"Son of a bitch...." he growled under his breath with his fangs coming out. He should have confronted him about it earlier, of what he had to find out today from his followers after Benny had left. "Fucking shit...." Knowing Sam, the younger vampire will placate his urge for more human blood with animal blood, and by the looks of it, he might have to choke down on a deer if needed to.

Dean went back to his car as he picked up the wrench. Maybe he should chuck the tool, and he did, hurling it right out of the garage. He heard it hitting against a random tree, practically embedded into the trunk. He scoffed, as much as he was angry about Sam's slipping back to his darker side, he was far more worried about this news leaking back to the headquarters.

There were so many clauses in the deal he was forced to take, and one of them was that Sam wouldn't harm or kill any human on his own to consume blood. He had hated it, and he hated his kind for cornering him and his brother for this. "Fucking.... damn it, Sammy...." he growled. "Fuck...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Castiel couldn't remember how exactly he fell asleep but he did, his face partially buried in his folded arms on the office desk. Even on a hard chair, he felt comfortable sleeping like this, as if he hadn't slept for the longest time. But he had been resting a lot since Dean had been drinking his blood, up to twelve hours at the most. But he was out for the moment, although he wasn't having much dreams. He was used to it since childhood, about dreaming about nothing at all and the very few dreams that he had were fragmented and forgettable.

He wasn't sure exactly why he doesn't dream, but he didn't have a problem with it. It was like a nice silence to be in. The last time he had dreamt, however, was when he had that scattered up nightmare of Dean attacking him for the first time. But for nearly two weeks.... nothing.

Castiel breathed deeply as he subconsciously shifted his head to the other side. But as he done it, a distant sound of door opening and closing was heard. His eyebrows furrowed in his sleep.... was he dreaming this time?

No, this wasn't right.... He could hear Dean muttering, it sounded quiet yet tensed before Sam muttered something to him. ".... Is there something wrong, Dean...? Don't tell me Cas is still ignoring you--"

"It's not that, Sam...." came Dean's voice, his tone barely a rumble for the subconscious priest to hear. "There's something I wanna show you.... I want you to take a look...."

"Wha.... Oh, no.... Dean, wait--"

"Look, Sam.... and explain this to me...." The seemingly panicked voice of Sam caught Castiel off-guard, as his consciousness struggled to nudge him awake. Something didn't feel right about this....

".... Dean--"

"Two years, Sammy...." Dean's voice edging on anger and disappointment, pretty much growling with the way he was addressing his brother. "Two _fucking_ years.... you tried your best not let it happen, that you only took out your anger within the forest. But this.... I had to find out from our followers about what you had done...."

"I-I get that, Dean, but--"

"But what, Sam....?! That you couldn't tell me-- your own brother-- that you nearly killed a guy for a sip of blood?!"

Castiel's eyes instantly opened by the sudden shouting and frowned in initial confusion. So it wasn't a dream....

"I didn't want to do that, Dean....! I was just feeling irritated then and this guy was acting rough on his girlfriend--"

"I don't fucking care, Sam! You know better than to do it, yet you think that I wouldn't catch wind of this!" snarled Dean. Though unsure and still confused, Castiel was fully awake as he slowly sat up. This argument was far more different the ones before, and it sounded so loud. And it was no wonder.... the office door was left wide opened, as he glanced over his shoulder. "I'm not fucking stupid! I had a feeling that you had done something, because I knew immediately when you didn't answer your phone that night....!"

".... You're right, Dean, I should've told you about what I've done," Sam reasoned, almost sounding afraid of his brother's ire. That didn't make any sense to Castiel, when earlier Sam assured him that Dean wouldn't be mad about his actions. "I panicked when you called me, that's how I stopped--"

"It doesn't fucking matter, Sammy....!" Dean growled. "It doesn't matter if he was alive or dead! If the other fuckers would've known about this, they'd take you away and the deal's off! Is that what you want?!

"No, but-- how is this any worse than what you had done, Dean?"

"Don't turn this on me, at least Cas' still breathing because he fucking trusts you, remember?"

What.... what were they saying....? How does him being alive had to do with this argument? Very carefully, he stood up, ignoring the dull pain in his thigh. Whatever they were arguing about, it was intense enough for the brother to not notice even the minute sound of him stepping out of the office.

"I don't get it, Dean....! You're more worried about me getting in trouble than you yourself!" scowled Sam, his tone shifting into anger now. "I understand that you wanted to protect me, but this is what I was talking about! You don't give a shit about your own actions, yet you still see me as if I can do no wrong.... trying to erase my mistakes even though I'm the one who had caused suffering for those people....!"

"Believe me, Sam, having Cas here is little compared to the one thing you had done this past week!" growled Dean. "You're lucky that the other guys here were able to cover up that news soon after they told me, before the shit reached to the other purebloods....!"

"They wouldn't have known that it was me anyway--"

"Nobody else ripped that human's neck as you do, idiot!" he snarled, apparently not hearing the priest upstairs inching closer and closer to the staircase. "That's practically your trademark! But you're fucking lucky.... Only the guys here in this state are willing to keep it a secret, so no one else will know about this, okay?"

Silence quickly followed, and Castiel paused in his movements, hearing only tensed breathing between the two. But he shuddered when he then heard a low animalistic growl. ".... Dean--"

"You told Ruby, didn't you....? Her.... over your own fucking blood?" Dean growled out, his angered voice heightened with surprise.

"It's not like that--" The priest flinched in shock when he suddenly heard a loud crash. It sounded like some of the furniture were getting smashed, as sounds of snarls and growls reverberated downstairs. What was going on....?

"I can't fucking believe you....! That bitch over your own _fucking_ brother....?!" Dean snarled furiously as more crashing sounds were heard.

"It's not like that! She can be trusted, she won't tell anyone!" growled Sam, his angered voice coming out defensive.

"She fucking works for Lilith! She will tell that to her!"

"She won't, okay?! It wasn't that important to her when I told her--"

"Hah! That's probably why you didn't bother to tell me! And when will you, when the human population here start dropping like flies?!" the older vampire yelled. That made Castiel's heart jolted in shock, as he held his breath to not gasp out. Sam, the same vampire who had been helpful and kind around him.... He had harmed and.... killed people....? "Goddamn it! God-fucking-damn it, Sam....!" Dean scoffed in disbelief. "You told Ruby before me.... It's like you don't fucking trust me!"

"Because I knew that you would act like this, Dean!" argued Sam.

"And I have every right to! They will take you back and torture you there until you're a fucking drooling vegetable, I don't want that to happen to you!" he growled angrily. "And fucking Ruby-- just because she's the only vamp you banged, you think she can be trusted!"

"She _can_ be trusted--"

"That's what you said the last time you two were together! And even then, you kept choosing her over the one who kept your condition in check!" scoffed Dean. "You kept running away from my watch, I wasn't sure if news of a dead body found would pop up in the papers the next day! And you were _that_ close of leaving me for good with that false alarm she had pulled off just to control you--"

"She was sorry about that, Dean! God.... are you still holding onto that grudge over that?! Are you for real?!" questioned Sam, now sounding hurt by his brother's accusation.

".... I told you, Sammy.... If that had actually happened, I would've tracked both of you down and sent it away to someplace safe, so it wouldn't know what kinda fucked up parents it would have...." Dean growled lowly, and Sam let out a scornful snort.

"Talking about trust.... you make it sound like I'm truly a monster," scoffed the tall vampire.

"With the path you were going then, I didn't wanna take that chance...."

".... I'm sorry, Dean.... I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, okay? But at least I know now that you really blamed me for my actions," Sam scoffed hurtfully. "You said that you will take in every sin I committed but deep down you're just as bad as Dad with the way he had treated me...."

"Don't you dare fucking compare me to him, at least I want you alive--"

"Yeah, but sometimes I wonder _why_ I even am alive...." he growled. It was silence again, but Castiel was shell-shocked, his body pressed against the wall as he was afraid to even make a sound. This was too much to take in.... So this was what Dean had warned him all along.... that Sam was harboring those deep dark secrets that made him seemingly more dangerous than the older brother.

He just couldn't believe it.... In the short amount of time of being around Sam, he only sensed the goodness out of him. But.... was it all a facade all this time....? That he really was a monster? Soft footsteps instantly caught his attention and he looked up out of reflex, and saw Sam standing at the top landing, appearing absolutely dumbstruck at the sight of him.

"...." The tall vampire's glowing eyes widened with total shock, while the priest barely breathed out of fear. Fear now, because of what he had just heard. There was a deep dread in his stomach that he wasn't supposed to know of this, that he was afraid of the consequences from Sam.

But.... Sam didn't appear angry at all. In fact.... he appeared hurt that he heard the argument, as a grief-stricken frown formed on his face and he glanced away. It was if he was that afraid and ashamed of someone else knowing about his dark side, and that someone was Castiel who shuddered a bit. Eventually, he walked for his bedroom, not wanting to see the priest's apprehension as he moved past him. He grasped at the doorknob but paused, letting out a deep sorrowful sigh.

"I'm so sorry.... You have every right to hate me now...." he muttered quietly. Castiel couldn't respond to it, he wasn't sure how, as Sam stepped into his room and closed the door. He couldn't move at all, anyway. The air was still heavy with tension that he felt suffocated. And it also felt like something was creeping right behind him, as he hesitantly looked over his shoulder.

Dean was standing right on the top landing. His glowing green-gold eyes were downright livid as he let out a deep growl. He was far more angry than Castiel had ever seen him before, as his blue eyes widened in fear. ".... How much have you heard....?" he growled lowly.

"....." Again, Castiel couldn't respond, his voice caught in his throat as he tried to breathe. Narrowing his eyes, Dean silently walked up to the human. His fanged teeth bared as he grabbed at the front of the shirt, making him stumble. "Ah--"

He didn't realize that he was suddenly lifted up and thrown through the air. A gush of breath was forced out of his lungs when he was slammed onto a firm yet cushioned surface. He was on the couch, he immediately realized, but the furniture was toppled to its back from the fight earlier. Dean had him pinned down, huffing deeply as his hand moved to grasp around his neck as the glowing eyes pierced at the priest's.

But he hadn't said a word, hearing only the rapid fear-filled heartbeats as he growled lowly. Castiel froze under his hold, he could feel warm tears pricking his eyes as he let out a quivering gasp. "Puh.... p-please...." he pleaded weakly, his voice barely audible.

"...." The glow in Dean's eyes soon died away, before he let go of him and got up. But the anger was still there in his tensed expression, not bothering to look back at the stunned priest as he turned and walked up the stairs. Only the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut did Castiel able to gulp in air. He couldn't believe it.... those brothers, they were truly fearsome, especially Sam. He didn't wish to believe it but it explained why the younger vampire forced himself to drink animal blood.

"L-Lord, please...." he whispered but stopped, breathing deeply as he sniffled. He couldn't even pray out loud, fearing that Dean would come right back. He closed his eyes shut and clutched at his chest, he couldn't calm down even after minutes of being left alone.

To hear Sam being the real monster.... of the past sins he had caused. Even the thought of fathering a child had disturbed even Dean if his true personality was that horrific. Castiel wasn't sure what to think anymore.... He wasn't told lies about it, but Dean had warned him about Sam and to hear all those things were overwhelming to take in.

He wanted to keep on trusting Sam, but it was true. He had sinned greatly.... he had murdered people, and the priest wasn't sure if he had meant to or not. Yet Sam was remorseful of his past from what he had seen. If vampires could repent, Castiel would believe so. But there was nothing he could, as he eventually calmed down with sleep hanging over him. It will be just another empty dream.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

By the time Castiel woke up, he was vaguely aware that the couch he was in was the correct upright position. When and how did that happen, he didn't care for the moment as he just laid there, his tired eyes blinking in the dark living room. It was all coming back to him.... about finding out Sam's true nature, and the horrible things he had done in the past.

He had thought Sam had better morality than Dean but he understood why he didn't need to know at first. In fact.... he remembered Dean telling him that he himself had never killed any humans to drink blood. Was it because he felt guilt about his younger brother's crimes? From the argument, it sounded that way when he had heard that Dean took in his sins. But what did that mean...?

Castiel slowly sat up, not hearing anything from upstairs as he looked around. But suddenly, something caught his eyes on the coffee table. It was a couple of hand-written notes, he could tell as he picked it up. He then stood up and ambled for the covered window. Pulling back the curtains, he blinked at the sudden golden glow of sunlight seeping in before glancing down at the notes.

_"The police mentioned that the missing case on you is still open. There hasn't been much lead on it since the incident. They even used search dogs for a while but they lucked out due to constant rain, and plenty of people were worried about whether or not you're still alive from being gone so long. Sorry to give you the bad news."_

Right, he remembered now.... Sam went out to check his hometown for the update of his disappearance. So it was still bad over there, then. His patrons were concerned for him, maybe it was because he was still young since the visitors there were mostly families and the elderly. He sighed, noticing the second note as he flipped to the other paper.

_"If you don't wish to talk to me after what you had heard last night, I understand. I'll keep giving you food and other things, though. That is what I really want to be, a good person, not my other side."_

"...." So that was it. Of course Sam would feel guilty about his violent past, probably beating himself up about it for so long and hiding it with a kind helpful persona. Maybe.... that was why Dean was angry at him for feeding on a human on his own, because he was scared of that personality to come out somehow. But just feeling guilty wasn't enough.... As a priest, Castiel was willing to listen to what he has to say, but he can't help him if Sam doesn't wish to talk about it. Not that he could.... there was no way erase something as gruesome as murder.

Putting the notes back on the coffee table, Castiel walked with a slight pain still throbbing in his thigh for the kitchen. From what he could see, there was a good dent right in the fridge door. He wondered how serious the fight between the brothers was but he dismissed for the moment when he suddenly heard muffled movements upstairs. A door was opened, a very brief silence fell before he saw Sam walking downstairs.

The tall vampire didn't acknowledge his presence, his expression filled with self-pity and remorsefulness as he walked for the door. "Uh...." Castiel wanted to speak out, but the immediate thought of his true side popped up in his head and he hesitated. Sam didn't even sense his faltering, as he simply unlocked the door and stepped out. It was like he deserved the priest's judging stare on him.

"W-wait--" muttered Castiel but the door was already shut. He didn't like this feeling, he wanted to know why Sam had to live with the guilt of his sins. He walked up to the door and opened it, but the vampire was gone, nowhere to be found when he looked out. He blinked in surprise, however, at the surrounding scenery.

Walls of various trees and bushes encircled the area, with the setting sun shuttered behind the thick branches. He gulped, there was no way he could even find his way around here, let alone to find Sam as he stepped back to close the door.

But he barely had a chance to do it, when it was suddenly slammed shut. He flinched out of reflex and turned around, his widened eyes saw Dean who locked the bolts. The older vampire didn't acknowledge him as well, though he was sporting a tight grim frown when he turned for the kitchen. Castiel just stood there, watching him taking out one of the transfusion bags and a six-pack of canned beer then going up the stairs.

"...." It was unsettling that nobody was talking to one another, not even to Castiel as he glanced around warily. Dean didn't even verbally reprimanding him for stepping out of the cabin, maybe the fight was that fierce that this aftermath was filled with estrangement. He didn't like this at all. He may be a hostage but he didn't like feeling like a total stranger to this ordeal.

Maybe.... he should dare to speak up. He was honestly getting tired of being in the dark most of the times. Eventually, he moved to walk up the stairs, waiting to see if there was any response once he got to the second floor. He then stood in front of Dean's closed door with a loose fist raised, still waiting for anything. But a couple of minutes had passed and nothing happened, so he took a deep breath and knocked softly.

".... May.... may I come in....?" he muttered. He heard nothing from in the bedroom, and he frowned. It wasn't like Dean couldn't hear him, but he didn't like being ignored like this. This vampire was the reason why he was stuck here in the first place, he had every right to ask some questions. ".... Please.... may I talk to you about something....?" he asked a bit louder as he knocked again.

".... About my _Jerry Springer_ moment with my brother last night? Heh, I don't think so...." Dean answered, his tone coming out low and contemptuous behind the door.

".... But.... this doesn't feel right, Sam didn't wish to even look at me--"

"Aww, that breaks my fucking heart.... Can't feel sorry for you, Padre, I've told you about his other side but you didn't wanna believe me," scoffed Dean. "Guess it was easier to hear about his Jeffrey Dahmer days rather than witnessing it with your own eyes. But your reaction's just the same...." Castiel inhaled at that, he couldn't really deny of how he had reacted last night. It was true that he was scared. But, vampire or not, committing murder was one of the ultimate sins and that couldn't be looked over.

".... How can you deal with that....? Of Sam doing such a thing, you simply stood there and watched--" he questioned quietly.

"You don't know anything, Cas...." came the vampire's suddenly harsh voice, and the priest flinched at that. "Do you really wanna know, huh? That my brother got a vamp version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and I can't always watch his every move? Might as well say that I'm as bad as he is because I let it happen, you holy asshole...." Castiel frowned in disbelief. Dean was usually rude and disregarding, but this was much different than before. He was angry yet hurt about this, something he had never seen before.

"I.... I still believe that Sam is a good person but--"

"There's always a 'but', huh....? You're no different from the rest. They never gave Sammy a chance to feel normal the moment they knew what he had done, fearing that he would go off at any moment. Will you do the same to him, will you treat him differently, now that he's a vicious bloodthirsty monster, Cas....?"

Castiel couldn't answer, his hand dropped to the side as he frowned bafflingly. It sounded like Dean wanted to protect his brother from the past sins, yet his remarks were nothing but cynical because of it, like he was done of dealing with the judgements on them by other people. No.... the priest had every right to feel afraid of Sam, that much was true, but not him as a vampire.

Not waiting any longer, he boldly grasped at the knob and opened the door to step in. Dean didn't seem to be angry of him barging in, as he was lounging in his messy bed. But he was still irritated, gulping down the blood as his eyes narrowed at the priest. ".... What, Cas? Are we gonna have another snarky speech outta you....?" he questioned with a scoff.

".... You're right, I did become frightened about Sam's revelations last night," admitted Castiel with a slight nod. "But.... that's just it. If he were a human and committed these deplorable actions, I'd be afraid just the same. I think the only problem I have of this.... is why Sam would think that I would hate him for his past."

"Make sense, you're not the one whose life is ruined by him, at least not yet," snorted Dean and Castiel's frown tightened at that.

"I highly doubt that, _he_ wasn't one who took me from my hometown...." "Ah, there's the padre talking shit now," Dean smirked derisively, finishing up the blood before cracking open the first beer can. "Well.... I'm giving you a free pass now, Cas. You can say whatever you want with no fucking repercussion. Come, sit here and have a beer with me," he offered with a pat on the bed.

"I do not consume alcohol--"

"I'm not asking you...." he pressed, with a thinly veiled growl rumbling out of his throat. The priest shuddered at that before eventually walking up to the bed. He knew putting a distance between them would be pointless, as he then hesitantly sat down by his sprawled out legs. "Good.... Drink, your problems go away if you just take a chug," he practically ordered. With a new can, he popped it open with ease and thrust it at Castiel's face.

"...." Castiel took it, unsure of what to do with it. He had never drunk alcohol, even on his first communion he was given grape juice, and during his special services he wasn't tempted to taste the wine. The vampire's green-gold eyes were watching, waiting for him do something as he chuckled a bit.

"Might as well drink it.... tonight's the night, after all...." he scoffed. The priest caught his meaning and shuddered in surprise. After all that turmoil, Dean was still willing to drink his blood.

".... Will Sam return tonight?" he asked quietly.

"Where else can he go? It's not like he can't get into any more trouble than he already is," muttered Dean, finishing his can in three gulps. "And I don't get why you're worried about him.... Is it because you trust him so much, huh?"

"I.... I'm not sure what to think," he mumbled as he stared down at his drink.

"Then don't think.... Hurry up and drink, Cas," Dean frowned. Knowing that he was getting impatient of his reluctance, Cas finally did what he was told and pressed his lips against the still cold can. He choked a little when the burning fizzy liquid touched his tongue but managed to swallow down a sip before gagging at the taste.

"It tastes.... so atrocious....!" he coughed.

"Don't vomit over it...." frowned Dean and sat up as he watched Castiel hunching over.

"I just can't....! I don't want to drink more of this!" he coughed out.

"Well, since you're stuck with two evil monsters, drowning your sorrow with booze is the best thing for you," the vampire muttered.

"There's no reason for me to do something like that...." scoffed Castiel, staring at him with disbelief. "Is that what you're doing, however....? I've seen how heavily dependent you are with the alcohol--"

"That's none of your business, Cas.... Not even a six pack can knock me out, that's the benefits of being a vampire," countered Dean. He leaned closer to the priest who shuddered by the lack of personal space, before gripping the hands that was holding the beer can. "You know what....? Sam's not gonna be here for a while.... Quit worrying about him and worry more about your own skin," he rumbled quietly.

"Wha...." Castiel shivered in apprehension when he saw the sharp teeth coming out. He couldn't move when Dean suddenly plopped an arm around his shoulders. But his hands were forced to move when Dean decided to drink the offered beer.

"Hmm...." With his eyes now glowing, he stared down at Castiel who still wasn't sure what was he about to do. Dean gripped at his stubbled chin and leaned close to his face. Close enough for his lips toward his own, making Castiel's clear blue eyes widened in surprise.

"W-wait a minute--" he gasped out, just before Dean suddenly placed his mouth against his for a rough kiss. Castiel gasped sharply at this and reacted instantly by pushing against his chest, the half-drunk beer dropped from his hands in the process and clattered to the floor. Wrong, wrong, wrong....! Sinful and wrong, that was what was going on in his frantic mind as he struggled.

But Dean held him still by gripping the back of the priest's head and pushing Castiel's lips apart with his tongue. "Mm! M-mm....!" Castiel whimpered, feeling the burning taste of alcohol filling up his mouth. Dean didn't swallow down the beer, instead he was forcing it down his throat as he let out a deep growl. This action, this immoral thing between men.... he didn't want to react on this at all. He kept pounding at the vampire's hard chest, going as far as digging his fingers through the fabric of his shirt as if to claw him.

"Mmhhh...." Dean pulled back and breathed deeply, a devilish smirk formed on his face as he looked at the priest's mortified face. Even with the flush coloring his cheeks, Castiel appeared that he was about to throw up, as he coughed and gagged harshly. "There.... now you'll taste better...." he rumbled.

"Wh-why....?! Wh-why would you do that?!" coughed Castiel, attempting feebly to push him away. "You beast-- You dare to do that to a man like me?!"

"Of course I dare, Cas," he grinned. "What's wrong with that? Don't tell me that was your first-ever kiss...."

"N-no--"

"Ah, so it was....! I feel so proud to steal your lips for the first time!" smirked Dean.

"You monster!" scowled Castiel, reaching up to smack him. But Dean saw it coming and grabbed his wrist. "Ah!" he winced, when he felt the bones creaking from the tight hold.

"I'm not gonna fall for that again," he growled, the smirk now gone. A second later, he flipped the priest onto the disheveled nest of sheets and pillows, pinning him down as he glared down at him. Castiel stared back with widened eyes, his heart beating rapidly before Dean gripped around his jaw.

"S-stop--" Castiel's protests were cut off when his lips were captured once again, he immediately struggled under the vampire's brick-solid weight as he whined in horror. But Dean practically growled with delight. The human's inexperience of kissing made it easier for him to slip his tongue through the lips and down his throat. He pushed his leg between the priest's thighs and rubbed it against his crotch. It wasn't stirred into arousal from the rough kissing, but that could change later on.

"Mm-mm-mmhhh....!" winced Castiel, feeling the slimy appendage tangling with his own tongue. The urge to retch out the bile from his stomach was evident as he struggled again, feeling sicker by the minute.

"Mmhh, fuck...." growled Dean, panting deeply as he pulled away. He licked his lips as he looked at the priest's slightly debauched expression. But Castiel was far from enjoying that kiss, as he dry heaved a couple of times.

"Please....! Th-this is so wrong....!" he coughed.

"Tch, even if you're gonna throw up or pass out, I'm still gonna drink your blood," Dean scoffed, his hand traveling to the bandaged thigh before ripping off the gauze.

"N-no, wait....! You can't do this--"

"This is what you mean, right....? That a monster like me is the reason why you're stuck here....?" he rumbled, his glowing eyes narrowed at his frightened face. "Me and Sam.... We're not good people, we're that terrible since we drink blood and hurt people.... That's why we're fucking vampires."

"But.... please don't," pleaded Castiel, his stomach clenched to induce the vomit but nothing came. Dean scoffed before moving down to the barely healing wound, now exposed from the pushed fabric of the gym shorts. "W-wait, please.... Dean.... Dean, please..."

Dean paused for a moment in slight surprise. Castiel finally addressed his name, but he frowned. He was only saying it now because he was afraid of what he was doing to him, as he held down his other leg and breathed over the wound.

"Just-- please.... If you have believed in God, you wouldn't be doing this-- Aahh! Ah....!" whimpered Castiel before suddenly yelling out in pain, once the sharp teeth sunk into the fragile skin. He shook his leg out of reflex, but Dean held it down with an iron grip as he took the first gulp. As before, it was pure and delicious, enhanced by the vitamins as he took another gulp.

He heard a choked sobbing sound from the priest but he didn't bother to look up. The nerves were probably reacting to the pain. Good. He was getting tired of his defiant attitude and arguable talk-backs. This human should be even glad that he wasn't beaten down like the other donors by their pureblood masters, as he growled against the smooth skin.

"Please....! P-please, God-- A-ah!" Castiel sobbed out as the nerves shot up straight into his groin area. He writhed and arched his back but it wouldn't do anything to help him. That unwanted feeling of arousal was coming up, and he felt so sick from this. He reached down to grab at the cropped hair and yanked at it but Dean didn't seem to feel the tugging. Instead, he sank his teeth deeper, making Castiel yell out.

The blood was gushing out more, what couldn't go completely down his throat trickled out, staining the bedsheets. Dean was taking more, a lot more than the last time. It wasn't even about his hunger anymore-- it felt like dominance that he was asserting himself. That he was tired of being looked down or ridiculed by anyone.

The sobbing and the hold on his hair eased down, as the sound of Castiel's voice was getting weak from the bloodloss. "Mmhhh.... Mm, fuck...." Dean growled in deep content, as he finally let go. The wound was vicious to look at, as he lapped up the oozing blood. That was it.... He had proven himself that he was the vampire, that he was just as much of a monster Castiel believed him to be.

"Ah.... God, no.... God...." Castiel muttered weakly. His leg still convulsed under Dean's hold as fresh tears leaked out of his tightly shut eyes. It felt like his body was cold even though he was sweating. What was worse, even with the pain he had to go through, he felt aroused by Dean's hellish action. He didn't want to see the subtle tent in the loose shorts, as he hiccuped softly.

"Fuck.... Even through all that, you got a stiffy like the last time...." rumbled Dean, with his glowing eyes glancing up to notice the slightly aroused crotch. The bleeding slowly ceased on the wound but he still licked over it. He himself was hard, feeling the tightness of his jeans around his loins. "Hmm...." Licking his bloody lips, he sat back on his heels and looked at the priest's condition. He'll live, he noted, before his eyes settled on the tent in the gym shorts.

It must be the blood talking or maybe his own hard-on, but he couldn't help being drawn in by wanting to see it. Without thinking much further, he grabbed at the crotch, and Castiel gasped out in absolute shock. "W-wait a minute, please--" he gasped out.

But Dean's hand tightened slightly and he winced. He watched him struggled but it was a weak attempt due to much of his blood being drunk. Castiel tearfully looked up at him, hoping that this would be over already. But it wasn't likely to happen, as Dean started to rub over it much to the human's horror. Under the fabric, he could tell that he was slightly smaller than himself but it was surprisingly big in his hand. He rumbled out a growl, his own lust taking over as he settled himself between the quivering legs.

"Wha.... W-wait a minute, it's done, y-you already drank my blood...." pleaded Castiel, trying to pull himself away from him but he was too weak from his hold. "P-please, Dean...."

".... What happened to calling me a monster or the devil, Cas?" he rumbled lowly. Intense dread washed over the priest, who shuddered when one hand held down his waist while the other grasped at the hem of the shorts.

"N-no....! What're you doing....?!" he gasped sharply, but Dean ignored his pleas as he pulled down his shorts. The bulge was more prominent in the boxers, the sight of it made his eyes glow even more. "W-wait! Please, Dean....!" Castiel cried feebly.

"Shut up...." growled Dean as he glared at him. There was absolute fear in the priest's eyes now, afraid of what was he about to do, as he started to hyperventilate. Growling, Dean turned his attention back to his crotch. Even with the fear, this human was still aroused as his clawed fingers ripped at the cotton fabric.

"Ah! No, no....!" whimpered Castiel, widened eyes watched in bloodcurdling horror as the now stone-faced vampire looked at his partial erection. Dean didn't hesitate to rumble out an interesting growl. Now freed, the semi-hard member was leaning against the stomach, with dark fine hairs covering around the base. It twitched every so often, with the scent of precome was evident in the tensed air.

"P-please--" Dean snarled at him, and the priest recoiled by his angered tone. No.... this wasn't happening....! Dean cannot do this to him.... He couldn't....! But the vampire thought otherwise, as he gripped the erection.

"Ahh....!" Castiel winced. He was sick to his stomach, his body reacting against him with a flinch when he felt a disturbing sensation of him being stroked off by Dean. "S-stop.... s-s-stop....!" he sobbed out shakily.

"Fuck...." growled Dean. He could feel the veins underneath the hardening flesh throbbing with excitement as more precome was starting to ooze out. Like the pure smell of Castiel's blood, the seminal fluid had a virginal scent to it. That made him smirk a little, his sharp teeth gritting together as he leaned over it.

"N-n-no....! Dean, please....!" The priest was whimpering in fear, trying to wrench away his tight hold, as burning tears ran down his cheeks. "Y-you can't do this to me....!"

Dean glanced up at him for a moment, but then looked back down at the now hard erection. His hot panting breath hovered over the oozing tip before he darted his tongue out. Without waiting any longer, he plunged down on it, his mouth engulfing the stiff flesh with eagerness.

But the moment he had done that, Castiel's body convulsed in shock and disgust. He yelped and sobbed, his hands immediately moved to yank at Dean's hair once again. Yet he didn't have any strength because of the bloodloss, as Dean purred in total pleasure and swallowed around it. "Ahh!" Castiel sobbed out, the yanking didn't help before the vampire slowly began to bob his head up and down. "N-no... no...."

Dean ran his tongue roughly against the underside of the priest's member, mentally enjoying the taste of it as he swallowed around it again. He was vaguely aware of the hair pulling and the choked sobbing, not when he was finally enjoying himself. His hand soon moved to fondle the testicles, making the priest shake up more. "Hmm...!" he purred deeply. He could feel the tip bumping to the back of his relaxed throat but didn't care, since he had lost most of his gag reflex a long time ago.

"N-no.... Y-you sick monster...." whimpered Castiel. The muscles in his lower stomach tightened up for some reason. Was it coming from what Dean was doing to him, he wasn't even sure, as the vampire kept deep-throating him with the occasional growls and purrs. "Disgusting.... y-you're vile...." Castiel sobbed, the crying coming out louder. "M-monster.... monster...."

The hands left Dean's hair, but that was the least of the vampire's worries when he felt the erection twitching up. Of course Castiel will climax soon, he had expected that, but he didn't care. He wanted this, he wanted to do this. He wanted to have this human all to himself, just as he had before when he first laid his eyes on him. Castiel let out an anguish cry, continuing to struggle but tensed up when he felt his erection throbbed greatly.

"Ah-- n-no-- A-ahh!" he cried out, as he suddenly felt the expulsion of his semen. Dean wasn't surprised, as he felt the thick salty substance filled up his mouth. Almost immediately, he swallowed down the semen but continued to suck him off.

"Hmmm...." he rumbled in absolute gratification, the penis was getting soft but he cleaned it of any remnant before finally letting go with a saliva slicked pop. His sharp teeth bared with a satisfying grin, the blood he had consumed had actually intensified his own lust throughout this event. It was so good, felt so greatly luscious of doing this. "F-fuck...." he panted deeply.

He sat back, taking a deep breath, before the broken sound of sobbing finally caught his attention. Castiel let out a hoarse wet cough through his crying, his upper body twisted as he buried his tear-soaked face into the sheets. Habitually, Dean just stared, seeing the human shuddering in traumatizing horror. After all, he had forced him into experience his first sexual pleasure. Slowly he leaned over him, rumbling quietly as he reached out to pet through the messy hair.

"Cas--"

"Monster.... monster, that's what you are...." Castiel muttered tearfully. "Y-you're worse.... far worse than Sam...."

"...." Dean blinked at that. He wasn't sure how to react to that, that what he had done was little compared to the murders his younger brother had committed. He just rumbled, his fingers treading through the tresses.

"P-please.... don't touch me, you've done enough to condemn my soul...." he whimpered.

"Cas, listen--"

"Don't! You monster, I hate you! You have condemned me, you damn monster!" Castiel yelled at him, suddenly striking him across the face. Dean nearly flinched at that from the unexpected smack, before the priest stuck him again. "Get off me! Get the hell off me!" he yelled with tearful fury, hitting and beating at his chest now. "I hate you, I truly hate you! You're nothing but a true devil! I.... you're a disgusting horrid beast....! You don't deserve to even have a life, you monster....!"

His angry words struck at Dean, even more than the scratches from the strikes on his face that were healing into nonexistence. But the vampire just stared with his glowing green-gold eyes, his expression was fixed with soberness as he looked at his furious tear-filled eyes. He had never.... expected Castiel to say that. Especially that last comment....

He had heard it so many times from other people, that he was practically numb to it. But from him, this human-- this priest.... His hand moved to touch his face but Castiel instantly smacked it away. "D-don't....!" he seethed. "Get.... away from me, you unholy beast....!"

"...." There was nothing Dean could say to retort that. He couldn't even feel angry or bitter like he had felt earlier and from last night. He _had_ hurt him, yet he didn't feel regret or even shame of what he had done. But seeing Castiel like this, he didn't want to look at him now, as he eventually looked away. Without saying a word, he got off the bed, his lust ebbing down as he took a deep growl. Reaching for what was left of the six-pack, he turned to leave, avoiding the spilled beer on the floor as he left the bedroom and shut the door.

Castiel breathed heavily, his tears kept coming before he turned to his side and curled up. Shakily, he pulled up the shorts, as his throat kept tightening up with the urge to vomit but it wouldn't even come. He was violated.... It was far more damaging than just physically. It felt like his soul was broken into a million pieces from Dean's sick act, it felt far worse than the wound on his thigh. He hiccuped a few times before letting out a weak but raw sob, his tears soaking the dirtied sheets before his mind flitted around to pray.

Praying for forgiveness for his body acting against him, he was thinking, but also praying to get away from here. He didn't want this.... That monster downstairs, it was all his fault that he was a prisoner, that he was forced to suffer like this. Sniffling in utter revulsion, he just laid there, unmoving with a dull ache throbbing in his head and behind his shut eyes.

"Please, God.... I need some help...." he whimpered weakly. "Send me away from here.... just please.... Help me...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and Review.

I'll update ASAP!!


	9. Liberi Fatali

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 9- Liberi Fatal**

He hadn't been in Whitefish for the past few weeks, as Sam just sat in one of the playground benches. Very few kids were around the jungle gym as dusk was settling, but he wasn't really paying attention. Hunched over his lap, his tired eyes gazed at the damp ground as his arms crossed under his stomach. Throughout the argument last night, neither him or Dean had sensed Castiel being nearby, not even his scent induced by fear. If he had known, he would have just apologized to his brother and be done with it.

But Dean's true words came out anyway, proving that after all these years, Sam's actions were too much to bear. Especially around Ruby.... All those times, his brother was still holding that grudge about that false alarm, that the sheer thought of him fathering a kid when he was on a downward spiral would have damaged their relationship. It truly had hurt him deeply, it had made him believe that Dean would think he would even harm his own blood.

Yet at the same time, he couldn't blame his brother for thinking like that. Countless times since running away from home, he had pummeled him in his raging episodes. Dean didn't really try to fight back, attempting to placate him with reassuring words and his own blood. But even without the rage, he had hurt people, and he admitted to that. And Dean helped to cover his horrific mistakes, never mentioning the brutal nights of ridding evidence of the murders-- even burying the human bodies miles from town in deep graves so they wouldn't be found easily by the time they fled off to another state.

Looking back on it, Sam would feel terribly ungrateful despite of the things Dean had done for him. He should have been a man about it and admitted it to Dean. Of course his older brother would have torn him a new one, but knowing him, he would have instantly covered up his mistakes like he had done so many times.

And Castiel.... He couldn't even look at him straight in the eye earlier today; he knew for sure that the priest will be terrified of him now that his secret was spilled. He shouldn't be surprised but it was miserable to keep being reminded of his sins and crimes. Because it wasn't just humans he had harmed, but plenty of mixblooded vampires as well. It explained why plenty of his kind didn't wish to associate with him, fearing his unexpected personality more than just him being a pureblood.

Slowly, he moved his hand to get his phone out of his jeans pocket and glanced at it. Dean hadn't tried to call him, to see if he was okay. He wasn't sure if it was out of the grudging aftermath or the somewhat regret of how the heated argument came to be. It wasn't like he could cause any more trouble, as he glanced briefly at the playground. What was left of the children was already gone after their parents picked them up.

It was strange. Growing up, when their father would go out for the night, Dean would sneak him out of hotel rooms where the family would take up temporary residence. And they would play in deserted parks for hours before going back, giving him a bit of happiness that he could allow himself to have before moving again. They knew they were different from human children back then, but even now, it seemed strange to him to see kids playing until dusk. Like how he had never truly experienced a life like a human would, he had never gotten a normal life as a vampire, not since the death of his mother.

Out of his musing, he was slightly startled when he felt the phone buzzing in his hand. "Oh.... about time, Dean--" he sighed. But when he glanced at the caller ID, his hazel-green eyes glowed in confusion and alarm. It said 'unknown', but immediately he had a dreadful feeling of what could that mean. Gulping, he answered, hoping that it was a random person calling the wrong number.

".... Hello....?" he muttered quietly.

".... Well, well, it's been a long time since we last talked, little Sammy...."

Sam's heart jolted in terrible surprise at the familiar voice as his eyes widened. He stood up without thinking, faintly aware that were very few humans left in the park. But he doubted that he could be heard as he took a deep but shaky breath.

".... Nicholas," he addressed quietly, hearing a short but amused chuckle at the other end.

"Aww, whatever happened to calling me just Nick, Sam? I may have a couple of decades on you but I don't wanna sound so old with way you mentioned my name...."

"It's.... it's hard to remember that, not when Michael insisted on formality when we last saw him and the others," he muttered, his tone coming off unintentionally apologetic.

"Ugh, right.... Mikey's such a boy scout, been that way since forever," came the seemingly humorous voice. "Anyway, Sammy.... there's a reason why I'm calling you, can you guess why?"

"I.... don't know. If it's that important, then you should discuss this with Dean since he's the leader--" muttered Sam as he walked through a deserted trail.

"You know him. He'd curse my ass off and hang up on me. But you, Gentle Giant, wouldn't resist on my request."

"Request....?"

"Actually, it's more of an order. Not from me.... but from the rest of us, good Sammy." A heavy thud of dread fell in Sam's stomach as the tall vampire shuddered out a gasp. An order.... that could be anything the other purebloods wanted out of them. Maybe it had to do with this search they agreed to do in order for Sam to be set freed.... but two years of endless research had led to nothing, as he frowned grimly.

".... Whatever for, Nicholas?" he asked hesitantly.

"Ah, no need to be antsy, Sam. We're just gonna talk about that blood bank thingy. You know, when you sent us that report and needed some money to fund it."

"R-right, of course...."

"Just think of it as a lesson, Sam. Your brother's still new to the game and with no management skills, it's starting to look bad on his part. Aw, if only you can be a leader yourself. If not, you could've been a co-leader alongside Dean, you're obviously the brain of this operation."

Sam could only frown in a mix of confusion and wariness, as his free hand curled into a fist. A lesson.... it sounded more like a veiled threat, by what this other man was going on about. There was probably a reason why he called him; the other purebloods wouldn't be bothered to contact the brothers directly and would have sent their subordinates as messengers. But Nicholas was a different vampire, and Sam wished that this seemingly casual man wouldn't call him like this.

It made Sam even more afraid if there was something more than just to talk about their state's funding. "Um, Nicholas.... if it's really about the search we agreed on--" he muttered quietly.

"Oh, right! Thanks for reminding me, my big bro was _just_ talking about it the other day. But I was like, 'nah, they're probably just farting around over there instead of finding it', and knowing Dean, he probably is."

"No, no, I have been trying, looking through historical records and maps but...." he excused but he was met with another brief chuckle.

"Of course _you_ have been looking.... We wouldn't wanna put a vampire-approved straightjacket on you, right?"

"N-no, of course not...." he sighed.

"Well.... let's hope that it won't be mentioned, but there's a good chance that the others might wanna know about the progress so far."

"Right...."

"Yeah, and-- oh yeah, I nearly forgot the actual reason I called you...." the voice came out so nonchalantly, yet it made Sam dread even more. "We got a meeting tomorrow night at around ten-ish. I know it's the last minute, but this is the request-- or order, I should say, from my big bro."

"A.... a meeting....?" Sam questioned in surprise. "And it's tomorrow night....? Wh-where, in Detroit?"

"Nah, it's in Chicago. They got better hot dogs and pizzas over there anyway...." His answer made Sam instantly grimace with traumatic flashbacks brought up in his mind. Chicago.... that was where he and Dean were hauled away and tortured by the others.

He had only mentioned Detroit because that was where they were captured. That was their mistake. The state of Michigan was the territory of Nicholas and his brother Michael as they were co-leaders. But they were a lot older and smarter, virtually highly respected among the purebloods. Their noble bloodline rivaled the Winchesters' but Sam and Dean's current situation was the reason why Sam was truly afraid of them. That they could easily take them out regardless of their heritage.

"Chicago, Illinois.... We're all the way in Montana--"

"Duh, I knew that. That's why I'm telling you now, Sammy.... Better tell your brother and hop onto it. And knowing my own brother and the rest, they won't take too kindly with you two being tardy to the party."

"All right.... I'll inform Dean immediately, Nicholas," relented Sam. He didn't like this at all. Something wasn't right here....

"Yay, that's good.... Well then, good night, Sam, and have a safe drive over here."

Sam heard the line dropped immediately and frowned with a fearful grimace. They have to go to Chicago now, as he put his phone away. It was faster to go back to the cabin than to call up Dean, as he suddenly ran off. He sprinted the five miles back in matters of minutes, but his rush didn't seem to be noticed as he hastily unlocked the door.

"Shit-- Dean! Dean...! I got to tell you something--" Sam panted as he opened it and rushed in. Only to freeze in absolute shock when he smelled the air. It was fear-- Castiel's fear, but it was far more intense than before. It wasn't even like this last night, as he exhaled in the darkness.

What had happened here....?

".... Dean....?" he muttered quietly, closing the door as his glowing eyes looked around. "Dean, you're here....? Th-there's something I have to tell you...."

"....."

"Dean....?" muttered Sam. He could hear his older brother's calm breathing over by the couch but Dean wasn't sleeping. Who could with this scent saturating the air....? ".... Have you done something earlier, Dean....? To.... Castiel....?" he murmured hesitantly.

".... I don't wanna talk about it," mumbled Dean, his rumbling voice coming out bitterly.

"But...." Sam wanted to press about it. With the priest being this afraid, Dean had to have done something. But he remembered that he was pressed for time, as he quickly put on the lights. "Dean, listen to me...." he frowned as he glanced at his brother slumped in the couch, who appeared dejected with his unblinking eyes gazed at the ceiling. "I just got a call, about a moment ago...."

"Hmph...." Dean mumbled.

".... It was.... Nicholas, who called me, Dean," he answered. Dean barely flinched at that name, but a deep low growl was evident as the empty beer can crinkled slightly in his hand.

"What does that asshat want....?" he grumbled.

"We.... have to get to Chicago by tomorrow night. The others, I think they wanted to check the progress of our deal, or maybe something else other than that. But-- we gotta go, Dean, now."

".... Fuck no," scoffed Dean, startling his brother.

"Dean--"

"We're not going, and that's it," he growled lowly, his eyes glowed as he glared at him. "They have been jerking our chains around ever since they captured us, thinking that we're nothing but hound dogs to find this one shit that probably doesn't exist anymore...."

"I get that, Dean, but we must go now," he frowned. "If we don't, they'll send their people after us and they will take me away. Isn't that what you said, that any insubordination would risk me being locked up....?"

"Yes, I did.... But I am getting sick and tired of it," he scoffed with so much bitterness. "If they wanna send their lackeys after us, then let them. But they dunno that I got my gun on me. I'll pumped their bodies with silver bullets of my own if I have to."

"But-- what the fuck, Dean...? What the fuck....?" Sam scoffed in disbelief. "What is it with you right now? Why're you acting like you don't care at all?"

"...." Dean didn't bother to answer him as his eyes turned back to the ceiling. Sam could only scoff. He wanted to be frustrated or annoyed by his attitude, but with the smell of Castiel upstairs being like this it was hard to ignore that one.

"Dean, just tell me.... Did you do something to Cas?" he pressed.

".... Does it really matter, Sam....?" he huffed tiredly.

"It does.... because we cannot leave him here as we go to Chicago," he scoffed.

"That's why I said that we won't go there...."

"Then they'd find out about him and what you had done."

"So what....? We'll haul ass with our breathing cargo and hide out in Canada. That's like the Mexico of the North, right....?" he huffed.

"I-- what the fucking hell, Dean?!" Sam suddenly snarled out, his glowing eyes narrowed at him as he was close to baring his fangs. "I can't fucking believe you! I'm telling a very important thing and you're just shrugging it off because of who knows what's going on between you and Cas earlier! So either you tell me about it now, or we pack up and go to Chicago this instant!"

"Oh, yeah....?" With a loud crushing of the can in his hand, Dean got off the couch as he let out a threatening growl and glared at his younger brother. "Last time I checked, I'm the leader of this fucking state," he gritted lowly.

"Last time I've checked, you've been a shitty one..." growled Sam.

"Better a shitty one than a crazy one...."

".... Don't do this, Dean, not now," exhaled Sam, through gritted teeth. "I'm being serious here.... we have to leave here now. And the only way to do that is to take Cas with us, they won't know that he's a priest...."

"Tch, funny. Those purebloods wouldn't know, yet they might question the fact why we smell like a human if we go there," Dean scoffed scornfully. "They'll know that something's up, and there's a good chance that you get cuffed up the moment we get in there. So... got any more bright ideas, college boy?" Sam held back his growl, they don't have time to argue as he turned to the staircase. "Hey, where are you going....?"

"I'm not kidding, Dean. We've got to go now," he scoffed. But he barely took two steps before his older brother suddenly grabbed him by the arm. Sam stumbled back by his pull but quickly gained his balance as he reacted with an angry growl. "Damn it, Dean!" he snarled, grabbing his shoulder and lifting him off the floor.

"Arghh...!" Dean growled out in pain when he was flipped over and slammed down with a harsh thud. "Fuck, Sam....!" he snarled as he tried to get to his feet, attempting to wrestle off Sam's stronger hold. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"I'm not! We're going even if I have to tie you down!" growled Sam. Dean gritted his fanged teeth before reaching up to punch him across the jaw. Like last night, the two brother threw and struck each other although Sam got the upper hand, slamming his older brother against the wall after being punched again. "Stop it, Dean! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he snarled.

"Get... the fuck off me!" gritted Dean, baring his fanged teeth at him.

"No! Not until you tell me why are you fucking acting like this! What did you do with Cas, for crying out loud--"

"It doesn't matter! He hates my gut, and wishes that I was dead! That's what he fucking said to me....!" he snarled and Sam blinked at that. "You got your fucking answer now, you dick....?!"

"Wh-what....? Wait a minute, Dean, what did you do that made him said that?!" Sam questioned but his brother pushed at his chest and growled.

"Let go of me now....!"

"What.... happened, Dean?" he growled. Dean huffed in anger, not wanting to fully answer him. That he had violated Castiel in the way that the priest was traumatized by the sight of him now.

".... You know what? Fine, we'll go, and we'll take Cas...." he gritted lowly. "Go and get him ready. Pack up any shit we need and put it in the car, I'll be waiting in there.... Now let go." Sam narrowed his eyes at him, unable to comprehend Dean's dark mood. He couldn't remember the last time he had acted like this, as he let out a low growl.

"You cannot be like this, Dean.... You can't act like this when we get there," he warned.

"Get the fuck off me, Sam...." growled Dean. "Do what I fucking say.... Get Cas, get our shit, and we leave. Isn't that what you fucking want?" Glaring down at his brother, Sam exhaled slowly before he eventually let go of him. The fearful scent coming from Castiel upstairs seemed to intensify even more now; the priest was most likely awake by the sounds of their violent scuffle. "Just go...."

"...." Sam huffed through his nose when Dean pushed past him, not caring to see him opening then harshly closing the door shut. But now that he was left alone, his anger was quickly replaced by concern as he turned to the staircase. He rushed up the stairs within a short few seconds and went up to Dean's closed bedroom door. He didn't wish to take Castiel with them, but they had no other choice. But.... smelling the human like this, it was so terribly intense that he was surprised that his other side wasn't excited by it.

Very carefully, he grasped at the knob and opened the door, nearly holding his breath as he stepped in. ".... Castiel....?" he murmured carefully, his glowing eyes settled at the curled up form on the messy bed. He frowned with total worrisome that he could see him shuddering. The priest was afraid, but Sam wasn't sure if the fear was toward his brother or him at the moment. ".... Castiel, I have a favor to ask you.... please...." he muttered when he stepped closer.

"...." Castiel's breathing as well as his heartbeats increased and Sam noticed it as he silently walked up to the bed. The human even curled up defensively as if sensing him standing over him. But Sam hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath and reached out to him.

"Please, Castiel--" he muttered, touching his shoulder.

"No, please....!" Castiel yelped out and flinched away from his touch. Sam flinched as well, not expecting that reaction toward him. Frowning in confusion and concern, the tall vampire attempted again, and like before Castiel recoiled. "Please! Just.... don't touch me, please...." he whimpered, his voice coming out hoarse but filled with absolute fear, as he shivered even more.

"Okay.... Okay, Castiel, I won't touch you," muttered Sam as he pulled his hand away. What did Dean do to him....? Other than the fear, he could smell Castiel's blood as he glanced at the wound on his inner thigh. The bleeding had stopped but the smell of it was still fresh. "Please.... just listen to me...." he implored quietly. "We.... must get to a very important meeting a few states from here by tomorrow night, and we cannot leave you here...."

".... N-no, please...." mumbled Castiel. A frightened sniffling sound can be heard as he buried his head further into the sheets. "I won't cause any trouble.... Please, just leave me alone...."

"I.... I can't, Castiel...." muttered Sam. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up quickly. We don't have a lot of time to waste...." But Castiel wasn't moving, and the tall vampire's frown deepened at his terrified state.

".... Are you.... afraid of me.... or are you afraid of Dean?" he asked quietly. His question seemed to have an effect on the priest, as he tensed up at that. "Please.... we must go as soon as possible...."

Very slowly but hesitantly, Castiel peeked out of the sheets and glanced at him. The widened blue eyes were rimmed with red from the endless sobbing, with a few more tears trickling down his face. His hair was more disheveled in a chaotic disarray and his borrowed clothes were frumpled, with his shorts hanging off his slimmer hips when he partially sat up.

"Wh-what am I.... supposed to do....?" he mumbled weakly.

"We'll figure it out while we get there," he nodded with concern. "But for now, try to clean up.... I'll get everything ready in the meantime. Is that all right with you, Castiel....?"

".... I-I can't move my leg. His bite.... went deeper," he sniffled, wincing when he tried to sit up.

"Then, I can.... I mean, if you want to," Sam offered with his hand out. Castiel glanced at it for a moment, before taking it, coughing out in slight pain as he got off the bed. It was afflictive when he was trying so hard not to lean onto his right leg, but Sam wrapped his arm around his waist and lifted him up, practically carrying him out of the room. "Sorry...."

"...." Castiel shuddered in his hold but said nothing as he was led to the bathroom. As quickly but as carefully as possible, Sam made him sit onto the edge of the tub, before taking at step back.

"Can you be done in ten minutes at the most....?" he asked.

"I-I can...."

"Okay...." nodded Sam as he brisked out of the bathroom. But as soon as he was left alone, more tears fell from Castiel's eyes and let out a quivering breath. Under the white light, the wound on his thigh was raw and deep red with his flesh torn apart. It was utterly vicious and disgusting, and he hated it.

And he hated.... Dean for it, for this pain and suffering he was given. With the abysmal feeling churning in his guts, Castiel put on the faucet before cautiously taking off his clothes. He grimaced at the sight of his torn underwear, remembering the way Dean shamelessly sodomized him and how his own body reacted to the unwanted pleasure. He couldn't stand up to shower, so he settled himself into the small tub, hissing when the rushing warm water washed over the raw wound.

It was disgusting that it had to happen to him, out of all people.... So wrong and disgusting....

_"So wrong and disgusting....! P-please stop....! Please....!"_

Castiel flinched in surprised shock, then again when the water sloshed over his wound.

What.... was _that_ about....? Rubbing his forehead, Castiel panted out a shaky breath as he stared off. It.... it sounded like him, of how he was reacting of Dean's sinful actions. But.... it sounded much younger, a lot younger....

This doesn't make any sense. There was no way that could make sense.... since this had never happened to him before.... Unless.... No, he can't think on it for now, as he started to wash up as fast as he could. But he didn't wish to be dragged along to whatever the vampire brothers were going. Especially with Dean around.... There was no telling what could happen to him on this hellish road trip.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Dean grunted in pain when he was slammed against the wall. The force of it made it crack and shudder, with pieces of drywall crumbled to the floor. It was expected anyway, since this low-cost apartment was a shambled stack of crap. He gritted his fanged teeth, there was no anger in his glowing eyes but it was filled with something else. Fear and apprehension took over in his expression. He was a grown man of 26, yet he felt like a scared little child that was about to be paddled as he glared at his father._

_Decades older than him, his father appeared as a middle-aged man with greasy blackish-brown hair and grizzly unshaven beard. His shirt was covered with beer stains from who knew how long while his old jeans were marred with dirt and rips. His narrowed hazel eyes glowed with so much irritation and anger, huffing deeply through his nose as he paced back and forth in the small dark living room littered with old cans and empty bottles._

_Dean watched him, tensed on his father's next move as he breathed deeply. Other than the random kicks at the bottles, he could hear Sam in the bathroom. The shuddering frightened breathing of his little brother was making him anxious. He wanted to go to his side but he had get past his father. But that would be pointless to do so, hence why he was pushed against the wall when he had attempted the first couple of times._

_"I knew it.... I knew it... It was bound to happen just because we let him go...." grumbled the older man._

_"But.... Dad--" reasoned Dean._

_"But **you**.... I told you to keep an eye on him, and yet it happened," he scoffed at his son who stiffened at his low commanding tone. "What is wrong with you, Dean? You couldn't do the one simple thing, knowing that Sam's.... condition might trigger one way or another?"_

_"It wasn't my fault, Dad...." Dean shook his head. "He had just lost his girlfriend, of course he would react with grief--"_

_"And he solved it by murdering a human? So close to where anyone else could've heard it and called the cops or something?" he questioned with an angered growl._

_"There was a reason why he had done it, Dad...!" he said, but his tone sounded almost regretting of talking back to him. He really wanted to sound angry as well but spending the most of his life blindly following his father's dictatorial ways made him mentally inclined into obedience. "He.... He found out that his own friend killed her, and he just snapped-- I mean, it's only fair that he--"_

_"Have you forgotten our own laws, Dean? That we cannot kill just any human, not even the purebloods like us cannot do such a thing!"_

_"But it wasn't any human, Dad," he scoffed. "Can't you get it? Sam's girlfriend was killed when we went out for a weekend trip. He was away when she was **murdered**.... Doesn't that mean anything to you?"_

_"Tch.... no, it doesn't...." his father muttered almost contemptuously as he stopped his pacing to look at him. "It's one thing to have a relationship with a human girl, but to actually considering **that**.... as if she would be happy being with someone like him, when she didn't even know what he is...." he added with a scoff._

_"But this is Sam we're talking about, Dad! He has always been different from us--"_

_"Of course he's different, because of what is going on with him, Dean!" he scowled at him and Dean could barely contain his flinching reaction. "Almost constantly, he had been fighting and rebelling against us and it's because of this.... disease in him that makes him do these things....!"_

_"But.... Dad, he hadn't tried to fight or argue against me," he pointed out. "Sure, we had a couple of disagreements between us in the past. But this is Sam we're talking about. He didn't mean to kill the guy but-- It just happened, okay, Dad? It's not like the police can trace it back to us--"_

_"Because you thought it was a good idea to torch the place where the body was....!" Dean didn't have a chance to move out of the way when his father pinned him against the wall. He froze under his hold, yet he boldly stared at his glowing eyes, not wanting to back down. "You honestly thought.... it was a good idea to recreate the horror the same way as your own mother die, Dean?" he gritted lowly, and his older son's frown deepened at that._

_"I panicked, Dad.... I panicked because Sam panicked, I'm so sorry about that..." he muttered solemnly. "But he asked for my help, and I couldn't turn him down, not when he sounded so scared on the phone. So why can't you get it....?"_

_"Because we're already got enough hardships on us, boy, and with this crime your brother has committed.... This is not something I can look over, Dean," his father huffed. "But.... there is one way that we can overcome this, that can saved us from further disgrace from the others. Are you willing to listen to me?"_

_"What....? Whatever it is, Dad, it sounds pretty--"_

_"Dean, just listen...." he ordered and Dean subconsciously shut his mouth. "I know.... this will be difficult to understand this now, but it'll be better for the family. For all of us...."_

_"D-Dad.... Where are you getting at....?" he muttered in apprehension. "Will it help Sammy or something....?"_

_".... Of course it will, Dean, of course...." the man nodded, patting at his cheek before letting go of him. "You will help him.... by putting him out of his misery...."_

_".... Wh-what....?" gasped Dean, his green-gold eyes widened in sheer shock. "Dad.... wh-what're you saying....? Putting him out of-- you mean to, we have to kill him....?!"_

_"I'm not saying that, Dean--"_

_"Sam's our blood....! He's not some stray dog with a broken leg, Dad!" he scoffed in utter disbelief. "How can you say that?! He had only killed one human, when those other fuckers had done a lot more! And you're just gonna turn your back on him....?!"_

_"I wasn't the one who betrayed our family, Dean.... Sam had done that the moment he left home for California, all because he wanted a different life," he argued with a deep scoff. "That he wished to act like.... one of them, when he knew that he can't. That is why it's for the best that we give him mercy for now."_

_"And this is mercy....? Your son, my baby brother-- you call this mercy....?" Dean questioned. He didn't get how this was going, of how his father was acting like this. So cold and bitter. "This is Sammy.... you're talking as if he's nothing but a stranger to us now. Dad, I.... we shouldn't do this. Can we just calm down and think things through--"_

_"Think things through....? Are you honestly questioning me, Dean?" his father interrogated and Dean blinked at that. Was he questioning his only parent right now....? "Answer me, Dean.... You have followed everything I have to say. You made that one mistake when you were a kid, yes, but this is serious now. You must do this one thing. If you don't, there's no telling of what Sam will do next."_

_".... He won't do anything else, Dad," he tried to reason again. "Just please.... sober up and we'll think about this tomorrow. Sammy's really hurt about all of this and--"_

_**THWACK!** _

_Dean's head suddenly twisted to the side from the strike and stumbled back to the crumbled wall. But he didn't make any sound to reveal his pain, he only inhaled as blood drooled out of his mouth. He should feel ashamed of going against his father like this, since he couldn't look at him in the eye right now. But.... his concerns for Sam were much stronger than that. He couldn't do that to him, he couldn't let his little brother down._

_"Listen and listen well.... That is not your brother anymore, Dean...." his father muttered lowly. "You've seen what happens to him whenever he gets into that rage of his.... It was that one human for now, but who else will be killed after that?"_

_".... If it's that bad.... then why do I have to do it and not **you**....?" Dean mumbled quietly._

_"Because.... he wouldn't resist against his own brother.... This is the only way, that's why I'm ordering you to do it."_

_".... Then I guess you got two sons to be disappointed in, Dad," muttered Dean as he looked at him with so much hurt in his glowing eyes. "I'm not gonna do this.... Mom would be fucking disappointed in you, Dad.... She died trying to save us and this is how you're repaying her?"_

_".... She's gone, Dean.... and so is your brother...." huffed his father, before he turned to leave and opened the flimsy door. "Tomorrow night.... that's what I'm giving you, Dean. If you can't do it by then, you can leave this family. Then someone else will deal with Sam, and you can't do anything about it...."_

_"....." With the pain still throbbing in his jaw, Dean glanced up to see his father leaving with a rattling slam of the door. He didn't realize that he was holding his breath that much, before he exhaled. But he frowned miserably. Tomorrow night.... he was given an abysmal chance of talking to his brother one last time. To see the scared pitiful look in his hazel-green eyes._

_This wasn't supposed to happen.... Sam was meant to have a better life, spending his days studying law and settling down with his girlfriend. Dean didn't even care that Sam had fallen in love with a human, he only cared about his happiness and that was it. Breathing deeply, he shuffled for the short hallway, where the bathroom door was left open at the end._

_He quietly stepped in the filthy tiny room, and forced himself not to look away at the sight of his little brother slumped in the empty bathtub. Sam's face was caked with dried blood, and his clothes were covered with rips and more blood, with his shirt and hoodie greatly drenched in dark red color. But it wasn't all of his blood, both of them knew that._

_Underneath the bangs of his boyishly cut hair, however, his glowing eyes were wide open, staring in a fixed shock state. As if he was traumatized of the event he himself had caused. He didn't even acknowledge his older brother when Dean crouched by the tub and grasped his hand._

_"S-Sammy...." he muttered quietly, shaking it as he stared at his stupor. "C'mon, you hadn't spoken a word since we drove outta Stanford.... Please, you didn't even say anything when Dad pummeled you the instant he found out. You gotta talk to me, Sammy, please...." Sam's hand was limp in his grip, he was still unresponsive as Dean let out a grieving scoff. "You.... can't give up like this, Sammy...." he mumbled. "Not like this.... You're not like this...."_

_".... He.... He's right...." Sam mumbled so quietly that Dean nearly missed it, but the older brother was startled just the same._

_"Wh-what....? Sam, what do you mean....?" he muttered._

_".... I'm not worth living, Dean...." he muttered in a dull defeated voice, minutely glancing at him. "Of what I've done, showing my true self like.... this.... She could never love me like this, I'm a.... fucking monster.... Sh-she would've hated me if she had known....."_

_"Don't, Sammy, don't think like that...." he scoffed. "You're not a monster--"_

_"I tore him limb from limb.... I even ate his heart...." mumbled Sam. Tears welled up in his frightened eyes then trickled down his cheeks, as his breathing came out shakily. "I felt.... joy of doing it, other than drinking his blood.... I-I enjoyed his screams, of him begging for mercy, to spare his life but.... Without her, why should **he** live, after what he had done to her....?"_

_"No, it wasn't your fault that it happened, Sammy...." Dean shook his head. "He had it coming, we both know that. But it wasn't your fault, that's why you shouldn't give up like this...."_

_"But...." Sam shivered as more tears came, his blood-stained mouth curled back as he coughed out a sob. "I-it won't bring her back, it won't.... It was nothing but a sick satisfaction.... that it was over the moment it started...."_

_"H-hey, hey...." Dean leaned forward to hug him tightly. The acrid smell of that human's dead blood didn't deter him as he felt his own eyes stinging with tears. "Everything's gonna be okay, all right....? I don't give a fuck what Dad says, you shouldn't die for this."_

_"But I have to.... r-right....? You got until tomorrow night--"_

_"No, Sammy...." Dean gazed back at his brother with reassuring look on his face. "You're cast outta this family.... then so am I. We'll make our own family, okay? We'll get away from here, hide out at Bobby's-- he'll know what to do. All right? Let's get you cleaned up and haul ass...."_

_".... You're not going to let me give up, are you?" sniffed Sam and Dean put up a small but sad smile._

_"You're my pain-in-the-ass responsibility, but you're my brother, Sam...." he nodded. "You deserved to live and to keep on living.... That's all it matters to me, to both of us...."_

_".... You're a selfish jerk," Sam tearfully mumbled but he agreed with a slight nod. "But I'm still scared.... What if those other purebloods were to know about this....?"_

_"Tch, they got their own shit to worry about.... They already believed that we don't exist for some fucking reason...." he scoffed softly. "C'mon, Sammy.... we still got time, we'll go to Bobby's and lay low. You'll get better, okay....?"_

_".... I hope so, Dean...."_

Even with sunglasses on, Sam squinted his eyes with slight annoyance when the soft rays of sunlight shined through the driver's window. It was his turn to take the wheel, as he was more aware of not going above the speed limit with patrolling officers waiting alongside the interstate. Coasting past a minivan then a RV, he let out a stressed exhale, before glancing at Dean next to him.

Wearing his own aviators, Dean was fast asleep, but his body language was speaking otherwise. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest with his head tucked down, his face a seemingly permanent frown. Sam blinked tiredly before turning to the rearview mirror, and frowned abysmally.

Castiel was asleep as well due to the large amount of blood he had lost. But it was unsettling to see him blindfolded like that.... It was the taller vampire's idea to do so, though he honestly didn't want to, but it was for everyone's sake that he doesn't know his surroundings during the drive. The priest didn't or couldn't protest about it, not wanting to fight back when the cloth concealed his eyesight.

To see him so shaken disturbed Sam, but seeing his own brother being even more contemptuous was just as troubling. Whatever happened between them, they couldn't discuss it. At least not now, not until they get to Chicago by tonight. Sam was rather glad that this meeting was late at night, but he was still apprehensive just the same. Michael and Nicholas, he knew they were going to be there since they were the top vampires in the country.

But.... there were about a half of dozen other purebloods the last time he had remembered, within them outranking one another by just wealth alone. It partially explained why the Winchesters had always been a butt of a joke, as least as far as he can remember. Growing up, he was told by Bobby that the family used to live in a normal middle-class life, but he wouldn't know, with the constant moving between one shoddy motel to the next. He had no memory of their childhood home in Lawrence, Kansas, as he was only an infant when they left there.

But he had come by to see the home in his own eyes, after a few months of them being liberated from their father. A new family was living there, Dean had told him that, and the house looked just the same like in the photos, as if the fire hadn't destroyed half of it. He knew then that Dean would feel grievance about going back to the one place where their mother was killed. It was a part of the reason that the house was only recently purchased back then.... Nobody would want a home where a vicious murder took place.

Blinking out of his memory, Sam glanced up in time to see the sign and let out a relieving sigh. There's still time, he thought. Chicago was only fifty miles away. It was mid-morning, and lucky enough the time zone was earlier in that state. It meant that they got enough time to get ready, but first.... He glanced at the slumped priest on the rearview mirror, seeing him stirring for a moment.

Castiel was only blindfolded but his wrists weren't bound as he stretched out his arms. He quietly exhaled a yawn, before the subtle scent of fear was rising up when Sam sniffed the confined air. But Dean didn't wake up from the smell; he made himself sure that he won't be disturbed since he downed a six-pack plus two bottles of strong whiskey during a pit stop hours earlier.

".... I-I...." Castiel mumbled quietly, hesitant of speaking in case he might wake up whoever was driving.

"It's me, Castiel.... There should be a bottle of sport drink right next to you...." Sam spoke quietly, and the priest was slightly startled by his sudden voice. Even while keeping one eye on the road, he watched him tentatively touching the plastic shopping bag then taking out the bottle. If it weren't for this disturbing feeling between all of them, the silence would have simply felt awkward aside from the few soft sips. ".... How are you feeling, Castiel....?" he muttered quietly.

".... In pain.... Feel tired still but...." Castiel managed to speak but fell silent. He inhaled with apprehension, shivering in his seat as he let his head slumped against his shoulder.

"Okay.... In about twenty, thirty miles, we'll stop at a motel," he nodded. "We got enough time to figure what to do with you... I mean, whether to leave you there or something." Castiel frowned bitterly, as he drank more of the blandly tart drink. He wasn't sure what was really going on.... but from Sam had said, they were going to some kind of meeting. And whatever this meeting was.... it might have to do with more vampires.... like them.

More monsters like them....

".... It's for your own good, Castiel, to have you blindfolded...." Sam muttered apologetically. "You can't get compelled, or else it'd be easier to go to the city and make you forget afterwards."

".... Are.... are we still in Montana?" asked Castiel.

".... No, not anymore at least." muttered the vampire. "We're almost there to our destination, though. Just hang tight...." To hear Sam so concerned, Castiel had nearly forgotten that he had murdered people, possibly innocent ones. He shuddered in fear at the thought of it. He found it hard to imagine that someone like him would do something like that, but then again he doesn't even know him or Dean. Behind the blindfold, the priest could feel the warm sun on his face though it did little to him as his skin felt cold, even though he was wearing the overly large sweatshirt.

He might be seriously anemic after what had happened last night.... but that was little in comparison to the disgusting sick feeling in his stomach after what Dean had done. It was appalling beyond words to be in the same space as his tormentor, who didn't acknowledge his presence when Sam had to carry him out of the cabin and put him into the Impala. Castiel couldn't keep his conscious up to even feel afraid and passed out before the older vampire started to drive away.

And now, he felt like going back to sleep again, as he finished the rest of the drink. ".... Would I... have to go with you.... to this meeting?" he muttered with trepidation.

"No, let's hope not...." Sam assured him, but he himself frowned. He wasn't sure what Dean is going to do about this problem of his, whether or not he was going to even speak about it. Knowing his asshole personality, Dean would bottle up his feelings as usual and cover it with vast amounts of alcohol as he had done so last night. "It'll be okay, Castiel.... we got time for you to rest up, okay....?"

".... If you say so...."

Sam nearly grimaced at the pessimistic tone but focused on the driving as he revved up to match the speed limit. Castiel closed himself up like Dean, just when he was trying to make him feel comfortable. But now.... they were monsters to him now, with himself being responsible for many deaths and sufferings he had caused.

"Ughh....! Tch...." Dean snorted in his slumber, subconsciously fixing his sunglasses that was askew before going still. Sam narrowed his eyes slightly at him, and scoffed. There wasn't any word out of his older brother during last night's drive, only making a few grunts during a stop at the gas station before it was Sam's turn to drive. Part of the reason why they were ahead of schedule was because of Dean's dangerously high speeding, but it didn't give him much comfort. It only gave Sam more worried thoughts, wondering how to deal with Castiel's presence without making the other purebloods suspicious.

He glanced up in time to see that Chicago was now less than forty miles away, with the town of Cicero even closer. It was safer to stop there, no chance of seeing of the others' subordinates in such a small town. But he was still paranoid, the dry lump in his throat wiggled as he took a deep breath. He had to stay focus, he cannot let the memories of him being locked away and tortured get to him.

Ever since Dean was forced to become a leader, he put up a mental wall to block it out, not wanting to dwell on the terrible bloody details. But to see those who were willing to snuff away his life, he was more afraid of that than his true self. He briefly glanced over his shoulder to see Castiel slumped back in his seat and possibly went back asleep. But it was probably one of the signs from losing so much blood, and that wasn't good. "Great...." he sighed deeply, turning to the next exit for Cicero.

With the time zone on his side, Sam managed to get into town within a half an hour. Not wanting to cause a scene of having a blindfolded kidnapped priest in the car, he quickly scanned the yellow page site on his phone and found the first cheap motel. That was the brothers' patterns back then, alternating between first and second motels when hopping from town to town. And old habits were hard to get off, as the vampire found the shoddy place and parked the Impala to the far end of the parking lot, away from human eye.

As much as he didn't want to leave both of them alone in the car, Sam got out and moved quickly to get a room for the night-- the usual two beds, as he and Dean usually would book. The moment he got the keys, he went back to the parked Impala. "Hey.... Castiel...." he muttered quietly when he opened the back door. Castiel stirred slightly as the large hands untangled the knots of the cloth. "Psst, Castiel, it's time to wake up...."

"Uhhh.... Wha....?" Castiel mumbled sleepily as he blinked his eyes open, only to squint by the sunlight after not being able to see for so long. "Where.... are we....?" he mumbled.

"Sorry, I can't say...." Sam sighed as he pulled the hood over his head. "Are you okay now....? Can you walk?"

"I.... don't know...." he muttered. In the hand-me-down pair of jeans that was at least two sizes too big, he rubbed over the bandaged thigh. The pain was still there, jarring at the nerves though it wasn't as intense as it was last night. He couldn't see Sam's concerned face due to the obscurity of the hood, but he flinched out of reflex when he was touched by the shoulder.

"Sorry, sorry.... but if you want, I can help you walk to the room," Sam offered. "Is that all right with you....?"

".... Is it all right to.... leave him here....?" Castiel asked softly, not wanting to glance at the still sleeping vampire in the front seat.

"Don't worry, he's out for another two or three hours," he nodded. Proving his point, he tossed the spare room key at his brother, bouncing onto his lap but Dean was still out from his alcohol-induced slumber. "Come on.... The room's only across from us...." The priest hesitated for a moment, and Sam understood that, but he soon nodded reached his hand out.

"Okay...." Accepting the tall vampire's hand, he got out of the car with a wince. He sucked in his breath as he limped alongside him. It hurt more with each step, but he was lucky that the room really was across, as Sam unlocked the door.

"Come on.... here we go...." Sam sighed, leading him to the closest bed. "Wait here, okay?" Castiel didn't have a chance to nod when Sam was already out the door but less than a minute later he came right back with an overnight bag. When he looked up, he saw him pacing around the room picking up anything that might have a name of this motel. He forgot, he was still a hostage. If he were to know where exactly he was, he might try to get to the nearest police station to get help. Not that he could with a wounded leg, as he grimaced in pain.

Sam managed to gather all the cheap toiletries and papers and dumped them in the trash bin. "Okay.... Here, this will make you feel better," he muttered, when he got out the vitamins and other essentials and left it on the bed Castiel was sitting on. But the priest didn't move to get them or the protein bars and another bottle of sport drink. With weary blue eyes, he glanced at him with a dreadful frown.

".... I wasn't supposed to know that...." he admitted quietly, and Sam blinked at that.

"What?"

"You really are a nice man but.... It's hard to see you the same way again, after hearing about your past," he muttered, glancing down when the hazel-green eyes stared at him. Sam huffed out a deep breath and rubbed his tired eyes.

".... Well, you hate Dean now, it's only fair that you hate me as well," he muttered. Castiel shuddered at his dismissive but defeated tone before he heard him walking around again. "We're not human, we're not as you are.... There's nothing I can do to atone for my sins, Castiel. Humans, other vampires, it didn't matter who I hurt, but I'm paying for it by being punished by the others for over the past two years...."

Two years....? Castiel wasn't getting it, but it sounded like these other purebloods were the reason why they were hiding out in the woods in Montana. Maybe that was why Sam was in a rush to get to this meeting, that he didn't want to cause any more trouble. Slowly, he picked up vitamins and took one of each with the sport drink. Sam, meanwhile, gathered some clean clothes and went to the small bathroom.

It truly was difficult to look at Sam the same way again, knowing that he had killed people, but he wondered one thing. Sam lamented the fact of why he was still alive after everything he had done. He understood that part, plenty of people had come to him with fragile thoughts of life and death. Even as a priest, he couldn't help them all and can only offer spiritual comfort. But.... thinking about it, Sam appeared tormented now that he knows about it.

Hearing the muffled spraying of showering in the bathroom, Castiel crawled to the center of the bed and grabbed for one of the bars as he laid down to his good side. He was hungry but drowsiness was getting back to him as he closed his eyes. Even drinking down two full bottles, his throat felt dry as he tried to swallow and his empty stomach clenched in protest. But sleep felt stronger right now, as the dreamless darkness was inching through his mind.

Suddenly, he woke back to reality when he heard the motel door being unlocked and opened. He nearly flinched when the door then slammed shut but tried to hold himself still as he heard unusually heavy footsteps going past the bed. The sound stopped for the moment and it made Castiel shivered. The fatigue gave way for apprehension, his heartbeats thumping faster as if feeling the disturbing presence over him.

".... Tch...." The footsteps paced away, before the sound of Dean settling somewhere else was heard, possibly into a chair. But after that.... nothing. But it frightened Castiel nonetheless as he curled up.

He wanted him gone.... He wanted to be left alone. But it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. A few moments later, the bathroom door opened and Sam walked out with just a plain white undershirt and some jeans. The younger vampire seemed to sense something was wrong with Castiel as he walked over to the occupied bed. The priest shuddered when he heard the low quiet growl above him before he heard him walking away.

".... When this is over with, we're going to talk about this...." he muttered, obviously to Dean. But there wasn't a retort or any other sound out of Dean, as he laid down on the bed with a tired heavy flop. There was another bout of silence, from what Castiel could hear, but now he felt too wired up by the presence of both of them. He didn't want to go back to sleep now, as much as his body wished to rest more. He shivered again when he heard the growl again.

"Please, Cas.... calm down and go back to sleep...." grumbled Sam, surprising the priest. "We got about five hours then we must go...."

".... I'm sorry...." he mumbled quietly, taking deep breaths as he mentally prayed for protection. He blinked a few times, the sleepiness was seeping back in and his body relaxed but the pain was still there. A recurring reminder of the terrible event last night.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"....." Forgoing the needless tie, Dean opened the door of the parked Impala and sat in the driver's seat. Sam seemed to want him to dress well by packing him this navy-blue business suit. Not that it mattered to him at all.... He sulked in his seat and stared ahead in the crude darkness. To meet those who had tortured him and his little brother was nothing more than a kick in the gut. thinking back on it, he wasn't sure who was hurt more in physical way, but mentally speaking Sam had it worse.

After they were released, Sam shrunk back into his catatonic state like he had back when he had done his first kill. And it wasn't the first time, he had that type of episode a lot of times whenever he would go too far in his sociopathic state. But the torture had significantly damaged Dean's little brother to the point that he had built up a wall and kept to himself for days on end, not speaking to even him when they made their way to their so-called territory.

And now.... forcing themselves to meet them, over what? He knew for sure that the purebloods wished to know about their end of the deal. They still didn't know where to start, not even a hint to lead them somewhere, but he highly doubted that they would get off easily because of it. Breaking out of his disgruntled thoughts, he caught sight of Sam stepping out the motel room. He was also dressed in a navy blue suit but just a shade darker with a dark red tie.

If that one action hadn't corrupted his younger brother's downfall for the rest of his life, he would have looked presentable as he was right now after becoming a lawyer. But no.... Sam only looked decent just to please the others, Dean observed, before his glowing eyes narrowed when he saw him grasping Castiel by the shoulder and gently leading him across the parking lot.

He growled lowly from his chest, not getting what was Sam doing. But Sam seemed to hear him and frowned back with his glowing eyes. Castiel, still wearing the oversized hoodie, stumbled a bit mainly from his thigh injury but followed after the tall vampire. He appeared to be slightly better now that he had managed to scarf down a couple of the protein bars. But he was still weak with anemia, as Sam opened the back door and nudged him in as the priest was blindfolded again.

Castiel, fortunately, was going to sit right behind Sam, who nimbly stepped into the front passenger seat and huffed. The younger vampire stole a very brief glance at his brother. Dean was just glaring ahead, his hands weren't on the wheel, the key wasn't even in the ignition. Sam was getting tired of his abhorrent attitude and growled but they got bigger problems as he also stared ahead.

".... He won't accompany us, if that's what you're thinking...." he growled softly. "I told him specifically that he'll stay put in the car. He won't think of escaping while we're gone, Dean.... He knows better. Can you understand that....?"

"...." Dean just let out a deep huff but finally bothered to put the key in and started the started the roaring engine. There was no warning before he tore right out of the parking lot with a sharp turn for the streets.

Even with the belt seat on, Castiel flinched at the sudden movements and shuddered out a breath. How this vampire driving this erratic without being pulled over by the cops was beyond his comprehension. But it was less troubling than what he had to go through last night. Even a traumatic experience like that, it didn't echo into a dream since he had only dreamt about darkness once again.

But being in the same presence as Dean was making him more afraid of him. Maybe that was what Dean truly wanted out of him, to prove that what vampires really are. But then.... why does he feel afraid only towards him and not Sam, whose violent past seemed more of a better reason....? Sniffling quietly, Castiel leaned his head toward the window though he couldn't see. There was no reason to even speak on the drive, as he let himself drift into a light sleep.

As the car drove into the highway, Sam observed the horizon, a sliver of deep red could be seen through the whizzing trees. He was used to the silence, but it was the tension coming from Dean that was hard to ignore. It seemed different than the times when his older brother would bottle up his feelings by making snide remarks whenever Sam would try to bring up what was bothering him. But he knew that it would be useless to talk to him now, as Dean seemed more moody than ever.

He was angry, mostly now that they had to go to this meeting, but.... the last time Sam had seen him truly angry was after the death of their father. He couldn't forget the fury that nearly rivaled his own, when the older brother totaled a half of dozen cars in Bobby's junkyard just to express his grief. And then a year after that.... he remembered the intense blowout between the two of them before Dean turned his back and walked out on him.

That thought made Sam grimace with regret. It was his fault that Dean left him when he thought he was doing the right thing but that was a terrible mistake. It was a mistake on both ends, however.... A deja vu of him calling and crying to Dean to help him dispose of the torn bloody bodies after days of being left alone. Sam pushed away that memory as he sighed and shook his head. His throat felt dry even though he only took a couple of swigs of saved animal blood in his flask.

Not even the hunger in his gut could distract him, as they were getting closer and closer to the city. ".... This is no different than me putting up a wall in my mind after we left Chicago...." Sam finally spoke, his voice barely a mumble. "Knowing you, you'd disagree, but it's the same in a way.... You haven't said a word since we've left, and it's irritating. Not to mention that this silence of yours.... it has something to do with Cas. Am I right about it....?"

"....." Dean appeared not to hear him, revving just above the speed limit and keeping his eyes on the road. Sam glanced at him and scoffed a bit.

"Whatever it is.... he's messed up pretty bad. You practically ripped off a chunk of his flesh. Is.... is it because you were still pissed off that I didn't tell you about what I did? Is that why you took it out on Cas....?" Again, Dean didn't bother to answer him at all. All this time, they reached the city after making an exit. Twinkling lights of skyscrapers could be seen from afar. Sam stopped his questioning when he noticed the tall buildings, and instantly a foreboding feeling dropped in his stomach like a heavy stone.

He took a deep breath to calm himself but he knew that it wouldn't work so easily. Dean, however, his frowned seemed to deepen with his narrowed eyes deftly glancing at their surroundings. It was still early, plenty of people were either hanging out or eating since it was a nice evening. But it didn't matter to him anyhow. With a human in their possession, he couldn't park the car in the underground parking garage of this one office building that they must go to. Too much eyes in there, belonging to those who were loyal to their pureblooded masters and who would be very eager to inform them of the Winchesters' latest problems.

Sam let out a soft growl but said nothing of his brother's detour as Dean slowed through a neighborhood away from the downtown district. The Impala rumbled for a while before he drove into an abandoned lot behind some foreclosed building. It was practically pitch-black in the far corner, away from the street lights, where he parked it and took off the engine.

".... Don't wanna be fucking late...." Dean finally spoke, letting out a low threatening growl as he stepped out and slammed the driver's door a little too harsh. Sam had it in his mind to growl back but held it down and stepping out as well. But he moved to open the back door, cautiously reaching out to tap Castiel on the shoulder.

"Cas.... Come on, wake up...." he muttered. Almost instantly, Castiel startled from his sleep, completely forgetting that he was still blindfolded when he tried to rub his concealed eyes.

"Wha...."

"Come on.... Sorry about this, but I'm going to have to tie you up in the front seat," he muttered solemnly as he led him out. Slightly disoriented, Castiel gulped when he was made to sit in the front passenger seat. He tried not to flinch when his wrists were grasped and tied firmly to the steering wheel with a tough but silky cloth. The tie that Dean didn't bother to wear. "We won't take long, Castiel, okay....? We'll leave immediately when this is all done...."

It didn't sound so comforting when being tied up like this, being left all alone in some strange place that he doesn't know about. But he nodded just barely, and Sam made a discomforting sigh. "Okay then...." sighed Sam, before closing the door and locking it.

Through all this time, Dean was standing at the end of the empty, his glowing eyes staring ahead as he waited for his younger brother to catch up. As soon as he did, the brothers vanished off into a blur. Zipping around deserted streets and alleyways, they soon slowed down the moment they came around passerby, pacing briskly down a few blocks from where they would meet the others.

Around them were simply humans strolling past them, but they could sense out a few mixbloods hovering nearby, with Dean noticing one wearing sunglasses regardless that it was night time. He rumbled a low growl deep from his chest, ignoring the sudden tight grip on his shoulder. "Not here, Dean...." warned Sam. He knew they were being watched now that they were close to the 'headquarters'.

The thirty-five storied building was Sandover Bridge & Iron Inc., a front for the unsuspecting public as an electronic and tech support company. In reality.... it was their prison, of the endless torture behind closed doors for countless days. Just the sight of it made Dean huff out with intense detestation, trying his hardest not to bare his sharp teeth once they saw the glass doors in view.

It was automatic, opening immediately when the brothers stepped through. The lobby was typically generic and large but eerily empty. The bland but bright fluorescent light was their only company, as Sam let out a deep but uneasy sigh as he looked around. ".... Thought they would send someone to come and escort us to the meeting," he muttered.

".... We shouldn't have come here...." Dean growled lowly, his green-gold eyes glowing more intense as he glared around. "There's no telling what they want with us...."

"Well.... at least you're talking, but then again you're just gonna shut in on yourself once this is over," Sam scoffed softly.

"Tch...."

".... Dean--"

"Don't.... Not here," Dean gritted lowly. "We're only here because we wouldn't wanna risk you being chained up like some wild animal, right....?" His biting tone made Sam grimace in disbelief. This anger, this contempt, why was he aiming it at him now....? Why was he he even angry in the first place, when he was the reason why Castiel was suffering at the moment?

"You know what....? Remind me to kick your fucking ass if you don't tell me, Dean, because your attitude is pissing me off right now," he scoffed.

"Hard to be pissed off when you're practically wetting your pants by just standing around here, since it fucking brings back such wonderful memories," bit Dean, and the taller vampire felt his jaw muscles tensed at that.

".... Don't push me away, Dean, please...." he sighed, glancing at his hardened face. "That's always like you, because it'd be too late to take it back and you'd end regretting and moping around. It's typical of you."

".... So what? As always, you're stuck with me and that's it...." huffed Dean. Sam frowned, not sure whether to feel truly angry or sorry for his brother. But his family problems shifted out of his thoughts when both he and Dean perked up at the muffled humming sound suddenly filled up the air. They turned their attentions to the end of the lobby, where a line of about four elevators were there.

But one was being used, the digital number above it slowly counting down to five, then four, three, two, and finally 'L' for lobby. The brothers tensed up almost instantly, with Dean clenching his fists while Sam felt an apprehensive shudder down his spine. They knew what was coming down.... a pureblood. But whoever it was, they were about to find out as the metal door opened with a soft hiss.

"Well, well.... Looks like the Hardy boys are here after all...." came an amused chuckling voice and Dean barely restrained an utterly contempt growl at the sight of the man.

"Lucifer, you fucking bastard...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and Review.

I'll update ASAP!!


	10. I Loathe You, I Fear You, I Need You

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 10- I Loathe You, I Fear You, I Need You**

"Lucifer....? Dean, you rascal. You forget that I go by my public name here," the man grinned lightly as he stepped out of the elevator. "I know that my old man was a kook for giving me that name as joke but here.... It's Nicholas Alighieri...." Walking almost casually toward the brothers, he had a tall but average height between the two of them.

Short sandy blond hair and mischievous greyish-blue eyes, he appeared as a man in his mid to late thirties, wearing an impeccable dark grey suit that was obviously expensive. But he was older, nearly three times older than the Winchesters who each reacted differently at the other pureblood. Dean huffed and breathed through his nostrils as an enraged bull but Sam felt himself stepping away out of inclined fear the moment Lucifer turned to him. He didn't want to see him but there was no way that he could avoid him.

"Sammy....! Very good to see you in the flesh after, what, two years or something?" he smirked lightly.

".... Yes, Nicholas, it has been a long time since we had last talked," Sam muttered with a slight nod, his hazel-green eyes flitted away from his knowing gaze.

"But I just talked to you last night, though...." he pointed out.

"Y-yes, of course," nodded the taller vampire, feeling the long-forgotten ache in his left hand as he clenched it into a fist. "About this meeting...."

"What the fuck is this about, Lucifer? Why are we here....?" questioned Dean with a short growl. But Lucifer merely glanced at him and cocked his head as if he heard him wrong.

"A meeting, of course, what else?" he questioned.

"Don't bullshit us. It's something else, about that deal--" "That aside, this meeting is a test of sorts for you guys," the older man shrugged, strolling for the elevators. "Dean's a state leader, it's his responsibilities to keep his little minions in lines, even though I see the mixbloods as a waste of space. They make better servants than humans, though...."

"The fuck are you saying?" scoffed Dean.

"Dean, calm down...." Sam frowned in warning.

"Yeah, Dean, calm down," smiled Lucifer, but his eyes narrowed at Dean as they glowed subtly. "You don't wanna upset _my_ big brother, do you....?" Dean growled at that, but he was right. Michael was a pompous elite who didn't tolerate those who dares to step out of line that would endanger their secretive existence, even on the purebloods like Sam and Dean. In fact, that vampire was the reason why they were captured the instant the brothers attempted to hide out in Detroit.

"Dean...." frowned Sam. Dean huffed as he slightly relaxed, but he still kept his guards up as he and his brother followed after him as the metal doors opened.

"Fine, I'll be on my best fucking behavior," he scowled.

"Hmm, best to lay off the F-bombs around the others," shrugged Lucifer. "I mean, I'm okay with it, like a cool uncle or something like that. But we gotta act like grown-ups once we get up there...."

"Yes, we.... we understand that...." Sam nodded in a relenting manner. To see the figurative leash tightened around his little brother's neck immediately occupied Dean's mind. His glare was burning holes on the back of Lucifer's head, as the much older vampire pressed the button for the top floor before the elevator moved upward.

This man.... He was the reason why Sam was tortured more, that he suffered both mentally and physically to the point that his mental state was teetering of being shattered completely back then. All the while, Dean himself was humiliated by being kicked around by one of Lilith's underlings-- a mixblood cretin who went by the name of Alastair. The disgusting nasally taunts rang in his mind, that he was weak and pathetic, that he was nothing but a waste of space, not deserving to live.

Almost like how Castiel had said....

"So.... What have you two been doing? Making use of your positions, banging chicks and kicking asses, something like that?" grinned Lucifer as he turned to the brothers. "Sammy, I know you're a nerd but you certainly look like a ladies' man right about now. Any girl caught your eye?" he asked Sam, who glanced down out of reflex.

"I'm.... in a relationship currently," he muttered. "A mixblood by the name of Ruby."

"A mixblood? Eh, beggars can't be choosers then," he replied rather dismissively. "Who is she? Never heard of her."

"She's from the Maryland territory and.... works for Lilith.... for a while now," answered Sam, and Lucifer slightly raised an eyebrow at that.

"Oh yeah.... I've forgotten about Lilith, hadn't heard much from her lately," sighed the older man with a slightly annoying frown. Seeing his humorous personality was disturbing enough but to see him being truly angry or irritated was something Sam didn't wish to see.... Once was enough for the taller vampire as he felt the phantom pain in his left hand again.

"Why does it matter to you?" scoffed Dean, narrowing his glowing eyes challengingly when Lucifer flickered his attention onto him.

"Why? Jealous that your 'little' brother got someone to fool around with and you don't, Deanie Boy?" he questioned almost jokingly. Dean was close to baring his fangs at his nonchalant attitude and growled. But he barely had time to even do so, when he was slammed against the solid metal wall with his throat tightly constricted by the other vampire's hand. Sam flinched by the sudden attack and gasped, his widened eyes could only watch as Lucifer let out a bored sigh.

"You know, Dean.... I really get the whole _Rebel Without a Cause_ attitude of yours-- it was pretty amusing when we first met," he sighed, his grey-blue eyes staring at the angry yet anxious expression on Dean's face. "But know this, okay....? I don't _really_ like you that much."

"Gee, what gave that away....?" gritted Dean, huffing through his nose in a vain effort to breathe. But Lucifer smirked slightly as he let out a brief chuckle.

"Your little bro, however.... A much better amusement for me," he nodded at Sam who was just paralyzed with apprehension at the sight before him. "Sure, he's like a demonic rottweiler on most cases, but with the right hand, he's nothing but a scared little bitch who wouldn't dare snap."

"Courtesy of you...." Dean growled.

"Oh, you're very welcome, Dean," smiled Lucifer, baring his sharp teeth. "Being thrown around just because you were afraid to discipline Sammy here, I often questioned your ability as the leader of Montana. But then again he seems to be on his best behavior right now. I wonder why....? Certainly.... not because of you, of course."

"Gahhh....!" Dean coughed for air the moment Lucifer let go of him. He shuddered and glared at the much older vampire who merely smirked as he turned back around. He wanted to lash out but with bruising feeling in his windpipe had proven him otherwise, he reluctantly backed off as he straightened up. He didn't wish to show fear for this man, as how Sam was showing with the widened hazel-green eyes staring at him in disbelief.

"Geez, that took a while...." Lucifer sighed, when the contraption shuddered into a stop and the doors hissed open. "Come on, amigos, we got some pureblood shits to do...." he commanded, stepping out first. With his ego slightly bruised, Dean hesitated before stepping out as well, with Sam following closely behind.

".... The fuck were you _trying_ to do....?" his brother whispered out of fearfulness, grabbing him by the shoulder to glare at him. "Keep your shit together, Dean.... the sooner we're over this, the sooner we can leave here, okay?"

"Tch.... just get off," gritted Dean, as he shrugged off his hold before walking after Lucifer. Sam scoffed but said nothing else. There were more important matters at the moment. The brothers walked through the long cold hallways, nothing but white and granite with burgundy red carpet. Sam set aside his fears and took a deep breath. If he were to cower like this, the others will suspect that something is wrong. The only thing he could hope now was that Dean would calm down as well.

But he could still sense the angry aura coming off him, and he frowned. It wasn't going away, now that Lucifer paused into a stop in front of a set of heavy wooden doors. "Oh, look.... we're here, right on time," he smiled lightly.

"Tch...." scoffed Dean.

"Come on, Dean.... Don't act like a stick in the mud, that's my brother's job," he grinned at him. But the narrowing of his eyes signaled a thinly veiled threat at him, and Dean couldn't help but feel a subconscious shudder throughout his body. "Okay then.... Let's get this show on the road," he grinned, opening the door.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_"...." A giant iron fan lazily turned in the gated open-aired ceiling, each of the large three blades momentarily block out the soft bleary sunlight on Sam's face._

_It felt like it had just happened just last night.... The blood, the screams for mercy, the red-hot rage coursing throughout his body when he tore that man apart, before his senses slowly came back and he realized what he had done. The haunted memory kept playing over and over again for over the past two days, ever since Dean convinced him to run away and drove to South Dakota to Bobby's house. He hadn't spoken much in his self-induced trauma, as he was laying wearily on a cot in the iron-walled panic room courtesy of his 'uncle's' paranoia._

_But he was waiting in his own paranoia.... He knows that his father would find out where they are and track them down here. That is, if he hadn't drank himself into a stupor as usual. Sam barely blinked when he heard the heavy latches and bolts being unlocked before the door opened with a loud slow creak._

_".... Morning, Sammy, rise and shine," muttered Dean as he stepped inside. With his bangs swept aside, Sam glanced to see his older brother dragging a spare chair up to the cot and sat down. "Here.... Today's breakfast is a shitty egg sandwich with a side of blood," he nodded at the tray of food in his hands._

_".... Cat, as usual?" mumbled Sam with a slight grimace._

_"Yeah, Tom with a little bit of Jerry mixed in, it's getting a bit harder to find strays in this town," he sighed tiredly. Slowly, Sam sat up and looked at the viscous dark red liquid in the coffee mug. He didn't have the stomach to drink human blood at the moment, as he picked up the mug and drank it._

_The blood tasted lukewarm and rather bitter, but it was what he wanted, gulping down the last of the liquid before letting out a deep sigh. ".... You're feeling better now, Sammy?" muttered Dean._

_"Somewhat...." he nodded but his head was hung with the shallow depression over him. "You don't have to stay up with me, Dean. I'm not going anywhere, or dare to hurt myself--"_

_"Hey, you were the one who put yourself on this half-assed suicide watch," grumbled Dean. "Once this is all blown over, then we can relax...." Sam's puppy-dog eyes glanced at him before he looked away, the disturbing images kept popping up in his mind as he then heard his brother breathing deeply. ".... Y'know, Bobby's going through his books, about a dozen times, seeing if he had missed something--"_

_"Dean.... if someone had written a vamp psychology textbook, Bobby would've told us the minute we got here," mumbled Sam._

_"Sam, he's trying. Fuck, we're all trying," he scoffed, though his tone was just as weary as Sam's. "To be honest, I didn't even expect you to.... do that. But I'm not blaming you for it, kid. You probably wouldn't have known that your so-called friend had killed her if you hadn't went by his place that night...."_

_"Then it can't be a psychological thing, I probably only reacted out grief and anger," he shook his head and Dean huffed._

_"Sammy.... Dad wanted you to **die** for a reason, he knew specifically that you would kill a human one day...." he muttered, looking at him with worried eyes. "He knows that there's something wrong with you in that brain of yours. I mean, the constant fights between you and Dad, him forcing me to check up on you when you decided to go to college. Not that I was pissed about it, I really did wanna visit you every month.... I just thought he was wrong about you having some kind of condition. I mean, you were happy and everything at Stanford."_

_"Yeah..."_

_"But then why....? I don't get it, why would Dad say such a thing?" he frowned bitterly. "He must know something.... Maybe there was a reason why we go around the country, that we rarely socialize with our own kind for crying out loud."_

_"Dean, you're just assuming--"_

_"And another thing, Sam.... We're purebloods, yet we don't have any money or inheritance or any other rich shit like the others," frowned Dean. "Fuck, we never had any decent home aside from staying with Bobby for months at a time, for most of our lives. I may be a dropout, but I picked up things. This can't be right, The way we were living wasn't right...."_

_"I get that, Dean, that's why I wanted to get away from that.... But now that dream I wanted, of having a normal happy life, that's gone forever," Sam muttered solemnly._

_"But...." Dean couldn't argue to say otherwise, he couldn't tell him to buck up and move on. The death of his girlfriend and the cause of it was nothing short of a cruel deja vu. He himself still had a hard time with the last bit of memory of seeing their mother for the final time. Of her placing his infant brother into his arms and telling her to run out of the burning house. All he could remember from his four-year-old self was the heat and the smoke.... and the sickening smell of their mother's blood on her nightgown._

_A firm knock on the metal door caught the brothers' attentions, before a middle-aged man with a dirty trucker hat stepped in with a tattered opened book and some files in his arm. His bushy brown whiskers ruffled with a grim frown when he glanced at the two before he walked up to the cot. "Morning, Sam...." he grunted._

_"Hey, Bobby...." nodded Sam._

_"What's that you got there, Bobby?" asked Dean._

_"Well-- scoot over, boy.... I think I might got something here, more than just that one incident you had done, Sam...." muttered as he sat down on the cot._

_"Wh-what....? Are you serious, Bobby?" Sam frowned in slight disbelief._

_"So there is something, huh?" frowned Dean. "Then lay it on us.... Is there really something wrong with Sammy, like Dad says, Bobby?"_

_"To be frank, boys, I'm kinda hoping that I might be wrong on this," he said and the brothers looked at him with confusion._

_"What're you talking about? How can you think that you're wrong?" Dean questioned the man. Bobby sighed deeply before handing him a few yellowed pages, and the vampire looked down on it. "Wha-- Is this a family tree or something?"_

_"Yeah. It's your tree, Dean.... mostly on the Winchester side," he pointed out._

_"Huh....?" "Wait, we got one on Dad's side?" questioned Sam. "We only knew about Mom's, the Campbells, right?"_

_"Yeah, well, almost every pureblood got a recorded family tree," grunted Bobby, pointing out the linear diagram in Dean's hands. "To prove that their bloodline is untainted and such, they keep to themselves away from the mixbloods and halfbloods by having these records. I managed to get these from your drunk father a while back, he thought it'd make a good scrapbook when either of you have brats of your own one day."_

_"So.... our old man got the family tree, with a couple of broken branches on it," snorted Dean as he glanced down on it. But he blinked when he looked at the lines. It was obviously old, since it stopped at their father.... Johnathan Winchester. An only child to their paternal grandparents. "..... Henry Winchester? Born.... 1822, died 1958?" he muttered, and Sam blinked at that._

_"That's our grandfather?" he questioned. "Was.... Dude's been dead since **American Bandstand** was still around then," he sighed before glancing at the name of their grandmother. "But who is this....? Abaddon.... Knight, that's our grandmother?"_

_"Says the records, but look closely at the date of her death, boy," nodded Bobby. Dean raised an eyebrow at him but looked down._

_".... The fuck?"_

_"What, Dean?" muttered Sam._

_"She died nearly two decades after Henry's death, like.... a couple of years before I was even born," he scoffed softly in disbelief, giving the papers to his younger brother. Sam looked over the diagram and it was true with their grandmother. **'Abaddon Josie Knight-- born 1863, died 1977.'** Despite of his gloomy deposition, Sam felt a tad baffled about this record._

_"Wasn't this....? Weren't Mom and Dad married around that time?" he questioned. "Did this.... grandmother of ours know about Mom at all?"_

_"Sorry, but I doubt it," muttered Bobby with a shake of his head._

_"What do you mean...?"_

_"Well.... There's something you should know more on your family history, or what's left of it...." he grunted, showing them the opened book. "I managed to dig up her part-- the Knight family-- and trust me, it was truly hard to find it since much of the records had been destroyed."_

_"What, destroyed? questioned Dean, sensing the uneasiness in the man's tone. "Like.... on purpose?"_

_"Obviously. Seems that the other purebloods wiped out their existence saved for your granny, and I think I know why. Here, Dean, take a look at this...." Bobby gave him the book, making Dean frown uncomfortably. The words on the pages were slightly faded due to the tattering age of the book, but he skimmed them over. Only to have his green-gold eyes widen in shock and disbelief, as he gasped._

_"Wh-what is it, Dean....?" Sam frowned but his older brother's grimace seemed to answer that as he looked at Bobby._

_"What kinda fucked up shit is this....?" he gasped._

_"Believe me.... I was pretty disturbed when I found out, Dean...." he muttered grimly._

_"I just.... I just can't believe this.... Is this why our Dad was freaking out about our family, about Sammy....?!" gasped Dean._

_"What?! Dean, what is there on the book....?!" pressed Sam, grasping at his knee and shaking it. "Dean....! Dean, what is it....?! Dean....!"_

"Dean...."

The pupils in Dean's eyes dilated under the same stale white light as he blinked, vaguely aware of Sam shaking his knee to get his attention. Apparently, he hadn't heard the question he was asked, as he noticed two pairs of narrowed eyes on him. Sitting across the mahogany conference table, the brothers was met with the other purebloods, with only the Alighieri brothers present.

The only significant one that wasn't here, in Dean's mind, was Lilith. The vicious blonde beauty was the one who had taken delight of torturing him while not getting her own hands dirty about it. She had it out for him from the day they were captured; maybe it wasn't such a good idea to curse her out as well as the others back then. That earned him a couple of hooks across the face and a knee to the gut, all the while chained to a chair. And now he felt chained down at the moment, as he glared at the black-haired man.

Even though he was the older brother, Michael appeared younger than Lucifer as a man in his late twenties, with piercing ice-blue eyes that glared back. He had that CEO air about him, dressed in a charcoal black business suit that possibly cost a lot more than Dean's vintage car. He was handsome, in the human world he would be considered a very attractive bachelor. But to Dean, he was about as ugly as his devilish brother in his loathing opinion, as he felt a low growl rumbling in his chest.

".... What?" he frowned, not backing down from Michael's indignant glare on him.

"I asked.... how are you faring with your followers so far, since the only available blood bank in your territory is still in shambles, Mr. Winchester?" Michael questioned with absolute authority in his voice.

".... They're doing just fine, sipping on animals here and there, not much human victims lately," he answered, his rumbling tone biting out with disregard. "It's not like they'll starve to death. They're mixbloods.... they can substitute with human food for a while since they had ancestors who were once human, am I right about that?"

"They still need to consume blood in one way or another, Winchester, and plenty of them rely on the one operation you can't seem to maintain properly," frowned Michael as he clasped his fingers together.

"Well, you know that I suck on running a business that's not exactly my department so it can't be all my fault," he retorted evenly, ignoring the side-glare from his younger brother.

"Ugh, I told you that we should've made Sammy the leader, Mikey--" sighed Lucifer.

"Your opinion doesn't voice for the rest of us, Nicholas," Michael coldly chastised his brother who was sitting to his right but Lucifer merely rolled his eyes. "Dean Winchester is only compatible because he doesn't possess the mental disorder that could expose us by the amounts of human deaths," he added, before briefly glancing at Sam. "Making _him_ as a leader could only cause harm to our kind. It's insulting enough that they even exist at the moment, with their bloodline tainted with such imperfection."

"Well, guess that answers your question, doesn't it, seeing that I couldn't look over something as simple as the blood bank," scoffed Dean.

"Dean--"

"But he's right, isn't he....?" Dean cut Sam off as he glanced at him with narrowed eyes. "It's not like we're the fucking Rockefellers. Instead, we're just the parallel of the Kennedys, with anyone related to us always ends up dead. Isn't that right, Sammy?" Sam didn't answer. He gulped anxiously and glanced down, avoiding to have the attention on him. Flashes of his tormented screams and skin scorching from silver chains flickered in his mind, as he clenched his left hand.

\"I wouldn't talk back if I were in your position, Winchester...." muttered Michael with a low tone. "Your freedom's nothing but a leash around you and your brother. We could take you back in at this very moment if we want to."

"But you can't, can you....? Not without our little deal, per se....?" frowned Dean, with his green-gold eyes glowing in a challenging manner. Even in his stern face, Michael raised an eyebrow just slightly in consideration.

".... You found it, haven't you?"

"If we had, what good would it do for you anyway?" he questioned.

"Dean, please...." implored Sam, looking at his older brother.

"What, Sam? We agreed to find this shit, but for what? They never exactly explained it to us, and to top it off, we're not benefitting from it," he frowned at him. "I dunno know about you, but do you ever stop to think that we're getting short end of the fucking stick over this?"

"But you are benefitting from it, Dean," grinned Lucifer, catching his attention. "Your benefit is not being dead, and that's it. That's good enough, right?"

"No--"

"Yes.... Y-yes, it is, for the moment," Sam answered immediately, head still bowed to avoid eye contact. "But.... what my brother is saying is that we're doing this assignment for you. We're purebloods like you, but if we're going to keep on researching for even the smallest lead for this, we would need some sort of a grant alongside the money for the blood bank. It's just a small request but--"

"But nothing. We'll just give you the money for the blood bank and nothing more," Michael muttered dismissively and Sam stiffened at that.

"It's.... it's hard to gather the resources if we don't have the finances--"

"That isn't exactly _our_ problem, Winchester. You agreed to this deal, therefore you find a way to supplement your own budget," the much older vampire pointed out. "If you cannot manage that on your own, then the deal will be void and you'll return to us. Is that clear?"

His dismissive authoritative tone was making Dean's blood boil. Sam was being the reasonable one in this so-called meeting, yet they were treating him as less than dirt. He was the one who agreed to the deal but them picking on his little brother was nothing but a good amusement to the elite purebloods. "Is that all you have to discuss, or do you still wish to snap your jaws at us?" he questioned.

"Yeah, Buttercup, I got something else to ask...." Dean scoffed spitefully, narrowing his eyes at him. "If we find this thing you asked for.... does this guarantee our lives? That me and Sammy could walk away scot-free, haul ass to Tiajuana without you assholes on our tails?"

"With such an attitude like that, I find it.... hard to consider," sniffed Michael, though Lucifer chuckled a bit.

"Come on, Mikey, they could still be of some use after that deal is done," he shrugged.

"May I remind you that they're the reason why the public believed there was a serial killer roaming around the country for the past few years," he frowned at him. "Have you forgotten about that, Nicholas?"

"At least the humans were dumb enough to believe so--"

"Quiet. You yourself were nearly at fault when you didn't bother to notify me the moment they were in Detroit," he castigated.

"So? That city's going to shit anyway, that's why it was easy to capture them there when their guards were down," shrugged the blonde vampire with a slight frown. "I did predict it, though.... that their fun time would end in Detroit. They were dumb enough to think we wouldn't notice them there. Isn't that right, guys? Sammy?" he nodded at the brothers. Dean responded with a subtle low growl but Sam frowned apprehensively as he cleared his throat.

"If you still want us to be some kind of use, that's fine...." the tall vampire muttered in resignation. "But if not, then we'll find a way to live without causing any trouble for the rest of the purebloods."

"Oh Sammy, you're only just saying that so we don't have to kill you," replied Lucifer with a slight grin.

"I believe my brother is right about that, for once...." said Michael, eyeing at Sam then at Dean, who was practically stabbing him in his mind. "If we find some more usage for you, then your lives are virtually on probation, so to speak. But if we don't.... then your brother might have to pay the price if and when he steps out of line. Do you understand that, Dean Winchester?"

"I hear you loud and clear.... That' s why I'm not gonna let you touch my brother," Dean growled, his hands that were on the table curled into knuckle-cracking fists. "We already went through the shit of what you asshats had done to us once, so don't think threatening us will make us behave like little schoolboys, you got that?"

"Honestly, I don't.... I can tell that he's downright afraid of being imprisoned here once again," he debated. "Locked away in a small dark cell, being deprived of blood day in and day out. Just the two of us being present is already making him fearful.... Imagine if it had been the rest of us right now. Your brother would've have a psychotic breakdown with tears down his face, probably--"

"No, Dean! Stop!" Sam yelled out in surprise the instant Dean stood up in an attempt to leap across the table. The clawed fingers barely even reached halfway before the taller vampire immediately held him back, gritting when his brother struggled against his strength. "Please, control yourself, Dean....!"

"You smug-faced assholes....! I'll fucking rip your face off, you hear that?!" snarled Dean, baring his fangs at the stoic man. Lucifer, however, laughed in amusement with his head tilted back.

"This is rich! I knew Dean wouldn't sit still for long! Guess you own me five bucks, bro!" he chuckled.

"Nicholas, please. Like I need any more idiocy for one night," frowned Michael as he stood up, ignoring the growling vampire. "I believe that concludes our meeting, Winchesters.... I'll send a messenger with the check in a day or two, any one of you can procure it. And see to it that you will be on your best behavior when it comes. I don't need any of my own followers eaten by the likes of you scoundrels...."

"You son of a bitch...." Dean growled lowly. If he wasn't locked in a full nelson by Sam, he would dare to take him down at this moment.

"Dean, calm the fuck down...." gritted Sam. "Listen, I'm sorry for my brother's actions but--"

"Save it," Michael cut off his apology. "Seems like the contamination of your bloodline affects your brother differently from you. But at least he doesn't seem to worry about us locking him away forever, am I right?"

"That's right, buddy, I'm not afraid of you," growled Dean. His narrowed glowing eyes glared at the man with so much hatred. He didn't care if he was a public figure to the human world with a net worth estimated at nearly half a billion dollars. To him.... he was nothing more than a bureaucratic tyrant who only saw them as annoying little ants. "We'll take your shitty money for the sake of our state. But both you and your brother can kiss my freckled ass.... You better hope that you don't see us again, Buttercup."

"With the way you're presenting yourself as a pureblood, we may have to.... Let's go, Nicholas," Michael frowned as he walked away.

"Huh? But I wanna catch up with my best buddy Sammy," Lucifer fake-pouted.

"Now....!" he ordered, leaving the room through the back door. The blond-haired vampire sighed and got up. But he glanced at Dean-- still in Sam's hold, and smirked humorously as he crossed his arms.

"Well.... At least Mikey was in a good enough mood throughout this whole meeting," he grinned. "If he wasn't, this whole place would've been packed with our vampiric security squad. You wouldn't even make two steps before getting tased, bro, get it?"

"Fuck you," spat Dean.

"Aww, don't take it out on me, Dean," he smirked as he turned to leave. "You're not the one who's shaking in his boots at this moment.... Nighty-night...."

Dean nearly faltered by his words then it hit him, now that he and his brother were left alone. His growls interrupted by Sam's shaky breathing, and his anger mostly dissipated as he looked at him. The widened eyes were staring off elsewhere, unfocused. He was shrinking back into his wall, his hold on his older brother loosened and Dean got out of his arms.

"S-Sam.... Sammy, stay with me, I'm right here...." he muttered, patting him on the cheek.

"Uhh.... Ah, Dean, wha....?" Sam shook out of his stupor, looking around as if the other purebloods were still around. "What.... happened?"

"Nothing, Sam.... They'll give us the money for the blood bank, remember?" he frowned. Sam blinked at that, but he remembered, frowning dismally as he shook his head.

"You fucking asshole...." he scoffed.

"What?"

"I swear.... you only care about yourself sometimes, Dean," he grimaced, not giving him a backward glance as he pushed open the heavy doors.

"W-wait a minute, Sam--" Dean frowned as he followed after him.

"No, Dean.... They were right about me, and yet you provoked them anyway," he scoffed. "It's only Nicholas and Michael this time. But the rest of them were here...."

"Damn it, Sam...." growled Dean, jogging down the hallway to keep up his quick stride. "What good would it do to be treated like dog shit by the likes of them? No-- as a matter of fact, dog shit are treated better than us anyway--"

"Because our lives are on the line here-- _my life_ , Dean," he scowled at him. "It's like you only think about yourself when it comes to going against them. And it's not fair to me at all." He brisked past the elevators, but Dean caught up to him in time to grasp at his shoulder.

"Sammy--"

"Just don't.... okay?" he growled lowly, shrugging off his hand. "Don't act so fucking concerned about me now, you certainly didn't last night."

"Tch, must you act bitchy now?" scoffed Dean. Sam growled but said nothing as they went into the side staircase. ".... Is it because you haven't drank enough blood today, is that it? I'll give you some when we get back to that shitty motel--"

"No."

Dean almost stumbled in his steps and stared at his younger brother in surprise. Sam was turning down his own blood....? All because of his attitude earlier? He was lagging behind him down the stairs, his speed made him catch up in time to see the tall vampire leaving out of the building. "Damn it.... Sam, wait up....!"

But Sam was moving ahead for the next few blocks, until he turned around the corner. By the time Dean reached there, he was gone, making him scoff in disbelief.

"Fuck it...." he scowled, before disappearing in a blur. In under a minute, he found the dark lot. His glowing eyes saw Sam already putting Castiel in the back seat of the Impala, behind the driver's seat. He frowned. He was the only one with the keys-- unless Sam somehow swiped his pocket without him knowing earlier. "Shit...."

".... Let's go, he can't survive on protein bars all night long," he muttered bitterly, taking the wheel as he started the ignition.

"Tch, you can take it out on me, fine. But leave my baby outta this," scoffed Dean as he moved to sit in the passenger seat. He glanced just briefly over his shoulder and frowned. Castiel was somewhat conscious albeit still blindfolded, but he shuddered with apprehension, as if he could sense the tension between the brothers. "I just wanna get outta this hellhole as soon as possible, so no pit stop until we get to the other town...."

"Whatever, Dean...." huffed Sam, driving off the lot with more restrain with the gas pedal than his brother as he twisted and turned through the streets. After that, nobody was talking, and Castiel felt alarmed about it. Whatever happened at this meeting of theirs, they were irritated about it. Feeling the sways and the bumps in the car, he wrung his hands together and inhaled deeply. The fear was seeping back out even though he didn't wish to be at this moment. They would know and would be even more irritated, probably at him this time.

".... While we're on the subject of you acting like vindictive asshole, is there anything else you want to tell me....? Involving Cas, by any chance?" questioned Sam, breaking the ice.

"Well, maybe if you change your fucking attitude, I might tell you," growled Dean and Sam scoffed in instant anger.

"Again, you're doing it...." he growled back. "Don't you remember the last time you've pushed me away....? Were you happy about that then....? Because I was certainly having a grand old time before I got bored and called you up. It's like you want Dad's opinions on me to come true. Tch... this is one fucked up family we got, huh, Dean?"

The only response from his embittered rant was simple scoff from Dean. He had no reason to say anything at all now, as he glared ahead. He curled his lips back at the clean scent of Castiel, mingling with the fear that was coming out of him. He then glared out of the side window, as the Impala drove into the highway.

He couldn't get the image out of his mind.... Seeing the anger and terror in his eyes, with so much hatred against him. Castiel truly hated him now, even though Dean proved to him of what he was. But he was a monster after all, wasn't he....?

".... I'm so sorry...." Sam muttered quietly, letting out a guilty sigh.

"Tch, no need to apologize to me--" grumbled Dean.

"I wasn't talking to _you_...." he frowned at him and his brother blinked at that. Right.... Sam was always the caretaker, the good guy. But Castiel was just as afraid of the tall vampire, shuddering as he sniffled softly.

"It's... it's okay...." he mumbled timidly.

"I really am sorry, Castiel," sighed Sam with an assuring nod. But the priest said nothing, still wary of the brothers. The one who had killed people, the other who had violated him. There was no good way he could feel about this. That he was nothing but a burden to them. Dean scoffed in annoyance, his jaw muscles flexing as he extended then retracted his fangs.

"After we feed him some human kibbles, I'll be catching a dinner of my own...." he grumbled.

"Fine by me...." huffed Sam.

"Yeah, keep it up with that bitchy attitude of yours...." he snorted.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Flinching out of another fretful sleep, Castiel blinked.... realizing that he wasn't blindfolded anymore when he touched his face. He didn't even remember falling asleep. The last thing he had done was that he was eaten takeout soup and juice given by Sam at the motel. Dean wasn't there, as he was out of the car the moment they went back into town. But after that, nothing.

The anemia was hitting him hard if he had passed out like that. And now.... he blinked in realization that he was in the small garage by the cabin. They were back in Montana. ".... Castiel....?" He shuddered a bit when he heard his name, before noticing Sam crouching in front of him with concern etched in his face. "You okay....?" he muttered cautiously.

".... I, um...." Castiel wasn't sure what to say. He could still feel the pain in his leg, but not wanting to rub over it. But Sam could sense his hesitation and sighed, standing up and stepping back to give him space.

"Come on, the injury should be a bit better now," muttered the tall vampire. Tired blue eyes glanced at him with tentativeness, before Castiel wiggled out of the car and stood up, his lips tightened with grimace when the nerves acted up. He looked around, realizing that it was daytime even though it was a dark cloudy day.

Sam was standing at about eight paces away from him, by the opening. He appeared awkward and uncomfortable in his presence, and the priest could understand that. Yet at the same time, he was still wary of being around him. It wasn't the same as before, to able to speak to him so easily since he was a very considerate person. The fear Dean put in his head was true.... that no matter how many times Sam tried to do good deeds, the thought of him destroying lives was much too hard to ignore.

Taking a deep breath, he hobbled out of the garage without the vampire's help, though Sam was right behind him as they went up to the opened door of the cabin. He didn't see Dean anywhere in the living room when he stepped in, wondering if he was left alone with Sam once again. ".... Got your stuff. Are you hungry or anything?" Sam asked, when he walked past him for the kitchen with the bottles of vitamins in his hands.

"....." Again, Castiel didn't answer. Not that he wasn't hungry, but he simply couldn't speak to him as before, as he glanced away apprehensively.

".... Okay.... I'll be upstairs if you need me.... or don't," Sam muttered with a sigh as he moved for the stairs. His defeated weary tone mentally kicked Castiel in the gut and he frowned. He didn't wish to act like this, it wasn't like him to turn away anyone who was hurt. He was a priest and to do that to Sam was like turning his back on his beliefs.

"I.... I'm sorry...." he muttered as he glanced at him just when he was going upstairs. Sam paused and glanced back. The corners of his lips barely curled into a sad smile as he nodded.

"It's okay, Cas.... I'll be fine...." he sighed, resuming up the stairs. He didn't blame Castiel for acting like this toward him. He was used to the terrible gaze on him for years but each time felt like new. As he reached the top landing, he could smell the dried blood through Dean's closed door. It made him grimace, his brother didn't bother to wash the bedsheets the instant they got home. On the drive back to Montana, Dean shut down once again when they left Cicero before dawn.

He insisted on driving the whole way, seeing that he was still angry at Sam. That didn't make any sense at all, since the older brother's attitude was the one that started it in the first place. He huffed, before sniffing the air again. More of Castiel's blood was in the bathroom, the discarded clothes were left in there all this time through their haste for Chicago. It was irritating, there was no way he could ignore it even though he was tired and wanted to sleep.

"Damn it...." He stepped into the bathroom and flipped on the light switch, blinking his sensitive eyes to adjust. He looked to notice the small bundle of clothing piled against the tub. He should make a quick trip to the laundry during this weekend, as he crouched down to pick them up. But as he did so, his fingers grasped at what felt like shredded pieces of cotton fabric.

His eyes narrowed instantly in alarm. Something wasn't right here....

Slowly, Sam pulled away the shirt from the pile, seeing the shorts rolled up in a loose bundle. The deep brown coloring of old blood was stained on the dull grey article, on the left leg. As he picked it up, his hazel-green eyes widened at what he saw. The priest's underwear.... it was torn apart, with pieces of the fabric fell out of the shorts.

"The fuck....?" he gasped softly. Was this.... was this the reason why Castiel was so traumatized, so flighty at the mere of being touched....? And Dean.... did he do something to him, something like....? No.... Dean was a jerk, a spiteful bully who doesn't watch his mouth half the time but he meant well. But.... to sexually humiliate Castiel, that was beyond his personality. There was just no way.... He wanted to deny that his brother wouldn't have done such a thing. But Dean's disgusting attitude was far different than before, and the taller vampire should have been more assertive about it.

Then, he was afraid of lashing out in front of Castiel. But now he can confront him about what had happened, as he picked up the clothes and stepped out of the bathroom. He could care less about invading Dean's privacy at the moment, when he then opened the bedroom door and stormed right in.

Dean didn't acknowledge his presence, nor did he hear him slamming the door shut, since he was lying on his bed with the rock music in his headphones on full blast and his eyes closed. In the dark room, Sam's eyes glowed heatedly as he growled. The urge to punch him was evident but instead he took his anger out on something else, walking up to the night stand where the MP3 player was and grabbed for it.

Almost instantly, Dean's eyes opened to see his brother crushed his device in his large hand with ease, shutting off his remedial entertainment. "What the fuck are you doing, Sam....?!" he growled as he ripped off his headphones and sat up. But he didn't have time to stand when the smell of Castiel's blood was more evident the instant Sam thrust the priest's soiled clothing in his face.

"You know why, Dean...." Sam growled lowly, his voice tinged with disbelief and anger. Dean glared at the clothes then at his brother, letting out a scoff as he then looked away. "..... Seriously? You're shutting away on me, Dean, on something like _this_?" he growled.

"...."

"Wow, wow.... really?" Sam scoffed in intense irritation, his fangs coming out. "You're not gonna talk about this at all....? That you practically molested Cas after taking his blood?" Dean said nothing, his breathing coming out in deep angry growls with his body tensed up defensively. ".... Did you.... dare to fuck him, is that why he's scared--"

"You don't know what the fuck you're saying....!" he snarled at him, standing up finally as he bared his fangs at him.

"Did you force yourself on him, yes or no?" he growled.

"Fuck you....!" gritted Dean, shoving at his hard chest. But Sam barely stumbled back but he stood his ground as he narrowed his eyes.

"You have done a terrible thing.... You have wronged Cas, and there is no way that you can take it back...." he muttered lowly. "That's probably why he hates you now, that he wishes you dead. Yet I don't blame him for it...."

"Oh, really....? Don't see how me sucking off his dick is worse than committing first-degree murders...." growled Dean, and Sam growled back.

"He's a priest--"

"So the fuck what...? He's a _human_ , he's nothing but a breathing meal-on-a-go for me," he snarled lowly. "He is not of your concerns, Sam, so back the fuck off."

"No way, Dean. This isn't like you--"

"So the fuck what?"

"You're acting like them, you're becoming like those purebloods who treat the humans like cattles....!" argued Sam, roughly grabbing him by the front of his shirt.. "Is that what you want, to become the one thing you loathe, like Nicholas or even Michael? Is that how you want Cas to see you, as a fucking monster who abuses people....?"

"That's what we are, aren't we....?" growled Dean, huffing through his nostrils. "We're worse than monsters.... we're better off dead, according to those fuckers, even the mixbloods working for them had said that. I just thought we'd show that goody two-shoes bitch what we're capable of--"

Dean didn't have a chance to stop his slightly stronger brother from tossing him across the messy bed, his body colliding against the wooden dresser with the old magazines toppling over him. He snarled and got to his feet as quickly as it happened. Sam snapped back with his fangs out, but his glowing eyes weren't filled with anger anymore. The taller vampire scoffed and shook his head, his expression warped with so much disappointment.

"Why.... why are we even here, what's the fucking point....?" he scoffed abysmally. "You've been getting worse and worse, you're not changing your attitude by the slightest since we've been here...."

"So what....?" huffed Dean.

"So what? So what....? That's all you got to say about this....?" he scoffed, looking at his brother in bewilderment. "You violated Cas against his will, Dean....! Out of all people, my own brother-- the one whom I've looked up to since as long as I can remember.... had done something so disgusting and so horrible! I can't even look at you the same way as before, I just.... can't...." His voice trailed off with a heavyhearted scoff as he glanced away, his footsteps heavy as he walked for the door. "No respect for you, Dean...." Sam muttered in a grieving tone.

"Any respect I had for you, it's gone, possibly for good...."

"....." Dean just stood there, his tensed glowing eyes watched his little brother opening the door and stepping out, leaving him alone in the darkness after the door was closed. He was barely aware that his breathing was restrained even though he was growling. His fists shook, aching to punch something, to take out his anger at anything at all.

But.... he couldn't move, he couldn't physically react the way he wanted to. It was like his body was frozen without his knowledge, but he got it. Sam.... his only family, had just turned his back on him. A dark bitter irony of what he had done to him some years back. Only this time, they would be in each other's presence, but now he was nothing to his brother's eyes. All because of Castiel....

His Adam's apple throbbed as he swallowed dryly. He was disowned by the one person he had saved, it was hitting him slowly in his mind and it was making his chest hurt. Why, though....? Why does he feel this ache in his heart, because of Sam shunning him away? Or because of Castiel being terrified of him....? Without thinking much of it, his body willed itself to the bed.

Dean laid down on his stomach, the dead smell of the priest's blood was so close to his nose and he wanted to ignore the scent. Castiel was not the same guy as the first time he had met him. His unique scent wasn't fun anymore, as all he could smell now was the fear-induced one. It was nothing but abhorrence now, against that human and the purebloods and now his brother's shredded respect for him. The glow wasn't going away in his green-gold eyes as he turned his head to the side and just stared at the desk.

The one picture out of the few, he could see it in a peripheral view but it was there. When the last time he was truly happy....? To feel that same joy that he had when he was younger...? He scoffed at that in utter contempt. Happiness wasn't there anymore. His mother was dead, his father was dead, and Sam was on his way to the afterlife as well. As for Dean.... if he had the chance, he would rather die than being a dog for those purebloods but only took that foolish deal to keep Sam alive.

Now he wondered if he had made the right decision back then, just like how he decided not to kill the only person he had left. All of this.... It was nothing but a big cruel joke being played on him, as he let out a short but humorless chuckle. "I fucking swear.... it's like you hate me specifically...." he mumbled, glaring up at the ceiling. "I can't catch a break.... For once, I wish I could die right about now, so I could kick your ass right outta the pearly gates. Then again.... I might hafta crawl outta Hell first in order to do that...."

Breathing with despise, he buried his head into a pillow. He was alone.... In this cabin with a human and his brother, he only felt lonliness and it ached his heart. And it was annoying him rather feeling actually heartbroken. "Fuck you.... Fuck Cas, fuck everybody..... I hate this shit so much...."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The low rumbling of thunder was hanging over the woods, it had been going on and off all night long, following into morning. The stormy weather outside seemed to match the heavy tension inside the cabin, as Castiel was planted right on the couch, still as stone in the quiet living room. The air in here was too much to bear yet he couldn't voice his opinion. He knew what he heard last night, that the brothers were fighting again, and it was about him like before. But he hadn't seen either of them since they came back.

Not only that.... Today was Sunday. He was afraid of that.... He didn't want to be left alone with Dean, he couldn't be alone, as he stared ahead at the the blank television set with his arms around his midsection. He wasn't cold but he was shuddering, his heartbeats thumping at the thought of Dean doing that to him again. Or maybe much worse. He hunched over as he took a deep breath but it was pointless.

Now he wondered..... what he had done to deserve this, when he had done nothing but good throughout his entire life. As much as he was a devout Catholic, he wasn't ignorant. As realistic as he could be, he wasn't sure that everything here was a test of faith. It felt like bad luck that he had started with the good deed in the first place, of helping Dean with his leg injury. That felt like a distant memory now.... of seeing his charming sincere smile and humorous personality.

He flinched out of his thoughts when he heard movements upstairs. He himself hadn't moved much since waking up this morning, so he wasn't sure who was moving about as he then heard the door opening. ".... All right, thank you, I'll be there shortly...."

It was Sam, opening another door then walking around again after closing it seconds later. He was unusually awake right now-- barely ten in the morning for a vampire. But it sounded like he must get to somewhere, as he tiredly tromped down the stairs. Castiel glanced over the couch and almost immediately sensed the weariness from him as he noticed the brooding expression on his face.

Carrying his jacket and laptop bag, Sam noticed him, bags just beginning to form under his eyes from the lack of sleep as he put on a deeply grim frown. ".... Are you okay, Castiel....?" he muttered. His tone careful and apprehensive as he looked at him. But it was the way he was looking at him that Castiel noticed and frowned dreadfully. He found out.... That was the fight was about last night, as the priest cautiously stood up.

"So you know...." he mumbled, taking a step back. But Sam was just as guarded, not wanting to frighten him as he slowly put on his jacket.

"I.... I have to go somewhere.... " he muttered carefully. "The meeting that we went to.... it was to fund the blood bank for the rest of the vampires in Montana.... I have to go to collect the money then go a few counties over to discuss over the finances. I.... don't wish to leave you here, Castiel, but...."

"Then.... why are you....?" Castiel questioned softly. His heart was beating faster now, his fear was coming true but Sam looked away from the widened blue eyes on him.

"I can't.... make myself break the rules the others put on us. On me, specifically...." he muttered. "If.... _he_ doesn't want to do his job properly, then I have to pick up the slacks so we won't get into trouble."

"He....?" he questioned before his mind immediately realized what the tall vampire referring to. Dean didn't want to do his job as this vampire leader. Maybe.... only because he was waiting until nightfall to hurt him again, to make him suffer. He looked at Sam, who was grasping the jingling car keys in his hand as he moved for the door.

"Take... take me, please," he blurted out without thinking. He shouldn't really be doing this, asking someone like Sam. But even as a some sort of a killer, he seemed safer to be around than staying with Dean. Sam paused and glanced at him in surprise by his request.

But the surprise was quickly replaced by regret and discomfort, as he reluctantly shook his head. "I can't.... You're considered missing, and the others cannot know that you're a kidnapped priest. As much as I want to--"

"I-I won't say anything, I'll stay right by you, just take me with you please...." he pleaded, walking around the couch to go up to him. "Cas, I'm sorry but--"

"You can't leave me here with him, Sam....!" he gasped, the fear rising up in his throat like bile as he shuddered. "He'll try to do it again, I just know it....!"

"Then I'll tear him a new one when I get back...." he frowned. "I'll find a way to get you back to your home. But right now, I must go...." But Castiel wasn't sure to believe that. He took a step back, his trust for Sam was breaking down when he felt the salty tears pricking behind his eyes. Nobody can help him, they were nothing but monsters. That was what they were....

"Don't leave me, Sam...." sniffled the priest. "If you do.... then you're just as terrible as your brother...." His words seemingly affected Sam, who frowned sadly at that.

"I know.... I'm so sorry...." he muttered bitterly, moving to open the door. Castiel watched him walking out without looking back. Sam didn't want to see him with tears in his eyes as he then closed and locked the door. The sound of it was loud and vibrating in the empty room, before Castiel sniffed in a mix of fear and anger. Dean had hurt him, and Sam had just turned his back on him. He hated it so much, as tears trickled down his cheeks.

Why was this still happening to him? Why does it feel like God had forsaken him....? He scoffed tearfully, his throat tightened up in an ache to sob out but he couldn't. He wanted to believe that he would be saved from here, he had hoped that as a priest.... But what was the point of all of this, being a hostage to those who consumed blood....?

"H-how is this a test, God....?" he mumbled, going back to the couch. He sniffled and raised his knees close to his chest. "What have I done wrong to endure this punishment upon me....? Please, God, tell me what I must do about this. What could I do....?" A throbbing headache brought up, as more burning tears leaked out of his tightly shut eyes. "I'm not sure.... how can I cope with this.... This had never happened to me. Not like this, so please.... give me a sign or something..."

Another bout of sleepiness was coming back. But he didn't wish to go back to sleep, not with Dean upstairs in his room. He was already afraid that his praying would be heard by that vampire. But nothing was rattling, so he was all alone in his personal prison. Maybe.... he could dare to escape from this cabin, but that crazy idea was immediately dashed and he let out a wet cough. Even in the rain, Dean wouldn't hesitate to hunt him down. And then he would punish him for doing such a thing.

"P-please, God--"

"Shut the fuck up....!"

Castiel was startled out of sheer fright from the sudden shout. So Dean was listening all this time.... and it made the priest even more afraid. He might have even heard him begging Sam to take him away from the cabin. He bit his bottom lip to hold in the bubbling sob before he wiped away his flowing tears. Now he feared of more than being drained and groped....

It wasn't the first time that they had killed someone, so why wouldn't they with him....?

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

This hunger..... it hadn't been this intense since Dean was imprisoned over two years ago. Unlike Sam, when he was only fed rotten blood, he was tossed live rats by his tormentors. It was humiliating to having to catch the disgusting street pests as far as the silver-alloyed chain could allow him in the dirty cell. He was so hungry then, only allowed to feed on two at a time if he was able to get them. And he knew that it would be pointless, leaving him half-starved and unfocused. And then he could feel his heart ache with sorrow when he was forced to watch Sam being tortured via web cam.

The memories echoed in a disturbed resounding manner. To hear the raw broken sobs and screams and yet he couldn't do anything about it, fearing that he himself would die before he could try to save his little brother.

Maybe he should have.... He deserved it, after years of covering up Sam's sins instead of heeding his father's warnings. But he tried to live, wanting to live, when he watched what he thought would be the last time he would hear and see his brother alive. That was why he took the deal.... He didn't want to keep watching Sam admitting his crimes and begging to die, just so the torture would stop. _"Just end me, please.... I could never hate myself any more than I can right now, for killing those people...."_ came Sam's weak pleading, breathing raggedly on the dirty cell floor after another torturing session that almost went too far.

Had he done the right thing, saving Sam's life....? No.... he had only done it for his own selfish gain, that he didn't want to be left alone in this cruel world. Just like right now. He was more than selfish.... and he was left alone nonetheless. Lying on his bed, he gritted his sharp teeth at the burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. He hadn't eaten, not since yesterday when Sam confronted him.

He had stayed in his room, not even coming out when night came as he sulked with disdain. Castiel.... He could hear him sobbing from downstairs, trying to hold in his feeble sounds but it was pointless. It was getting annoying.... He wouldn't stop, even after Dean snapped and yelled out to stop his rambling prayers. But that only riled up his neglected hunger, as he huffed in an attempt to fall asleep. But how long since he had been fazing in and out of sleep?

He doesn't even know what time it was, as he dozed off what felt like a few seconds before the burning hunger brought him back into consciousness. His bedroom was still dark, the rumbling of the rainstorm was continuing though he could hear it going away. But only rain was still falling, pelting softly against the windows. He blinked tiredly. Castiel was quiet now.... not even a sniffling sound out of him.

No, there was no way that the priest would dare to escape out of here. He would have heard the bolts being rattled with in an instant. But there was nothing, instead he could hear the soft even breathing of him downstairs, as the human was asleep.

But Dean couldn't go back to sleep, his stomach twisted into knots from holding in his hunger for far too long. He inhaled, the smell was still here.... the blood of the human stained on the bedsheets and the discarded clothes. He couldn't hold it back any longer, feeling his body mechanically moving on its own as he let out a deep growl. He walked for the door and opened it, the cabin was completely in the dark. So it was night time.

And Castiel truly was asleep, his glowing eyes could see him curled up in the couch as he walked downstairs. The footsteps were heavy and sluggish from the lack of feeding. Curling his lips back, he could smell his unique clean scent as he stalked around the couch. Castiel was out, the oversized sweater covering him like a blanket with his face buried in the cushions.

Dean exhaled, as his fangs came out. He had nearly forgotten that tonight was the night.... "Cas...." he growled lowly. "You better fucking wake up right now...." Immediately, he tore the sweater off him, startling the priest out of his sleep. Castiel shuddered by the sudden coldness and sat up, wondering in his barely conscious mind what had just happened in the dark living room.

"Wh-what--"

"Get up now...." came Dean's growling command. Castiel flinched and realized where he was, looking up to see the intensely glowing eyes right on him. Almost in an instant, he shrank back in absolute fear, but Dean was just as quick to grab him by the upper arm.

"Ahh!" he yelped out when he was forced of the couch. Dean's vampiric strength was painful, nearly yanking his limb off his shoulder when he was then made to stand up. But the fear had already taken over him within seconds after waking up, his legs shaking when he felt the tears coming back. "P-please, wait--"

"You shut your fucking mouth, okay....?" growled Dean.

"But--"

"Shut up....!" he growled at the priest who winced by the squeezing grip on his arm. "No use of begging on me.... not when you were practically pleading for my brother to take you away from here earlier today. Care to tell me why, Cas? Is it because tonight's our little session, or something else....?"

"Y-you're hurting me...." winced Castiel.

"Oh yeah....?" Dean's green-gold eyes glowed even more brighter, more intense with unbridled anger. "Because I'm a monster, is that it....?" Castiel sniffled and wanted to get out of his hold. He was afraid of this.... he didn't want this to happen to him again.

"Vampire or not.... you're only a monster. A-a monster who wants to hurt me...." he mumbled, looking away from his hardened expression. This wasn't Dean anymore, he was different, more corrupted. All because he was the one who kept antagonizing him, challenging him in any way. He was the kidnapped hostage, it would have been easier to abide to their rules if he wanted to be safe.

He was a fool.... It was his fault that the brothers were about to have it with him. Dean scoffed at his held down sobbing, before he roughly led him toward the staircase. "Stop crying...." he gritted, pushing him forward. "Go."

In the darkness, Castiel stumbled over the steps but shakily complied as he went upstairs. He hadn't eaten all day, yet the sickening urge to throw up was evident as he tripped over the top landing. "Ahh....! W-wait, please--" he winced when Dean was suddenly standing over him, grabbing him by the arm to force him to stand. "Dean, please--"

"Don't say my fucking name....!" growled Dean, grabbing him by the throat and Castiel choked out in shocked surprise. "Don't you ever.... say my name now, not when you only saw me as a fucking monster all this time..." he growled, as he pushed him into the bedroom.

"P-please....!"

"Shut the fuck up!" he snarled, but his snapping only made the priest sob out. "Shut your fucking mouth, you little shit....!"

"Please don't...." sobbed Castiel. "Please, don't.... I'll obey the next time, I won't say anything! Just don't hurt me, Dean, please--"

"Yeah? It's interesting, isn't it....?" growled Dean, pushing him onto the bed. "Humans.... acting all high and mighty, thinking they're the shit. But when they're backed into a corner, they're nothing but sniveling little cowards." Without giving Castiel a chance to move, the vampire forced him onto his stomach, before climbing onto him with his legs pinning against the waist. "You know.... if you had just been compelled in the first place, none of this wouldn't be happening. You'd be in your shitty little church, go on with your boring day. You'd be none the wiser...."

".... I'm sorry, then...." Castiel mumbled tearfully.

"Tch, sorry, for what....?" he scoffed, grasping at his messy hair tightly and the human winced. "I'm.... I'm sorry that I'm like this...." he sniffled as wet coughs bubbled out of his throat. "If I weren't.... then you wouldn't have to hurt me like this. I would have live my life without knowing who or what you are...." He shuddered when the clawed fingers gripped at the collar of the T-shirt, the cotton ripped a bit to expose the scarred shoulder. "Please, Dean.... You said you weren't like this...."

"Shut up...." Dean rumbled.

"Please.... If you're going to do this.... then don't let me suffer for long," Castiel mumbled. "I'll pray once you do this.... I'll pray for the Lord to protect me as my life's drained away by you. I won't be afraid to die, Dean.... I'm sorry for troubling you in the first place. I should've left you alone in that graveyard...."

"....." Dean frowned, destructive mix of emotions whirled in his mind, glaring at Castiel after hearing that defeated comment. So he was going to give up.... just like that....? So he was willing to die.... No one would know of it.... His death would go unnoticed and nobody would care. Who would care....?

_".... Just let me die.... Other than my brother, who would care that someone like me being alive....? Just please.... kill me, put me out of my misery...."_

".... Get out...."

"H-huh....?" Teary eyes blinked when Castiel felt Dean getting off him.

"Get out.... I don't need a sobbing piece of shit as my meal...." Dean growled lowly. Castiel barely had the time to process what he was saying, when he was suddenly yanked off the bed. "Go.... Get out of my fucking sight. You're disgusting to me, " he scoffed.

"Ahh!" Castiel was pushed harshly out of the room, tumbling against the wall across the hall. "Ah...!" Dull pain jarred at his arm now, but that was the least of his problems as he glanced at the vampire. The glowing eyes were harsh, but.... they were holding something else, that Castiel wasn't sure what it was.

"Tch...." Dean gritted, before slamming his door shut. Castiel flinched at the harsh sound but stared at the door in the pitch-black hallway. What... was that about....? Why did.... Dean stop....? Why wouldn't he do it as vampires do?

He let out a shaking gasp, warm tears trailed down his cheeks non-stop as he then sniffled. Even in the darkness, he carefully made his way to the end of the hall. His fingers patted at the office door until he found the knob and turned it. It should be safe here.... He didn't want to go back downstairs. He stepped into the office and closed the door. But he didn't move to sit on the chair, instead he leaned against the wooden barrier and slid down to the floor.

"Lord in Heaven...." he whispered, sniffling as he buried his face in his raised knees. "I'm sorry...." he mumbled. "I didn't mean to give up like that.... I'm so sorry...." He didn't feel relieved like this, he didn't feel like this was over. His thoughts and mental prayers were barely keeping him preoccupied. But it was enough for him to be unaware of the movements downstairs, of the sounds of the fridge door opening and closing and gulps of beer and bagged blood being consumed.

He didn't even hear the sound of the beer bottles being smashed and shattered afterwards....

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review

I'll update ASAP!!


	11. Consumption

Blood of Salvation by Boogermeister

Chapter 11- Consumption

Breathing sharply, Castiel woke up with a start, his wide blue eyes blinked around in the dark room. Why... was he on the floor? He didn't remember falling asleep, as he slowly sat up. But.... he remembered what had happened last night. Of how Dean tossed him out after not wanting to drink his blood.... It was tumultuous and scary. Of him being glared down by those glowing eyes. He was still afraid. He wasn't sure how long he was asleep, he had thought Dean would change his mind and come back for him.

But after a moment, Castiel stood up and looked around, realizing that he could see edges of faded light around the small window beside one bookcase. It was daytime.... meaning that the vampire could be asleep by now. But he was still wary before grasping the knob and carefully opened the door. Nothing. He stepped out of the office before pausing in his steps.

Where was Sam....?

Knowing a bit about the tall vampire, Sam would have made a angry fuss over this the moment he got home and he would have heard it. But there was silence, and it felt unsettling. But still, Castiel walked further out, seeing that Dean's bedroom door was left wide open.

But Dean wasn't in the room. Castiel stared in surprise, Dean wasn't in there.... then where was he?

"...." Castiel passed the room for the bathroom, then washing his face with cold water, unsure if his movements could be heard. But his mind kept going back to last night's event, of how Dean had treated him.... He was going to hurt him and drink his blood. But then he stopped.

Was it.... because of him accepting his fate, whether he was going to die by the vampire's hands....? Breathing warily, he stepped out of the bathroom, still not hearing any sounds in the cabin. ".... He.... hello....?" he mumbled out. "S-Sam.... Are you here....? Nothing. Nothing except.... a subtle but odd sound of rain splattering on a hardwood surface downstairs.

"A-anybody....?" he called out again, hesitant of making his voice louder as he stepped down the stairs. But halfway down, he suddenly stopped and he gasped, with his eyes widened in shock. "Good Lord...." he gasped softly.

Countless shards of glass scattered all over kitchen floor from what he could see. Broken pieces of brown and green shined dully under what little light was revealing into the cabin. And the light.... was coming from the door, which was left wide open for the light rain to fall in. Castiel realized it in absolute shock as he inhaled sharply.

Why was the door open....? Why Dean wasn't here....? Why Sam hadn't come back....? Those questions simultaneously circled around in his mind, as he hesitantly walked all the way down. Nobody was here, nobody at all. He was left alone in this cabin.

But it made him all the more afraid, as Castiel looked around. It was their rule, that he couldn't be left alone here with both of the brothers gone, to protect him in case of other vampires wandering by. Exceptionally, Sam had left him alone that one time, but he was gone for barely an hour before coming back with lunch. "...." he sniffed, the air in here was damp and almost musty. The door must have been left open for hours, then....

"I can't believe this...." he muttered remorsefully. He stepped closer to the kitchen, not getting too close to the shards, when he noticed crumpled plastic materials within the broken glass. He recognized what it was, and frowned in disbelief. About four transfusion bags were consumed.

He didn't know that Dean could drink that much, when it was mentioned that vampires could only consume a pint or two at a time. But to have that much.... along with God knew how many beer he had drunk, Castiel dreadfully wasn't sure. He stepped back to walk into the living room. Sitting down on the couch, he slipped on his dress shoes before standing right back up.

The rain was still pouring though it was light at the moment, but he hesitated of going outside. He wasn't supposed to leave here, that thought thoroughly engrained in his mind. But he wasn't sure why this door was opened in the first place, as he walked up to it. "S-Sam....?" he called out.

Tiny drops of water pelted on his face when he stepped out, the soft foliage-covered earth sunk a bit in each step as he looked around. So there was really no way of figuring out an escape plan, with the thick forestation walled around the cabin and the small garage nearby. The garage itself was empty, nothing but tool boxes and auto kits in there.

He wondered how the car was able to go through these trees but there was no point. Sam was gone since yesterday morning, and the weather had probably washed away the tire tracks all this time. The damp chill made him shudder and he crossed his arms in a feign way to warm himself. Where were they....? Why did they left him alone....? In the times he had been held captives in the cabin, he hadn't seen any landlines or any other sort like that, meaning there was no way that he can reach for the phone for help.

It made sense for the obscurity, but to be left here like this was about as disturbing as being left alone with Dean. With another shudder, Castiel slowly went back inside, but didn't close the door completely but just enough to shield away the rain. It was much too eerie and quiet to stay in the darkness, as he moved to put on the TV.

4:38 PM, he had been out for so long, probably for 18 to 20 hours. Anemia and hunger were the factors in it, but he didn't wish to go to the kitchen with so many glass scattered across the floor. Sitting on the couch, he barely paid attention to the soft rambling noises of the television. He had never guessed that he would even bother to stay, when he should be trying to figure out a way to leave out of here.

This was his opportunity, and yet he was still afraid of being found by either of the brothers. Or worse, ending up being lost in the woods with no way of knowing if there was any civilization nearby, without food or right clothing.

Then what could he do....?

Castiel blinked a few times before he unknowingly dozed off once again, with the fatigue taking over his need to eat. He didn't know that he had fallen asleep, but when he blinked his eyes open, he realized that the cable box now said 5:52. He looked around.... and he was still alone in the dark cabin. This doesn't make any sense at all, as he stood up.

He remembered Sam saying that he was going to be a few counties away to discuss finances. But it shouldn't take this long for such a thing.... He had an inkling of hope that he would be the first one to come home. He couldn't imagine how to react should Dean come back before him. Getting tired of being in the dark for so long, he moved to put on the light, his blue eyes blinked to absorb the soft yellow light. The glass shards glimmered from it but Castiel could see where it scattered.

And it was nearly everywhere on the kitchen floor, even on the table and the small counter by the sink. He didn't know it would be this significant, that Dean was that bitter and angry that he would create such a disastrous mess. "Dear Lord...." he gasped softly. He wondered when did this happen, when he had fallen asleep in that office. But he didn't hear anything.... The anemia along with the overwhelming amount of emotions must have overly exhausted him last night.

"Ah...." Castiel looked around, his eyes then landed on a slim worn out broom leaning beside the fridge. He could just sweep the glass aside so he could get some food, as he hadn't eaten for nearly 48 hours. Picking up the broom, he started slowly and almost clumsily. The pieces clinked together with each sweep. But Castiel gradually had them gathered, away from the fridge and sink. With his back turned, he wasn't aware that the slightly opened door was pushed aside. Not until he heard the heavy footsteps did he freeze.

"What the _fuck_.... are you doing....?"

Castiel's breath gasped out of his lungs in a sharp horrified manner, his crystal blue eyes widened to the fullest extent when the footsteps stomped heavily toward him. He turned around in time, dropping the broom in the process, to see the narrowed green-gold eyes glaring down at him. He felt his heart thumping wildly the instant he saw him.

Dean.... He came back first, and Castiel was afraid of that, as he shakily took a step back. "I-I...."

"Why.... are you still here....?" growled Dean, his fanged teeth bared at the priest. "You're still fucking here.... sweeping up the fucking mess like some maid?"

"H-huh....?"

"Huh....? Huh? What, am I speaking Klingon or something....?" Dean questioned, his eyes glowed with annoyance and anger as he scoffed. "You ever stopped and wondered why I left the door open, you stupid little shit....?" he scoffed at him, and Castiel shuddered when he stalked closer to him.

He reflexively back away, unknowingly going close to the couch but Dean was growling as he glared at his terrified face. "You know what....? I assumed that you were smart, that you would dare to get outta here once I was gone.... But then again, you _would_ be fucking afraid, that either me or Sammy would probably go after you...."

".... S-so.... it was a test....?" Castiel mumbled weakly, expecting to be snarled at or grabbed by the arms. But he flinched when Dean scoffed out a bitter chuckle, the raw voice getting louder and louder until it became an ironic yet crazed cackle. The priest felt terribly afraid of his sudden reaction but also confused, backing away again until his hands touched the worn-down leather of the couch.

"A test.... a test, this fucker says....!" he laughed. Yet his lips curled back with an incensed scowl, as he paced toward the door. It had stopped raining, but it didn't matter to him as he roughly slammed the door shut. ".... I _want_ you gone, that's why I left it open...." he scoffed, the laughter abruptly stopped.

"Wh-what....?" That only sounded more befuddling. Castiel's heartbeats were going faster when he saw the eyes glaring back at him. But now.... he noticed it more, more than just the blazing anger. Dean's eyes were bloodshot and glazed, with a hint of darkening bags underneath them. Taking in his whole face, Castiel could see that his skin appeared dry yet flushed, before noticing that he was breathing almost in a ragged manner.

Was.... Dean drunk? The priest was now beginning to wonder that, as he noticed him scrubbing a hand down his face and staggering forward. "You hate my guts, right....? You wanna get away from here? That was your chance...." scoffed Dean before letting out another derisive chuckle. "Sure, you probably would get lost and end up being bear chow.... But hey, at least you don't hafta worry about me sucking you off again, huh....?"

"W-wait a minute.... How could I leave? What would--" Castiel muttered frightfully.

"What would Sam think? Is that what you were gonna say....?" he growled with disdain. "Didn't you hear, we ain't brothers anymore according to him.... Why should he care if I let you leave? He.... he doesn't care about me anymore, anyway...." The anger almost gave way to what looked like sorrow as he frowned.

"B-but.... that can't be right.... You said that both of you are working together to do something, right?" he questioned carefully, stepping around the furniture to distance himself from the vampire. Dean glanced at him but renewed irateness glowed in his eyes as he then growled.

"Why the fuck should you care? I thought we were monsters to your eyes, that you'll end up dead with me burying your body in this shitty forest," he scoffed bitterly. "And believe me.... I've done it so many times that it's pretty much second-nature. Always cleaning up Sammy's little messes as usual. An accessory to the many, many crimes of the Winchesters brothers...."

He should feel intimidated and even appalled by his words, but Castiel was more worried about his inebriated rant. He took a step back, but Dean just figured out what was he trying to do and frowned. "It's too late now.... you had your chance, but you blew it...."

"Ah--" Castiel winced in shock when he was suddenly pinned down into the couch by him. He shuddered when the warm and slightly acrid breath wavered over his face, before Dean huffed in disgust.

"..... You're not different from the rest.... Cas," he rumbled. "You're the same as them.... saying that we shouldn't exist. That me and Sam.... are fucking cursed, because of our bloodline....."

"Wh-what....?" gasped Castiel with widened eyes. "Tch, do I hafta spell it out for you, dumbass....?" growled Dean, his sharp teeth gritting. "Cursed, as in unwanted by your kind. Ostracized, shunned into a secret place by society like fucking Quasimodo, what else could it mean, Cas?"

"I-I don't understand...."

"Of course you don't.... A dumb, simple human, only meant for one thing...." he growled lowly, as he then grasped at his chin to bare his throat. The fear was coming back within Castiel, who pushed against his chest. "You can't fight me, you're weak.... weaker than usual, I should say...."

"Please.... Y-you're impaired, you don't know what you're saying at the moment," muttered Castiel.

"Don't know-- being lectured by a talking food, that's rich...." scoffed Dean. "I hate the way you're groveling at the moment. Is it because you believe you'll get first-class ticket to Heaven if I drain you dry....? Don't gimme that holy bullshit...."

".... Dean--"

"Don't pretend you can get outta this--" he gritted.

"Dean.... I won't try to fight, I-I swear," he reasoned, almost surprised at him for sounding calm at the moment. Maybe it was his habit as a priest, as he took a deep breath. "You're in no condition to do this.... When your brother comes homes--"

"I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING BROTHER!" he snarled out and the priest recoiled by it. "I.... I don't have anyone anymore.... A vamp being alone, might as well be dead," he muttered, his voice and his mood now unexpectedly somber as his hold on Castiel lessened. "Rotting in the fucking ground, no gravestone, nothing...."

"Ah..." Castiel was startled when Dean stumbled to get off him. But the inebriated vampire barely took a step forward.... before collapsing to the floor with solid heavy thud. "What the....?" he gasped. He immediately sat up, his widened eyes stared at the sight of the sprawled out form of Dean.

The green-gold eyes were half-lidded and unfocused, possibly from hitting his head hard. There was a weak groan drawled out of him but he didn't move to get up. Castiel briefly wondered if vampires could get concussions but he didn't wish to think much of it, as he cautiously stood up. Maybe he could leave him there and sweep aside the glass, and wait until Sam comes. He wasn't sure what to do, but at least Dean wouldn't bother him for the moment--

"Don't.... leave me..... Sammy...."

Castiel froze in surprise, when Dean's hand reached out for him. It missed by a couple of inches, however, but it was enough for the priest to stare at Dean in disbelief. Did he hit his head hard enough that Castiel was seen as the tall vampire....? Dean seemed to believe so in his alcohol-riddled mind, as he reached for him again.

"Please, Sammy.... You can't go, you can't leave me with Dad...." he mumbled. His words slurred as he frowned miserably. "Please stay.... I-I'm sorry...."

"...." Castiel held his breath. The hand reaching for him finally slumped back, as Dean breathed raspingly.

"I.... I won't leave you, Sammy. I'm so s-sorry.... I won't do it again, I won't get angry again...." he groaned. "I don't.... care about anything but you.... Sorry I was angry at you. I didn't.... I didn't mean to take it out on you over Lisa...."

".... H-huh....?" Castiel blinked at that. Dean's nonsense rambling.... it had taken a sudden turn. He slowly sat back down, moving his legs away from his reach, but the vampire didn't seem to notice that as his fingernails lazily crawled at the wooden floor.

"Lisa.... Lisa...." he mumbled. "I'm sorry, Sam.... I'll take it, I'll take in every sin you've done.... I'll take care of you. I won't leave you, okay....? Just don't leave _me_ again.... Please...."

".... Dean....?" muttered Castiel. Dean wasn't responding, his hand went slack again. The unfocused eyes finally closed though the eyelids were just slightly opened. "..... D-Dean....?" The priest mumbled quietly, leaning to see that Dean was now passed out. He was breathing shallowly but at least Castiel didn't need to worry about him dying at the moment.

But he worried just the same. Sam wasn't here yet, and Dean might wake up at any time. Like maybe right now, when he suddenly heard a soft buzzing out of nowhere. He blinked before realizing that it was coming from Dean; that it was coming from his jeans pocket. A cell phone.... Dean's cell phone was ringing but the vampire was truly out.

What should Castiel do....? Waiting it out for the buzzing to stop wouldn't do any good, but he wasn't sure if he should touch the device. But then again, it might be Sam calling.... he was the only he had seen Dean calling him since being here. Slowly and carefully, he reached forward for the vibrating device just sticking out of the denim pocket. It was small luck that it didn't break from the fall, as he managed to grab ahold of it and looked at the caller ID on the screen.

It was Sam.

He felt relief for a short moment, but then he hesitated. Would Sam be angry at him for answering the cell? Or would he be mad regardless since Dean didn't answer him....? Only one way to find out, as he swiped at the answer button.

".... Hello....? Dean, Dean....? Hello, I've been trying to call you since this morning.... What the fuck happened....?"

"..... Sa.... Sam....?" Castiel muttered to the phone.

".... C-Cas?"

"Y-yes....?"

"How the hell did you get Dean's phone....?" Sam questioned, and Castiel flinched at the incredulous tone. "Uh, I-I mean.... Where's Dean? I've been calling him since early this morning. Is he there....?"

"Um.... he's, uh, inhibited at the moment...." muttered Castiel.

"Inhibited....? Oh.... Oh fuck, he's smashed, isn't he....?" Sam scoffed in annoyance.

"Smashed?" Castiel blinked at his word. "Y-yes, I believe so.... But, he's unconscious at the moment, and I do not know what to do--"

"W-wait a minute, Cas. He's unconscious....? As in knocked out cold....?" he asked.

"Yes...."

".... How many beer bottles and cans did he drink, Castiel?" Sam questioned out of concern.

"I'm.... not sure," he mumbled quietly. "But there are countless broken glass shards from the beer bottles here.... I have no idea how much, but he came back inebriated and.... and...."

"And what, Cas? Please tell me...."

"Um...." Castiel glanced down at Dean, who was still motionless yet breathing. "He.... he wanted me to leave from here. He purposely left the door open when he was gone, hoping that me not being here will end the problems between you two...."

".... What....?" gasped Sam. Castiel could hear his rushed muffled movements then the sounds of rumbling engine. "Did you.... consider it?"

"I wouldn't know where to go anyway...."

"All right, all right.... I'll be there shortly, in about twenty minutes," he assured. "Just sit tight, Castiel, I'll deal with this when I get there."

"But--" Castiel blinked when the call cut off. Maybe Sam was now going in a rush, since he was the one who answered Dean's phone after all. He looked at the device, he was only able to use it to talk to Sam but now it was locked judging by the screen, it needed certain finger swipes to get it open.

But.... there was an emergency button right there, at the bottom of the screen. He stared right at it, wanting to press it, yet at the same time he didn't wish to dare it. Not because he was feeling afraid by the vampire holding him hostage. The police probably wouldn't believe his story of being held down by a nightmarish creature, considering him being missing for days could contribute with confusion and dehydration in the woods.

Not to mention that him going to cops will target him to the other purebloods.... and kill him since he couldn't get compelled.... Frowning abysmally, he leaned forward to settle the phone back into Dean's pocket. Dean hadn't stirred from the priest's conversation, though he groaned a little when he subconsciously attempted to roll onto his back but couldn't.

"Ughh.... Sweet potatoes...." he mumbled sleepily, flopping back to his stomach. Castiel just stared and frowned. Once again, he felt wary of being alone with the now passed out vampire.

".... Great...." he sighed, rubbing over the forgotten ache over his bandaged thigh. "This can't be a test by the Lord...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Castiel unexpectedly had another bout of dozing off, he must have, because he snapped back into consciousness when he heard the rumbling engine of the car coming up. He blinked a few times and let out a soft yawn. Then he looked down; Dean was still out, now snoring a bit with drool dribbling out of his slackened mouth. The priest slowly stood up and walked around him.

He wasn't sure how to explain this to Sam, his mind filled with worry, wondering if the taller vampire would blame him for this. But then again, the brothers fought the last time before Sam left. Stepping away from Dean, Castiel looked up in time to see Sam pushing the unlocked door open and rushing right in.

"Cas....! What happened...?" he panted in shock, looking at him then at his sprawled out brother.

"I-It's like I said.... He was drunk, and he wanted me to leave here. But I-I didn't know that--" Castiel tried to explain, but Sam was too focused at the sight of Dean. He walked up to him with concerned yet annoyed eyes, and scoffed in disbelief.

"Goddamn it, Dean...." he scoffed, scratching through his chestnut-colored hair. "How long was he out?"

"I don't know, maybe a hour...." muttered Castiel. The tall vampire nodded slightly at that, crouching down to observe the situation. ".... S-Sam....?"

"Shit.... I've seen him drinking himself stupid but to be this blasted and out cold...." he huffed tiredly. "He has to be this conked out if he didn't answer his phone...." He glanced at Castiel, who shuddered with uncertainty, but he frowned in empathy as he stood right up. "..... Did anything else happen, Castiel?"

"Huh....?"

"Had he tried to.... hurt you in any way....?" Sam asked cautiously.

".... N-no, he didn't," he muttered with apprehension. "As a matter of fact.... he didn't want my blood last night. He said that I was disgusting to him now...." Sam furrowed his brows at that, before looking at the mess in the kitchen. It was partially cleaned, but he could see the crumpled transfusion bags among the broken glass and frowned. "Sam.... he did this, because of me, right....? That the reason he's like this, rambling about the both of you fighting.... just like over another person?"

"Huh? What other person?" questioned Sam, the hazel-green eyes turned right on him and Castiel flinched by the stare. "What else did Dean say to you, Cas? Please tell me."

"Uh, he said.... that he won't leave you again after some incident involving someone named Lisa," he replied hesitantly. But the instant he said the name, Sam's eyes widened in shock and his jaw dropped. He didn't expect that, and took a step back out of reflex. But the tall vampire soon frowned out of what looked like regret as he then looked away.

"Shit.... Alcohol always reveals the truth, doesn't it....?" he scoffed softly.

"I-I'm sorry--"

"It wasn't your fault, Cas, it's nobody's fault...." he muttered, looking back at his knocked out brother. "Damn it, Dean...." he sighed heavily, crouching down to grab him by the upper arms. "Here we go...."

"Ughh.... I don't wanna go to school.... my teacher ain't that hot," gurgled Dean. But he didn't really stir when Sam hooked his arm behind his back and pulled him to his feet.

"Come on, move your feet, Dean...." he sighed. It appeared to Castiel that the younger brother was stronger, as Sam dragged Dean toward the staircase with ease.

"Fish taco.... Tastes like shit...."

"I know, I know...." muttered Sam.

"Sam....?" muttered Castiel.

"I'll just put him to bed then I'll come back down to clean up the mess," Sam reassured, the added weight made his footsteps heavy as he walked up the stairs. "It shouldn't be your job...."

"I only did it because I hadn't eaten for so long and wanted to get some food," explained Castiel.

"Tch, that would make sense...."

Sam was gone from his sight, before Castiel looked around. At least he could get to the fridge, as he went back to the kitchen. But he swept aside some more glass just in case. He was still worried, however. Sam's reaction to the person named Lisa was surprising to him. This Lisa person.... this was a woman that they were fighting about.

But was it a romantic rivalry gone wrong between the brothers, or was it something else? He glanced at the staircase, waiting for a minute or two of Sam coming back down, before resuming to sweep. But he didn't, as the tall vampire settled Dean onto the middle of messy bed with a deep huff. "There...." he breathed, his nose twitched irritatedly by the smell of old blood still in the bedroom.

Dean groaned and subconsciously moved to lay on his stomach. With his eyes glowing in the darkness, Sam looked at his older brother and could only frown. He wasn't sure what to think of this, of why Dean drank copious amount of alcohol and unknowingly mentioned the past about Lisa.

Lisa.... That was so long ago when they met her, when they were passing through Indiana-- a neutral unoccupied state for the mixbloods. It was before their kind became wary and fully afraid of the Winchesters.... just before Sam gave in to his darker side when Dean angrily left him. He didn't expect Dean to still harbor those feelings from the past, but he should have known better. Swallowing down his feelings was always the major factor of the older vampire's personality, always concealing it with a humorous smirk and the constant reassurance over Sam's well-being.

But he might as well hurt himself, and Dean had done so by drinking to the point of blacking out. "Shit, Dean...." Sam scoffed in worrisome, turning to leave. "You're becoming just like Dad.... I can't believe this...."

"D-don't.... don't leave me, Sammy...." Dean mumbled. Sam paused and looked at him, seeing that his brother was incoherently reaching out for him. "Please.... I'm sorry...." He was still asleep, but the sight of him being vulnerable like this made Sam's chest ache a bit. He was holding so much in, and it exploded in the worse way possible. Sighing deeply, Sam carefully sat next to him and gripped his hand.

"I'll stay, Dean.... but just for a while, okay?" he muttered quietly. He glanced down at him, seeing the tensed expression in his sleeping face.

He sported that look plenty of times, but Sam knew that trying to help his brother would always result in Dean stubbornly resisting. But for now.... he let go of his judgment on him, as he squeezed his hand in a comforting manner.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Intense pain in his head woke Dean up with a tired groan, his entire body felt like it was filled with stone when he tried to move just one arm. "Oh.... fuck....." he groaned, shutting his eyes tightly as if to will away the headache that was throbbing right through his inner ear canals. He attempted to shift his body again when he realized that he was on his bed. There was no doubt about it.... He could recognize the firm memory-foamed feeling anywhere.

"How the hell....?" Slowly, Dean rose his head and looked around his dark bedroom after blinking his eyes open. How did he end up in here....? How long was he out, and more importantly, how much did he drink to pass out like that....? He must have been out for that long, since he could see edges of golden sunlight behind the thick curtains. It couldn't be morning, he numbly thought.

"..... It's just after four, in case you were wondering," came Sam's quiet voice, and Dean's bleary eyes blinked up when he heard light footsteps.

".... Sammy....?" he mumbled, noticing the tall vampire standing over him.

"Who else.....? Can you sit up? I got something for you," he muttered. Groaning a bit, Dean willed his body to twist and scoot into a sitting position, the headache now throbbing behind his eyeballs.

"Fuck me...."

"Here, this should help," sighed Sam, holding an extra-large coffee cup toward him. The warm earthy aroma of the pick-me-up caught Dean's nose and he sighed.

"You think plain old Joe would do the works for me....?" he grumbled. "No, it's our special concoction, remember? One part cat blood, two parts triple red-eye," his little brother smirked a little. Dean nodded in remembrance and took it. He ignored the hot thick taste as he chugged half of it in a couple of gulps before taking a deep breath. ".... Better now?" asked Sam.

"I don't even know...." sighed Dean, rubbing his dry eyes. The headache was still there as he then drank the rest of the concoction. Sam sighed before sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting until the silence settled between them.

".... So.... You drank all of the beer in the cabin, not to mention what was left of the transfusion bags and a couple of whiskey bottles," he stated quietly with a clearing of his throat. Dean glanced at him in mild surprise then he looked away. But Sam was simply looking ahead, right at the wall where the desk was as he let out a deep sigh. "You decided not to drink from Cas, that's good.... and yet you made a mess afterwards. And you left him alone in the cabin to drink more.... with the door opened for _anyone_ to come right in and discover him being here."

".... I know now," muttered Dean, remembering that part. Of him staggering out of the cabin after consuming so much blood and alcohol, not bothering to think of the consequences then.

"Yeah, you know now...." Sam sighed heavily. There was no scolding or even anger in his voice. It was much too calm and even, something that Dean had never witnessed before. Maybe Sam was holding in his anger deep down in his guts that he didn't wish to explode into a bloodthirsty rage toward him. "But.... didn't you know that you've done more than that....? he muttered.

".... Like what?" Dean mumbled, feeling a bit wary about it. He had done plenty of dumb antics but it was a fun kind of drunkenness. But he was drinking to drown away his bitterness.... to take away what he didn't want anymore.

"..... I've asked you, implored, practically begged you.... to do the right thing, Dean," sighed Sam. "You've done it when you want me alive, or when you make sure that I wouldn't hurt anybody since we left Dad. But.... you've changed, after two years of being here, you're becoming something that you're not. I'm just tired.... I'm tired of this, Dean, I really am. If you can't do this.... then.... I'll give up and tell them...."

".... What?" Dean frowned at him in a mix of confusion and surprise, but Sam continued to stare ahead.

"I _wanted_ to die back then and there, I _wanted_ Nicholas to end my suffering after each and every torture I've endured," he muttered quietly. Much too calmly. "Kind of like how I wanted to die when I killed him, and when you left me after that big fight.... But you kept pulling me back in, wanting me to be alive because you wanted me to hope for the best. But I always believe otherwise.... Not that it matters, nobody wants us around. We're living on borrowed time, like Michael had said."

".... So.... you're willing to tell the others of what I've done.... because of my stubbornness, Sam?" muttered Dean, not understanding this as he stared with widened eyes. Why would his brother do that? Why would he be willing to give up after two years of taking this deal....?

".... It's not the first time that I put a gun to my head because of you, Dean...." he sighed monotonously, standing up. "Go back to sleep.... I'll make some arrangements for Cas to get out of here before I sign my death wish. I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

"But.... S-Sammy, wait...." Dean called out. But the tall vampire was already out the door as he closed it, leaving him all alone. What was going on here....? Why Sam was willing to give it up like before....?

Why....?

_Why....?_

Breathing heavily and ignoring the headache that was slowly going away, Dean got off his bed. He wanted to throw up, but the alcohol was already out of his systems. His eyes just flitted around just to search for.... he doesn't even know what he was searching for. His emotions were twisting around in a chaotic mix. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. Guilt--

Was it guilt he was having now....? Guilt for what, guilt for giving Castiel grief, for making his only brother suffer in the process? That Sam wanted to die.... because of him....? Dean felt so sick right now. In his tired eyes, he just looked around until he saw the small photo on the desk. He stared at it until he felt himself stumbling for it.

"...." He picked it up and his stomach knotted up terribly. How can this woman just smile.... without a care in the world.... without ever knowing that her two son grew up to be hated and ridiculed by their own kind....?

_"Ahh.... Everything will be all right, Dean.... Angels will always watch over you, okay....?"_

His grip on the photo tightened, making the glass cracked under the pressure and he dropped it out of reflex. He had cut his thumb but it had already healed just as a drop of blood trickled down. He glanced at the photo again and he frowned bitterly.

He had failed her.... It was his job to look after Sam and he couldn't even do that without his own problems in the way. He deserved that. Not doing certain things right would always end up with him being reprimanded by his drunk father growing up, being either yelled at or worse. He even gave up his own selfish needs for a while after mistakenly leaving six-year-old Sam alone just to go to the arcades one night. One angry smack across the face was more than enough to obey him without question.

When his father died, it felt like he had failed him for choosing Sam over the only parent they had left. And yet.... at the same time, he was angry then. That his old man was that selfish enough not to sober up for the sake of bringing the family together, that he still saw Sam as a threat instead of willing to help him with his condition right to his dying breath.

_"If you don't do it, Dean... then you're risking the lives of others because of him.... That will be your fault...."_

Fault.... It was always _his_ fault, wasn't it....? It was his fault that he couldn't save his mother in that fire. That he backed up Sam of him leaving for Stanford instead of agreeing with his father of taking away his opportunity, resulting in more reprimanding and abuse. His fault again when he decided to save his little brother after his first kill.... Then selfishly walking out on him over that one incident, only to help him bury the torn bodies.

_"You should've killed me, Dean....! I'm tired of living like this, that I'm suffering because of you wanting me to be alive....!"_

He remembered that one now.... Of him easing Sam's hand away, the barrel of the Colt 1911 was pressed right against his temple before Dean talked him out of it. Then he let himself get fed on, almost to the point of him coughing and gurgling on his own blood, when his younger brother went too far by sinking his teeth deeper into his throat. But he deserved it.... It was always his fault.

Always.... always....

Dean blinked when he felt his eyes sting with warm tears yet to trickle down. At first, he thought it was the after effects of his headache. But he wasn't an idiot.... It wasn't fair that he felt like this. But it didn't matter anyway; Sam was giving up once again, and again he was the cause of it. Just like how his father warned him.

"Shit.... Shit, shit...." he murmured, trying fervently to wipe away the tears that did fall. "I hate this... I fucking-- Fuck, I hate this...." If he hadn't.... been attracted to Castiel and his scent, if his foolish pride hadn't caused his injury and led him to that small church that night.... One thing always led to another, going worse and worse. Huffing deeply, Dean rubbed his sore eyes. The tears threatened to leak out again but he wiped them off as he glanced at the closed door.

Castiel.... What would happen to him if Sam were to go through this plan? He wasn't sure if the priest would want that, to have both of the brothers being taken away. Maybe that was his wish, his revenge on him for being a prisoner in this cabin. After all.... it was his fault and always will be, no matter what.... Walking toward the door, he was back into a corner at the thought of it.\

It was already too late, Castiel hated him.... but the least he could do was to try anyway.

Opening the door, he quietly stepped out of his bedroom. Soft rambling noises of the TV could be heard, but other movements downstairs paused. It was obviously Sam, possibly heard him about to cry. The air was tense now and Dean felt himself not wanting to go down there. He knew the eyes would be on him instantly and he couldn't stand that. But.... he must, as he forced himself down the stairs.

"...." Dean could feel the brief stare on him from the kitchen table where his brother was. He didn't wish to see the imploring yet confused look on his face, instead his green-gold eyes traveled to the couch. Castiel heard him going downstairs but didn't move to peek over the couch. If anything, a sense of apprehension was obvious out of the priest.

Dean sighed heavily, he could tell that the other two were waiting for his next move, before he finally moved for the door. The hazel-green eyes were boring right at him as he slowly unlocked the bolts, Sam was probably wondering where he was going. After all, he had been wearing the same clothes for two days straight with today making the third. He didn't even take off his boots after sleeping last night when he then opened the door and stepped one foot out.

But he paused for moment, ignoring the golden sunlight on his face before he turned away to glance over at the couch again. Castiel could be seen from his angle, wearing the oversized sweater and the black slacks. The hair was terribly chaotic without a comb in sight, and the fine stubbles were growing into thicker whiskers from not shaving in recent days. The once vibrant crystal blue eyes seemed to have dulled yet they were full of tensed apprehension, just staring at the television but not really watching.

The human was terrible to look at.... He wasn't the same humble-looking man in the priestly clothing, all because of him. Dean looked away but he cleared his throat as he clenched his fists. ".... Can... C-can I speak to you for a moment....?" he muttered gruffly, his head turned slightly back at the priest.

"Huh....? Dean?" Sam glanced at him in surprise, his work completely forgotten with his fingers frozen over the keyboards. "What's going on here....?"

".... I just wanna.... talk to Cas for a sec...." mumbled Dean. That caught Castiel's attention and looked at the older vampire with widened eyes. What was going on? For the past couple of days, Dean was acting destructively but now he seemed demure and somber. He seemed so worn down from so much emotions within him, as he was waiting for confirmation from him.

".... Wh-why....?" he asked quietly.

"Just.... I need to say something to you.... a bit of privacy, outside," Dean requested, tired eyes glanced to the outdoor. Castiel blinked at that then looked over the couch at Sam, who seemed wary yet curious of his brother's intent.

"You're not going to go too far in the woods, are you?" asked Sam.

"No.... just behind the garage," muttered Dean. "It won't take long...." He stepped out of the cabin, leaving the priest befuddled. What was there to talk about, of what had happened the other night? Of Dean's drunken rant....?

".... You should go and and hear him out, Castiel," Sam sighed deeply, and Castiel looked at him in surprise.

"But--"

"If he's acting like this, then it must be serious," he frowned. "Although I don't know what he would say out of this. I mean, he had fucked up big time but.... It's best that you go and talk to him. I'll hear everything anyway, so don't worry about it...."

"All right, then...." Castiel sighed, cautiously getting to his feet and putting on his shoes. He wasn't sure what to say to Dean, but he also wasn't sure if he was truly willing to listen to what he has to say. What could be said between them? The vampire hurt him in more ways than one.... The human took one more look at Sam. The tall vampire was back on his laptop with a concentrated gaze. But he was attentive of what was about to happen.

With a bit of resolve, he stepped out of the cabin and looked around the walled trees. It wasn't hard to find Dean, who was gazing at his car inside the garage. Dean heard him walking tentatively up to him, but didn't look at him when he turned around. ".... C'mon, around the back...." he mumbled, walking past the priest. Castiel just nodded and followed after him. He was distancing himself from the vampire by at least ten paces, until Dean stopped, his slouched body seemed to be even more slack with weariness.

".... So.... What do you want me to say, Cas....?" he muttered, slowly turning to him. Castiel nearly felt his heart jump in startlement at the sight of him. Despite of the exhausted look on him, Dean appeared.... completely human under the sun. Castiel had seen him only during the nights, under the artificial lighting, never noticing the multiple light brown freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks. He didn't even notice that before when Dean came to his church that day, he believed it now.

Under the sunlight, the priest could see that Dean was growing out stubbles of his own, a deep reddish copper color in contrast of his dark golden bronze hair. The fatigue seemed to have aged Dean by several years, however, when he let out a dry sigh.

"Cas....?" he muttered, catching his attention.

"H-huh....?" mumbled Castiel.

"Go ahead.... ask me what you want me to say.... About over the past few weeks, I mean...." he sighed, his eyes finally looking at him in the face. Castiel looked back, mutually surprised at how soft the color the vampire's eyes were. The intense green-gold one he was used to seeing was replaced with a softer color, like sun-kissed grass during summertime. But they were still bloodshot despite of Dean's rest, as the other man frowned and waited for his answer.

".... Why.... why did you stop?" he muttered, watching out for any reaction out of him. "You were willing to drink my blood, and.... hurting me again in the process.... But then you stopped. Was it because.... I was giving up my life....?"

".... I did mention that giving up was a coward's way out," spoke Dean, trying not to think about Sam's words earlier. "If I wanna go to that direction, then I would've killed you. You were weak, your body's having a tough time pumping more blood after...." He frowned again and looked away. Barely five minutes went by, and already he was wishing to back out.

".... You did that, to prove what you are, right....?" asked Castiel warily. He was still distant from him by six or seven paces, with his feet rocking slightly on intent of going back to the cabin. Dean couldn't look at him in the eye, but judging by his stiffened stance, that seemed to be the answer. "Did you.... only do it, because you hated how I was acted toward you....?"

"I.... I don't even know, every shit I've went through, I...." It was started to sound like an excuse, and Dean stopped talking. It was hard. The setting sun was hurting his sensitive eyes and he clenched them. ".... I didn't-- I've never really had a problem with you mouthing off. But.... how you were saying it...."

"Oh...." Castiel cautiously took one step back, but Dean didn't seem to notice it.

"I guess.... after spending most of your life being ridiculed and bullied, you can't help but to retaliate in a way," he muttered quietly. "But.... that's not how one retaliates, so that's not a good enough excuse...."

"Then what.... Dean....?" asked Castiel. He was still considering bolting off to the cabin even though Dean would be quick enough to catch him. But Dean didn't even appear to notice him stepping back again.

"I.... Fuck, Cas.... Is there.... something I said to you yesterday? I know I did somehow, the reason why I wanted you gone from here and leaving the door wide open," muttered Dean, and the priest froze in surprise. Right.... Sam advised him not to mention about this Lisa person no matter what. It sounded like a very sensitive topic if he was warned like that.

"What you just said.... You said the same thing yesterday, or rather berated it to me, while you were inebriated," he muttered with apprehension. Dean glanced at him, but just briefly.

"I must've been one drunk son of a bitch, then...." he grumbled. "Tch, 'drunk' sounds like a fucking understatement.... I practically sounded like my old ma--" He snapped his mouth shut and scoffed, startling Castiel.

"Uh, sounded like who....?"

".... L-look, Cas, I'm not good with this...." he sighed heavily, shaking his head. "Other than Sammy and a couple of friends.... I don't really know how to act right around people. I only have him because there's no one else for us.... Nobody wants us around, but I don't give a fuck about that. I've always hated the way they would.... look down at us, when we were growing up. Even the mixbloods wouldn't want anything to do with us."

".... Is that.... why you took out your anger on me?" Castiel asked carefully.

"One shit always lead to another with us.... We never catch a break and, well, that has to pent up somewhere," he replied gruffly. He leaned against the outer wall of the garage with his hands stuffed in his jeans pockets, again not making eye contacts with him. "I.... I shouldn't have taken it out on you, Cas. It was only a percentage of the 30-year resentment on me.... but that was enough for you to hate me, huh?"

Castiel blinked at that. Thirty years.... That was pretty much Dean's whole life, he realized. To be bitter at the world at such a young age would warp someone's outlook. And yet, that wasn't a good enough excuse to take away the humiliating action he had done on him. The priest glanced at him, the troubled expression on his face was evident. The fact that Dean was relenting himself to talk to him made him feel conflicted.

Was.... Dean trying to brace himself into making an apology?

".... I prayed on that night, when you decided not to drink my blood, Dean," he admitted. "I begged for forgiveness to God of me giving up.... I didn't want to die yet I was ready to accept my fate. But I highly doubt that He would hate me for my decision. Maybe.... there was another reason why I'm still alive right now, aside from you choosing not to feed on me...."

".... Why do you still have hope on something that doesn't even exist, Cas?" Dean questioned gruffly, and Castiel looked at him with slight disbelief.

"God does exist in a way--"

"He exists, but not to make people happy...." he muttered rather bitterly. "I did say that me and Sam had never caught a break in our lives. Every bad luck had always come in our way.... Why do you think that I don't give a shit about your god? We're demons compared to you, right?"

"And what makes Sam? He believes in God."

".... Much like how my mom did.... But she died believing in them, and Sam'll die believing also. That's why I resent it so much, that it was the start of my thirty-year hate-fest...." scoffed Dean. This time, he looked at Castiel. The green eyes weary of everything in the past few days. That he was tired of what he had been going through. "So what about you....? You can hate me all you want, right? Just one more person on this long-ass list of mine."

"Huh? But I...." Castiel dropped his guard for a moment, wondering what to do next. He.... didn't wish to hate Dean, even though he had hurt him. "I don't.... I mean--"

"You have every right to hate me.... You even mentioned that a monster like me should never exist. Again, just another person on the list," Dean muttered despondently.

"But-- I don't wish to mean that....! I didn't mean to--" Castiel gasped in realization.

"You meant it nonetheless, Cas. So now what....? Would it make any difference if I got what I hafta say....?" he asked. Widened blue eyes stared at him with absolute confusion and apprehension. He didn't want to be like that, wishing that Dean should be dead. That was so wrong of him, it was against everything he had believed in. Wishing death on someone was just as bad as thinking about killing oneself.

".... I'm so sorry, Dean...." he sighed deeply, wringing his hands together as he looked down. His words threw Dean off. The vampire's own eyes widened in puzzlement as his frown deepened.

"There's nothing to be sorry about...." he scoffed. "I was the one who took you outta your hometown, bit you up and drank your blood.... I did things that wasn't the real me.... that I was becoming like those pureblood fuckers who had screwed us over. Sammy was right, I was getting worse over the past two years. Guess it didn't help that it was the reason of my behavior started back then.... Nah, further than that...."

"Still.... I shouldn't have said that--"

"None of this is your fault, Cas.... It had never been that way," he scoffed softly. "I'm always a fucking screw-up. This is why I've ended up like this, hiding out like a goddamn hermit. And it will always be the same thing, until I get my ass handed to me sooner or later by the others.... And until then, I'll figure out a way to get you outta this mess."

"Huh....? You mean.... you'll try to help me, Dean....?" asked Castiel, the apprehension in his eyes gave way to utter surprise.

"It's.... it's the least I can do, but.... if you don't want that, I'll still find a way or something, " he muttered with a shake of his head. "I'm just-- fuck, this is hard...."

".... I.... I understand...." nodded Castiel. "You wish to apologize to me, right....?"

"I'm trying to but.... This shit is harder than I thought."

"It shouldn't be that hard, it's the same as apologizing toward your brother," the priest pointed out, and Dean sighed at that.

"There ain't enough apologies to give to him no matter how many times I've tried to make things right...." he grumbled softly. "The same goes with you.... I don't care that you can't be compelled anymore, Cas, but it's best that you just don't mention our existence once we let you go."

"Y-you will....?"

"It's Sammy's idea, he mentioned it earlier...." Dean muttered with a bitter frown. He now wondered if that were to make any difference.... But he wasn't sure about that anymore. "It'll take a while, anyway.... probably for the next couple of weeks or so get some shit together." Castiel wasn't sure what he was hearing.

It sounded like Dean was trying to make things right for once. But he couldn't help to feel wary about it. He wanted to understand why the vampire had a change of heart now, yet he was concerned of whether Dean could change his mind at any moment. The large sleeves fell over his hands but he rolled them up as he clenched at the wooly fabric. "All right.... I won't cause any more trouble for you--"

"I'm the one apologizing here, not you....!" he scoffed at him, but stiffened when Castiel recoiled. "I.... Just don't make a fuss about it anymore, Cas, okay....?" he muttered quietly. "I'm not gonna drink your blood anymore, there's no use of it anyway. Just get better and clean up, that's all you hafta do in the meantime. That's the deal, okay?"

".... All right, Dean, I understand...." Castiel nodded in agreement. Dean let out a deep sigh, at least it was a start.

"Good, good...." he nodded as he walked up to him. But out of reflex, Castiel stepped back when Dean reached out in an attempt to pat him on the shoulder. That made the vampire frown grimly. He should have expected that.... "Well.... glad I got that covered.... Let's go back inside, Cas," he muttered, walking back to the cabin.

The priest followed distantly after him. He wasn't sure if this will come off at a good start. But.... he was promised to be let go, even though he was not sure of how it will happen. Would he return to Great Falls as a priest he was? Or does Sam have another plan in mind, regarding his freedom....? Dean stepped in first, his eyes caught his brother's as Sam stood up and walked over to him.

"Hey, um...." he mumbled, pausing when Castiel came back in and settled to the couch. "Listen, Dean, I uh...."

"I got it, Sam.... You don't gotta say anything, I understand," Dean sighed.

"But.... at least you've tried, that's all it matters, right?" nodded Sam, with a small encouraging smile. But Dean didn't smile back, on the contrary his frown seemed to deepen as he glanced away.

"I only tried because I was given an ultimatum.... Good thing it worked, huh?" he muttered bitterly, going to the stairs. Sam was taken aback by his response, then remembering what he had said to him earlier. Dean was only doing the right thing now.... because of him threatening to reveal the truth to the other purebloods.

"I'm sorry, Dean, but--"

"It's okay.... That was a pretty good intervention you gave me earlier, got through my head like a bullet, Sammy," sighed Dean, walking heavily upstairs. "I'm going out later tonight, is that okay with you....?"

".... Yeah...." sighed Sam. Now he was the one who felt guilty as he frowned. He didn't mean to say what he had said. But he was up against the wall with his brother's behaviors and.... he also felt the deal they were forced to take was nothing but a wild goose chase. The others were already impatient by their lack of resources, and to keep on going for another year or two.... It was the truth, he was getting tired of it.

Of seeing Dean getting deep into his disdainful behavior with the bullying and the alcohol. Of himself being resented and despised by the other vampires despite of him working hard. It was getting too much.... What purpose do they have here, anyway, beside being errand boys to those arrogant purebloods....? Sighing, he glanced at the couch. Castiel seemed to focus more on the TV, that was good.

But he was worried now.... What will Dean do from now on? Usually, his older brother would stick to his promises whenever he says it. But there were times when he would go overboard on it, especially on him. So what difference would it make with Castiel, he wondered, as he went back to the kitchen.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Hmm... Mm-mmh...." Castiel clenched his eyes as he subconsciously turned his body on the air mattress. Something wasn't right here in his dreamless sleep. Usually it was just the calm darkness but now.... he was seeing some light in it. Like a deep but soft yellowish glow was creeping into it. It was annoying, he wanted to keep sleeping but the glow kept creeping closer and closer. "Ahh.... Mmmh...."

Something wasn't right here.... Very slowly, he peeked his tired blue eyes open, only to blink several time the instant they took in soft sunlight that filled up the cabin. Castiel blinked once more before slowly sitting up. The sleep was fading away, as he looked around. The curtains, they were pulled back. They didn't cover the windows like it usually would 24/7 but with so much natural sunlight inside, it made the living room look rather.... normal. But something wasn't right, it felt odd. Castiel frowned and glanced at the cable box.

8:12. In the morning.

He frowned in utter confusion. What happened here, why were the curtains pulled back? It was surprising, considering that he was used to the darkness saved for the artificial lights. "Strange...." he muttered quietly, as he moved to get off the bed. But as he did so, he heard a ruffling of plastic by his feet.

"Huh....?" Castiel glanced down and saw a few shopping bags. And it looked like they were full of.... clothes. Clothes for him, to be exact, not the hand-me-downs he was given. This was unexpected, he didn't know that something like this would be left for him. Curiosity got the better of him when he peeked through them, but was dumbfounded when he saw a shoe box sticking out of one.

He picked it up, noticing that it was his right size, and opened it. A pair of grey canvas sneakers.

He wondered.... if Sam was the one who brought him these items. But then again, this was sudden.... Especially since Dean had came to him to apologize yesterday, to make things right. And this was it....? Was this part of the apology....? Strange. He wanted to feel appreciative, but he felt like this wasn't enough. Maybe it was because Dean was asleep at the moment, and he couldn't talk to him right now.

Putting down the sneakers, Castiel looked through the other bags, before taking out a packaged comb. That was what he needed right now, but first.... Carefully, he got up and walked upstairs. He paused at the landing, and glanced at Dean's closed bedroom door. No, it was best not to bother him now, as he decided to go to the bathroom instead.

As he closed the door, the tired green-gold eyes opened at the sound of it. Breathing quietly, Dean just stared at the ceiling. Was that good enough at the moment....? He wasn't sure himself, but he knew that it would take more than just new clothes to give to the priest.

"Tch.... fucking shit...." he sighed, closing his eyes.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review.

I'll update ASAP!


	12. Numb To The Pain

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 12- Numb To The Pain**

_"There.... the crusts are off, just the way you like it, Sweetie...." A small peanut butter and jelly sandwich was placed right in front of Dean, who put up a toothy grin. The four-year-old boy looked up at his mother with big green eyes, staring with slight impatience as he then pushed back his light blond bangs. "Hm? What's wrong, Dean?"_

_"You forgot the milk, Mommy...." he pouted._

_"Oh, indeed I did. Sorry about that, Honey...." smiled his mother, moving around the kitchen to get it for him. Behind the child was a wooden playpen, where his baby brother Sam was lying on his back and cooing quietly. The six-month-old infant merely kicked his little fat legs around, as if trying to get some attention, but cooed again when the mother came into view. "I see you, I see you...."_

_"Mommy, when will Sammy gonna talk? All he does is 'neh-neh-neh'...." mumbled Dean, chewing on his sandwich. His mother merely smiled, she picked up the infant before walking to the table and sat next to him._

_"It'll take a while, in about the next few months," she sighed. "But he's getting there, he's a smart baby after all." Dean took another bite as he watched his mother cradling Sam. She then nipped at her slender finger and quickly placed it into Sam's drooling mouth. The young boy knew what she was doing.... but quickly lost interest and continued eating. He wished that he could get rid of his bangs in his youthful mind._

_He wondered why his hair was the same color as his mother, while a little tuft out of Sam's head was similar to their father's hair color. He looked back at his mother, her soft hair fell over her shoulders and down her back in waves, and frowned in slight confusion._

_He hoped that he doesn't grow his hair out like that._

_"Dean, what're you pouting for....?" his mother asked playfully, her soft blue eyes glimmered._

_"Umm.... when Dad's coming home, Mommy?" he asked. He just realized that, his father hadn't been home for the past couple of days. He only thought that he was at work fixing the cars. That was what he believed. His mother, however, frowned lightly at that but quickly put up a small smile._

_"Hopefully soon, Sweetie.... Those cars take forever to get fixed, so I'm sure that he's trying to do it right," she smiled lightly._

_"Oh, okay," he nodded as he finished up his lunch. "He said that he was gonna take me to the park to play...."_

_"Of course, right.... Tell you what, I'll take you out today instead, Sammy needs some fresh air anyway," she nodded. "Does that sounds okay with you?"_

_"Okay, Mommy," grinned Dean, just as the phone rang from the living room. "Oh, the phone, the phone....!" he exclaimed in surprise._

_"All right, I'll get it, Sweetie," nodded his mother, getting up to leave the kitchen. Dean didn't pay attention again, drinking his cup of milk in big sloppy gulps. Knowing that his mother was busy for the moment, he decided to put away his own dishes as he got off chair and picked up the plate and cup._

_".... I don't get it, John, it's been over a week now...."_

_Barely reaching over the sink to put in the dishes, Dean blinked in surprise at distressed sound of his mother's voice. It was hushed as if not to alarm him, but the young boy was more curious than alarmed as he frowned at the area of the short hallway. "...." Biting his bottom lip, he cautiously tip-toed into the hallway. His mother was still talking quietly but still sounded.... frustrated. Like she was mad or something...._

_"John, listen-- no, this is not fair to me or to the kids...." she scoffed in disbelief to the phone. "Having a petty tantrum over something like this, I-- I just cannot believe this...." Dean peeked into living room, his soft grass-colored eyes took in the sight of his mother cradling Sam with one arm as she held the corded device in another hand. Her back was turned to him, her wavy hair ruffled when she shook her head. "Just come home already, John.... Dean's already asking for you...."_

_Dean's mother made a sad disappointing scoff as she listened for a few more seconds, until she hang up the phone. "Idiot.... jerk..." she muttered, before Dean heard her sniffling._

_".... Mommy....?" he frowned in confusion, catching her attention just as she wiped away a stray tear._

_"Oh.... Is there something you want, Dean....?" she sniffled._

_"Um, why are you crying, Mommy....?" he asked uneasily. He didn't like it, he didn't wish to see his mother being sad right now. Not when she promised him that they were going to the park._

_"Oh, right.... I'm just a little mad with your father, that's all," she smiled in reassurance. "Turns out that he's still working at the shop, he probably won't be home until tomorrow...." But the smile was forced, and Dean had a feeling that she wasn't telling the truth. But he didn't want to hurt her feelings to point it out, as he toddled up to her._

_"It's.... it's okay, Mommy," he mumbled with a small smile, his little arms managed to wrap around her leg in a hug. "Dad loves you.... You can't be mad at him, right?"_

_".... I know that, Sweetie," sighed his mother with a much better smile, patting on his head. "Okay then.... Get ready. We've got plenty of time to go to the park."_

_"Oh... oh, right!" Dean realized with a sudden smile. "Can I go on the swing this time, Mommy?"_

_"Sure, Dean...." she smiled softly. "And we'll pick up dinner afterwards. How do you feel about getting pie as well?"_

_"Ah, yeah, yeah!!" Dean exclaimed, all the while his baby brother simply gurgled at his excitement._

_"Then it's settled.... Let's get ready, okay?"_

_"Okay....!"_

The child-like echoing voice in his mind instantly woke up Dean, who inhaled sharply as his eyes snapped open. His sight absorbed in the darkness as it was already night, but his body still felt sluggish. The excessive indulgence of the transfusion bags was counteracted with the alcohol in his system, making him feel rather lethargic. He clenched the bedsheets as he stared at the ceiling. For once, he had slept in the center without moving so much, but he couldn't stay in bed for long.

With his sharp hearing, he could hear the movements of Castiel going around the kitchen. Judging by it, the injury on his leg was healing well. That was fortunate.... At least, he wanted to believe so. He knew he had done far more damage than he had wanted to. The scarring was most definitely permanent, it wouldn't go away for years to come.... Unless....

Breathing deeply, he sat up, rubbing the back of his neck before getting out of his bed. What day was it.... Tuesday? No, it was Wednesday, going on Thursday, as he checked the time on his phone. He hadn't expected to sleep for so long, but it felt like he had needed it after that dramatic bender.

Putting on his jeans and boots, he waited for a moment. Sam.... he was here, holed up in his office as soft sounds of the tapping keyboard buttons were heard. Scratching at his scruffy chin, he hesitated for a moment. He hadn't talked much to his little brother since Sam told him of giving up on the deal. It was hard to look at him in the eye, after all it was his fault that Sam was miserable. "...." It doesn't matter, Dean needed to talk to him anyway, as he opened the door and stepped out of his room.

He ignored the pausing of movements when he then walked down the short hallway and opened the office door. ".... Sammy, you got a minute?" he mumbled, glancing away the moment Sam turned to him.

"Uh, sure.... You're feeling okay, Dean?" asked Sam.

"More or less," sighed Dean. "I just wanna know if you already went out. I need to do a couple of errands, if you don't mind...."

"Oh.... Okay, I already did," he nodded. But he glanced over at Dean, who was sporting a deep frown, and he frowned as well. Of course his older brother would feel hurt over their last talk. Not that he meant to, but at least his honestly got through with him. But it doesn't seem that way with Dean, with the way he was leaning against the doorway as if he wanted to walk out. "Uh, what kind of errands you're going to do? Is there any way I can help with it....?" he asked.

"Nah.... It might take all night, so don't wait up on me," he muttered rather dismissively. "You okay being around.... Cas, right?"

"Sure, don't worry about it," he smiled lightly, but it fell when the other vampire turned to leave. "W-wait a minute, Dean, I got to talk to you about something," he said as he got up. Dean paused, but didn't turn back to face him. "Um.... I know that it was you who gave Cas those clothes. That was nice for you to do that, you know. He asked if it was me but I think he knew."

"Oh.... Guess that's good...." sighed Dean.

".... Y-yeah."

"Hm, okay then.... I'll take the car. Don't feel like zipping around the counties like the Flash," muttered Dean, walking out of the office. It was obvious that Sam was uneasy of talking to him again. But what was there to say anyway....? Sam was always honest about most things whereas he wouldn't reveal his darkest secrets to a rock of all things. But he frowned at that; he had a feeling that he had mentioned something else other than wanting Castiel gone in his drunken rant.

But the priest seemed wary of fully telling him of what he had done the other day. So that was probably it.... But he still wasn't sure..... Walking carefully downstairs, his eyes caught the sight of Castiel eating by the kitchen table. Dean blinked when he took in the sight of him. The chaotic tresses were combed down to a more manageable style, and the whiskers were shaved off, giving his face a fresh clean look. He was almost like a brand-new person.

Dean wasn't sure what actual clothing size Castiel wears, but it was close, seeing that the purple-grey striped shirt fit him well. It was an ugly shirt, in his opinion but it was the least of his worries. Castiel noticed his presence and looked up. The clear blue eyes widened, but they weren't full of fright but they were still wary as he waited for Dean to make the first move.

".... You doing good, Cas?" Dean questioned reluctantly, and Castiel blinked at that.

"I'm.... feeling better, if that's what you're asking...." muttered the priest.

"Good, good...." he sighed tiredly. He hadn't drunk blood last night, and he was feeling hungry. Yet.... looking at Castiel now seemed to make him feel rather ill. And to feed on random humans.... it didn't seem as fun as it used to, not even for sustenance. Glancing away from him, he moved for the door and unlocked the bolts.

"Um.... thank you, for the clothes, I mean," Castiel muttered quietly. There was a hint of appreciation in his voice, but he was still wary anyway. Dean expected that much.

".... Don't mention it...." he sighed. He left the cabin, locking the door behind him. He had forgotten to grab his jacket but it didn't matter, the warm temperature of Spring was lingering in the air as he walked up to his car in the garage. He stepped in and put the key in the ignition, but didn't turn it.

He just sat in the driver's seat, feeling engulfed by the deafening silence. Over three weeks since he had taken Castiel out of his town.... No doubt a few people would still be aware of his disappearance. Like a landlord or an apartment manager, he realized. He remembered going through the priest's wallet during the first night and the address of his state ID was imprinted in his brain. He was glad that that wasn't burned away by his alcoholism.

".... Great," he sighed, starting the engine. He would start with that.... Castiel would have no need for his old life anyway.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Another day went by, and Castiel was left to his own devices, still feeling oddly uncomfortable by the opened curtains. Last night, Sam closed them all, mentioning that he didn't want anybody to come by and looking in. It seems sensible even though Castiel hadn't seen anybody coming near this cabin, with the exception of Sam's girlfriend that one night.

Vaguely paying attention to the television, he rubbed a hand over his thigh. The ache, it was still there. The wound was healing slower than he thought, as he had already changed the bandages this morning. But he was surprised of finding subsequent amount of first aid supplies then. Again, he didn't believe that it was Sam who had gotten this for him, the tall vampire was here all night long.

Not only that, he had found a few more bags of clothes when he woke up. The light blue T-shirt he was wearing at the moment ironically had the saying Namaste-- considering that he wasn't a Buddhist.

Dean definitely had been doing something. He knew for sure; he was half-asleep when the vampire came back just before dawn. In his subconscious mind, he only heard the ruffling sound of the curtains being pulled back but he fell right back asleep in his dreamless slumber until the sun woke him up a few hours later. Also, he found plenty of food in the fridge.... along with a couple of gallon milk containers filled with dark red liquid in the far back.

He had a feeling what they were but that wasn't his concern. The sun was already gone, when he heard sounds of one of the bedroom doors opening. A few seconds later, he heard rushing water from the bathroom. He stood up, feeling his spine aching after stretching his limbs. When did he ate, about five hours ago? Now he was feeling hungry when he thought about it, as he went into the kitchen. By the time he had made a sandwich, he heard someone coming down the stairs. But when he looked up, he only saw a brief blur just before he heard the bolts unlocking.

"Huh....?" Castiel turned to see Dean stepping out within a second before the door shut. He just stood there.... That was strange, Dean didn't even give him a glance let alone a word or two. He then heard the sound of the car driving off until the rumbling noises died down. He wondered why the vampire was in rush, but what was he doing while he was out? He was a tad curious, maybe Dean really was finding a way to let him go without the other vampires finding out.

But then.... Castiel would know that they exist among the humans, since he couldn't get compelled. Then again, Dean didn't care about that anymore. Maybe he was once was gone, he wouldn't be the brothers' problems anymore....

".... I thought so, Dean's gone," sighed Sam when he stepped downstairs. Castiel glanced at him in surprise, noticing that he was only in pajama pants.

"Is.... that concerning?" he asked quietly.

"Don't know. But he seems to be rushing around a lot lately," he sighed. But his expression did show concern as he clenched his jaw.

"Do you have any ideas of what he's been doing?"

"Other than shopping around the clearance sales at Wal-mart to get you clothes, not much," he shrugged, glancing at his casual attire. "And this.... I'm wondering why he's doing this," he pointed out, going to the living room to shut the curtains.

"Maybe.... he wanted me to get some sunlight, since I couldn't leave the cabin," muttered Castiel.

".... Still, he could at least shut them back before leaving," he sighed. "Did he say when he's coming back?"

"He.... didn't say a word to me, he just left," Castiel frowned. At that, Sam glanced at him in slight confusion.

"He did....? Then...." He stopped talking when he sniffed the air, before his hazel-green eyes zoomed in on the fridge behind Castiel. "Blood in there....? When did Dean get some?" he frowned, striding past the priest to open it. "What the.... shit, Dean," he murmured in surprise, taking out the container.

"I've no idea how he had acquired it but--"

"It's deer...." muttered Sam as he uncapped it and whiffed at the liquid. Castiel nearly grimaced when the tall vampire then decided to chug down a few deep gulps, he had never witnessed him consuming blood so this was unsettling to see. "Hmm.... probably drained the animal for this, but why?" he sighed before putting it back in. "Listen, Cas...."

"Huh? Yes....?"

"I think I know what Dean's trying to do here, he's probably looking for ways to get you out of this mess," he muttered. "It would've been nice if it had been done sooner but I'm not complaining...."

"So.... you don't mind with me going away, knowing that my mind cannot be altered to forget the existence of vampires?" muttered Castiel.

"I'm not really sure about that...." he frowned in concern. But he heard. Dean didn't care about him knowing anymore, something that he didn't wish to turn that way. There was a good chance that the purebloods would catch wind of it, he was paranoid about that. Great, he thought, as he let out a deep sigh. "I'll try to do my part if that's true, about Dean letting you go. I'll talk to him once he gets back, okay?"

".... If you believe so, Sam," nodded Castiel, though his voice came out dubious. But Sam didn't seem to notice it as he went back upstairs. The sound of the shower being on was heard but the priest turned his attention to his meal. Even PB&J was worthy for a quick blessing.

Meanwhile, Sam exhaled as he finger-combed through his drenched hair. Under the hot spraying water, his mind wandered to Dean. It was one thing that his brother barely talked to him, but to completely ignore Cas despite offering him things lately was something new. It was different, yet it was just the same.... The last time Dean had acted strange, he was overly happy and helpful toward him, making sure that he was taken care of and never out of his sight.

That was the worst thing Sam could see out of him.... Seeing Dean running himself ragged, forgoing his own needs as well as lack of sleep. Who could put up a stupid grin with dark bags underneath his eyes....? It was killing him to force himself that way.... and it had nearly killed Sam for seeing him like that. And he didn't mean it in a figurative way....

Now he was afraid that Dean might descend to that path again in one way or another. Turning off the water, he got out and wrapped a towel around his waist. He had no need to go out-- Seemed that Dean had done him a favor of getting him animal blood in advance. But that's how it started, he remembered that.... Going straight to his room from the bathroom, he realized that his phone was buzzing on the bed.

It was a text, he noticed when he picked it up, and.... it was from Ruby. He blinked, he had forgotten about the fight he and Dean had over her, which in turn escalated into his older brother hurting Cas and then more fights between the brothers. "Great...." he sighed, sitting down on his bed to read it.

_'Boss gave me free time again. Can I come by this coming weekend?'_

"Bad timing.... we're busy working on our own thing," he muttered out his reply, his thumb tapping on the buttons quickly before sending it. "Sorry about that, Ruby...." Sex was the last thing on his mind right now, he needed to focus on finding a way out of this mess. At least for Castiel's sake, though it seemed to be difficult if Dean wasn't saying much.

He changed into clean clothes then left his room for his office. He needed to speak to Dean once he comes back, as he decided to grab for his laptop and stepped out to go downstairs. Castiel was still in the kitchen, halfway through his second sandwich when he sat across from him. The priest glanced up in surprise and slightly frowned.

He wondered how this will turn out this time. They hadn't said much to one another aside from Sam advising him not to say anything about Lisa. But there was something else that Castiel had forgotten to mention. Putting down his food, he looked up at the tall vampire and let out a hesitated sigh. "Um, Sam...." he muttered.

"Hm? Yeah....?" Sam perked up, his eyes blinked at him.

"There's.... something else that I need to explain to you," he muttered hesitantly. Sam didn't even have a chance to start on his computer, as his expression shifted into concern.

"Like what?"

".... In his drunken rant.... he had mentioned that the reason you two are secluded in the woods.... it might have to do with your.... bloodline," he admitted, expecting a bad reaction out of him. And it was, when Sam's eyes widened in surprise at that.

"I.... I can't believe that," he frowned. "Lisa was one thing, but our bloodline.... Fuck...."

"I'm sorry, I should've mentioned it earlier--"

"No, it wasn't your fault," he scoffed softly with a shake of his head. "What did Dean say to you, Cas?" he asked.

".... That it's cursed, that your family's blood is the reason why you're shunned from your own kind," he muttered reluctantly.

"Wha-- shit, Dean, really....?" he muttered to himself, his jaw muscles tensed up with disbelief. He shouldn't be mad at Dean for this but Castiel knowing this much was hard to look over. "He.... That's all he had said, right? Nothing else?"

"It's just vague. That you two are cursed but that was just it...." Castiel answered honestly. Sam seemed relieved at that, just slightly, but he frowned just the same as he took his phone out and dialed a number.

".... Damn it, he's not answering me," he huffed, trying a second time but to no prevail. "Whatever he's doing, I should ask him the moment he comes back.... But no doubt he'll hole up if I ask him."

"...."

"Um, Cas, just give it to me straight," he sighed, as he glanced at the priest. "I know that it might be unsettling that Dean's doing this.... stuff for you. But at least it's the first step. Are you all right with that....?"

"Um, if it means that I could go home from this, then I'll bare with it," nodded Castiel.

"Yeah.... that's the thing about that, Cas...." frowned Sam, and Castiel blinked at that. "It's.... much too dangerous for you, to go back to your hometown, you should know that."

"Ah, I can't?" he muttered in surprise, his widened eyes staring at the tall vampire. He didn't expect to be let go from this imprisonment, but to go somewhere else entirely....? "Wha... where would I go? To start over in another town--"

"I think we might have to go to another state-- as a matter of fact, possibly two states over," he explained. "An unoccupied one, where there are very few vampires around. That would be the most possible way to keep you safe, Castiel...."

"But.... but.... to give up my old life like that...." Castiel frowned in disbelief with a shake of his head. "I just can't believe it.... Must that happen to me?"

"Seems like it...." Sam frowned apologetically.

"Is that the plan you have for me, then? Where would I go?" he questioned.

"Possibly in the southwest area, Utah maybe-- it's hard to figure this out without Dean around to discuss it," he sighed deeply. "That is, if he bothers to talk to me."

"Is.... there something troubling between you two again?"

"No, it's not that. Dean's going through one of his petty episodes as usual. There's nothing to worry about, Cas," Sam nodded with a light grin.

"Usually when people say that, it would cause more worry...." frowned Castiel. "Yeah, I figure...." Silence fell between them. Only sounds of the keyboards buttons being tapped filled up the air. But Castiel's own mind was buzzing with concern. To leave Montana.... to forget his old life as a priest to do what? This was his only life he knew, he didn't even have a back-up plan for this. What could he do about this....?

"Um...." he started, nearly stiffened when the typing fingers stopped. "You mentioned Utah as a safer state. Why...?"

"Oh.... Zero-vampire state; it's religiously conservative and since it's our law not to make conflicts with those who work in the religious field, we stay away from there," explained Sam. "In Dean's words, it's a real life The _Book of Mormons_ , so to speak...."

"But.... does that mean I could stay as a priest then--"

"Honestly, I don't think so," Sam shook his head with an apologetic frown. "You're still considered _missing_ , Cas.... I even highly doubt that you can use your real name should we let you go."

"Wh-what....?"

"Trust me, Dean and I have done aliases before.... settling here," he muttered. "Just think of it as a witness protection program. This way, the other purebloods couldn't even touch you. You'll be safe that way."

".... I see...." Castiel sighed, but it wasn't out of relief. So he really must start over, to get a new but safe life. But to conceal his identity for his sake-- it shouldn't be a sin to be protected that way. Yet at a same time, starting over was what he dreaded. It wasn't the first time.... that he had to leave, just when he was feeling comfortable. And like before, he would be alone in a new environment....

His half-eaten sandwich left untouched, he just stared down at the plate for a moment. ".... What about Illinois? What if I wish to go there instead?"

".... I-Illinois?" questioned Sam, looking at him. When Castiel glanced back, he stiffened by the apprehensive look on his face. That was unusually strange, to see this vampire-- one with such a violent past, to look this scared with the way his Adam's apple bobbed. ".... Illinois, you say. Why?" Sam asked quietly.

"It's.... it's where I was originally from," he replied. "I'm from Pontiac, Illinois. I used to live there until I was around ten.... then I moved to here. But.... why, is there a reason I can't go back over there?"

".... Yeah, plenty of vamps in that state, it's not good," muttered Sam, seemingly ending the conversation as he went back to his laptop. Castiel blinked at that, wondering of the vampire's obvious hesitation yet didn't wish to question it. Maybe.... there was another reason why he couldn't go there. But the thought of it was interrupted when Sam ceased typing once more and glanced up, looking past the priest at the door.

"That was quick...." he muttered, standing up.

"Huh....?"

It was until a few seconds later, did Castiel heard the rumbling engine sound of Dean's car coming up. He saw Sam tensing up a little, as if bracing himself to speak to his brother, just before the door unlocked and opened. Dean looked weirdly different with a baseball cap on when he walked in but that was the least of the other's problems. "Dean, I need to talk to you for a second," Sam requested.

"Yeah, about what....?" muttered Dean, but he didn't bother to stop as he walked past his brother for the stairs.

"But-- wait a minute, Dean, it's about Cas," he sighed, glancing back at the perplexed human then following after him. "He's just wondering what would happen to him if and when we let him go--"

"It's when, I just came back from Great Falls, talking and compelling his landlord into putting up his shit into storage," Dean went straight to the point. "It was easy-- he thought I was some long-lost cousin who just found out about his disappearance. Not very suspicious for him to question me, though."

"Oh, okay then.... But still, he's wondering where would he have to go," sighed Sam, following him to his bedroom. "I suggested Utah, seeing that's the safest bet but--"

"Utah it is, then. That's step one," he mumbled. Taking off the cheap hat, Dean didn't look at him in the eye as he then moved around in his room. "What's next, Sam....? I know he needs a new identity, so I'll call up someone who knows how to make better ID cards than we did back in the day."

"All right, Dean, but--"

"But what, Sammy? I'm doing what needs to be done, just like you said," he frowned. "So is that it, or do you need to keep nagging me on it?" Sam realized that his older brother was picking up his clothes that needed to be washed before dumping it into a half-full hamper in the corner. "Here.... I already brought new sheets, so burn these," he muttered, picking up the bundled bedsheets stained with old blood and giving it to his slightly confused brother.

"Um, right, okay...." Sam nodded. It _was_ different from before, but he worried just the same. "But I might talk to you some more after you get back from the laundromat. Is that okay with you, Dean?"

"Sure, whatever," Dean nodded.

"Dean--"

"Yeah, what....?" he sighed tiredly as he looked at him. Even with the glowing eyes, Dean seemed listless yet irritated. That he wanted to be left alone to his own devices. Sam knew that, but to work one-sided instead of talking to him for help was just as annoying. Then again, Dean was still hurt by his honesty, and he should have expected that.

".... Never mind, I'll talk to you later," Sam sighed deeply.

"All right...." Grabbing the hamper with one hand, Dean dragged it out of his room and down the stairs. Like with Sam, he didn't bother to look at Castiel who was sitting in the couch this time. But the priest looked up at him, kind of hoping by the minuscule for the vampire to say something to him. If he was feeling comfortable about getting the new clothes or something else. "Um...." he tried to speak up when Dean strolled past him. But Dean ignored him, stepping back out after opening the door.

"Um.... th-thank you for the new clothes," Castiel managed to blurt out. Yet his words didn't make Dean pause; he just shut the door behind him. "...." So that was it from now on....? From being teased and harassed to just being a ghost to the vampire. It made him feel rather unwelcome, which was pointless to feel since he was a kidnapped hostage.

Sitting back down, Castiel frowned, barely listening to the television. Why was Dean ignoring him this way? He mentioned that he wasn't going to drink his blood anymore, but was this his way of avoiding the temptation? By avoiding him completely....? He heard the car driving away again. A moment later, Sam came down, his expression full of distress as he glanced at Castiel.

"Cas, um, I'll be around the back for a few minutes," he said. "You'll be okay by yourself....?"

"Yes.... of course, Sam," responded Castiel. Sam just sighed out of relief, as he stepped out of the cabin. An old empty oil drum was right beside the garage before he dragged it away into the middle between there and the house and dumped the soiled sheets in it. He gave out another deep sigh. There was a good chance that Dean would tune out what he would have to say once he returns. But it was the only way he could try to talk to him, and it wasn't about what to do with Castiel.

Whatever Dean does, he would shut in, not letting anybody help him no matter what. It had always been like that growing up; if it was him, his older brother wouldn't hesitate of helping him out whether if it was to ward off bullies or giving him his share of food before they were old enough to properly consume blood. But the other way around, Dean stubbornly preferred to do things his own way, believing that he wouldn't stoop so low to accept help. Not even from Sam.

Which was why he was able to go to one of the most prestigious colleges in the country, whereas Dean dropped out of high school only a few months into his senior year. Hell, Dean barely passed his GED while his little brother was taking advanced classes, only because 'someone gotta have the smarts in this family'. Getting the lighter fluid from the garage, Sam squirted the liquid into the barrel. He then struck a match and tossed it in, not even flinching when a woosh of flame burst up just inches from his face.

Getting rid of evidence was second-nature to him.... Whether to bury the bodies or setting off fires to erase their prints, it felt so disturbingly normal to them. It was like he was accepting his darker side that way, and he resented that. A few minutes passed until the fire smothered down, with the billowing smoke stinging his sensitive nose. He sniffed, before walking away from it. ".... From Stanford to this.... Not my choice of career, right, Mom....?" he mumbled to himself.

He wished that he knew more about her.... His father rarely mentioned her, and Dean could only provide from what he remembered as a young child. Even when they went back to their hometown, he realized that his pureblooded mother only have a few human friends who had long since left Lawrence. Then came their maternal relatives.... who wanted nothing to do with them after her death. After all, they were 'cursed' to the other vampires.

He remembered meeting some of their cousins when they were young, but the family reunion was nothing but a scornful reason to be blamed for something they didn't understand. Sam glanced back at the can, the bedsheets were completely incinerated now. "Hmm...."

Walking back into the cabin, he bee-lined to the fridge. His hunger was creeping back, but it was going to a different direction. The urge for human blood was right around the corner and he didn't like it. For once, he was glad that Dean had drained a whole deer for this, as he took out the gallon container. Gulping down almost audibly, he managed to consume half of it before feeling satisfied.His sharp teeth came out when he took a deep breath, but he controlled it enough as he put it back in.

He now wondered if Dean would notice the warning signs. It was over a week ago when he last had human blood, and before now he was barely drinking enough animal blood to get by. That wasn't good, as Sam glanced over at the couch. He could hear Castiel's steady heartbeats, the human felt calm and safe around him.

Someone like him.... who had enjoyed the look on his victims' terrified faces before ripping their throats out. Growling deeply, he shook that thought out of his head as he went back to his laptop. The taste of deer blood was still on his tongue, having a grassy aftertaste in it as usual. At least human blood varied based on their different diets.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Castiel woke up to the sound of fabric ruffling, his tired dry eyes fluttered in the dark as he groaned softly. But as he done so, the ruffling sound immediately stopped. What was happening, he sleepily wondered.... He sighed, on a verge of going back to sleep. The moment he did that, the ruffling started up. He frowned. Something wasn't right....

He blinked his eyes open. Natural lighting from dawn was coming in from the window across from him. It was surprising, he didn't expect to wake up like this. Nor did he expect a shadow quietly walking past him to another window. He felt his heart jolted at that and sat up. His movements caught the attention of who was in front of him, his own eyes widened when the green-gold ones stared back.

".... D-Dean...?" he mumbled, sleep left his body almost completely.

"...." Dean's glowing eyes flickered for a few seconds before glancing away. It was like a spectre moving about, opening apart the curtains on the rest of the windows.

"Dean.... Dean, what're you-- I mean, why are you doing this?" he asked tiredly. But Dean didn't answer him, opening one last set of curtains before turning for the stairs. "Dean, please--" The vampire suddenly rushed away, leaving Castiel to blink at his sudden action.

Why? He doesn't get it.... Dean was acting far more peculiar toward him, and it wasn't doing him any good. He only spoke to him once after he promised to let him go. But after that.... it was like he doesn't exist in his eyes, only to be reminded once in a while. He got up and stumbled for the staircase, he himself wondering what he was about to do.

Why was Castiel trying to talk to him, when he was deliberately wishing that he would get out of his hair....? Walking up the stairs, he looked with bleary eyes when he was on the landing, glancing at the closed bedroom. He wondered if Sam was here as well, but of course he would be. And he would hear him going up to Dean's door, but nobody stirred.

".... De.... Dean...." he muttered with hesitation, but didn't knock on the wooden barrier. He was met with silence. Dean didn't even make so much of a growl. "I.... I'm glad and grateful of what you're doing for me.... The clothes, everything.... Thank you, Dean...."

Nothing. Castiel frowned. It was strange that he had expected that and yet he knew that talking wouldn't do any good. With a deep sigh, he went back downstairs. It was after five-thirty but he felt tired as he settled back onto the air mattress. He didn't realize that upstairs Dean was staring at his phone. He just stared at the glaring screen.... Sam just texted him, a minute after Castiel attempted to speak to him.

_'You've heard him. You need to talk to him.'_

"...." Dean put his phone away and buried his head into the pillow. First Castiel didn't want to appreciate what he was doing for him before. But only after the scare tactics he had put on him, the priest seemed to be willing to agree on his terms. Great.... thinking like that was almost parallel to his deal to the other purebloods. But he didn't want to be like that, he didn't wish to be....

He wasn't like them at all, he wasn't like the ones who kicked him in the gut or stomping down his hands whenever he would fight back. The same ones who had proven their powers when they released Sam back to him, a bloody broken shell of his brother who was barely alive.

_"See that....? That is your leverage, Winchester. The only reason you're able to agree to our deal is because without him alive, you're nothing but a waste of breath to us...."_

Michael's cold monotonous words haunted in his memory. And it was true.... Back then, he was truly afraid, of them killing his brother before his eyes and he couldn't do anything about it. It was frightening then to see Sam with so much vicious wounds that not even a human would have survived with such an injury. And yet Sam was willing to go back to their tormentors. He had always known that but he didn't want to believe it. It was always like that, seeing how they were trying to hold it in together despite being unwanted by their kind. Then what was the point....? Him talking to Castiel wouldn't do any good for him, not when Sam was admitting defeat.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Washing his hands in the kitchen sink, Castiel glanced up at the small window above it. The curtains weren't opened apart for some reason. Maybe it wasn't necessary, but it still felt unsettling to have daylight in the cabin. And also during the day, he was left alone. He wondered why vampires must sleep during the day, not wanting to think much of the pop culture that had applied to some truth to the nocturnal creatures.

He glanced around, the television was on low volume, babbling repetitively with worldly news. But he didn't wish to watch anymore-- nothing but wars and conflicts almost on a daily basis. With the existence of vampires that he knew of, he wondered if there were more around worldwide. And of course they would be, disguising among the humans when needed to be.

Sam did mention that the vampiric attributes in the books were mostly false, but he couldn't help but wanting to know what separate the fictions from the truth about these brothers. He walked upstairs, though he paused a bit when glanced at Dean's door. It was obvious that he was asleep at the moment as it was the afternoon. But still.... He should try to speak to him, wanting to know his plans of letting him go at least.

Stepping into the office, Castiel looked around the bookshelves, before noticing some leather-bound books in the one to his right. They appeared old, possibly antique. Sam didn't say that he was forbidden to look at certain books, and looking at those worn wordless bindings was making him curious. Then again, curiosity kills the cat, and he wouldn't want to risk that, as he glanced away.

Something else he could try to read, maybe this one by some author called Vonnegut, as he plucked out the paperback. He stepped out of the office and went back downstairs. This time, he will have the courage to speak to him. He sat by the kitchen table, facing the staircase, though he was more keen on the stairs rather than the book in his hands. Even when he tried to read the novel, it made him puzzled by the plot-- it went from mentioning the A-bomb to a cult-like religion that seemed to mock Christianity.

He skimmed halfway through the book when he heard a door opening upstairs. He stared up, wondering if it was Dean moving around. It made him anxious. He felt more nervous of wanting to speak up, which was strange to him. Why would he feel that way, when days ago he was downright afraid of the vampire....? Maybe his re-established faith was making him a bit brave for the moment. He stood up and fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

Castiel took a deep breath. He must do this, as he mentally prayed for a moment or two. His heart thumped fast when he heard the footsteps lightly going down, until Dean came into view. "...." Dean noticed him for a second then looked past him as he went for the door.

"W-wait a minute, Dean...." Castiel spoke up. Dean ignored him, and he expected that as he cleared his throat. "Dean, please....! I wish to talk to you, about how you're going to plan for my freedom....!"

Again, Dean didn't respond, walking past him then unbolting the door. Castiel huffed in utter disbelief. Why was this vampire disregarding him like this....? "Da.... Damn it, Dean....!" he scoffed out, before he stopped himself. His annoyance instantly shifted into alarm when Dean paused then turned to him. His expression hauntingly unreadable, as he finally acknowledged the priest.

".... I'll tell you later, Cas.... Right now, I got some leadership shit to do," he muttered gruffly, before turning back around and opened the door. That was just it.... no anger, no annoyance or irritation. Just.... despondence....

Dean stepped out, without a backward glance at the stunned priest, and closed it and re-bolted the locks. Castiel just stood there, trying to comprehend Dean's indifferent attitude. But not even ten seconds passed by when he suddenly felt a rush of air by him. He blinked and saw Sam already unlocking and swinging the door open. The taller vampire was still in his sleeping clothes when he then rushed out of the cabin.

"You asshole....!" Sam scoffed, not caring about his bare feet stomping across the ground to get to the garage. Dean had just put his hand on the driver's door but didn't step away when his younger brother grabbed him by the shirt collar. Of course Sam would hear Castiel asking to speak to him, with the irritated look in his narrowed eyes. "What the fuck are you doing, Dean....?! You mean you couldn't spare five goddamn minutes to talk to Cas?!" he growled, teeth bared at him.

"Let go, Sam...." muttered Dean, not looking at him in the eye.

"What the hell's wrong with you, Dean--"

"I got important shit to do, I need to go," he muttered dismissively, ignoring the angered scoff before he was suddenly pushed against the garage wall.

".... You barely talked to me, you don't even speak to Cas, what's wrong with you?" Sam growled lowly.

".... I'm doing what needs to be done. Isn't that what you wanted this whole time?" mumbled Dean.

"What I want-- Dean, look at me, talk to me," frowned Sam. "It's about what I said to you earlier this week, isn't it....? Tch, if you're going on like this because of what I said--"

"What you said? You're thinking about snitching on us about Cas to the other purebloods," his older brother huffed. "You were giving up because of me.... it's always me. You said so yourself, so don't deny that."

"No, Dean. I'm saying that if you have admitted to your mistakes, then none of this shouldn't have happened," Sam frowned in disbelief. "That's why I'm fed up with your crap. Why can't you see that?"

"I do, Sam.... the only reason I wouldn't wanna admit to my shit is because whenever I do, I always feel like shit and end up being worse than before. You'd think you've known that by now." Sam scoffed at that, his tired eyes glowed with disbelief.

"You're not having a self-pity party, jerk, I'm not going to allow that," he scoffed softly. But his comments made Dean let out a short huffing laugh.

"Look who's talking.... You've been on that party train for years," he muttered bitterly. "The difference between you and me is that I was chugging on the engine a helluva lot longer than you. You as a little kid just didn't know...." The hold on him lessened a bit at that, as Sam furrowed his eyebrows.

"What....? What're you talking about, Dean?" he frowned. "I've never seen you feeling sorry for yourself then--"

"Because you were a kid, like I said," Dean frowned back, finally looking at his puzzled face. "Before your vamp-like Mirakuru came into full-force, you were obviously doted on by dear old Dad.... that is, whenever he's around. You've _never_ noticed how he was treating me; he just left me with you once night fell with only a few words. He barely praised me for looking after your ass, only mentioning not to answer the hotel doors before dropping dead asleep when he came."

Sam looked at him. There was no way Dean would truly lie something like that, not with his face void of emotions right now. His anger slowly gave way to perplexity, despite of him still pinning his brother. That must be true.... He had never thought of it before, of how Dean was virtually always around for as long as he could remember. He doesn't even remember a single school day that their father was present despite being a vampire. Dean was the one who dressed him up and packed his bookbag every single day and walked him to and from the one place that they knew they were going to be taken out of for the next town anyway.

He had never considered Dean's feelings back then-- of course he would be oblivious to it, yet at the same time he thought their father was a good provider until he realized that they didn't have a normal upbringing when he got older. And still then.... he wasn't concerned about Dean's own life, not when his older brother was constantly taking care of him.

".... I'm right, ain't I, Sammy....? You can't think of one single time of Dad being hard on you before Flagstaff....?" scoffed Dean, the tone was low and bitter yet his expression was empty. "You were 'our last chance for the Winchesters', as he had always said.... Him an unemployed drunk and me a dropout with six bucks to his name, we were counting on you. That's why I felt helpless and unworthy when this rage of yours came outta nowhere.... I couldn't help you when you needed me the most, and I couldn't stop Dad from kicking your ass whenever you get into fights with the other vamps."

"But.... Dean...." Sam muttered with a disbelieving scoff.

"You know that it's true, don't deny it...." he frowned, trying to push him off but his little brother still held him back. "The only reason we're still alive is because of me. It has always been me.... that you're alive. And that's my fault."

"Wh-what....?"

"Please, Sammy, don't act so fucking dumb....!" he scoffed. "Each and every time in that goddamn cell.... you asked for death in the videos, that you wanted to leave _me_.... That's why I was selfish of taking the deal, so both of us could stay alive, and yet I wonder now if I've made the right decision."

"But...."

"Now get the fuck off me, I'm going halfway across the state and I don't wanna be late," he frowned. The anger forgotten within him, Sam could just stare at him as his grip slackened. There was no other way to debate that, after what they have been through after the other purebloods let them go. ".... Go back inside, I'll deal with Cas tomorrow," muttered Dean, walking back to his car.

".... Wait, Dean...." he sighed.

"What now--" Dean turned around in time to see the taller vampire suddenly gripping his wrist. "Sam, the fuck--" he growled but he saw the hungry glow in Sam's eyes. The anger he had jump-started his urges, as Sam pushed back his jacket sleeve and bared his sharp teeth. Usually, Dean wouldn't react to his skin being pierced, but he winced in surprise when his wrist was bitten harshly.

This action, the way Sam's fangs were tearing through the muscles to drink his blood.... Dean looked away with a grimace, huffing through his nose to will away the pain. Despite of everything, he was always the one who had provided for Sam. He gave him what he could and asked for nothing in return. And it still wasn't enough, as this was proven.... His brother, a grown man, still needed to be fed like an infant. It was also proven that his brother still needed him when no one else wouldn't bother to look after them growing up.

The teeth retracted after several long gulps, the dark red blood dribbled down his chin as Sam lapped over the wound. The skin was already healing over before he let go of his wrist and stepped back. The glow was gone, and he stared imploringly at Dean. But Dean didn't want to glance back, he only fixed back his sleeve before getting into his car. ".... Is that how it's going to be, Dean, to shut me out like this....?" he murmured quietly.

".... You still wanna die, regardless of everything...." muttered Dean. "You call me selfish, yet you didn't consider the feelings of the people who care about us. Not just me. Bobby, Garth, Ellen, Jo.... Hell, I don't think you even consider the one conniving girl who tried to pull off that _Maury_ paternity shit on you. But no, you blamed me for being selfish and stubborn, but at least I _would_ admit to that.... You were the one who kept it in and not bothering to tell me. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from our broken family tree."

"I have, Dean--"

"Again, you didn't bother to tell me.... And do you think that I wanted to keep going like this?" he scoffed, starting the ignition. "I'm tired of this also, of being chained by those ass-monkeys.... But if I die outta this, I'd rather die fighting. Better than waving the white flag like you...."

"...."

".... I'll be back tomorrow night, don't wait up."

The Impala revved out of the garage and out of Sam's sight. But Sam didn't move for a moment, inhaling deeply at his brother's hurtful words. But it was only hurtful because he was hurt.... And he himself was the one who did so, and he scoffed at that.

It all stemmed from him not confiding to Dean about feeding on a human, he should have told him that from the start.... No, it was much further than that, with each terrible events stacking one another like wobbling pieces. The day that he fully snapped would be when the pieces tumbling down, there would be no way to come back from that.

That was probably why the others had locked away his grandmother. He only knew that she was unhinged, bent on harming both humans and vampires. But unlike him, she wanted to do it, but that was all he knew.... as well as other family secrets. Still tasting the bitterness of Dean's blood in his mouth, Sam strode back into the cabin.

Castiel wasn't in the living room or the kitchen. But he knew for sure that the priest hadn't tried to slip out when the brothers were arguing. The subtle scent of fear was in the air, he sniffed then went upstairs to notice that the bathroom door was closed. ".... Cas? Castiel, you in there?" he muttered quietly.

".... Yes...."

".... I'm sorry. Dean's not...." _Not being himself._ That was a massive understatement, as Sam let out a deep sigh. "I cannot vouch for his actions, I'm sorry about that.... But I want to help, finding a way to get you out of this, but there's nothing much I can do if my brother won't let me help."

".... It's all right, Sam," Castiel muttered quietly through the door.

"No it's not," sighed Sam, his fists clenched and unclenched a few times. "I.... I'm trying my best here, Cas. I know that you don't trust me as much as before--"

"It's not that...." The tall vampire stepped back when the bathroom door opened, surprised when Castiel blinked wide-eyed at his appearance before remembering the dried blood on his chin. "I, uh.... I do see you as a person who means well. But at the same time...."

"I get that. But if it makes any difference, most of the people that I've had hurt were no saints."

"As a priest, it's still wrong to me," Castiel honestly replied with a shake of his head. "You should know that, Sam, that's not the thing I could ever look over. I'm sorry...."

"Yeah...." nodded Sam, his mind flickered to the memory, of the blood curdling scream when he torn into his first victim's chest. He inhaled at that, only he and Dean knew of what he had done.... Of the first taste of his darker side coming through with absolute glee. He glanced at the priest and his body relaxed in resignation.

He had forgotten about it all along. Castiel _was_ a priest, after all....

"Cas, can you wait in the office for a good while....? I think I got an idea," he requested.

"Huh?"

"Give me a minute to wash up. I'll tell you what you need to know," he nodded. "Is that all right for you, Cas?"

".... Okay, I understand," muttered Castiel, walking to the room at the end of the hallway. Sam followed after him, but detoured to his room for clean clothes. He could feel his heart beating faster by the minute with anxiety and he gulped. He couldn't believe that he was doing this.... His brain kept telling him to back out what he was planning to do. But he must do this. After finding some clothes, he looked around and his hazel-green eyes fell on the highest shelf of the bookshelf right next to his bed, staring at a worn-down Humanities textbook he used to read from Stanford. ".... It's now or never...." he sighed, putting up a small sad smile as he glanced away.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

"...." Castiel hadn't expected this at all. Spending weeks in the cabin with his faith being stifled, the thought of him listening to Sam's confession was a nothing short of a shock to him. Sitting in the vampire's clean bedroom, he looked at him pacing slowly in preparation and took a deep breath. "Do you really wish to do this, Sam....? To confess to me about your sins, shouldn't it be unusual for a vampire?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know but I might be the first one to do so," sighed Sam.

"But.... whatever you must say to me-- I know that Dean have known much of your actions," he commented.

"Yeah.... Much, but not all...." Sam stopped pacing and sat across from him on his bed. He hunched over with his arms on his spread lap and exhaled. "Castiel, what I got to tell you.... this is the first ever sin I've ever committed," he muttered, glancing at him.

"Huh? Your first sin, you say?" Castiel questioned in disbelief.

"Yeah.... I'm not going to outright say it, I mean.... It's the shit that was leading up to it," he muttered, his initially nervous tone going more anxious and hesitant. But he still wanted to keep on going as he cleared his throat. "It.... It all started with me leaving home for college, or rather me being kicked out of the house by my father. He was getting sick of what was I becoming, he had been a hard-ass on me since I was sixteen and couldn't deal with me rebelling and fighting against him...."

Castiel, finding himself reverting into his priestly professionalism, nodded with understanding and watched him with focused concern. "Is your father still not in your life now, Sam....?" he asked quietly.

"No.... he's been dead for years," Sam shook his head, and the priest blinked at that in surprise. "Drank himself to death instead of properly consuming blood. Even as a pureblood, I'm surprised that he didn't drop dead sooner from the constant liquor runs." The way he was mentioning his father sounded almost scornful but also hurt, Castiel noticed that but he let him continue. "He believed.... that there was something wrong with me, that I have this rage that will cause a ruckus among the other purebloods. And in a way, he was right."

".... How so?" Castiel asked when given the cue. Sam breathed a couple of times and glanced down.

"Like I said, it started when I went to Stanford, in California...." he sighed. "I was around humans, but I controlled my urges by substituting on animal blood. Then, it was simple hunger, I wasn't going out to slaughter them on a whim. I was okay, felt about as much normal as I could be. Plenty of times, Dean had visited me and we would hang out over the weekends...." Sam paused, clenching his large hands together as he glanced back at Castiel.

It was unusual to see the priest this composed when the past several days he had been on an emotional tailspin. Castiel was simply waiting, his hands placed on his knees as his clear blue eyes watched with patience. ".... It was then I was in my second year, around Spring semester when I..... I saw what caught my eyes, " Sam said quietly, and Castiel blinked at that.

"Really? What was it, Sam....?" Castiel muttered.

"Not 'what', Cas.... It was 'who'...." Sam replied with a small smile.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Trying not to use his vampiric abilities to just rush right in, Sam jogged into the specialized bookstore with an annoyed huff. He had completely forgotten to pre-order a much needed textbook about Humanities before the break. It was stupid of him, he was usually prompt and prepared on his education, especially since it was the scholarship that was paying for it. Breathing heavily, he felt the sweat on his forehead with the way his bangs were sticking to the skin._

_"Hah, uh-- hahh.... Excuse me," he panted, strolling up to the cashier. "Excuse me, Ma'am, do you still have the latest edition of this textbook, please?" he requested, handing over a piece of paper._

_"Oh.... I'm so sorry, dear. There is one left in stock but it's on hold for a student," she frowned after checking the inventory on the computer. The news made Sam grimace in disbelief. The one time he had to mess up, the gangly vampire teen thought as he frowned. It would mean that he must use the last editions in the library-- which he doesn't get how it would be different from the new one now-- or scour the web to get an used one. Maybe he should call Dean or Bobby up to help him on it, though his older brother would probably laugh it off._

_Then again.... Dean probably wouldn't have enough money to do so. The last time he was here, he spent most of the weekend hustling in bars. Sam only spent time with him for barely six hours if not counting the day time before he went back to their drunk father. Seemed that every dollar Dean garnered, it went down the drain by John's alcoholism. Dean seemed to know that as well, his usual cocky expression often dampened with anxiety and somberness when the visits would come to the end and he had to go back._

_But lately, his older brother mentioned that John had been going on a few road trips himself, at least when sober. Sam wasn't curious to know more of it, anyway.... His father hadn't talked to him since he was kicked out of the house, angrily and drunkenly saying that he could never be like a human with a normal life. He understood then that Dean couldn't prevent that heated argument, yet he supported his decision to go to college, he wanted Sam to have a better life than living in constant poverty._

_Even Bobby supported him-- giving him a chunk of his life savings to help with the boarding and books. Maybe he needed to call him up again to help with getting this particular book, as he sighed deeply and walked away from the cashier. "Great...." he sighed._

_But just as he was about to leave, he looked up in time to see someone rushing right in. "Ah--" The person stopped in an effort not to bumping into him, but the books in her arms tumbled out and fell to the floor. "Oh shit, sorry....!"_

_"It's okay. Here, let me help...." nodded Sam, kneeling down to pick them up._

_"Oh, thanks a lot...."_

_"No problem, I, uh...." When Sam glanced up at her, he blinked in sudden surprise at the young woman standing over him. He could smell that she was a human.... but her appearance was what making him feel a little awe about it. Long dark blond hair curled around her heart-shaped face, her greyish green eyes were wide and glimmering. Her small plump lips parted since she was panting, obviously from running to get to here._

_"Umm, hello...?" she nodded, taking him out of his distractions._

_"Oh, heh, right," he grinned sheepishly. He stood up, towering over her by at least a foot in height when he gave her her books. "Here you go.... Looks like you were coming in to get a certain textbook, huh?"_

_"Yeah, about Humanities," she sighed and Sam smiled in sympathy as he nodded._

_"You're out of luck then. Out of stock saved for one on pre-ordered."_

_"Pre-ordered? Oh, good! I thought it wouldn't have come through....!" The girl's expression lit up in relief. Sam could only smile, though he wished that he had done the same as her. "Oh.... sorry, I got the last one and you just--" she frowned._

_"No, it's okay. I could ask for my uncle to help me out, It'll be fine," nodded Sam._

_"But.... Well, I'm only gonna need it for this semester then it's gonna sit in the corner of my dorm room for the next couple of years," she sighed lightly. "You're taking the same class as me, right? Maybe we could share the book together."_

_"Together....?" Sam blinked at that proposition. He didn't know this girl, never seen her in the first year and a half of college. But Stanford was a pretty big university, and judging by the sold-out textbook that he needed, it felt like a coincidence that this girl just bumped into him the moment he was about to leave. "Hmm, I don't know. That's a nice consideration but I need to learn how to do things on my own," he shrugged._

_"Why, because I'm a girl and you won't accept help?" she playfully questioned, and Sam snorted out an awkward chuckle._

_"No, I'm used to being babied by my silly big brother for most of my life and I just want to prove to him that I could do it by myself," he grinned._

_"Cute.... But it doesn't mean that I mind sharing it with you," she smiled at him. The gangly vampire saw it and felt a tingle in his cheeks. It wasn't the first time that he reacted to a girl that found him interesting but this felt different from the usual childhood crush. He grinned back shyly, flipping back the boyish bangs from his eyes as he looked at her._

_"You want to share with the guy who failed at getting one simple book?" he grinned. "Oh, I feel so useless....!" he joked, clutching at his heart with a fake pout._

_The girl giggled at that, her own cheeks tinted with a light blush when she tried to stifled it. "Like I said, cute.... Hope that you're just as smart, um...."_

_"I'm Sam, Sam Winchester," smiled Sam with a nod. "And you....? I think I need to know my soon-to-be study buddy's name."_

_"Nice. My name's Jessica Moore, but my friends call me Jess for short," the girl smiled._

_"Jess...." Sam liked how her name sounded, so genuine and nice. "Jess.... nice to meet you, Jess...." he smiled lightly._

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review.

I'll update ASAP!


	13. What Is And What Should Never Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you hadn't noticed it do far, I've taken plenty of references of pop culture about vampires. I'll mention it one way or another within the story later on, unless you can guess some of the references!

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 13- What Is And What Should Never Be**

"So.... You fell in love with this girl, who happened to be a human," Castiel commented with an acknowledged nod. It was surprising, he could admit to that. But since it was a confession, he was treating it like any other as he stared steadily at Sam. Sam, pausing from his story, seemed worn down at the moment and that was only the first part. He took a deep controlled breath and nodded.

"You'd be surprised...." he muttered softly. "Since humans are usually unaware of a vampire's true nature, they're usually easier to talk to than other vamps. Growing up, I've rarely been around my own kind so I'm used to being around humans. But this one girl, Jess.... She was different from the rest. Out of all the other guys, me-- a tall scrawny nineteen-year-old-- I was perfect to her eyes." A small smile graced his lips but it fell just as quickly as he glanced down.

"Sam....?" muttered Castiel. He wondered, the girl he was mentioning.... was this a part of his sin he was going to reveal....?

"At first.... we were just hanging out, sharing over the expensive textbook during our Humanities class," he sighed deeply. "But, I was having some feelings for her. She was smart, obviously, but also kind and funny and very easy to talk to. I felt so relaxed around her and I let my guard down. California was a pretty big state when it comes to the vamp population, but I didn't worry much since it was unoccupied. I didn't need to look over my shoulder because I was going to school during the daytime. Pretty strong-willed for a pureblood like me."

"But...." Castiel could tell what was coming next when Sam exhaled heavily and glanced back at him.

"We were going steady by the time Spring semester was coming to an end.... Dean didn't suspect that I was dating then; he jokingly thought I should go and sneak on sorority girls like a peeping tom since that was one of his college fantasies. But, when I finally told him about Jess.... Well, he was not surprised, yet it was surprising still....."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_"Can't believe it, Sammy.... I just cannot believe it," Dean chuckled happily, snapping open a bottle of beer with his teeth before giving it to him. Sam's twentieth birthday had already passed a couple of weeks ago but he was making it up with an impromptu celebration. Sam was just slightly taller than his brother, but he was obviously youthful with his boyish haircut and outfit consisted on a varsity sweatshirt and Converse sneakers. Certainly a sore thumb at a sports bar full of middle-aged football fanatics, but a right amount of compelling warded off the suspicions, as he grinned at his older brother's reaction._

_"What? You want me to come home with a dude, like you?" he scoffed with amusement. "Last time I remembered, you once dated a couple of people in college, didn't you?"_

_"Hey, I was picking up chicks **and** dicks at some of those colleges, a pretty good accomplishment for a high school dropout like me," grinned Dean. "Don't you remember Aaron, though? He went to some Hebrew school when we were hanging out a couple years back."_

_"Yeah, he was the same age as you yet he looked thirty with that beard of his," smiled Sam in remembrance. "How both of you fell out again? You, a vamp, was scared of his cousin or something?"_

_"Shut up, bitch. That dude was massive, like Big Show or the Hulk," he huffed. "Nah, it was a mutual break-up, no feelings hurt. Wish I could talk to him now, though, seeing how he's dealing with that crazy gramps of his. But enough about me.... Now tell me more about this Jess. I thought you were just some friend-zoned geek to her but hey, I'm happy for you."_

_"Are you really....?" asked Sam._

_"C'mon, baby brother, you seem serious about her and I can tell," Dean grinned fully with his teeth, and Sam knew that he was being honest. "So.... what's it like, you two go out for dinner, watching her eat and stuff like a creepy nightstalker?"_

_"We can eat human food, you know that," he chided. "And I'll have you know that I once ate an entire container of hummus just because it's good."_

_"Hummus? Ew, it's like you're not my brother anymore," joked Dean, taking a chug of beer. "But that's nice. It'd be too weird to watch her only eat. What else, be honest with me here--"_

_"We didn't have sex, if that's what you're thinking," Sam deadpanned._

_"Damn.... I was hoping you would get some human tail while at college, you damn prude," he chuckled and his little brother chuckled as well. It was fun, he was used to Dean's crude but humorous moments and he enjoyed it just the same. "Ahh, Sammy, you're such a gentleman, better you than me."_

_"Uh-uhn, don't go there, jerk," smirked Sam. "You're not even her type, Jess once mentioned that you look like an extra from **Grease 2** when she first met you."_

_"What, not the first one? John Travolta was the shit!"_

_"Yeah right...." Sam took a few gulps of his beer and his expression sobered a bit. "So.... What's good for you, man? What've you been doing?"_

_"Hmm, well.... we moved, again. Some shithole town in Colorado, not exactly like **South Park** but it's better than the last place we were in," he sighed. 'We'.... he didn't exactly address their father but Sam frowned just the same. If John had mentioned about his younger son, Dean would have told him straight out. "It's a bit harder, though.... There's a mixblood community a town over but they steer clear of us, probably because we're purebloods but then again I could care less...."_

_"Sounds like there's something else, Dean...." muttered Sam, but Dean nodded as he took another swig._

_".... Money's tighter than leather pants, Sammy. I'm trying to hide my stash away from the old man to keep our shit together," he nodded. "To be honest, I only got enough for gas money plus my birthday gift for you."_

_"Ah, if that's the case then--"_

_"No, Sammy.... don't worry about me, okay?" Dean grinned in reassurance. "You stay here and study, become a lawyer just like you wanted. You'll be a vamp Johnnie Cochran for all I give a damn, bailing me out whenever I get into bad shit." That made Sam smile though he was still worried. Of course the money would be tight if their father kept on guzzling down cheap liquor. He wondered if Bobby knew about this but just the same Dean would be stubborn to ask for financial help. That was one of his older brother's vices._

_"Oh, speaking of presents, here.... Happy Birthday," he smiled, holding up a plain gift bag._

_"Wow, thanks!" Sam took it and peeked inside, nearly huffing out a chuckle when it turned out to be a button-down flannel. "Either this is a joke gift or you're really that broke," he grinned when he took out the folded article. It wasn't hard to see in the dimly lit bar with his eyes but he could tell that it was an ugly blue and grey striped pattern._

_"Hey, they had an orange and brown one but I didn't have enough dough to get two!" laughed Dean. "They didn't have your size but I think you'll grow out of it!"_

_"Geez, thanks a lot, Dean! I'll treasure it....!" smirked the tall vampire in a sarcastic way. Yet he truly appreciated it nonetheless. It came from the one who wanted him to be happy after all...._

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"It was great, Dean didn't have any problem of me dating a human.... He had done few relationships like that, but he was the type that often hit-it-and-quit-it while me myself actually want to have a girlfriend," sighed Sam. "I've never had the privilege to settle down in one spot for more than a few months. And I didn't want to take it for granted. It was awkward at first, considering that I kept to myself most of the times. Plus, I was wearing sunglasses in my classes. Our eyes are much too sensitive for natural sunlight; so I fibbed to Jess that I had an eye condition. Good thing she believed it although she didn't mention it when we first met-- I forgot it when I was rushing for the bookstore....

"Summer break came, and I stayed with my uncle Bobby for a good few weeks. Talked to her everyday on the phone. Heh.... My uncle teased me about it, calling me a lovestruck puppy. And Dean teased me the same way, he would often say that I was whipped even though I didn't get to third base yet...."

"Third base....?" blinked Castiel, and Sam scoffed lightly in bemusement.

"Consummate the relationship, I mean," he nodded with a quick awkward frown. "Anyway, I--"

"W-wait a moment, Sam...." Castiel muttered. "This uncle of yours, he seems to the caretaker for you and your brother whenever your father's absent, correct?"

"Um, for the most part, yeah, when we were growing up," he replied. "But he couldn't exactly take us in as a legal guardian. Considering that he's.... well, a human." The priest blinked at that but didn't question it. It would make sense that Sam was more comfortable around humans as a child yet at the same time he wondered how that person felt about raising a vampire who consumed blood. "It's not much to worry about, Cas," Sam assured him as he had read his mind. "He's like a father figure for me, I'd never thought of hurting him...."

"Oh, I wasn't thinking it like that," Castiel apologized.

"It's okay. If it makes you feel any better, Dean would rather shit his pants than dares to disrespect Bobby, regardless of us being purebloods," he joked lightly. "Anyway.... As usual, Dean would come by the house to hang out...." he said, his expression somber now. "He worked on small jobs here and there, a piece of his earnings hidden away from Dad so he could give it to me. He insisted on it, that was his stubborn personality.... But, like I said, I didn't want to be a burden on him, so when I went back to Stanford, I got a job nearby the campus."

His expression even more grim, Castiel noticed that, and he felt a little anxious. Was it coming up now....? Sam swallowed and wrung his hands together, his hazel-green eyes seemed to dim at the thought of it. "While working, I came across this.... one guy, who knew Jess for a while before she and I started dating. He was nice, friendly.... he was my friend. That was.... I thought he was...."

"What do you mean by that, Sam....?" Castiel questioned with concern.

".... I was very gullible, thinking that I could be as normal as I can by working hard and trying to make friends," he muttered somberly. "Jess knew that I could be a little sheltered but I wanted to try for her, to become friends with her friends, starting with that one guy...."

"What.... what was his name, Sam? Do you remember....?"

"It would never go away no matter what...." he sighed deeply, looking straight into his eyes. "His name.... his name was Brady...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_"Hey there, Sam! You're getting off any time soon....?"_

_Sam perked up, the rambling pop music resonated in the music store didn't hurt his sensitive hearing when he heard someone calling his name. It sounded annoying to him, all warbled and chatty. Guess that didn't help from the years of listening to classic metal and hard rock that warped his opinions. Wearing the ugly striped flannel he had gotten for his birthday last year, he unbuttoned it to reveal a hand-me-down T-shirt with a faded **Pink Floyd** print on it._

_It was chilly this morning but the unusually warm weather was out of the blue, and obviously the AC unit wasn't on in the muggy store. "In about twenty minutes....! Unless the manager doesn't notice me clocking out early," he grinned, taking off the flannel. He turned to the source of the voice, behind the Latin aisle, and saw a tall blonde guy._

_The guy looked out of place in the music store. In fact, compared to Sam's casual wear, he was wearing a business suit. With a big charming grin, he walked around the aisle to go up to him. "Come on, it's Friday, I'm ready to get out of this monkey suit," he grinned._

_"Hey, you're the one who's doing Business! I'm the dude with Pre-Law, Brady," smirked Sam._

_"You're a Pink Floyd fan doing Pre-Law?" Brady joked._

_"Ah, no. Just something of my brother's, he's a rock nut," he chuckled. "I know it's Friday but I got plans with Jess after work, sorry...."_

_"I had to ask," sighed Brady. "So.... what're you guys gonna do tonight? The usual dinner and movie, Sam?"_

_"A play-- one of those outdoor Shakespeare plays in the park. I hope it's Hamlet though, I need to hear family drama worse than mine," he muttered with a light smirk._

_"Really? What happened....?"_

_"Uhm, not much. Money problems, as usual," he said, which was the half-truth. Again, financial hardship fell on Dean and their father, but on a bright side John's alcoholism seemed to lighten up as a result from what he was told. Yet, Sam could still care less, since he still hadn't gotten a call from him personally. Halfway through his third year, and it was like his father pretended that he didn't exist. "It's nothing to worry about, Brady. Grades are better from luxury, after all."_

_"Yeah, it explains why you and Jess shared an apartment instead of getting a bachelor pad," chuckled Brady._

_"Well, I'm not a bachelor, unlike you," he smirked. "Come on, Brady. I thought you'd get with someone by now. You're a nice-looking dude-- and I mean it in a platonic way. Plus your family's paying for your education and more. What, you're hoping to shack up with another Ivy League girl?"_

_"Nope, as much as I'd like to, I'm busy with my internship and my own classes," he replied._

_"Yet you want to hang around with me and chug on beer tonight," Sam chuckled, going past the cashier desk to put away his name tag and sign off his card. "Sorry, Brady. Maybe the next time, you could hang out with my jerk of a brother like the last time."_

_"Hmm.... maybe," nodded Brady, though he frowned a little. But Sam didn't seem to notice it, as he walked past him._

_"You coming, Brady? I can spare two hours with you before I meet up with Jess," he said, glancing over at him._

_"Yeah, sure...."_

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Inhaling deeply, Sam kept staring at Castiel, actually waiting to see some reaction out of him. The priest seemed to notice how distressed and uncomfortable he was becoming as he was dwelling deeper into his story. But Castiel was still composed, though he shifted forward while listening. "Brady, he.... he came from a much better life than me, not that I'm envious of it," muttered Sam. "Father's a VP of a pharmaceutical company, good life, good education. As for me, I'm simply surprised that I became a straight-A student with all the constant moving. In fact, I only managed to score a scholarship to Stanford because I used Bobby's address; as if any college could accept me if I was squatting in a foreclosed home...."

"I see...." sighed Castiel. "Sam.... why was your father against your decision over something like that? Any parent would be ecstatic of their child receiving a higher education."

Sam scoffed at that but it wasn't out of annoyance. "I mentioned that I got this.... rage, that I would lose control and hurt people. It came out when I was around sixteen, damn near killed a neighboring vamp because I secretly kept a pet dog. He drank him dry and I flipped out. My dad wasn't.... he wasn't hard on me until he found out what was happening to me. That I went from an apple of his eye to.... a freak that he didn't want around...."

"Wha-- how could you say that, Sam....? You think he was really like that...?" the priest questioned in surprise, and Sam's expression seemed to darken at that.

".... It's a long story, Castiel, I'll save it for another time...." he muttered with a deep sigh. "Dean.... he seemed to be the only one who's worried about me. I mean, he really didn't mind of me being with a human, like I said. But.... he was a bit concerned that I'm moving so fast with her. He worried if she would find jars of animal blood in the fridge or seeing my eyes glowing in the dark. I knew better and I was careful, putting on the lights the moment it became dusk and keeping my diet away from prying eyes.

"And as for that.... heh, third base," he grinned lightly, glancing down at his lap from the fond memory, "it was.... The first time we've done it, no words can really describe it. I was careful about it; get too overly excited and your fangs would pop out by mistake. Jess, fortunately oblivious, thought that I was being a gentleman about it. And my dumbass brother joked that I must've been a virgin if I've waited too long into the relationship...."

With a deep huff, Sam clenched his jaw and glanced up at Castiel. "I was falling deeper and deeper into this relationship with Jess, enjoying being with her so much, that I really couldn't find myself being with any other girl.... She supported me on my career path, of studying law. She understood that I was working so hard that I couldn't spend much time with her outside of home or work. She knew since first meeting with Dean that I have family problems, and that this was my only shot to get a better life. But.... aside from getting good grades, I was considering.... actually considering to get that life with her...."

"What do you mean by that....?"

".... I couldn't spend that much time with Jess during those months," Sam muttered. "Brady was her friend first and often looked out after her in my absence...." His large hands cracked audibly into fists, his nostrils seemed to flare from dwelling deeper into his past, before letting out a deep growl.

"S-Sam....?" Castiel questioned in alarm, seeing that his hazel-green eyes were now glowing.

".... I should've seen the warnings back then, even as a vampire I didn't even pick up the cues," he mumbled, his tone rumbling with regret yet also with anger. "The times I was with Jess, she was often distressed about something, as if wanting to tell me about it. But she would shrug it off whenever I asked, and I thought it was schoolwork she was worried about. Then again, I was distracted with my own problems, coupled with Dean's visitations. It was becoming less and less frequent, and I knew. My Dad fell off the wagon, there were times when I could hear the arguments between them whenever my brother would call me up.

"It was obvious that my Dad knew about him hiding money and demanded every cent of it for liquor. And it didn't help that Dean would drink some of his stuff, resulting in more arguments and fights. But he would always tell me that the problems at home weren't my concerns-- 'Stick to doing your school shit and you'll get into law school before you know it', that was always his saying.... He was right, but at the same time I couldn't help but feel uneasy about it. Dean wasn't talking about it, and Bobby was in the dark so he couldn't help. I had no choice but living my own normal life.... Of what was I thought it could be normal...."

Sam suddenly stood up, startling Castiel, but the tall vampire walked around the bed. On the bookshelf next to it, he reached up to take out the worn down Humanities textbook from the top shelf. He then reached into the vacant space, before taking something out in his closed fist.

".... Dean didn't know of my plan back then, nobody did.... until after it happened," Sam muttered somberly. He walked back and opened up his hand before Castiel, who blinked in sudden surprise.

"What....?" he gasped softly. On Sam's opened palm was a small velvety blue box, and he immediately knew. "Even though you're a.... You really considered it, Sam?" he questioned when he looked up at him. Sitting back down, Sam nodded with a grim frown. The box appeared much smaller as his fingers indolently examined it.

"I was.... I mean, the reason I was working so much, was to save up for this...." he mumbled. "Jess had no idea.... It was obviously a surprise, I bought it a week before.... a week before Halloween."

"Halloween?"

"Yeah.... Not a fan of it, even for a vamp like me," he nodded. "But.... it was an awesome celebration over the weekend. I just scored 174 out of 180 on my LSAT, and I had an interview for a law school that I applied to the following Monday since I was on my final year...."

"You were planning to do it then?" asked Castiel.

"No, not exactly.... But Dean, he popped in for a surprise visit that night, after I told him the good news earlier that week," he muttered quietly. "And when I meant by popping in.... he thought it was fun idea to break into my apartment and jumped me when I was sleeping that night. Adverse effect of 'staying up' in daytime."

"And....?" the priest questioned warily. Sam blinked at him, the glow in his eyes were gone but the sadness and guilt replaced it.

"I was, honestly, happy that Dean came by," he nodded. "I hadn't seen him for over two months, though he liked being the usual asshole for busting in like that.... But he thought he would surprise me with a quick weekend trip. I was initially against it, kept telling him about my interview on Monday morning. But he was pretty persuasive even without the compelling powers. Even Jess suggested it, saying that I needed to have some fun after all that hard work. So I gave in, jumped into the Impala and we went off to a neighboring county....

"And.... that was when.... I had the most heart-wrenching moment happened to me...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_"That.... was the most idiotic thing you have done, Dean," chuckled Sam, when Dean came out of the shower after one of his brother's stunts led them being ran out of a small town of Jericho. The sheriff and his small crew of cops found out that the older vampire was using fake credit cards and was about to chase them down over the bridge. With quick thinking, the brothers jumped over, though Sam smartly hanged onto the railings and Dean fell into the muddy ravine below._

_They were lucky that the cops didn't follow them back to another town, where they were hiding out in a low-rate hotel. Scratching through his damp hair, Dean could only sulk as he put on some clean clothes. "Shut up.... how am I supposed to know that the damn river was shallow?" he grumbled._

_"You planned to jump in? Are you serious?" he smirked._

_"No but five-o was on our tail, bitch, I panicked a little, all right?" he scoffed at his little brother._

_"Well you were using three different cards, plus you smart-mouthed a cop who caught you doing it. 'My boobs are real'-- that's real rich coming from you." As much as it was funny, Sam couldn't help but feel a little concerned about the money problems once again. Considering that he wanted to become a lawyer, he didn't expect Dean to commit credit card fraud. But he didn't want to worry him about the abysmal situation, instead he checked the time on his cell phone._

_Night had just fallen but they got a few hours to spare, before he needed to go back to Stanford. He smiled a bit, he hoped that Jess would make some homemade chocolate-chip cookies once he gets home. And knowing Dean, he would stick around and try to eat it all. He had done it before, saying that they were the best cookies in the world. Human food be damned, Sam thought with short chuckle._

_"What's so funny? Got a message from Smurfette or something?" Dean smirked lightly when he tried to peek over his shoulder. Sam scoffed and put his phone away._

_"Really, Dean? You saw that one shirt on her before we left and you stuck with the nickname," he sighed._

_"What? I know she's taken. Too bad it's with you, you nerfball," he grinned. "It's been, what, two and a half years and you two are still steady. I highly doubt you're that great in the sack."_

_"Ew, please. That sounds weird hearing from someone like you," sighed Sam._

_"Why? We're both adults, but sometimes I really don't wanna know about your sex life--"_

_"Yeah, like I want to hear yours. Half the time you're around, it always ends up with one of your latest sex-capades whenever we talked. And let me guess, sexy twin sisters-- Oh wait, sexy twin brothers, that's a good one."_

_"Cute, you think you're that cute, huh?" grinned Dean, packing away the soiled clothes. "And just for the record, I banged a triplet a while back-- and a contortionist at that."_

_"Boy or girl?"_

_"A chick this time, I'm trying to get a pattern here with boy-girl-boy-girl but sometimes my dick won't let me do what I want," he snorted a laugh when Sam made a face at him. "Anyway.... Big day tomorrow, huh? You sure I can't stay around and celebrate with you at IHOP or Denny's or whatever?"_

_"That'd be nice, but I forgot that you live as an actual vampire," nodded Sam. "You might need your beauty nap, Dean."_

_"That's nice of you to think of me...." Dean smiled but a honest one this time. "Nah, I'm gonna try anyway. One extra day wouldn't hurt."_

_"You're not going back home after dropping me off....?" he asked in surprise. He noticed Dean's usual smirk fell for a second or two. But it came back as he glanced back at him._

_"It's been a while since we last hung out, I could afford another 24 hours," he reassured him. "And it'll be my treat, cash this time, okay?"_

_"If you say so, Mr. Ulrich," smirked Sam and Dean laughed at that._

_"It's an inconspicuous name, not like anybody would catch up to it."_

_"Except in Jericho," he pointed out._

_"Meh, except in Jericho," agreed Dean, just as he heard his brother's phone ringing. "Oh it's probably Smurfette calling you up!" he smiled. "Answer it, Whip Boy."_

_"Tch, cute...." scoffed Sam as he took out his phone and glanced at the caller ID. But the instant he had done that, his grin dropped into an alarmed frown._

_"Hm, Sam? Sam.... what's wrong?" frowned Dean when he noticed his stricken expression._

_"It's from the police department...." he mumbled._

_"What? Damn, that Jericho sheriff ain't playing games--"_

_"It's from Stanford...." muttered Sam, his eyes widened as he glanced at him. Dean noticed his distress and his frown deepened. "How did they got my number, I don't get it."_

_".... Hurry up and answer it, maybe it's just nothing," he nodded._

_"Right...." Sam clicked the answer button and held the device to his ear; both of the brothers heard the professional yet serious tone of a police officer asking for Sam Winchester. "Y-yes, this is him you're speaking to...." he muttered with a nod._

_"We need to speak to you as soon as possible...." said the officer._

_"Huh? Whatever for, sir....?" Sam frowned in slight confusion. His mind flipping around a bit, thinking that they were talking about his brother and his credit card mishap. Yet he was wrong.... so wrong._

_Because the next several words he heard seemed to slow down into a halt, as his hazel-green widened in absolute horror._

_"It's your girlfriend, Jessica Lee Moore.... She has been murdered...."_

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'""""""

Sam glanced away from Castiel's shocked reaction, not wanting to feel the pity upon him. But the shock soon turned into an understood sympathy, as the priest sighed with a quick gesture of the Cross. ".... I know that no words can describe your loss, even if it had happened a long time ago," nodded Castiel.

"Yeah.... no words, but the emotions I felt spoke for itself...." Sam mumbled in concealed sorrow. "I couldn't breathe the instant I heard the news, I was close to hyperventilating before Dean shook me out of it for a moment. But he didn't say a word about it, not at first, but we rushed out of the motel and drove back to Stanford as quickly as possible. I wanted to get into the crime scene and see for myself once we got back but the cops wouldn't let me and they wanted to question me.

"But I was obviously too distraught to be suspected, felt like the world was collapsing on me while Dean tried to console me. He knew that I was at a loss.... but when I tearfully revealed to him what I was planning to do for Jess, he was shocked...." He turned the small velvet box around, as his frown grew grim. "Being with a human like _that_.... it was so uncommon, it's practically frowned upon within our kind. But then again, our kind could care less about our family...."

"But then...."

"There was nothing much Dean could do for me, he had to go back to Dad...." muttered Sam with a deep sigh. "I was left all alone.... I blamed myself for leaving her side. Dean blamed himself for convincing me to go out for that weekend, but it wasn't his fault. I hated myself, barely any of Jess' friends wished to speak to me during the funeral a week later, even though I was suffering the most.... Except Brady. He gave me a shoulder to lean on, and I needed a close friend. At first.... I was glad to have a friend to confide to.

"It took a while to take everything out of the apartment me and Jess shared.... The blood, the smell of her blood was so strong and almost pungent to me even though they cleaned up the murder scene. It was disturbing, I couldn't stay there and Brady understood my grief, resulting in him offering me to stay at his place.... But then, the one night that I went over there.... He had me fooled, took advantage of my emotions when he thought that he could get away with it...."

Sam stopped talking and exhaled through his nose. His chest tightened to resist a deep angered growl but his glowing eyes betrayed him and Castiel noticed it. So that was it.... this man Brady, he was the reason that Sam committed his first sin. "How.... how did you found out?" the priest asked warily. But Sam didn't answer right away, he clenched his jaw to conceal his fanged teeth although his fingernails morphed into claws as he continued to hold the jewelry box. "Sam.... I'll understand, you can tell me...." he nodded.

".... Can you truly understand, Cas?" muttered Sam, his tone coming out in growls. "Can you understand the grief, the anger, that I had to take in....? I'm not the type to hold in my emotions like Dean, but it built up since Jess' death. I had no one to talk to.... And the instant I smelled it, I just knew...."

"Smelled....?"

".... Her blood.... it was the same pungent scent like from my old apartment...." he growled lowly. "Hidden in his room.... The shirt that she used to sleep in.... To think that I didn't even know; I didn't even smell his scent at the apartment but then again the police cleaned up the crime scene. They told me that they couldn't find any evidence of the suspect, saved for some footprints but it was a dead end. It could've been anyone.... except I found out straight away.... and I imploded in a way."

"Wh-what do you mean....?" muttered Castiel, his blue eyes widened with apprehension.

".... Before, I've rarely used my compelling powers on people," he rumbled. "I thought it was wrong to brainwash them in order to get my way. But.... I needed to know.... why did he do it.... I cornered him, he saw my true face and everything so of course he would scream at the sight of my fangs and glowing eyes. But I didn't care that someone would hear him, my emotions were overriding my reasons when I demanded him to tell me the truth. Why.... did he kill Jess?"

"...." Castiel wanted to know as well, his hands fidgeted over his knees.

".... It was that simple, to look into his terrified eyes, and then he spilled it just like that...." growled Sam, his teeth bared but not at the priest. "Jess only saw him as a friend, yet he wanted more out of it even though knew that we were together. He assumed that with me preoccupied with school and work, my relationship with Jess would fall apart. That was why.... he was harassing her so much, behind my back. He wasn't my friend.... he never was.... And I was an idiot for not noticing sooner."

"You shouldn't blame yourself for that predicament, Sam--"

"But Jess was dead, because of _me_.... If I had known, I would've helped her," he scoffed in anger and guilt. "Instead, I was too concerned about Dean getting his ass kicked by our drunk father.... I was selfish about it--"

"Sam, please.... You should not blame yourself for it," Castiel frowned in concern. "You weren't selfish about being worried for your family."

".... I wish I could believe that, but it was true all the same...." Sam shook his head. "Brady, he.... he revealed to me, that he went to our place to speak to Jess, wanting to convince her to choose him over me. That he had money and influence while I came from a broken home.... I wasn't worth being with her and I should have broken up with her, those were his words.... But.... Jess wasn't budging, she was getting sick of his attitude from what I was told, that she was daring to call the cops on him. And then... it was one of those 'if I can't have you then no one will' moments.... Stabbed her several times in the stomach during the struggle...."

"Dear God...." gasped Castiel.

"Exactly.... I couldn't believe it...." growled Sam.

"But then...."

"..... He saw me as a monster, and he begged to spare his life. _His_ life.... I couldn't believe what he was asking for.... Jess was butchered by him and yet he believed he was worthy enough to live...." Letting out a deep growl, Sam tensed up as he glared down. "I.... I wasn't me anymore the moment he said that. I had my rage-- my other side, taking over me.... I wasn't sure what I was doing, I was seeing red. But all I knew was that I was tearing through him like bloody paper.

"And I actually.... enjoyed it.... I enjoyed the taste of his blood. And he was screaming, even praying for mercy but I didn't stop.... I even ripped through his chest and tore out his heart, Cas. And trust me, you'd be surprised.... of how soft and juicy it was when I chomped into it."

To imagine that.... someone like Sam, who usually sported a kind concerned look, to become even more monstrous than Dean. Castiel couldn't help but feel stricken with disgust and shock. This sin.... he had never expected it like this.... "Do.... do you remember what you truly have done, Sam?" he asked carefully. "Did you realize what you were doing....?"

".... Only afterwards, when the screams finally stopped," muttered Sam with a huff of breath. "It felt like it lasted for hours but it was only a half a minute. It happened so fast.... The blood was splattered all over the room, and I just sat there, over the shredded body. That was when I freaked out...." he muttered. His tone now switching into grief and guilt, the fangs and the claws went away as he frowned grimly. "I was so scared, I became what my Dad expected, and there was no way of going back.... even though.... I turned to the one person that was always there for me...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Choking out a quiet sob, Sam clutched the cell phone to his chest. His hands were bloodied, staining the device he had just used to call his brother. He wasn't sure how he was able to call Dean, but through the broken sobbing words he managed to ask for help and tell him where he was. It was disgusting, so horribly disgusting.... The vacant wide-eyed look on Brady's face was too much to bear. The chest cavity was something out of a horror movie, and he was the cause of it._

_Broken ribs protruded out of the torn bloodied skin. The mostly eaten heart forgotten beside Sam, the raw organ squished from his cannibalistic outrage. He felt so sick.... he wanted to vomit out the bile, but he held it in as he sniffled. Dean needed to get here soon.... He and John moved again a few months back but they were in Oregon this time, so he must come and help him._

_But with what....? He had **killed** someone.... The body cannot be left like this. The police will find out what he was, and in turn the humans will find out about the existence of vampires. And it would be his fault.... the other purebloods will know what he had done, but what he feared the most was his father finding out about this. He had become what John had warned about.... This couldn't be happening to him, he was meant to have a better life-- the one normal happy life with Jess...._

_That was gone, shattered into a million pieces, much like his mentality at the moment. There was no way to jump back out of this. He shuddered in fright when he heard a distant sound, of a closed window being forced open. Something wasn't right, this apartment was on the top floor. Unless...._

_"Sa.... Sammy....?" came a shocked shaky voice._

_"D-Dean...." sniffled Sam in slight relief. Within three seconds, Dean rushed into the messy bedroom. The older brother's glowing eyes were wide with absolute disbelief at the sight of the body then at Sam. His face wretched at the putrid scent of blood, but he shook out of his stupor as he carefully walked up to him._

_"Oh, Sammy.... fuck," he grimaced._

_".... I.... I'm so sorry...." mumbled Sam, fresh tears leaked out of his terrified eyes. "H-he.... he killed her and I.... God, I don't know what I've done...."_

_"It's.... It's okay, Sammy.... Okay?" muttered Dean, crouching down to look at his little brother. He didn't want to look at the body. Even as a vampire, he had never seen such a vicious sight like that, and to think Sam had done something like this. The same dorky but smart kid he had known throughout his whole life.... had been reduced to something out of a nightmare.... Hesitantly, he placed a hand on Sam's shoulder and looked at his blood-stained expression._

_"Sammy.... Look at me, Sammy...." he frowned in deep concern. "I'll fix this, okay? I'll get rid of the body or something like that. You understand me....?"_

_"Wha... What can you do, Dean?" Sam mumbled tearfully. "I've ruined everything--"_

_"No.... this was his fault. He killed Jess, you told me that."_

_"But.... what I did.... they'll find out," he whimpered. "Dad'll find out.... I'm sorry, I fucked up...." Sam didn't relax when his brother's fingers combed through his hair soothingly, he just sat there frozen in his hold as he glanced at the body._

_".... Does he got any fluid, some any form of accelerant?" muttered Dean, and Sam glanced back at him in surprise._

_"Wh-what....?"_

_"It's all I can think off for now.... Nobody saw me climbing up the fire escape, but we need to wipe away our fingerprints if we're gonna bolt outta here," nodded the older brother. "But first things first.... Grab your shit, don't leave any trail connecting back to you, Sammy."_

_"But--" Sam muttered._

_"Wait by the opened window.... Once the fire starts, we go," said Dean, his concern mixed with determination as he frowned. "We'll go and we don't look back. Please, Sammy, you must trust me on this. Please...."_

_".... A fire.... just like...."_

_"I know...." Dean frowned grimly. But he didn't have a choice.... They couldn't leave the body like this for the cops to find. But his idea made sense, they couldn't find their prints if the whole place is on fire. "Please trust me, Sammy...." he implored._

_".... Okay," Sam nodded reluctantly. "I'm so sorry--"_

_"Hey, hey.... Get your things, we'll deal with this afterwards," he nodded. He pulled Sam onto his feet, the tall vampire stumbled but gained his footing as the two brothers then walked out of the bloody bedroom. In the living room, Sam noticed one of the windows was opened, the fresh air barely dissipating the stench of blood._

_"What are you going to do....?" he mumbled, when he watched Dean going into the kitchen. He came back out a second later with bottles of cleaning supplies and liquor in his arms._

_"Go, Sammy, hurry...." muttered Dean, rushing back into the bedroom. It wasn't until the faint scent of gas from the oven snapped Sam out of it. Dean wasn't kidding about setting this place on fire. Looking around, he saw where he left his bag by the small foyer and picked it up. He felt over the front zipped pocket and stiffened. It was still there.... the one gift Jess will never get to see.... The disgusting smell of blood was clouded by other smells; his older brother was already mixing the liquor and cleaning agents over the body._

_The sickening bile was churning up in his stomach once again. Dean was really doing it.... He was the one who ripped apart Brady, yet his older brother was covering up his crime. It shouldn't be right, it shouldn't **feel** right.... but he couldn't argue for him to stop, as he moved for the opened window._

_He waited, when he suddenly heard a click of a zippo then a soft cackling of the fire. ".... Sammy? C'mon, let's go....!" nodded Dean, rushing out of the room._

_"R-right....!" Sam turned and wiggled out of the window. Dean followed afterwards, quickly wiping away the possible prints with a handkerchief as he then closed it. He didn't waste any time of leaping over the railings of the fire escape. Five stories down was no easy feat but Sam hesitated, even when Dean looked up after that stumbled landing._

_"C'mon, we don't got that much time....!" he hissed in a panicked tone, his green-gold eyes full of his own trepidation. Sam gulped but jumped over the railings, his femurs jarred in instant pain after he landed on his feet. "I got you, kid.... C'mon, the Impala's half a mile from town...." he muttered, grabbing him by the arm._

_"...." Sam let himself being dragged by his brother, both of them ran off in a blur and out of the humans' sight, not looking back when they soon heard a distant blaring sound of a fire truck rushing by. Warm tears stung in his eyes but he couldn't stop running. He was escaping from his sin, his first ever crime, because of Dean. But it was because of Dean that he was being saved, if only for a moment._

_They didn't stop running until they reached to the edge of town, to the woods where the car was hidden. "Okay.... okay...." panted Dean, looking at his younger brother. But Sam was now going into shock, shuddering as if he had realized what he had just done. "No.... Sammy, it's okay, all right?" Dean frowned, gripping at his shoulders. "We'll go back home, Dad'll understand.... he's gonna understand, okay?"_

_"N-no.... he'll kill me, Dean.... He already hates me, what else could he do for me?" mumbled Sam, tears trickling down his cheeks._

_"No he won't, Sammy...." Dean muttered with a small grin, but it was forced. Like he wanted to believe his own words. "Please, I'll make sure of it, you're gonna get the help you'll need...."_

_"You can't be sure.... Dad cannot help me...."_

_"Then I'll try, okay....?"_

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"..... Dean promised that, yet my father thought otherwise...." mumbled Sam, blinking at Castiel.

"Wh-what're you mean by that....?" he muttered.

"We drove to some shitty terrible apartment where they were residing, in some random town in Oregon.... To say that my father was surprised to see me was a deep understatement," he sighed deeply. "Dean tried to intervene, but he couldn't stop him from beating me senseless. And I.... I couldn't fight back, I cannot.... I was _afraid_ to do so, even against my own father. More like, I was afraid of my true self coming out again back then, that I might end up killing both him and Dean...."

"Goodness...." Castiel gasped softly.

"Tch, that wasn't the worst part of it...." Sam frowned grimly. "Because of Dean trying to protect me, he took a couple of blows even when he hid me out in the bathroom. That was when I heard that argument.... I knew it, Dad had warned Dean countless time about my budding condition. And because of my first kill.... he wanted to erase my mistake should the other purebloods catch wind of this."

"Meaning...." he asked warily, and Sam's eyes seemed to dim at the thought of it. "Sam....?"

".... I've heard what he had said.... of what Dad said to him," muttered Sam. "The only way my mistake can be erased.... is if my life gets erased. Meaning, he ordered Dean to kill me...."

"Wh-what....?" gasped the priest, his blue eyes widened in disbelief. "Why? Your own father....?"

"To think that your own parent, the one who raised you, would turn his back on you as if you're a stranger, or even a monster...."

"That's.... terrible...." Castiel shook his head, gesturing the sign of the Cross once again. "I cannot believe it."

"Believe it, Cas.... he only wants me dead because of our 'cursed' bloodline," muttered Sam. "We're 'cursed' because of what I am.... of what our family is...." Castiel couldn't believe what he was hearing. To have a father willing to end the life of one of his sons.... it sounded like the story of Abraham and Isaac when the priest thought about it. Except it was obvious that his family could care less about God. "But it's obvious, isn't it? I'm not dead.... because Dean wouldn't want me dead.... And because of that, we basically ran away from home, drove straight to Bobby's house."

"And that's it....? You've avoided your father since then, until his death....?" asked Castiel and Sam scoffed derisively.

"More or less...."

"How so....?"

Sam glanced up at him, weary of letting out what he had buried in his chest. But he frowned. Looking back down, he scratched through his hair and took a deep breath. ".... It was the start of the downfall, our downfall. I blamed myself, and honestly I still do-- with all the other shit I've done in the years leading up to the other purebloods finding us. And yet.... Dean took in my first sin, starting with that fire to destroy Brady's body. He didn't want anything happen to me, to us."

"But, Sam.... I'm glad that you've opened up to me with this confession," sighed Castiel with a slight nod. "But.... I have a feeling that you're not opening up more to me. Like, what had happened afterwards, when you went to this uncle of yours."

".... You wouldn't understand, Cas," muttered Sam.

"I can try--"

"Even if you can, I doubt that you'd look at me the same way again," frowned Sam as he glanced at him but he let out a soft scoff. "Then again, that had already happened...." Castiel blinked at that, wondering what he meant by that. "I'm seriously sorry about that, Cas, but I _cannot_ say about the true reason of why we're considered cursed...."

".... All right then, I understand," nodded Castiel.

"Good...." The tall vampire looked at the ring box in his hands, before opening it, revealing a small white gold ring embedded in the cushion. "I've worked so hard and this was all I can manage to buy back then...." he reminisced forlornly. "Plain and simple, not even a piece of diamond on it...."

".... It looks beautiful, in my opinion," Castiel replied quietly and Sam blinked at him. "With the way you were describing her, I believed that she would have loved since it came from you...."

"Yeah.... Thanks a lot, Cas," Sam smiled sadly.

"But.... what makes that woman?" he asked.

"Hm, what woman?"

"The one you had.... company with that one night? The one I walked in on?" frowned Castiel. Sam noticed that and frowned awkwardly.

"Right, Ruby...." he sighed, closing back the ring box. "It's complicated, to say the least.... More or less, I didn't have successful relationships before meeting Ruby, and all of them involved being with human girls. But she was.... well, kind of an exception."

".... But you do not exactly have an attraction for her, like a form of adoration," the priest stated, and Sam frowned at that.

"Compared to Jess.... it seems like that," he nodded. "Us vamps, socially speaking, we have an innate need for companionship. Whether it's from family, friends, or sometimes friends with benefits, we don't like to feel alone. I mean, Dean and I have always been together since as long as I can remember. But I have needs as much as the next guy.... And sometimes Ruby's right there...."

"Sounds rather inappropriate, if you ask me," muttered Castiel.

"Yeah.... It's kind of the reasons why Dean despises her so much," sighed Sam as he got up and walked back to the bookshelves. "In a way, he'd rather prefer me dating a human than someone like Ruby.... After all, why would any vampire would be with someone who's practically murderous at a drop of a hat?" He placed the box carefully back into the space then replaced the old Humanities textbook back. "Then again.... I'm not sure if a human would be safe around me if I have one as a steady girlfriend now."

"...." Castiel breathed quietly. He mentally hesitated at this one thought, however. This Ruby girl was mentioned, with so much disdain by Dean, had faked a pregnancy in order to keep the relationship with Sam at one time. And Dean.... he sounded so repulsive at the thought of it, mentioning that he would take the child away if that had really happened. He wanted to ask about that, but it wasn't his business for now, as he only wished for the tall vampire to break the subject first.

"So.... that's it, Cas...." sighed Sam, turning to the priest. "To be honest, since that first murder, I've tried to hold down my urges. It had changed significantly; I _wanted_ to drink human blood and after weeks of choking down on those by stray cats and other woodland creatures, Dean knew that it wouldn't go away so easily. It's almost like a medication for me-- a week or two of animal blood, then I could spare a couple of days for transfusion bags. Or in plenty of cases, I would go on a hunt with Dean and he would supervise my feeding on humans."

"It sounds like Dean have provided so much for you.... even through such troublesome times," muttered Castiel.

"Yeah...." Sam sighed somberly. So true.... He had taken Dean for granted for so long that he truly relied on him, even though he would wish to deny it. Despite being mostly different, he was like his father, almost completely dependent of being taken care of by the one who seemed to be the only sane person in this terrible family.

"Is that all, Sam....? You don't have any more to say, at least for today?" asked Castiel.

"Well.... I haven't harmed any humans between then and.... a couple years later," muttered Sam, glancing back at him. But his weary expression proved that he didn't wish to talk any further than that. ".... Dean, he's not going to be back until tomorrow. I will try to talk to him about letting you go. He'd act stubborn but.... I'll keep trying for your sake, Cas."

"All right, that's good to know...." nodded the priest, getting to his feet. But the moment he did that, a sudden bout of vertigo warped his vision. "Ahh...." he winced, rubbing his eyes.

"Cas, you're feeling okay?" frowned Sam when he noticed Castiel stumbling back.

"Ah.... I think so. Maybe I'm still feeling the effects of anemia," sighed Castiel. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, his visions returning to normal. Sam frowned at that. That itself might delay the plans of letting him go, but he won't know until Dean comes back. And he must talk to him.... even though his brother shutting in on him was his fault.

"Well.... at least Dean got you food. That should help, although he didn't bother get you the healthier stuff," he nodded.

"I'll be fine, Sam," he replied. "I just.... need to rest for a moment."

"Sure," nodded Sam, watching him leave the room. He sighed deeply and rubbed a hand over his face. That first sin.... As much as he was glad to tell that to Castiel, to dwell that deep into his past, it was making his darker side crawling closer and closer. He blinked and gazed at his hands. He blinked again.... only to see them drenched in dark red blood, the viscous liquid dripped from his clawed fingers as if he had just went trough a fresh kill.

".... Stop it...." he scoffed as he clenched his eyes shut. "Please...." He peeked his eyes open and sighed in relief. The blood was gone.... but it was still there nonetheless. The destroyed lives, the crippling remains of his sanity.... It will never come back, as he frowned grimly. He sat heavily onto his bed, his tired eyes stared at the hardwood floor.

Maybe.... he shouldn't have said that to Dean, that he was willing to give up and surrender to the other purebloods. It made him sound so weak, but he _was_ weak. Because he was afraid of his mentality, of his darker side taking over him to hurt more people. He had always been weak, because he had relied on Dean to protect him throughout his entire life, because his older brother had always been more strong-willed and brave. As rebellious as Dean was, that was what made him better.

Which was why the one time Dean broke down was to spare his life and take the deal. Only because he was weak and wished to die through every torture session.... Sam took out his phone, contemplating on calling him. But he knew that he wouldn't answer. That made his heart ache....

"Please, Dean.... talk to me when you come back...." he mumbled, texting it out and sending it. But no reply.

"Shit...." Sam got up and left his room. He was swallowing back his urge for human blood as he then went downstairs for the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he chugged the rest of the first gallon. Castiel, who was settled in the couch, didn't seem to notice his consumption. The tall vampire glanced over at him, licking away the blood off his lips as he walked up to the couch.

The priest was dozing in and out of a light sleep, this time blinking his eyes open when he noticed Sam. "Sam....?"

"Sorry for disturbing you, Cas," nodded Sam. "Just checking up on you. Seems like you've been sleeping a lot lately."

"Yes, I'm aware of that...." Cas sighed tiredly with a nod. "Not that I'm worried about it, it's not like I have anything else to do."

"Well, if you need me I'll be in my office," sighed Sam. "Pleasant dreams, Cas...."

"Hm, there's nothing to dream about, that's for sure...."

"Sorry about that. When you get out of here, you'll have better dreams," he replied as he turned for the stairs.

"Oh. No, I mean that I don't dream, Sam, I rarely do," muttered Castiel. That made Sam pause and glance back at the couch. What was that....?

"You don't dream?" he questioned in slight confusion. "That's not possible. Everybody dream-- even vamps like me and Dean could dream."

"Well, clearly God made an exception out of me," Castiel replied quietly. "I'm not sure why, but I honestly don't think much of it.... It had never truly bothered me."

"Really....?" Sam frowned. The ability of not dreaming, that doesn't sound right.... "Your entire life, you've never dreamed, Cas?" he asked.

"Actually.... there would be pieces here and there during my sleep, but it's mostly nothing," said Cas, standing up to answer him. "But also.... it hasn't been that way in my whole life. I mean, I used to dream when I was a child. Like, usual childhood stuff, until...."

"Cas....?" frowned Sam, when he noticed the troubled look on the priest's face. Castiel furrowed his eyebrows and scratched through his black-brown hair.

"I was.... in a bicycle accident as a child, about a month before I moved out of Illinois," he nodded in remembrance. "That's what happened.... My mother warned me to be careful and I obviously wasn't. I don't remember much but.... I was told that I skidded down a hill and flipped over.... Head trauma, that was the cause of it."

"A head trauma, are you sure?" he questioned, and Castiel nodded though he seemed oddly confused by it.

"I remembered waking up at the hospital with bandages around my head, I must've hit my head hard if I've blacked out on most of it," he frowned. "But.... why do you ask? I don't think I've missed out on dreaming. It's not like I'm nonfunctional as a person."

"Uh, sure.... I just find it weird that you cannot dream," nodded Sam but he mentally worried. Head trauma, not being able to dream.... This doesn't sound right at all. "Sorry to bother you about it, Cas. Just got a little curious, that's all."

"It's quite all right, Sam.... this has been a rather eventful evening anyway," nodded Castiel.

"Right. Well, if you need me...."

"Of course, Sam...." nodded Castiel. Sam put up a small smile and nodded back, before going back upstairs. But he frowned with concern now. He just couldn't believe it.... Taking out his phone, he speed-dialed Dean's number as he stepped into his office.

"Come on, Dean...." he scoffed, just three rings and it went straight to voicemail. "Dean.... I think... I think I just found out one thing about Cas. It may have to do with him unable to be compelled. Just.... call me back, please...."

Hanging up the phone, Sam scoffed softly. Dean doesn't care about Castiel knowing about vampires, so why should he care about this new information of what Sam found out? Huffing deeply, Sam sat in front of his desk and started up his laptop. Maybe he will find out the true reason by himself. This trauma Castiel had suffered as a kid, something else must have happened to his brain, and it clued with not able to dream.

"Let's see...." he mumbled.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"...." Drinking deeply and slowly on his beer, Dean ignored the buzz in his jeans pocket before setting the bottle down. He shouldn't be drinking after that tumultuous bender, but he needed something to take away the taste of blood in his mouth. Just moments earlier, he compelled a waitress at a nearby diner. He had missed enjoying the taste of human food, ordering a bacon cheeseburger heavy with onions, but he hadn't consumed enough blood in the past few days.

It was simple, he stared into her eyes and told her to wait out in the back when she came back with the bill. But there was no excitement, not even an arousal when he bit into her shoulder to drink. It was just simply food-- as most humans were. He didn't have to worry about being noticed, compelling her into forgetting his face before going to the other side of town to a bar, where he was sulking quietly in a dark corner.

His phone had buzzed twice but Dean had yet to answer it. He knew it was Sam, but there was no need, just another plea to talk to him. What.... good would it do? All he had done for him was give, give, give, yet Sam had always acted like an ungrateful brat for it. Always complained, always fussed against him.... If Sam's attempted calls were his way of taking it back, it was a sorry attempt in Dean's opinion.

Being a leader, he had a couple of hours to kill before going to this meeting at the moment. The only reason he had left early was to get away from that place. It felt discomforting to be around Castiel, yet at the same time he felt the need to give him something. But.... that was always like him, to give everything and expect nothing. Nobody had offered him a hand growing up, so why should it matter now?

To feel appreciated and praised felt practically foreign to him, which was why he internally cringed when Castiel attempted gratitude toward him. And he hated it as much as he hated himself at the moment. With a gruff sigh, he gestured for another beer. He needed to get the anxiety out of him, and a half dozen more bottle should do it.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

".... Shit...." gasped Sam, his eyes absorbing the conclusion of his research. Castiel not being able to dream from a result of a childhood injury.... it made his brain rewired in a different way. And there was name for it.... On the multiple medical sites, it all said the same thing.

Charcot-Wilbrand syndrome.

He couldn't believe this.... Castiel seemed functional as he had no ill effects following after his head trauma. But this condition was the only one that explained why Castiel couldn't dream, as he only got that symptom. Then again.... it also mentioned visual impairment, and Sam had noticed the way the priest would often squint his eyes. He wondered if he should talk to Castiel again about his injury, but he thought against it, knowing that Castiel would get suspicious of his questioning.

Instead, he got up to gather the old lore books from one of the bookshelves. There must be something similar to the priest's case.... if there were any records of humans being immune to a pureblood's compelling powers. Maybe back then, those humans were thought to be witches or protected by their religious relics. He quickly and carefully skimmed through the books, but there was nothing. It only mentioned the rare halfbloods not being compelled, but that was it.

It could be possible that Castiel was the first case.... or that any case before him was destroyed, probably to protect the existence of vampires. ".... Fuck.... damn it," Sam sighed deeply, sitting back down. There was no way that this was the reason why Castiel cannot be hypnotized. Frowning, he took out his phone and dialed a different number this time.

".... Hello?"

"Uh, Bobby, hey," he sighed.

"Sam? This is a surprise, I didn't expect a call from you.... unless there's trouble," muttered Bobby.

"No, there's no trouble...." Sam exhaled, not wanting to lie to him but that repercussion could wait another time. "I'm just calling about that time when Dean tried to compel that human and the human couldn't get compelled...."

"Oh, right.... I've lost track of time with my own problems--" he apologized.

"That's okay, Bobby, but I think I got something here," he muttered. "Bobby.... do you think that humans with brain damage could be an exception of a pureblood's power?"

"Hm, what d'you mean, Sam?"

"Like, I mean, our powers are an evolved state of cognitive ability-- according to our kind's modern science. Maybe with substantial and long-lasting mental damage, that human might have a counter-effect against that power. That their brain couldn't be influenced by our cognitive manipulation."

"Hmm, that would make sense...." Bobby mumbled, seemingly agreeing with Sam's hypothesis by his tone of voice. "Not sure if we would truly know about that-- unless you're willing to compel an entire NFL team. Them sumbitches could take a hit to the head multiple times and still be vertical."

"Yeah...."

"Anyway, is that it? Does Dean know about this already, Sam?" he asked, and Sam inhaled at that.

"No, he's away on leadership business," he sighed deeply. "I'll tell him, that'd put that itch down for a while."

"Sure, I guess that means the research is done, huh?"

"I believe so," nodded Sam. But he frowned. He didn't like lying to the one man who was more of a father than his own. If he had told him the truth, Bobby would have drove all the way to here just to paddle him and Dean both on principle. And knowing him, he really would. "Thanks for your help, Bobby, I think we could drop this for now."

"Sure.... Night, Sam," said Bobby.

"All right, talk to you later...." Hanging up his phone, Sam let out a deep sigh. This clearly wasn't over. If what he had found was true, then Castiel must have had an undiagnosed mental condition for most of his life. Handling the cell phone, he now pondered if he should try to contact Dean again. No.... his older brother already ignored him twice, so there was no point at the moment. But this also meant that he couldn't ignore this....

Castiel might be in more trouble than Sam realized, and the priest was totally unaware of it.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review.

I'll update ASAP!


	14. Hominus Nocturna

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 14- Hominus Nocturna**

"...." Dean wasn't sure how he was able to function through that meeting-- talking with a few upper-middle class mixbloods over the constant fuss about the blood bank. It was already up and running but the supply was on the low during the maintenance. He dismissively suggested to lure and bribe homeless guys to donate blood in exchange for booze money and food. Not that it mattered, plenty of humans could care less if a few derelicts were missing.

Although.... Castiel seemed to be in the mind of some of the church patrons. In fact, when he was in Great Falls a couple nights before, he had noticed from a fair distant that a few lit candles and a small Virgin Mary icon were left by the gate. If they hoped that he would return, then they should give up.... The priest wasn't coming back at all.

In another bar, in another town, Dean huddled in a dark corner once again. He had been nursing on a bottle of beer for so long that the content became warm in his hand. With a deep sigh, he took out his phone and just gazed at the two messages Sam left him. He looked the text at first, it had been sent over five hours ago. Then a voice message not long after that. And it sounded rather urgent, something about the possible reason why Castiel couldn't get compelled.

So.... why was that his problem? Dean mentioned that he didn't care anymore and he was sticking to his decision. If it had happened within the first week of holding him hostage, then he might have been interested. He took another swig of his now warm beer, the taste flat but he had drunk enough before that dumb meeting. He didn't want to come home now-- it wasn't even his home in the first place. It was just dumb luck that the brothers managed to snag that cabin in Montana because of Bobby's old friend had left them that place.

But it was nothing but a virtual prison, he was stuck to it like a chained dog. He knew that Sam felt the same way when they first arrived there. Partially catatonic, his little brother shut himself in his room during the first few weeks, and Dean had to feed him jars of animal blood instead of forcing him to go out. He had changed.... even when he had mostly regained his sanity, Sam had still changed in a significant manner. Which ended with him contemplating suicide by his tormentors.

So many times of Sam thought about giving up like that, Dean was the only one to pull him back. But this one.... he himself doesn't know if he would want to prevent that, even if Sam wished to talk to him. Taking another swig, he gazed around the bar. He was getting sick of feeling empty and bored. Maybe he should find someone to shack up with in a motel somewhere, as he slowly got to his feet. He could just compel someone to sleep with him but he might as well would give them roofies to do so, and he didn't want to stoop so low on that.

Looking around, his subtly glowing eyes settled on one who was downing a shot by the bar counter. A guy in his mid-twenties with dark disheveled hair, seemingly alone and bored, nobody else wasn't paying attention to him. And nobody was paying attention to Dean either, as the vampire sauntered quietly up to him. ".... Got time to kill, huh?" he muttered, catching the man's attention. But Dean himself nearly froze when he noticed the man's eyes was.... a blue color. Not like the crystal sapphire-blue like Castiel's eyes, but it was darker and slightly dull from the heavy alcohol.

"Hm, yeah...." mumbled the slightly drunk man as he glanced away. Dean breathed deeply, other than already flushed look on his face he could tell that this man was blushing at sight of him.

"Me too.... Had to talk to some lame dickwads over something earlier tonight," he rumbled, sitting next to him. "But here.... this place is gonna close up in an hour. You got somewhere to be, dude?"

"No, it's just that.... nah, you don't wanna listen to my problems," he muttered with a slight slur.

"Try me, I'd have worse...." Dean replied with a small rueful smirk. Screw Sam, screw Castiel.... There was no way that he would let anything else bum him out at the moment. He nodded at the guy's dramatic tale, of how he suspected his partner was cheating on him and then caught him in the act. But then his now ex turned the table on him and they broke up as a result. Hence why this man had been wallowing in bars for the past few days.

"Man.... that sucks...." muttered Dean after listening, doing a shot of whiskey with him. "You ex's a total dick, though, he lucked out on someone like you."

"Really, you think so....?"

"Yeah.... you're a total catch," Dean grinned. "Who wouldn't...." he faltered a little as he absorbed in the man's facial feature. No.... he doesn't look anything like Castiel. Not really. "Who wouldn't.... wanna shack up with you?" he muttered, the eye contact was enough to make the man hypnotized by his gaze. He didn't even need to use compulsion on him, however. The man was inebriated enough to create bad decisions.... including what he was thinking right now.

".... Uhm, I really don't wanna go home after this," he mumbled, and Dean responded with a sly but charming grin.

"No need to worry, buddy.... I don't feel like going home either," he replied quietly.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Castiel shuddered into consciousness, feeling another bout of vertigo with his vision blurred when he woke up on the couch. "Ahh...." he winced slightly. The dizziness whirled in his head, so he laid still for a moment. This hadn't happened before, he was lightheaded in the few days after what Dean had done to him but this seemed to feel a lot worse now. He opened his eyes again and his vision was clear this time, taking in the subtle darkness of the living room.

Sam might be in his office or bedroom at the moment. And Dean.... he wasn't returning until tomorrow, that is if he wanted to return at all. It seemed that since before being here, the strain between the brothers was getting worse and worse. It was obvious that Dean's impulsive action of kidnapping him was the peak of it. He wondered if them letting him go would solve their problem but quite honestly he doubted it.

Slumping back on the couch, Castiel sighed and gazed up at the ceiling. During the confession, Sam had talked about Dean like an admired brother, of him scraping together to give what he could during the younger vampire's college days. It sounded so contrast to what the priest knew of Dean now.... Maybe because it was before the first sin was committed, that the crime had been imprinted into their minds for life. And this rage.... by the way Sam had mentioned it, it almost sounded like he had some kind of mental problems. Almost like a split personality or something worse from what Dean had mentioned before.

Medical science usually seemed more sensible than just believing that he was seduced and corrupted by Satan in Castiel's opinion. Maybe that was the 'curse' of the family, but he wasn't completely sure if vampires could become crazed like that. It wasn't his place to question it, anyway. But he wondered about those two years after his first sin. Why did he fall once again, what had happened then....? He sat up and suddenly felt a shudder throughout his body.

It was strange, the windows were sealed shut but he felt cold as he rubbed at his bare arms. But when he touched them, a slight film of sweat was over his skin. "Huh....?" Something wasn't right. He touched his forehead then the rest of his face, it was warm but that was just it even though he felt cold at the moment. "...." Castiel sighed deeply and shook his head.

It was probably nothing....

He shifted to stand, the dull ache in his bandaged leg reminded him of the injury as he turned his head at the direction of the folded up mattress and sheets. He didn't feel like setting it up, as he was still tired. Grabbing the bedsheets and the pillow, he settled back to the couch. ".... May the Lord protect me...." he mumbled, closing his eyes to resume sleeping. But moments of covering himself, he felt too warm in his slumber but didn't bother to remove the sheets.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Dean hoped that the guy wasn't too drunk to go through with this. But he hoped that he himself was drunk enough to do this. He was so used to this kind of one-night stand, hooking up with men and women alike in the most shady gritty places. In some cases, he had asked Sam to wait in the car so he could have the motel room to himself after picking up some tail. But then it would be the other way around when Sam wanted the room with that insufferable Ruby.... at least when they weren't chasing after human prey.

Not did it matter right now, as he was tangling sloppy tongues with a man whose name he didn't bother to know. They were in some random motel-- the decor had seen better days but it didn't matter to him. The bed and the dirty bathroom were what all they needed anyway. "Hmm.... fuck, dude...." he growled huskily, tasting sour taste of whiskey on the other man's tongue as he then nipped at his bottom lip.

"S-sorry.... you don't mind being the bottom, do you?" panted the black-haired man.

"Bottom, top, it doesn't matter to me...." groaned Dean with another kiss before looking at him directly in the eye. "Question is.... are you clean?" Not that he could catch STDs so easily, but his glowing green-gold eyes worked for him when the already drunk man was seduced further by the gaze.

"Y-yeah.... Got tested about a month ago," mumbled the guy.

"Then you don't mind of doing it without rubber," he muttered, and the man simply nodded. "Good...." Breaking the hypnosis, Dean kissed him, leading him to the stale-smelling bed. He shrugged off his jacket and sat down, as he quickly went to work on the other man's clothes. He unbuckled and pulled down the jeans, before noticing that the guy was swaying a bit. "Stay with me, buddy.... Don't want you to conk out before we have some fun...."

"I'm good, I'm good...."

"Let's hope so," rumbled Dean. Leaving the man with only a shirt and boxer, he easily pushed him onto the bed before shedding off most of his clothes. For a pretty slim guy based on the vampire's observation, he briefly wondered how they would do this. In his slight drunken state, he would probably end up crushing his pelvis if he were to take control and ride him. And if he gets too excited, his sharp teeth would pop out. That wouldn't be good, he thought, as he laid next to him for another make-out session.

"Ah.... you feel kinda big," murmured the guy when he slipped his hand into Dean's boxers.

"Ughh, oh yeah....? Hope you are, too," groaned Dean. He kissed him again as he palmed over the partial arousal over the cotton fabric. But his lust faltered a bit at the disappointing size based on what he was groping. He shrugged it off, he was going to be the receiving end anyway. "C'mon.... prep me already," he muttered almost impatiently.

"H-huh....? With what?" blinked the man.

"Think outta the box.... Here," sighed Dean, grabbing the cheap tiny bottle of lotion of the night stand as he took off his underwear. "C'mon, go nuts...." he mumbled as he then laid on his back. The man dumbly nodded at his thinking, squirting the lotion onto his fingers. "Ahh, fuck...." he groaned slightly when the slick digits touched over his dry entrance before one finger pushed in. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable by the action, it had been a while since he was the bottom and it would take a while to get used to the fingering.

This was the boring part, as his mind wandered elsewhere. ".... Why not just suck me off? It'd be easier for the both of us," mumbled Dean.

"Uh.... sure...."

Dean grunted a little when his half-erected member was gripped before he felt the wet mouth sucking around the tip. "Shit...." he sighed with a shudder, before making himself steady. "Fuck.... shit...." he panted a little. For a smashed guy, he was actually skillful with his mouth, feeling the tongue lapping around the hardening shaft. He groaned softly. It was actually getting better, a lot better. "Yeah, that's it....." he muttered, as one of his hands reached to grip at the messy tresses.

This wasn't perfect but at least it was better than being around.... No, he wasn't going to think about him. There was no need. That priest was downright terrified of him after what he had done to him; what would be the point....? But.... Dean couldn't bring himself of feeling sorry again. He had apologized to Castiel and that was it.... Maybe....

"Damn it, hurry up...." groaned Dean, wiggling a bit when a second finger was just added. The longer the prepping was taking, the more his mind was egging him to stop making this mistake. Which had never happened before, he had always went through this kind of thing without a second thought. So why now....? It wasn't because of this man-- who was, by all means, appeared nothing like Castiel. Unless he counted the similar hair color and the blue eyes, not to mention the 5 o'clock shadow this guy was sporting--

"Fuck, fuck...." scoffed the vampire, his face fixed into a scowl. Why was he thinking about him _now_ , of all things? There was just no way that he wanted to think about him. Maybe if he had drunk enough, then the alcohol would have taken away this.... guilt.... "Shit....!" he scoffed.

"Mm, am I doing something wrong....?" mumbled the man, letting go of his erection.

"Fuck-- no, just hurry it up before I lose my buzz," grumbled Dean. But he was already losing it. The lust he had earlier began to deflate, as was his erection despite of the resuming blow job. What he thought was going to be good was becoming more and more regretting. He opened his eyes and glared at the cracked ceiling. He wanted this, yet his mind kept thinking elsewhere. And that elsewhere was the one he lusted after in the first place.

But he didn't want Castiel anymore. He agreed to let him go for once so why was he hesitating at this point, that he didn't want to speak to him at all? And this guy.... out of all people, why was he with him? It was supposed to be some meaningless sex. But he didn't want this anymore.... It was making him detest to it. He glared away as the guy finally finished with the fingers. He didn't need to watch him pushing into him though he grunted a bit.

"Damn.... You felt so tight," groaned the guy.

"Tch, you think....?" grumbled Dean. He felt like an unsatisfied wife right now, not moving with the awkward thrusts but the drunk man didn't seem to notice it. Great. He was regretting it now.... He didn't want this, it was much too lame and pitiful. ".... You know what? Stop it. I'm not having it anymore," he grumbled.

"H-huh....?"

"I said.... _stop_ ," muttered Dean as he looked directly at him with glowing eyes. The man instantly ceased, in his drunken state he wasn't frightened by his glare as he was now compelled. "Stop fucking me and get off...." he rumbled.

".... R-right...." The black-haired man mumbled as he got off him. The moment he did that, Dean was off the bed and put on his clothes within a few seconds.

"Shit, shit, shit....!" he hissed under his breath. This was not good. Not good at all. "Hey, listen to me...." he frowned, as he grabbed at the man's chin and forced him to look at his glowing eyes. "You don't remember me.... I was never here," he muttered evenly. "You only booked this motel room because you were drunk and lonely and wanted to jerk off. You get that....?"

".... Yeah...."

"Good...." Without a second thought, Dean was out of the motel room in a blur. It was a waste of his time to lose his libido like that. All because of his brain was acting shitty to him. But why though? Did it have to do with him being constantly reminded of Castiel....? "Fuck...." growled Dean, crossing the motel parking lot to his car.

Buzz driving be damned, he mentally scoffed to himself, as he stepped in. But he didn't start the Impala. He just couldn't believe himself. He had done what was expected of him so why does he feel like shit? Right.... he only felt like this because he felt forced into doing it for Castiel. Because of Sam's willingness to surrender to the purebloods. He hated it. He just sat in the driver's seat for who knew how long, before taking out his phone and stared at it. Just the same two messages from his brother before he played the voicemail once again.

_'Dean, I think.... I think I found out one thing about Cas. It may have to do with him unable to be compelled. Just.... call me back, please....'_

"Tch...." scoffed Dean. What does that matter to him....? Sooner or later, they would be at the mercy of the purebloods anyway. Castiel's incapability wasn't his concern, but then.... why was this bothering him? Why Castiel himself bothered his mind? That human was the hostage in his hold, yet Dean was the reason why everything was going to hell. He was sick and tired of blaming himself yet he deserved to be blamed anyway.

He didn't want to give up, he wasn't like his brother.... He glanced at his phone, seeing that the time was half past three on a Saturday. It might be morning over there based on the time zone, but now.... he wished to talk to somebody, as he dialed the number and waited.

"..... 'Ello?"

".... Benny? You up?" he mumbled.

"Dean? Dang, brother, I didn't expect you to call me outta the blue like this," muttered Benny.

"Yeah, I didn't expect myself either," grumbled Dean. "But.... I dunno, man, I feel like talking to someone right now."

"Uh-huhn.... And that's someone is me and not your brother, Dean?" he asked.

".... So tell me, how's it going over there at the bayou?" Dean changed the topic.

"Dean--"

"Please, Benny.... I don't wanna talk about it," he muttered tiredly. "What's there to tell, other than my ass getting drilled by the other purebloods over this deal?"

"Sounds like more than that, brother.... You and Sam got into another altercation or something, huh?" questioned Benny.

".... What does it matter?" he sighed.

"It matters with that priest you got up there now," said Benny. "It's because of him, you two are fighting, no?"

".... It sounds that obvious, huh? Wouldn't be the first time we fought over someone, Benny," muttered Dean, his tone somber. "It doesn't matter anyway.... We're gonna let him go soon, dump his ass in Utah and never look back. That's the plan."

"But is that _your_ plan?"

"Does it matter--"

"Dean, Dean.... you calling me up over here right at the crack of dawn, everything matters now," huffed the mixblood. "What's going on here, Dean? Why are you acting like this now?" Dean just frowned, just staring ahead at the darkness illuminated by dim streetlights. "Dean...."

"Sammy's getting tired of everything.... Of us being chained down by the others over something that probably doesn't exist anymore," Dean relented. "The reason he feels that way, is because of me...."

"Brother, you can't be serious," Benny sighed.

"Tch, you know me, Benny.... Remember what happened on Prentiss Island, when we tried to lay low for a while?" Dean shook his head. "I took my eyes off him for one minute, and he damn near ripped your arm off after that fallout with the mixblood community over there."

"It wasn't your fault and it wasn't his, Dean," sighed Benny in reassurance. "They freaked out over you two being there, because you're a pedigree of our kind."

"And they thought it was a good idea to jump us....? And you got caught in the crossfire, and I had to wrestle Sammy down before you...." Dean scoffed softly, scratching through his hair. "You weren't lying about not blaming us, but it makes sense that you should have...."

"Well, I don't have it in my nature to hold grudges," he said. "Whether you're cursed or not, you two are no different than the rest of vamps in this country. And the vamps themselves are no different than the humans. We all have problems and conflicts.... The only significant difference is that you think the entire world's against you. But you gotta stop beating yourself up about it. That shouldn't be like you, brother."

"But there's nothing I can do about it..... Just like Sammy, I'm tired of this too," Dean sighed deeply. "It's better.... if I dump the priest off in another state, it'll be one less problem for us, simple as that."

"Hmm, if you believe so."

"But....?" frowned Dean, sensing another debate out of his friend.

"Dean.... it sounds like an unfinished business you have with that priest fellow," muttered Benny. "You dumping him on the side of the road like an abandoned box of puppies, it doesn't sound like you at all. It'd help that you talk to him about what you've done before you go through this plan. He's the type that listens to confessions, right?"

Dean took a deep exhale. It was hard enough to admit his wrongs to Castiel, but he already apologized to him and that should be enough. At least.... he hoped so. If anything, Castiel seemed to be more vocal with his own apologies, saying that he himself was wrong of wishing death on him. His apology sounded more profound than Dean's, maybe that was why Dean was having an empty feeling in his gut now.

"What good would it do, Benny....?" he muttered.

"Well, I ain't much of a praying type, but I believe he's willing to forgive you after everything have happened," replied Benny.

"Forgive....?" frowned Dean. No... He wasn't sure if Castiel would honestly forgive him, not when he had practically sexually assaulted him. The priest didn't hint that he had accepted his half-assed apology but he didn't care. Thinking about it, it made more sense to avoid him. As a matter of fact, he wasn't sure if he wanted his forgiveness. It was just easier to send him away. It would lessen this guilt inside him. ".... I'll think about it, Benny, but right now...."

"Another fight with Sam, I reckon you two will patch things up as usual," said Benny.

"Yeah...."

"Okay then, brother.... It's been nice talking to you," Benny said.

"Same here.... Talk to you soon, Benny." Dean hanged up his phone, sitting in the following silence as he then sighed. It was far easier said than done. He said some hurtful things to Sam, as if he wanted him to feel the same pain as he had been feeling over that revelation of him kidnapping that priest. Deep down, he actually meant it, but it didn't mean that he enjoyed to hurt reaction on his brother's face.

It was the truth.... He had been dragging his feet through the mud to care for Sam since kindergarten. To add that, he had been taking care of his father when alcohol slowly took over his grief. Again, he would give all he could but ask for nothing in return. And yet others always saw him as being an ungrateful troublemaker. The stigma was stuck on him to this day, that was why Sam was getting tired of him and this imprisoned life.

".... Shit," Dean sighed tiredly. Benny was right about one thing, he has to talk to Sam. But to do that, he has to talk to Castiel as well, but he wasn't exactly sure what to say to the priest. Again, it was simply easier to avoid the priest.

He still didn't wish to go home now. He mentally decided to hide out his car out on the side of the road to sleep off the stress-filled night as he finally started to engine.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Breathing deeply through his mouth, Castiel opened his weary eyes to the familiar darkness. He shuddered yet at the same time, he could feel the sweat dampened over his shirt and bare skin. He felt so hot that he had already pushed away the blanket in his sleep. Not only that, his brain felt like it had been waterlogged when he attempted to move his head. "Ah...." he winced when he squinted his eyes shut.

Strange.... what was going on with him? Was he becoming ill? It couldn't be, it would have happened sooner considering that he felt so sick after that last time of Dean drinking his blood. But it felt more like an emotional sickness then than a physical one. But what was happening to him now....? Shifting on the couch, he laid on his side and curled up.

He wanted to go back to sleep but his dry tongue and throat were saying otherwise. He believed it was daytime now, but he didn't want to get up at the moment to get some water. But he also didn't want to disturb Sam out of his sleep if he dares to call out to him. He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down, but it wasn't working. The feverish sweat was sticking to his face, which was much too warm to the touch.

Castiel swallowed dryly and panted, his quiet sounds seemed to catch Sam's attentions, as he heard the bedroom door opened. ".... Castiel....?" muttered Sam.

".... Y-yeah....?" breathed Castiel.

"Damn.... are you okay?" The footsteps were barely heard when the tall vampire walked down the stairs. "Cas....? Whoa, you don't look so good," he realized, his glowing eyes gazing over the couch.

"Yes, I'm not sure what's going on with me...." panted Castiel. The waterlogged headache was still there as he held his eyes shut and exhaled.

"Well, I'm not sure either. Illness is nothing to us as vampires, unless one is deprived of blood," muttered Sam. "But.... it seemed that you have a fever of sort, but I'm not quite sure. Is there something else wrong with you?"

"Headache, blurred vision.... Is this a side-effect of anemia, Sam?" the priest groaned softly, barely peeking his eyes open.

"I don't think so," frowned Sam, observing his shuddering form. "But this is different from what I've seen. Usually, it would be simple light-headedness but.... Can you sit up, Cas?"

Castiel nodded and did so, the vertigo-like feeling started up again. Feeling like this was so foreign to him. He was rarely sick during his childhood with only a few bouts of the cold or flu. But likened this to the flu was close, as he let out a deep breath. "Can.... can you get me a glass of water, please?" he muttered.

"Sure." Within five seconds, Sam paced to and from the kitchen and gave him the water. As if dehydrated, Castiel gulped down the entire glass, but the constricting dry feeling was still there in his throat. "Is it any better, Cas?" asked Sam.

"Not exactly.... I might be ill for real," Castiel mumbled. The sweat was still seeping out of his skin even though the air felt chilly in comparison. He didn't like this one bit. To be sick at a time like this, especially around a vampire that mentioned that his kind being sick was rather unheard of.

"Okay, um...." Sam paused, letting out a quiet yawn. "I think you're supposed to take a cold shower for a fever. Seeing a snippet or two from that dumb medical show Dean would watch helps for once.... Think you can stand up, Cas?"

"I think so...." Castiel nodded and wobbled to his feet. Sam offered no assistance but stayed close behind as the priest forced his feet to go upstairs. The ache in his bandaged thigh throbbed with each step, even more so than yesterday and the day before. Maybe it was all just in his head, but even that was aching. ".... I think I'll be fine on my own," assured Castiel as he glanced at Sam.

"All right, Cas," nodded Sam before going back to his bedroom. It was the late afternoon but he could afford to stay awake in case if the priest falls in the tub. Just what he needed, a naked guy sprawled across the tiled floor. But nothing like that happened, just the sound of the running water was heard due to his acute hearing. Picking up his phone where he left it on his desk, he checked for any messages. But nothing from his brother, and he expected that.

".... Damn," he sighed deeply. All that talk, the bitterness that accompanied with it, it had been building up inside Dean before letting it all out. He pretty much regretted nagging his older brother to open up and Dean did, revealing the disdainful burden that he had to take since their mother's death. They didn't have a good life, yet he was promised a better one. Only him.... it sounded like Dean didn't deserve happiness, and for that he took his brother for granted.

He looked at his phone again, before texting out a message to Dean, saying that Castiel wasn't feeling so well and asking him to pick up some kind of medication. He sent it, but no instant reply after it. "...." No use of waiting for it, as he tossed it onto his bed and changed his clothes. By that time, he could still hear the shower still running but Castiel seemed to be doing fine in the bathroom, but to make sure he dashed down the stairs then back up with fresh clothes in his hands. Not wanting to disturb him, Sam quickly stepped into the bathroom and placed the clothes by the sink before dashing back out before Castiel knew what was going on.

Going back to his room, he noticed that his phone had buzzed a message. He picked it up and saw that it was from Dean. But it was straight to the point and rather crude, simply saying _'fine'_ and that was it. He didn't bother to ask if Castiel was all right. He didn't even mention about the possible mental condition the priest might have. So he truly doesn't care at all.... Not sure of what to do next, Sam sat down on his bed and stared off thoughtfully.

Remembering yesterday's confession, he wondered why Castiel didn't persist on knowing what had happened during the two-year gap of his first murder and his fallout. Maybe as a priest he respected his silent decision, but.... if Sam had told him, it would be a disaster in his opinion. Other than Bobby and a few trusted humans, the Winchester brothers knew of the origin of their family curse. In fact, their uncle was the one to reveal it to him. He had never gotten over the reason why their father didn't mention it, simply saying that the tainted bloodline will affect one or both of them one day.

And the fallout.... that was far more complicated to tell, even if Dean was willing to discuss it. And knowing him, he won't, he would just stuff in his emotions as usual until it explodes.

Through his thinking, he was slightly aware of the shower cutting off, but he stayed in his bed and sighed. What to do here....? How could he speak to Dean if he was shutting off once again? Especially when Sam himself was the cause of all this? No.... he had been the cause of their demise ever since he was an infant, that he was at fault that everything went wrong. He believed so.... During one fight between him and his drunk father, John heatedly blurted out that he was an accident and that he didn't want another child when the family was already living measly paycheck to paycheck.

Whether that was true or not, it stung deep down.... even when he learned more of their dark family secrets. The thought of it was consuming his mind, and in return his dark side was creeping out again. It was practically laughing at him, taunting him that these _human_ emotions were in the way of becoming what he truly was. Much like feeling concern for the priest when he was simply food nearby. Sam inhaled at the terrible thoughts and clenched his fists over his knees. But his sharp teeth were itching to come out, and he didn't want that to happen.

Not now....

"Um...." A soft knock on his opened door suddenly startled Sam, who jumped to his feet with a defensive growl. But the second he noticed Castiel-- who was just as startled with a gasp, he quickly relaxed with a regrettable frown.

"Sorry, sorry.... I was so deep in my own thoughts, I didn't hear you coming in," he sighed, retracting his fangs. The dark side of him retreated as well, for now, as he took a deep breath. "Is.... there something you want, Cas?"

"Oh.... the cold shower helped a little but.... I'm still feeling a bit ill," Castiel nodded a little. Sam looked at him and he was right. The towel-dried skin was getting damp with sweat again.

"Well, don't worry.... I just texted Dean to pick up some medicine for you," Sam assured, though he was unsure of when he was coming back. Maybe Dean would feel obligated to come home sooner, not wanting to make the priest suffer like before. "In the meantime, why not rest or something, Cas. I'm sure that will do you good."

"Of course, that would be a good idea," nodded Castiel. He needed to eat as well, even though the slight dizziness was telling him otherwise, as if his stomach would lurch out if he tries to eat. "But.... Sam," he muttered, glancing at the tall vampire.

"Uh, yeah, Cas?"

".... Are _you_ okay?" he asked quietly, and Sam blinked at that.

"Huh? What do you mean by that? I feel fine--" he smiled lightly.

"You don't have to put up a false face, Sam," Castiel said and Sam's smile fell. ".... You and Dean.... Both of you seem to be drifting further and further apart. As a matter of fact, it seems to be happening since before I was even brought here, based on these fights you two had been having."

"Cas.... it shouldn't be your concern," sighed Sam with a shake of his head.

"As a priest, I can't really ignore it--"

"I understand that, but.... this is far more complicated than you can imagine," he muttered. "Our family drama, it's nothing like any other."

"Yes, Sam, I understand that."

"Do you really?"

"Your father wanting you dead, you committing your first sin-- As a matter of fact, your sin had truly became Dean's sin as well," frowned Castiel. "I mean.... I'm sorry to say this but.... he mentioned in that drunken rant that he was used to clean up after you, of what horrible things you've had done...." If there was any reaction from Sam, there was a subtle hint of solemn acknowledgement as his frown deepened.

"When you put it that way...." muttered Sam. "But still, you wouldn't truly understand, Cas.... Vampires' lives are far different than yours, it's not easy to get what we've been through. Hell, our own kind wouldn't even understand.... Just, please, don't press it further, Cas, okay?"

".... I understand, Sam," sighed Castiel, panting a little from his illness. "But.... you came to me with that confession. I understood some of the ordeal you've went through. But.... what's good of the confession if you won't _completely_ tell me?"

Sam glanced away, not out of shame, but it felt like it. "Cas...."

"I understand, it's complicated," muttered Castiel. "But that's my job to listen, no matter how complicated.... I'm sorry if you feel hostile about it. So I'll leave it alone for now."

"Yeah.... I'm sorry too," Sam nodded in sympathy. But the guilty thought didn't have a chance to sink into his mind, when his expression switched into surprise as he perked up at something. ".... Dean's here," he noted, his head tilted to what could be the sound of the car driving up.

"Oh...." The news had caused a shudder in his body as the priest panted lightly. "Do you mind if I stay in here for a moment?" he asked.

"Sure, I need to.... speak to Dean, anyway," sighed Sam. "Just wait here, okay....?" Castiel barely nodded and hobbled for the chair. The tall vampire noticed the way he was moving but that concern was put aside when he left the bedroom and rushed downstairs just as the door opened.

Considering that it was still daytime, Dean dragged his feet as he stepped in. He noticed Sam by the staircase but said nothing as he then glanced around with tired eyes. ".... Where's Cas?" he mumbled.

"Holed up in my room at the moment," nodded Sam, but he braced himself into another possible confrontation. "But.... can we talk for a moment, Dean, please?" he requested. Dean looked at him, his frown tightened as if wanting to resist it.

"Fine...." he exhaled.

"A bit of privacy, outside," he advised. Dean, who was clenching the small shopping bag full of random medicines and a small cooler obviously full of transfusion bags, seemingly agreed as he nodded.

"Fine...." he muttered, tossing the bag onto the kitchen table before turning back for the door. Sam followed after him for outside, the cloudy overcast blocking the sun when Dean strode to the garage. "Before we talk...." he muttered, opening the cooler and taking out a bag. "Drink.... You gnawing my arm off yesterday was the obviously the signal," he frowned as he tossed it at his brother who instantly caught it.

"Uh, r-right...." the dark side of him was itching again, but Sam shrugged it off as he began to drink. His eyes glowed at the refrigerated taste but he glanced away from Dean although Dean himself was glancing away as well. After the paused silence, Sam broke it after finishing the blood. ".... Thanks--"

"Yeah, I get that," nodded Dean, glancing at him. But there was no warmth in his eyes, as he let out a deep huff. "So.... talk. What do you wanna talk about, Sam?" he questioned.

".... I've sent you a text and a voicemail. I've said that there's something wrong with Cas," Sam sighed imploringly.

"I already brought the damn Tylenol for him--"

"I told you that there's something going on here...." Sam pressed with a frown. "Cas.... I believe that there's a reason why he can't be compelled."

"Yeah, I've heard the message, Sam," muttered Dean. "But I already said that I don't care. We're just gonna drop him in the state border of Utah and send him off his way. Isn't that the plan?"

"No, Dean, that's _your_ plan," he frowned. "You're not letting me help with this, and right now we can't let Cas go without thinking this through."

"Well, I'm thinking this through, and I'm thinking that it ain't our concern anymore," frowned Dean with narrowed eyes. "You're the one who said that I should deal with this, that it was my fucking responsibility. So it's mine.... Just like you said before, _you_ weren't the one who kidnapped him or drank his blood or even worse...."

"But.... tch, you know what? I get it, Dean," Sam scoffed hurtfully, breathing almost harshly. "You're having a good time taking it out on me. I mentioned myself giving us up to the others if you didn't change your attitude, and you reacted by shutting me off. Well then, which was it....? That I've lost respect for you, or that I felt disgusted of you've done to Cas, or maybe I really was getting tired of your bullshit. Which one of these set you off?"

"Hm, who knows? All of the above, maybe," Dean shrugged it off, a bitter scowl was on his face. "Of course you were getting tired of this, of everything, that you wanted to blow your head off. And you had attempted that one time, remember that fun shit?" The hurtful reaction etched across his little brother's face, and a hint of his conscious was telling him that he was going too far but his own feelings were still rattled from this past week. "As a matter of fact, what if I wanted to bite the bullet myself? It doesn't have to be silver to take it to the brain, so why not? At least I'll be free of this shithole, and then you'll have no handicap to hold you back with your Kurt Cobain idea...."

"...." The glow intensified in Sam's eyes..... but there was no anger in them at all. Only nothing but anguished hurt, as the tall vampire breathed through his nose. There was nothing he could say to retort that, to deny that scornful remark. His fists clenched tightly but he had no urge to punch him out for it. If he let his other side take over, he would have done more than that.... But no, it wasn't worth it.

Because he was truly weak.

".... That's it? No more half-assed threats involving the purebloods now?" scoffed Dean. Guess Benny was wrong about them patching things up, not with fresh wounds still hurting. He didn't want to do that, even when his conscious was screaming at him to cease making this mistake. "Tch.... good. Now let me do what I need to do and--"

_THUD!_

Both of the brothers stiffened of the sound of a heavy thud in the distance, before Sam whirled to the direction of cabin. "Oh my-- Cas....!" he gasped in realization.

"Cas?" Dean frowned but Sam had already disappearing back inside. "The fuck....?" He followed after him, rushing upstairs as he suddenly smelled Castiel's scent. It was... wrong, as if tainted in a way, like a foul sourness. And he could smell it from Sam's room as he rushed right in.

His green-gold eyes widened in total surprise at the sight of Cas sprawled on the floor. He was drenched in feverish sweat, panting raggedly after vomiting out watery bile. "Cas! Cas, can you hear me....?!" gasped Sam, who was kneeling beside him as he made the priest sat up.

"Ah....!" Castiel yelped in pain. But Sam's grip on him was barely a touch, but it appeared that the pain was elsewhere. "Please, I-I can't move...."

"It's okay, Cas, just get on your feet for a second--"

"N-no.... my leg, it hurts...." he winced. The convulsing twitch of his right leg caught Dean's attention and his eyes widened. He had thought the injury was healing up fine by now, but.... Had his bite gone that deep? That he had damaged an artery.... or worse....? "Ah! The pain, it h-hurts so much...." panted Castiel, his breaths coming out in shallow wheezes. The teary blue eyes blinked up to notice Dean, whose own breath paused.

He had done this to him....

_".... That troublemaker Winchester...."_

_".... I know you did it, you little brat...."_

_"It's his fault that everything went wrong...."_

_"His fault...."_

_"We don't need someone like him...."_

_"Nothing but a accursed nuisance, the both of them...."_

_"His fault.... his fault... his fault...."_

"D-Dean....?" Sam was startled when Dean suddenly took two quick steps and crouched down, scooping Castiel into his arms without effort. The priest flinched in his hold and whimpered. But it was ignored when Dean stood right up and left the room. "W-wait a minute, Dean....! What're you doing?!" Sam called after him. He followed after his older brother to the other bedroom, where Dean laid Castiel onto his bed.

"Wha-- wait a minute, what're you doing....?!" Castiel gasped out in a sickly panic when the vampire proceeded to undo his jeans.

"Stay still...." muttered Dean. He was quick to remove the article before Castiel could protest further, before grabbing hold of his bandaged leg. The bandage itself was in a haphazard wrap, it wasn't even snug around the thigh, as he easily ripped it off.

"Dean, wha-- oh shit...." Sam gasped in disbelief, his glowing eyes took in the sight of the supposedly healing wound. But it wasn't healing right, as the edges of the injury had festered with dark rotten blotches. Why hadn't he sensed it earlier, he could have smelled something like this. "Fuck, Cas.... why didn't you tell us it was hurting this bad?"

"I.... I didn't know i-it would turn out this way," panted Castiel. Sam grimaced then glanced over at Dean. But Dean wasn't paying attention to him, just staring at the infected wound as if it would change away. But it won't.... The reason it was like this was because of his shattered ego led by the constant disrespect. He stared, his sharp nose caught a very subtle hint of his blood but this was where he was sensing the sourness from it. It had been rotting like this in such a short time yet neither of them had even noticed what was wrong with him.

Then again.... they were too busy going at each other's throat and wallowing in self-pity to be concerned about the priest's health. ".... How the fuck did it turn out like this?" he rumbled lowly. It wasn't completely directed to Castiel but the priest flinched when the glowing green-gold eyes briefly flitted at him.

"I-I'm sorry, I thought I was doing it right--"

"This looks bad, Dean.... It looks serious enough to send him to the hospital," frowned Sam when he stepped closer for a better look. Dean didn't respond to it, or purposely didn't listen. He only stared hard at the wound before he deftly touched around the edges.

"Ah....!" Castiel yelped out but couldn't move away, his body was aching too much to do so as he let out a shaky pant.

"Dean...." pressed Sam with a worried stare on his brother.

".... He can't go, they'll find out," muttered Dean.

"But-- the wound might get worse if we don't do something soon," he frowned. "If first aid kit couldn't fix this, then we must send him to a hospital, Dean...."

"We can't send him to some damn hospital, Sam," scoffed Dean, glaring at him. "They'll ask questions and this will be relayed back to those fuckers. Do you want that to happen?"

"But it'll be just as bad to not do anything about this....! The wound is infected--"

"It hadn't gone deep.... the shit had just started," he rumbled lowly, his fanged teeth coming out. "Hold him down...." he ordered.

"Wha-- wait a minute, what're you about to do?!" Sam gasped when he saw Dean lifting his wrist to his mouth.

"What do you think? You know what our blood could do, so this is the next best solution," he scoffed.

"Wha.... what's happening, what's going on....?" panted Castiel. The illness was making him feel delirious as he stared up at Dean with teary eyes. Dean ignored the priest as he was about to bite down his own vein.

"Dean! Stop!" scowled Sam as he quickly grabbed his arm.

"Fuck, let go, Sam....!" he snarled at him, making the priest flinch in his hold.

"Listen to me! You can't do that to him, Dean!" he gritted. "Not when.... not when there's something else going on with him, I've been trying to tell you that!"

"Then what?!" growled Dean, baring his fangs. Sam was undeterred by his threatening expression, instead he used his strength to tighten the grip on Dean's wrist. "Tch.... Got a Plan C, then, you asshole?! I wanna hear that right about now!"

"Just calm down, all right?" implored Sam. "I know what our blood are capable of, but this isn't the right solution.... Please, we have to go to the hospital if this wound becomes worse."

"And I said no.... I'll figure this out on my own, Sam," Dean scoffed, wrenching his arm away. Sam nearly flinched by his tone. It was different from the usual stubbornness when Dean would rebuff assistance. He was still bitter to everything that had happened recently. "If you don't got any other ideas, then leave me alone...." Sam just stood there, internally afraid of being pushed away like this. That Dean hated him just for speaking his mind, and the glare alone was enough to say that he was unwanted right now....

No.... he didn't want to feel that way at a time like this, as the tall vampire let out a deep huff. ".... There.... might be another way, Dean, if you're willing to listen," he muttered quietly. The glowing eyes blinked in slight confusion when Dean glanced at him, even though his body language was stiff as if he was bracing to retort against his advice.

"What....?"

"..... We can.... clean the wound by re-opening it and sucking away the infection. Like a.... leech or something like that," muttered Sam, his jaw muscles tightened uncomfortably at the absurd suggestion. At first, Dean didn't react to it. He blinked a few times, both of the brothers vaguely aware of Castiel's labored breathing as they stood silence for a moment.

".... So I'd hafta drink his blood in order the clean the wound, huh?" rumbled Dean.

"You said no hospital, right....?"

"Yeah.... even though I promised myself that I won't do it again," he snorted.

"Dean.... It's either this or the other option...." Sam sighed sadly. "Please, Dean...." Dean exhaled at that before glancing at the shivering priest. He was already incoherent, with the sweat dampening the bedsheets. Castiel probably didn't hear them of their new plan, as the older brother eventually nodded.

"Fine...." he scoffed softly, getting on the bed. "Just hold him down, no doubt that he'll freak out...."

"Right...."

"Ahh.... W-wait a minute....!" gasped Castiel, snapping out of his illness momentarily when he felt Dean's hands holding down his leg. Seconds later, he suddenly felt his shoulders pinned down by Sam. "S-Sam....? What's going on....?"

"Don't worry, Cas.... We're gonna fix this, okay?" muttered Sam with a nod. "Just trust us, please, okay?"

"But, wha--" The teary blue eyes widened when he felt the sharp teeth chomped into his damaged skin. He screamed out in a mix of pain and terror; Dean was biting into him and drinking his blood once again. "N-no...! Stop this-- Mmh! Mmh-mmh....!" he cried out but Sam muffled his mouth.

"It's okay, it's okay...." assured Sam, ignoring the blunt teeth biting into the skin of his hand before glancing at his brother. Dean was bent over the convulsing thigh, growling as the scent of fresh blood was in the air. The fangs gnawed away the skin as he then held down the other leg when Castiel attempted to struggle away.

The priest sobbed in a panic. The headache throbbed more and he could feel a dull ringing in his ears. But the pain from Dean's sharp bite was more intense compared to those. Why are they doing this to him, how was this helping him....? But the struggle soon exhausted him, his sick body slackened though he continued to sob. Meanwhile, Dean gulped down the blood. It even tasted wrong, the infection had altered the taste, but he drank some more. He didn't have the urge to drink before this, and to consume blood from someone who was already weak was starting to feel like a bad idea.

"Grrhhh...." Dean let go of the re-opened wound and lapped over it. It didn't seem to get any better. It appeared just as bad as when he had went too far that time. He sank his teeth in once again, vaguely noticing that the taste was different this time. It was getting clean but to drink more of this....

"Dean...." muttered Sam. Castiel, whose sobbing ceased into a muffled whimper, was on a verge of passing out. The shock was getting too much for him, the younger vampire was aware of that. "Dean, stop.... that's enough...."

"Tch...." Dean proceeded to lick away the oozing blood. This didn't sit well with him, it would be much more easier to feed him his blood. Out of all the vampire blood, the pureblood one was the most vital one, capable of more than just using a couple of drops to compel the humans further. Now they had to deal with a very weak human, who probably would be more susceptible to the illness. ".... Get some wet towels and the first aid...." he rumbled.

Sam stared at him for a moment then nodded, removing his hand from Castiel's mouth as he got off the bed. Castiel, with the hot tears trickling out of his eyes, gazed up at him, as if the trust between them had broken. But Sam didn't notice when he rushed out of the bedroom and then came back with the supplies. Dean didn't thank him when he took the towels to clean the wounds. ".... Dean--" he muttered.

"Didn't I say that I'll do this by myself....?" muttered Dean, and his brother flinched by his cold tone. "Go.... leave me alone...."

".... Fine, Dean," Sam sighed tiredly. Being pushed away like this.... to be alone.... that was his punishment for being weak. His Adam's apple throbbed when he inhaled, before leaving the room. As he walked numbly to the room, the dark side was edging out. It didn't matter, he let it happen, listening to the taunting laughs that echoed in his mind. But.... at least it was the only company he could afford to have for the night....

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The fever didn't break, as Castiel had suffered an uneasy sleep. The bloodloss didn't seem to stop the shakes and the sweating, but he was too weak to make much of a fuss as Dean periodically placed an ice-cold wet cloth on his forehead. Though each time he had done it, he stepped away in time to avoid the feverish glance. He rarely left his room saved for changing the cloth and crushing the medicine into a glass of water to make him drink. It wasn't working fast enough, apparently, as Dean paced around the dark room and waited for the end results.

The entire cabin was quiet saved for Castiel's pained breathing. Nothing was going on, Dean hadn't even heard Sam in his room, but that wasn't his concern. It shouldn't be right now.... even though Sam was holed up in his room because of him. Everything he did would always come back to him, and he always loathed it. The things he had said to Sam.... He was reverting back to the bullying nature his little brother warned him about not long ago.

He exhaled deeply at that. To act like that toward his own blood.... it was almost like he was acting like his father. It felt pathetic now, when before he had actually looked up to him despite of his misgivings, working so hard to be praised by him with little or no fuss. But he was like him, with John belittling him for not doing things right, and now he was turning the tables by belittling Sam for being.... He wasn't sure what to think of his brother now.

Catching his attention, Dean noticed Castiel writhing a bit in his sleep. The now warm cloth fell off his forehead. "...." The vampire moved to take it away and left the room. Nothing was stirring in the other bedroom, even though it was hours away from dawn. He paused at the moment as he glanced at the closed door. Whatever Sam was doing.... it had been too quiet. Maybe he forced himself to sleep, but he wasn't sure. He went to the bathroom to rinse over the cloth with cool water then returned to his room.

"Uhn...." Castiel shuddered when the cold cloth was placed on his forehead. Dean waited until the sick priest was still before stepping away. His feet were aching from pacing for over the past three hours, so he decided to sit at the foot of the bed. This was taking forever.... Who knew that humans could be this vulnerable this way? Then again, no other human would get sick like this.

Dean sighed heavily as he rubbed his hand over his face. Aside from Castiel's blood, he wasn't hungry at the moment. Was it a concern for him, the vampire wasn't sure. One thing was certain, he knew that it stemmed from this being his fault. If Castiel would blame him for doing this to him, then he wouldn't hesitant to take it. What was one more nightmare, anyway....?

".... D-Dean....?"

Dean nearly flinched by the croaked voice, but held himself still from glancing at him. There was no need to look, since he didn't want to know that Castiel was coming to. ".... How you been, Cas?" he mumbled quietly.

"I.... I'm not feeling so well," panted Castiel.

"Yeah, good observation right there...."

"But.... y-you fed on me, didn't you....?" Castiel croaked, wincing when he attempted to move his leg. Fresh bandages were taut around his thigh after the wound was cleaned properly.

"I was sucking away the infection, but that didn't seem to work," he muttered, simply looking ahead. "I'm not sure if the worse is over.... but it's better to wait it out than just dropping your ass off at the ER....."

"Oh...." His hand felt weak but heavy as Castiel reached to touch the cloth on his forehead. "You put this on me....?"

"It usually helps.... _Dr. Sexy_ does show some real medical shit aside from the cheesy melodrama," sighed Dean. "Go back to sleep, Cas, it's easier that way."

"Okay...." sighed Castiel. "Thank you...." Dean felt his heart flinch and his throat tightened. To be thanked for drinking him near-dry, making him sick in the process and then feeding on him again while he was sick.... This was ridiculous.

"Yeah, whatever...." he huffed.

".... Sam? Wh-where's Sam....?" he mumbled sluggishly, and Dean tried not to flinch again.

"In his room, reading bedtime stories, I dunno...." he replied curtly.

".... You don't need to lie...."

"What makes you think that, Cas? I got no need to tell you everything, anyway," he snorted, though he seemed to regret his tone instantly.

"Well.... you're no different from Sam, then...." sighed the priest.

".... What do you mean?" questioned Dean, finally turning to him with a confused glance. But the priest mummed himself, taking deep but shuddering breaths to calm himself. "Cas.... what did Sam say to you that seemed so damn important....? Is it something going on here....?"

".... Sam confessed to me, about his first ever sin...." he replied tiredly. The glow in Dean's eyes seemed to intensify at that as his jaw tightened with indignation.

"Did he now....?" he rumbled lowly.

"I.... I don't understand why you feel hostile when this was Sam's actions he had revealed to me," muttered Castiel. "It shouldn't matter, the both of you have been fighting and arguing lately...."

"It matter because Sam is...." Dean growled out but held back his anger with a scoff. "What did he tell you, Cas? What was it....?"

"It's a confession, Dean.... I can't say," the priest panted. "It wouldn't matter anyway, you were there when it happened...." Dean blinked at that, and scoffed. Of course.... Sam spilling his beans to Castiel because he wanted to prove that he wasn't a monster. "But.... there's one thing that I can sympathize with...."

"Tch, and what's that?"

"..... He was more human than I expected.... especially when he mentioned the love of his life during his confession," he muttered with a sickly wheeze. The anger within Dean immediately dissipated into confusion. The first sin.... he had forgotten the real reason why Sam went off like that. Because of Jess....

".... You don't know what you're saying, Cas...." he mumbled bitterly, glaring away. "It.... it wouldn't have worked for the both of them in the end. I mean, in thirty, forty years, Sam would look almost the same while Jess applies for Social Security benefits. You think my brother would be happy living like that with her....?"

"Did _you_....?"

"Shut it, Cas.... From the first shit he told you, you think you can understand it so easily? he scoffed lightly. "We already had enough scrutiny back then, imagine the backlash if our kind were to hear about a pureblood shacking up with a _human_.... Sam didn't have the means to turn her because he loved her too much. But if he had.... then maybe she would've been saved and none of this shit wouldn't have happened up to here." Castiel was quiet, either he was too stunned to speak or he wasn't sure what to say to that. "Tch, that's what I thought--"

"That is not your opinion.... Y-you don't mean that, Dean," Castiel muttered. Dean glanced at him and frowned abysmally. How could the priest understand....? He wasn't there when it happened.... when Sam crumbled in his arms and bawled in absolute grief, to see the love in the teary hazel-green shattered away. He swallowed dryly and glanced away, not wanting to relive that memory.

"If I don't mean it, then what make you say that....?" he questioned.

"For one thing, you don't take any liking of his.... company...." muttered Castiel, and Dean blinked at that.

"Oh.... her," huffed Dean. "I just don't like Ruby, she's too shady. She and Sam aren't too good together.... That's my opinion."

"...." Castiel didn't press the subject further. He had only seen Ruby once, but not enough to judge her personally, and he couldn't judge her as a priest anyway. Then again.... there were something about her that had rubbed him the wrong way, but he couldn't put his finger on it. It was rather strange. But Sam, regarding his violent past, seemed to be more trusting toward her and he wasn't sure why. Remembering one of their fights, Castiel noted of Dean's vehement rant of her influence over him years ago. That because of her, Sam was giving in to the violence and Dean was afraid of that. Maybe Dean was afraid of it again.

".... Cas.... you asleep?" mumbled Dean, his bitter tone from earlier went flat.

"Sorry, no.... the headache's coming back....." panted Castiel.

"Hm.... I'll go get the medicine, then," he sighed as he stood up. He then quickly left the room, not wanting to hear the stuttered gratitude from the priest. Silently going downstairs, he went to the kitchen and grabbed for the pills and a new glass. Filling the cup up with water, he still wondered.... if he had just went with his idea, then Castiel wouldn't be this sick. The human would just sleep it off and then be better by morning.

Moving mechanically, Dean crushed the pills in his hand and sprinkled it into the water. No other sound was heard in the dark cabin, this shouldn't be right.... Sam shutting in on himself, much like he would react after the violent episodes. Walking back upstairs, he paused and glanced back at the closed door. The worried big brother mode was urging him to check on him but.... he wasn't sure if he wanted to do it. Not now....

Castiel seemed to be dozing back to sleep, with his wheezing breath now even, when he went back to the room. With his glowing eyes, he could see that the sweating hadn't ceased as he writhed a bit. The sickness won't stop, and it was close to morning. There was a good chance that he might have to take the priest to the emergency room.... and he didn't want to do that. Not when this will come back to them by the other purebloods.

He inhaled, smelling a bit of fresh air from the crack under the door, before looking back at Castiel. Fine.... the faster he does this, the better, as he quickly stuffed the discarded clothes he had in the corner in the crack. Sam wouldn't know what he was doing, as he silently went up to the bed. ".... Oh well...." he sighed as his fangs popped out.

"Uhnn.... uhmm...." Castiel mumbled in his sleep, unaware of the vampire above him biting into his wrist and letting his blood drip into the glass of water. Dean breathed deeply, watching the color of the water turning redder and redder. Within thirty seconds since biting his wrist, the small wound healed up. This should work, one way or another.

"Cas, here.... I got the medicine, wake up...." muttered Dean, removing the warm damp cloth from the priest's forehead.

"Huhh....?" Castiel blinked his weary eyes opened, as Dean reached out to tilt his head forward.

"C'mon.... Drink this quickly," he muttered.

"Uh-- Mmnhh....!" Castiel took the water, but the very bitter taste of it made him gag a bit. But he kept drinking it, thinking that it was just the medicine mixed into it. "Mm.... Hahh...." he breathed after swallowing the last of it.

"There you go...." sighed Dean, placing the glass onto the nightstand. "Now go back to sleep, okay?" he muttered quietly as he then picked up the cloth.

"All right.... Thank you, Dean...." mumbled Castiel, his tired eyes blinking back into slumber. But Dean frowned.... Acting behind their backs just to do things his own way. He shouldn't feel bad for doing this but.... this was the only way to get Castiel better. Then they would go on with their plan of sending him off.

".... Whatever," sighed Dean, leaving the room to rinse the cloth once again.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review.

I'll update ASAP!


	15. Dawn 'til Dusk

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 15- Dawn 'til Dusk**

_Breathing raggedly, Sam was curled up like a fetus on the cold dirty floor. The cell he was in, it was in complete darkness even though his weakly glowing eyes could see his surrounding. Nothing but cold corroded iron walls, the cement floor splattered with old blood and bile, the most of it was his own after enduring yet another torturing session. There was no sense of time in here, he wasn't sure how long had it been since the last one.... He wheezed, his fingers timidly reaching up to touch the silver-alloyed collar around his neck._

_He was chained to the back wall, leaving enough space to the middle of the filthy room. But he was huddled close to the wall, like an abused pet. What was left of his clothes consisted of a dirty ripped T-shirt and jeans torn around the thigh areas. His skin was pale and was riddled with still fresh wounds that were barely healing because he was so hungry.... He couldn't keep himself conscious no matter how long it was the last time he was forced to drink the rotten curdled blood._

_He was so weak that not even his darker side could force him into a sense of adrenaline whenever his tormentor would come around. He breathed, smelling only a mix of metallic and sourness in the air, as his mind wandered to the status of his brother. Dean was under a miserable hand of Lilith's crony Alistair, according to what he was taunted to. He wasn't sure how Dean was coping, if he was being treated like this._

_Sam then wondered.... if Dean was regretting saving him countless times, of him destroying lives and nearly getting caught before ending up here. If.... Dean started to hate him for this, that they were going to die because of him, then...._

_The sharp clanking sound of the iron door being opened caught his attention and his eyes widened in sudden shock. Despite of the painful wounds jarring over his body, he quickly sat up and shuffled close to the wall. He shuddered in sheer fright as the door finally opened, emitting some light for a moment before a silhouette blocked it. Another shadow appeared, muttering to the other one before the two started to laugh._

_"Sammy, Sammy.... rise and shine....!" cackled one man before stepping in. With widened eyes, Sam took in who it was. A mixblood, appeared as a middle-aged man, grinned as he observed the scared reaction of the cowering vampire. He recognized who this was, gulping as he took in the gleaming bright yellow eyes._

_"Ah.... Azazel...." he breathed shakily, before his eyes caught the movement of the mixblood's master stepping in. Of course.... Lucifer, smirking smugly as he was wiping a long silver knife with a rag, would prefer doing a show than just the two of him alone. "Wha.... What're you going to do with me....?" he muttered warily, his fingernails scratching in vain at the concrete floor._

_"Aww, Sammy, I'm hurt....! And here I thought we could be friends!" smirked Azazel._

_"Fuck you--" A harsh kick to the gut choked out Sam, who doubled over in instant pain. "Gahh....! Hahh-- Ughhh....!" he heaved out blood-tinted vomit. That kick was unexpected, the intense pain left him gasping for air after heaving out a second time._

_"Damn it, Azazel, you made him barf up his dinner from last night," sighed Lucifer._

_"Really now....?" Sam hissed out when Azazel reached out and yanked at his filthy hair. His narrowed eyes watered when he was forced to look at him, his pureblooded instincts hackling up for being manhandled by a grubby mixblood. But he was so feeble by the lack of consuming blood, he couldn't even bare his fangs. "Hard to imagine that John's baby boy was once considered a dangerous man to our kind.... Then again, he did have a lot of potentials with that power of his," smirked Azazel._

_"True.... But my big bro frowned at his little tantrums around the country," Lucifer grinned. The silver knife glinted as he finished wiping, admiring the shine of the sharp metal. "It's kinda sad, though.... It's like history repeating itself. Good ol' Grandma Winchester ended up here, and she was a bit batty."_

_"Before or after you locked her away, sir?" the mixblood joked._

_"Y-you bastards....!" gritted Sam._

_"Oh, Sam, Sam.... It's not **my** fault that you're here also," smiled Lucifer, crouching to his eye level. "I mean, after all, your family's pretty infamous to the vampires here. Well.... Grandma Abby's marriage to your granddaddy pretty much created the infamy, huh?" Sam shuddered when the knife was waved much too close to his face, but the blade wasn't close enough in an attempt to nick him. "Tsk-tsk, so sad, right? Because of her, you and Deanie-Boy have to suffer for days on end. And this is, what-- the eighth day since being here?"_

_"A-ahh!" Sam winced when the flat side of the knife was pressed against his jawline. Almost in an instant, he could feel the burn on his skin. "S-stop, please--"_

_"Oh, 'please' you say, Sammy?" smirked the other pureblood. "I swear, you're nothing like your brother. You're whimpering and crying like a bullied kid, while he's doing **Fight Club** with Alistair. And here I thought you were the tougher guy."_

_"Ahh! Ahh....!" Sam yelled out when the blade slashed up his cheek. The burning agonizing pain brought tears to his eyes. He couldn't hold in his weak sob as the other two were laughing right at him._

_"See that? A crazy murderous vamp like you.... being reduced to this, it's practically pathetic and sad," chuckled Lucifer, before cutting down at his collarbone. Sam yelled, the hot tears trickling down his cut cheek._

_"P-please, don't....! Stop....!"_

_It hurt.... the burning pain came back when the older vampire hacked him again and again. His already stained shirt was soaked with blood as he whimpered and pleaded for him to stop. But every time he pleaded, the cuts were getting deeper and deeper. The smell of his own blood was nauseating, and he was becoming slowly lightheaded. He was on the verge of passing out, with a sniveling sob he made, when Lucifer cut deeply into his thigh._

_"S-s-stop..." Sam muttered weakly, grasping at his wrist. That was his mistake, because immediately he was struck across the face. "Gahh--"_

_"You little shit.... You're making this harder on yourself, you know that?" huffed Lucifer, standing up to swing a leg at the tall vampire's ribs. Sam wheezed out a soundless yelp and crumbled to the floor, he couldn't breathe when he was then kicked again. "You're nothing but damaged goods, all because your drunk daddy was damaged goods...." he scoffed, his foot swung at Sam's face this time._

_A resounding crack of his jaw and nose was heard before Sam whimpered out in excruciating pain. "A-ahhh....!" he winced, fresh blood spewing out of his mouth and nose._

_"It's interesting.... You'd think that a guy like him wouldn't be running around and instead take the opportunity to come to us, maybe you would've taken him in as a prodigy of sort," Azazel pointed out, the mixblood had been a spectator of the punishment this entire time._

_"Yeah, maybe...." Lucifer sighed, giving one swift kick to Sam's abdomen. Sam yelped out, feeling his ribs that close to cracking by the force of it as he curled up. "Hey, maybe there's still time, he's young. What do you think, Azazel?"_

_"Nah.... your brother wouldn't like it anyway," shrugged Azazel. "After all, he and Dean are the reasons why he couldn't get his way all those years ago."_

_"Ugh, he's still holding that grudge? No wonder he's still single, that prude...."_

_What....? What were they saying....? Sam had thought that Michael only despised them for causing those terrible events, that the killings were close to revealing the existence of vampires. But.... it sounded like they were talking about something else. But what....? Wheezing terribly, he flinched in pain when Lucifer's glowing eyes was on him._

_"What do you say, Sammy? I could stop this right here and now, if you're willing to be my apprentice," he smiled lightly. "I could be your Donald Trump, give you anything you want. Just say the magic word."_

_".... Wh-what....?" wheezed Sam._

_"I'm serious, Sam," he nodded. "If you come with me on a vampiric Big Brother Program, then I could guarantee that not even Mikey could do anything about it. Now what do you say....?"_

_"B-but.... Dean....?"_

_"Oh, that...." pouted Lucifer, glancing over at his smirking subordinate. "He's not like.... you, even though he's just as damaged. But if you accept my proposition, then Dean could be safe. That I can't really guarantee, though...."_

_".... N-n-no...." mumbled Sam, tears trickled down his bloody face. The reaction wasn't what he had expected, as Lucifer merely shrugged and nodded._

_"No, because...."_

_"Dean.... he w-wouldn't want me accept such a thing," he mumbled. "Knowing him, h-he would say to cram it up your ass. I-I won't take your deal...."_

_"Huh.... wow," nodded Lucifer. "I didn't think you would turn it down like that. But then again, you can't live without your big brother to look after you...." Through his nonchalant reply, he suddenly swung his foot at Sam's stomach once again._

_"Arghh....!" he screamed out._

_"Gee, and I was just-- **just** thinking about giving you a break," sighed the older pureblood. "Hell, I was considering giving you fresh Grade A human blood, but since you wanna act like that, then I guess I'll just let you stew in your juices for a good six or seven hours before you get your rations."_

_"Argh, n-no...." The bloodloss from his wounds was making him lose his consciousness as he tearfully glanced up at him. Desperate, pleading to the one who was making him utterly miserable. "Please.... I c-can't last any longer...."_

_"Well, that's true," Lucifer smiled a bit. "At least Dean gets dinner, even though it squeaks a lot and scampers around. But since you've asked nicely...." He crouched down, the knife in his hand was dripping blood as his grin widened. "Tell me this, though.... would you be willing to kill more people in order to get what you want....? To drink all to your heart's content....?" Sam stared at him wearily before he frowned in dismay. No.... he was tired of the death tolls, of his darker side taking over him and hurting anyone. Including his brother.... He didn't want to see Dean's face being half-shattered during his raging episodes anymore...._

_".... N-no, I'll stop.... I won't do it again...." he muttered weakly. His answer was responded with Lucifer clicking his tongue in faux disappointment._

_"Damn, I was hoping for the right answer...." Without hesitation, Lucifer grabbed Sam's left wrist and stabbed through his palm. A raw blood-curdling scream was instantly torn out of Sam's throat. It was like solid acid piercing through the flesh and muscles. It was only a few seconds but it felt like hours upon hours of the torturous pain before the knife slipped out of his bloody hand._

_Sam sobbed out, clutching the injured hand. Above him, Lucifer clicked his tongue and cleaned the blood off the knife with the rag. "Oh, quit whining. It's not my fault that you're that pathetic...." he sighed deeply._

_"Well, he's pathetic now because we hadn't fed him that much," Azazel smirked smugly._

_"Yeah, that much is true.... Oh well, I'll be generous for this one time and one time only," he shrugged as they turned to leave. "He'd bleed out if he doesn't drink soon, and Mikey wants him alive specifically. How else are we gonna this pot of gold at the end of the Winchester rainbow....?"_

_Sam continued to sob, even when he heard the heavy creaking sound of the iron door closing shut, leaving him in the darkness. His vocal chord raw and torn from the screaming but his crying was near silent now. The burning painful wound in his hand.... that devilish vampire was obviously enjoying it. Why was Lucifer personally torturing him, he really didn't understand it...._

_Maybe he was right.... During the interrogation, Sam had noticed how he was observing him like a curious kid wanting to touch an expensive vase. He couldn't have been that special to him or to the other purebloods. But then.... the rest of them had been mentioning about this.... thing that belonged to the brothers, but neither him or Dean knew of it. And of how Lucifer was mentioning it.... it sounded like something of a worthy amount._

_They wouldn't know.... their family was middle-class then they were borderline homeless after the death of their mother. They had no riches.... there was just no way that something was left for them._

_"D-Dean...." he whimpered brokenly, curling up as he held the still bleeding hand against his chest. "I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry.... You're g-getting hurt because of me...." It was all on him.... His father, most of the mixbloods, even Dean.... nobody wanted anything to do with him. He was sure that Dean felt the same way, even though he had cared for him since forever. He was certain that in another cell somewhere, that his own brother was resentful for his faults._

_Sniffling, Sam stared wearily at the rusty wall. It would be better that he had just died from this.... then Dean would be released from his burden, and for once he would be happy. Just being alive only to get tortured and taunted for the next day was just too much...._

Tired, sad eyes blinked open, staring at the organized books on the bookshelf for a good moment. "...." The nightmares.... they came back. The dark gruesome images of being hacked, sliced, kicked, bashed, whipped.... It should feel like a miracle that Sam was even alive after the purebloods dropped his wound-riddled body in front of Dean, after his brother said yes to the deal.

But it wasn't.... It just only proved that his existence was still causing more harm than good. And he knew that Dean was regretting it, that he was a waste for getting into finding this one thing that might not exist after these past several decades. It was gone, after the death of his grandfather Henry.... And as for their mother's side, it was disdainfully mentioned that she was cut off from her late parents' inheritance. All because she fell in love with John and eloped with him instead of just giving in to her extended family's wishes to marry some other pureblood....

It seemed her choice made her susceptible to the family curse, much like how the brothers' grandfather's choices caused him his downfall. And Jess.... she was dead because Sam chose to love her, that he wanted to be with her forever despite of him being a vampire. He inhaled, before his eyes traveled to the old Humanities textbook. Jess wouldn't love him for what he truly was.... He was nothing but a bloodthirsty monster, capable of destroying everything he touched.

He deserved to be unwanted.... unloved....

His ears perked up at the sound of shuffling movements down the hall. Was Castiel awake....? He eventually sat up and glanced at his phone. It was close to five in the evening, he had been out for so long after Dean coldly told him to go away. He.... wondered if Dean would push him away again. He was sure of it.... because of the dark side kept muttering the same thing over and over again last night.

_"He detests you.... You're a burden.... He only sees you as a monster.... He enjoys seeing you getting tortured in the videos.... That's what you get for hurting and killing people.... He wants you dead...."_

Sam wasn't sure how he was able to sleep, he remembered just sitting on his bed and staring blankly in the darkness. He shut himself down, made himself unaware of his surrounding to point that he didn't even hear the sluggish footsteps of Dean in the hallway. Slowly, Sam got out of his bed, still clad in his flannel and jeans from yesterday as he moved for his closed door. He opened it and peeked out, seeing that Dean's bedroom door was slightly ajar.

The lingering scent of the priest's sickly sweat was evident when he stepped out. The concern for Castiel's health took over momentarily and strolled for the other bedroom. "...." Sam carefully pushed the door open, expecting Dean to stand vigilant over the bed. But the room was empty.... saved for the resting priest under the rumpled bedsheets, the messy hair just peeking out. It seemed that Castiel had pulled it through, that was good....

He closed the door and turned his sight on the staircase. He could hear Dean breathing quietly, probably sleeping on the couch after spending the night of looking after Castiel. He actually wanted to avoid him now, but....

_"You're afraid.... He'll hurt you.... He wants to hurt you more...."_

Trying to swallow down the dry lump in vain, Sam stood frozen. What was going on with him....? He was feeling afraid, because he was weak.... He was afraid of getting chewed out by Dean once again, like a little kid being cornered by a bully. The dark voice in his mind soon switched into a echoing taunting laugh, a biting evil edge to it.

_"He wants you gone.... It's best that you get rid of him first.... Always sacrificing. Bet he doesn't mind being put out of his misery...."_

A slight growl was emitted before Sam caught himself, breathing deeply as he shook his head. "No...." he sniffed. A slight ache throbbed behind his tightly shut eyes. Too close, much too close.... So many times had he gotten close to it, of actually wanting to kill Dean. Because of the rage and the dark voice often warping his mind, taking away his reasons if he was either pushed too far or consumed so much blood.

And it was the former.... Dean didn't want him around because of what he had said....

".... Sam....?"

A shaky gasp escaped his breath as Sam opened his eyes, his panicked gaze darted around before noticing Dean at the bottom landing. The older brother peered up in slight confusion as he scratched through his hair. ".... What is it? Is there something wrong with Cas....?" muttered Dean and Sam blinked at that.

Right. Castiel. Think about the priest's safety.... That was more important, as he took a deep long breath. ".... No, he's resting fine," he muttered quietly, his voice sounding a bit strained but controlled. "He seems to be better, a lot better than I expected."

".... Right...." nodded Dean, but he wasn't looking at him in the eye as he turned back to the living room. Sam hesitated to go downstairs, not wanting to be in the same room as the one who _"blamed him for their sufferings...."_ His heart jolted at that thought. It was terrible to think that way but.... of what Dean had said to him, it only made sense.... ".... Sam, are you coming downstairs or not?" came his older brother's muttering. Sam had no choice anyway. Sleeping for so long as well as the dark voice taunting him was making him crave for blood more than he needed to.

"...." Step by step, he walked downstairs. His hazel-green eyes hovered over at the couch. Dean was awkwardly reclined in the furniture with one raised hand propped against his chin as he was leaning against the armrest. But he had his attention on the TV, which wasn't even on, but it meant that he still didn't wish to meet Sam in the eye. He was still angry, still hateful....

_"He hates you.... he had always hated you...."_

His heart throbbed again, as Sam ambled for the fridge. The chilled gallon container was still there, before he took it out. His eyes glowed, but not out of hunger. It was dull, almost lifeless. Almost the same as when he was chained in the dark cell.

_"Consume.... consume.... It burns.... the hunger, the hatred...."_

The dark voice was right.... Lucifer was right. If he had embraced his true side a long time ago instead of fighting against it.... Would it have been true, if he had accepted his deal and made an alliance with him? No.... that would make him like the rest, to torture and kill those who wasn't like them, just like what happened to the brothers' grandmother. But.... it was better than being on the receiving end.

Maybe that was it. If he found what they were looking for.... then he could go to Lucifer, to get away from the stigma of the family curse. If it... if it's not too late....

".... Sam.... Sam, what's wrong? You're leaving the fridge open," Dean frowned. He got up after feeling the stagnant draft and noticed Sam just standing there. "Damn it, Sam, I know it's a little warm in here but you gotta stop keeping it open like the last time--" He stopped ranting when he noticed the hunched slouchy stance.

"...." Sam didn't respond to him, or rather couldn't hear him. He was just.... zoning out because of the dark voice still talking to him. Saying that no one, not even Dean, wants him around....

"Sam.... Sammy....?" Dean frowned as he stepped closer.... and noticed the blank look on his face. "Oh shit....!" he gasped, before grabbing him by the arm. "Sammy--"

"I'm a burden...." mumbled Sam, but it didn't sound like Sam at all. Too hollow, distant.... almost like someone had taken over him.... "I'm unwanted, right....? I'm cursed wherever I go.... And you blamed me for it."

"What?" Dean's eyes widened in disbelief when he noticed the blank but glowing look in his brother's own eyes. He was reverting back to his wall, he realized that as he shook at his arm. "Sam, snap outta this....! Don't break down on me--"

"You hate me.... you don't want me around...." echoed Sam, seemingly unaware of the grip on him. "You.... you honestly want me dead.... you're happier without me...."

"Wh-what....?" What was going on here? Sam had never said anything like this before.... It was the usual fear of being found out by the purebloods when it would come to this. But now.... "Sam, wake up! You're not making any sense right now!" he scoffed.

Sam finally reacted, but when he turned to Dean, he suddenly grabbed at his shoulder and Dean flinched by the biting grip. ".... You hate me, don't you....?" he muttered, his tone coming out shakily, as if afraid of him though he was looking past him. "He said that you hate me, and it's true.... You've never wanted me around...."

"Who's he, Sammy-- no wait...." Dean knew. The dark side, the one who would take over Sam when he was pushed too far.... "Sam, that's a fucking lie...! I never said anything like that!" he hissed.

"Then why did you push me away....? Because I'm weak, that I've always let you down....?" muttered Sam. "It's all true.... you enjoyed seeing my pain after what you said about me."

"Wha... fuck, no." Dean had seen this before. Barely three months after they had ran away, of Sam committing his first sin. It was then that their father had managed to track them down in an abandoned apartment building they were residing in. Sam had said the same something similar to this, the dark voice warping his mind when he was confronted. "No, Sammy, it's me, Dean," he assured, but he winced when the fingers around his shoulder tightened. "It's me, I'm not Dad.... Look at me, please."

".... No.... He said that, you're afraid of me, that I'm a monster," Sam muttered in a quivering voice. "I kill, I hurt.... and you're afraid of me because of that."

"I never-- Sammy, come back, please....!" he hissed quietly. "Don't forget about Cas here.... Don't lose it, as long as he's around....!"

"Him.... It's because of him that you hate me more...." came the tall vampire's strained growl. "I want to help but you won't let me.... I'm unwanted by you, just like Dad...."

"Sammy--"

"You'd be glad if I was gone....! You'd be happier if I had killed myself long ago, you had always wanted that....! You've always _hated_ me!" Sam's fangs came out and he snarled at him. The dark side was coming out and Dean had to act fast.

"Sam--" he winced in intense pain when he reached out, resulting in the sharp teeth sinking down on his forearm. "Calm down, calm down....!" The gallon container slipped from Sam's hand and toppled to the floor. The crude earthy smell of deer blood was on full blast as the content had spilled over but Dean's concerns were on Sam as he breathed harshly. The bite, it was much stronger than before, close to boring down on his bones as his blood dripped heavily down his skin.

"Sammy...." he gritted, with his free hand he pinned against Sam's chest as his little brother snarled lowly. "Look at me, Sammy.... I'm sorry, all right....? It's okay, I'm here...." he breathed deeply. The clawed fingers still clenched on his shoulder, biting through the fabric and piercing the skin but he held on as Sam growled over the bloody wound. "C'mon, drink.... drink, and you'll get better. I'm sorry, but I'm here. I'm here, okay....?"

"Grrhhh...." Sam swallowed down the blood and exhaled. The hostility in his glowing eyes soon switched to realization, as he blinked.

"Wait.... don't let go, just drink...." panted Dean. It seemed that Sam was coming back out of his state, as he lessened the force of his bite and gulped down. "Good, Sammy, good... It's okay now.... it's okay...."

"...." Sam blinked again, the shine of life was returning in his eyes, before he looked up at Dean. "Wh-what....?" He retracted his fangs and let go of Dean's arm, eyebrows furrowed in absolute confusion.

"Sam....?" muttered Dean, staring back with wariness. "Are you back, Sammy....?"

".... Wh-what just happened....?" he muttered, dark red blood drenched down his chin as he sniffed the air and glanced down. "I did this....?" he questioned at the sight of the spilled deer blood underneath their feet.

"It's all right, Sammy, you weren't yourself a minute ago...." he panted with pain, his injured arm shook as he took a step back after Sam let go of his shoulder.

"What....?"

"Let me guess, you were hearing that voice in your head again," he stated. It wasn't a question as he bent down to pick up the container with half the blood still left. "You were teetering off the reservation, man. What happened....?" To see the worried look on Dean's face actually perplexed Sam, as he then frowned deeply.

".... Everything, Dean," he sighed with a shake of his head.

"Huh?"

"It's pretty obvious, isn't it?" he huffed. "I nearly went over the edge because of...." He gritted his teeth, unable to look at Dean in the eye. "That was my punishment.... that we're in this mess because of me, Dean. We got caught, tortured for days, then forced to make this deal because of _me_.... Why do you think that dark side was coming out?"

"Sammy--"

"You don't have to make nice to me now.... You were right, Dean," he huffed somberly, the glow in his eyes went away as he walked past him. Bloody footprints trailed after him when he moved for the stairs, and Dean turned to go after him. But he froze, staring at the thick red puddle around his feet. Then at the red footsteps leading up the staircase, where he could now hear the shower running.

He couldn't go without getting rid of this.... mess. "Fuck...." he scoffed bitterly. He grasped at his still bleeding arm, as he turned to the still opened fridge. He grabbed for one of the transfusion bags and quickly drank it. Sam's bite was far worse than he had expected, but it was obvious. There was so much anger and hostility, but he could sense the bitterness and the hurt Sam was forced to take. Because of him.

Once again, it was all his fault....

The consumption helped with the rapid healing but it was still bleeding. But at least the pain stopped, as he shuffled to take out the mop bucket and a bottle of cleaning solution from the bottom cabinet. He had to clean this up now.... it would leave stains and the police would find out--

Wait.... This was their cabin, not one of those gritty motel rooms after Dean had hauled Sam in. When his little brother had went through his episodes and he had to calm him down, with blood still fresh on his face and clothes. It truly felt habitual to think like that, to try to clean away the mistakes as if it had never happened. Hell, there had been times that he had cleaned better than the second-rate housekeeping staff, leaving no trace after them once they were gone from sight.

After filling up the bucket with water and the solution, Dean quickly went to work, he didn't care that his jeans were getting stained when he got on his hands and knees to clean. He was surprised at himself that he hadn't developed a form of OCD after all these years. But now.... the things he had said to Sam, being angry at him even though he himself was responsible, it resulted with the dark side taking over him. He was selfish and cruel toward him and Sam did nothing but try to make amends.

And his little brother didn't need to, he realized that but it was too late.... He was hurt, yes but he was acting selfish as usual. "Fuck.... fuck...." he scoffed under his breath, the soapy water diluting the blood as he kept scrubbing and scrubbing, as if washing away the horrific murders Sam had committed almost every time.

".... Dean....?"

Dean froze at the sluggish sound of footsteps going down the stairs and glanced up. The lights weren't on, it was close to night but Dean could see the priest as clear as day as he inhaled in surprise. Castiel peered around with squinted eyes before he somewhat noticed the form of the vampire on the floor. ".... Dean? What's going on?" he mumbled.

"Cas, uh.... you shouldn't be up on your feet right now," he muttered gruffly. "You just got over that fever, you need to keep on resting."

"But.... I'm fine now, the fever finally broke and I'm well rested," nodded Castiel. Despite of the raspy voice, he sounded rather fine though he cleared his throat a little. "Sorry.... I've ruined your sheets during my illness--"

"It's not a problem, Cas, just go back to bed, I'm doing something here," he replied quickly. He doesn't want the human to see him doing this.... It was only animal blood, but to be caught cleaning like this made him feel rather shameful. "Just go back up there, Cas. I'll get you some food or something later...."

"Oh.... okay then...." nodded Cas, turning back to the staircase. But he paused in his movements, sniffling a bit and frowned. "Uhm, Dean...."

"Yeah, what....?" huffed Dean.

".... Never mind, you're right," he nodded. "I do still feel a little ill. I mean, right now, I smell something atrocious and rotten and it's making my head a bit dizzy...."

Dean nearly faltered in his scrubbing and glared at the priest who was walking back upstairs. He had a feeling.... When a human consumes an adequate amount of a pureblood's blood, their senses are enhanced temporarily. He had heard stories of it, of the humans healing and recovering from various ailments by drinking the blood. But to see it working right in front of him.... Of Castiel walking around as if nothing had happened yesterday, it was actually unsettling to Dean.

And what was worse.... Sam might question the fast recovery, even after living amongst humans he would wonder how the priest had gotten over the fever overnight. Shaking his head, Dean resumed cleaning, not wanting to think about it now. Not until.... the trace of blood on the floor was gone.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sniffing slightly, Sam could smell the artificial lemon scent in the air, it took over the stench of deer blood that was spilled earlier. It took him back, the sharp smell of cleaning chemicals would fill up the motel rooms where they would reside for a few days at a time. When he wasn't himself during those times....

Distracting himself, he put on clean clothes and paced around in his room. He knew that Castiel was up earlier, but.... he was sure that he was walking about. But maybe the priest thought that he was feeling better and thought it would be good to move around. He sniffed again and slightly grimaced at the sour smell. He had forgotten that Castiel had threw up in here, as he glanced at the now dried up bile on the floor. Maybe he should hide out in the office in a little while, but he contemplated of going over to Dean's room to see if he really was feeling better.

_"Priest.... human.... food...."_

"Stop it...." he gritted lowly. He had drunk Dean's blood, even though he didn't want to, and that should be enough. But.... he didn't want to feed on him, he never had an interest for his blood, so why does this dark side of him keep on insisting? To hurt Dean, the way he had hurt him....? That didn't make sense to him at all.... There was just no way that he would do such a thing.

"Damn it...." he scoffed under his breath, turning to open his door.

"Woah...." Dean was just about to knock and was a bit startled by the sudden opening. "Uh.... hey, Sammy," he muttered uneasily.

".... Dean...." Sam frowned. The surprised but somber tone of voice didn't escape Dean's ears as the older brother cringed before he could stop himself. ".... You want to talk, obviously," he muttered quietly.

"Yeah, a talk...." he nodded. He noted a sour scent in the air and remembered that Castiel had vomited and collapsed in here yesterday. "Can.... can I come in?" Sam looked away but nodded as he stepped back and moved to sit on his unmade bed. Dean noticed that, finding it unusual out of his normally tidy brother. But he shook it off and dragged the desk chair in front of Sam, sitting it backwards with his arms folded over the back part.

".... What did I say, Dean?" muttered Sam. "I was out of it, and I know that I said something to you that you didn't hesitate to put yourself into harm's way.... Even after everything that had happened...." Dean exhaled deeply, his eyes glancing elsewhere as if he was a kid not wanting to acknowledge the trouble he had caused.

"Look, Sammy, about what happened yesterday--" he mumbled. The moment he mentioned it, Sam visibly recoiled as his hands curled into fists. "Sam.... the things I said to you.... I shouldn't have said that," he frowned grimly. "I was angry, yeah, over what you've said this past week. But.... to berate you and give you grief. I was becoming like Dad for doing that to you...." Sam wasn't looking at him when Dean glanced up at him. The tall vampire was taking deep breaths as he stared hard at his lap.

".... And because of that, I reverted to my darker side and went after you, huh?" he questioned, his tone low but even.

"You mentioned that I hated you, that I'd be glad that you were wiped off the face of the earth," he nodded. "You're a burden.... and with my rant from yesterday and the other day, it really did seem like you truly are."

".... But I am, aren't I? It's obvious," Sam scoffed softly. "You've been looking after me since before I could even walk.... You've never gotten a break in your life, it has always been about me. And even when I went away for Stanford, you couldn't catch a breather without Dad demanding you to keep an eye on me."

".... I know...."

"Then why can't you admit it? That I've taken what should've been yours, after all these years, Dean....?" he scoffed, finally looking at him, as warm tears began to glisten in his eyes. "You sacrificed what you wanted, just so I could have a chance. To be honest, that was a lot of pressure on me.... even though I was happy with Jess and--" His teeth gritted together and let out a sharp exhale. "When I killed Brady, I knew that I failed you and Dad, Dean.... and the other shits afterwards, of what I've done.... Those were failures as well."

"No, Sammy--" Dean reasoned.

"This wasn't the first time you have reacted so.... angry toward me, Dean," he huffed hurtfully. "Two _fucking_ weeks.... I was alone. The voice kept telling me that we weren't blood anymore, that you were probably celebrating in another state that you abandoned your responsibility over me. And I believed it.... Don't you remember that?"

"Sammy...." The chair clattered when Dean suddenly got up and walked toward his little brother. "Sammy, I'm sorry, okay....?" he muttered, grasping him by the shoulders. But Sam let his gaze drop, not wanting to feel the shaking. "I could never forget that incident. I was wrong then and I'm wrong now, I didn't mean those things at all--"

"You meant it all, you were holding it in and look what happened...." Sam mumbled. "We didn't even need a kidnapped priest to prove the faults between us in the recent years."

"But, Sam....!" His fault, all his fault.... Why does it have to be this way....? "I'm sorry, all right, I'm sorry....! Why can't you believe that....?!" he beseeched.

"You're only sorry because you don't want to see me get hurt by you...." mumbled Sam. "Because you don't want it hanging over you for the rest of your life. Much like how Dad couldn't kill me with his own hands...."

"No, Sam....!" Dean knelt down to get Sam to look at him. But the hazel-green eyes were blank once again, but it wasn't close to him reverting again. "If I could take it all of it back, I would without a second thought....! When you said about giving up to the purebloods, I shouldn't have gotten angry, I should've been more concerned about you....! I shouldn't have fucked up everything and now.... If you hate me for it, then I get it, Sam!"

"That's the problem.... You hate yourself as much as I hate myself, you can take on the hatred on yourself but not on me," he scoffed. "The only reason I could keep on going was that you're always there to hold my hand. But now.... You're right, we need to send Cas out on his way as soon as possible."

"But...." frowned Dean, dreading of what answer might come out of his mouth. "Honestly.... I don't want to die, I truly don't," he muttered, his Adam's apple quivered as he held in his tears. "I don't _want_ to give up, but I also don't want to keep being under the thumb of Michael.... or Lucifer for that matter." Dean nearly stiffened at that. Hearing him addressing Lucifer by his true name, it meant something else now. "That's why I'm tired of it all, Dean.... I'm sorry that I didn't point it that out to you that way, but.... I didn't really mean that I was going to bare my neck out for the guillotine. Like you.... I wanted to die fighting against them."

Dean's grip on him slackened as his eyes widened in realization. He had known Sam, every single thing about him. But to hear this proclamation out of him....

"I'm still sorry, Sammy...." Dean frowned solemnly. "I'll go on my fucking hands and knees until you accept it, just please.... I shouldn't have been angry with you. I was only angry with myself. I'm just so fucking pig-headed...."

".... I'm so sorry, too, Dean...." sniffed Sam. "I'm weak, though. I probably couldn't get through two steps towards the others without falling into a psychotic breakdown."

"No, Sammy, you're stronger than that, you're stronger than me--"

"You've seen the videos, Dean.... I was far worse off than you," he scoffed. "Hell, there was that one time where I nearly went into lunacy.... Not even two bashes in against the wall did they rush in and chain me to that chair for the next several hours," he emphasized, reaching to scratch through the right side of his hair. That was when Dean came to see him after he had said yes to the deal, as the older brother nodded at that.

"That's why you're stronger, Sammy.... I broke down because I was tired of seeing what they were doing to you.... I couldn't endure it any longer," he muttered.

".... And that's why I'm still alive, because of you," he nodded, patting at one of his hands. "It's not about you not wanting to be alone, Dean. It's because you still believe that I could have a better life. It has always been that way.... That's why I felt that I've taken you for granted and felt that I didn't deserve it. Not since the death of Brady."

"But--"

"You know that's an impossible dream, Dean.... How can I deserve a better life when I keep seeing the blood on my hands?" mumbled Sam.

"And you think I don't....?"

".... When's the last time _you_ have ever been happy, Dean....?" Sam questioned quietly, looking at him straight in the eye. Dean was taken aback by that. What kind of a question was that....? ".... Exactly.... You've always put everyone else's needs before your own. Dad, me, even Cas now.... Yet I've never seen you being actually happy. Not since.... I've told you about my accomplishments and you took me away on that weekend...." The hands on Sam's shoulders slipped down as Dean stared at him in disbelief.

Was that what Sam truly believed....? Sure, he had enjoyed himself from time to time but.... true happiness? ".... Sammy, I'm only happy when you're happy--" he muttered.

"When I'm happy, I know that," frowned Sam as he shook his head. "You've never made _yourself_ happy, probably because you think that'd make you selfish. And I find that ironic when you act selfish over other things...."

"But.... who knows why, maybe whenever I tried to, it would get blow up in my face," Dean mumbled in defeat.

"And yet you believe I could be happy...."

"Sammy--"

"There's.... no way that we can start over from this, it's obvious from the pressure on us," Sam shook his head. "We never had a reset button after my first murder. So even if we could find this shit.... we could never be happy. We deserved to be miserable for the rest of our lives...."

"...." Dean felt a sickening bile in his gut, reeling from Sam's defeated proclamation. He wanted to smack him out of it, that it shouldn't be that way. But there was no way to counter that.... Swallowing dryly, he stood up and moved to leave the room but paused. ".... Cas' still a bit sick, so I'll give him some more medicine and some food...." he mumbled, glancing over at him. "Unless you wanna do it. If.... you're okay with it, I mean...."

".... No, I need to take a breather," mumbled Sam. "I don't think I'm feeling so good myself...."

"Oh.... okay then." Dean felt sick as well, but it was on a emotional roller coaster, as he left the room. He walked back downstairs, his glowing eyes took in on the now spotless kitchen floor. He just stared.... His cocky smirking facade was chipping away, showing hints of a scared little boy afraid to fail anyone. He couldn't.... take this anymore, he didn't want to keep seeing the anguish in Sam's face any longer. The happiness.... the promise he meant to his little brother ever since he held him in his arms after the fire. He was the only one crying at the sight of the roaring flame while Sam merely cooed in the bundle.

It was hard for him to keep being strong when he constantly failed over the simplest things. He had always kept it in with alcohol but even that was turning him into his father, and he made it worse with his crumbling behavior since being forced into taking the deal. But now he must put up yet another facade, as he took a deep breath and strode into the kitchen.

It cannot be about him anymore now that Cas needed to get better soon. Both him and Sam must get back to finding a way to let him go.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Castiel wasn't sure what had happened to him that made him feel so.... refreshed. Just yesterday, he was violently ill and was sweating profusely. But when he was given the medicine by Dean, he felt better after sleeping it off, as if he hadn't been anemic for the past few weeks. As a matter of fact.... he felt a lot more better than he usually would before meeting Dean for the first time.

Maybe it was his imagination. But it doesn't exactly explain why the sandwich he was eating seemed to be tastier than before as he took in two bites at a time. Sitting across from him on the kitchen table in now clean clothes, Dean observed his eating habit with a slight wariness. The priest would often take hesitant and paused bites but to see him eating as if he had been starving was proof that his blood had worked. ".... Um... A-are you feeling okay, Cas? Can't have you choking over a ham sandwich," he muttered.

Castiel stopped eating and glanced up at him, nearly finished with his second helping as he put down his food. ".... I feel fine, Dean.... I didn't expect to get over such an illness like that, even with the medicine you have given me," he nodded.

"Yeah.... that's good," he sighed deeply. "Tylenols work wonders, huh?"

"Didn't expect it to work so well.... especially with the wound on my thigh," he admitted and Dean frowned at that.

"Yeah, well.... I brought extra-strength, Cas," he nodded, glancing away. "Speaking of which.... Does it feel fine at the moment? I mean, it was infected before I did the leech treatment on you."

"Oh.... It doesn't ache as before, which was interesting," muttered Castiel, his blue eyes glancing at him with slight confusion. "As a matter of fact, I hadn't been eating much lately, which probably explains one of the factors of the illness. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so hungry...." If he believed so, Dean thought but his frown deepened. ".... Is Sam doing okay? The last thing I remembered was him leaving the room to speak to you," Castiel asked as he resumed eating.

"Right.... Sam was worried sick about you and tried to sleep it off," Dean fibbed. "But, while you were sweating it out, we talked.... It's still a little shaky but we made up. For your sake, all of the squabbling was the reason why I let this happen--" He stopped talking. He was blaming himself again.

".... May I have some more?" the priest requested, the plate now empty after finishing the sandwich and it caught his attention.

"You just ate two, you don't wanna puke out after getting over that sickness," muttered Dean.

"Okay, that makes sense," nodded Castiel, just as Dean perked up at the subtle noises upstairs. The vampire frowned when he then heard Sam walking downstairs and didn't turn to see him. But Castiel blinked in surprise when the younger brother paused to look at him.

"You're okay...." stated Sam with a small but relieved smile.

"Of course. I feel fine after given medicine and a night's rest," Castiel replied. "I know that Dean had to remake the wound to take away the infection but.... I couldn't be taken to the hospital, is that right?"

"Yeah, something like that...." nodded Sam, giving a brief glance at Dean. Dean just stared at his hands on the table, not wanting to think about the defeated admission earlier. "Uhm.... Getting to the real problem," he sighed, sitting on a spare chair between the two. "Castiel.... tell me the truth. Are you that concerned about the existence of vampires, that you cannot be compelled to forget about us....?"

"Huh? Oh, right...." Castiel frowned in realization. "Well.... I'm not really sure how to feel about it. If both of you are concerned as well--"

"Wait.... Dean, tell me the truth," he muttered, turning to Dean who glanced up at his brother. "Do _you_ care....? Whether or not Cas couldn't get compelled....?"

".... In a way, yeah," he admitted, looking away as his fingers tapped at the table surface. Whatever Sam has to say, he will listen this time without argument. "But, with him still knowing, I wonder if our plan to let him go will hinder. Right, Cas?"

"Uh, that's true...." nodded Castiel. "But.... I promise, I won't tell a soul about the existence of your kind should you let me go. You have my word, Dean," he added when he glanced at Dean. The vampire frowned at that but shrugged.

"Yeah, sure, Cas...."

"Anyway.... We'll do what we can about this for now," sighed Sam. "This coming week, we'll give you a different identity, a new alias, as we arrange something for you, Cas. We have friends-- humans-- that will take you to Utah once we're ready. That is.... unless Dean got any other suggestion."

".... Nah, Utah's the safest bet," Dean mumbled. "Zero vamps, zero chance of trouble. There's no rush, anyway...." Castiel noticed how subdued Dean was acting, but he also appeared guarded now that Sam was around. No.... he wasn't sure if both of the brothers had truly made up after everything that had happened. But he didn't want to think more of it as he made an agreeable nod.

"All right.... I'll cooperate, I wish to help in any way I can if that's okay," he replied.

"Uh, sure, that's good," Sam agreed with a slight smile then it fell when he glanced at Dean. "Right, Dean....?"

".... Sure," sighed Dean, his eyes flickered to the priest. "You can't go back home, but I'm sure you can manage with a new one, Cas. Okay....?"

"Yes.... of course, Dean," Castiel nodded.... before putting up a small but appreciative smile. Dean saw it and instantly felt his heart jolted so hard that it hurt his chest. When was the last time he had seen him smile at all....? The smile gave Castiel's face a renewed glow, and he noticed that as well. His blood worked too well. There was a flush to his skin when before it was pallid due to constant bloodloss. The change was practically noticeable but Sam didn't seem to be aware of it as he took a deep breath.

"Okay then...." he muttered. "Have you eaten yet, Cas-- oh you already did."

"Yes but I believe that I need to shower, to wash away the sweat from my fever," sighed Castiel as he stood up. "If you excuse me...."

"Sure...." nodded Sam, his hazel-green eyes wandered after his trail as Castiel walked up the stairs. His concern shifted when he then frowned at Dean, who stared down at his hands. "A fast recovery...." he stated, his tone even but no sense of disappointment. ".... I'm not mad, Dean. I understand your intent but.... I was trying to tell you what was going on with Cas. Something's not right about him."

"Okay...." nodded Dean, still not glancing at him.

"Okay....?"

"Okay, as in.... I'll listen to you," he relented with a deep sigh. "What ideas you got, Sam, about why Cas can't get compelled....?" The muffled spraying sound of water could be heard, as Sam made a slow exhale.

"I was speaking to Cas--"

"You confessed to him," Dean interrupted and his little brother blinked at that. "Cas mentioned it last night during his fever. He didn't say much, though...."

"Right.... Afterwards.... he was feeling dizzy and went to nap, and I simply replied that he'd have better dreams when he gets out of here," he muttered. "It was then he said something that took me off guard."

"What....?"

"He doesn't dream, Dean," answered Sam, and for once Dean looked up at him, sporting a slightly confusing frown.

"Doesn't dream? I don't get it," he scoffed.

"Cas haven't been able to dream since he was a kid, he was bonked on the head in a bike accident," he said. "I looked it up and it mentioned that he might have a mental disorder that haven't been diagnosed for years. It _could_ explain why he couldn't get compelled when you first tried to do it, Dean...." Dean blinked at that, then acknowledged his reason with a slow nod.

"To be honest, I've thought of it before, a couple weeks back," he sighed. "But I wasn't sure, he looked pretty normal to me."

"You didn't tell me?"

"Didn't think it was important at the time," Dean pointed out. "Maybe I thought it was a fluke that the hypnosis doesn't work on him specifically."

"Well, we won't know for sure now.... not when I tried to warn you about it and didn't want you to feed him your blood," Sam frowned with worrisome as he glanced at him.

".... I'm sorry about that," he muttered but Sam shrugged it off.

"I'm sorry too," he replied quietly as he got up. "I should clean up the vomit in my room, it's been sitting there for far too long."

"Right...." Dean got up as well, then reaching for his jacket on the back of the chair. "You okay being here for an hour, Sammy....?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, of course," nodded Sam. Dean glanced at him with a brief grim frown, then walked past his brother for the door. Sam watched him leave and inhaled. Even though he wanted to fight against the other pureblood, the mention of them staying miserable for the rest of their lives seemed to strike Dean to the core. But what could be done....? How can he deserve happiness with all the horrific things he had done? It was terrible enough that he couldn't even tell Castiel the true reason why he had killed again after two years of trying not to give in to his darker half.

With another deep inhale, he turned to the fridge and opened it. He then drank the rest of the deer blood, curbing back the thoughts of harming people. But it felt like it wasn't enough. He had let the voice in, and he nearly snapped because of it. It will take a lot more than consuming animal blood to gain back his sanity. Or at least what was left of it.

"Fuck...." he growled lowly.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_"Sammy.... Sammy, are you with me?"_

_Blinking dully, Sam glanced up to notice Dean shaking his shoulder. His brother's voice almost sounded like an echo.... ever since he had torn through his throat to drink his blood. Weeks of being under constant surveillance had took its toll on both of the brothers, after what Sam had done.... It wasn't mentioned ever again, not after the tall vampire had nearly killed Dean. They were in the Impala, in another random town in another random town._

_It was in the afternoon, the brothers should be asleep by now but it was safe for to go around without the fear of other vampires noticing them. With tired eyes, Sam gazed at Dean and frowned. ".... Where are we? Shouldn't we hide out in a motel right now?" he mumbled._

_"I know, but we can do that later...." Dean muttered, driving through the streets slowly as if trying to find something as he looked around._

_"Huh....? Then what? You didn't catch some sleep?" asked Sam before letting out a yawn. Dean didn't answer. He made a turn and then slowed the car to park in a free space next to a random shop. "Dean....?"_

_".... I made a promise to you over a week ago, Sammy," muttered the older brother, looking at him. His expression just as weary when he then took a deep anxious breath. "Never again.... I won't leave you again.... I was selfish to do that, and I was angry. But to take it out on the only family I got, after Dad's death.... Sammy, we're in this together. I'll help you on this.... condition of yours, if you'll let me."_

_".... I know that, Dean," sighed Sam, his bangs fell over over his forehead as he nodded._

_"No, I wanna make sure that my promise is kept, for real...." Dean reassured, as he got out of the Impala. Sam blinked in slight confusion but did the same thing. That was when he realized that his brother was walking toward a tattoo parlor. "In here.... We'll get the same thing, to prove that I'll stick by you through thick and thin. Is that okay with you, Sam....?"_

_"Oh.... I guess that would make sense," Sam sighed. For the first time in the past couple of months, he managed to make a small smile. "But.... the way you said it, you make it sound like we're a couple."_

_"Heh, it wouldn't be the first time," Dean smiled back but it quickly turned into a serious frown. "Are you game, though....?"_

_".... Yeah, I trust you, Dean," nodded Sam as he walked up to him. "You're my big brother. You've done everything you can for me.... I just wish that I could the same for you."_

_"Man, don't worry about that," he sighed heavily. "It's my job, after all. Hell, the only reason that you're bigger than me because of all those food I've given you when we were kids."_

_"I think a growth spurt had done that, I was practically tiny until I was fifteen," Sam smiled a bit. At that, Dean couldn't help but chuckle as they stepped inside the parlor. He talked to the artist about both of them getting a tattoo while his little brother gazed at the choices pictured all over one wall. Most of them seemed rather gaudy and overly complicated with so many colors and shading._

_"Huh, it's like you have to be either a biker or a gang member to get these kind of things...." he mused, eyeing them over. But then one caught his eyes in the bottom corner, nearly obscured by a poorly watered plant on a heater. He nudged it aside and blinked. This design, it was simple in a way, not exactly noticeable in a way that would make people question it._

_"See something you like, Sammy?" asked Dean, walking up to him. "I was kinda hoping I could get the half-naked geisha suggestively riding on a dragon."_

_"Great.... What about this one?" he pointed out at the design. "Nice and simple, right?"_

_"Hmm.... Yeah, I could go with that," Dean agreed. "But ain't that, like, a Satanic sign or something?"_

_"Actually, the symbol is meant to ward off against evil, according to mythology," Sam nodded before frowning. "Maybe it'll ward off what I got inside me...."_

_"Hey.... I promise you, all right, Sammy?" sighed Dean, patting at his shoulder. "The whole 'cross my heart and hope to die' shtick.... I'll be there for you, kid."_

_"Yeah...." Sam smiled lightly. "The heart, we should get the tattoo over it, on our chests," he suggested._

_"Sure, okay, that's the plan," nodded the older vampire, taking off the old leather jacket that was once belonged to his father. It hadn't been a year since he passed on, but he kept it. Even after everything that had happened. "You're ready....?"_

_"Having a buzzing needle piercing my skin for the next couple of hours? Sure, why not?" he nodded and his brother smirked at that._

_"Awesome...."_

Sam jolted out of his sleep when he heard a soft rumpled thud. "Hm....? Huh....?" he mumbled sleepily. He had went to sleep early. He consumed more animal blood after Dean came back with more gallon containers. That knocked him out at least until the noise he had just heard woke him up, as he blinked his eyes open. The room was dark but there was a hint of morning light behind the curtain. He blinked again when he then noticed a form flopping onto the floor before he heard a tired groan.

".... Dean?" he mumbled, his eyes glowed to see his brother lying on his back on the floor with one knee raised. "Wha.... what're you doing here?"

"What's it look like? I made Cas sleep on my bed, telling him that another night of rest should help him get over his illness...." sighed Dean.

"Well, yeah but.... I thought you'd crash on the couch...." muttered Sam but his brother made a huff.

"Can't a guy just keep an eye on you for a while....?" he grumbled, covering himself with the bedsheets. Sam blinked at that and frowned in realization, that would make sense after yesterday's tensed event. "I'm exhausted, Sammy, we can talk about it later, okay...?" sighed Dean.

".... Sure, Dean," he exhaled, watching him relax with one arm draped over his eyes. And the other.... stretched out toward him. It was a habit of him since they were little, whenever Sam would have a bad dream and he would reach for his hand. He had always been observant of this type of behavior. Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply, remembering the one time Dean had looked after him.

It was winter, somewhere in middle America. They couldn't stay in a motel after running out of money and had to sleep it off in the car. They couldn't waste the gas to put on the heat, so Dean forced him to bundle up and sleep in the backseat. Sam couldn't anyway, seeing Dean shivering in the driver's seat with just a jacket on. With some convincing, his older brother reluctantly took one of the blankets. _"It's not like a vamp could die outta hypothermia, Sammy...."_ Dean grumbled, wrapping himself up.

_"You'd be the first if you don't warm up, jerk,"_ sighed Sam. It gave him relief during the few times he was able to help Dean, knowing that deep down his brother appreciated it. Maybe now.... even though he doesn't think that he deserves happiness, Dean deserved it more than him. He had been given more than enough, so it should be right that he gives back. He wanted to do that, to see the true smile on Dean's face for the first time in years. He would rather sacrifice his own happiness than living in guilt for it. That was all it mattered.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review.

I'll update ASAP!


	16. Knight

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 16- Knight**

Inhaling deeply, Castiel slowly opened his eyes then blinked, taking in the subtle darkness. He remembered now, as he was in the firm warm confinement of Dean's bed, before nudging away the bedsheets. He felt well rested after what had happened. From what Dean had said, the medicine he was given seemed to work in his favor, as he doesn't feel sick at all. Castiel sat up then glanced at his bandaged thigh partially concealed by gym shorts, vaguely wondering why the ache doesn't even hurt anymore. He lightly touched and prodded at it, feeling the pain from the pressure then, and frowned.

He was sure that Dean sank his fangs deep but he couldn't remember much of it during the fever. Castiel blinked as he looked around the dark room, wondering if it's daytime when he realized that the dark room didn't look as dark as before. In fact.... it seemed as if there was a night light dimly illuminating the bedroom. That was strange. "Huh...." he sighed as he quietly got off the bed. He looked around again, before his crystal blue eyes fell on the small framed pictures on the desk right in front of him.

He hadn't seen them clearly before, even with the lights on that one time. But now.... it was clear as day to him, as Castiel blinked with slight curiosity. All three of them, ranging seemingly in chronological order. The priest glanced at the closed door then back at the portraits. The first one with a hairline crack on the corner, he noticed, clearly showed a face of a young blond-haired woman smiling happily as she was hugging a little boy no more than three or four years old. The boy was also a blonde, grinning with the both of them posing outside in front of a suburban house.

"...." Castiel frowned in realization. This woman.... she might be Dean and Sam's mother. That would make sense.... Even as a vampire, she was amazingly beautiful but surprisingly glowing. Judging by the faded colorization, the picture was obviously old but.... Castiel wondered if the mother was with child at the time it was taken. He then wondered if this was before her death, remembering that Dean was young when he lost her.

He soon glanced at the one behind it, seeing two young boys sitting on some old couch. He realized that it was Sam and Dean, appearing so youthful and innocent although Dean was seemingly scowling of the picture being taken. The older brother seemed to be at a teenage age, possibly at thirteen years old. The light blond hair darkened with a scraggly haircut, his expression amusingly petty with his cheeks puffed up at the camera. Sam, however, looked surprisingly small next to him and appeared content for the picture, his large hazel-green eyes looking up through the dark shaggy bangs while eating yogurt.

A great contrast to how they looked now, Castiel realized. His eyes wandered to the last one, and realized that it was farther away from the other two. He found that strange. He looked at the picture, and this time Sam and Dean were adults although the younger brother's haircut was different then while Dean's style was more or less the same as now. But.... between the brothers, there was a young slim man as they were standing in front of the Impala. He looked as if he was in his late teens, close to twenty years old, with dark sandy blond hair and light greenish-blue eyes, with a height close to Dean's.

But something was peculiar about the picture, Castiel distinguished. For one thing.... the boy, who was grinning, was hugged by Sam who was smiling as well with his arm looped over his shoulders. But his smile was legitimate.... while Dean seemed to be forcing himself to make a slight smirk. In fact, his entire body language was stiff, posing close to the boy but perceived to be leaning away from the two. Castiel wondered why. It appeared they knew him, but Dean didn't seem to wish acknowledgement of him. But then why does he have this picture....?

Castiel stepped back, not sure want to think of it. He walked to the door, hoping that Dean wouldn't sense him being nosy as he then opened it. But nothing was heard when he stepped out. "...." He walked downstairs, the living room was empty as he glanced over at the TV and see that it was after two in the afternoon. He didn't expect to sleep that long but now realized that he was very hungry by the grumbling of his stomach.

When he opened the fridge, he gazed briefly at the gallon container of blood hidden in the back, partially obscure by an assortment of food. Despite of the generosity, it seemed that all he could eat were cereal and sandwiches aside from the occasional fruit. Vampires don't seem to be the type to cook steak or chicken, the priest thought as he made his meal. He ate two sandwiches then decided to make a third, when he heard a muffled sound upstairs.

"...." Castiel looked up and waited until the sound ceased, wondering if Dean was present. Maybe he was, sleeping in Sam's bedroom with his younger brother. He felt hungry still, as he ate a third helping. He should be full, he could barely finish just one sandwich before feeling satisfied on a normal day. But.... was it the anemia that was making him feel so famished? He wasn't exactly sure. But he did feel a little better after eating three sandwiches, as he let out a deep sigh.

He wondered.... if Dean was here, then he shouldn't feel offended of asking more of their plan. Of what would they do about his identity. He had been the same person all his life, of following his true purpose by becoming a priest. But he doesn't have a back up plan. He wasn't sure what he could do if he couldn't wear the Cloth anymore.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Click! Click! Click!_

Castiel blinked by the sudden flash of light by Dean's phone, before the vampire took one more picture of his slightly bewildered face. "Hmm.... Good enough," rumbled Dean before showing it to Sam. "This good enough, Sammy?" he asked.

"If 'deer caught in the headlights' look is what you're going with, then sure...." sighed Sam and Dean frowned at that.

"He looks how he always looks," he frowned. "It's practically the same as his state ID. Just take it and send it to her. I'm sure she can make it work...."

"Uh.... May I ask what name will I go with should this happen?" mumbled Castiel, and both of the brothers blinked at him.

"Oh, right...." nodded Dean, taking out a folded piece of paper and gave it to the priest. "I got a few names, see which one you want." Castiel frowned a little but opened it up and skimmed it through, only to squint at it in confusion.

".... Dimitri Krushnic?" he questioned.

"The-- what kind of name is that, Dean?" scoffed Sam, raising an eyebrow at his brother.

"What, it sounds 'Cold War' to you?" grumbled Dean.

"It sounds pretty fake to me--"

"Eddie Moscone? Emmanuel Allen, Clarence Stewart-- What sort of names are these?" asked Castiel. It was Wednesday, a few nights had passed since Dean and Sam had supposedly made up in order to help him for real. So far, they had been rather placid and calm around each other but Castiel wasn't sure if it was a front to him. Sitting before them in the younger brother's bedroom, he frowned at the small list of names then glanced up at Dean. "You want me to pick one....?"

"Whichever sounds good to you, Padre...." huffed Dean, "unless you got a fake name for yourself already."

"Uh, n-no, I just feel a little overwhelmed of having to choose," Castiel shook his head. "The first one.... it sounds a bit like a Russian name. I don't think I appear as a Russian."

"Well.... with longer hair, you'd look like that Soviet terrorist from _24_ ," he joked a bit with a slight smile though the joke fell when the priest blinked at that. "Ahem.... pick and choose, man. The sooner the better, right....?"

"Oh, okay...." Castiel nodded as he looked over the list. Dean stared at him. The human appeared just fine.... although his appetite had seemed to increase. He wasn't sure if that was the side effect of consuming a pureblood's blood but it didn't seem to concern Sam, who had taken Dean's phone and connected it to his laptop.

"You know, if she does this for us, she might ask questions about it," muttered Sam with his fingers surprisingly moving fast on the keyboard.

"Just say that it's a runaway donor that we agree to help, bitch," muttered Dean.

"She'd still ask questions, Dean."

"Ugh, then we'll bribe her with comic books or something," he scoffed. "I dunno, Sammy, just lie to her." Castiel was vaguely listening, wondering if this is one of the human friends they had mentioned in their plan. Aside from the calm aura between the brothers, he himself had been feeling much better. The wound on his thigh had been healing faster than it had before, with less and less blood with each bandage change.

He had also noticed the older scars on his neck and shoulder were fading away quickly as well, close to unnoticeable on his skin. Surely over-the-counter medicine couldn't have done that, but he wasn't so sure.... Something wasn't right....

"Cas, what is it?"

"Huh?" Castiel glanced up to notice the older vampire staring quizzically at him.

"You seemed to be thinking hard. What's going on....?" asked Dean.

"Ah, nothing important, Dean.... I'll choose this one, I think," he pointed out at one name on the paper.

"Emmanuel, huh....?" he muttered and glanced over at Sam who sighed in concern. "Sounds like a good bet. So.... while we wait, is there.... anything you wanna do, Cas?"

"Hmm.... other than reading some books or watching television, there's nothing particular I'd like to do," sighed Castiel. That made Dean frown a little. Neither him or Sam had been around him whenever one of them had to leave the cabin for errands. For the most parts, Dean kept his short distance from the priest, just observing his recovery process as if it would turn out the wrong way. But nothing so far....

"Right.... Guess you're stuck with Sammy for the next couple of hours, then," he shrugged. "Just gotta make sure that the blood bank's up and running."

"Oh, sure...." Castiel understood. Dean glanced at him, noticing the almost non-existing scar near the human's throat. He began to wonder if he had given him too much blood, but he shook it off as he turned to his brother.

"You okay with that, Sammy?" he asked as he took back his phone.

"Yeah, it's fine, Dean," nodded Sam, and Dean made a brief smirk.

"Okay then...." he nodded as he walked out of the room. The air fell silent saved for the muffled footsteps then the sound of the door opening then closing. Castiel just sat there, not sure what to say to the tall vampire who was hunching over his computer. It only felt awkward since he didn't wish to ask if he truly made up with Dean.

"Uhm.... Sam?" he mumbled, and instantly he got his attention.

"Yeah?"

"Uh...." Castiel hesitated, thinking what to say. He could bring up the confession but he knew Sam wouldn't budge on the subject. He got to think of something, at least to pass the time. "Well.... are you feeling all right?" he asked eventually.

"I.... feel fine, Cas," shrugged Sam. "Why? Is it because I patched things up with Dean, is that what weirded you out?"

"Ah, I didn't mean it that way--"

"No, it's fine.... Sorry if you think otherwise," he sighed, as he stood straight up. "Dean's coming around. He's back to his old self, close to it, I mean. And it's been a while since we've been able to breathe easily."

"Wh-what do you mean?" asked Castiel.

".... To us, the days just blur together," he sighed tiredly. "The only sense we got out of this is when the seasons change. And this was way before my brother became a leader."

"Blur? So you don't celebrate holidays or even your birthdays, Sam?" muttered Castiel, and Sam blinked at that.

"Oh.... fuck, it's next week, isn't it?" he realized.

"Huh....?"

"Next week's the start of May.... I'm turning 30 on the 2nd," he muttered, with a deep frown.

"In May?" asked Cas and the vampire nodded. "Oh.... it's supposed to be a happy occasion, isn't it?"

".... It's only me and Dean, what's there to celebrate?" he sighed.

"Well.... I'm sort of here...." he pointed out. Sam glanced at him and put up a small smile.

"Funny...." he sighed deeply, striding to his bed and sat down. "To us, it's just another day, we just have to remember that we're a year older after a while. It's not like we'll live for long anyway...."

".... That's a terrible way to say something like that, Sam," frowned Castiel. Sam looked at him, his gaze somber now before letting out a deep sigh. "Sam.... Dean's not returning for the next few hours. You can trust me on your past sins, if there's any more of it." Sam stared at him, exhaling with distress.

"What I got to say is that.... you _will_ look at me and Dean differently if I say any more," he huffed. "There's a reason why we're excluded from our kind--"

"Because of your 'cursed' bloodline, right?" Castiel muttered with a shake of her head. "I'm not exactly looking at you any more different than just that."

"As I said before, you wouldn't understand, Cas," sighed Sam.

"Then try me," challenged Castiel and Sam blinked at the sudden boldness from the priest. "Just.... try to perturb me of the facts, Sam. I've had heard confessions that have involved family problems. If you still think that the secrets you have cannot be compared to that, I would still wish to know...."

".... Sorry, I can't," he frowned. "At least, not with Dean being gone at the moment. He'd be pissed off if I just blabbed it out. It's called a family secret for a reason."

"And does it involve your late mother....?" he pressed and the vampire stayed silent at that as he looked away. "Or your late father, for that matter? Do you have any extended relatives from either parent, Sam....?"

".... We got cousins, from our mother's side, but that's just it," muttered Sam. "Third cousins, once or twice removed, it doesn't matter.... They have never wanted anything to do with us anyway.... I see no reason to mention them, Cas...."

"Why? Are they like you-- a pureblood?"

Sam scoffed at that almost disdainfully and Castiel frowned in surprise at his response. "They wish.... Like how I was the 'last chance' for my family, my mother was the last chance for those selfish bastards, as she was the last known pureblood of her family...."

Castiel got it now. The cousins.... they were mixbloods, although he was still uncertain about the vampire class between those two types. ".... How so, Sam....?" he muttered carefully. "Was there a reason why you and Dean were shunned out of your mother's family....?"

".... It has to do with my mother marrying the wrong man," huffed Sam, and the priest blinked at that. "Even in our world, there's still such a thing as arranged marriage. My mother was raised diligently by the cousins after the death of her parents, trying to make her the 'perfect bride' to some other pureblood who wanted to marry her. But.... she was infamously stubborn to the point-- that's probably where Dean gets it from, and resisted the arrangement. And through all that time, she met and fell in love with Dad...."

"And because of that, you were resented by your extended family....?" muttered Castiel, and Sam nodded.

"As the story goes...." he sighed ruefully. "We met them a few years after our mother's death.... Because of him and us, they lost their only chance to make alliance with this other pureblood. They didn't wish to associate with us in any way. Because of the 'curse' on us...."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Sam...." Castiel nodded in sympathy. But again, Sam was avoiding the topic of this so-called curse, he noticed that. With the relatives not caring about the brothers' predicaments, it sounded much too cruel. But there must be someone who cared about them, other than their human uncle.

Then he remembered. That photo he saw that one day after getting over that fever. ".... What about that boy, Sam?" he asked. Sam looked up at him with total confusion, as he furrowed his eyebrows.

"What boy?" he questioned.

"I.... When I came out of my fever, I saw the photographs on Dean's desk in his bedroom," he admitted. "In one picture, I noticed both you and Dean with another person in between. Do you know him, Sam?" At that, Sam seemed to know what he was talking about, as his shoulders relaxed with resignation.

"That guy.... he's also related to us...." he muttered.

"On your mother's side....?" asked Castiel but Sam said nothing. But suddenly he got it. "A relative on your father's side, then.... You seemed to be happy of being around him in that photograph, but then why do you insist that both of you are alone in this--"

"Because we _are_ , Cas," sighed Sam, looking right at him. "It'll always be us against the world.... That has always been that way.... What else do you want me to say?" Seeing the defeated look on his face made the priest feel regrettable of his questions.

".... I didn't mean to pry--" he apologized as he got up.

"It's okay, Cas. Just.... there's no need to try to understand our situation, when you're leaving here soon," he pointed out. Right.... that was true.... Castiel understood that. And yet at the same time.... he doesn't believe that he should leave yet. He wasn't sure what it was exactly but.... maybe it was his priestly duty to see this through.

"I.... I think I should retire for the night," sighed Castiel, turning to leave the room.

"Oh, okay then, Cas...." nodded Sam. He was left alone, his throat tightened at the past thoughts. His maternal relatives disowned them, while the only one they got from their father's side.... he wondered what has been going on with him. It had been a few years since they met him.... He wasn't sure if everything was going fine with him, in his own world safely away from the 'curse'. He now wondered if Dean felt the same way, after all he had the picture in his room.

Another hour of thinking in silence, Sam perked up when he heard Dean coming in downstairs. He stood up and stepped out of his room, waiting until his brother came into view. "Huh.... What's up, Sammy? I noticed that Cas turned in for the night," he muttered.

"Really, that's good. But there's something I need to talk to you about, Dean," he suggested. Dean blinked at that and frowned a bit, wondering what he meant by that.

"Okay, then...." he frowned, walking back into the bedroom. Sam cleared his throat and closed his door before sitting back down on his bed. "Shoot.... What's on your mind this time, Sammy?" sighed Dean, plopping down on the chair.

"It's Cas...." Sam replied.

"Not surprising," he shrugged and his little brother frowned at him.

"Remember that I mentioned the confession, of my first sin, Dean....?" sighed Sam.

"Right...."

"Um.... I only told him that after going to Dad and getting our asses kicked because of what I've done, we just fled to Bobby's place," he said.

"Right, we did, Sam," nodded Dean but Sam shook his head.

"He could sense it. Castiel has a feeling that I'm hiding more than that, after we got to Bobby," muttered Sam. "It wasn't that I didn't want to reveal it just like that.... But can't you understand if he were to know the real reason why we are cursed? You think he'd look at us the same way, Dean?"

"Oh.... that...." Dean took a deep breath and rubbed a hand over his face, his jaw still covered with stubbles as he then scratched his chin. ".... You should have," he mumbled and the younger vampire blinked at that.

"R-really? But Dean-- the other purebloods and even most of the mixbloods are repulsed by our bloodline," he scoffed with disbelief. "You think a human wouldn't feel the same way?"

"Sammy, a very few hunters and Benny don't give a shit about it," sighed Dean. "Hell, Bobby was the one who revealed it to us.... He didn't seem freaked out about it."

"But that's Bobby, he's like a second father to us plus he had collected all the vampire lore and records he could to make sense of it," muttered Sam. "But Cas-- he's a priest whose deep beliefs contradict our entire existence. If anything, us just being alive is nothing a sin to his eyes."

"All the more reasons to tell him," frowned Dean, crossing his arms over his chest. "If he gets freaked out over it, then that's his problem...."

"But.... It's more than that, Dean," Sam shook his head. "He asked more questions.... about our family. And he.... saw that photo in your room."

"Hm? Photo?" he muttered.

".... Of Adam, Dean," he responded, and Dean's eyes widened in surprise. "Should I tell him about it, also....?"

"Tch.... Adam, right...." he huffed deeply. "Whatever, Sammy, if you wanna explain it to him, then do it.... Whether he would understand it or not, it wouldn't matter. He'd be gone anyway." Sam frowned at that. Dean wasn't sounding dismissive about it but to air out secrets to someone that will be gone within a few weeks didn't seem to be a good idea. ".... Let me guess, Sammy, you're having second thoughts about it."

"Well, of course, Dean," sighed Sam.

"Then I'll do it--"

"No. Knowing you, you'd butcher the explanation and make it worse," he frowned at him and Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Not really, just that my explanation would involve less diagrams," he muttered seriously. "I'm the type of guy that'd go straight to the point. You should understand that. If he keeps on insisting about it, then I'll tell him. I mean, after all, if he really wants to hear our fucked up family history."

"Hm, fine," Sam relented. "Just don't do it so harshly, you have a tendency to let your emotions act out and you'd act like a dick for it." The subtle insult didn't seem to faze Dean, as he pondered over it. Better to say it to the priest than revealing that he had used his blood to heal him. He would rather hold that in, as long as he could, even if and when they let Castiel go. "Dean.... do you think we're doing the right thing here?" he asked. "Revealing something like that to Cas....?"

"Hard to say, Sammy...." sighed Dean. "What's right is wrong, and what's wrong is even more wrong.... Our choices are so conflicting, there's nothing we can do about it.... even if we do fight against it...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Go faster, go faster.... the pedals kept going in an unstoppable motion as the ten-year-old boy rode his bicycle through the streets. The town of Pontiac was calm and quiet, although the schoolchildren were already out during the early afternoon. The boy, however, rushed out the moment the dismissal bell rang and got on his bike. He couldn't be late, as he panted with each pump of his legs. His black-brown frazzled hair whipped through the wind, his wide crystal-blue eyes on alert to avoid passerbys and vehicles._

_He wanted to be prompt on arrival. That would always make his mother feel appreciative although she had warned him time and again not to act so reckless on his bicycle. It didn't matter, he hadn't been hurt yet, as he made a sharp turn to his destination. "Whew....!" he exhaled in relief when it came into view. At the end of the road was a large cathedral. This church was like his second home, with his after-school errands occupying him while his mother worked._

_The boy skidded on his brakes and the bicycle halted just before the stone steps and got off it. "Oh....! Father, Father, I'm here....!" he grinned, dragging it up the steps before moving to open the heavy wooden doors. Passing the foyer, he panted deeply when he then entered the interior hall. Sunlight seeping through the stained glass windows, depicting bibical images of archangels and patron saints protecting the praying Christians. The natural lighting filled up the area made of grey-white marble with mahogany pews._

_At the end of the hall, at the decorated altar, was a man cloaked in a white robe with his back turned to the boy. The man appeared old with greying hair but he was kind as much as the boy knew, as he grinned. "Father, I'm here....!" he called out, walking up to him._

_The man seemed to heard him and turned to see. But the moment he had done that, the boy halted his steps. He blinked. This doesn't feel right.... something wasn't right. His sapphire blue eyes stared at the man's face with absolute apprehension. Because the robed man's face.... was shadowed._

_"Welcome back.... Castiel...."_

"Ah....! Hahh...." panted Castiel. His widened eyes just stared at the ceiling as he took in deep sharp breaths. What.... was that about....?

Was that.... a dream....?

"Lord in Heaven...." he gasped as he sat up on the air mattress. It was a dream.... an actual dream. It wasn't fragmented like the very few ones he would have. It was full and vivid, right up to his awakening. "Oh Lord...." Was it a good thing, to have something like that?

But wait.... it was more than just a dream, he realized. It was a memory. Yes, he remembered it now.... going to that church after school. He would go there a few days a week not counting Sunday.... But that was strange. Strange because.... that priest's face.... It was shadowed, he couldn't see the face in a bright place like that. He made him feel uncomfortable as he breathed as calmly as he could. Rubbing his face, Castiel glanced up to see that it was half past eight.

".... Goodness...." he breathed. He couldn't go back to sleep now. The dream was much too alarming for him to do so, as he got off the makeshift bed and put it away. It was something considering that it was the first dream he have had in nearly twenty years. Maybe he should mention this to Sam, his problems of not dreaming were known to the taller vampire.

His noises seemed to catch attention upstairs, when one of the doors opened. No sound aside from the soft footsteps were heard, until Sam came into view. "Cas.... are you okay? I heard you muttering," Sam mumbled tiredly.

"Oh.... Would it be shocking to you if I said that I just had a dream?" Cas asked uneasily. That caught Sam off guard, as he blinked in utter surprise.

"A-a dream, you say?" he questioned.

"Is that a bad thing....?"

"Well.... I don't know, do you feel alarmed by it, Cas?" Sam asked quietly.

"I'm.... not sure...." sighed Castiel. "But.... it felt more like a memory than a dream, however. About.... riding my bike as a young child."

"Really....?" Sam frowned in surprise. He wondered.... "About the accident, Cas?"

"No. It was different," he shook his head as he walked to the kitchen. "I left school, got on my bike and was rushing to somewhere.... A church. That's right, a church that my mother and I were members to...."

"Oh, I see...." nodded Sam. It sounded like a memory, he noted, as he eyed at the priest looking inside the fridge. "What else, you remembering anything other than that?"

".... There was a man in the church, but it was obvious that he was a priest," Castiel replied quietly. "I think.... I remember him, but I'm not sure," he sighed, taking out a mostly empty container of strawberries with three pieces left. "His face, I couldn't see it.... I found it strange. If it's my memory, I would think I know this priest."

"I see...." Castiel hadn't been able to dream for most of his life but to have vivid detailed one out of the blue.... It must be the blood Dean had given him during the fever. But this was the first ever thing Sam had heard of it. He exhaled, he wasn't sure if mental damage can be cured like that but he should relay this to Dean if his brother was still asleep upstairs. "Okay, that's interesting...." he nodded. "Guess I'll go back to sleep then."

"Okay then, I'll wait," he said and the tall vampire blinked at that.

"Wait for what, Cas....?" he asked quietly.

"For either of you to go shopping. There's.... no more bread and milk and.... any other foodstuff required to make meals," he pointed out.

"Ohh.... Crap," Sam sighed in realization. "I knew I forgot something.... Well, I'm already up, guess I could make a quick run and get you something."

"Oh, I don't mind--"

"Cas, I'm used to walking around during the day, it's all right," nodded Sam, turning back to the stairs. "Is there anything you'd like from the supermarket by any chance?"

"Um, I have no specific need.... I wouldn't exactly know unless I'm there to see what I want...." His voice died down and frowned. Of course, he had nearly forgotten that he was a hostage as he looked away. "It doesn't matter, Sam, I'm sorry to bother you--"

"No it's okay, Cas," Sam nodded in apology. "Don't worry, it'll be better soon enough...." Castiel glanced at him and nodded slightly in agreement. Turning to the stairs, the taller vampire froze when he saw Dean coming down. "Dean....?" he frowned in slight confusion when he saw his older brother coming up to the puzzled priest with a baseball cap and aviators.

"It's safe.... The nearest town is unaware of his disappearance, I already checked," he muttered, placing on Castiel's face.

"H-huh....?" gasped Castiel.

"Dean, you're saying that-- you don't mind Cas going out there?" asked Sam, blinking at Dean who was going back upstairs.

"We did say that we're gonna help him.... It'd do him good to let him go out for some fresh air," he shrugged. "You don't think so, Sammy....?"

"Um, yeah but I'm a bit confused about it," he sighed, following after him. "Are you really sure about this, Dean....?"

"What can I say? I'm feeling a bit charitable about it," nodded Dean. "Aside from wanting to explain our family history, we should let him trust us more by the time we let him go," he muttered to him. "And we can start by doing this for him.... That should be fair...."

If that wasn't the most sensible thing coming out of his older brother's mouth, Sam would think this was a completely different person talking to him as he looked at Dean with mild astonishment. "Oh.... wow," he sighed. "If you think so, Dean.... I'll hurry up and change, and take Cas out food shopping."

"Thanks...." muttered Dean, yawning a bit as he went back to his room. Flopping back to his bed, he laid there, listening to the shuffling noises of footsteps for a while before the door downstairs opened then closed. After that, silence. Shifting to his back, he huffed deeply as he attempted to go back to sleep. He honestly still felt tired but somehow he felt wired.

Right....

Castiel wasn't here. He couldn't hear his even breathing or him making awkward shuffling to Sam's office to read a book or two. It felt strange not sensing his presence here.... But he heard, however.... Cas was able to dream, about a distant memory when he was a kid.... "Shit...." he exhaled deeply. Was it because of his blood....? That the supposed mental illness was temporarily put on a damper simply because he wanted Castiel to get better?

He wasn't sure, as he shifted to his side, his half-lidded eyes stared at the photographs on the desk. Particularly at the last one.... He felt bad for acting like that those few years ago, when it wasn't Adam's fault for being related to him and Sam. He wondered if he should attempt to call him.... only to immediately think against it as he gritted his teeth. He had forgotten about it. Sam wasn't the only one who was threatened as being expendable by the purebloods....

And Adam doesn't even know that his life was on the line, even though he had nothing to do with their deal. But to Dean's opinion, those purebloods didn't care about that. Their only concern was about getting what they want out of them, as the vampire scoffed tiredly. "Shit...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"...." Castiel wasn't sure if he should feel nervous or in awe of being out in the open after days of being stuck inside the cabin. But to be in a nearby town of Whitefish, standing in the bread aisle, it felt rather surreal.... Not to mention that having a tall vampire right behind him as they browsed felt more unsettling. But he couldn't believe his luck. Sunglasses instead of being blindfolded, he was trusted enough to get out of the cabin and being led out of the forest via car. He was able to take in his surroundings, trying to absorb where he was.

But.... he didn't see it as a way to escape by any means. It wasn't that Sam being close by would hinder that thought. As much as it sounded perplexed to him, the vampires had trusted him and it would go against his beliefs to break that. ".... You ever eat this one, Cas?" Sam asked, picking up a jar of crunchy peanut butter and Castiel blinked at him.

"Well, you have to chew more because of the peanuts, and that's kind of annoying," he muttered quietly.

"Hmm, makes sense," he nodded as he set it back. Even indoors, Sam was wearing his own sunglasses for his sensitive eyes although the priest took off the borrowed aviators. "You see anything you want, Cas?" he asked as they moved to another aisle.

"I.... don't have any particular favorites, but...." Castiel trailed off, glancing at a shelf with assortments of jar of honey. "I do enjoy this, however," he pointed out and picked out a small one and put it in his basket. He then glanced over at Sam, noticing how the vampire's larger hand seemed to dwarf the basket he was holding, before looking around again. It was still morning, only a few shoppers around with their attentions elsewhere. They weren't paying attention to them at all, except for one elderly woman who couldn't reach for baking ingredients on the top shelf.

Without being asked to, Sam helped her and placed the items in her shopping cart. "Oh, thank you so much...." she smiled softly in gratitude.

"Anytime," nodded Sam, vaguely hearing her muttering about young folks still being generous when she walked away.

"Do you often do that for complete strangers?" asked Castiel.

"Not really.... But I guess it helps, concerning my height," Sam shrugged with a light smile. "But it is kind of imposing, as if they sense that I'm considered...." He shrugged again, with a frown this time. "Anyway.... all we got so far are bread, PB and J, honey, and bananas. Not exactly enough for a week, huh?"

"Well.... neither you or Dean seemed to be the type to cook, considering that I haven't seen you doing so," replied the priest.

"Yeah well, with weeks rolling into months since being here, me and Dean were reverting into almost exclusively on blood and liquor," sighed the tall vampire. "Well, we actually got a few pots around if you want to cook something for yourself, Cas."

"I barely know how to cook soup right, I doubt that would be a problem," he sighed though Sam huffed out a brief chuckle.

"How did you manage to survive all this time?" he joked.

"I guess.... the blessing of God....?" frowned Castiel, and that made Sam chuckle more.

"Let's hope so, Cas," he smirked as they walked to another area. Castiel could only frown, but shrugged it off. He glanced up, and nearly froze when he noticed a fully uniformed police officer at the opposite end of the aisle. The cop was just looking around, not even paying attention to Sam who was busy browsing at canned goods. But Castiel felt immediate anxiety when the officer decidedly strolled down.

There was a chance.... Even though Dean had said that it was safe for him to come out, the chance of being recognized by an officer felt greatly disturbing. No doubt that his disappearance could be known here, considering the sparse towns and small cities in this state. He could feel his heart beating faster and faster, yet Sam didn't seem to be aware of it at the moment despite being close by.

"...." Castiel stiffened and averted his eyes when the cop got closer. If he was to see him and knew who he was.... What would Sam do? Take him out in a public space with plenty of witnesses? He wasn't sure what could happen, as his heart was beating faster to the point of hurting his chest the moment the police officer stepped by him. Barely a yard away yet the priest could feel the eyes momentarily on him.... would he be recognized like this....?

".... Hey, Emmanuel?"

"H-huh....?" Castiel blinked in absolute confusion and glanced up at Sam holding two cans of soup. Did he just call him by that fake name just now?

"All-time favorite chicken noodle, or plain old tomato. Take your pick," nodded Sam. He appeared absolutely oblivious to the cop, who resumed walking. Castiel just stared at him, as if he was looking at a headless chicken. He was practically sweating bullets but Sam didn't show any outward concern about it. "Emmanuel....?" he muttered and the priest nearly squeaked at being addressed.

"I.... I'm not sure...." he mumbled but the tall vampire merely frowned.

"Tomato it is then.... Lycopene's good for the blood," he shrugged, taking three cans. "Come on, let's grab some juice and milk...." Sam started to walk away, and Castiel hesitated before following after him. He was sure that he knew, the fear and the frantic heartbeats were more than enough to notice. As a matter of fact, he thought for sure that he would give them away. Going to the back aisle, Sam inhaled deeply and glanced around. No one was nearby.... before turning to Castiel. "It's fine.... you thought that the cop would notice you, right?" he muttered quietly.

"Huh....? Well, y-yeah...." nodded Castiel, wide blue eyes peeking underneath the cap. "You _knew_ , Sam....? That I was having a near anxiety attack of being noticed....?" he questioned him.

"Kind of ironic that we feared being seen by the other vamps but we're not the type to give a shit about human cops," he nodded. "It's okay, Cas. Dean said it was safe, he checked it out himself. But I get it, I honestly didn't think that a police officer would be snooping around here."

"But.... what if he saw my face regardless, and recognized it-- what would happen if they found out about you and Dean?" he questioned, and Sam nodded at that in understanding.

"Well, no need to worry.... I highly doubt that it would happen," he sighed, picking up a gallon of milk. "But if you're that paranoid, then you can grow out your hair and a beard, looking like a recluse hippie." Castiel blinked at that, not sure if he should take that as joke. But if Sam was assuring him about not being caught out in the open, then he should take his words for it.

"Okay then.... but what about the others, I mean, one of your kind seeing us?" he asked.

"Doubt it, I'm the only weird one who bothers to walk around during the daytime," sighed Sam before putting up a light though sad smile. "To be honest, I prefer it that way. My kind wouldn't bother with me anyway...."

"Because of the--" Castiel stopped himself from mentioning the family curse. But the tall vampire glanced at him for a moment before moving to another aisle.

"Nothing personal, Cas.... Ironically enough, I'd rather be left alone than being surrounded by those who feared me for something I can't control," he sighed heavily.

"Because they don't understand your predicaments, of what you have been going through, Sam," frowned Castiel, finally calming down as he followed after him.

"More like they don't want to," he sighed. "Maybe if I was normal, or have riches that rival the Hilton family, they wouldn't need to be afraid of me. Dean, however...."

".... Yeah....?"

"During the first few months since being forced into becoming a leader, Dean sucked big time," Sam scoffed softly. "We were unwanted by them, despite fearing repercussion by the other purebloods, so of course we would be unwelcomed here. And most of all me.... just showing my face makes them distant away from me, even though I've helped them on some occasions. And I was actually reluctant to-- simply because Dean was spiteful and would rather let them deal with their own shit."

Sam wasn't paying attention to the packaged food, even though he was staring at it as he exhaled heavily. ".... Dean decided to tell you, if you're truly okay with it," he muttered, and Castiel blinked at that in utter surprise.

"Huh?"

"The truth.... about why we're considered 'cursed', Cas," he muttered and glanced at him. "That our lives are hanging by the thread, because we're unwanted.... Isn't that what you wish to know, Cas?" The priest could only look at him, unsure what to say of it. So Dean would tell him.... Something he hadn't expected of, he realized. Sam was the more sympathetic due to his past moral crimes, but to listen the older brother opening up sounded rather incredulous.

In fact, the last time Dean had attempted to do so, it came out reluctant and strenuous on the vampire's part when he apologized to him. As a matter of fact, Castiel didn't think of talking about it to Dean lately but if he were to listen about this family secret.... maybe he won't have to bring it up. "Of course, Sam.... Tonight, whenever Dean's ready for it," he agreed with a nod. "And I promise you that I won't react so appallingly about it," he added, watching Sam's concerned expression.

"Yeah, well.... let's hope so," he sighed deeply, glancing at the food. "You know how to cook pasta, Cas?"

"No, they always end up mushy but I would say some grace and swallow it down after making it," muttered Castiel. Sam glanced at him again and couldn't help cracking a light smirk.

"You say that with a straight face, yet it sounds kind of funny," he smiled, and Castiel frowned at that. He didn't understand why it sounded like a joke to Sam but at least mood had lightened. Something he hadn't enjoyed for a very long time....

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_".... I see that you've found my Blue Label just fine." Sitting behind the book-littered desk in the den with a full bottle in his hand, Dean glanced up to see Bobby strolling in. The room was dark now that it was evening, as his glowing but tired eyes then looked away and swigged a few deep gulps. "How ya holding up, Dean?" Bobby asked quietly._

_"Just peachy.... Feel like puking my guts out but at least this is holding me down for a while," he mumbled. His human uncle just huffed through his nose and shook his head. It wasn't that he was dismissive of his behavior, however, as he sat down in a nearby chair._

_"Not sure who's taking it worse-- but you're the one using alcohol to hold it in," he grumbled. "But Sam's just laying in the basement in a stunned daze. And I can't blame him-- and you, for that manner, boy." Dean shrugged in agreement, taking another gulp of the dark amber liquid._

_"And for Dad to hold in that shit for so long. I'm actually surprised that he didn't crack sooner after Mom's death," he scoffed softly._

_"Sounds a little curt, if you ask me...."_

_"Yeah, well, this is the same guy who didn't wanna get his hands dirty," he frowned, gritting his sharp teeth. "Instead, he asked his own son to kill his other own son.... Father of the fucking Year he is."_

_"Dean--"_

_"Don't say that it's the booze talking," he frowned at Bobby, who frowned back with his beard ruffled up._

_"What I was about to say.... your daddy's been around since the government screwed up Prohibition," he muttered. "He had lived a lifetime and a half, and the first part of that he was doing okay for himself. But after what he found out about his own mother-- your grandma for that manner-- and the things she had done, it truly is no wonder that he didn't crack like you said."_

_"Tch.... sounds like you're defending him," huffed Dean._

_"Well, partially I am. But that's because he's your father, Dean," Bobby pointed out._

_"The same father who became paranoid of Sam's condition and beat the living crap outta him whenever he duked it out with other vamps." The vampire had already drunk half the bottle before finally setting it down. "Didn't help that he would drink enough liquor to close down half of Germany, making the shit worse. Does that sound right to you, Bobby?"_

_"Nothing in this world ever sounds right, Dean," Bobby admitted. "But.... maybe he was out of his gourd at the time, he was drunk and probably didn't mean it."_

_".... He meant it, Bobby, because he's scared of the other purebloods," muttered Dean, a sad frown twisted his face as he shook his head. "But at least it makes sense, in a way. After all, they're the same fuckers who destroyed most of the documents about the Knight family.... Hell, they probably killed them off just to prove their powers over the other vamps. Maybe that's why Dad's paranoid as fuck."_

_".... Dean.... If and when he gets here--" the older man said._

_"No, he's not gonna come in here, I wouldn't risk that for Sammy's sake," he scoffed at him._

_"He is your father--"_

_"He's a fucking asshole, that's what he is....!" he growled, fangs close to baring as he abruptly stood up. "All my life, he left me to take care of Sammy and didn't give a crap about me! But when he started to pay attention, it was when the condition was starting to come out. And the only solution was to treat him like an animal, a fucking beast....! If anything, he treated us like a couple of punching bags all because he failed at one vital thing in his life!"_

_"I get that, Dean....!" huffed Bobby in a scolding manner. "That's gonna be hanging over his head for the rest of his life, but I doubt that could be an excuse for his actions. It's easier to blame it that way but I see it as a load of crap in my opinion."_

_"Tch.... Yeah, that's **your** opinion, Bobby," Dean scoffed, picking up the bottle. "But my old man had used that and any other excuses to blame it on us. And I myself doubt that it was the alcohol talking."_

_"Dean...." Bobby's face went solemn as he got up and walked around the desk. "I really get it, I understand that you're hurt about this...." he muttered quietly. "I've known you since both of you were tykes and barely growing out your fangs. But.... if you rather act antagonistic towards your father, that wouldn't do any good."_

_".... Yeah, I get that," he frowned grimly. "I've tried so hard to please him growing up, following his orders without hesitation. And I was that close of getting into his good graces, wanting to agree with his decision of taking away Sammy's only opportunity for a better life.... Guess he was right all along."_

_"You don't mean that, boy...."_

_"Yeah, I know I don't," he nodded, lifting the bottle to his lips. But Bobby gently grasped his wrist and looked at his slightly confused face._

_"Right now.... Sam needs you. After everything that had happened, he's afraid. Of John, the other purebloods, and most of all himself. You can't do it like this, Dean...." Bobby took the bottle from his hand and set it aside, and Dean let him. He was right. The death of Sam's girlfriend was barely two weeks ago; his little brother's grieving emotions overtook him and killed his former friend. And then his father demanding his death, and now this.... Pouring salt on a fresh wound was a vast understatement._

_"Then what can I do, Bobby....?" he sighed grimly. "We can't stay here, not with Dad coming to find us. And I could barely provide for myself let alone with Sammy. I dunno what to do about it...."_

_"You idjit...." Bobby scolded softly. "You forget that I'm here.... Whether it's pride or shame, you know better than not asking me for help. You should've warned me that it was getting worse, boy. My phone was right there...."_

_"I know.... I'm so sorry, Bobby, I was just so concerned about Sammy, that's all," nodded Dean and his uncle understood, patting his shoulder. "All right.... If you got any idea, I'm all ears. Sam really needs some help and I'm at a loss here."_

_"Well, first things first, let's get some food in you guys...." he nodded. "You mind stuffing down on chili?"_

_"Yeah, just lay off the salt. Felt like I was gargling the Dead Sea the last time," he muttered, managing a small smile. Bobby followed suit, as they left the den. But Dean paused in the short hallway and glanced at the slightly opened door at the end. He pondered for a moment to go downstairs and talked to Sam. His little brother was troubled and disturbed about the revelation but most of all quiet about it, as if not sure what to think of it._

_He wasn't sure what to think of it either, because it brought more questions than answers. But he doubted that his father have any answer for that if he dares to come here. "...." Vaguely aware of the sounds and smells of the kitchen, Dean decided to go see Sam. Both of them needed some comfort for now, after everything that had been happening so far._

"Here..." Dean blinked in surprise when a small package was tossed onto his lap. He was distractedly reading some pulpy book on his bed when Sam suddenly stepped into his bedroom. He blinked again before glancing down, seeing that it was a package of black licorice.

"Seriously? I hadn't had these since forever," he smirked, picking it up.

"Well, I wouldn't forget those dirt-flavored candy," sighed Sam before frowning lightly. "I mentioned that they were your favorite and then Cas suggested that we should get it for you. You don't mind, do you?"

"Wha.... no, it's okay. Nearly forgotten how these Twizzlers tasted," sighed Dean, putting away the book. "Speaking of which, how's the padre doing? He forgot how the sun looked like?" he joked lightly.

"He did fine, a little skittish when he saw a police officer but other than that--" he replied.

"He freaked out over five-o? That sucks," frowned Dean.

"No, no, he's fine. But it's all right, he's in the living room after the shopping," nodded Sam. "He, uh.... I told him that you're willing to tell him the truth about our family curse," he said, and his older brother blinked at that.

".... Really? And you didn't tell me when you came straight home?" he asked.

"You were dead asleep, and I know because you had your hand in your boxers when I peeked in earlier," he shrugged. "To be honest, I wasn't sure if it was safe to come in a second ago."

"Hah-hah...." Dean huffed before looking at the candy package. After a brief moment, the vampire opened it and took out a couple of licorice. "So.... he really wanted to know our dirty little secret. Good to know. When does he wanna know?"

"Hm, tonight, like, anytime now."

"Wow, the dude moves fast," muttered Dean. The earthy tart taste of the chewy candy was on his tongue as he took a few bites. "Great.... Well, gimme a moment alone with my guilty pleasure.... and my porn," he smirked at his brother, who frowned disapprovingly.

"Whatever, Dean...." The lame humor was coming back, but at least that was good. He went downstairs, seeing that Castiel was reading the bible on the couch. The sounds from the TV was low, neither of them was paying attention to it before Sam cleared his throat. "Um, Cas....?" he muttered, and the priest looked up in response.

"Yes, Sam....?" he muttered.

"Dean's getting ready to tell you, if that's what you want to know," he nodded.

"Oh... all right, Sam," he nodded, closing the bible as he stood up. He was thinking about it all day, of how to take this in once it happens. But now that he was feeling anxious with his heart seemingly beating faster. "This secret.... Do you honestly think I would react terribly upon it?" he asked.

"I don't know.... You've listened to a lot of confessions, some more worse than others, right?" he asked quietly, as they moved to the kitchen.

"Of course."

"And have you felt.... I don't know, disgusted or distraught by some of the stories?" questioned Sam with a concern frown. Castiel glanced at him and shook his head a bit.

"I was far more concerned for them than be disgusted," he sighed. "Maybe it's because in the end I would pray for them. And maybe I could do the same for you two, Sam, if you don't mind."

".... It'd take more than a simple prayer to this, Cas, trust me," muttered Sam with a grim frown. Castiel noticed that, wondering what he meant by his comment, before Dean came downstairs. He shuddered and glanced away out of reflex, although the vampire didn't seem to notice as he made a beeline for the fridge.

"All right.... First things first...." he sighed heavily, taking out a six-pack.

"Dean...." Sam frowned at him.

"We both need this, Sammy. C'mon, sit down...." nodded Dean and gestured the priest to the chair. Castiel did so, while the brothers sat across from him. Dean snapped one can open and offered another to his brother who took it. He then took long gulps, finishing the beer, then opened another one. "Okay.... Where do you want me to start, Padre?" he asked the anxious human. "That me and Sam found out about our family secret, that it started over sixty years ago....?"

"Sixty?" Castiel repeated in surprise.

"Since our grandfather was killed by his wife.... who happened to be our grandmother, Cas," Dean muttered, taking a couple of gulps. Castiel nearly let out a gasp but held it back, but his widened eyes was a better reaction. "Wow.... you're freaking out and that's not even the worse part," he sighed heavily.

"Come on, Dean," Sam muttered at him.

"All right, all right.... Damn...." nodded Dean. "Let's start way into the beginning, with the Winchester line.... Us purebloods got documented family trees, and with our family the origin was practically started during the Tudors era-- not the hot glamorous one like that show on Showtime. Then our great-great grandfather hopped onto the boat to America, he and his kid thrived, then that kid grew up and had our grandfather, named Henry. By then, the population of mixbloods was rising and so was the budding orginization of vampire hunters.

"But there were more purebloods and such, about over a dozen well-known families in the country. Some of them controlled the lesser vamps, even controlling the barely established states at the time. But.... based of what we've heard, Henry kept to himself and became a scholar. Sammy probably got the oddball gene from him, as he preferred being around humans and even had human friends who knew of his true nature. He was, however, the type who would rather find the solution for both kinds to co-exist peacefully.... Heh, what a dreamer...."

Castiel blinked in utter surprise. This grandfather of theirs sounded very well-meaning, not acting like a stereotypical monster. Dean finished the second can but didn't move to get another one, as he cleared his throat.

"There's a belief that.... the purebloods must stick together for the sake of their bloodlines. It didn't matter if you're rich or broke back then, sometimes the family name is good enough to hook up. And in Henry's case.... it was our grandmother, a lone daughter of the Knight family." With the way he had mentioned her, it sounded almost scornful to the priest, who frowned with concern. He glanced over at Sam, but the younger brother was just staring at the can in his hand, his expression fixed with concealed distress.

"Um.... Is this it, the secret--" muttered Castiel but Dean shook his head.

"Nope, this is just the fluffy stuff," he sighed heavily. "I think they loved each other-- I believed so. Got a kid and everything, who happened to be our dad.... But then.... decades later, that was when the shit hit the fan." Now Sam reacted, exhaling deeply as he opened the beer can and took a sip. The younger brother seemed more bothered by the story than Dean, Castiel noticed. He wondered why, as his hand clenched on the bible tightly. "It just happened.... Usually back then, death of humans were kept to a minimal, to prevent a statewide panic," he muttered.

".... Our grandfather, though a vampire, was a true pacifist, never harmed anyone in his entire life," Sam spoke up. His tone quiet but somber. "He was also one of the few purebloods who controlled a state at the time. And the state.... was Illinois, Cas," he added, noticing the shocked look on the priest's face.

"R-really....?" he gasped and Dean blinked at that.

"Why so surprised?" he questioned.

"Illinois is Cas' birthplace, Dean," nodded Sam.

"Oh.... Awesome," Dean frowned. "Like Sam said. Henry was like Clark Kent, only nerdier, and was well respected and such. But...." He paused for a moment, finally taking another can of beer. "His wife, however, had been on an edge after a few decades of marriage. Either he was ignorant of her growing behavior or dismissive of it, but.... it didn't matter, because all of the sudden, the body count started. At first it was a couple of homeless bums, then a few businessmen going out for a drink.... Then a random mixblood was killed.... And all of them had their throats torn out and most of their blood drained.

"It was unheard of, especially for vamps. It probably freaked Henry out over it, as it was his territory. Who knew how he found out-- our dad wasn't with him when it happened, he was in the state of Kansas at the time. But.... our grandmother was discovered.... Practically devouring a housewife in the alley...."

"Good Lord....!" Castiel gasped softly. He noticed Sam's expression changed, the taller vampire seemed to grimace by the story as he clenched the beer can tighter. This crazed violent episodes.... it was something similar to Sam's conditions, he realized. So it was hereditary....

"According to the stories, the few hunters working for Henry found her and attempted to restrain her...." Dean continued, his expression just as grim. "Fell off the reservation completely and slaughtered them all. It was madness. Then Henry and a bunch of other mixbloods had to hold her down. It seemed that not even the one person she had loved had deterred her outta her madness. Ripped out his guts and everything. Even then, Henry was clinging on, hoping that she would snap outta it.

"She did.... for a moment. Then she went hysterical after realizing that she just killed her husband.... _Deadly Women_ ain't got nothing on her, that's for sure," he snorted. The derisive comment wasn't responded by Sam, whose expression stayed taut during the story. That made Castiel worry. He got that their father had abused both of them and even wished death on the younger brother. But to talk disdainfully about a grandmother who couldn't even control her own conditions was something else. "It caught the other purebloods by surprise, and they reacted fast.... It must've caught their initial attentions by the first couple of killings.

".... You think I'm acting snarky over my own blood, Cas. But it's not that.... The others captured her, she calmed down long enough with silver and shit. Hauled her off to somewhere secret, nobody knew where, not even my dad. He didn't have a chance to save his old man or even his own mother from that.... It devastated him, I get that.... But at the same time, he became aware of the fact that the deaths caught attention to the human public. And it was then the purebloods decided to form their own _Animal Farm_ type of government. That only best of the best have the privilege to discipline any vamps who posed a threat of revealing their existence to the humans...."

".... Including your grandmother," realized Castiel, his sapphire eyes wide.

"Exactly.... Dad couldn't get to her, no matter how he tries," grunted Dean, the beer now warm but he didn't care as he took a sip. "Who knew what they said to him, but enough to scare the shit outta him and got outta Illinois after burying his old man. Lay low somewhere else for a while, then decided to enlist with the Marines during the Vietnam War.... Then he went back to Kansas, where he.... met Mom, and you figure out the rest."

Of course, their parents started a family, Castiel understood that part. But by the look on their faces, something else was a part of the story. "We were told that.... the only time he was able to see his mother, was when she died and he had to collect her body," he muttered bitterly. "Hadn't been able to visit her for twenty years. Then those fuckers dumped that news on him barely outta his honeymoon days. Rumors had it that her sudden death was nothing but an execution by them, and we will never know. And then.... a few years and a couple of kids later, another tragedy hit.... A lot of blood, a lot of fire. I was four, Sammy not even a year old."

".... I'm sorry," muttered the priest, knowing that he was mentioning his late mother. So she died in a fire.... Dean just grunted in response while Sam merely nodded in sympathy.

"Yeah, well, you heard what Dean said.... From all of that, that _still_ wasn't the worse of it," the younger brother sighed tiredly, and Castiel nearly flinched in surprise at that. That wasn't it....? They lost their grandmother then their mother, but then what....? The brief silence was broken, when Dean drank more of his beer.

"What Sammy said to you.... He mentioned that he and I ditched our dad and hauled ass to Bobby's after he killed his so-called friend," he mumbled. "We took shelter in his house for the first couple of days, asking him if there was any reason that Sam became that way but with no luck. He managed to find something else, however.... something that was probably the reason why that our dad was so fucking afraid of the others."

".... What, Dean....?" muttered Castiel, his heartbeats beating faster with apprehension but also anticipation. Dean glanced at him and grimaced, and Sam looked away with his expression darkened.

".... You know how in some royal families, they would marry each other like cousins and such....?" the older vampire muttered and Castiel blinked at that. "It was like that a few centuries back with the purebloods but in our case.... it was through our grandmother's lineage, the Knight family. But.... they were more than just kissing cousins, if you get what we mean...."

"I.... wh-what....?" Castiel gasped softly, his jaw dropped at the truth. "The ancestors from your grandmother's family.... committing such sinful nature like that?" he questioned with such disbelief, his eyes widened at the brothers.

"Well.... shit like that makes _Flowers in the Attic_ look like a children's bedtime story," scoffed Dean, chugging down the rest of his beer. "First cousins, second cousins, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews-- even siblings. Nobody was aware of it for the past couple of centuries, not even the purebloods. Not only that, they were behind plenty of human and livestock deaths since catching a boat from Europe, although they would go after those who were least likely be missed...."

"My goodness....!" he gasped. That explained it all.... "So this.... is the curse, isn't it? That it's because she was the result of multiple incestuous acts?"

"More than that, Cas.... Doing the hillbilly dance so many times, they became fucked up genetic-wise," grimaced Dean. "I'm surprised that none of them had developed three eyes and webbed feet but Grandma seemed normal enough to tie the knot with Henry.... But guess that wasn't enough."

"Wh-what do you mean....?"

".... No matter which way, we're still descendants of that incest shit," he frowned, glancing briefly at Sam. "The Winchester family name's fucked up because they had Dad then she went insane and killed his father. Then the other vamps got scared of him because he might become like her, and in turn he went paranoid of them. He was afraid that the other purebloods might come after him and kill him off like the rest of the Knight family."

"You mean--"

"Soon after they locked our grandmother up, the purebloods rounded up her family and wasted them without hesitation," he muttered. "Dad was stigmatized because of it, it was thought that the bloodline is forever tainted. Even though he married Mom and had us, us being alive is nothing but a bane of existence to their eyes. And in some way.... they're right. They're right about us, and more specifically about Sam...."

"What....?!" Castiel glanced at Sam, who had been silent for the last part of the story. But his expression was deeply etched with self-repulsion, not wanting to be the center of attention at the moment. Then the priest remembered that he had committed murders, so it all made sense now.... Sam was afraid of his own rage, of it coming out to commit that type of sin. "Then.... then what makes you, Dean?" he muttered softly and Dean raised an eyebrow at that.

"Who knows? Maybe I dodged the _Hills Have Eyes_ bullet but I could still become like a mindless monster," he scoffed lightly. "I mean, Dad didn't go loony himself until after what had happened with Mom.... But I guess alcohol played a role in that."

"So that means...."

"I thought I've said it to you from day one, Cas.... I have never killed a human in my entire life," he said, although his expression saddened when Sam breathed deeply. "I've never saw the reason to hurt anyone, maybe because it had to do with me trying my hardest taking care of Sammy after his first kill.... Maybe I made myself sane by keeping busy but who knows when I'll finally crack." Dean glanced up, his green-gold eyes subtly glowing as he looked at Castiel. The priest was understandably mortified, and he wondered if he had done the right thing of telling the story. But then again, it seemed like he deserved to know.

".... That's one of the reasons why we fear the other purebloods, Cas," muttered Sam, and Castiel nearly flinched from his sudden voice. "We weren't exactly afraid of them until after I killed Brady. It was why we lay low, out of their sight until we thought it was safe to show our face. Of course, not all vamps knew of us and our disgraced bloodline so it was okay to go around the country and.... tried to get back to normal and stuff...."

"Oh.... During those two years, right....?" Castiel asked softly, trying to understand it. But the moment he mentioned the words, both brothers stiffened with each different reaction on him. Dean was completely puzzled while Sam's shocked face made Castiel regret his words as he gasped. "Oh Lord....! I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean--"

"How did you know? Two years?" questioned Dean, his eyes narrowed.

"I--"

"You mentioned it to him, Sam....?" he gritted as he glared at his little brother.

"He doesn't know....!" Sam explained.

"What did you say to him during that confession--"

"Nothing, Dean! He does not know about the fallout, I swear....!" he insisted, with his widened eyes pleading as he grasped at his shoulder. "I couldn't anyway, because I knew how you would feel about it! I wouldn't hurt you like that!"

"But he knew that you went on a violent binge after those two years, right....?!" he scoffed with disbelief. "No reason of telling him why? Because of my feelings, is that why?"

"Dean...."

"No, I'm not... angry, Sammy...." huffed Dean with a shake of his head. "I'm just pissed off. It feels like you're not saying anything about what you got in your chest. And.... I'm right about that, aren't I?" Sam stared at him with apprehensive eyes then at Castiel, who was just as anxious. He was sorry of mentioning it but the tall vampire couldn't blame him.

".... During that drunken rant, when you were trying to kick out Cas.... You muttered your deepest secret after you passed out," he muttered reluctantly. "I think you know, Dean...."

"What....? What're you talking about....?" frowned Dean.

".... You muttered that you were sorry for leaving me.... You left me after I fucked up, even though I wanted to help you...." Sam frowned with regret. Dean stared at him for a moment, but then he realized it as his eyes widened. There was no way....

"No fucking way....!" he gasped softly, looking at the stunned priest then back at his little brother. ".... Lisa...." The name quivered out of his mouth as his posture slackened heavily. It was as if he was forbidden to mention it like that. He looked away, not wanting to see Sam's concerned gaze as he exhaled heavily. "Awesome.... Awesome, just fucking awesome...."

"Dean--" Sam tried to hold him back but Dean abruptly stood up. "Dean, I'm sorry--"

"You should've mentioned it earlier, Sam," he sighed.

"Because I knew you'd act like this," he reasoned.

"Either way, I'm the reason your darker side got the better of you," he scoffed terribly. "We never would've gotten like this in the first place if I hadn't walked out on you...."

"It wasn't your fault--"

"Yeah, well... I wish it wasn't, Sammy...." he frowned before turning to Castiel who flinched out of reflex. "Thanks for candy, Cas.... Very considerate of you," he nodded, barely a hint of smile though his eyes were full of sadness.

"Dean, wait...." frowned Sam, but his older brother was already going for the stairs. "Please, Dean...." The pleading didn't seem to make any difference as Dean walked up the steps then went into his room with a quiet shut of his door. "Ah.... Shit...!" he huffed, and the priest flinched again.

"I-I'm sorry--"

"It wasn't your fault.... I should've said it to him sooner," he scoffed, mostly at himself as he banged his fist against the table. "It wasn't his fault, I never meant what I said to him after he came back but.... shit....!"

".... I'm still sorry, Sam...." muttered Castiel. Sam glanced at him and frowned with empathy as he then glanced away.

"Right...."

".... You know.... as much as it sounds strange, the fact that you're genetically a descendant of incest, it doesn't sound so terrible to me," he muttered. Sam blinked at that and looked at him with slight perplexity.

".... Really? Even though virtually everyone else is freaked out by it, Cas?" he questioned.

"You're talking to a guy who had read the bible a thousand times over," he nodded. "You'd be surprised about the stories of family members copulating with one another. I mean, the descendants of Adam and Eve had to start somewhere...."

"Yeah, guess the bible's fucked up in a way also.... Sorry," sighed Sam, scratching through his hair.

"It's fine. That's one of the problems for most Christians, they'd stick to their faith but rarely read the Word to make sense of it and misinterpret," Castiel said, but he frowned. That story Dean told him seemed to pale in comparison to whichever secrets they got. Starting with that Lisa person once again.... Who was she to Dean? Did something happen to her, resulting with the older vampire leaving Sam and in turn Sam reverting into a murderous episode....? "Sam...."

"Uh, yeah....?"

".... I don't think I can leave yet," he confessed and Sam blinked at that.

".... What?"

"I mean, I'd be ecstatic to get out of here but.... Do you think it sounds crazy that maybe.... maybe God gave me a different reason of being imprisoned here?" he inquired, noticing the tensed look on Sam's face. "There's more than just that story, there are other secrets that you two have been harboring. And they seemed to be eating at you, I can see it in your face."

"Cas--"

"If you think that it isn't my business, you're right, it isn't," nodded Castiel. "But.... you'll never going to get out of this cycle of yours if you let this.... demon inside of you take over every single time."

"Heh.... easier said than done," sighed Sam with a shake of his head. "You think it's that easy....? Aside from Bobby and a very few friends, no one wants anything to do with me, Cas. Hell, there had been a couple of times that my other side kept telling me to eat you because you're _right_ there...." Castiel blinked at that, yet he wasn't shocked by it. Sure, he felt a bit of fear in his heart from that revelation, but he wasn't deterred as he looked at him.

"All the more reason to stay here and wishing to help you, Sam, both you and Dean," he said with determination. "Clearly, you hadn't had someone like me to go to.... You never thought of that, right....?" Sam stared at him, then at the staircase. If Dean had heard that, he would have rush down and stubbornly resist any help from him. He sighed deeply.... What would Dean think of this, to be honest? It wouldn't be fair if it was only him talking to the priest.

"I wouldn't know where to start, Cas," he mumbled, looking back at him.

".... What about that fallout, Sam? Can you talk about that?" asked Castiel but Sam shook his head. "I can't.... You saw how Dean reacted, he'd be downright livid over it if I say any more about it," he frowned miserably.

"All the more reason, just like I said," insisted the priest. Sam looked at him again, before putting up a small smile.

"Barely a month ago, you were scared out of your wits of us, and now you wanna act like Dr. Phil because of our problems and dramas," he muttered. "You can't be serious, Cas. You're asking for a lifetime's worth of problems."

"And I've heard countless lifetimes' worth of problems, and I'm still a rookie priest," Castiel replied, adding a slight smile as well.

"Then I guess you got to convince Dean on this crazy plan of yours," nodded Sam. "He's not the type to pour his heart and soul out over anything.... It's going to be difficult, just to warn you."

"I guess so.... But at least, I could stick around to wish you a Happy Birthday, Sam," he pointed out. Sam blinked at that and an appreciative smirk quirked at his lips.

"Thanks a lot, Cas," he nodded.

"Didn't think that you're slightly younger than me, you seemed older but that could be the fact that you're a wise man," said Castiel.

"Yeah, rub that in Dean's face...." Sam smiled lightly. The heaviness in the air earlier lifted. But the tall vampire still worried. If Dean shut himself in, there was no way that Castiel could talk to him. And if the priest were to persist, he was afraid that Dean would react in the worse way possible then they would have to start all over again. It really was an endless cycle. No reset button, just on repeat until they could figure out how to get out of the others' grasp. """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review.

I'll update ASAP!


	17. That Was Then, But This Isn't Now

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 17- That Was Then, But This Isn't Now**

"Fuck....!" huffed Dean, stubbing his toe after getting out of bed and finding himself tangled with the bedsheets. "Damn...." Sighing tiredly, he kicked the sheets off as he scratched through his hair. He was out for a while, he fell asleep after listening to music on a brand new albeit stolen MP3.... It was after he found out that he had drunkenly muttered Lisa's name to Castiel. He had woken up near dawn to consume a transfusion bag but went back to sleep. But not before glancing at the sleeping priest for a moment. It didn't feel strange that Castiel knew too much about their family history.

The only thing missing from all of this.... was right on the desk, next to the half eaten licorice. He was so distraught over that incident that he had forgotten about Adam. Castiel had asked about him according to Sam. Maybe the priest was still curious about it, he wondered. But he wasn't sure himself. Castiel seemed more worried about Sam's fallout than the fact that they were born genetically flawed. He found that peculiar, Dean realized but then again compared to Castiel knowing the existence of vampires and being unable to be compelled, that family revelation seemed less surprising to him.

He stepped out of his room, waiting to see if Sam was awake but heard nothing from his room. Instead, he heard soft movements from downstairs, thinking that it was Castiel who might be awake. ".... Now or never, anyway...." he sighed deeply. He washed up and changed his clothes, then went downstairs.

As soon as he did so, he glanced up to see the priest just staring at the canned soup. A deep frown was etched on his face as if trying to understand how to make it. ".... Having a staring contest with your food, Cas?" he joked, and Castiel looked up at him in surprise.

"Oh.... I was wondering how to cook this without burning the content," he muttered.

"It's.... not that hard, just add water and heat it up," Dean pointed out.

"If you think so...." The vampire blinked at him, then looked around. It seemed too quiet despite of the low volume of the television.

".... Where's Sam?" he asked.

"I assumed that he was still asleep, I haven't seen him all day," Castiel shrugged.

"Huh.... If he had went somewhere, he would've texted me-- oh...." Dean frowned when he took out his phone but blinked when he finally noticed the message on the screen. It must have popped up when he was in the shower. ".... He mentioned that he needed to clear his mind, taking a walk around the woods and stuff," he sighed. He knew what that meant. It was one of Sam's coping techniques, to get away from the dark thoughts he would have.

With him nearly tearing his arm off a few days ago, Dean assumed that he truly needed that. And that was pale to comparison to.... The sudden thought of it made him subconsciously rubbed at his own throat. There was no way he could talk to the priest about it.... His thoughts were instantly interrupted when Castiel made a clattering sound, and he glanced over to see that he was taking out a small pot from a bottom cabinet.

"You doing all right, Gordon Ramsey?" he asked.

"Well, I've gotten sick of eating sandwiches but if I could manage to make this concoction correct then I don't mind," nodded Castiel. Dean said nothing, moving to sit down by the table and watched the human reading the vague instruction on the can. His eyes taking in the most minute details of his recovery, starting with the nearly healed scar on his neck. Seeing that he was in full health should make him feel better but Dean didn't like this unsettling feeling in his gut.

"...." He watched Castiel mixing the water with the soup before putting on the rickety stove that hadn't been touched for a long time. But then the priest was simply staring at it, and Dean frowned at the lack of basic skills. ".... You supposed to stir it, you know, Padre," he pointed out.

"Huh....?"

"Seriously, you've never cooked for yourself or something, Cas?" he asked as he got up and walked over to the stove. "Here.... I know a thing or two and I'm a damn vampire of all things," he sighed, finding a spoon in one drawer and stirred the shimmering content.

"S-sorry. I've never exactly cooked," Castiel sighed deeply. "If anything, I'd consider microwaves a blessing...."

"Well, food nuked by radiation are the next best thing," he smirked lightly as he glanced at him. Castiel blinked at that, before the smallest hint of a smile quirked at his lips. Dean caught the gesture and almost instantly he felt a jolt throughout his body. "I, uh-- ahem. See....? This is nothing," he sighed, turning his attention back to the pot. "Used to make those shitty Spaghetti-O's for Sammy when we were little. Had to force-feed him because we couldn't afford to waste food back then. Kinda sucked that we didn't have the urge for blood before puberty hit...."

"Oh.... Thank you, Dean," nodded Castiel, and Dean took a brief glance at him.

"Don't mention it.... See, it's done." He took off the stove, then taking out a bowl from the top cabinet. "You gonna drink up the entire thing, Cas?"

"But.... it looks so much."

"You've been eating enough for three people lately, I'm sure you can take it," he smiled a little. Castiel blinked at that before nodding. That much was true, but he wasn't sure if he was feeling that hungry anymore, as he took the bowl after the vampire filled it up. Going to the table, he sat down and began to eat. Dean sat down as well.

His own hunger can wait, as he let out a deep sigh. He wanted to look at him more, but not wanting the priest to feel suspicious or uncomfortable, as he then tried to figure out how to start a conversation. One concern soon popped up, and he finally glanced over at Castiel. "Um, Cas....?" he cleared his throat, and Castiel glanced up at him with the spoon in his mouth.

"Hm, yes, Dean....?" mumbled the human.

"Um.... You've been having any kooky dreams lately or something?" he asked quietly.

"Oh.... Sam told you about it?" Castiel frowned in surprise.

"I've heard, yeah. So did you have another one lately, Cas?" Dean muttered.

".... No. I only had that one dream but it felt like a memory," Castiel sighed though he seemed to frown in disappointment at that. "A distant memory.... I wish I could make more sense of it."

"Well.... Don't worry about it, Cas. Maybe it will come back to you." But hopefully not too soon, Dean thought afterwards as he nodded. "Seems pretty bland to have tomato soup without some grilled cheese sandwiches. Would.... you like that, Padre?" Castiel blinked at his suggestion and Dean felt instant regret of asking. Days ago, he had hurt him and drank his blood and now he was acting so courteous toward him. It didn't feel right at all.... He wondered how Sam was able to do with it, with him redeeming over every little thing.

".... I'm fine with this, but thank you, Dean," Castiel nodded.

"Okay then...."

"...."

"...." The awkward silence was eating at him, as Dean looked away with a frown. He could feel the priest's curious gaze at him and he didn't like it. ".... Um.... Is there anything you wanna ask, Cas?" he questioned quietly.

".... No, nothing in particular," Castiel shook his head.

"Really? After last night, I was sure you would be tempted to ask more shit," he shrugged and Castiel blinked at that.

"Oh, that.... Well, that is true, in a way. I do have more questions, Dean...." The bowl was nearly empty as he cleared his throat. "But.... I'm not sure if I could ask without Sam around--"

"Why? Because of my feelings you're worrying about, Cas?" Dean smirked lightly. "Sure, I was a little worked up at the end but it's all right. Not gonna say anything about it, like you said."

Castiel was afraid of that. Dean was shutting away the story about this Lisa person, and he could see it under the facade. He didn't want to push it, concerned that the vampire would get offended and lash out, as he took a deep breath. ".... Then what should I ask, Dean?" he sighed.

"Hmm.... You were curious about Adam, considering that you had 20 Questions about our family," muttered Dean, noticing the surprised look on his face.

"H-huh....? Who....?"

"In the picture.... the scrawny kid posing between us," he pointed out. "What did Sammy say about him to you?"

".... That he's related to you, on your father's side," replied Castiel.

"Is that right....?" Dean sighed, a sad frown fixed at his face almost immediately. "He is related to us, _closely_ related.... He's our half-brother, Cas." The crystal blue eyes widened at that revelation and nearly gasped. But the shock deflated within a few seconds with a renewed surprise as he then nodded.

"Makes sense...."

"Really, that's it, you just shrugged it off?" Dean frowned in surprise.

"No, it's not that. I mean, considering your paternal line, there was no mention of extended relatives when you told me your history," he said. "But still, it's still shocking to say the least."

"And what do you think how we felt when we found out....? It happened behind our back, and we didn't know...." With a deep breath, he scratched through his head. "It was outta the blue.... We were sleeping in the Impala, somewhere in middle America. Then Bobby called us up, and he said he had received some shocking news just moments before. That a woman outta nowhere contacted him.... requesting to speak to John. She didn't know he had died nearly two years before that.

"It was strange, we didn't know that our old man had any friends, let alone some lady. But Bobby told us that she was different than just a friend.... She called to say that there was something wrong with her son.... who happened to be a vampire."

"I get that--"

"No, Cas.... The woman was a human.... meaning that the kid's a halfblood," he frowned, and Castiel stared at him in disbelief and confusion. "Tch.... Guess there's no point of hiding everything from you about us vamps.... Halfbloods are the results of purebloods shacking up with humans, very different from the mixbloods who are descendants of purebloods and the humans who were turned into vampires." So that was it.... It made sense now to the priest. So the mixbloods are of lower rank from the purebloods like Sam and Dean, maybe that was why the older vampire disliked Ruby because of her heritage.

"So this secret brother of yours, he's a.... a halfblood, was it?" he nodded.

"Yeah, not as fancy as Wesley Snipe's character in those bloodsucker movies," Dean sighed deeply as he shook his head. "They're far more rare than the purebloods. All the more shocking when Bobby broke the news to us. Even he didn't know about this, but he told me and Sam about this woman named Kate and how she knew about Dad. She was a nurse working in hospital that was doubled as a secret blood bank for vamps. Don't really know what she saw in him when she first met him-- Man was drunk twenty-three hours outta the day.

"But something happened. One-night stand and nine months later, Adam popped out. She kept the birth of his kid to herself, assuming that she'll never see him again. But.... she didn't know that Dad was a vampire, she was oblivious about the true nature of her workplace. Which explained why Adam was just a normal kid until he reached puberty.... It happened just a few months after Sam went away for college, from what we were told; somehow she contacted Dad about Adam and just like that he accepted it....

"It explained why he sobered up during the next several months.... and did things like a normal Dad would...." Dean's breathing changed suddenly as he clenched his jaw and looked away. And Castiel understood that. Spending most of his childhood being neglected and abused, it seemed plausible for Dean to feel resentful about the news. "I.... I didn't wanna believe it, that we had a secret brother. But Sammy.... he was just as shocked, but at the same time he was eager and concerned about the news, and insisted that we go to Wisconsin to meet them. Trust me, I wanted to hate them-- hate Adam specifically, for getting to do the things I was denied having.

"I didn't wanna get close with him either. I might've been petty or a dick about it, but I kept my distance while Sam was ecstatic of knowing the kid better. Fuck.... we even argued about this being dropped into our lives. I asked Sam why wasn't he angry about this, that Dad was practically Danny Tanner to him while he had treated us like shit. Then his answer hit me.... that Adam was now a part of the family curse despite being part human, that him being found out by the purebloods was what Dad was afraid of.

"It's not every day that a halfblood is walking about in this country-- Adam's probably the only one here. Sammy was right.... but it still didn't change the fact that I would just readily accept having Adam as my blood. So I told him that he wasn't a Winchester, he had his mother's name so that was enough to lay low from the others. And.... fuck, I sounded like a cruel asshole toward him. It wasn't his fault that he was born into this, I realized that but it's too late. It's better that he doesn't contact us and we don't contact him.... Not that it matters...."

".... What do you mean by that, Dean....?" muttered Castiel with a worried frown and Dean looked at him wearily.

"The purebloods knew about him anyway...." he mumbled. "It didn't take long to find out that Adam was fathered by a pureblood. And none of them would stoop that low to make a mistake like that with a simple human. They had surveillance on him and his mother for years, probably before we had met them. Which was why the other purebloods had forced this deal on me. More than just Sammy being locked away or even killed.... I would end up being responsible for two more deaths if I didn't comply...."

"Oh Lord...." Castiel gasped softly, seeing the slumped defeated posture on the vampire. "It can't be your fault, you tried your best to distance yourself from your brother--"

"I wished I could take it back, though.... I acted so mean to the kid when he was virtually alone," he scoffed to himself. "Imagine his mom's reaction when he suddenly grew out fangs and developed a thirst for blood. She could have abandoned him or worse. And he had to hide his nature from the humans that it isolated him from making friends.... He seemed so happy of having brothers that were like him. But I was such a total dick."

"Come on, Dean, it's understandable to react like that--"

"Tch, no reason to defend me, Cas," he sighed, as he stood up and went to the stove. The rest of the soup was cold as he put the fire back on. "Adam was disappointed at my behavior, and so was Sammy. Like I said, it was too late to make it up. Sam seemed to have lost respect for me afterwards for a while.... spending more time with Ruby than with me.... I wanted to be mad at him for that but I promised myself not to...." Dean inhaled at that.

The promise.... He broke it without realizing it. Thinking about it made his already healed arm ache from Sam's angered bite. It would have been better if he had held in his feelings but then again he did and it came out in the worst way possible. ".... Well, maybe one day, I'll figure out a way to talk to him. He's been studying to become a doctor, not sure which kind," he muttered with a slight smirk. Another facade. Hiding away the pain inside him. "He'll get the life that he deserves to have.... I hope so...."

".... You don't have to lie to yourself, Dean," frowned Castiel.

"I ain't lying about that, Cas," Dean shook his head though his voice faltered a little. Even as a vampire, he wasn't aware that Castiel had gotten up and walked up to him.

"Dean...." he persisted very calmly. Dean stiffened by the closeness and glanced at him with slight confusion. "Why won't you let me understand? You're telling me all of this yet you're hiding more.... I honestly don't get it."

"Yeah, well.... that's why they call it a secret, Cas," he muttered. But the priest just frowned, not wanting to back down from this discussion. ".... Don't worry so much about it, Cas. It's gonna be over soon anyway, then we'll ship you off to Mormon Town, USA--"

"No...."

The soup was close to bubbling, as Dean frowned at him in disbelief. "N-no....?" he scoffed, taking off the fire. "What do you mean, no? Cas, the longer you stay here the more difficult it'll be--"

"I understand that, before all of that I _wanted_ to be out of here," said Castiel. "But then I saw the broken fragments between you and Sam, and when your brother told me of your confession.... It seems that me leaving here won't exactly solve your internal problems."

"No, but it would lessen the burden, Cas," he frowned at him. "What can you do about it? We piqued your curiosity and told you about our family curse, but that's it. You can't act like Dr. Phil and solve our problems just like that."

"Sam didn't seem to mind the challenge," Castiel pointed out and Dean blinked at that.

"Sam knew about it? Why didn't he tell me?"

"Maybe because of your reaction of me knowing about your still shadowed past, he probably wished to give you some space," he sighed.

"Still.... You could never understand it, Cas," he huffed. "You're just a plain old simple human. Asking to know about some fucked up drama from a vamp-- who kidnapped you for your delicious blood in the first place-- Does that sound right at all....?"

"You're right, it doesn't--"

"No, you don't get it, Cas...." he frowned, regret now etched deeply in his expression. "I've hurt you... I fucking hurt you, because my sanity was battered and stretched thin by this pressure on us and maybe deep down I wanted to take it out in some way."

"And I know you didn't mean it, Dean--" Castiel reasoned.

"I did a half-assed apology, and that's all you gotta say?" frowned Dean, before letting out a scoff. "You can't be serious, Cas.... You just accepted my apology, after what I've done to you....?" At that, Castiel shuddered and glanced away. Flashes of being sodomized by him, of living in constant fear under his eyes after those teeth tore through his thigh.

".... I accepted your apology, and by doing so, I have forgiven you, Dean," he honestly replied. Dean stared at him for a moment, as if he had said the wrong answer, before exhaling deeply.

"Is it worth forgiveness, I wonder....?" he muttered under his breath as he walked past him for the fridge.

"Huh? Dean, wait a moment--"

"So that's it, you've forgiven me just like that, Cas?" he frowned bitterly, taking out a transfusion bag. "C'mon.... I did a terrible thing. It was my fault, after all."

"But that was why I've forgiven you, Dean," Castiel frowned in confusion. "I want to look past it, now that you wish to help me. But.... it's only fair that I wish to help you as well."

"Why? Why, Cas, would you think I would even need your help?" he scoffed, turning to him.

".... Because...." muttered Castiel.

".... Because what....?"

".... It's my job, Dean, it's by the fate of God that I'm here anyway," he answered, a hint of determination in his voice. Dean seemed to stiffen at the mention of his religion, before glaring away as he scoffed.

".... That's the stupidest shit I ever heard," he frowned. "This faith of yours.... it cannot help us in any way, I can't see how." Castiel noticed the solemn look in his face but again he didn't want to back down, as the vampire moved for the couch.

"It's because you never had someone like me to go to--"

"A priest? Tch, you're not exactly the first, I'll tell you that much," muttered Dean, and the human blinked at that. "A little different than the average preacher, though. He was aware of the existence of the vampires, even hunted a few in his lifetime before croaking out on a stroke several years ago. And he could care less about me not believing in God...."

"But.... but I care, I want to care," Castiel pointed out. "Please, if you let me, Dean...."

".... Finish up the rest of your dinner, Cas, okay? I ain't gonna tell you my shitty life story just because you say so," he muttered, slumped in the furniture. Castiel frowned in subtle disappointment. So much of the plan, Sam had warned him that he might resist. But it didn't mean that he wanted to drop it just like that, as he poured the rest of the soup into the bowl.

Just as the silence began to settle, the sounds of the bolts clanked before the door opened. It caught the priest's attention and saw Sam stepping in. The tall vampire sighed deeply, a small but noticeable trickle of blood was at the corner of his mouth before he wiped it off. "Dean....? Oh, Cas, hey...." Sam nodded after noticing Castiel who blinked at him.

"So you really were out," he said.

"Yeah.... Should've left a note when I got up early this morning and couldn't sleep," he sighed before turning to the couch.

".... You went out on a nature walk with Smokey the Bear, Sammy?" muttered Dean.

"Yeah, Dean," he replied. "Went far, about over a dozen miles.... A cougar spotted me drinking a few of its prey though."

"Didn't know Demi Moore was prowling in the woods."

"Tch, whatever...." Shrugging off his jacket, Sam walked up to the couch and sat down next to him. Dean, sipping on the bag, acknowledged his presence with the briefest glance and frowned. "Dean, what's wrong....? I can tell that you're tensed up over something," frowned Sam. "Is it about last night?" he muttered quietly in worrisome, not wanting the priest to hear.

"If I lied and said no, would that be better....?" he sighed. Sam frowned at that and glanced over at Castiel, who was simply stirring his food but not eating it.

"What's going on....? Can you tell me....?" he whispered.

".... He now thinks that it's his holy responsibility, to help us with whatever shit that's eating us...." muttered Dean. "I don't want him to know so much.... It'll be easier to shoo him off to Utah."

"Sure, if you can convince him to leave," frowned Sam. "But Dean, it shouldn't be that bad--"

"Dude, even the best shrinks wouldn't be able to handle our sad little tales, what difference would it make with him?"

"He was shocked about our heritage, yeah, but he understood it and took it in stride," Sam nodded. "Maybe.... he should hear about it. I mean, compared to our family history--"

"Because of our family history, everything went to shit....!" Dean scoffed softly. "And because of me--"

"Dean...." The older brother looked at him and noticed the scolding frown on his face. "The times you spend blaming yourself, use it to help Cas. And the only way you can help.... is maybe you telling him about it. About Lisa."

".... Then why not you do it? I'm sure I wasn't the only one there when shit went down," he scoffed. But he instantly regretted it, when his little brother looked away and exhaled heavily. ".... Sorry, I.... I don't think I will ever talk about it, Sammy...." he muttered tiredly.

"But bottling up won't help either, Dean, you know that," he reasoned.

"Yeah, well.... we're gonna end up miserable, like you said," Dean muttered, finally drinking the blood. "We barely had good shit happening to us, very few people we've considered friends understand that.... Cas trying to help us, it wouldn't do any good...."

"But.... Come on, Dean...."

".... Then I'll keep on trying," Castiel spoke up, catching the brothers off guard. "By staying quiet, I pretty much overheard most of it...." he said as he stood up. "Why do you believe that I won't understand, let alone help you....? Is it because I'm just an outsider, or because I'm a priest like you said, Dean?"

"Damn it, Cas...." huffed Dean as he looked at him. "Can't you just let it go? It's not even your problem."

"Dean, calm down.... I've been thinking about this as well--" frowned Sam.

"Sam, no. I'm not comfortable with the thought of it," he scoffed lightly. "For one thing, he cannot be compelled to forget it all. I don't see the reason to tell it to him. Plus, we're letting him go soon. He can't stay here any longer, Sam, you know that."

"Yeah I do." Sam let out a deep sigh and stood up, scratching through his hair. "But.... is it that bad that Cas wants to understand and help us? I mean, to be honest, telling him about Jess and my condition actually made me feel a little better. A bit more now than during the past several years...."

"Are you serious, Sammy....?" frowned Dean. "You're willing to trust him over it? He's been here for nearly a month--"

"And during that month, our relationship nearly crumbled, and it was already on the edge since we were forced into being here," he pointed out and Dean blinked at that. "Nobody can help us with this, not even Bobby. But.... I really do trust him, Dean. It's hard to explain, but it wouldn't solve the problems we got if we send him off knowing about us."

"He'll still know whether or not we tell him," he frowned, standing up as well before looking at the priest. "Don't care if you wanna stay, I'll make you leave the moment we got our shit together, Cas," he said, jaw set with stubbornness.

".... If you believe so, Dean," Castiel sighed, but he shook his head. "I'll still keep on trying, I can't look away when you're suffering like this."

"Then let me suffer, since it's my fucking problem," scoffed Dean.

"Dean--"

"You can't let me do this, the both of you," Dean argued with a deep scowl as he stepped back. "If I could hide away in my room to get away from this, I would, but knowing you...." he added, glaring at his brother. "You'd get bitchy about it, we'd end up arguing, and then we're back to square one. So for once, just leave it be...."

".... If you think so," Sam sighed deeply, his jaw muscles tightened. "But you're just pointing out that holding in your shit is a better alternative. Which in fact, isn't, considering what had happened over a week ago."

"This is different. I'd rather die with this secret...." he muttered. He glanced over at Castiel, who slightly flinched by his stare, before letting out a deep huff. "Just leave it be.... If you rather have me broken down into a sniveling mess, then you're not a good enough person-- let alone a priest-- to respect my secret, Cas."

"Dean, it's not like that," Sam tried to reason again. But Dean just moved for the stairs and walked up, ignoring the stares on him. "Tch.... Great...." he scoffed softly.

".... I'm--"

"Please, don't say you're sorry, Cas," he shook his head.

"But he's right, you know," Castiel muttered and the tall vampire glanced at him. "I was a bit persistent on my part. There was no reason to push him, I've realized that."

"But still...." Sam couldn't find the words for it. To hide that much in for so long, that couldn't be good. He had a feeling that deep down Dean had truly blamed himself.... even though he himself was at fault. But that was because of what had happened afterwards.... "Let him sleep on it for a while, Cas. If he comes around to it, let him on his own pace."

"Makes sense...." Castiel nodded in agreement. The soup on the table long forgotten, as it had gotten cold once again.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_"...." Each stomp made the shovel go deeper into the damp soil before Dean quickly hauled it out. The hole was getting deeper.... That was good.... Just a couple more feet until he could throw the bodies in. Three bodies of the latest victims. They wouldn't be missed that much, that was what he hoped for.... He kept shoveling out the dirt, in the middle of the woods miles away from human population._

_Next to the bodies wrapped with bedsheets was Sam, sitting in a slump against a tree. Dried blood drenched his face and clothes, he hadn't cleaned himself up since the attack. He couldn't, since calling up Dean earlier. He was in a daze, staring blankly at his lap as his brother huffed with each step. Neither had said a word to each other all this time. But Dean knew.... him deserting Sam was the cause of all of this. Panting lightly, he glanced up with glowing eyes._

_It was deep enough for his height, as he used the spade as a leverage to get out of the hole. He then pulled the shovel out before turning to the bodies. He glanced briefly at Sam. But Sam didn't notice him tossing the first body in, before Dean picked up a bottle of lighter fluid and squirted in the hole. He grabbed for the second body-- a bloody torn leg slipped out of the rolled up bundle and he grimaced._

_"Shit...." he hissed, kicking the limb in then the body._

_"...." Sam made a slight whining noise, enough to catch Dean's attention when he was pouring more fluid._

_"S-Sammy....?" he muttered, hoping to get him out of his wall. But his little brother resumed being mute. Dean could only frown as he went back to his task. Destroying the bodies, he hadn't done this since.... Stanford.... After dumping the last body, he then tossed in dry branches. Holding one twig, he lit it up before dropping it. The crackling started off slow. Dean stepped back before turning to Sam. Walking up to the tree, he heavily sat down next to him, but Sam didn't notice him._

_Not even when the older brother wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. ".... It's okay, Sammy...." he murmured tiredly, but Sam didn't respond. "See? Your big bro took care of it.... You won't get in trouble for it, okay?"_

_"...." The wall in his mind was solid, as Sam stared unblinkingly past the kindling fire in the makeshift grave. Dean noticed that and a dry lump throbbed in his throat, but his eyes stung with warm tears. It was his fault.... He had let him down all because of his selfishness...._

_".... Want me to sing a bit for you, Sammy....?" he muttered, his voice quivered. "That one Beatles song.... Mom used to sing it to me when I was a kid, I think I remembered the lyrics...."_

_"...."_

_"It'll be okay, all right....?" he mumbled, just as one tear managed to leak out of his left eye. "Nobody will know that it was you who did this.... I'll take care of you, I'll keep my eye on you from now on, okay, Sammy....?" He rubbed Sam's shoulder in comfort and leaned his head against his brother's, the fire in front of them grew after a few moments of silence. ".... Nuh-nah, na-na-nahh nahh.... Na-na-nahh nahh.... Hey, Jude.... I think that's how it goes, it's been so fucking long since I last heard the damn song...."_

_Through his muttering, Sam finally responded as he blinked and looked up at Dean. His eyes flickered with a subtle glow and he inhaled, just before his sharp teeth extended. ".... Dean...."_

_"H-huh...? Sam--" Dean gasped out when the fangs suddenly sank into his neck. But he didn't move away from the sharp pain. Instead, he breathed deeply and steadied himself. If this was the only way to snap Sam out of it, then he didn't mind, as he reached up to pet through the silky hair. "It's okay.... It's okay, Sammy...." muttered Dean. "You'll get better, I'll promise you that."_

_Every single drop of his blood.... He would give it all if he had to, to make up this mistake. But he wasn't sure if Sam will ever recover from this.... If they could get back from this, then that was all he could hope for. At least he could, now that no god could care about them._

Blinking tiredly, Sam stared at his phone after it buzzed a message. When the last time he had spoken to Ruby....? Barely 48 hours after Dean kidnapped Castiel, who walked in on him having sex with her. After that blowout, there was one contact but then he had much forgotten about his personal needs. "Ugh, fuck...." he grumbled. Should he respond to it....? He already dismissed her once but he wasn't sure now. The faint sense of paranoia was itching at him.

He admitted that Ruby working for the one person who had tortured his brother often made him apprehensive, but he couldn't show that to a vampire who was the bottom of the social class. A mixblood born of two turned humans were unheard of, as turned humans themselves were the weakest class of vampires yet the most desired as they were easy to be manipulated by their pureblooded masters. It would mean that Ruby's parents were controlled by one, but she rarely brought up her past.

They went through this relationship twice, and Sam didn't like this secretive personality of hers. Dean was right, for once, about her acting so tight-lipped and shady. Glancing at his phone again, Sam huffed deeply. Ruby wanted to know if he had time to meet up with her soon. Maybe he shouldn't stall again, now that the air was calm.

At least he wanted to believe that. Two nights later, and Dean was still acting sullen over his own secrets. But with all things considered, Castiel didn't press about it, although he had been discussing with the tall vampire over small topics but was just it. Taking a deep breath, he speed-dialed her number and barely waited a ring before it was answered.

"Yeah....?"

"Ruby, you texted me?" Sam muttered quietly.

"Who else? So.... I hadn't heard much of you lately, Sam, what's going on?" Ruby asked.

"Nothing much, just.... Dean has been busy, and I was making sure that he doesn't worn himself out about it," he sighed.

"Oh...." Sam frowned at her dismissive tone, starting to wonder what his brother saw in her after all these years. He wondered if he was right, despite of his exaggerated opinions of her. "Is that done with, Sam....? I pretty much missed you, I'm getting tired of meeting halfway with you every few weeks."

Sam felt his lower regions instantly stirring by her sweet pleading voice and he cleared his throat. "Y-you know that I'm no good with talking dirty over the phone...." he mumbled.

"Hmm.... you should've tried practicing, then...."

"Huh? With who? I've been with you all this time, Ruby...." frowned Sam.

"You think I'd care if you dare to stray, Sammy?" teased Ruby and the other vampire blinked at that. "Considering your libido with me, I'm surprised you hadn't been tempted with other girls--"

"You should know that I'm not a type of guy who'd stoop so low by doing that, Ruby," he argued. "Is that what you take me for?"

"Geez, sorry.... I'm just assuming because, well, who wouldn't turn down a pureblooded guy if he wants to bang?"

"You're comparing me to my brother...." he huffed, his large hand rubbing over his distressed face. "I want to be with you, simple as that. If it's that hard to believe because of your social status then I'm sorry for that."

"Ohh.... Sorry," Ruby responded, her voice dismissive again. "Just saying. I mean, Lilith's ex would fuck any girl thrown at him--"

"Ruby...." Sam scoffed sternly. "I was just calling to see when and where should we meet. But now.... I don't know anymore...."

"All right, all right....! I really am sorry, Sam," she said in exasperation. "I really do miss you, that's all.... even though this is little compared to the year after we broke up. I'm sorry about that, also.... Can you believe me on that?"

".... Yeah, but we got to get over that, Ruby. I just don't like any more unsettlement between us," sighed Sam. "Just.... You know what, it's easier if we talk face-to-face. Where do you want to meet?"

"I'm already traveling. How's Nebraska sound to you?"

"Uh--"

"Sam, the entire state of Montana is not a prison. You can come and go as you please, as long as you stay outta trouble," she pointed out. "Are you gonna be here for like, two or three days, starting tomorrow night?" Sam could only sigh. He was on the west side of the state, and he could only run so far until he gets tired. Meaning he would need a car....

".... All right, since you're already halfway," he relented.

"Great. Think of it as your birthday surprise-- it's coming up, right?"

".... Yeah, in a couple of days...."

"See? I wouldn't forget, Sammy. See you there." Ruby hung up, leaving Sam to sigh heavily. He doesn't know how she does that to him, but he doubted that it had to with a promise of sex. It was like before, getting the thrill of being with her without being hovered by Dean but.... He couldn't tempt himself for human blood as he had while being in that rocky relationship those years back.

Castiel mentioned to him about the tale of their half-brother, of the way Dean had initially treated him, resorting to the arguments they had over it. Sam remembered it, back then he didn't want to deal with Dean's stubbornness and preferred Ruby's company. That was when Dean's dependency for alcohol started to increase. Drowning down his feelings, Dean was becoming like that and the tall vampire caught on. He made it up with him, admitting that he was truly angry at his father for treating Adam better but saying that blaming an innocent kid for it made them no different than their maternal relatives.

Maybe Dean had told it to Cas as their only blood since Adam was a part of the curse. But this other secret.... It was making him anxious, only because neither him or Dean had brought it up since that confrontation. But if he could speak to him now, if he could get the car for a while--

"Hey...." muttered Dean, standing in the opened doorway, catching his attention.

"Oh.... Hey," he nodded with surprise written all over his face. It was obvious that Dean had heard his conversation with Ruby, as the older brother's expression was taut and annoyed.

"You gonna meet her?"

".... Haven't seen her in a while, Dean," he answered as if it was the obvious. "I'm not allowed to or something?"

"Nah, it's just that it seems pointless to put a lot of mileage for a booty call, Sam."

"Yeah, well, it's her version of a birthday present for me, that's all," he pointed out. What Sam had told Castiel about celebrating birthday was true. Dean's birthday passed in late January and all they had done that day was the older brother drinking at the bar and making out with a random girl while Sam stayed in to do more research. Dean noticed what he had said and merely nodded, his arms tightly crossed over his chest.

"It's coming up," he said.

"This week, a couple of days from now," he clarified.

"Okay.... What age are you again?"

"I'm about to be thirty, Dean." muttered Sam, glancing up at him. Dean blinked at that. Nearly seven and a half years.... A happy birthday barely existed in their lives anymore. "So.... can I borrow the Impala or not? I mean, I might have to dash to another state in order to hot-wire one."

"Hmm.... I'd rather you not doing the horizontal tango in my baby," huffed Dean.

"I could barely sit in the back seat properly, let alone destroying your love for the car with my gross stuff."

"Still, I don't like the idea of you hauling Baby two states over, Sam," he frowned. "I'll send you to the state line if you want, but that's it." Sam's expression slightly hardened at his tone, but he let it go as he sighed and stood up.

"You know.... Me being with Ruby in the first place was the result of the one shit _you_ decided to shut the lid on," he sighed deeply.

"Yeah.... I'm not gonna talk about it, Sam," he stood his ground.

"Okay, I get it. But you know that you're going to be stuck here with Cas, and you'll need to talk to him." Dean resisted to urge to roll his eyes like a petty teenager, but stepped out and went downstairs. Not surprisingly, Castiel was on the couch reading, though it was different from the usual bible in his hands. He went straight to the fridge and took out a bottle of beer.

When he glanced over at the couch, the priest didn't look up to acknowledge him, at least not at first. He was getting much too comfortable, even for a kidnapped hostage. ".... Have you eaten yet, Cas?" he broke the silence, and Castiel seemed a bit startled from his reading.

"Huh? Oh, hello Dean," he muttered when he finally noticed him.

"Hm, whatever book you're reading, is it that good?" he asked.

"It's.... rather entertaining," shrugged Castiel. "I've never cared much for science fiction, though."

"Okay.... Well, Sammy's gonna be gone for two days, so I guess I'm stuck with you," sighed Dean. "Is that all right with you, Cas?"

"Oh.... All right then," he muttered quietly. His tone muted, as if wary of being alone with Dean, who frowned in surprise. Then again the last time he was left with him it was admittedly horrendous.

"So you're not gonna ask where he's going or something?" he asked.

"I don't believe it is my business to know," Castiel pointed out, and Dean frowned again. Maybe this was the reaction after the older vampire was adamant about his own secret. The following silence soon turned awkward before they heard Sam's movements.

".... Okay, I'm leaving now, Dean," he said, walking down the stairs with a small duffle bag slung over his shoulder. "Are you sure you're going to be okay here, Dean?"

"It's not like I'd burn the damn cabin down by accident, bitch," huffed Dean. But Sam gave him a knowing look before turning to Castiel.

"Cas, I'll be gone for a few days," muttered the tall vampire, and Castiel glanced up and nodded in response. "All right then.... Happy Birthday, Sam," he said, with a slight smile. That instantly caught Dean's attention, and that actually made him frown. Because it was a true smile.... and it wasn't aimed at him this time. Sam trusted the priest-- emphasis on the word _trust_ , so of course Castiel would feel more comfortable around him. A lot more than him....

Sam smiled back, small but honest. "Thanks a lot, Cas...." he nodded, going for the door and opening it.

"Wait a minute, Sammy... Can I speak to you outside?" muttered Dean. Sam blinked at that and looked at him walking past him.

"Uh, sure....?" he frowned. He stepped out after his older brother, who began rolling up his sleeve. "Dean, what're you doing?"

"You're gonna be gone, right....?" he sighed, holding up his wrist. They were away from Castiel's eyes, so he knew what he was doing, and so was Sam as he blinked in surprise. It had been a week already.... since that heated incident....

"Oh.... okay," Sam sighed as he stepped up to him, but he paused when he saw Dean tensing uncomfortably by his looming presence. It had happened before, plenty of times.... Dean would never admit it out loud, but the subtly frightened body language was just the same, especially after Sam would go through his violent episodes. Still, he was willing to sacrifice his body for him, as the older brother braced himself from Sam's eventual grip on his arm. The sharp teeth came out and nipped through the skin.

He was being careful, not wanting to alarm him, taking small sips at a time. ".... You know that you can drink more than this, Sammy," mumbled Dean. Sam didn't look at him in the eye but after another few gulps, he let go and stepped back. ".... Sam...."

"I'll be fine.... I don't have to go if you don't want me to," he muttered hesitantly but Dean shook his head.

"It's okay, just go meet.... her or something," he scoffed softly. Better than being reminded about the past, about her of all things.... Sam glanced at him for a moment, before turning to leave. Dean watched him leave in a blur. The small wound on his forearm healed in time before he went back inside, noticing that Castiel had already made himself a sandwich. The last time they were alone, it didn't end well.

The best thing he could do was to steer clear of the priest for now, as he went to the fridge for another beer. ".... Um, you already have a bottle opened, Dean," Castiel spoke. Dean paused of twisting off the cap and blinked at him. Right, he did open one and only took a couple of sips before putting it down on the table.

"Oh yeah.... Well, gonna drink this anyway," sighed Dean with a shrug. "You good, Cas?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, are you feeling okay? About the.... wound on your leg, is it healing up good or something?" nodded Dean, internally frowning at himself for striking up a conversation that he didn't want to do in the first place.

"Oh, right...." Castiel seemed to realize it as well, touching the denim-covered thigh. "It's fine, Dean. It had stopped bleeding about two days ago but I put on the bandages just in case."

"Great. That's, um, great...." he nodded, picking up the opened bottle. "Um, you know.... I may not look like it, but I could make a mean steak or burger. You could have that instead of cold sandwiches and cold cereal and whatnot."

".... I'm fine, thank you," shrugged Castiel. The sapphire-blue eyes seemed to glimmer at the interesting thought of a vampire cooking, however, and Dean noticed that. As a matter of fact, when was the last time he had truly enjoyed a good meal, other than being exclusively on blood and alcohol?

He wanted to give Castiel space, to hide away in his room and drink, but for some reason he felt like talking to him now that Sam was gone-- not having to mention the one secret. With a deep sigh, he put both bottles down and went back to the fridge. He knew how to make a sandwich-- bread, cheese, turkey, mayo, lettuce, whatever. But as soon as he started it, he could feel the curious though perplexed stare on him. Made sense since Castiel had never seen him physically eat.

"All right then...." sighed Dean. The sandwich he had made was bit sloppy but looked appetizing. He picked the plate of food and sat across from the priest who appeared genuinely surprised. ".... What? I can eat actual food, Cas," he pointed out to him. "Eat, breathe, shit, the whole nine like a human."

"O-oh, right, I knew that, Dean," muttered Castiel, his own eating habit reverted back to the usual hesitant bites as he started to eat. Dean waited for a moment or two, then he picked up his sandwich and took a bite. The slices of turkey tasted dry and rubbery, the cheese almost like plastic. Spending too long on blood seemed to make everything else nasty, and he instantly felt like gagging it out. But after a few chews he forced it down his throat then took a deep chug on his beer.

"Aw, damn...." he huffed.

".... You don't have to eat it, Dean," Castiel muttered and Dean glanced up in surprise. "You made a face, it looks like you didn't like the sandwich."

"No, no. Just that my taste buds had been dulled by the booze for so long," he shook his head, before taking another big bite. He could taste the tangy greasiness of the mayonnaise, wondering if the sandwich was supposed to taste like this. He seemed to be making a face now that Castiel pointed it out, with his eyebrows knitted tightly together and his jaw set with a grimace.

.... Why was he trying? Was it because of what he had said a couple nights back, that he didn't want the human to know that one part of his past he would rather have it stuffed down in his guts? Maybe subconsciously, he felt guilty of avoiding Castiel since then, telling Castiel that he wasn't a good person for respecting that. But the priest was practically the embodiment of good.... while he himself was nothing short of a jerk, a constant troublemaker. He swallowed down the half chewed food and sighed, the aftertaste felt chalky on his tongue.

He could tell that Castiel was staring at him again, seemingly curious of his every move. It was if.... he was trying to act human around him. Maybe that was it, to prove that he wasn't the monster that he acted a few weeks back.

".... Is there a reason why you're dining with me, Dean?" asked Castiel. "You seemed to be forcing yourself to be around me and eat the food that's clearly making you ill by the taste of it. Is it because of my persistence from that night--"

"I'm fine, Cas, just peachy," Dean cut him off, subtly glowing eyes staring at him. "It's over, I'm over it. Just wanna move on, that's all..."

"Oh...." That didn't seem to convince Castiel, with his eyes squinting, and Dean frowned. He had a feeling that he wouldn't let it go. But he didn't want the priest to keep on being stubborn about a problem that wasn't his own.

".... Just.... don't, Cas," sighed Dean, shaking his head. "Any day now, you'll leave Montana and not look back. Sure, you'll know about the existence of vampires, but at least you won't have to worry about the other fanged monkeys coming after your ass as long as you keep your mouth shut."

"You say that, Dean. But I'm not exactly sure if you really mean it," Castiel muttered.

"Tch, what do you know then?" he sighed tiredly. "You already know more than enough, that our bloodline being shitty is more than enough to turn people's stomachs--"

"And as you can see, I'm not disgusted by it," he pointed out. "It's a tragedy, yes, but you and Sam are not at fault on it."

"You and every people we've known have said it, Cas," he frowned. "Same song, different verse, what difference would it make coming outta you?" Because he was a priest, he immediately knew. Because Castiel kept thinking he could do something about it. ".... It needs some mustard, that's why it tastes shitty to me," he muttered quietly, changing the subject before Castiel could reply.

"I see...." he sighed. "I get it now...."

"Hm?"

"You said that you would rather suffer with this secret of yours," said Castiel, looking at him. "But.... does that mean that you were the one who had caused said secret, Dean--"

" _Cas_ , just.... fucking shut up about it....!" he hissed out suddenly, and within a second he had regretted it as he sensed the immediate fear from the priest. "Damn it, Cas, I.... Fuck...." Dean abruptly got up and turned for the stairs. For a moment there, he was thinking about baring his fangs, to scare him into cease talking about it again.

But he didn't want to revert to that like before, not when Castiel was finally feeling normal. Even smiling a few times.... With a heavy sigh, Dean stepped into his pitch-black room, shutting the door behind him. He should have done this in the first place, instead of looking like a fool in front of that human.

"Fucking damn it...." he scoffed softly.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

About four hours later, Dean stepped out of his bedroom, the cabin in complete darkness now that it was close to one in the morning. He barely drank that one bottle of beer before hiding away once again. He needed to feed, and now was a good time to do so now that Castiel was asleep. But he waited for a moment to listen that the human was breathing evenly in the living room. Almost soundlessly, he walked downstairs and moved for the fridge.

Judging by the dwindling amount of transfusion bag, it wouldn't be long until he would have to make another run. Dean shouldn't worry about it now, because after getting one along with a new bottle, he looked around the kitchen and realized that the table was clean. Castiel must have thrown away the nasty sandwich along with the flat beer.

But why though? It shouldn't be his place to clean up after his mess.... unless he had only done it after pissing him off earlier tonight. "...." Exhaling deeply through his nose, Dean quietly stalked into the living room. His glowing eyes gazed at Castiel on the air mattress and he blinked in slight interest. The priest was totally vulnerable sleeping on his back, nearly sprawled out with the the sheet tangled around the ankles.

He stared, noticing that the front of his T-shirt was bunched up, exposing much of the flat stomach. He was a bit surprised that he didn't look fatter from the recent amount of food he ate but the thought went away as the green-gold eyes traveled up to Castiel's bare throat. He could see the vein subtly appearing under the skin and instantly his teeth were aching to pop out. The instinct was kicking back....

The last time he had drunk his blood was to temper down the fever. But he wondered now.... if his blood was good enough now. If it had that brandy-flavored taste to it like before.... He glanced at the priest's face, seeing that was peaceful, as if it was safe to let his guard down in front of him. But it was turned away from him, showing more of his throat.

Dean stepped closer, just close enough, then crouched down. The unique scent was back. He inhaled on it and he shuddered, urging to growl with pleasure. He held it back, his jaw clenched.

He wanted it so bad right now.... as he slowly reached out for his neck.

"Hm..." Castiel flinched in his sleep, before blinking his eyes open. That was strange.... He had thought for sure that something had touched him, like a spirit had just poked him in the back of the neck. "Hmm...." he sighed tiredly, shifting to his side as he scratched through his hair. The entire living room was dark and empty, it was completely quiet saved for his breathing. Maybe it was nothing.... He doubted that it was dream, as he hadn't had one since that vague memory.

As he closed his eyes and soon went to sleep, Dean meanwhile let out a shaky exhale as he plopped himself onto the messy bed. "Holy fuck...." he breathed, his fanged teeth clenching tightly. He wanted it, wanted it more than the blood bag in his hand and he hated it. Maybe he needed fresher blood than this stored one.... but he couldn't do that. Not to Castiel again.

"Fuck...." he panted lightly. He was getting aroused, feeling the front of his jeans getting tight. He palmed over it, nearly hissing at the covered contact. This was screwed up.... He had attempted sex the last time but the guy had a vague resemblance of the priest, not to mention that he kept thinking about him even though he didn't want to. Sitting up, he quickly drank the chilled liquid. It wasn't getting better.... In fact, the blood was making him more aroused and that had never happened with transfusion bags before.

"Hahh.... hahh, fuck...." What was going on with him....? He can't have Castiel anymore, he didn't need him around any longer. So why was his body reacting as it had when he had first met him? It was like how he wanted him before, when he relieved himself after drinking his blood or when he had a couple of wet dreams about him.

Dean undid his fly but paused of taking it out. So he was becoming like that again.... jerking off while fantasizing Castiel bent over before him.

"Fucking shit...." He needed to get rid of it fast. "Think, think...." Various mundane thoughts and imaginations flipped through his brain. Fluffy kittens. Smelly cheese. Old grandmas in a thong. Bobby in a thong. That one did it, as he huffed through his nose. The ache, the need of it was still there but he ignored it as it wasn't as strong. "Fuck...." Reaching for the still cold beer, he placed it between his legs for a much better relief.

He couldn't believe that after everything, the attraction for Castiel came back, like the tumultuous events were nothing to his pride. And pride was the last thing he wanted to think about right now. Maybe he should just go to sleep.... Anything, to keep away from Castiel. "I can't believe this...." he groaned softly.

Castiel needed to be gone, away from here, from the vampire world. Especially from the one who had given him grief in the first place.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Breathing harshly, Dean kept yanking at the silver-alloyed cuffs on his wrists. The chains attached to the concrete floor rattling but not yielding no matter how hard he had tried. And he had kept on trying since being thrown into this dirty cell. More like a dungeon, the scent in the air putrid with old blood and bodies of dead rats discarded to the side. Sweat forming at his forehead, and Dean panted heavily. He had been doing this since.... Time had no meaning here, but judging by the last torture session, it was probably had been three or four hours._

_"Ahh...! Fuck.... Fuck....!" he scowled tiredly. He was wasting what little energy he had, considering that it had been nearly two days-- he guessed-- since he was given his measly meal. Never had he thought that rat blood would taste so disgusting, so bitter. He wondered how Sam could stomach something like that--_

_Wait.... He hadn't heard of Sam since being captured, as he hadn't been shown footage of him still being alive. But if the purebloods had killed him, they would have rubbed it in his face by now. As a matter of fact, they would have killed Sam right in front of him, and Michael would have wanted to see his life shattered into nothing. ".... Damn, fuck...." he scoffed, his chest tightened._

_How did this happen....? They were careful, very careful, of cleaning away and destroying the evidence. But somehow the others knew, and caught them with their guards down. Sure, Dean was able to take some of the loyalists down with a gun full of silver bullets. But they were outnumbered, despite being purebloods, and were hauled into here.... He could remember it so clearly, of Sam screaming in terror for his big brother as he was chained and leashed away like a dog to another direction from him._

_He was far more afraid for him than for himself.... He didn't care that Lilith's cronies would whip him with silver or shock him to the point of his skin burning. If they hurt Sam like this or worse, he would never forgive himself. Because this was his fault that they were here, no doubt about it._

_But it was far different this time.... His actions were his own, and his younger brother was getting punished for this. He didn't want for this to happen. Pride be damned, he might have to beg to see him if his tormenters were to come back. They might laugh at him for bowing his head like a sick dog that needed to be put down. But he would do it, he just have to.... just to give himself a hint of relief in his heart before they snuff out the both of them. That was all it mattered to him, as Dean relaxed the chains and tried to make himself as comfortable as possible on the disgusting floor to rest._

_He barely had a chance to move, when he suddenly heard the clanking sound of the heavy metal door opening. The bright light flooded in, blinding his sensitive eyes temporarily and he clenched them shut. It was time already....? "Fuck, you just couldn't wait to beat my ass again, huh....?" he gritted._

_".... Hah, as if I wanted to at the moment, Deanie-Boy," came a teasing voice, and an ice-cold dread washed over him. He knew who it was, as he opened his eyes and glared at the person casually stalking up to him. "Jeez, if looks can kill...." he laughed._

_"Lucifer, you fucker...." he growled lowly, baring his fangs. Lucifer merely smirked, standing before him in a fancy business suit while Dean was involuntarily kneeling before him in ripped and dirty clothes. "Where's Sam?"_

_"Sam? Oh, Sammy!" he grinned. "Yeah, what about him, Dean?"_

_"Where is he, you fucker....?!" he snarled at him. "You personally treat him like a mangled chew toy, I know what you've done to him! I wanna see him, you cocksucker!" Lucifer just blinked at him. Then he smiled again, before letting out a humorous chuckle._

_"Well, I do have an interest for him, but I'm no cocksucker, Dean," he shrugged. "I'm into chicks, they're good for only one thing--"_

_"Where is he....?! Where the fuck is he?!" he snarled heatedly. With so much hatred toward this pureblood, he couldn't help but feel absolute panic for Sam. If Lucifer came to him personally, then something must have happened to his little brother._

_".... He's all fine and dandy, Dean, don't get your panties in a bunch," sighed the devilish vampire. "As a matter of fact, **he** wanted to see you, after we've, well.... worked him over."_

_"What? What the fuck did you do to him?" he growled, yanking at the chains._

_"Nothing, kid.... I only came here if you wanted to see him for yourself," Lucifer pointed out and Dean froze by his words. Sam.... is here, close by? He would have sensed him but the stench of rotten rodents clogged his nose, as his eyes widened._

_"S-Sammy....? No, you're lying--"_

_"I would never lie, Dean, but if you don't wanna see him then I'll send him off," smirked Lucifer._

_"N-no! No, please, I need to see him....!" he quickly backtracked. His anger peeled away, his vulnerability exposed to this bastard. "All right, please, I need to see Sam. Please...." he begged, though his face tightened with disdainful grimace. Lucifer laughed, taking a few steps back then turning to the opened door._

_"You heard him....! Come see your big bro, Sammy....!" he called out. There was no sounds of rattling chains, no painful whimpers. Dean only hear the sound of calm even footsteps before a tall figure stepped in. He blinked, and then his green-gold eyes widened in absolute shock._

_"Sa.... Sammy....?" he mumbled, dumbfounded. There was no sight of Sam being covered in slowly healing wounds and filthy clothes. Instead.... he looked like a mirror image of his supposed tormentor, appearing as a high-class businessman in a light grey suit with a blood-red tie. His shoulder-length hair combed back, his fair skin appeared slightly flushed as he had been recently fed. There was no sense of fear on his face at all, as his expression was quirked with slight amusement toward him._

_But this couldn't be Sam, Dean immediately thought. There was just no way. ".... Hey there, Dean," he smiled lightly._

_".... N-no, this can't be true, this can't-- what the fuck you're pulling here, Lucifer....?" gasped Dean, the glowing eyes darting to the smirking vampire._

_"It's true, Dean, we worked him over," nodded Lucifer, patting the tall vampire on the shoulder. "At first, Mikey wanted his head on a plate but I made a proposition after what you've done.... Got what I wanted, the prodigal son, allied with me after he had yes to my deal."_

_"Wh-what....? What deal?" he gasped._

_"It's fine, Dean.... I'm fine, standing here before you," assured Sam. His tone calm but it was anything but reassuring. There was a hint of coldness to it, almost dismissive especially when his older brother could only gape at him. "Dean--"_

_"What did you agree, Sam....?!" scowled Dean. "Tell me, you agreed to be Lucifer's bitch for life for what....?!"_

_"Isn't it obvious? I'm doing it for us, Dean.... much like you had done the same for me," Sam smiled, as if it was an answer for a test._

_"Bullshit! I did that to save you--"_

_"And look where it led us.... We're back here once again, because of what **you** did," he shrugged, and Dean nearly flinched at his bland tone. Sam was blaming him, and he deserved that. But he couldn't look away from him out of shame, he didn't want to do that. Not when his baby brother was acting like this._

_".... You did something to him, you fucker," he growled at Lucifer. "This is not Sam, it's some Stepford vamp you're showing me."_

_"No, no, he agreed to my deal," smirked the vampire. "More like begging on his hands and knees for it the moment he saw me. He was willing to listen to me. And he wasn't kidding about being a honor roll student, he did everything he was asked to. Giving in to his true side.... As a matter of fact, this is him. The **true** him, after years of suppressing it down...."_

_"Wha.... No, fuck no. I-I can't believe it," he growled, looking back at Sam. So that meant.... "He fed on humans....?"_

_"After every single deed he have done, he gets filled up with the good stuff like a Thanksgiving dinner," grinned Lucifer, almost like a proud parent. "Instead of going insane from being deprived of it, he gets to have a human a day. Two if he has done a very good job. Don't worry, though, they're usually bums so no one will miss them."_

_"You.... you fucking bastard....!" Dean was breathing faster and faster, his hands curled into tight fists as he let a harsh growl. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM?! YOU TURNED HIM INTO A MONSTER, LIKE YOU!" he snarled out. The chains taut as he attempted to rip them off, with renewed anger burning throughout his veins. But neither of the standing vampires didn't react to his outburst._

_In fact, Sam put up a small smile, as if having to deal with a trouble-making kid. "Dean.... I'm actually better than I ever have been in the longest time," he sighed._

_"You're killing them, Sam! You're slaughtering the humans as if they're livestocks!" he growled. "Not blacking out and waking up to realize your violent mistakes! You're doing it on purpose, almost like with Ruby the last time!"_

_"Oh, her...." nodded Sam. "That was a part of the deal, she's mine now, she doesn't work for Lilith anymore."_

_"That's not the point--"_

_"Don't worry about it, Dean. If we slip up, we'll just get rid of the mistake. After all, we're still purebloods and the bloodline needs to keep on going with another pureblood."_

_"You don't hear yourself speaking, Sam?!" Dean argued. "You're becoming like them, do you really want that?!"_

_".... Better than being tortured for the rest of my life," he simply replied. "What good is keeping your dignity intact, if every day you wish for Death to come take you away? I mean, do you really want to die, Dean, to leave me for good?"_

_"Wha-- no, Sam, I don't want that...." His tone sounding defeated immediately as his shoulders slackened. "What're you doing.... allying yourself with Lucifer, for what?"_

_".... Like I said, I did it to spare your life," answered Sam, slightly cocking his head to the side. "If you don't want to die, then you must take allegiance to the others."_

_"What...?! No.... I can't do that, Sammy! They're the reason why our family is destroyed--"_

_"So you do wish to die.... even though I got a gift for you, Dean?" he smiled, and Dean blinked at that as his little brother stepped back to the opened door. Now he heard a soft jiggling of chain, before Sam grasped it. "See....? I got him back, just for you...."_

_"Ah.... Oh fuck, no...." Dean gasped in disbelief. He saw the familiar figure stumbling after him, and if he could throw up he would because this must be a sick joke._

_Castiel.... His wrists bound with handcuffs and his mouth concealed with duct tape. His crystal blue eyes widened with absolute fear as tears fell non-stop. He appeared unhurt, however, but it didn't mean that he won't be._

_"Remember him....? It hadn't been that long since we let him go," mused Sam. His grip on the priest was iron as he grasped at the messy black-brown hair. Castiel muffled out a frightened noise. He was like a mouse being played around under a lion's paw._

_"H-how....? He was in Utah, we made sure of it that he was safe," gasped Dean._

_"Of course. That snobby state had no interest for the vamps," smirked Lucifer. "But when Sammy here blabbed out his location.... I mean, this human here is the reason why you're chained to the ground."_

_"Sam?" Dean's eyes glared at Sam incredulously. "You betrayed Cas, even though he had done nothing to you? Why?" he questioned._

_"More like you betrayed me, your entire kind, over him...." Sam pointed out, ignoring the pained whimpers from Castiel. "The only way you can make this up is to do as any vampire should. Isn't that right, Cas....?"_

_"Mmh....!" Castiel was pushed to his knees in front of Dean, whose face was fixed with regret as he glanced at him._

_"Fuck, Cas.... I-I'm sorry for this, I didn't know it would come like this," he frowned sadly, reaching for his hands. But the priest recoiled out of fear, seeing him as a monster like before as he whimpered. "Please, Cas--"_

_"Huh, a pureblood apologizing to a talking cattle. Has he always like this, Sammy?" quirked Lucifer._

_"Not exactly, he only apologizes when he truly fucks up," nodded Sam before crouching behind Castiel. The large hand grasping tightly at the hair again. "Aren't you happy to see Cas, Dean? I thought you would be. I mean, after all, you have been lusting after him since day one."_

_"Huh?"_

_"This is for you.... You can drain him dry, fuck him-- Oh wait, you like his virgin blood, so you wouldn't do that yet. Maybe you'll keep him as your personal blood slave for a while. It's your choice, Dean." Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing, of how Sam was treating Castiel. He had barely touched the priest and kept a fair distance from him. But now he was regarding him as some piece of meat, as he pulled his head to the side, exposing his throat to Dean._

_".... Is this it? You want me joining to the dark side by hurting Cas?" gasped the older brother._

_"I wouldn't say hurt, but yeah, this is for your own good," grinned Sam. "All because you wanted his blood, that his very existence causes the downfall of us both. It's only fair that you get into good graces with the others, by doing this to him."_

_"No, Sam! I can't do that, I won't hurt Cas!" he argued, and the smile on his little brother's face finally fell._

_"You won't drink his blood, Dean?" he questioned._

_"I won't hurt him! What are you saying?!" Dean scoffed. "I was wrong for taking him away, but to punish him for what I did, this is wrong! You know that, this is not you who would do this!"_

_"You know.... You act like you know me that well, despite raising me in my entire life," he sighed. "But you don't know what it's like to have this demonic feeling inside you. Trying to fight it every single day and then exploding over one time or another. And now.... I felt free, uninhibited.... I like this new me so much more."_

_"But.... this cannot be you, Sammy...." he scoffed hurtfully. He wanted to cry, wanted to believe that this wasn't happening to him. But anger was rising up again, at Lucifer and the rest of the purebloods who had done this to Sam. "You cannot be my brother.... Not like this. I just can't see myself doing this."_

_"I see...." sighed Sam, all the while Castiel whimpered in sheer fright. "Guess you were right, Dean.... You **are** weak. You are a pitiful self-loathing piece of shit.... You can't even do anything right." His hazel-green eyes glowed as the tall vampire grinned again, his sharp teeth bared._

_"Please, Sammy...."_

_"Say good-bye to Cas, Dean," he said, just before he sank his fangs into the priest's neck._

_"N-NOOO....!" Dean yelled out in total horror, eyes widened at the sight of the priest convulsing in pain under Sam's hold. "Sam, stop this! Stop this!" he screamed. Sam's teeth practically ripped apart the flesh, as Castiel screamed out albeit with the duct tape. "Sam, please! Please stop it!"_

_"Ahh...! I can see why you've wanted this human, he does taste good!" he grinned, dark red blood drenched his mouth and chin. "But it seems that I punctured an artery, he'll bleed out..." he added, taking a brief look at his horrified brother before resuming to feed._

_"No, stop....!" cried Dean, watching the color from Castiel's face draining away as he yanked at his chain. "I'll join if that's what you want! Please, Sam, stop this....!"_

_"Nah, it's too late now," grinned Lucifer. "If you had done the deed yourself, then it would've been easy."_

_"No....! No, Cas-- I'm sorry, I'm sorry....!" he gritted. Burning hot tears trickled out of his eyes. "Please stop, Sam, I'll join you! Just stop....!" By now, the smell of fresh blood assaulted his nose as he watched. Castiel's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he stopped fighting. But Sam kept drinking, his eyes looked up to the older brother who was close to sobbing. "P-please.... please...."_

_".... Doesn't matter anymore," muttered Sam, after letting go of the torn neck. "He's dead. Or about to die, whichever...." he stated much too calmly as he then dumped the body toward Dean._

_Dean felt his heart stop. That cannot be true.... With shaking hands, he reached out for Castiel. The eyes were half-lidded but not moving. Not watching him removing the duct tape off his mouth to see if he was breathing. ".... No...." he muttered tearfully. "Please no...." Castiel's heartbeats were barely thumping, slowing down gradually. But the bloodloss.... "I'm so sorry, Cas.... This is all my fault, I'm sorry...." he mumbled._

_".... D-Dean...." The priest's voice was croaked, weakened, choking for air but he couldn't see him. "Wh-wh-why....?"_

_"I'm sorry...." he muttered, gritting his teeth as he then glared at Sam who stood up. "How could you....? You killed him.... because I didn't want to join with you?"_

_"Because you were weak, Dean. You dropped your guard for a human," muttered Sam, licking his lips nonchalantly. "Just like how I was weak because I opened my heart for a human a long time ago.... The world doesn't have to be black or white for me. But I'd rather be on a winning side than wallowing in filth, like you...."_

_".... You're not my brother anymore," gritted Dean, tears continued to flow. "You're a monster, nothing but a fucking freak to my eyes."_

_"Hm.... Well, you're entitled to your opinion, Dean," sighed Sam. Without warning, he placed his loafer-clad foot onto Castiel's neck and stepped down with a resounding snap. The sound froze Dean, who looked back at the priest._

_The heartbeats stopped._

_".... N-no...." he gasped softly, looking at the life in the blue eyes forever gone. "No.... no.... Cas, please no...."_

_"I'm sorry to waste your time, Nicholas. Seems that Dean will stay stubborn to the very end," said Sam and Lucifer merely chuckled._

_"I'm not surprised, think of it as lesson, Sammy," he smirked as they turned to leave. "You can keep trying if you want--"_

_"No. He doesn't see me as his blood anymore," he shook his head. "Let him rot with the body.... I'm the strong one here while he's stuck in chains, that's all it matters...." The heavy metal door creaked shut, leaving Dean in the darkness._

_"...." The glowing eyes stared at Castiel's body, as Dean sniffled quietly. He reached out and grasped for his hand. The skin still warm. But the priest was dead.... because of him, he was dead. And pretty soon, he will die too. Better than being forced to stay alive and tortured for days on end._

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and Review.

I'll update ASAP!


	18. Victims of a Crime

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 18- Victims of a Crime**

He couldn't believe that he had forgotten an unopened bottle of bourbon hidden in bottom drawer, underneath the haphazardly folded clothes. But Dean needed it.... So fucking bad he needed it, as he quickly opened it and chugged it in two long gulps. After that, he took a deep breath and panted, then took a few more gulps. He felt his eyes stinging but he couldn't dare to cry.

Sam.... turning to the same coldblooded monster like the other purebloods, killing Castiel right in front of him, just to prove that he was stronger than him. It was much too intense, vivid. All too real. He couldn't believe it, that cannot happen.... It won't happen. He drank the rest of the liquor, panting heavily afterwards. He slid to the floor and leaned against the heavy furniture. He hadn't felt this shaken up since.... There was so many times that he couldn't count, being afraid of Sam losing it completely and not coming back from it.

It sounded like what his father had warned him all this time, but he didn't wish to do that. He would be completely alone if.... He didn't want to believe such a thing, that dream could not come true. But what would make Castiel....? The priest would know what was wrong with him and he didn't want to talk to him about it. But he couldn't hide up here until Sam comes back-- that is, if he was willing to talk about it to him.

"Shit....!" he scoffed bitterly. There was no way.... To believe it would make it worse but hiding away from Castiel was just as bad.

And right now he could hear him shuffling about, just eating or otherwise. He wanted to act like that nightmare was nothing.... when in fact it wasn't the first time he had dreamt something similar to this. Of being tortured or killed by his own blood.... Maybe.... he should attempt to go back to sleep, as he slowly stood up. But the moment he closed his eyes, the image of Castiel with a crushed neck flashed in his mind.

No....

Sam was capable of a lot of things, especially during his violent tendencies, but he could never stoop so low to hurt Castiel like that. But then again, he wasn't sure if he knew his own brother as closely as he should. He had never have a close eye on him for every single second. During Stanford, Brady happened. And after those two weeks.... He had tried to do that but it didn't help the both of them in the end. He swallowed dryly and scoffed. Then what can he do....?

Dean glanced at his messy bed, then knelt down to reach underneath it after a moment of thinking. He pulled out a steel encased lockbox and flipped the switch to open it. Living with a human who happened to be a hunter surely had some pros, as the box revealed a few variety of weapons. And one of them happened to be a chrome-and-ivory gun-- a Colt 1911 model. "...." It hadn't been touched much since that fateful incident, but that wasn't the case at the moment, as he picked up a leather-sheathed dagger.

It was for the best.... He locked the box and pushed it back underneath the bed. The weapon was close to four inches long, the hilt made of iron and wrapped with leather. He wasn't as proficient with knives as his old friend Jo, but he kept it as protection. But he supposed that he didn't have use for it anymore, as he stepped out of his room. It was quiet saved for the Castiel's movements. Taking a very deep breath, he then walked downstairs, his tired eyes caught the sight of Castiel in the couch reading.

".... Um, hey there, Cas," he mumbled, and the priest flinched slightly before looking up.

"Oh.... Good morning, Dean," nodded Castiel. "I didn't expect you to be up right now, considering your sleeping habits."

"Yeah, yeah.... I, uh, couldn't sleep," muttered Dean, glancing away briefly. "But.... I was just thinking a while ago, about sending you to Utah," he added, walking up to the couch and sat on the armrest across from him. Castiel noticed the small knife in his hands and frowned in slight confusion.

"What about it, Dean?"

"Well, um.... it's just that you can't be too careful, even if there's no vampires in there," he sighed deeply. "We're not obviously immortal, we can still be killed about the same way as humans through beheading and getting stabbed through vital organs. But there's one major thing that could hurt us significantly, Cas...." He unsheathed the dagger, revealing a shiny slim blade.

"Um, a knife....?" Castiel muttered with confusion.

"Made of pure silver...." Dean pointed out. "It's like an allergic reaction for vamps, the one thing the books are right about. If we touch it, it's like instant burn. But if we get cut or stabbed by it, it hurts like a bitch, even worse. See....?"

"Huh? Wh-what're you....?" Castiel gasped out when Dean deftly slid the blade across his opened palm. The vampire inhaled sharply once the cut appeared with a thin trickle of blood.

"Look.... It's not healing," he muttered gruffly and the priest blinked at that.

"Of course not, you just cut yourself--"

"No, vampires got some fast healing factors like Superman, but silver's our kryptonite," he explained, breathing at the pain in his hand. "Thought you would remember the first time we've met, Cas. When I was bleeding my leg out like crazy...."

"S-so.... you were attacked with silver, Dean?" he asked when he realized what he was saying. So back then....

"Not the first time it happened but yeah," he nodded. Looking away, Dean licked over the wound. The cut was very superficial but it still stung.

".... If your weakness is silver, then why would you have it?" questioned Castiel.

"The same reason why a crazy redneck would have a gun-- which I got myself. It's for protection."

"But.... I wouldn't know how to handle such a weapon, I've never hurt anybody," he frowned and Dean glanced at him.

"Cas, barely twelve hours after I kidnapped you, you kinda slashed at Sam's hand when he tried to make you a sandwich," he deadpanned.

".... Oh...."

"Meh, water under the bridge...." he sighed. "Just take it, I got a spare plus a gun of my own. There's no need to worry, Padre." Right, if the priest were to take this.... then maybe it won't happen. That nightmare cannot happen.

"Dean....? Is there a reason why I should have the weapon?" asked Castiel, a worried frown etched on his face.

"Just.... think of it as a precaution, Cas," he nodded at him, sheathing the small blade. "It's for your own good."

"Oh.... okay...." Hesitantly, Castiel took the blade, feeling how light it was in his hand as he looked at it. "But.... you trust me with a weapon that can surely kill you. Why?"

"I just explained it to you, I think you need some protection--"

"But it sounds like something else, I...." he reasoned but Dean got up and walked to the kitchen. "Dean....?"

"I'm gonna back to bed.... Just need me a bedtime snack," he sighed. Taking out a transfusion bag from the fridge, he then turned for the stairs. Castiel watched up him going up but frowned. It was strange enough to see Dean during morning, but to take a silver weapon from him was out of the priest's comfort zone.

".... Why though?" he mumbled. Was it because of last night, that Dean was still adamant about his own past and Castiel pressed anyway? His book forgotten, he took a closer look at the slim dagger. He removed the sheath and stared at the reflective blade, seeing it glinting under the barely available light.

Something wasn't right here.... Dean was barely looking at him, and when he did it was like he was apprehensive to do so. It just left more questions than answers for him, and those questions probably will never be answered.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The sleep for Dean was restless, even with another bag of blood. He couldn't go deep into his slumber without the image of Castiel crumpled before him, his neck torn and broken. Then the image of Sam grinning and standing over him with blood on his face. Of him regarding Dean as a weak broken person who couldn't even stop him from becoming a monster. He tossed and turned, but couldn't get comfortable. It had been going on for hours, until he realized that it was early evening. But still.... he stayed in bed, not wanting to see Castiel.

It was hard to look at him in the eye. The human's expression was mixed with concern and confusion but all he saw was the terrified look in his nightmare. Of Castiel being afraid of him once again even though he was beginning to trust him. ".... Fuck...." he sighed tiredly, rubbing his eyes. "Damn...." He took a few deep breaths, before standing up. Another facade to put up, as he made himself smile. It was a weak crooked one but that was good enough when he stepped out of his room.

"...." Castiel was quiet, a soft flap of a book page turning downstairs from what he could hear. He then moved for the bathroom to shower up. The hot water was harsh on his skin, but he preferred it that way, to take away the bloody image of the terrible dream. There has to be a way to not let that happen other than giving the priest that knife. If Sam ever to descend that way.... Would that prove his father right? That he would rather kill his blood than saving him?

Taking off the shower, he toweled off and went back to his room for a new set of clothes. Not like he could go anywhere, he thought but he put on his boots anyway. He mentally prepared himself again, hiding behind his shell as he stepped out and went downstairs. Castiel was more than halfway through the sci-fi book in the kitchen, when he glanced up out of reflex. He seemed surprised, mainly because the silver blade was right in front of him.

".... Um, hey there, Cas," muttered Dean.

"Good Evening...." he nodded. "Um, is everything all right, Dean?" he asked, and almost instantly Dean put up a grin.

"I'm good, Cas. Went out like a light after that transfusion bag this morning," he answered. Lie upon lie was better than the truth for now.... "So you've been sitting here all quiet, not watching TV?" he asked just when Castiel was about to speak.

"Oh, uh.... I wouldn't know what to watch, Dean," he frowned lightly. "Well.... It's been a while since I've seen anything good," he shrugged and went to the couch. "What about you, Cas, I'm sure there are some shows you like."

".... I don't know," Castiel replied. "I mean, is there.... any particular favorites you have, Dean?" Dean relaxed a bit, internally grateful that the priest didn't persist on what had happened this morning.

"Not gonna lie but.... I kinda like shows and movies centers around vamps, a bit amusing and whimsical to a guy like me," he shrugged. "Even got a small DVD collection of it, mainly those _Underworld_ movies because of the hot chick and a couple of anime shows."

"Huh....?"

"It's, uh, like cartoon but it's more of an art form from Japan. Sammy thinks they're silly shit but I like it," he said with a slight smirk. "There's this one I like.... it's pretty much Dracula in a red trench coat killing Nazi zombies. Pretty badass...."

".... Is it good, Dean?" Castiel asked quietly.

"Well, it's violent as hell. Not sure if you can stomach it, Cas," muttered Dean. "Plus, it kinda got the Catholic Church as.... the enemy as well, so...."

"Oh...."

"Well, it doesn't matter...." he sighed, flipping through the channels after putting on the television. Throughout the brief discussion, he had nearly forgotten about the turbulent dream. But he had a feeling that Castiel will want to question more about the knife, as he sighed deeply. Again, it was easier to conceal the truth....

As he settled to watch a sports channel, Castiel stared at the couch and could only frown. He wanted to attempt asking again, but he knew that his questions would be diverted. And persisting it would only make it worse, judging by what had happened last night, and he would admit that he was frightfully startled by Dean's annoyance. But why would Dean give him a weapon that could easily kill vampires? More specifically, trust him enough to give him such a thing? Setting aside his book, Castiel got up and moved around to get something to eat.

"...." The priest glanced at Dean again, but Dean wasn't paying attention to him at the moment. He wondered what was going on in his head. No doubt that something else was troubling him.... If Sam was here, he might insist on the getting the answer out of him but only in private. Never in front of him.... Looking into the fridge, he noticed just one transfusion bag left. There was also the gallon container of animal blood but that was halfway done. How do they taste to them, he didn't exactly get it, it had a biting coppery taste to him from what he could remember of his childhood memory. That is....

Pushing his thoughts aside, he took out ingredients for a sandwich as it was the only thing he could eat for now. He opened the upper cabinet and grasped for a plate, only to realize that a glass cup was accidentally pushed aside by his hand and tipped over. "Ah....!" he gasped out and reacted by trying to grab for it. But it toppled over his shoulder and fell to a shattering crash.

"The fuck was that?!" Dean exclaimed in surprise, standing up to look at what happened.

"Ah! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to....!" he gasped.

"Wha-- damn, it's okay, Cas...." frowned Dean as he walked into the kitchen. "Accidents happen, much like the Terminator's love child with that maid. Let me--"

"It's quite all right, Dean, it was my mistake," Castiel shook his head as he knelt down.

"But-- Dude, don't pick up the pieces with your hands," he sighed but the priest had already picked up the biggest shard and reached for the next one. "Cas, wait--"

"Ah....!" winced Castiel when his hand suddenly recoiled from one sharp piece. And in an instant, a smell of his blood caught Dean off-guard. "Ow...." Castiel hissed and glanced at his finger, the cut was shallow but blood was beginning to well up. "Goodness...."

"...." Dean's eyes glowed but he looked away as he exhaled heavily. The smell.... it was like the first time he had gotten a taste of it. But.... it was like the smell itself was enhanced, almost better than before.... But how....?

".... Dean?" muttered Castiel, catching his attention.

"U-uh, hurry up and put a band-aid on that, Cas," he sighed heavily. "There should be some in the first aid kit in the bathroom. I'll clean up this mess."

"But--"

"It's all right, Sammy's a clumsy lummox so I'm used to it," he assured. He didn't look at him in the eye but his instincts were kept under wraps. Castiel blinked in realization and nodded as he stood up. Fresh blood was in the air, he noticed that.

"All right, Dean...." he nodded, turning to go upstairs. Dean didn't wish to look at him once again, this time with the vampire seemingly coiling away by his blood. An ultimate contrast from the first time he attacked him. Stepping into the bathroom, he put on the light and washed the small wound in the sink. He then looked up to get the kit out of the medicine cabinet, but paused when he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

His color was fine, he didn't have that pale sickly look from days ago. And his neck.... the supposed scar from Dean's first bite practically faded into near nothing. He touched it, it didn't have that smooth feel to it like before. "...." Quickly, he removed his shirt and took a step back to observe the other scar on his left shoulder. This one was barely there as well.... Scars like these couldn't have gone away so fast, especially during his ailing condition.

And the wound on his thigh.... It was the most recent, especially when Dean admitted of sucking away the tainted blood during his fever. It would make sense considering that it was the most significant. But.... that too had healed up within a week, with the light pink scar also fading away. Even the pain had stopped within a day, because Dean insisted that it was because of the over-the-counter medicine. But it couldn't happen like that, the injury and the fever were more than enough to send him to the ER....

He touched the scars again, not feeling the tender ache as he would in the first week. Something truly wasn't right.... Castiel put back on his shirt and opened the cabinet for the first aid kit. If he can't ask Dean about his past, then the least he could do is to question about his injuries. Wrapping the adhesive bandage around his finger, he stepped out of the bathroom and went downstairs.

The glass was already gone, as the vampire had cleaned it up. His back was turned to him, opening a bottle of beer and drank it all in a few long gulps. "Damn...." grumbled Dean.

".... Um, Dean....?" muttered Castiel and Dean turned around.

"Took you long enough, Cas," he grinned, though it wasn't convincing to the priest.

"I supposed so...." he sighed deeply and looked at him. "Dean, can I ask you something?" he inquired and Dean blinked in slight confusion.

"Um, sure, about what....?" he asked. Castiel fidgeted a little before clearing his throat and stared straight at him.

".... I've been thinking about it for some time and this is something I cannot look over...."

"Ah, fuck, Cas, if this is about my own shit--" scoffed Dean.

"No, Dean.... It's about the wound on my leg-- as well as the scars left by your inflictions on me," he pointed out. He saw Dean stiffen at his words, but a second later he concealed it with a dismissive smirk.

"The scars were a month old, I'm sure they healed up fine--"

"But the one on my thigh, it couldn't have healed up so easily after a week," he countered. "From what I could remember, it was infected not to mention still bleeding before you tried to heal me.... And then afterwards, most of the pain was gone and the bleeding ceased. Common medicine could not have done that, Dean...."

".... Oh, that," sighed Dean, glancing away. He should have known that Castiel would want to talk about it. Sam did warn him about feeding him his blood but they didn't have a choice when taking the priest to the hospital was out of the option. "Fine, it was more than medicine.... But it's ancient Chinese secret, Cas, so be glad that you're all right, okay?" he sighed.

"But--"

"It's not like there's something wrong with you, so take what you can get, all right?" frowned Dean. "Just make your dinner and read or something, Cas...." But Castiel just stared at him, his eyes squinted as he was still not being convinced by it.

"So.... if I were to cut myself again, it would all but disappear like the bite wounds, correct?" he questioned. Dean looked at him out of reaction, his eyes glowed over what he had said.

"Cas, just don't dig deeper into it, man--"

"Dean.... I understand about not being told about your past. But this time it's about me, and about why my injuries are vanishing so quickly," he pressed, patting at his shoulder and neck. "If you don't wish to talk about that, then fine. I will speak to Sam about it once he comes back. This is something that I cannot ignore...." Dean nearly felt startled by that bold proclamation, he didn't expect that out of Castiel when all this time the priest barely spoke up since the fever.

".... Why do you keep insisting, Cas?" frowned Dean with an exasperated sigh. "Can't you be glad that you're okay?"

"Not if there's something unethical and suspicious behind it, Dean," Castiel huffed and the other man could feel irritation within himself. The persistence was too much, as he scoffed in annoyance.

"What the shit, Cas? First my past and now this.... If you think you can get it outta me--"

"Damn it, Dean....!" scoffed Castiel and instantly Dean shut up. Was he.... just silenced by a mere human? Only Bobby and sometimes Ellen were capable of doing that, and that he could admit. "Just.... This is me we're talking about, not you...." Castiel frowned at him. "Something about this.... it doesn't feel right now that I'm aware of it. Not only with the wounds healing up. Having a dream this past week, when I wasn't capable of having them for most of my life.... It doesn't add up right, Dean, and both you and Sam _know_ it...."

".... And what about it, Cas?" frowned Dean, his sharp teeth clenched behind his lips. "What, you gonna nag Sam about it the instant he comes back?"

"If I am insisting on this instead of your own broken problems, then yes, I will," he pointed out. Almost instantly, Dean growled. He wasn't aware that he was suddenly in front of him, with his eyes glowing intensely. The priest, though initially startled, composed himself as he boldly stared back.

"You.... don't know anything about my problems," he gritted lowly. "Stop digging into it--"

"Or else what? You will threaten me as you have before....?" questioned Castiel, making the vampire growl again. But Dean couldn't do anything about it, as he huffed through his nose. The truth of Castiel's recovery, or his past.... With annoyed grunt, Dean turned away from him and moved for the stairs. ".... Acting petulant won't deter my questions anyway, Dean," Castiel called out.

"You know what, just fuck off, Cas!" he instantly retorted, and just as fast he regretted it when he heard a surprised gasp from the human. "Just stop.... Enough of this bullshit....!" He didn't want to see Castiel's reaction as he rushed upstairs to his room. Why every single time he screwed up whenever he was left alone with the priest....? With an aggravated huff, he closed his door and leaned against it. If he had told him.... it would be another disaster between them.

"Fucking shit....!" he gritted, banging his fist against the hard wood. He should call up Sam about Castiel's questions.... but then he suddenly thought against it. He shouldn't be angry at the priest when he was still afraid of his nightmare coming true.

"Dean...." Dean inhaled when he heard a knock on his door. "Dean, just.... Listen.... I cannot accept this, not when there's something going here. Something that is possibly immoral.... I'm sorry, this is too much for me." A muffled sound of a small object was placed right outside the door. Then Dean heard the footsteps going away, nothing but silence after a few moments of waiting before he scoffed.

So Castiel won't take the knife. That surprised him as much, but he should have expected it. He didn't convince him enough to accept the weapon, because he wasn't a convincing person to save his own life. Sam had the better ability of that with his puppy-dog eyes, but with Castiel trusting the one person who was practically a serial killer, it made Dean feel useless. And useless was one of many attributes about him....

His stomach clenched out of hunger, but he ignored it as he slid to the floor and sighed deeply. He would rather wait until Castiel goes to sleep, as he was tired of the constant confrontations for the night.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

Even after waiting a few hours, Dean exhaled in annoyance and cracked his knuckles. Castiel wasn't going to sleep anytime soon and it was impatiently irritating. He could hear him shuffling around, with the priest occasionally coming up to the bathroom. He could have rushed to the kitchen during that time but then he would have ended up seeing him anyway. "...." He was still sitting on the floor, gazing at the old clothes scattered across the floor.

What was Castiel doing? Usually he would have been asleep by now but what was there for him to do, other than reading and eating....? He sighed deeply and shook his head.

Broken.... Useless....

That was what he was, yet he kept on going, for the sake of Sam despite of his brother's problems. "Like the deaf leading the blind...." he mumbled hungrily. He could hear Castiel moving again, in the kitchen and huffed. Why couldn't he just go to sleep so he himself could eat....? "Fuck...." he sighed, shaking his head. But a moment later, he stiffened when he suddenly smelled blood.

Not Castiel's blood but it was the scent of deer blood that was stored in the fridge, and that made him confused. Did the priest spill it by accident....? He heard footsteps coming up the stairs, then a brief pause of silence, before he then heard a soft shuffle.

".... Dean....?" came Castiel's tired voice and Dean frowned in surprise. "You haven't come out of your room...."

".... Yeah, what of it?" he sighed heavily.

"I know you haven't.... eaten, Dean," muttered Castiel. "I was hoping that we can attempt to talk again but.... this stubborn attitude of yours is very tiresome, I admit it."

"Tch.... Sammy used to it, so what?" he scoffed lightly.

".... I won't leave here until you tell me the truth about my wounds, Dean," he muttered. "Or at least until you come out here for your meal or whatever." Dean blinked at that, but frowned just the same. Castiel was acting just as stubborn but he wasn't annoyed by it. Probably not yet.

"I can function just fine at night, Cas, you need to sleep sooner or later," sighed Dean.

"Then I'll sleep here...."

"And I'll dump your ass on the couch, simple as that," he pointed out.

"I'll simply wake up and come back here--"

"You sound like a frigging child, you know that, Cas?" scoffed Dean. "I won't talk to you about this."

"And because of that, I won't take this silver knife," replied Castiel. "Not until you explain what is going on here. I'm not being stubborn but.... I'm begging here, Dean...."

"...." Dean didn't say anything about it. If he doesn't answer him now, then the priest would just go to Sam and in turn his little brother would end up insisting to find out what was going on with him. And he didn't want that to happen.

"If you could answer me this.... the reason you have given me the knife is because of the fear of the other vampires," he muttered. "But it's more than just the purebloods.... there's something or someone else specifically, correct....?"

The thought of Sam tearing through Castiel's throat suddenly appeared in Dean's mind and he gritted his teeth. He wanted to deny that, but to say it out loud.... Sam wasn't like that, never had he dared to harm those who care about him. But then again.... Castiel was practically a stranger to them, still a hostage as a matter of fact. If his brother were to lose control around him.... "You know what, Cas.... I'm not hungry," he mumbled. "Just leave me alone.... You bothering me, it won't help the both of us...."

"...." Castiel said nothing, but he wasn't walking away. Because he knew he was lying about not being hungry, as the vampire huffed deeply.

"Cas, I could practically hear you breathing outside my door," he scoffed. "Doesn't matter.... I could take this hunger, I've lasted longer when I was imprisoned-- No, I could take it anyway...."

"I see.... I'm sorry, then," Castiel sighed deeply, but he didn't move.

"No.... You don't understand and you never will...." he scoffed.

"Then.... let me understand what's going on with me," he muttered. "What had happened to my wounds, Dean?"

".... Stop it, Cas, I won't talk about it," he frowned. "Just go to sleep and leave it be...."

".... Fine.... Fine, if that's what you think," came the priest's impatient voice. He heard some more shuffling, thinking that he was getting up. Good.... he didn't want to be bothered any more by it--

Dean's green-gold eyes glowed instantly at the smell of blood behind the door. Fresh blood.... Castiel's blood. He stood up without hesitation and swung the door open, only to see the startled human before him. The scent of it, it was coming from a thin cut across the palm of his right hand with the red liquid trickling out of it. The silver knife was in the other hand albeit shaking a bit now that Dean was standing right in front of him.

"What--" Dean held back his snarl and gritted his sharp teeth as he exhaled. "What.... did you just fucking do, Cas?!" he gritted.

"I.... I got you out of your room, didn't I?" frowned Castiel.

"That's beside the point....!" he growled. "Why did you harm yourself, just so I have to talk to you....?!"

"Simply because you won't answer me...." he panted. The cut wasn't deep but significant enough for the bleeding to trail down his arm.

"I don't have to answer! So what if I refuse to....?!" he scowled.

"Then Sam will have to wonder why I harmed myself, and it would involve you," he said shakily.

"You're playing dirty, over this....?!" Castiel winced when Dean suddenly grasped him by the wrist. "Didn't expect you to stoop so fucking low! What the fuck's matter with you, Cas?!"

"It's like I said, I won't back down without an answer....!" winced Castiel.

"Damn it, Cas....!" Dean's fangs came out as he growled again. The smell of the blood was so strong and fresh, it was as if the priest expected him to react this way.... "Just.... Just.... clean up this wound," he gritted. "I'll drink the animal blood if that's what you want! Just stop prying into this, okay....?!"

".... You're just as stubborn as me, Dean...." breathed Castiel. "I won't back down from this...." The moment he had said that, he was suddenly slammed against the wall. The silver dagger fell out of his hand with a clatter echoing the empty cabin. Dean's face was barely an inch from his own as he bared his fangs.

"Stop.... Just stop, Cas....." he rumbled lowly, when his expression soon etched with total weariness. "Please, I can't fucking stand it anymore.... About this or about my past.... I'd rather slit my wrist with the silver than cave in like this." Castiel looked at him, his tone was proven true but his eyes.... Behind the glow, it was full of frustration. He didn't get it. "Cas, just fucking leave it be...."

"But.... why?" he muttered.

"What does it matter--"

"It matters, because I've forgiven you for your actions upon me before...." he pointed out and Dean blinked at that. "What difference it would have make now? Whatever you have done.... you've done it for a reason, that I couldn't be taken to a hospital. So why won't you say, because of how I'd think of you....?"

".... You didn't hesitate to call me a monster before, you'll do so again," he muttered abysmally. His hold on the priest was still firm, before he glanced at the wound. ".... Do you really wanna know why, Cas....? You kept saying that you can stomach whatever shit we spew at you, but this is different."

"Wha.... what are you talking about, Dean?" questioned Castiel, now frowning with wariness and confusion.

"Why me and Sam are purebloods, that we're the 1% of the vampire population....?" he muttered. "It's because of what we are.... Untainted by human genetics despite looking like humans ourselves."

"What do you--"

"We've never been sick.... Our blood, however, is desired by the mixblood," he continued with a grim frown. "It's because it's capable of certain things. Things that could be the envy of most humans should they know about it...."

".... I don't get it, your blood?" Castiel asked. His apprehensive voice barely wavered above a whisper. Dean inhaled deeply, his eyes glowing brighter than before, as his hand let go of his shoulder. "Dean....?"

"This.... this is what I healed you with, Cas...." he rumbled, raising his wrist to his fangs.

"Wha--" Castiel's blue eyes widened in when he saw Dean suddenly biting into his own flesh. Almost instantly, dark red blood trickled out of the small wound as Dean looked up at him. "Oh, Lord...." he gasped.

"Cas--"

"Is that what happened....?" Castiel gasped in disbelief. "You made me.... ingest that, to heal me? To take away the fever....?"

"I didn't have a choice--"

"But why....? You could have let me sleep through the fever....!" he argued, his heart beating harder as he looked at him with bewilderment.

"The wound was infected, Cas....! I had no choice!" he frowned. By now, the small bite healed up but the priest didn't notice it as he shook his head.

"No.... I can't believe this--" he scoffed.

"Damn it, it wasn't the first time I did this to you! Remember when I fed you it, when I was trying to compel you?" Dean questioned and Castiel looked at him. Right.... Dean had attempted it but he was in such of a panic that he had nearly forgotten it. "Cas, just listen.... It's okay, you're okay now. The blood is practically medicine, it doesn't harm you or anything--"

"But still.... it's wrong, Dean.... You and Sam didn't tell me from the start," Castiel grimaced. He felt sick. Ingesting blood-- a vampire's blood-- should be a sinful manner.

"Tch.... What difference would it make? Your reaction is proof enough," scoffed Dean, before biting his wrist again.

"W-wait, Dean, what're you trying--" Castiel winced when Dean let go of his cut hand and gripped his chin. "Wha--" With the vampire's body pinned him against the wall, he struggled out of reflex as he gasped sharply at the sight of the bitten wound before him. "N-no-- Mmm! Mmh-mmhh....!" He cringed in instant disgust when the bitter tasting blood was on his tongue.

"Don't.... This is what you wanna find out, right?" gritted Dean. Castiel whined and grasped at Dean's arm with his good hand. The blood was filling up his mouth and he choked. Out of reflex, he accidentally swallowed some of it, making him grimace more. Why Dean was doing this to him....? He winced at the throbbing pain on his cut palm and he glanced at it.

The bleeding had stopped.... because the wound was already healing. Slowly healing, but the skin was restoring little by little. The Catholic part of him was thinking irrationally, was this a form of hellish sorcery being forced upon him....? This cannot be.... He felt so sick, he wanted to throw up. But at the same time, he was starting to feel sluggish, as if drugged though he still had a tight grip on Dean's arm. "Mmhhh...."

"Cas...." His own wound should heal up by now, as Dean removed his wrist from the priest's mouth. "Cas, please...." he gritted softly, quickly covering his mouth the moment Castiel struggled again. "Just swallow it down, you'll feel better...."

"Mmm....!" Castiel looked at him, and Dean nearly faltered when he saw his sapphire eyes glistening with warm tears. No.... he had already lost what little trust he had with him.... He should have expected that. Castiel grimaced under his hold and swallowed down most of the blood albeit choking a little.

"Shit...." he frowned terribly. "Cas.... Listen to me, you'll get better outta this, I promise you...." He slowly removed his hand and Castiel coughed out the remnant, the sounds close to retching but nothing came out after that.

"You.... That's sickening.... This is appalling...." he heaved heavily.

"Cas--"

"No, this is wrong, disgusting...." grimaced Cas, before he leaned forward and heaved again. "Why did you do this to me?"

"Because you kept insisting, and this is what happened!" he scoffed. "I didn't wanna do this, why couldn't you have taken my silence as a way of protecting you....?!"

"H-how is this protecting me....?" he gasped in disgust.

"Just calm down--"

"No, let me go!" he scoffed, struggling out of his hold.

"Cas, just look at me....!" Dean scowled. He grabbed ahold the sides of his head to make him look. "Please, Cas.... _Look at me_...." he pressed. Castiel stared wide-eyed at Dean. Right at his glowing eyes.... Those glowing but.... hypnotic eyes.... "Look at me, Cas, and calm down.... _Please_...."

".... Uh...." The terrified look on his face seemed to suddenly cease, as the glisten in his eyes had dimmed. "Ah.... okay, Dean...." he mumbled, his body slackened.

"Okay....?" Dean repeated. He frowned in instant confusion. One minute Castiel was fighting against him, but now he seemed oblivious that he had just ingested a pureblood's blood. "You're feeling okay.... Am I right?" he questioned, still staring into his eyes.

".... Yes, Dean, I feel fine now...." muttered Castiel.

"Good.... good...." sighed Dean but he frowned just the same. The priest was acting so placid.... It was almost as if.... "Wait.... wait a fucking minute...." he muttered, narrowing his eyes.

This can't be right.... There was no way that Castiel could be under _compulsion_ now.... Unless....

"Cas, listen to me, and _listen_ good...." he muttered quietly and evenly.

".... Huh....?"

"What I did to you just now.... it had never happened," Dean muttered. "You only asked for the medicine from the bathroom and I gave you some, nothing else...."

".... Oh.... Okay, Dean," Castiel nodded slowly, the eye contact not breaking. The fear within him practically fell to zero, with his expression unusually peaceful. Dean just stared at him, not sure what was going on exactly. He wasn't even sure if he should feel excited that he was able to do this now, as he breathed shakily.

"Okay, sure...." he nodded. "It's late, so you should drink some water and go to bed. Go do that, Cas, okay....?"

"Oh.... All right, Dean," nodded Cas, slightly smiling at him but Dean frowned grimly. The smile.... it wasn't legit, because of the hypnosis. It was like talking to a ventriloquist puppet.

"All right, Cas.... let's go downstairs for that," he muttered and he looked away, breaking the contact. Castiel swayed a little and groaned softly, but the vampire held him by the shoulders and led him down the stairs. Compulsion often made the victims dizzy so Dean was careful as he then led him to the couch and made him sit down. "Holy fucking shit...." he gritted under his breath, going to the kitchen. "Shit...."

A glass of deer blood was on the counter near the sink but his hunger was distractedly ignored as he filled a new cup with water. ".... Here, drink this, you'll feel better, Cas," he muttered, after rushing back to the priest's side. He had repeated those words so many times with Sam that it was like second-nature to him. But this time he was hoping that it would be just as okay with Castiel, who took the glass and drank the water without hesitation.

".... Hm," sighed Castiel before Dean took the cup away and tilted his face up.

"Cas.... I want you to go to sleep now, okay....?" he muttered, his glowing eyes staring into Castiel's half-lidded ones. "You'll forget about the cut on your hand and me giving you blood once you wake up. You won't remember that...."

"Okay, Dean...." he mumbled.

"Okay, you trust me, okay....?"

".... Yes, Dean, I trust you on it...." muttered Castiel, and Dean felt the bile in his guts churning. Just like with the smile, this was a fake. He was certain of it....

"Go to sleep.... Sleep, _Castiel_...." he muttered quietly. Castiel blinked at him, then blinked again before his eyes closed completely. Dean watched him slumped back into the lumpy cushions and waited until he heard his breathing going into an even pace. "...." He waited a few minutes more, before going back upstairs, back to his room. But not to hide away this time.

"Come on...." he muttered breathlessly, picking up his phone and speed-dialed a number. "Come on.... You better not be fucking right now, I swear...." he frowned when it began to ring but it continued for four times.

".... Hahh.... H-hey, hello, Dean....?" Sam finally answered, sounding partially exhausted by the way he was panting.

"Shit, you were doing it, right?" he scoffed.

"H-huh....? Damn it, Dean, if you're prank-calling me because you're bored at the cabin--"

"No, Sammy, that's not it. This is really important...." Dean sighed heavily. "Something happened just now.... And it's really fucking my head over it."

"Wait-- wait a minute, what?" questioned Sam. "What're you talking about, Dean, what happened over there?"

"It's.... She's not listening in on you, is she?" muttered Dean in a cautious tone. As if he wanted Ruby to eavesdrop on something like this. He heard a ruffling of bedsheets as well as an annoyed haughty muttering.

"W-wait, Dean-- Ruby, sorry, but this sounds serious...." Sam sighed, then the other muttering ceased. He must have went to the bathroom for privacy, Dean guessed. "Dean.... What's going on over there....?" he muttered in a hushed tone. "Did something happen to.... Cas?"

".... Yes, Sammy, but listen--"

"Barely a day in, and you screwed up already?" Sam scoffed softly.

"No....!" hissed Dean. "I didn't do anything wrong. I mean, I did something but-- Sammy, listen to me.... I did it."

"Wh-what....?" Sam gasped with utter confusion. "What.... what did you do to him, Dean?"

".... I managed to compel him, Sam," relented Dean. "I looked into his eyes, muttered some shit to him, and he was under the spell. That's what happened...." He heard a sharp surprised inhale on the other end.

"Are.... you serious?"

"I just told him to sleep and he instantly knocked out like a light.... I'm telling you, Sam, I'm going crazy over it and I've never felt this way before," he shook his head.

"Wow, fuck...." gasped Sam. "I can't believe that.... But what happened beforehand, that could've triggered it, Dean? Can you tell me?"

".... Well, it can wait, Sammy," Dean sighed heavily. "I mean, you're several states away. I don't wanna be a mood killer on your.... birthday sex thing."

"I think what little you've told me had killed it instantly," his brother huffed tiredly. "It sounds very serious, I can't just ignore it. First Cas was immune to it, and now he obeyed you by going to sleep. You think.... it has to do with that head injury?"

"I don't even fucking know...."

"Okay.... I'll get there as soon as possible," muttered Sam.

"No, you don't hafta leave now--"

"Dean, it's fine.... I'm sure Ruby'd understand if I tell a white lie," he sighed.

"Tch.... Fine, just don't throttle me when you come back," frowned Dean.

"Depends on the situation, jerk...." Sam hung up on the older vampire who huffed. Great.... Tossing his phone onto his bed, Dean stepped out of his room. There was no sound downstairs saved for Castiel's breathing. He couldn't leave him all alone, that was what he believed as he went back down. The deer blood was probably curdling by the room temperature but he took the glass to drink it anyway. At least the priest was considerate, but he was having a hard time feeling appreciative at the moment.

He wondered.... Was it because of his blood? The first time didn't count because it was a pinprick drop from his thumb, and the other time he had mixed it with regular medicine and water. So that could be it.... He gave it to him straight from the source. Maybe after discussing to Sam-- if the tall vampire doesn't scold him like an agitated mother first, they might have to scour through the lore once again. Something wasn't right here....

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Wh-what....?! You're leaving just like that, in the middle of our shit?!" Ruby exclaimed in an irrational mix of disbelief and anger. She was nude, covering her bare chest with the flimsy hotel sheets as she glared at Sam from the bed. "We've been here for barely a day-- barely twelve hours-- and you tossed me aside because of some family emergency....?!"

Sam internally cringed at her tone, but he couldn't blame her as he hastily put on his clothes and gathered his stuff together. If Dean hadn't called him up a few minutes ago, he would have stayed put with her during the rendezvous. ".... Look, I'm sorry, all right?" he huffed. "There was a reason why Dean had called me. Even though he told me that I don't have to go back--"

"Then don't go, Sam! God...!" scoffed Ruby. "It's really not your problem! You're not even the leader, let your dumbass brother handle his shit--"

"His shit got him into some trouble in the first place, Ruby, and like always I have to clean up after him," he frowned. "I'll make it up to you the next time, okay?"

"No, it's not okay, Sam!" she scowled in disbelief. "Lilith's only lenient because I'm with you, and that's only when she's in a good mood....! If anything, she could've forbidden me from being with you in the first place when I started working for her!"

"Yeah, well, she probably compelled you into telling her about us before letting you," he scoffed.

"No she didn't--"

"How could she know about us, then?" he frowned at her. "Only Dean and maybe a couple of vamps knew some years back. But you're practically the lowest of the low on the hierarchy, Lilith could've compelled you from the start and you didn't realize it." He didn't want to argue like this, but she brought up her brother's tormentor in such a nonchalant manner that it was rather agitating.

"Well, you ever thought that maybe an ass-kisser working for the purebloods saw us at one time or another?

"If that was the case, they would have captured us a lot sooner," Sam huffed as he scratched through his hair. "Just, please understand--"

"No, I'm getting tired of this, Sam," scoffed Ruby, her bright red eyes glowing. "These past couple of years, we've been doing this without a problem. But since that donor came around, your mind's been on something else." If Sam made any hesitation, he didn't visibly show it. He just scoffed and narrowed his eyes on her.

"It's still new, and I'd admit that it's a bit distracting--"

"You already blew me off once, Sam, and now you're running off to your brother-- I swear, you guys are hopeless without each other," she scoffed.

"Ruby...." he growled, but quickly composed herself. "I get it, you're pissed off. But this trouble my brother's having, I have to be there to get him out of it. After all, your boss as well as the others are watching for any fallout from us." It wasn't a total lie. But that much was true to a point at the moment. He wasn't sure what was going on over there, that Castiel was hypnotized by Dean and Dean not saying another word of it until he comes back. Ruby glowered at him in a petty manner, crossing her arms over her chest.

"It has to do with that human pet, maybe Dean sucked him too dry--"

"I just don't know, Ruby. He did some shit and he can't speak about it over the phone," he sighed heavily. "Can't I do that for my only family? All these years, is it really that hard to believe that I want to keep watching out for him?"

"Well, he certainly hovered over us like a police helicopter back in the day," she scoffed angrily.

"I understood his reasons then--"

"And he was the reason that we broke up," Ruby huffed. "Remember? You chose him over me for that." With his bag in his hands, Sam exhaled as he walked up to the bed. Almost instantly, the mixblood's anger dissipated into wariness once she noticed his glowing eyes on her.

".... You had me scared, fucking terrified, when you told me about it," he muttered quietly, his jaw set. "And when I saw the fear in Dean's eyes when he thought it was true, it felt like I've let him down big time. I wasn't ready-- we weren't ready, we were running wild and the thought of raising a kid...."

"Right.... I am sorry about that--"

"No.... you made me think that I made a mistake but then you owed up to it," he scoffed softly. "The only reason you were sorry was because you tried to pull wool over two purebloods and fucked up.... _That_ was why we broke up, I couldn't trust you like how I trust my brother...."

".... And yet, you've told me things that you wouldn't tell your own brother now that we're together again," Ruby pointed out, not an ounce of guilt in her voice as usual. "'What good is trust if it doesn't work both ways....?' You pretty much spat that out to me before dumping my ass...." Sam stiffened at that and grimaced. But wasn't that the point of a relationship, to confine with a lover who would understand you? He could admit that he didn't want to talk to Dean over every single thing, simply because he didn't want Dean to fuss over him.

"So I guess me going out with other girls is still an open option, then...." he exhaled as he turned to leave. But suddenly, he was halted when the slim arms wrapped around his shoulders as Ruby buried her face into his hair.

".... I'm sorry...." she mumbled quietly. "I was mad but you're right.... You got responsibilities even though you're not the leader. If you need to go, then go, Sam." Sam sighed deeply. He really didn't want to fight, not wanting to bring up the past so many times.

_"That's why history is called history for a reason, son,"_ as Bobby would put it. _"We learn from it and try not to make the same mistakes outta it. But plenty of people do it whether they're aware of it or not...."_ Sam was beginning to wonder that now.... But still, he couldn't find himself giving up on Ruby, regardless of Dean's thinly veiled objections of her. With a bit of reluctance, he turned around and nuzzled at her face.

"I promise to make this up to you, Ruby...." he rumbled. His lips curled back to reveal the sharp teeth as he moved to kiss her. With human girls, he had always been careful, even as simple as kissing as he rarely went through it with tongue. Even with Jess, the sex they had was slow and heedful, not wanting to alarm her with his fangs. But since being with Ruby, it was like his primal instinct had roared out, wanting to dominate the mixblood woman. Maybe it was his pureblood status since he was dating another vampire, as a subtle sense of arousal was rising up.

"Ah, Sam--" whined Ruby when Sam moved to the hollow of her neck, wincing at the needle-like prick on her skin before the large hands caressed her sides and back.

"Hmmm.... I promise, okay?" murmured Sam as he then moved away. Her blood on his tongue was much different from that of a human, and different from Dean's blood as well. Maybe it was due to the fact that she was a child of turned humans, no true vampiric gene within her. "And next time, I think we should talk more often than just screwing around. And maybe emphasize more on the call than the booty...."

".... All right, Sam, I get it," nodded Ruby and Sam responded with one quick kiss on the lips.

"I'll call you," he said, before moving away and finally left the hotel room. He leaned against the closed door and sighed heavily. Another reason why he wanted to keep this pitiful relationship going.... He could have stayed in his walled self a lot longer, even when Dean was taking care of him like a home nurse. He had tried to be strong for his older brother, although he was barely capable of taking care of himself after enduring the torture by the purebloods.

The one day he wanted to prove to Dean that he was okay-- when he emotionally wasn't, that he wanted to go to town for supplies. The one day that Ruby coincidentally showed up out of the blue, and wanted to be back with him. It seemed sincere, he wanted to believe that and accepted her. And as expected.... Dean took the news like a punch to the face. When he heard of it, the glass beer bottle in his hand suddenly shattered. He wasn't even aware that he was bleeding when he saw both of them entering the cabin.

Maybe he felt like he had failed Sam of getting his life back, and the one person who had screwed them over before was the one who made him smile after what had happened. Sam could only frown. "Damn...." he scoffed softly. He should talk to Dean about this.... after this situation with Cas, as he walked down the carpeted hallway.

Meanwhile, Ruby laid back down on the lumpy bed. She sighed with resignation and stared at the ceiling. So Sam was running back to his precious big brother, she shouldn't be surprised. Even when she had him wrapped around her finger, in the end family came first. Not like she would know.... After several minutes of being quiet, she moved for her phone on the nightstand and dialed a number.

".... Yes....?" came a lyrical but pernicious feminine voice.

"Lilith.... It's about that problem the Winchester brothers are having," Ruby muttered.

"Oh....? Is that right?"

"Yeah, about that so-called human donor.... The one who may not be on the register...." she muttered quietly.

"I see...." The tone was hauntingly amusing, and Ruby couldn't help but shudder under her voice.

"Y-yeah..."

"So.... Do you know his name by now, Ruby?" she commanded in an even though menacing tone.

"No, I didn't bother to--"

"Well.... It will come to sooner or later, but I doubt it'll get to the Aligheris at any time," she replied. "That boy toy of yours will slip up and I'll have a reason to make use of that savage Dean once again...."

"And what will make of Sam?" Ruby asked, unsure of wanting to know the answer.

"All in good times. After all, you've said that he had been acting rational lately," Lilith answered coolly, just before the call abruptly ended. So that was it.... Ruby simply frowned. Not that she was afraid for Sam's life, but she was more concerned of her being found out by either him or Dean. No doubt that they wouldn't hesitate of ending her life, but then again by doing so her boss would find a reason to take them down in return.

She didn't want to go down like that, but then again she really did enjoy being with Sam.... and she wouldn't want to waste the relationship over her espionage.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_".... Hmm...." Castiel made a face and whined, before rubbing his tired eyes. He have read the same passage of the bible over and over again for the last hour and a half but he didn't get it. As a matter of fact, the entire tome was befuddling to him on paper. It was a lot different than hearing the words preached out, but to his ten-year-old mind he wished that it was written by today's standards._

_In the small suburban house in Pontiac, Illinois, the bible was one of the few things he was allowed to read. His mother was deeply religious of thier faith but by no means was she overly zealous. But still, considering that he went to a public school, it had given him troubles of learning certain subjects. He wasn't like the rest of his classmates, despite wanting to blend with the crowd. But the fear of sinning as well as his mother's words made him a very hesitant boy._

_Sitting by his desk in his room, he frowned. He would never be like them, seeing friends clustered happily and talked about the latest video games and books. Sometimes he wished he could read this **Goosebumps** series everybody had been raving about, but one look of the cover when he picked one up-- a skeletal family smiling sinisterly while having a picnic-- made him revolt out of fright. If only he was considered 'normal', maybe his mother as well. He didn't want to think of it that way, Heaven forbid.... but if he father hadn't passed away, maybe he would be like the rest._

_".... Castiel....?" Castiel flinched out of his thoughts when his mother knocked on his slightly opened door. She stepped in, long dark blond framed straightly around her oval face as tired dark grey eyes glanced at him._

_"Oh, hi Mom.... You're home already?" he smiled lightly. As long as he could remember, his mother had been working on two jobs just to keep them floating. Again, deep down, if only their father was still alive...._

_"You didn't stop by the cathedral today, Castiel....?" she asked, and the boy frowned a little._

_"Oh.... The teacher gave us so much homework, I was just taking a break," he nodded._

_"Okay.... Just making sure," she sighed. "You've been reading the assigned passage for Sunday?" she asked after noticing the bible before him._

_"Hmm.... It's hard to make sense of it, Mom, I don't get it," frowned Castiel. "Can you help me on it?"_

_"Sorry, I have to rest up first then start dinner," she smiled tiredly. "Is there anything you want in particular, sweetheart?"_

_"I don't mind chicken."_

_"Okay.... Just remember to stop by the church tomorrow," his mother nodded, moving to leave. "He's expecting you to help out, after all...."_

_"Okay, Mom...." The door was mostly closed after his mother left his room, before Castiel eventually stood up. As much as he liked expressing his religion, it somewhat alienated him from socializing like a normal kid. Right behind the lamp on the desk was a framed picture hanging on the wall. His father was in it.... His mother was right about him being the exact copy of the man with messy black hair and blue eyes full of life._

_Castiel was only a toddler, barely three years old, hanging onto him with a big grin. He was taken Home much too early, that was what he was told.... But at least his mother was glad that another father figure was looking after him...._

Castiel gasped out and flailed the instant he woke up, his eyes wide open before his arms were suddenly held down. "Ahh....!" he yelped out and thrashed some more. What was going on with him....? Why did he dream again, involving a memory.... or what felt like it....? "Ahhh....!" he winced.

"Cas! It's us-- it's me, Sam....!" Sam....? It was Sam, that was his voice.... It sounded very alarming. Gasping for air, his vision cleared in time to notice the tall vampire hunched over him. Sam appeared just as startled, shaken even, as his eyes glowed at him. ".... Cas, are you all right....?" he muttered in concern.

".... H-huh....?"

"Cas.... Come on, let's sit you up," he muttered, as he gingerly pulled the priest up. Castiel groaned, it felt like a dizzy spell he had during his fever. He squeezed his eyes shut, vaguely realizing that he was on the couch. "What happened to you, Cas....? It seemed to me that you were.... dreaming, right?"

"Huh, wha-- I was dreaming....?" he gasped in utter surprise. That was right, he had another dream. Another memory, in fact.... It felt like something that he had nearly forgotten about. But why....?

"Cas....?"

Castiel blinked out of his worried thoughts when he heard Dean's voice this time. His tone was like Sam, although it sounded more panicked. But why though....? He glanced up in time to see Dean walking into view. His expression was deeply etched with weariness, as if he hadn't slept, but also alarmed as he took in Castiel's reaction

".... Cas, what do you remember?" he questioned quietly.

"Huh?"

"Your dream, I mean.... What happened, Cas?" asked Dean.

"Oh...." Barely thirty seconds after waking up, it was a lot to take in, as Cas rubbed his head. His sight was still a bit blurry. "Just.... my childhood home.... back in Pontiac," he mumbled. "Doing homework, studying the bible.... I saw my mother there."

"Your mom?" Dean muttered in surprise, and Sam glanced at him with a frown.

"Yes...." Despite just waking up, he was utterly exhausted as he groaned softly. "This is too much.... Why is this happening to me right now....?"

"Just calm down, Cas," nodded Sam. "Take a deep breath and calm down...." Castiel rubbed his eyes, barely noticed that Dean had left his side for the kitchen. Seconds later, he came back, crouching before him with a glass of water.

"Here, Cas...." he muttered. Castiel looked at him, and blinked in slight surprise. The living room was mutely lit by the light of the kitchen, but somehow.... his vision seemed to enhance like before. He could see the vampire's face clearly as if they were under daylight. He could even see the scattered freckles on his face and with his green-gold eyes filled with absolute worry....

"Dean...." he frowned and Dean stilled himself not to flinch of being addressed. "I.... um, I...." It was on the tip of his tongue. Something was suspicious about the brothers hovering him like this, and the dream.... But what was it....? He looked at him again with a deep frown and took the glass. ".... Thank you, Dean," he finally answered.

"Sure, Cas," nodded Dean.

"But...." Something was there, but.... what _was_ it, exactly....? It was like he was supposed to remember to do something before falling asleep.

".... Let's start from the beginning. What did you do last night, Cas?" Sam asked quietly and Castiel glanced at him. It almost felt startling to see the difference between the brothers now, with Sam's chestnut hair seemed to have more luster from what he could tell.

"I.... I remembered having a fight with Dean, last night, that's it," he muttered. Dean stiffened a little and Sam frowned slightly but kept his composure as he sighed.

"And what was the fight about....?"

"About...." Blinking, Castiel reached up to touch the side of his neck then his left shoulder. "Something about the scars on my body.... It healed up so fast, that it didn't seem right...."

"I see. Well.... you've been resting and eating a lot, so that was expected," nodded the tall vampire. "You've been taking it easy after the fever, maybe your body was adjusting to the recuperation and catching up with the healing and such. I'm sure of it, Cas...." Dean stood up and glanced away. His little brother sounded more convincing of the fake explanation.

"But.... Dean mentioned about.... the medicine, the pills in the bathroom--"

"Medicine affect individuals differently, and thankfully it worked on you," Sam sighed with a light smile. "I think that should be a good thing, right?" Castiel looked at him and simply nodded at his reassurance. Better than Dean's stubborn answer.... at least of what had happened last night. "Is that all, Cas, or is there something else?"

"Um.... then I tried to talk to him again later that night, after he had hidden himself in the room," muttered Castiel, his eyes squinted with confusion. "I guess.... he stepped out to give me more medicine and suggested that I should rest up because it was late. But...."

"Yeah....?"

".... Guess that was it.... I must've been that tired since my body was still healing from the fever," he shook his head.

"Guess so," agreed Sam, glancing over at him brother. "Well, you should still take it easy, Cas, okay?"

"Sure but.... weren't you supposed to be somewhere, Sam?" he asked, and the tall vampire simply smiled.

"It got canceled on me at the last minute so I came back.... Let me have a quick minute to talk with Dean," he suggested.

"Uh, yeah, now that you're back...." sighed Dean, deep down he was frowning grimly. He had already endured Sam's disbelieving glare on him the instant the other vampire came back, but surprisingly Sam waited until Castiel woke up from his compulsion-induced sleep. But now that it was proven the priest didn't remember ingesting the blood, Dean might have to endure it again, as the younger brother walked over to the door.

"Dean, I need to discuss about using the car to go to another town," nodded Sam, as he stepped out.

".... Fine...." Not wanting to be around Castiel any longer, he followed him outside. The late afternoon sun was concealed by the clouds and the trees but he grimaced when they trailed up to the garage. He could hear the knuckles cracking into fists-- even without the rage, Sam could pull a mean sucker punch. But the tall vampire simply exhaled as he stopped and turned to him.

"So....? Tell me everything, and I mean everything, Dean," he frowned deeply.

"Sammy--" sighed Dean.

"Tell me...." he scoffed, his eyes glowing. Dean grimaced again. Before him, it was just his angry yet concerned little brother. But.... not the sadistic and cruel monster who killed Castiel in front of him in his nightmare. His shoulders slumped and sighed, feeling his gut churning as he then glanced down at his feet.

".... I gave Cas a silver knife I had stored up," he muttered.

".... Why....?" Sam questioned, his tone slightly confused but he was still frowning.

"I.... I didn't feel completely sure about sending him unprepared to Utah, Sammy," he answered. "I only thought it was a good idea but.... it obviously wasn't...."

"Is that why both of you were fighting?"

"Yes and no," sighed Dean.

"Damn it, Dean--"

"You don't get it, Sam," scoffed the older brother. "I got cornered by his fucking questions about his scars and the weapon and I froze up, I wasn't thinking right. And when he tried to talk to me again that night.... Fuck, I panicked for real, Sammy, and I'm so sorry for it."

"Sorry? Dean.... what did you do this time?" Sam questioned, now sounding alarmed.

"Cas, he.... pushed me into a corner for real....." frowned Dean as he looked up with a grim frown. "He cut his own hand, and I was forced to confront him for it. It all happened so fast, and I.... Fuck, I did it again. I fed him my blood to heal him up."

".... You did?" his brother gasped softly, his glowing eyes widened. "Dean--"

"It was different this time. This time, I compelled him somehow when he was starting to panic. He calmed down just long enough for me to make him forget about what had happened.... To be honest, I was more freaked out than excited that I was able to do it. But please, Sammy, you gotta believe me on this. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. But it did.... I'm sorry about it."

Sam just stood there, his eyes staring elsewhere, as he took a deep controlling breath. Dean couldn't help feeling the gut-wrenching pain inside him, he didn't want to be judged or even looked down by his blood for this. The silence, sprinkled by scattered chirps of birds, surrounded them for a moment. What was going on in Sam's head right now....?

".... How did it happen the first time, Dean?" muttered the younger brother, catching him off guard.

"Um, what?"

"When you fed him your blood," he rephrased.

".... I used a glass of water and mixed it with the medicine," he muttered. "But last night, I fed him straight from my wrist. But-- I wasn't thinking straight--"

"Wait a minute...." Sam's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at him, his anger now forgotten. "It was diluted the first time, it wasn't enough to cause something like compulsion on him. But you gave him 100% of your true blood, Dean.... It did more than just healed the cut."

"I get that...." Dean sighed abysmally.

"No, Dean," Sam shook his head. "Cas had another dream soon after you compelled him to sleep. It wasn't like the last time when he dreamt for the first time in years, that came only a couple of days after he came out of the fever. It's just that.... this is a long shot, Dean, but this has got me thinking."

"Huh....?" Dean looked at him and frowned in utter confusion. "What're you going on with this, Sammy?" he questioned.

"Like I said before, Cas might have brain damage that nobody knows about...." he sighed. "But.... it's damage in the body nonetheless. With a pureblood's blood coursing inside him, it's doing far more than healing away the scars on his body. Maybe, for a moment, it was fixing his brain just long enough to get compelled."

"Are you.... are you really serious about that, Sam?" frowned Dean. Sam's explanation was going over his head even though he was going at it as simple as possible. But at the same time, it made sense.... Ailments can be cured by their blood but that was in the dark, even with the lore. "Then.... what now? We feed him our blood and presto, he's a normal human again?"

"I don't know, Dean, but I doubt that it was a fluke," muttered Sam. "And also, I don't think we can let him go so soon if he develops signs of mental healing."

".... I had a feeling that you'd say that, Sammy," frowned Dean as he looked away. Great....

"But there's one thing that's aching me, though...." he said. "You gave him one of your silver knives, because you felt concerned of his safety even when we take him to Utah." Dean could feel the hazel-green eyes on him and he shuddered. "Why, Dean? Is.... there something on your mind about it? You're paranoid about the other purebloods?"

".... Yeah, that's it, Sammy," he answered reluctantly. "That's just it.... C'mon, let's go back to the cabin. I'm sure Cas'll set the stove on fire making soup." He turned to the house, but a large hand suddenly reached out and grasped him by the shoulder.

"Dean...." Sam pressed. His tone was firm but it was mostly full of concern and reassurance. "Please.... tell me, Dean. Don't put a wall between us if this involves Cas." Dean clenched his jaw and exhaled heavily. He didn't want to say it, but still....

"Sammy.... you killed Cas right in front of me," he admitted.

"Wh-what....?" gasped Sam, letting go of his brother's shoulder. "What are you talking about, Dean?"

"It was a fucked up nightmare I had.... Sam, it was terrible," Dean frowned grimly, turning back to him. His little brother's expression was shocked but that wasn't the worse thing yet. "We got captured by the others again.... I was tortured, worse than before. And I wasn't sure if you were still alive. I was in chains for days, and I was about to beg to see you...."

"What....? Dean, is that why--"

"Lucifer came to visit me, asking if I wanted to see you," he scoffed terribly. "And... you were just like him, looking as if you have enjoyed doing the same thing as he had done to you. And what was worse, you snitched to them that we sent away Cas to Utah and you had him in chains right before me. And.... you blamed me for what I did, that me kidnapping him led up to that. And that was when you...."

"...." Sam's reaction was torrential at his meaning. He stepped back and looked away, sadness and hurt were evident on his face as he huffed. "So.... I get brainwashed by my tormentor, giving in to my dark side, and kill Cas?" he questioned hesitantly.

".... Yeah...."

"How? Wh-what did I do to him, Dean?" he frowned.

"You ripped his throat out and drank his blood.... all because I didn't wanna join you," Dean muttered tensely. "And after that.... you crushed his neck with your foot. It wasn't you, Sammy, but it felt so real. You let the dark side in, and it warped your mind. You enjoyed the torture and the killing.... It felt like that it's only the matter of times before--"

"Is that why you gave Cas the knife?" muttered Sam, and Dean flinched in surprise. "In case that.... I will turn that way around him?"

"What? No, that's not it, Sam....!" he scoffed. "It's not that I don't trust you around him-- Who knows how low the others will stoop to get at us!"

"But, Dean, you forgot that I nearly lost it not long ago! I.... it only makes that you give him the knife to protect himself from _me_ , of all people," Sam sighed heavily as he looked at him. "I wouldn't hate you for that...."

"But, Sammy.... I just don't want that to happen, that's all," Dean frowned miserably.

".... I know that," nodded Sam, walking up to him and patting him on the shoulder. "Just shit on another shit, like how you'd say, right?" Dean just nodded. That much was true, so much problems fallen on them that it was becoming so heavy on their shoulders. ".... For now.... let's grin and bear it, Dean. We'll look through the books again-- we might have to call Bobby for this, if this persists. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure...." The burden growing more and more within him, as Dean walked past him for the car. "Tell Cas that I'm going out to stock up on food and supplies. Can you grab my car keys for me, Sammy?"

"Of course," Sam sighed. He mustered up a small smile at him, but his older brother was still solemn about the dream. And who could blame him....? Once again, his rage was the center of attention, and he had to deal with it. He went back to the cabin and stepped in, where he saw Castiel watching the television. But the priest was staring unblinkingly at the small screen, as if his widened eyes were absorbing the information.

"Cas, how are you feeling?" he asked and Castiel blinked out of his distraction.

"Oh, uh.... I feel.... better, I suppose," he mumbled.

"That's good to hear...." he nodded. "Dean suggested that he'll go to town instead, since he drank his last bag," he said. "Is there anything you want from out there?"

"I don't know what I want.... Dean mentioned that he could cook a hamburger, I wouldn't mind eating some," he shrugged and Sam smiled at that, a genuine one at least.

"Great, I'll tell him. Just sit tight, all right?" he smiled lightly, as he went upstairs. As he did so, Castiel blinked and looked at his right palm. It was strange.... His hand looked and felt all right but for some reason, there was a gnawing feeling in the back of his head. And what was more alarming was that dream he had. It was another memory, he was sure of it....

But _why_ was he dreaming? He felt more scared than happy that he was having it. And once again.... the vampire brothers were behind it, he was definitely sure of that.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review.

I'll update ASAP!


	19. Blut and Lieben

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 19- Blut und Lieben**

"...." His neck, and his shoulder.... even his thigh.... The scars were all gone. Sitting on the closed toilet seat in just his underwear, Castiel assessed his body. It was absolutely nothing there on his leg, the skin was as if there wasn't an infected wound at all. He touched and prodded it. No pain, not even a hint of soreness. He frowned.... This wasn't right at all, he was truly sure of it.

What Sam had told him, even though it was reassuring, it was downright suspicious. Breathing deeply, he stood up and took off the boxers before putting on the shower. As he stepped into the steaming hot water, he wondered what the brothers downstairs were thinking. A few hours earlier, they were hovering over him like overly concerned parents, and it was surprisingly scary to see them like that. But at the same time... Once again, they were hiding something from him, and he didn't like it.

Especially Dean.... The older vampire was so distraught for him, yet at the same time he seemed rather afraid to be near him, let alone to look at him. But why, though....? It doesn't make any sense at all for him.... He nearly jolted out of his thoughts when he suddenly heard the soft squeak of the doorknob turning. The daft barely had a chance to drift in when the door opened then closed within a few seconds. He peeked out of the plastic curtain, and noticed the folded towel as well as new clothes for him.

"...." Castiel just hurried up with his washing, then stood under the shower for another moment. ".... I should ask," he muttered, but then again he felt like he had said something like that before. Strange....

He took off the water and dried himself off with the towel. He was having a sense of deja vu over this but he wasn't sure why. The usual outfit of T-shirt and jeans fitted him well, as he then stepped out of the bathroom. That was when an alluring smell of cooked beef and spices suddenly assaulted his nose. What was that....? It smelled so.... good.... He quickly noticed the sounds of sizzling meat and blinked.

Right, he realized that he suggested about eating homemade burgers earlier. The thought of it made him smile a little, despite of today. With a deep breath, Castiel went downstairs. Sam seemed to be waiting for him to come down as he was pacing in the kitchen, but paused when he saw the priest. "Hey.... do you feel any better, Cas?" he smiled lightly.

"Um...." Castiel's eyes, still absorbing the vividness of his surroundings, wandered to Dean working on the stove. The older vampire's back was turned to him but he seemed to stiffen now that Castiel was around. "I'm.... I'm fine, Sam, thank you," he answered.

"Are you sure, Cas? You could rest if you're up to it--"

"I really am fine, honestly," he nodded, looking at Dean again. "So, um.... You really are making food for me, Dean...." he commented when he stepped closer. Dean seemed to nearly flinch by the priest's words. But two seconds later, the vampire turned his head with the biggest grin on his face.

"You think I was joking, Cas? I'm practically a barbecue master," he smirked. Castiel blinked at that. His smile seemed genuine enough, but his voice.... it didn't sound happy or even relieved. Maybe he was still worried about him having another dream, that could be it.

".... Okay then," he nodded, moving to sit down. Sam plopped down as well, and the priest couldn't help looking at him across the table. He had never noticed the moles on his face and neck, or that his eyes seemed to have more brown and even grey than green unlike Dean's green-gold eyes. His skin seemed to be a tad fairer than his own, revealing the veins in his sinewy arms.

".... Cas?"

"Huh? Y-yes....?" Castiel stammered and glanced up at the concerned vampire.

"You were zoning out for a second there," he stated. "What's wrong?"

"I, uh, I'm probably getting hungry by the smell of the burgers, that's all," he fibbed. Sam stared at him for a second but smiled and nodded in agreement.

"It's been a while since I've eaten some," he shrugged.

"You'll.... eat with me?" asked Castiel.

"I'm practically the oddest vamp in existence in terms of food," he replied. "According to Bobby, I was probably the only kid with fangs that likes to eat broccoli. Dean just likes to gorge on junk food if given the chance."

"Huh, I.... I can't imagine that," he frowned, remembering the grimace on Dean's face when he ate that sandwich.

"Yeah.... You seemed to know a lot about us vamps now, Cas," Sam changed the subject but he smiled lightly when the priest felt alarmed on it. "Don't worry, we'd end up explaining shit to you one way or another.... We're weak against silver like Dean had said, that's our own true vulnerability. Almost everything else are just fiction. Actually, food-wise, garlic doesn't do anything to us."

"Really?"

"It just smells gross to us because of our sensitive noses, but for some reason Dean could eat onions like it's nothing," he huffed lightly. "And the old 'stake through the heart' or decapitation or being set on fire? That could kill us but obviously that could kill humans as well."

".... I guess that's true, Sam," he sighed heavily. Guess the warning of knowing too much in the beginning seemed pointless now. But it made him think about other attributes about vampires, wondering what separates the facts from the imaginations.

"Meal time!" Dean announced much too happily, holding three plates with big juicy burgers. Castiel blinked at the sight of the open-faced cheeseburger with lettuce and sliced tomatoes placed before him. He looked up to notice Sam being given a simple one and the older vampire's own burger appeared more dressed with bacon and rings of onion.

".... Mine's naked," frowned Sam.

"Be glad that I even bothered to make you one," snorted Dean when he sat next to him. "It's your B-day, after all, Sammy." Sam frowned at him but shrugged it off as he picked his up and began to eat. ".... Cas? You go and eat, unless you wanna say grace first," Dean said with a grin, and Castiel blinked at that. It was a joke, he realized that, but the vampire's tone still seemed off.

"Oh, okay...." nodded Castiel. He reluctantly picked up his food and took a bite. Well.... it _was_ delicious, he could admit to that. Barely a chance after swallowing, he took two more bites before realizing that a pair of eyes was glued to him. But the moment he looked up, Dean quickly glanced away and took a chomp of his own food. There was no grimace or disgust in his expression, his food looked just as delicious but he didn't seem to be visibly enjoying it.

"So.... Everything's all right with the meal, Cas?" Sam smiled lightly.

"Yeah.... it's quite good," nodded Castiel, glancing over at Dean who was still eating. But the vampire continued to look elsewhere. If the priest didn't find his behavior suspicious, he would have find the sight of Dean stuffing his cheeks amusing.

"I'm sure.... Right, Dean?" he addressed his brother.

".... Sure," Dean grunted with his mouth full. It seemed that Sam wanted to press, but he didn't as he resumed eating, and that made Castiel all the more suspicious. He wanted to say something about it, but the thought of it felt blank. He _should_ know something about this....

".... You should take the knife, Cas," muttered Sam, catching his attention. "I agreed with Dean. Just because a state is unoccupied to the purebloods, doesn't mean they won't control the other mixbloods there. Utah is truly safe but you can't be too careful...." With the way he had said it, it sounded sensible to the priest. But when Dean did it, it felt rather cryptic and he pretty much forced the weapon into his hands.

"I've never harmed anyone before, Sam," he muttered.

"You harmed me when I tried to make you a sandwich," he pointed out, but he huffed out a brief chuckle at the human's frowning reaction. "Well, that time was an understandable reaction.... Better safe than sorry, Cas." With that, the tall vampire pulled out the sheathed dagger from his jeans pocket and placed it before Castiel.

".... All right, then," he conceded and took it. He glanced at Dean again, but Dean simply got up to fetch beer from the fridge. Barely an eye contact since he came downstairs, and it felt strange to him. "There's.... something that I've been wondering about, however...." he muttered. Almost instantly, both brothers stiffened and Castiel couldn't help but flinch from their reaction. "I, uh, I was wondering why the other purebloods.... I mean, they left you two alive for a reason, judging from your family history. And.... about some deal?"

"Oh, right...." sighed Sam. He relaxed, but just barely as he glanced at his brother, who sat back down with two bottles of beer. Dean drank his bottle but didn't make eye contact to either of them. "It's rather complicated, Cas.... You're right, they could've killed us off. Hell, they could've back then when we were--"

"Sammy, c'mon, it's your birthday," Dean pointed out, a forced grin on his face. "No need to talk about the gloomy stuff. Let's enjoy the meal, and maybe tomorrow we'll all go out for a game of pool."

"W-wait...." Sam frowned at Dean in slight confusion, and Castiel couldn't help feeling surprised himself. "You want to.... take Cas out there for the night?" he asked.

".... Why not? We've been reclusive long enough," nodded Dean. "Plus, when's the last time both of us stepped out together? It should be fair." By Castiel's observation, Sam seemed unconvinced at the sudden suggestion, as the tall vampire frowned. But then a second later, he agreed with a nod.

"Where, Dean? You think the vamps here would care that we got a human around?" he questioned.

"I'll kick their asses if they got a problem with it," he shrugged. Then he finally glanced at Castiel, who felt a little startled by the intensely bright green-gold eyes on him. "Are you okay with that, Cas? Would you like to go out and shoot some 8-ball and whatnot?" he suggested.

"Uh...." He wasn't sure why, but Castiel felt a shudder throughout his body. The vampire's voice sounded.... so deep and husky, especially toward him. Had it always sounded like that....? It was so reassuring, and almost spellbinding that he felt like agreeing to what he had to say.

Why....?

".... Cas?" muttered Dean and the priest nearly flinched by his voice. "Cas, what's wrong?"

"I, uh.... Nothing, I just blanked out for a moment," he shook his head. "But, um.... yes, I would like to go out, Dean," he said, and Dean put up a relieved smile. It was a honest this time, although the vampire looked away a few seconds later.

"Awesome...." he sighed deeply, taking the last few bites of his burger. "You good with that, Sammy?"

".... Sure, Dean," nodded Sam. His body language was stiff, not wanting to fully agree with it from what Castiel could tell. But then why Sam was doing it for his brother, to take him-- a kidnapped person that was still considered missing-- to the public? Even though his appetite lessened, Castiel finished the rest of his meal. If the younger vampire was seemingly agreeing with Dean, then something wasn't right here....

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_What was this....? Was it his heartbeat going like that, so slow in an echoing manner....? Man, his head was throbbing so badly, he wished it would go away. But then again his eardrums were throbbing too.... He must have been waterboarded or something, because he kept coughing out the liquid from his throat. Only that the liquid had the bitter metallic taste of his own blood...._

_Why was he choking out on his blood? What happened....?_

_".... I'm so sorry.... Please don't die.... You can't leave me...."_

_That voice.... it sounded warbled, distorted. He could barely hear it, but it sounded like the voice was sobbing, almost hysterically. Was he going to die....? Should he die....? Maybe it was his time, if the voice would stop crying...._

_"Please.... I don't have anyone else.... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...."_

_The voice was crying for him, but why....? Was he worth being alive, for whom....? His heartbeat was thumping faster now, stronger by the second, but he didn't get it. Before he was slipping into the darkness, but soon his vision was coming back. Blurred at first.... It was an abysmal haze, but he noticed a form above him. The form was shaking him, he realized but what for....?_

_"P-please don't die.... It's all my fault.... If you die, I just can't..... Please...."_

_The voice was getting clear-- a young man sobbing. He could feel warm tears dropping on his face. He coughed again, clearing his throat of blood. Hands and arms were holding him close, and he could hear the erratic panicked heartbeats of the other. He didn't like this.... Someone crying for him when he knew that he wasn't worth it.... He barely blinked, but it was enough to see this person._

_The widened hazel-green eyes filled with endless tears, with fresh blood on his youthful face that was beginning to crust. His expression was full of sheer agony and grief as he whimpered. ".... D-Dean...." he sobbed. "Please come back.... I'm so sorry...."_

_".... S-S-Sammy...." he managed to croak out. He couldn't move but he felt it.... His throat was ripped apart, his larynx nearly damaged. His slowly healing injury was made with pure anger and hatred, yet he couldn't find himself blaming his little brother. "I-it's.... okay...." he rasped, his nostrils clogged from the gagging stench of his blood stained on his clothes and on the carpeted floor._

_"I'm sorry.... You tried to stop me and I just...." Sam coughed out an ugly sob and looked away. Right.... Dean's eyes flickered to the side, the Colt 1911 forgotten across the motel room floor. Ten seconds too late, and he would have heard the exploding sound of gunshot and found his only family's brain matters out of his skull. But now it was him on the floor, with Sam cradling him and he hated it._

_It would have been better if Sam had killed him. Then the guilt and the pain would just go away.... But then again the gun was there, Sam could still go with it if he had died. ".... S-sorry, Sammy," he mumbled weakly. "I failed y-y-you.... Shouldn't have left you alone...."_

_"No.... I can't be alone, I'm afraid," sniffled Sam. "It's all my fault.... I nearly killed you...."_

_"Well.... I-I don't mind if it's you, not some nameless hunter or another pureblood," he coughed. "This is m-my fault, baby bro.... You needed me and I f-fucked up...." That was right. Him being a sacrifice for his brother was his redemption.... It had always been that way throughout their lives anyway._

_"I don't care, Dean.... I can't go on if you have.... I just can't," sobbed Sam, his tears mixing with the blood but he didn't care as he held his brother close. "I'm cursed.... Dad was right all along." No.... Dean didn't want Sam to think like that, as he coughed._

_"S-s-same.... Guess I'm just as cursed, S-Sammy...." he muttered shakily, his arm felt as heavy as a 500-pound dumbbell when he lifted it and grasped at Sam's sleeve. "I won't leave y-you again, you understand that....?" Because the only way he **could** leave.... was the one who sniffled and nodded. "G-good.... J-just let me rest for a second then we'll clean up and l-leave here, okay....?"_

_It hurt to talk but his pain was the least of his concerns, as Sam seemed reluctant to let him go. ".... Dean...." he sniffled._

_"It'll be okay...." he mumbled, closing his eyes. At first, Sam panicked a little but Dean squeezed his arm in reassurance. "I'm not gonna leave you...." he muttered. The bloodloss made him so tired. "Won't let the others take you away.... I'll promise you that, Sammy...." Such a fragile promise, it can be easily broken but Dean didn't care at the moment. He just needed to make sure that Sam was safe and taken care of. That was more important than his life, as that was all he was good at._

Dean felt his guts churning uncomfortably and it wasn't from the burger earlier. He knew from his kind's history that humans ingesting a pureblood's blood would gain hyperawareness of their surroundings, nearly having a sixth sense if they were to drink a large amount. It explained why Castiel kept looking at him and Sam as if they were in a circus freak show. The widened sapphire eyes were on him the most and he didn't like it.

Right now, he was in Sam's office, skimming through the ancient-looking book about humans and of them being turned by the purebloods. Just consuming the bitter-tasting blood wasn't enough, according to the lore. It was an arduous process, but Hollywood movies weren't wrong about vampires having to drain the human's blood first before feeding them their own blood. But now.... Castiel seemed to notice that something was wrong with him but felt unsure of the reason.

The hypnosis worked well, but Dean wasn't sure if his blood had healed more than just the bite wounds. He gave him a small amount but was it significant enough to also heal this brain damage this priest had....?

"So.... Dracula is actually a myth?" Dean heard Castiel's surprised voice from downstairs.

"Well, Dracula in person was really a warrior prince from Romania, and his real name was Vlad Tepes," Sam explained to him. "Despite all of the hype, considering his violent times against the Ottoman Empire, Dracula was never really a vampire."

"Oh.... I actually feel so disappointed, pardon me...."

"Heh, that's okay. There's plenty of vamps who believe that he was one, almost like a Santa Clause of our kind...."

"Great, tell him about Dracula and his crazy ass...." grumbled Dean as he got up to grab another lore. He hid himself up here for a reason, as he wasn't good at conversing with Castiel at the moment. It was all the same, however. Vampire mythologies differed culture by culture and the closest thing to the modern-day one was based off some Irishman's fanfiction of a bloodthirsty prince. He paused at one section, mentioning the benefits of feeding on a vampire's blood.

It didn't specify what type of vampire but it mentioned that the blood was a 'magical potency as a result of dealing with the Devil'. Right, this tome was written when the humans thought the Earth was flat and Da Vinci was considered a nut job. Still, he read it, with the text saying that the blood will only work when the human was at Death's door. And only if the human was willing to condemn their soul in exchange for a longer life.

It sounded like another method of vampire turning, as Dean huffed heavily. "Great...." he scoffed.

"Hey...." The older vampire looked over and saw Sam stepping in. "How's the studying going, Dean?"

"Tch, an IKEA instruction manual makes more sense than this shit...." scoffed Dean then he frowned. "How's Cas....?"

"A little.... bewildered, he still thinks about the dream," nodded Sam, closing the door behind him. "He, uh, mentioned about his dad, he was in it aside from his mother."

"Really?" Dean was listening on and off to the conversation but tuned out most of it, but his younger brother sighed grimly. "What, Sammy?"

"Well, his dad wasn't there physically.... Cas told me that he passed away when he was young, he barely remembered him," he replied quietly. "He talked about wanting to be 'normal', being like the other kids. But his mother's over-protectiveness and religious influence seemed to stunt him in a way."

"Hmm, that explains his career choice," he muttered, settling the book onto the desk. "What else, Sam?"

"Nothing besides that.... He seemed to be looking around as if everything's in HD, not that we know," he shrugged. "He looked confused and looked like he wanted to ask me something.... But he didn't press on it."

"Hm...."

"So it did work.... The compulsion," nodded Sam, but he wasn't relieved and Dean expected that. "We won't know for sure if it was that effective.... Let's wait another night if he gets another dream."

"Fine...." Dean sighed as he nodded.

"So we're just going to ignore the fact that tomorrow we're taking our captive out for a simple pool game?" he frowned at him.

"Better than me sulking and you running back to Ruby like a whipped puppy," he clicked his tongue.

"Yeah, that's better...." Sam huffed in a sarcastic manner, moving to sit on the chair. "But, for the record, she forgave me for running out of her after you called me. I doubt she'd get fed up with us anytime soon...."

"Tch...." Dean scoffed under his breath. It was different from before but the same nonetheless, since that mixblood came back out of nowhere. And Sam knew how he felt about her, and was willing not to get back with her if Dean were to say so. But the older brother didn't want him to revert back and shut him out, and he reluctantly let him go back to that woman. As long as Sam was happy....

".... You love that girl?" he sighed, and Sam seemed taken aback by the sudden question.

"H-huh....? Um, well.... Maybe, I mean, we've been together for nearly two years," he replied but Dean frowned.

"But it's not the same...." he muttered. Sam knew what he was talking about, he frowned in sympathy and shook his head.

".... It was never your fault, Dean--"

"I should've waited, Sammy.... Sure, I would hafta deal with Dad's shit for a week longer, but I should've waited until after your interview for law school," he muttered. Again.... he was blaming himself, but it was true to him. "I don't give a fuck that Jess was a human, she made you _happy_ , I've never seen you so happy in my entire life.... And then that happened.... I have to live with that now. That's on me, Sammy...." Just her, she would've been alive if not for him.

".... I'm also at fault, Dean, I didn't even notice the signs coming up to it," Sam frowned sadly.

"But still--"

"There has been times that I wondered.... If I had dared to tell her _what_ I am, would she have loved me still?" he shook his head. "Humans and vampires being together for life, it's practically impossible, and we know that."

"But you were more like a human than a vamp, and I fucking supported that," Dean scoffed. "You needed a life away from Dad and the others. And the ring.... Why couldn't you just hate me for that, Sammy? Why can't you just admit it to me?" He had just turned thirty, but Sam sported his sad eyes at his brother and frowned.

".... For a guy who don't believe in God and faith, you let yourself suffer for my sake," he sighed softly. "You let me hurt you in any way possible.... because you think it's always your fault and you deserve it."

"Isn't it....?"

"You're my big brother, and yet you keep taking my sins like it's your own," he frowned. "Because you've been responsible for me for my entire life. If I do something wrong, then suddenly it's on you. But.... Can't you just let me take the brunt of my own problems, Dean?" Dean looked away, his frown tightened with a raw grimace. He didn't want to do that, letting Sam take the blame because he had seen the younger vampire hiding away from the world because of it.

After breaking up with Ruby the first time, Sam holed up in Bobby's house for several months, moping at the knowing fact of Dean being resentful of his relationship. Dean had gotten over that, but it didn't change the fact that Sam was seen as an 'abomination' or a 'monster' because he had killed indiscriminately. His only reason that he could never hate him, was that it would have given Sam a reason to kill himself if he had otherwise. Being turned away by his only blood could only break the younger vampire's heart and he didn't want that. Not again.

".... We'll take Cas out for the night and that's it, that should be good enough," he muttered gruffly. He had done it again, changing the subject when it was getting too much for him. Sam looked at him and sighed and nodded, he understood that.

"He'd still be suspicious, he already was after you suggested this outing," he sighed.

"Well, maybe he'll forget about it once we go out," he shrugged with a small but tight smile.

"Don't worry about it too much, Sammy, okay?"

".... Fine, I'll try...." muttered Sam.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

As much as they anticipated the possibility of Castiel dreaming again, it didn't happen overnight. The brothers seemed relieved of that but with Castiel still being overly aware of everything, they were on their toes as they got ready for this outing. The last time Castiel was taken out with all of them together, it was filled with fear and anger. And now Dean wanted to do this for him, in order to gain some trust with him. Sam was just as wary as Castiel of this impromptu outing, but for the most part he kept silent about it.

Given a borrowed jacket and baseball cap from Dean, Castiel was sitting in the back seat as the older vampire drove down the quiet highway. He blinked, the speeding surrounding was a blur of blackness, before looking at the spiky strands behind the car seat. Dean had been keeping his distance from the priest, and Castiel wasn't sure why. And this trip, suggested out of the blue, was just as suspicious. But he kept quiet about it.

Mainly because he was a bit happy that he was going to have some fun at whatever town they were going to. He knew what pool was-- hitting the white ball in order to hit the other balls with a stick, simple enough. But.... will this mean that Dean will talk to him? He seemed to crave for it, but that made him confused. Why does he want his attention all of the sudden?

".... Everything okay, Cas?" Sam spoke up, and Castiel flinched in surprise.

"Y-yes, I'm fine...."

"Okay, just that we're going to a bar," he sighed. "Not really much to do there, Cas...."

"I'll be all right, Sam," he nodded with reassurance, glancing over at Dean. The older vampire was silent during the drive, and it made Castiel uneasy. "Will.... you be able to teach me the basics of playing pool, Dean?" he asked him.

".... Sure, then maybe I'll teach you on the art of hustling," joked Dean, although with a lack a humor in his tone. "Unless of course, if your moral's against gambling, but it wouldn't hurt to have a skill to make extra cash in order to get back on your feet." Castiel blinked at that, but sighed.

"Okay then...."

"Yeah, that should fine, right?" nodded Dean, and Sam sighed heavily.

"Sure, Dean...." After that, the car fell into silence, and Castiel frowned. They were keeping something from him, and he knew it. The ride soon ended when the small town came into view, it was different from Whitefish but it was similar as Dean drove to one bar on the outskirt. The parking lot was just a flat dirt plot in front of the establishment. The older vampire parked the Impala on the far side then got out as did Sam.

"C'mon, Cas...." he nodded, opening the back door. Cas instantly complied and stepped out with ease, and for a second, he wondered why. His actions were usually hesitant and wary, but he was feeling as if this was normal to act like this. He didn't have a chance to think much of it, as he quickly followed after the brothers. As they stepped inside the bar, plenty of eyes were on them for a moment. Castiel couldn't tell as he was standing behind them but he noticed the sudden defensive stances before Sam let out a heavy exhale.

"Dean...." muttered the younger brother.

".... There's only a couple of them in here, anyway. They wouldn't dare to cause trouble...." mumbled Dean. When he turned to Cas, he put up a grin as he sighed. "You wanna try hitting the pool now while Sammy gets us a table, Emmanuel....?" he asked, and Castiel blinked at that. Right, they were going to use that alias on him.

"I.... I suppose..." he mumbled.

"Awesome," grinned Dean, leading him to the semi-occupied table. The priest didn't notice the subtle brief glare the older man was giving to a couple of male drifters across the bar. They won't cause any problem but he couldn't be too careful. "So.... You wanna know the basics or do you wanna watch and learn?" he asked him.

"Um, I'm sure that I would like to see it first...." nodded Cas, and Dean smirked.

"Good, I need to make some extra cash anyway," he chuckled. That made the human smile a bit, as if he knew that Dean was being sincere with his feelings at the moment. It almost made him feel empathetic with that, although he wasn't sure why. He stood and watched Dean conversing and betting with other players, before his crystal blue eyes looked over at a vacant table nearby where Sam had managed to get.

But the younger vampire's hardened gaze was elsewhere, and he couldn't help but followed it out of curiosity. Sam were staring at two men, dressed like drifters, by the counter. They seemed to be looking back, and his eyes slightly widened in surprise. The bar was dimly lit and the other people didn't really notice.... but he could tell that these two men had glowing eyes.

They were vampires.

His heart thumped with shock, he had never seen any one of the brothers' kind aside from Ruby. And to be out here.... He looked away, not wanting to think about it, and glanced over at Dean who already had a long stick in his hands. The vampire leaned down and angled the stick onto the green felt surface to shoot the white ball. He seemed happy.... mainly because he had hit most of the other balls into the holes. Dean was chuckling, muttering to the humans he was betting with before getting his winnings.

Dean didn't seem worried about the other vampires, but Castiel wasn't sure. He watched him for another game, which lasted a while longer, but by then he got the curious urge to look again. ".... Hey," Dean called out to him and he glanced up in surprise.

"Y-yes, Dean....?"

"We can try now if you want," he smiled lightly. He was holding another stick for him, and the priest blinked. "Hm, are you chickening out or something....?"

"No, um.... Thanks," he nodded, taking the stick. As he moved around the pool table, he stole a glance at Sam who by now had three bottles of beer on the table with an opened one in his hand. But the tall vampire was still looking ahead, his subtly glowing eyes on the vampires who might be mixbloods from what he was told. Sam had mentioned that he preferred not being around his own kind, especially when the others had knowledge of his violent past. Maybe he was on the lookout in case they would dare to provoke him and Dean. Then what would make the priest....?

"Okay, the basics...." sighed Dean, fixing the balls into a perfect triangle at one end of the table. "The simple eight-ball.... You hit and break the triangle first-- but you can't pocket the eight on that turn. The cue ball," he added, going to the other end and placed the white ball down, "can't hit the other balls twice once you strike. And obviously, you can't hit the ball off the table. Got that?"

"I think so," muttered Castiel though he frowned just the same.

"Heh, come here, I'll show you how to hold the stick right," he nodded. At first, the priest was hesitant-- finally-- but a second later, he found himself going to Dean's side willingly. The green-gold eyes on him appeared more vivid, apparently wary and concerned for a moment before Dean smiled a bit. "Look, tuck the smaller end of stick between your fingers loosely and hold the other end with your main hand," he demonstrated, the chalky tip close to the ball. "Try and see, Manny...."

"...." The nickname didn't bother Castiel, but when the vampire put his arms around him to show him properly, he couldn't help but freeze. Dean didn't directly touch him, yet Castiel could smell the woody natural musk on him, a faint mingling hint of alcohol and blood from drinking a few hours earlier was exhaling from his mouth. Dean was close to growing a beard, as the whiskers deftly scratched at the side of his forehead.

".... There...." sighed Dean and moved away to see him posing awkwardly over the table. "So.... you shoot the ball, Manny," he nodded.

"Oh. All right..." Castiel couldn't help but shudder under his gaze, and haphazardly struck the cue ball. The triangle separated a little, with one red ball wandering close to a corner pocket. "Hmm, not as easy as you had made it to be...." he muttered.

"Yeah, well, I've been doing this since I was fifteen but if Fast Eddie could teach Vincent, I could be a decent tutor to you," he smirked lightly.

"Who's Fast Eddie....?"

".... Better yet, I could just buy the DVD," he sighed at Castiel's innocent ignorance, before taking his turn. Without even trying, he hit half the balls that subsequently went into the pockets. Castiel seemed intrigued at his skill and smiled, and Dean caught it.

He should feel glad that Castiel was enjoying something for once. But the guilt settled over him. He wasn't sure if this was the real emotion the priest was having, or it was the after-effect of consuming his blood. It was the first ever time he had even done that, especially at his age, when the other purebloods had done such a thing plenty of times with their loyal servants for decades. He eyed Castiel when the human attempted to strike, only to hit a couple of balls and manage to get one into a pocket.

"Good shot," he remarked.

"R-really? Compared to you--"

"I was just as shitty when I started out, but it'll take time," he smiled lightly. Just as easily, he hit two more balls, striking the 8-ball into a center pocket. "Guess I won...." he chuckled. "That's the game, Manny.... You wanna play more, or what?"

"No, but it was an interesting experience," Castiel shook his head.

"Okay, but we'll stay a couple hours more," sighed Dean, taking the stick from him and placing them on the pool table. "And unless that they got ginger ale for you to sip on, I think you're outta luck."

"I don't mind...." Castiel glanced up as they walked to the table, briefly noticing the mixbloods talking to one another. But Dean, or even Sam wasn't aware of it as the younger brother smirked a bit.

"Regular beer.... and root beer, here," he said, handing Castiel his bottle when they sat down. "Maybe next time, we should find some real fun, Dean. Being in a shady bar's no Disneyland."

"Ha-hah, it's better than seeing the Grand Canyon or the World's Biggest Ball of Yarn for the umpteenth time," snorted Dean.

"The Grand Canyon? You've seen it?" asked Castiel.

\"Hasn't everyone?" he shrugged but the man merely blinked.

"I.... Aside from moving from Illinois, I've rarely left the state," he replied. "Vacation's never been in my vocabulary, I never saw the reason to go away for enjoyment."

"Oh...." Guilt was rising up again but for a different reason. "Me and Sammy bumbled around the country growing up, it would look like we took national landmarks for granted," Dean explained, opening his beer and took a few sip. "But I did go to the one place that was an once in a lifetime experience," he added with a fond smirk. "Remember when we crashed at the Big Apple for a couple of nights, Sammy?"

"You mean the night Dad chewed your ass for sneaking out to go to CBGB?" Sam chuckled a bit, before noticing confused look on Castiel's face. "It was an old underground club, pretty famous for rock stars. And the only reason Dean was able to go in was a little charm...."

"I needed to practice anyway with my compelling shit, I was a growing vamp," smiled Dean.

"He snuck into a club?" asked Castiel.

"Barely 16, chugging on hard liquor and throwing up everywhere," Sam huffed in amusement. "Of course.... it wasn't every day that a pureblooded teenager would stumble right in," he sighed, his face immediately went somber. Castiel blinked at that and frowned, wondering what he meant by that. ".... Like California, New York is unoccupied, but plenty of mixbloods live in the city. Back when half of Manhattan looked like Gotham, it was easy to blend in."

"That's why when Dad just stormed right in, like half the mowhawked pierced-up clubbers panicked because they knew what he was," grunted Dean, drinking some more. "He yelled at him for sneaking out, I yelled that I hated him. He said 'don't care that you hated me, it's my job to raise you and Sam right'.... It was one of those few times when he was sober...."

Castiel could tell that it was a somber interpretation of their father. As if they wanted to see him in a different light than just a drunk abuser who often neglected his children. ".... Did you have fun, by any chance?" he lightened the subject, and Dean glanced at him.

".... It was a fucking blast," he smirked, a tight smile but a genuine one.

"That's good to know," smiled Castiel. He wasn't sure what was going on with himself, that he _wanted_ to cheer Dean up. But he felt like doing it as he smiled again. "Sometimes the best things can shine through the troubling times, Dean," he advised.

"Hm, and those are far and few in between, these days...." sighed Dean, and Sam frowned at that.

"But.... let's hope that you'll find something when we cross that bridge, Emmanuel," he smiled at Castiel with assurance. "Right? Cheers," he added, with a soft clink of his bottle against the other.

"Kampai, Manny," Dean muttered, following suit.

"Oh, okay...." The root beer was strong and sweet on his tongue but he drank it slowly. He should feel optimistic, but it wasn't long until his thoughts went back to the dream and the sense of forgetfulness. He wanted to ask but he had a strong feeling that he had done something like that before. Maybe.... if he could ask Sam for a private discussion away from Dean, then it should take away his misgivings....

"You two are the Winchester guys, right?"

Barely a few seconds in, Castiel found himself being grabbed by the shoulder before both of the brothers stood up instantly. The surrounding patrons looked up out of reflex, either wary or anticipation of a possible bar fight. The priest looked up and froze at the mixbloods' glowing eyes. Full of amusement, almost taunting, against the ones who can easily overpower them. Castiel had a strong feeling to move away, but couldn't by Dean's grip on him.

"..... Who wants to know?" rumbled Dean, his jaw clenched tightly to not reveal his fangs.

"Hey, I only wanna know if you're the infamous brothers the others had talked about--"

"We're not some carnival freaks you can gawk at, assholes, so leave us alone...." Dean threatened lowly. But the mixbloods weren't backing down, and it was making Castiel afraid. Afraid of Dean making a scene, of Sam losing it.... "Look, buddy, I don't know what your game is, but it looks like you and your friend here aren't the 'locals' in this state...." he muttered lowly, hush enough from the prying patrons to hear. "Whatever your business here, either you wanna move here or just passing through. Which is it?"

"We don't want any trouble, just that we had never seen purebloods before--" said the other guy.

"Again, we're not worth your attention, so go back whatever you came from," Dean gritted lowly. His stance was more protective than Sam's, standing right in front of Castiel who shuddered under his hold.

"You heard my brother. Leave...." Sam muttered, his face unreadable but the tone was filled with warning. Only then did the mixbloods look at him warily. They knew, yet they still didn't back down, almost like spiteful kids asking for trouble. And maybe they was, because of their reputation. Dean huffed loudly before lessening his hold on the priest.

"You know what....? We'll leave, because you pieces of shit aren't worth it," he muttered, as he then pulled him to his feet. "Let's go, guys...."

"C'mon, wait a minute--"

Almost instantly, Sam grabbed the hand that was about to reach for Dean. It was like the entire air went completely frozen, even the humans around them held their breaths with fear. Dean tensed as well, not knowing what will happen next. ".... Sammy...." he muttered quietly, his narrowed green-gold eyes glowed. "They're not worth it. Let's go to another town, another bar, all right....?"

"...." Sam exhaled through his nose, as if wanting to disobey, but reluctantly he let go. But he glared at the smirking mixblood, who soon dropped the expression. ".... Go mess with some other fucker," he muttered lowly. "As a matter of fact, go punch out your friend."

"Wha-- Sammy--" frowned Dean. But the hypnosis had already sunk in, when one of the vampires swung around to punch the other who flew into an occupied table. Within a few seconds, a few more patrons jumped, out of drunken reaction, before the brothers stepped away from the melee. "Shit....!" he scoffed with disbelief.

"Ah....!" Castiel was yanked behind the older vampire as they rushed out of the bar, vaguely aware of the shouting after them.

"Fucking damn it....!" scoffed Dean. He dragged Castiel to the car and opened the passenger door. "Sam, I can't believe you....!"

"They weren't their followers--" argued Sam.

"Followers or not, that was a dick move!" scoffed his brother, as they got into the car. "Geez, just one night to relax, and this shit happens!"

"All right, sorry!" he exhaled heavily. "But I could tell that they _wanted_ to mess with us--"

"Then we could've left it be and walked away, Sammy! That's usually your hippie shit!" Making sure that Castiel was seated safely behind him, he started the engine and the Impala ripped out of the parking lot. "Fuck me.... But, why though....?" he scoffed softly.

"Sorry, Dean, but I wasn't thinking-- I don't know, I was concerned that they would egg on us further especially with Cas here," huffed Sam. "I saw how they were looking at him, Dean...." Dean's frown deepened at that, as he drove out of the town and into the highway, and glanced over at Castiel. Clearly the priest was just as frightful of what had happened moments earlier.

".... Looking at him how?" he frowned.

"Not sure, either as food or.... maybe they thought you and Cas were, you know...." Dean's glowing eyes seemed to intensify at that, and growled lowly. Sexuality was seen differently in their kind, more open to the topic compared to the humans, but it didn't mean that people wouldn't look down on it. Even their father didn't approve of Dean's preference, he didn't hide his contempt whenever Dean would be 'friendly' toward the same sex.

"Tch, makes sense, since he's wearing one of my jackets," he clicked his tongue. "My scent all over him.... The way I had him close to me. Either those assholes wanted to rile me up for being with a guy, or they were thinking about what it's like be a pureblood's bottom bitch or something. It doesn't mean that you hafta go kicking asses for my sake, Sammy."

"Technically, I didn't back at the bar," he sighed.

"Whatever...." Dean looked at Castiel once again. The priest seemed to have calmed down, but he appeared worried over what had happened. "Well, tonight was a doozy, Cas, but we can try again tomorrow night if you wanna," he reassured him. But Castiel shook his head. Barely a few hours out and already it didn't go as according to plan.

"It was nice but.... I don't think so...." he muttered. He couldn't see Dean's grim expression at his answer, but he wouldn't know as he wrapped himself with the jacket. The warm woody smell was strong in the burlap fabric and he sighed deeply. For some reason, he had felt safe.... As long as Dean was nearby. "I'm sorry, Dean...."

"Nah, it happens...." sighed Dean, though he sounded grim. "It'll get better, Cas. Trust me." As if trust will ever makes sense to him now.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The sapphire eyes opened wide, the vision absorbed the darkness of the living room. Just waking like that, Castiel felt uncomfortable as he sighed deeply. Mostly because he had a dreamless sleep again. This had been the third night in the row, after that startling memory he had. But he hadn't had another one since. He sat up, twisting the bedsheets in his hands and frowned.

He had attempted to speak to Sam about what he was feeling, but Dean was often nearby whenever he tried. And trying to go around it was just as hard, because the brothers would instantly change the subject. And Dean.... he seemed to be making him not to worry, trying to force home-cooked food on him and Castiel often found himself not turning it down.

He looked around, hearing nothing before glancing at the clock on the cable box. Nearly five in the morning. Even though his appetite lessened a bit this past week, he felt hungry again and sighed. Getting off the makeshift bed, Castiel went to the kitchen to make a sandwich. But he paused when he heard muffled sounds outside. He rarely heard of animals near the cabin aside from chittering birds, but this sounded like metallic tinkering and low buzz of classic rock.

He wondered if Dean was outside. The vampire was always near yet kept his distance since the bar incident, whenever he wasn't stuffing burgers down the priest's throat he would work on his car instead. But that meant.... Sam should be awake by now, Castiel could do it now. "...." Quietly, he walked to the staircase and went upstairs. He hadn't heard any noises from either the office or Sam's bedroom, so he politely but softly knocked on both doors.

"S-Sam....?" he muttered. "Are you in there....?"

There was no answer, although he peeked into the office just in case. So Sam wasn't home.... The one time he wanted to speak to him. Castiel frowned at that as he went back downstairs. Just as he put on the lights, the noises outside immediately ceased. It appeared that Dean was aware that he was awake, as the door unlocked and opened.

".... Hey," Dean smiled lightly. "Something the matter, Cas?"

"Oh.... no, Dean, I just woke up hungry," nodded Castiel and the vampire blinked at that.

"Hm, a bit early for breakfast," he joked.

"Sorry...."

"Tch, it's all right," Dean sighed, closing the door as he yawned. "So what you want, eggs benedict or some Grand Slam Winchester-style?"

"Oh, I was just going make a sandwich, Dean, but thank you," Castiel shook his head. But Dean glanced at him with a raised eyebrow and sighed.

"You sure? I could manage with eggs and bacon before I hit the hay--"

"You've done enough and I thank you, but I feel like making food for myself right now," he replied. Not that he was ungrateful of the cooked food, but Castiel was beginning to feel something strange behind it. That the food was only a distraction from his true questionings. Dean seemed unconvinced, lingering close to the kitchen as he rubbed his grease-covered hands together.

"I.... I just don't mind, Cas," he muttered. "I mean, I'm used to baby Sam and make him eat and shit. It's just...."

"It's been a while, right....?" inquired Cas, and the vampire shrugged.

"Somewhat...."

"Since.... being here, correct?" he asked. Dean looked away and huffed in response. ".... May.... may I ask what had happened, Dean?" he asked quietly.

".... No, but not because I don't wanna out of petty shit," he sighed heavily. "It's pretty dark and gruesome, and it's best not to re-live it. Especially for Sammy...."

"You mean.... those other purebloods, they're the reason you are stuck here," frowned Cas. "I.... Well, Sam mentioned that they should have killed you off a long time ago at the chance, but why? Can you tell me the reason of them sparing you and Sam, Dean....?"

"...." Dean sighed heavily as he walked up to the priest. But he moved past him for the sink and washed his hands.

".... Hm, I understand, Dean, you don't have to say it," muttered Castiel.

"Yeah, I can't," mumbled Dean.

"No, I really understand.... I'm not sure how to explain it," he sighed. "To be honest, I've been finding myself agreeing to what you have to say, instead of pressing onto it. And I don't know why...."

Under the warm water, Dean froze mid-washing. So that was it.... His blood temporarily hindered Castiel's cognitive thinking, making him similar to one of those loyalists blindly devoted to the purebloods. But he had only done it once, and the effects was immediate as the human willingly accepted Sam's explanations and the silver blade. Not to mention that Castiel seemed more eager to talk to him when given a chance, unlike the usual hesitation.

".... Okay...." he muttered, trying not to reveal his wavering tone.

"And.... I haven't gotten any more dreams, but I've been feeling restless lately, like I might develop a headache if I don't sleep more," frowned Castiel. "You've noticed it, right, Dean?" Dean didn't say anything but he resumed washing his hands.

But he couldn't say.... If he mentioned it, then it would cause utter suspicion and Castiel would know. ".... Maybe we should get Zzz-quil or something to knock you out, huh?" he muttered.

"No, Dean, it feels more than just that. It's..... I don't know, Dean, I just don't like this feeling I have at all," he frowned tiredly. "Just.... I wish someone could tell me about it, or help me on this...."

".... Help you how, Cas?" sighed Dean, shaking the water off his hands as he glanced at him. "I mean, what's going on with you?" he asked, although he didn't want to answer what Castiel has to say. And Castiel seemed hesitant of telling him, as he wrung his wrist.

"How can I tell you, Dean? I have a good feeling that you would shrug it off," he sighed and Dean blinked at that. "And Sam, I knew that he have knowledge of what is going on, but.... He would never say it, not around you."

".... Is that right?" he questioned.

"Where is Sam, by the way? I want to talk to him, alone," Castiel muttered, looking at him. Dean felt his body tense up, it was like he was getting cornered again.

".... Sammy's out for a late-night buffet in the wilderness, he'll be back soon."

"Then I'd wish to talk to him," he requested.

"About what?"

"It'll be a private conversation, Dean. What would be the point of having a conversation with you, if I _know_ that you'll go against what I have to say?" he pointed out. Dean frowned at that, because he knew that Castiel was right. The priest has questions and it was getting difficult now that the blood inside him had mostly dissipated. ".... I'm sorry, Dean, but I prefer to speak to Sam. If he knows something--"

"What if I know something, Cas, you ever thought of that?"

"I bet you do...." Castiel nodded, moving for the fridge. The vampire bristled at his comment and scoffed against his better judgement.

"Last we tried to talk, it ended with a heated argument...." he huffed.

"And I don't want that repetition, so what can I do besides having this nagging feeling inside me?" he questioned. Dean just stood there, his Adam's apple wiggled in his dry throat. Castiel was pressing once again, and he didn't like it.

".... Just.... What is it, Cas? You can tell me," he muttered. "But you won't answer what I have to say, so what's the point?"

"But-- Don't you trust me, man?" he questioned without thinking. He nearly flinched when Castiel looked at him with surprise. "I mean.... Fine, I get it. The shits I've pulled on you, it'd make sense," he sighed tiredly.

"Dean--"

"It's okay, I.... I won't wait up on you or Sammy if you wanna talk to him," he shook his head as he turned to go upstairs, but he didn't expect Castiel to grasp at his arm. He froze, fighting not to wrench away as he took a deep breath. "C'mon, Cas...."

"I'm sorry, Dean, if I was being crass or disrespectful toward you," muttered Castiel. "If.... there's something wrong here, then you can tell me, and you should.... I'll listen to what you have to say."

"No, Cas.... you wanna speak to Sam because he's the more reasonable outta the two of us," he muttered. "I mean, you were convinced to take the silver knife when he said so, just...." He cannot say. It would just be a repeat like the last time, and then what....? Castiel moved his hand away but Dean didn't want to look at him.

"Dean.... I'm not trying to undermine you, if that's what you're thinking," said Castiel. "I.... I've already forgiven you for the things you've done--"

"But it's not enough. Sooner or later, you _won't_ be able to forgive me again," he scoffed softly. Castiel blinked at his words, wondering what he meant by that. But.... if Dean were to know something....

"Why.... do you punish yourself, Dean?" he questioned. Dean nearly stiffened, before turning to look at him. "..... All of these secrets, the past.... You're letting yourself suffer for no reason at all. And.... I do not like this at all, to see you in pain, even though you've been hiding it a lot lately."

".... It's that obvious, huh?" frowned Dean. Hunger forgotten, Castiel sat by the table and let out a deep sigh.

"I'll admit it.... This past week, my vision seemed more.... pronounced. And I've been smelling things that it made my nose itch. And the hunger, I've noticed that I'm eating more and it won't go away until I'm sated enough. And.... this wasn't the first time I felt like this.... and you and Sam knows...."

"...." Dean got the urge to bolt off, not wanting to speak to Castiel and he was doing it again. He gritted his teeth and crossed his arms, he wanted to look away but instead he narrowed his eyes at the priest. "If Sam wants to fill in the blanks then be my guest...." he huffed. "I already told you that whatever shit I got stuffed down, it's my business." But his words made Castiel worry for him. As a matter of fact, the human appeared sad by his stubbornness.

"But, it's just that....!" Castiel looked up at Dean, widened blue eyes on the stiffened vampire as he let out a frustrated sigh. "I cannot explain it fully but.... this past week, I found myself wanting to make you happy, whenever you weren't okay. I didn't wish to see you like that, Dean." Dean blinked at that. It made sense now, especially at the bar. Because Castiel was feeling empathy for him, all because of his blood....

".... You think I deserved to be happy, Cas?" he frowned.

"Doesn't anyone deserve so?" Castiel questioned him. "Why don't you think that you can't have such a thing? Because you're a vampire, or is there something else...?"

"And how could I be happy, Cas?" Dean scoffed. "What is there to be happy about? My brother's half-broken. My family's in shambles since my mother's death, my Dad drunk 24/7 up to his death while being afraid of the purebloods and Sammy. And us being alive.... we're on the clock, man, and my mistake right here in front of me is what keeping us back. But...."

"Dean...."

"You think I don't wanna be happy?" he huffed, shaking his head. "The only thing that keeps me going is that pain in ass little brother who doesn't want me to fail him. But that doesn't seem to make any difference at the moment. Not now, and certainly not back then." Castiel stared at him, the lingering feeling to understand was there. His inner thoughts telling him not to press further as it didn't end well before. And yet....

"It's about Lisa, that's what had happened," he stated, and Dean visibly flinched at that.

"Don't, Cas--"

"I can't help it, I feel like I _must_ know....!" sighed Castiel. "This woman was the reason why Sam had relapsed, that his behavior had gotten worse. And you paid the price for it, I could see it in your eyes, Dean. Something had happened between the two of you that you're still repenting over it--"

"Repent? Another fucking church word...." he scoffed defensively.

"Because it's true, Dean!"

"All right, just stop this, Cas!" he scowled. "Why.... do you wish to know? That it'll make me feel better, make you feel better? Delve down into my past that in the end it'll work out for me! When it won't, Cas, all right? Lisa.... I can never see her again or show my face! Because of what Sam had done....!"

"And what had he done, Dean....?!" Castiel pressed, but Dean let out a growl.

"What do you think? He killed.... he killed, that's all, and I failed at stopping him!" he scoffed with agitation. "I failed my little brother and there's no taking it back....! Is that what you wanted to hear, Cas?" The priest slumped at his bitter tone, feeling a faint hint of wanting to comfort him as he clenched the fists on his lap.

"Did he.... kill someone close to her, Dean?" he questioned hesitantly, and Dean's glowing eyes widened at that.

"No! Sam would never--" the vampire's expression contorted with shock, shaking his head as he took a step back. "It wasn't.... it was not like that, fuck...." he scoffed, his voice wavered a bit. "Just...." He clawed through his hair, stepping away from the priest but Castiel cautiously stood up.

"Dean--"

"It's my fucking fault.... I shouldn't had gotten so fucking angry with him," he huffed angrily, but the anger was on himself. "Me leaving him.... I left him because of her, over what he had done...." Dean leaned against the counter, not looking at Castiel as he gritted his teeth. "All of that.... led up to this, because I abandoned my little brother. That I'm paying the price because I was acting so selfish back then...."

"Dean, how was it your fault....?" Castiel frowned with absolute concern. "Please.... I want to understand...."

".... What the fuck is there to understand....?" he muttered, his lower back bumping the counter. His tone bitter with self-loathing when he suddenly slid down to the floor. "That I'm.... practically afraid of the day that he will snap completely and not come back.... Sammy's been slipping further and further down since then...."

"...." Castiel stared at him, not with pity but with absolute concern, as he hesitated to walk toward him.

"Heh.... I feel like a battered wife or something, that I couldn't leave him no matter how many times he shattered my jaw or busted my arms," he scoffed lowly, barely aware of the priest's surprised expression. "I tried to make it up for leaving him, trying to make sure that he was under control after he had lost it again. But it wasn't enough...." he muttered brokenly, rubbing at his throat. The pure unique scent of Castiel was close to him but he didn't bother to look up as he rubbed a hand over his face.

".... He wanted to die because of _me_ , is that what you wanted to know?"

".... What was that?" Castiel gasped softly.

"The constant hovering, not letting him leave my sight, Sammy thought it was his fault that I've left him in the first place," muttered the vampire, his jaw muscles tightened at the memory. "He believed that he had betrayed me over my shit with Lisa.... He considered himself to be a burden and that he was holding me back...." His eyes flickered up when Castiel got close. The priest crouched down to his level, the sapphire eyes were on him without any form of judgement.

"Did.... he talk to you about it....?" he muttered as calmly as he could. Dean stared back, his solemn expression seemed to age his face as he frowned deeply.

"Afterwards.... when he tried to put a bullet to his head," he said with a haunted tone, and Castiel nearly flinched at the admission.

"Wha.... wh-why....?" he breathed, voice barely audible but Dean heard it as he shook his head.

"Because of me.... I was running myself ragged trying to act like everything was fucking fine...." he mumbled. "I didn't even notice that he was hurting, I was watching him but I wasn't seeing what I was doing to him.... I mean.... I only wanted to see him happy, for him to smile again...."

"I--"

"Please...." Dean couldn't feel angry, he was more hurt about the memory as he gritted his sharp teeth. "You cannot understand it.... You can't say that I tried all I could.... when that wasn't good enough. I nearly had my brother killed, and in turn he nearly killed me.... His dark side took over for a moment and he ripped my throat out, and I.... I didn't mind if it was him, because I had deserved it."

"...."

"You think I'm talking crazy and I am but it's true.... Sammy had said it right to my face when I tried to wrestle the gun from him. That he couldn't deal with me anymore.... And I wished that I really had fucking died on that day...." The deeper he had gotten, the more brittle his voice was getting. "Guess I should've seen it coming that day.... Didn't need Sammy's darker side to point it out that it was my fault.... I shouldn't have taken him out for that weekend...."

"...." Castiel said nothing but he knew what he was talking about. Sam had mentioned in his confession.... Dean felt sorry for Jess' death, but the priest didn't think that he would feel responsible for it.

"Tch.... On that day, I was gonna fucking surprise him...." mumbled Dean, looking away. "Managed to score some tickets for a baseball game and wanted to tell him the good news and went back to our motel room.... Only to see him on the bed.... his shaky hand on the trigger like he was hesitating to do it. And I was glad to stop him, for at least a second, but.... He was crying, that he let me down over Lisa. He thought he didn't deserve to live....

"But I didn't care about that, I only told him that I will be by his side no matter what.... And that just made it worse, because it was then I saw the anger in his eyes. He said.... 'you're the reason that I have to suffer like this, you're the one who left me'...." Dean's throat felt so dry but he swallowed down the lump. "I, uh.... the next moment after that, a total blank.... I felt the pain across my throat, and the anger behind it. Maybe I've fought back, but knowing myself I probably didn't...."

"...."

".... Even if I did die on that day, you think there would've been a light at the end of the fucking tunnel, Cas?" he scoffed, shaking his head. "Fuck that.... My faith with your god burned down like that house all those years ago. It's nothing but shit.... I only managed to hold on because Sam stopped and realized what he had done. And I still said the same old shit... He could tear me apart and put me back together, and I would stay with him."

".... Why is that, Dean....?" Castiel muttered very quietly, his throat tightened as well.

".... It's my punishment, isn't it?" mumbled Dean, the glowing eyes flickered to the priest. "Deep down.... he truly blamed me for ruining his chance of a normal life. He will never admit to that, but with each rage, I let him take it out on me. Because I knew I was the one who killed Jess...."

"No, you didn't know what would have happened--"

"I'm punished regardless.... Sammy had loved her, truly loved her, and her life got snuffed out all because I wanted to hang out with my brother...." scoffed Dean.

".... I don't believe that, Dean," frowned Castiel. The vampire glanced at him with utter disbelief. "You see it as a form of penitence, but you've done more than enough to help your brother--"

"And each time, he's slipping away from me...."

"That's why you shouldn't be ashamed of what you've done--"

"Cut the shit, Cas," he huffed bitterly. "You have no siblings so what can you know about us....? I've let him down so many times in our entire lives, even the right things I've done had me feeling guilty just because I wasn't sure if Sam really appreciated it. It just eats me up...."

"But...." Castiel knew that he just couldn't say that everything will be okay. When will it be okay for these brothers....? Vampires or not, the way they had to endure had practically shattered their belief of faith. Slowly and carefully, he moved to sit beside him. Dean blinked at his actions, wondering what he was doing. But Castiel, with his knees close to his chest, just looked ahead with a rather pessimistic stare.

".... I understand that was only a part of the reason, Dean, but still it sounds like.... you cared about this Lisa person very much," sighed the priest.

"Yeah.... but that was ancient, and I had to keep moving on," muttered Dean.

"And yet you're not, Dean. Not really, when that was the catalyst of Sam's problems," Castiel pointed out. Dean found himself nodding, wondering why. He had only told half of the story but the human understood. Was it from the after-effects from his blood this past week, he wasn't sure. Maybe Castiel was sympathizing on his own, maybe not.

But.... Being so close to him with his unique scent wavering, it made his throat tighten with need. His blood must smell so good, possibly even better now, as he felt his fangs itching to come out. ".... What does it matter to you, Cas? You can't even be with a chick so you wouldn't know what it's like to have feelings for someone then call it off for good."

"I know that.... I always knew that I would end up alone myself so what's the point?" muttered Castiel, and Dean frowned in surprise at that.

"Humans are strange fuckers...." he huffed. "Nobody wants to be alone, Cas.... Feeling alone is the worse shit a vamp could have...."

"I appreciate that, but still.... Once I'm gone, I'll be on my own," Castiel shook his head. "It's been that way for over a decade. And it's going to stay that way for the rest of my life...." Now it was the vampire's turn to feel sympathetic, as Dean frowned tightly. He remembered what he had said to him after feeding on him, that no one would care that he was missing in his town. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Look, um, Cas.... I know that we mention that once we send you off, it'll be dust in the wind...." muttered Dean. "But.... it wouldn't help to make friends and such if you try, right?"

"Maybe...."

".... Just.... just trust us, okay? It'll be all right, Cas," he muttered tiredly. "I said that same shit with Sammy but.... I believe it's gonna be true for you." Castiel looked at him, his eyes squinted slightly to regard him.

"I'd think so, Dean, if I, um, pray for it," he shrugged.

"If you wanna--"

"Maybe if I can figure out why I'm feeling this way, then my departure would be at ease," said Cas, glancing at him again. Dean stiffened, he didn't wish to go over this again, not wanting to cause the priest some grief. ".... That's why I wanted to speak to Sam, I have a feeling that you will either get angry at me or ignore my grief about it if I were to go to you."

".... Sorry if I'm that shitty to you, Cas," he shook his head. The need to sleep was getting to him now, but Castiel's scent was stronger and he groaned softly. "Just..... You're still hungry, right? I could make you an egg sandwich or something," he mumbled.

"Dean, I'm capable of...." Castiel said, but Dean shut his eyes and sighed. "D-Dean....?" he muttered but Dean started to lull into a slumber, probably due to the stress that was getting to him.

"Hmm, what....?" he mumbled, his fangs in full view as his glowing eyes opened up. The other man noticed that and yet he wasn't afraid.

".... Never mind, you're tired, you should get some sleep in your room," sighed Castiel.

"Yeah, no.... I'd rather crash on the couch, it's too far," muttered Dean as he closed his eyes. His body relaxed completely, almost to a point that he slumped against the priest's shoulder.

"...." Castiel nearly flinched at the contact and his widened eyes looked at Dean. His head was knocked back with a fixed expression, although his arms lax over his lap. The priest wasn't sure if he should move away or rouse Dean up to go to bed. But he relaxed himself, inhaling the woody scent as he crossed his arms over his knees. Even in his sleep, Dean was still keeping his guard up. He wondered if he was that afraid of the other purebloods, feeling that paranoid for him and his brother.

He yawned quietly, finding himself closing his eyes. He relaxed more, his body leaning against Dean's. He would think that being this close to him would make him feel more wary but.... Right now, he felt more safe than before. Even as he drifted off into sleep, he didn't realize that his head was leaning over Dean's shoulder.

".... Safe...." he whispered sleepily. "Dean.... safe...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_"...." Dean was standing out of place, being surrounded by screaming kids with balloons and party hats and chattering mothers. Why shouldn't he be? This was a last-minute invitation since coming to this town, sporting only his dad's leather jacket and slightly torn jeans. He didn't really want to draw attention to himself, leaning against a fence while eating a small slice of chocolate cake. He wondered to himself why he bothered to come here._

_The majority of the people in the decorated backyard were humans, even though there was a good cluster of mixbloods living here. But Dean only wanted to meet her out of chance when he and Sam cruised through Indiana, simply suggesting to go into town just to rekindle the brief relationship he had over nine years before. Of course his little brother would roll his eyes at it but shrugged it off and went to sleep in their motel room as soon as they arrived._

_Watching the commotion through his sunglasses, he looked up in time to notice her conversing with another mother. Straight black hair and tan skin would have her mistaken for a Native American-- maybe a pureblooded forefather turned an Indian just for kicks, but Dean could care less as he watched her for a moment. She looked just like he had remembered her, knowing that she was 'bendy' during their tryst. But now.... He couldn't even think of going all the way to third base let alone the first one._

_Because of this one kid right next to him who was staring at him with absolute curiosity. The senses of mixbloods lessened compared to his own, as the brownish-hazel eyes merely squinted at him. The kid didn't want to socialize with the others at the party, but not because they were humans. It wasn't everyday that Dean was admired because of his status, and those were far and few growing up._

_He made a brief glance at the boy, and mentally frowned. Spiky cropped black hair, a chubby face, and an outfit that seemingly matched his own. Not to mention that he had a light dusting of freckles on his cheeks. "...." Dean tried to ignore the kid, stuffing his face with a few more bites of the cake._

_He had tried to do the math, repeatedly counting his fingers of when exactly the last time he had seen her.... They were in their late teens, a while after Dean had another tryst with that Rhonda girl and the pink panties incident a few states back. A mixblood being with a someone like him was a first for him, maybe he was overly excited for dating another vampire and didn't think it through._

_Which was why Dean was having a deep dread in his guts, because the kid was nine years old now since it was his birthday today. He wasn't sure if he was adding it up right, but at the same time he didn't want to ask. If his dad was alive, he'd probably berate him for being so stupid to slip up like that. Maybe he wasn't told once it happened just to spare his reputation as a pureblood, but he wasn't exactly Mr. Popular within their kind._

_So why did she invite him over instead of waiting the next day to meet him....? ".... Do you like the cake?" the kid piped up and Dean nearly stiffened but the sudden question._

_"Uh, yeah.... Your mom's a good baker," he shrugged._

_"She didn't make it. Bought it from some cake store," he frowned._

_"Still good...." Talking to the kid was awkward, he rarely knew any to make him feel calm. "So, um, you're one year older, how does that feel?"_

_"I'm just going to fourth grade, that's all," pouted the boy, his cheeks puffed up._

_"Well I knew that feeling...." sighed Dean._

_"What do you do?" he changed the subject, and the vampire frowned at that. "Do you got a job or something?"_

_".... I fix things, cars and shi-- I mean, I like keeping cars in shape, kinda like a mechanic," he muttered. But the kid seemed unimpressed as he squinted at him._

_"You're not rich?"_

_"Nope," he muttered._

_"Thought.... the purebloods, they're billionaires or something like that," he murmured, as if it was a secret. That made Dean frown with dislike. He could never get why his family was in destitute for as long as he could remember, he would think that there should be some inheritance from their ancestors that they knew of._

_"Doesn't matter, I'm good with just my car and my brother and my music," he sighed deeply, eating the rest of the dessert. "Don't think it's your style, but I could enjoy some AC/DC right now."_

_"What?! You like AC/DC....?!" the boy perked up and that made Dean looked at him in surprise._

_"You know about AC/DC, kiddo?" he questioned._

_"AC/DC kicks ass....!" he grinned happily. Dean couldn't help but smirk, albeit a little nervously. It was like looking at his younger self, and it was troubling him. Something wasn't right here...._

_"Ben, I heard that....!" came a reprimanded shout and the boy stiffened by that and pouted, before Dean looked up. His mother was walking up to him, she wasn't truly mad at him for the minor swear as she put on a sweet smile. "Dean, sorry to drop this on you like this--"_

_"Nah, it's okay...." grinned Dean. "Your kid kept looking at me like I got a lizard tail or something."_

_"Hm.... Ben, it's your party, go play with your friends," she suggested. Ben pouted again, but nodded and jogged off to the other children. She looked back at Dean who remembered the same teen girl he once liked. And he still did.... Just that him knowing that she had a son had barely sunk in after an hour. "You know, you didn't have to accept my offer of inviting you in, Dean," she sighed. "Ben's never this excited before--"_

_"No it's fine.... Lisa," he sighed with a small smile. He wanted to ask, he should ask-- he was a pureblood capable of dominance over the lesser vamps. But he respected her, and for the better part he was also concerned. She was a single mother after all, as he had noticed the visible family photos of only her and Ben when going through the house. No father, not even a boyfriend at all._

_"Well.... If it makes you feel any better, some of the ladies here find you cute," she joked lightly. "Of course they're all married so don't you dare, Dean."_

_"Tch, all of these little rugrats kinda ruined the temptation," he joked back with a smirk though it was a bit tight. "So.... what's going on with you?" Lisa smiled warmly, as if nothing was wrong. But something should be wrong.... at least for him. Being around the kid was making him more than anxious to even believe so. That there was a slim chance.... he had fucked up for real._

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review

I'll update ASAP!


	20. Heartbreaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story might last up to 30-32 chapters, I'm just guessing as of now

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 20- Heartbreaker**

If Sam could describe what he was seeing, he couldn't even put it in words. After coming home, he was far more than surprised to see Castiel and Dean on the kitchen floor. They were dead asleep, with the priest snuggled against Dean who in turn nuzzled into the dark tresses. "...." It had to be something more than that when his brother didn't even wake up when he stepped inside. His glowing eyes watched for a moment, not seeing any sign of bite marks or any of the sort on Castiel's neck.

But he frowned with concern, never had he seen Dean being so comfortable around anyone. ".... Dean, wake up," he muttered quietly, carefully walking up to the slouched form and crouching down. Dean tensed a bit in his sleep, before the younger brother reached out to shake his shoulder. "Dean...."

"Uhnn, five more minutes...." Dean grumbled sleepily.

"...." Sam made a face but moved to get Castiel instead. The sleeping human seemed more compliant in his hold, he barely stirred as Sam stood up and carried him to the couch. With animal blood sated him, Castiel's scent didn't bother him. Even the dark side didn't urge him for a taste. After settling the priest down, he went back to his brother. But instead of attempting to wake him up again, Sam sat next to him and sighed tiredly.

It had been nearly a week, wasn't it....? He had seen how Castiel was behaving, wanting to be at Dean's heel and being overly concerned for him. And he knew that the priest wanted to say something and wanted to talk to him without Dean around. Maybe he should have taken the opportunity, but he didn't wish to worry his brother about it.

It was like he couldn't do anything without Dean not knowing, and that was because it was true. Ever since that day.... "Hm, don't worry, girl, I don't mind the finger in there...." mumbled Dean.

"Wait a minute, wait....?" Sam huffed out in surprise, and in turn Dean flinched out of his sleep.

"Dean....?" "Hm, Sammy....?" Dean frowned tiredly, his glowing eyes blinking at him.

"Yeah, I got back a moment ago...." he muttered before frowning. "Before I ask about that weird sex dream you just had.... can I ask why you and Cas were sleeping on the kitchen floor?"

"Huh? Cas....?" Dean realized and looked around for Castiel.

"He's on the couch, I just put him there," he nodded.

"Oh...."

"So.... Care to tell me what was going on here, or am I going to be in the dark as usual, Dean?" muttered Sam and the older vampire stiffened at that. "It's kind of obvious, isn't it....? Cas wanted to say something, he was suspicious of anything we might've done to him. I don't think.... we can do this for long."

".... I guess so, Sammy," Dean nodded, sitting up straight as he rubbed his scruffy chin.

"So what is going on here? Both of you on the floor, I don't understand," he asked with concern. Dean glanced at him and let out a weary sigh.

"I'm still paying for it to this day, Sammy.... If I can go back in time--"

"Dean.... how many times do I have to say that everything's okay? You've done your best but you don't believe it," sighed Sam. "Is it.... What have you told Cas, I'd like to know. Please...."

".... I haven't.... told him the _whole_ truth, Sammy," he relented, glancing over at him. "I only told him about what happened afterwards.... About you falling off the reservation after me leaving you." Sam blinked at that. Instead of reacting terribly, he understood as he nodded.

"I'm sorry for that, too...." he muttered, glancing away.

"No, Sammy--"

"Sometimes I truly wish that you wouldn't see me as the innocent chubby little kid growing up.... I just want you to admit that my condition will eventually get worse, that I might not return from my madness." Sam let out a deep huff, standing up and patting his jeans. "Let's go get some sleep, Dean.... I'll pick things up with my research tonight, see if there's any.... leads," he muttered with uncertainty. Dean frowned but got up as well.

On borrowed time, Dean was right about that. They needed to find this deal fast, or the others will get suspicious. ".... You should try to talk to Cas about this, about what I did," muttered Dean, and his little brother glanced at him in slight surprise. "I'm not good at this, Sammy.... Every time I try to say something, I'd fuck up. I think.... it's best that he knows. It's the only way he can leave."

"Okay.... Okay, Dean," nodded Sam. "And then what....?"

"What do you mean?" muttered Dean.

"Maybe.... if it happened before, then we could attempt it again. We could and should help Cas on this...." he suggested. "If this works, and he gets healed up, then maybe.... it'll be easier to compel him, like you had wanted to from the start."

".... Well, um, I didn't expect you to think like that, Sammy," sighed Dean.

"If it's to protect him from the purebloods, then we should take the chance," nodded Sam as they went upstairs. "If you're against this--"

"It's not that, this is a lot to think about it though," he muttered. "Let's sleep on it, okay....?"

"Sure...." Two sets of footsteps echoed up the stairs, shuffling until the sounds soon ceased once the bedroom doors closed. The brothers weren't exactly aware that Castiel was awake during the last end of their conversation. The priest was laying still in the couch, but his eyes were partially opened after waking up to the brothers talking.

"...." What did they mean by healing up? He thought that his injuries were already healed up. So what were they talking about, of him being compelled....? One thing for sure, Sam wanted to talk to him instead of the other way around now. And to be honest, he was feeling anxious about it.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_The months spent at Bobby's house were partially a good thing, as the brothers were helping out their foster father with his true job. Dean with the mechanic knowledge and Sam occasionally helping with the paperwork. It was a coincidence that Bobby needed their help soon after the younger vampire broke up with Ruby.... Now that the man was wheelchair-bound after a vehicle accident. As stubborn as he was, Bobby didn't let his injury hinder him, it only made him grumpier than usual._

_The doctors were optimistic of him walking again but considering his age and being a functioning alcoholic, that would take a while longer. Of course Dean didn't mind helping out. But it was his little brother that he was much more concerned about. Sam was just going through the motions, cleaning the hunter's house and organizing the ancient books. But he wasn't talking much to anyone.... but he was certainly eating more like a human._

_Dean could joke that 'eating your feelings' was an understatement, but he was legitimately worried for him. Sam wasn't drinking enough blood, and stuffing his mouth with greasy food that the older brother would only be caught dead with could cause harm in him. Not only that.... aside from the spare gun tucked in Bobby's wheelchair, all the other weapons were hidden away from the tall vampire. After that last suicide attempt nobody was taking chance but Sam was much too morose to notice._

_Because of mostly consuming human food, he had gained plenty of weight, not caring of his own well-being. Not like the other vampires would care, except for Dean who was trying not to get frustrated over his brother's behavior. "Kid's practically a zombie, you try getting to him....?" Bobby muttered one day after breakfast. Sam inhaled three helpings of eggs and bacon before going down to the basement to sleep._

_".... I honestly don't know what to say," sighed Dean, clearing the dishes. "I've dumped plenty of partners, a couple of times I got dumped on, but I rarely dwelled on it. Sammy's too trusting, something that hell-bitch took advantage of right from the start," he muttered on that part, his jaw tightened at the brief thought of Ruby. "I mean, it was his first serious relationship after.... Jess.... He's taking it hard, Bobby, and I dunno how to cheer him up."_

_"And you think I'm a better substitute?" huffed Bobby as he scooted around on his squeaky wheelchair. "He's helping around the house, looking after my work, but that's just it. Sam won't talk unless asking if I'm doing okay or if the paperwork are correct. Hell, he barely leaves the house, let alone the entire property."_

_"I know...." The need to sleep was getting to Dean. He could afford to nap for four hours unless the disabled hunter needed him to tow a broken car. "But, can you blame him? With Ruby, he kept getting into trouble under my watch. And in one town the humans were becoming afraid of the 'animal attacks' so close by.... This is like our equivalent of him doping on heroin, right?" Stepping into the kitchen, he placed the dishes into the sink._

_"So you're just gonna let him turn into a chunky pile of vamp mush for now, Dean?" sighed Bobby. "I know that mixbloods can tolerate eating regular food. But.... this is no different than your daddy becoming dependent on alcohol." Dean frowned at that. The comparison was strange but Bobby got a point. The human food can turn toxic in his body if Sam doesn't drink enough blood to counter it._

_"I'll get him dosed up with more animal blood, that should be safe," he frowned tiredly._

_"I know a butcher shop that sells them discreetly, don't ask why," offered the hunter._

_"Thanks.... Let me check on Sam," nodded Dean, leaving the kitchen to go to the basement. The brothers had already hauled Bobby's bed to the study room since he was incapable of going upstairs, with Dean residing in the spare bedroom. But Sam resorted to sleep in the panic room, and Dean hated the way his brother was torturing himself. All because he was right about Ruby and Sam didn't believe it until the end. He opened the creaky metal door, seeing the large slumped form on the cot on the other side of the room._

_Sam didn't stir as he placed the chair next to him and sat down. ".... Sammy, can you wake up for a second?" he muttered, shaking his shoulder. Sam groaned a bit but didn't move. Weeks of munching on junk food made him sluggish, and Dean frowned at that. "Tch, damn it...." Dean pulled out a small switchblade from his back pocket. "You know what I'm here for, right....?" he muttered. Deftly, he nicked the palm of his hand, with the blood soon welling up._

_That alerted Sam, who lifted his head and looked over his shoulder. "Dean, what're you doing....?" he frowned._

_"Uh, you know you should take your medicine after eating, Sammy. Am I right?" he frowned back. Sam narrowed his eyes at him then at the tiny trickling of his blood, before turning his attention to the wall and huffed._

_"I'm fine...." he mumbled, his body curling up._

_"Oh yeah, fit as a fiddle," scoffed Dean. "Can't say for your jeans close to ripping from your expanding gut, Sammy...."_

_"...."_

_".... Me and Bobby are worried, all right? It's been, what, over three months, and you're eating yourself to death pretty literally," he sighed heavily. "You need to drink more blood--"_

_"I had more than enough when I was with **her**...." Sam grumbled bitterly. "You should be glad that I'm not terrorizing the humans like I'm some Frankenstein, Dean. Isn't that what you want?"_

_"Fuck, not like this," he scoffed at that. "Making yourself sick is not what I want, Sam."_

_"Then what....? I broke up with Ruby, you were right about her all that time," grumbled Sam. "Sorry if I'm not some sleazy womanizing perv like you so I would've known better from the start. Now leave me alone...."_

_Dean could only frown. He was angry then-- rightfully so, when that supposed bombshell fell on the brothers. But not directly at Sam. Toward him, he was more afraid of the possibility of him becoming a father while so close to unhinging. True, Dean ranted out his threat of sending the kid away if that were to happen, but at least it got through to his little brother. Ruby was gone for good, but it left Sam rather hollow to the world._

_"Shit...." Getting up, Dean walked over to the small table where Sam was doing his own research regarding their family line. "...." What was left of the Knight family, what hadn't been destroyed, the ancient documents were scattered and cryptic. He wasn't sure what Sam was trying get out of it, if there was any clue of the madness in all of the inbred members or if the paranoia was just all in their heads. But being it all in their heads was what started it in the first place._

_".... Sammy," he sighed heavily, he didn't want to argue as he turned to the cot. "You don't hafta drink the blood, not for yourself. But.... can't you at least do it for me, baby bro? You being like this, it means that I fucked up once again."_

_".... It wasn't your fault, Dean, you were right all along--" mumbled Sam._

_"But it doesn't mean that I wanna see you suffering over it," he scoffed. "I'd rather have you to nut up and move on, but.... you've always been different, Sammy.... Maybe.... if I have just waited--"_

_"I get it, Dean.... I'll drink some blood," came the younger vampire's harsh mutter. "Just let me sleep, please, Dean...." Dean stared at him, under the sheets Sam was shivering. Not because of the cold. Because he could smell the salty tang of tears from him._

_"Okay...." he nodded solemnly. "Sorry...." He left the panic room, feeling more irritated with himself. Maybe Sam was in the right of sulking. It wouldn't be fair that Dean should try to smack him out of it when he knew that would cause more harm than good. He doesn't want him to descend further that way...._

"Mac and cheese.... Hadn't had this since the Spice Girls were still the shit...." mumbled Dean, shaking the box dismissively. He tossed it into the grocery basket, which was full of the basic essentials. Having a human around made him feel a bit better food-wise. He had forgotten how most food tasted, even popping a cherry tomato into his mouth when his healthier brother wasn't looking at one time. While feeding Castiel, he had been eating a lot himself but the need to consume blood was under control.

Browsing through canned goods aisle through his sunglasses, he thought about that secret he had partially told Castiel yesterday. The priest hadn't mentioned it, probably out of respect, but he couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. He suggested that Sam should break the ice and tell the truth to him of what had actually happened. And in turn, Sam suggested about feeding Castiel more of his blood to heal the brain damage.

"...." Staring blankly at the canned spaghetti on the shelf, Dean thought of the possibility. If the hypnosis had worked at first, then he would have gone on without a second thought about it. But.... he felt himself getting too close to him now, and not because of his blood. No, it was more than just his blood. He had been feeling that he had to make it up to him since he had done him wrong. He and Sam could afford a very few friends that knew of their situation, and Castiel.... he couldn't be their friend, let alone a brief acquaintance.

He huffed softly, grabbing a couple of cans before moving on. Castiel went from an extremely frightened hostage and victim, to a concerned priestly man who seemed to have forgotten why he was there in the first place. After paying for the grocery, Dean got to his car, when he received a call from Sam. "Hm....? Hey, Sam, what's up?" he answered, getting into the driver's seat.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about waiting for you to come home but I decided to call you now," muttered Sam, and Dean blinked at that.

"About what, Cas?"

"No.... It's about Grandpa Henry, I think I just found a secret about him," he said.

"A secret? Really, Sammy?" he asked in surprise. "What kinda secret did he have, crossdressing or something like that?"

"Cute. No, we know that he associated himself with humans, right? And those human friends knew what he was, but not all of them were hunters. Remember, Henry was a scholar of sorts, and was trying to find a way for the vampires to co-exist with humans."

"So you think the non-hunter humans who were buddies with him tried to help out?" muttered Dean.

"If they're still alive to tell us then yeah," said Sam. "Maybe, I don't know, inquire them about it, Dean."

"But, they gotta be in their late 80s, and _if_ they still got memories of our grandfather," Dean frowned at that. "Alzheimer's a bitch. We might be outta luck on that one, Sammy."

".... Well, maybe not."

"What?" frowned the older vampire.

"This secret, Dean.... It might a long shot after two years of searching, that we might finally catch a break on this," muttered Sam. Still sitting, Dean frowned deeply in surprise. If his brother was right on this.... then it would mean that the purebloods would want to hear about this update.

".... Great, what is it?" he sighed.

"Well.... this group of guys Henry hanged around with, they were probably smart themselves," he replied. "They knew of the existence of vampires, and maybe with Henry's influence, they probably wanted to help their own kind as well."

"Like how?"

"Science, medicine, economy-- any other advancements. But.... they pretty much disbanded soon after Henry's murder, either going into hiding or the purebloods back then got ahold of them," Sam added rather grimly. "But the latter probably didn't happen, or else they would've told us."

"So those who are into hiding.... they might know something," nodded Dean. "So, how do we get them to talk, if we find any living ones? You think they'd believe us being Henry's grandkids?"

"It's worth the shot, Dean."

"Hmm.... If you think so," he sighed, starting his car. "These group of humans, who were they to him? They got a name, Sam?"

"It's pretty odd and eclectic, but yeah...." Sam muttered. "I thought it was a weird book club at first but--"

"Spit it out, man."

"Right.... They were once called the Men of Letters...."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Castiel tried to concentrate on his reading, but the fact that the two brothers were in the kitchen muttering to each other was very hard to ignore. Both of them haven't said much to him, but he knew why. Killing people after Dean leaving him, Sam would feel uneasy by the thought of the past. But Castiel was still uneasy himself. The mention of him being compelled last night.... Why would they want that to happen? He didn't like that.... But then again, the times of him feeling strange since his illness had passed, that was questionable.

".... About now....? I.... maybe before dinner...."

"It'll be fine, he'll get it...." Castiel caught some of their voices, and frowned. He was the center of their conversation, and he didn't like it. Sighing heavily, he put down his reading material and got up. Instantly, the brothers stopped talking, with Sam moving for the laptop that was left on the table. "Um...." muttered the priest.

"Dinner's almost ready, Padre, hold your horses," said Dean.

"Oh, okay...."

"You feeling okay, Cas?" asked Sam, as Castiel sat across from him.

"Yes, just feeling a little.... restless, that's all," he shrugged. "Either I'm down in the living room or in your office just reading. Guess you can say that I'm bored, per se."

"Heh, I suppose after that fun night you would feel antsy," he joked lightly. Castiel could only nod, not really sure what they were talking about earlier and wondered what were they going to say to him. "Hope you can stomach Dean's latest cuisine, at least he didn't put marshmallow fluff in it like when we were kids."

"Huh?"

"You loved it, you used to think it was exotic," smirked Dean as he made a dish for Castiel and placed it before him. This priest blinked at the sight of the macaroni pasta and cut up hot dog mixed with cheesy glue-like sauce. "And ketchup for spice or vegetable, whatever...." he joked as he placed the small bottle down.

"Uh, thank you....?" nodded Castiel.

"Okay, I'm just gonna be upstairs and take a quick nap," sighed Dean. "You don't want a plate yourself, Sammy?"

"No, I'm not the type who'll be puking in the toilet," the tall vampire shrugged. Dean simply smirked before going upstairs, leaving Castiel with Sam who was browsing on his laptop. Castiel began to eat, not sure what to think of the silence between them. Should he speak up now that Dean was gone....?

"Um--"

"Yeah?" Sam perked up and glanced at him. "Something on your mind, Cas?" he asked quietly.

"Is.... is it appropriate to ask you about this particular subject now?" he muttered with uncertainty and Sam blinked at that.

"About what....?"

"...."

".... Knowing my brother, who would act stubborn over certain topics, you can't go to him, right?" he nodded.

"It's that obvious," stated Castiel, it wasn't a question.

"Okay.... About what, Cas?" he asked.

"About.... my senses being, I don't know, I was feeling uncomfortable of it being somewhat enhanced," he shook his head. His voice was hushed, afraid that Dean might hear it, but Sam stared at him with slight interest.

"Yeah, I kind of noticed it a while back," he nodded.

"You have....?" he questioned with surprise.

"Is that the reason why you wanted to speak to me, Cas? I mean.... Dean told me what had happened yesterday," he sighed, and the priest blinked in surprise. "Those guys I've killed.... They were the worse ends of humans, shady robbers who were trying to jump me on my way back to my hotel room. But it didn't change the fact that I've killed anyway.... Dean didn't tell you that part?" he muttered when he noticed the priest's surprised expression.

"No, sorry...."

"Yeah, I get that," he sighed heavily.

"Knowing that, I understood your plight, Sam," nodded Castiel. "As a priest, I forgive your sins, Sam."

"Right, thanks...." said Sam. "But.... getting to the point. Your senses felt enhanced, right? Like, HD vision, eating like it's a buffet, that kind of thing?"

"Of course, plus.... I felt an odd closeness toward Dean recently, and I honestly don't get it," he muttered. That made Sam frown, as he closed his laptop.

"And.... you want the honest truth on it, right, Cas?" he asked with concern, and the priest blinked at that. "Listen.... what I got to say to you, it happened for the right reasons, okay? It was the best for your sake but I don't want you to hate me or Dean over it. But.... Cas, do you really wish to know what has been going on with you?"

The mushy dinner completely cold and forgotten, Castiel looked at his worried eyes, almost afraid to consent into it. ".... What happened exactly? To me?" he muttered quietly.

".... Just promise me that you'll understand, okay?" he nodded.

"I swear, Sam."

"Okay, here goes...."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Groaning in pain, Dean glared at his tormentor with utter contempt. Being tied down to a chair couldn't hinder his hatred toward him. As he hacked out a bloody spit, he scowled at the scrawny middle-aged man who was musing over his 'instruments' on a nearby table. The torture wasn't harsh but prolonged, making him agonize by the silver shallowly slicing his skin._

_"My oh my.... You're a very hard egg to crack, Dean Winchester," he spoke, his disgustingly nasal voice grated his ears. "Don't really know why the higher ups want you alive, when you and your brother are considered a nuisance. I mean, your bloodline-- sure it's damaged, but a pureblood's a pureblood after all."_

_"Fuck you, Alastair...." gritted Dean._

_"Still spitting fire, I see.... I can see why Lilith wants you around," grinned the man. "And a privilege of skinning you alive-- I find that exciting, don't you know that? I mean, Lucifer himself is doing the dirty deeds on your baby brother--"_

_"Where the fuck is Sam....?!" he snarled at him, one eye squinting from the blood trickling down his face. "Take me to him, you son of a bitch, or so help me--"_

_"Or so help you what? It's not like God will help you, Dean," Alastair chuckled amusingly, and Dean growled at that. "Just don't worry about his pretty little head, not when we want you to break and said yes, dear boy."_

_"I won't fucking give in to you fanged dicks! I wanna see my brother now!" he snarled angrily. But the wiry mixblood ignored him, picking up a clean scalpel. It glinted dimly under the dull light, as he admired the instrument for the moment. "I'll fucking kill you, you get that?!"_

_"No, I really don't, not when you're disabled for the moment," nodded Alastair, the cold grey eyes on the fuming pureblood as he turned to him. "Your powers, well.... it can diminish by the lack of blood feeding, not even your hypnosis can influence me. You can glare at me all you want but I won't falter. Isn't that fascinating, Mr. Winchester....?"_

_"You fucking-- Ahh! Ahh....!" Dean yelled out once the blade pressed against his cheek, the skin deftly ripping apart but the silver made it worse. Tears forming behind his tightly clenched eyes but he refused to cry. There was no way he would cave in like this._

_"Come on, Dean, you can just get off the rack if you just say yes--"_

_"F-f-fuck you....! I won't give in, you shit-mouth....!" gritted Dean._

_"Hm...." Alastair, eyeing him for the moment, before he stepped back. "If I continue to skin you there, I might get to the muscles and sinews, maybe right to the bones. Maybe you'll break then, but then again you'd probably still snap your fangs at me. Wouldn't you say....?"_

_"Ahh! Ah-ahhh!" Dean screamed in agony when the scalpel went deeper into the flesh. His own torture was practically tame compared to Sam's, when his younger brother was often stomped down and left to starve for hours at a time. But today was different. Maybe Michael was getting impatient and wanted Lilith's lackey to pressure him further. Alastair stopped slicing him, but the searing pain from the silver lingered as Dean growled it out._

_"Wh-where's.... my brother, you fucker....?!" he snarled lowly. "Where is he....?!"_

_"You're certainly a one-trick pony, huh....?" sighed the mixblood, going to the table for another torturing device. That was when the metal door creaked open, the silohuette of a young woman blocking out the blinding light._

_"That's enough, Alastair...."_

_"Hm, Mistress....? You're here?" mused Alastair at the sight of the sudden visitor. With blood dripping heavily from his wounded face, Dean glared up in time to see the woman stepping in alongside a couple of mixblooded servants hauling in a wheeled table. "I didn't expect you here, I assumed you were back in Maryland," he drawled._

_"I expected it for myself as well, but I've been hearing about this vermin resisting the punishment on him," she smiled, but the expression was dark as she turned to Dean. "It's been a while, Dean...."_

_"Go fuck yourself, you ugly hell-bitch....!" growled the injured vampire. With his good eye, he could see the blonde woman dressed in a white cocktail dress and a fur coat and her face caked with exquisite make-up. But Dean growled lowly, one eye glowing intensely at her._

_"Is that any way to treat a lady, Dean?" smiled the woman, her cold blue eyes glowing back._

_"Lady....? You're probably the only pureblood that got fangs in the vag-- Ughh...!" he groaned out when she walked up to him and stomped down on his foot with a stiletto heel. "You're a fucking bitch, Lilith....!" he scowled angrily._

_"Manners.... Have you changed your mind yet?"_

_"Let me think-- how about you go fuck yourself with a steel-barbed dildo! The answer's still no....!" he snapped at her. "Not until I see Sam, you fuckers....!"_

_"As expected.... Set it up," she ordered the mixbloods. They obeyed, wheeling the table before Dean who stiffened. He knew what they were doing, gritting his fanged teeth as the vampires opened up the laptop that was on it. "It's been, what, several hours since you last saw a footage? I'm sure your baby brother would like to know that you still care...."_

_"The fuck are you talking about....?" gritted Dean. But he wasn't answered when the video started, showing a form limply curled up on the dirty concrete floor. "N-no...." he gasped._

_Sam.... He was whimpering brokenly, with old blood and grime covering his ripped clothes. But fresh wounds could be seen on his face and arms, evident of a recent torture. The chain around his neck was suddenly tugged and he yelped out, followed by a dark amusing chuckle of the man standing over him. Dean knew who it was and an angered growl emitted from his throat._

_**"Say it, Sammy.... Don't get so stubborn about it,"** smirked Lucifer. **"You got something to say to your dear older brother....?"**_

_**".... I.... I'm s-sorry...."** whimpered Sam._

_**"Hm, sorry? For what?"** he mused, before suddenly swinging his foot to Sam's stomach. The younger vampire cried out in pain, making Dean taut against his restrains._

_"Sam....!" he growled, his voice teetering on panic. It was the same as before but it didn't matter to Dean who growled harshly. They wanted him to react like this, to want him to break by the sight of his brother being kicked by Lucifer._

_**"Stubbornness will get you killed one of these days, Sammy,"** laughed the devil-like vampire, yanking at the chain again. **"Can you tell me why you deserved a punishment like me beating your ass....?"**_

_**".... B-because.... I've killed so many...."** whimpered Sam._

_**"Is that right....?"** he smirked. **"I've dirtied my hands myself, I'd admit to that.... But you, who were this close of exposing our kind to the humans, it makes more sense to condemn you and your brother for this. But technically.... I'm doing this just for fun...."**_

_**"P-please...."** he whimpered painfully._

_**"Quit whining, you pathetic shit...."** Another sound of bone-crushing stomp and another scream made Dean growl in absolute ire. He glared at Lilith and her servants. Even with a mutilated face, he bared his sharp teeth at them._

_"Let me go....! Take me to my brother, you fuckers!" he snarled._

_"Tch, what do those Aligheri brothers even want to do with you?" sniffed Lilith. "If you want this to be over with, then say yes--"_

_"Over my dead body....!" he snarled._

_".... It won't be long until that time comes, right?" she smiled lightly. "Either you or your brother-- or maybe that other bastard your father spawned, right?" That made Dean stiffen in utter surprise. What was that? "Oh.... Michael didn't tell you, about that disgusting halfblood brother you and Sam have? The one who thought he wouldn't be noticed by us?"_

_".... I dunno what you're talking about--" he gritted._

_"Adam Milligan, son of some human who happens to work at a hospital that supplies blood to our kind?" Her laugh was light and lyrical, and Dean had the urge to throw up by the sound. "And we had sources that you contacted him some years back.... Sounded like a nice family reunion, wouldn't you say?"_

_"Leave him outta this, he's not like us--"_

_"But he shares the same bloodline like you, maybe he'll take up the slacks if one or both of you drop dead," Lilith smiled sweetly. Dean nearly faltered by the threat. He didn't want to wish this on Adam, even though it was his fault that he acted terrible toward his half-brother at first. Sam was right, the curse was on him as well. His attention turned back to the video where Sam retched up bile after another kick._

_**"I-I'm sorry.... Dean...."** whimpered the vampire. **"It's my fault.... I n-need to die, I should die...."**_

_**"Die? You're much more fun this way, Sammy,"** grinned Lucifer. **"I don't think Dean would be too happy about that."**_

_**".... I ruined him.... I-I ruined his life...."** Sam sobbed weakly, curling up as if that would block his tormentor's blows. **"It's because of me.... I deserve death...."** Sam's crippling plea was hurting Dean more than the pain on his face, as his expression fell. It was all the same.... The video suddenly cut off, the only sound in the room was the ragged growl from the older brother._

_".... Is he.... still alive?" he dreaded to ask._

_"The last time I was told," Lilith teased, and Dean glared up at her._

_".... Then the answer's still no, you fucking bitch...." he spat. "I won't stop asking for my brother, and I won't keel over to you fuckers.... Rip me apart, and I'll keep saying no, you got that, you old hag?"_

_Lilith said nothing on that insult. Instead, she gestured her servants to take the table away and they obeyed. ".... Continue, Alastair. For at least another five hours or so," she ordered as she turned to leave._

_"It'll be my pleasure, my Mistress...." nodded Alastair with creepy grin._

_"I'll see you soon, Dean. Hopefully you'll say yes before your precious brother is left rotting in his cell...." Dean glowered at her leaving, even as the door closed shut. He didn't glare away as the mixblood came into view with another scalpel._

_"You're more troublesome than most, Winchester, have you ever thought of that....?" he grinned._

_".... You have no fucking idea," Dean growled lowly._

The bedroom door quietly opened. Dean wasn't aware of it, as Castiel stepped in. The vampire was asleep, with headphones covering his ears, classic rock on full blast as usual. Castiel stood for a moment, until Sam stepped in as well and glanced at his brother. ".... You sure about this, Cas?" he muttered with worrisome.

"...." Castiel's expression was unreadable as he stared at Dean, his hand wringing together.

"Cas....?"

".... That was a lot to take in.... of what you've just told me, Sam," he mumbled with an even tone. "Dean.... he did that to me because...."

"At first, you were sick but then he did it again because you purposely cut your hand," nodded Sam. "I'm sorry but our powers.... Anyone would kill for our blood, if they were to know about it...."

"And you explaining it to me, is it still inside me....?"

"I don't even know, sorry...." he sighed. Castiel just nodded as he glanced at him, sapphire eyes dimmed at the knowledge.

"Please, Sam...." he suggested. Sam stared back but reluctantly nodded, as he stepped back.

".... All right, I'll be downstairs," he sighed deeply, turning to go back to the kitchen. "Just be careful with your words...."

"I know...." Closing the door, Castiel moved carefully toward the bed, but Dean hadn't stirred out of his sleep yet. He wasn't exactly sure what to do next, let alone what to say to him. He just stood there, staring at the dozing man before sighing deeply. Here goes nothing. ".... Dean...." he muttered, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

Almost instantly, Dean flinched from it and Castiel flinched away as well. "Ughh, Sammy, let me nap...." he mumbled, sleepily taking off his headphone.

"Dean, it's me...." sighed Castiel, and Dean immediately opened his eyes. They glowed in the dark room, taking in at the sight of the priest.

"Cas....? Wha.... Something wrong?" he muttered tiredly.

"I... think we need to talk, Dean. Something important...."

"Oh.... About what, exactly, Cas?" he sighed as he sat up. He glanced at Castiel again, and blinked at the weary look on his face. "You okay? The dinner ain't sitting right in your gut?"

"I'm fine, really...." nodded Castiel although he was wringing his hands together again. "Um, Dean, I need you to tell me the honest truth.... about this one thing."

"...." Dean's throat tightened at that instantly, dreading about this for real, as he then looked away. ".... Sam told you....?" he muttered quietly.

".... Yes," Castiel nodded.

"About the blood.... Me giving it to you to heal you up," he stated.

"Yes...."

".... I'm sorry, Cas, I thought--"

"Sam told what had happened, about me reacting terribly on the truth the first time around," Castiel replied softly. "And then somehow.... my memory was wiped clean of that event, from you to be exact." Dean didn't have a chance to reply before the priest suddenly moved to sit next to him.

".... I didn't think it was possible but that was a fluke, Cas," he sighed. "I.... I don't want you to hate me on that, when I was just trying to help--"

"I believe you on that, Dean...." he sighed tiredly. "So.... Now what?"

"H-huh?"

"Me being able to dream, to remember bits of my childhood memories.... There's more to it, right?" questioned Castiel as he looked at him. Dean pursed his lips in consideration, it was best to tell him that truth now.

"For a while now.... Sam had been speculating about you not being compelled by our powers, and the reason behind it," he nodded. "And it's about that time, when you bashed your head in that bike accident," he added and Castiel squinted his eyes at that.

"My injuries, back then.... You think something else happened to me, Dean?" he frowned.

"Not sure if those doctors missed it or what but.... Not being able to dream and bits of amnesia, it could be, well, some kinda brain damage you got there that nobody knows about," he explained. Castiel squinted at him again, regarding his words carefully before he glanced down at his lap.

".... That would explain a lot...." he sighed.

"It's just suspicion, Cas--"

"No, Dean.... You _might_ be onto something here...." he nodded. "It all makes sense now.... huh...." Dean frowned in slight confusion. He honestly expected Castiel to freak out like before but no.... The priest was calmly contemplating over the possibly of his mental damage.

"Back to the million-dollar question, so now what....?" he huffed, scrubbing over his face. "What do you wanna do about this, Cas?"

"The blood of a pureblooded vampire.... I would say that it should be miraculous, but to my faith...." he shrugged. "In the olden days, this should be considered as the work of the Devil. I'd consider it now, if I was like my former self when I was first brought here.... But...."

"Yeah....?"

"You think, I might condemn my soul for this, if I were to want to be healed that way?" he asked as he glanced at the vampire.

"Well, I dunno, Cas," sighed Dean. "I mean.... one time, Bobby got T-boned and was squeaking around on the wheelchair for a good several months. Never once thought about sipping on our blood like Oxycotin to patch himself up. 'Got too much pride for a hunter', he'd said.... You got pride of a different kind so I dunno about you."

"Well, pride is a two-way form of view although it can lead to sin, Dean, but...." The priest took a deep breath as he scratched through his hair. "After those two dreams.... I'm beginning to feel like I've been missing something out of my life, and I thought going to the path of God would help. But.... That must it, Dean. To be honest, I've felt like there was something wrong within me. For the longest time...."

"And....? You're afraid to give it a try?" Dean frowned in concern. Castiel bit his lip, he wasn't sure how to ask about being compelled again. Being forced to forget again, and the next time would be forgetting about the brothers themselves. "Tch, great time.... Just think it over, Cas, at least until we--"

"I wish to know more, Dean," he said, staring right into the glowing eyes. "I mean, I thought I knew what had happened in the bike accident but.... it was hazy afterwards for the next several weeks. The next thing I knew, me and my mother hastily moved out of Illinois and I have no idea why. I've never bothered to ask...."

"And you think this blank space of yours might get healed up if we do this?" nodded Dean.

"I'd like to know myself...." he admitted, although he felt uneasy about it. "Please, Dean...." Dean looked at him and then away, giving off a strong exhale.

"Should I do this to you, you better promise not to freak out, Cas," he muttered. "My blood's no grape-flavored children's medicine, that's for sure."

"I won't, Dean," Castiel agreed. Dean glanced at him again, before rolling up his sleeve as he breathed heavily.

"Okay...." he sighed. Curling his lips back, he bared his sharp teeth as he raised his wrist. "Here goes...." Castiel felt his heart jump when Dean chomped into his own flesh. His widened sapphire eyes were on the dark red blood trickling out before the vampire pulled away with a growl. ".... Here, Cas, drink it," he gritted softly.

"I...."

"Hurry up before the wound seals up, bud," Dean nodded. Castiel stared at the bloody wound close to his face and gulped. "Cas...."

"A-all right...." he nodded, hesitantly gripped the vampire's rough hand. His parted lips quivered as he felt them touch the ripped skin, as the thick bitter-tasting blood fell on his tongue. "Hmm....!" He resisted the urge to recoil. A part of him telling that this was wrong and sinful and that he should stop.

Dean seemed to sense it as well, but he didn't stop Castiel who made an uneasy gulp. It was a lot different than before, of forcing the priest to drink it but now.... His wound was already healing up when Castiel swallowed again. He frowned, he didn't expect any of this to go this way. ".... There. Enough, Cas," sighed Dean, pulling his wrist away.

"Ah....!" Castiel coughed out a bit, wiping the blood off his lips.

"Cas, you okay?" he frowned, patting his back.

"I'm..... Ugh...." he groaned, already feeling woozy as he leaned forward.

"Hey, take it easy.... You took a bit more than before," frowned Dean, holding him up as his glowing eyes stared for any immediate sign. "It's okay, Cas. You got the urge to throw up or something?"

"N-no...." he sighed heavily. "It's just.... it's like drinking down tar...."

"Well, that's one way to put it.... Lie back, Padre." The priest complied, not because of the blood inside him now. It was oddly soothing that Dean was rubbing his shoulder for a moment, before the vampire eventually got up. ".... Sammy, it's okay, I got it under control," he spoke at the closed door. Castiel glanced at him in surprise, before Sam opened the door and peeked in. "Sam--"

"So now what?" he muttered and Dean frowned.

"It hasn't been five minutes, Sam, hold your horses...." he sighed heavily.

"Sorry but we've never done this before," Sam frowned back. "Cas is basically our guinea pig at the moment and to do this...."

"I'm right here, you know," groaned Castiel. "This is my choice, Sam. After what you've told me.... It felt like this is tame compared to the other stories you two have told me. If this makes me.... remember more about that accident and makes me dream again, what will happen to me afterwards?" Both of the brothers were quiet, and that made Castiel frown with unease.

".... Well.... we won't know until we cross that bridge, Cas," sighed Dean. "Just rest, and when you're not feeling vertigo anymore, we'll talk. Is that all right with you, Cas?"

"Yeah, of course...." Castiel nodded. "Sorry...."

"Heh, everything will be fine," Dean smirked lightly as he left the room. "Just let me know if you're up for it, okay?"

"Sure...." The door closed, leaving the priest on the messy bed. He was starting to feel lethargic now from drinking the blood, like how patients are given painkillers in hospitals. He curled up a bit, inhaling the woody musk in the sheets. It smelled.... a bit different, somehow. Almost like he didn't mind the scent.... "Hmm...." Just as he was about to doze off, he felt a weird unsettling in his lower stomach.

Was it from the blood, that he was beginning to feel ill from it now? Castiel groaned a bit and curled up more.... Only to feel a slight hardening in his manhood. "Huh....?" His eyes widened in surprise and gasped. The last it had happened.... That was a dark time a while back. It doesn't make any sense to him. Dean's blood drinking made his body react sinfully before, but from drinking the vampire's own blood, it can do the same....?

He wanted to call out to Dean, but immediately he held his voice back. If he tells Dean about this, then the idea would be instantly called off and he would have no way of knowing if this will work fully. "...." He frowned in utter confusion, his fists clenching the bedsheets. Being sexually aroused against his will again, when from the start he devoted himself to his lord for life.

Simply because he had no attraction to girls growing up. Even being around modest woman doesn't do anything for him, but considering his religion it appeared becoming a priest was his only choice, but this.... Had he made a wrong choice on this? "I hope I'm not, Lord...." he muttered out loud, trying not to think about the arousal as he then mentally prayed.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Sipping from the transfusion bag, Dean sighed as he lounged back in the Impala's back seat. What had he done....? Feeding Cas his blood, so what will happen next? "Fuck...." he groaned softly, taking another sip. He needed to watch for any signs for the next few days and wait but that gave him discomfort over it. Maybe because it was a human he was doing this to, and not Sam. Of course, regular vampires drinking on a pureblood's blood was nothing short of a desired privilege.

But another pureblood drinking from him could only work so far for Sam. Speaking of which, his little brother had called up Bobby a while ago. This Men of Letters thing, he jokingly thought it sounded like a C-rated boy band, but seriously it made him concerned about the possibility of this being a part of the deal. The others no doubt will want to know more if they were to go them now. And right now they couldn't, as they got the priest on the mend again.

"Dean...." Dean glanced up in time to see the other vampire knocking on the window.

"So.... What we got, Bobby found something about them?" he asked, sitting up before he exited the car.

"Hmm, he said that he'll look into it but...." Sam nodded with a frown.

"But....? I've always hated that word," Dean scoffed.

"Considering that Henry used to control Illinois.... and the others got that state under their control since his death, he's not so sure if he could waltz right in and ask for the information," he sighed.

"Fuck me...." scoffed the older vampire before Sam glanced at him.

".... So.... are you going to check up on Cas now or what?" he asked

"Just.... gimme a minute, it's not everyday you feed your blood to a human who might freak out over dreaming about unicorns that shit rainbows," sighed Dean.

"Yeah, I got that," he agreed. "But.... are you really considering on that?"

"On what?"

"Compelling him, you know, into forgetting us before letting him go...." he pointed out. Dean frowned then looked away, not really sure what to think of that part. ".... Do you really want to do that, Dean?"

"To be fucking honest, I really don't know, Sammy," he shook his head. "One hand I kidnapped him because he couldn't be compelled, but him hunkering down with us for well over a month...."

"You're getting too relaxed around him, that's what you're saying," noted Sam and his brother looked at him in slight surprise. "It's.... probably our instincts kicking up, after over two years of solitude. Even though he's human, his company is affecting our nature. Almost like--"

"Damn it, Sammy," Dean huffed but it wasn't out of annoyance. "He.... he couldn't be our friend, not after what I've done. Even with the holier-than-thou forgiveness, I just can't.... I shouldn't be close to him. We can't afford to, anyway. A kidnapped priest obviously sounds like a good chance of our asses handed over to us."

"Yeah...." sighed Sam. "But, at the same time, we're helping him, Dean. Whether we compel him or not, Cas is going to be a whole different person...."

"Yeah, I know," he nodded, finishing the bag. "Maybe, I dunno.... If I keep doing this, Cas won't be the same guy, like you said. And we both know that he's gonna follow me around like an awkward-looking duckling for the next week or so. I fucking hate it...."

"Then.... is it possibly that I can help on this, Dean?" Sam suggested. "I mean.... if I want to.... give him my blood?" He hesitated on that part, and Dean noticed.

".... Everyone thinks you got the tail end of the curse. As far as they're concerned, your blood is considered 'tainted' courtesy of our _Deliverance_ ancestors," he frowned. "Not that I'm turning down your suggestion, Sammy, but you yourself rarely use your talents. At least when you're like Bruce Banner hiding away from the world...."

"Yeah, that's true, I get that...." nodded Sam. "Come to think of it, I'd find it just as awkward if I do it and Cas follows me around instead."

"Tch, the one chance of having a guy on your ass, that does kinda sound funny," Dean smirked a bit. Sam huffed out a chuckle and shook his head.

"Sorry for being straight," he shrugged.

"Heh, more fun for me...." he nodded before frowning a bit. "Wish that under a different circumstance, if Cas was a regular joe.... I could risk it further, though...." Sam understood that with a nod.

"His new ID card is coming in a couple of days, then we'll go to step 3, or 4 or whichever now that we're doing the blood thing to him," he said.

"Sounds about right," he shrugged as they went back to the cabin. "Come tomorrow and if Cas is topside after his acid trip, then I'll do it again. And if he's willing to go through with it again...."

"Let's hope so, Dean...." nodded Sam with concern in his voice.

"Hey, I can help with this Men of Letters mumbo-jumbo if you want me to," offered Dean and his little brother smiled lightly at his suggestion.

"Good to know, but it's bits and pieces, I can't make much of it," he said.

"Better than the other shit, Sammy...."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_"...." Castiel blinked tiredly as his vision slowly cleared, after what felt like a restful sleep. Was that how Dean's blood worked at first, to make him sleepy? It must be the after-effect, seeing that he had felt tired after the first two times. Right.... "Hmm.... Dean.... Dean, I...." he mumbled when he sat up.... only to realize that soft sunlight was coming through. "Huh....? Dean--" He glanced up, and gasped._

_He wasn't in the vampire's bedroom._

_Castiel looked around, his widened eyes taking in his surrounding. "What.... in the Lord's name....?" he gasped softly. This was his old church, from when he was little.... The same stained glass windows, the embellished altar and podium. Even the mahogany wood pews were just as before, when he realized that he was sitting in the first row. He glanced down, blinking in absolute shock that he was in his priestly garb._

_"Wh-what....?" He touched the fabric to see if it was real, even the little gold cross was secured over his chest. "Wha.... this can't be right...." he gasped softly, standing up. Looking around, Castiel felt a little afraid. He had never told the brothers the exact cathedral he was connected to, and it couldn't be possible that they sent him to his hometown looking like this. He was supposed to go to Utah under a new pseudonym...._

_So what was going on here....?_

_In the empty church, he flinched when he suddenly heard a weak sobbing. It sounded like a child, he realized as he looked around again. "H-hello....? Is someone here?" he called out hesitantly. "My child, where are you? I can help you if you're hurt or scared--"_

_"Y-you can't help me...."_

_Castiel heard the weeping child's voice echoing close by, right behind him. He whirled around to look down the aisle.... but he saw no one. What was going on here?_

_"Please.... where are you? I'm a priest, my child.... Helping is what I do," he called out again._

_".... No.... Nobody can help me...."_

_The voice was behind him again, and Castiel hesitated for a moment, afraid of not seeing what was there. But slowly, he turned and sighed deeply in relief of seeing a small shadow on the steps up to the altar. "My child, I--" he sighed as he turned around fully. But when his sapphire blue eyes fell on the form, he felt his heart stop._

_No.... this couldn't be right.... This child, this boy.... It looked just like him._

_There was just no way.... The boy couldn't be no more than ten with messy black-brown hair like his own. And he was dressed like one of the altar servers, a white tunic over a bright red cassock. He had worn something like that, he remembered.... But this doesn't make any sense at all. ".... My child, please talk to me," he placated, calmly walking up to him. "Is there something wrong? Where is your mother....?"_

_".... Mom's not here, she can't help me," he whimpered._

_"Then what is the matter....?"_

_"Ah.... My head hurts, i-it hurts so bad," whimpered the boy, his teary eyes clenched tightly as he grasped through his hair. "It won't stop, and I'm s-s-so scared...."_

_"Well.... maybe, if you can stop crying, then the pain will stop," Castiel assured but the boy shook his head._

_"It won't stop.... it won't...." he sobbed softly. "I'm scared.... I'm scared...."_

_"Scared of what? Please, I can help you--"_

_"No one can help me...." the boy sobbed, more tears came. "It's just.... I'm so scared.... because it was so wrong...."_

_Wrong? Castiel frowned in confusion, wondering what he was talking about. ".... What was wrong....?" he muttered, crouching to his level. "Can you please tell me....?"_

_"W-wrong....?" The boy looked up, and Cas just stared. This child.... he **was** him, staring at the wide eyes that were the same color as his. "It was wrong.... I don't like it, it was so wrong.... and disgusting..."_

_"Di.... disgusting....?" Castiel frowned. That word.... hadn't he said something like that before....?_

_"Disgusting..... It was so wrong and disgusting...." the boy sobbed again, his fingers curled tighter in his hair as he shook his head. "S-stop....! Just stop....!"_

_"Wait a minute, tell me what's wrong--" frowned the priest when he reached for his shoulder. But the boy version of him suddenly recoiled from his touch, falling back on the steps as the eyes stared at him in absolute fright._

_"D-don't....!" he cried, his voice terrified and Castiel gasped. But the boy wasn't looking right at him, just past him and more tears came. "Don't do it....! I-I don't want this....!" he sobbed hysterically as he attempted to move away._

_"Don't want what....?" he gasped, he was beginning to feel the fear in himself now. The boy was himself, and he could feel his own heart thumping wildly. He gasped again and fell to his knees, the tears stung his eyes. "Please.... you must tell me...." he panted. Why was he feeling this way....? Was it.... because of the blood, that this was a part of his forgotten memories? But what does this mean to him, and why was this hurting him....?_

_"Ah....!" Castiel tensed when a sudden dull pain throbbed in the back of his head. He winced, what was this....?_

_"P-please.... don't, so wrong and disgusting...."_

_"What....? Please tell me what happened....!" gasped Castiel. Why the pain was increasing so much? "Wh-what had happened to you....?!"_

_"N-nobody can help me....!" sobbed the boy. "All alone.... nobody wants me...."_

_"Wh-what....?! Come on, tell me....!" Castiel cried out, reaching out for him again._

_"N-no....! No....!"_

"Ahh....!" His body flailing, Castiel suddenly stumbled off the bed and fell hard, hitting the dresser against his arm. "Ahh....!" he cried out in pain but his body didn't have a chance to crumble when a pair of arms held him up. "No! No....!" he cried, reacting with a shove against a rock-solid chest.

"Cas! Cas! It's me, snap outta it....!" Castiel winced by the gruff voice and gasped out. His body struggled against the hold but the grip on him tightened. "Castiel, _wake up_....!"

"Ah....!" The frightened eyes snapped wide open, as Castiel gasped sharply for breath.

"It's okay, Cas, it's all right. You just had one hell of a nightmare...."

"De.... Dean....?" he breathed. He took in the glowing green-gold eyes on him, and almost instantly his body relaxed. "Dean...." he panted.

"Lemme guess, Freddy came clawing in on you, huh?" nodded Dean but the joke fell as he frowned in concern. "C'mon, let's get you back on the bed," he muttered as he got the priest to his feet.

"B-but...." Castiel looked at him again. His vision.... In the dark room, he could see Dean as clear as day. "Wait, let me sit please...."

"Sure, Padre...."

"Dean...." Sam was standing stiff in the doorway. His glowing eyes were wide and alert when Castiel glanced up at him. "So he really did have another dream...." he muttered in disbelief.

"Yeah, you think....?" frowned Dean but he blinked when the scent of fear was rising up. "Cas....?" he muttered and Castiel shuddered by the address.

".... I...." Castiel didn't have a chance to respond as he felt warm tears trickling down his cheeks. Dean stared in realization, it looked like the priest was getting into shock.

"Holy fuck.... Cas, snap outta it," he gasped, grasping at his shoulders. "It was a memory, wasn't it? C'mon, look at me--"

"Wha-- N-no, I can't....!" Castiel shook his head. "Wait, Dean....! Don't compel me, please....!"

"Ah, all right, all right," Dean nodded in surprise and backed off. The feared scent was still lingering, and both brothers could hear his heartbeats thumping fast. Whatever dream Castiel had, they can't question it, not now. "So.... Pleasant dream you had, huh?" Dean broke the ice, and Sam huffed in annoyance.

"Really, Dean....?" he frowned.

"What can I say, Sammy? I'm just as freaked out as Cas here," he huffed back. "A human chugging on a pureblood's blood-- This is the first time I've done such a thing."

"Just.... Come on, Dean, calm down," nodded Sam. "Whatever happened in Cas' head.... let's wait on it, okay?" Dean just frowned, before glancing down at Castiel who was rubbing his forehead in distress.

".... Need some water, Cas?" he sighed and Castiel nodded.

"Just give me a moment...." he muttered, wiping away the tears. The pain, the fear.... It felt so real that it actually scared him. It was like a nightmare like Dean had assumed earlier. "I'm sorry, I.... I just don't know what to say about it, it just feels...."

"Fucked up?" frowned Dean.

"In your terms, yeah," muttered Castiel. The tears kept coming as he was still shaken by the dream.

"Was it that bad, Cas?" Sam frowned in concern. "Considering your profession, it might've been something terrible, or what, like biblical related. Something like that?"

".... No, it wasn't like that but...." the priest shook his head. "It felt.... personal, in a way." Dean raised an eyebrow at that and looked at his brother whose own eyebrows knitted with confusion.

"Okay.... Take a breather, Cas, I'll give you some water and leave you alone for a sec--" nodded Dean as he turned to leave.

"N-no...." Castiel looked up at him earnestly. The fear was still there, but it lessened when he fidgeted a little. "Can.... can you, um, stay for a while, please?" he suggested.

"Um...." Dean made an awkward glance at Sam then back at Castiel. He understood the concern but to be alone with him.... "Okay....? If you really wanna...." he shrugged.

"Please...."

".... Okay," nodded the older vampire. "Sammy, it's all right. Dawn's about to pop up soon and you need to get some shut-eyes after your research."

"Hm, okay, Dean," Sam muttered in relief. "Let me know, okay....?"

"Sure, right...." With his brother leaving the room and closing the door, Dean let out a deep sigh. "Fuck...."

".... I'm so sorry, Dean--" mumbled Castiel.

"Hey, bud, that's all right," Dean nodded with a slight smirk. But he was truly worried, he had expected this to happen anyway but to see Castiel shaken up for real was disturbing enough. "Let's see.... You'll live, Cas, it's just only one nightmare you've experienced," he said as he sat next to him. "That's a lot better than what I've been getting since knowing A is for apples, that's for sure...."

"Oh.... I'm still sorry, I haven't felt this intense before."

"Hmm.... We don't have to do it if you don't wanna," sighed Dean. "Me giving you blood shouldn't be like this, Cas. Are you still freaking out on it....?"

"Yes, Dean...." Castiel frowned, but he took a deep breath as he looked up at him. The tears finally gone. "But.... I must venture on and pray.... I have to brace and endure for the dangers ahead, right?"

"Right, Cas.... You kinda sound like Denzel Washington in that apocalypse movie," he smirked lightly. "He was carrying around a bible for some reason but I lost interest halfway through that one day."

".... Thanks a lot, Dean," nodded Castiel. He finally relaxed, the fear dissipated as he scratched through his hair. "To show appreciation like this, it should be considered an absolute sin. But like I said.... if this is fate, then I should go with the flow and do this. Am I right on that?"

"Damn.... Never realized how weird you are at the moment," he sighed. "Okay.... now that you're stabilized or whatever, you should go back to sleep--" Dean suddenly stiffened when the priest leaned against him, close to placing his head on his shoulder. "Hm, Cas....?"

"I.... can't help it," Castiel apologized. "Is this how your blood works? To feel this particular closeness toward you....?" Dean frowned, not sure how to respond to it. He was a vampire yet at the same time being sheltered in the human world for most of his life made him rather stunted around his own kind.

"So.... what do you want me to do about it?" he muttered.

"I don't know.... I just wish to feel safe around you at the moment, if that's okay," Castiel sighed tiredly. Dean blinked at that, then relaxed a bit. He had already fed, but the scent of Castiel was almost mouth-watering. It smelled so intense, probably enhanced by the vampire blood in his body like before.

But.... his concern for the human was much greater than his hunger. And he wanted to hate it, he had already warned himself and Sam that he shouldn't be close to Castiel. Whatever nightmare he had, it was probably tame compared to the one he had over a week ago. Maybe that was a warning, that him being this way would cause more harm than good....

".... Cas, I--" he mumbled but he heard the priest breathing softly and evenly. "Fell asleep.... Awesome...." he sighed. He couldn't fully move away, but gingerly he wrapped his arm around his shoulders. "You're really something, Cas...." he mumbled, patting his hair. "Feels like this will get deeper than any of us expected, believe me...."

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Read and review.

I'll update ASAP!


	21. Let It Bleed

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 21- Let It Bleed**

"Here.... Not sure if this will work but it's better than nothing," nodded Sam, handing the headache medicine bottle to Castiel who gratefully took it. Despite Dean's reassurance over last night's event, the nightmare he had was making him rattled even after waking up. The nightmare he had yet to mention to them. Sam, generally used to his human habits, was already up when the priest woke. Still clad in a plain T-shirt and pajama pants, the tall vampire sat across from him in the kitchen, watching tiredly at him downing a pill.

".... I'd think the blood would help instantly, but it seemed that it was proven otherwise," he muttered as he then gulped down some water.

"Well, nutrition-wise, blood isn't that great for humans," nodded Sam. "Unless it depends on the animal species, like horses or cows."

"I suppose...." sighed Castiel. He went to sleep again soon after that nightmare but he hadn't dreamed the second time that night. As soon as he woke up, it was in the mid-afternoon. He was curled up on Dean's bed, with the other man reclined next to him with his arms crossed over his chest in his own slumber. For a moment, he found himself not wanting to leave his side. His wide eyes taking in what little light available in the bedroom at the sight of Dean's face.

His expression was tensed and guarded, with his plump lips tightened with a frown. Castiel had stared some more, before hunger and a slight headache reminded him to leave the bedroom. That was when him shuffling around the kitchen caught Sam's attention. "Is.... is it any better, Cas? I mean, how're you feeling right now?"

"Besides the absolute hunger at the moment...." Castiel sighed. "Pretty worn out. Like I don't like this hyper-sensitive feeling coursing inside me.... Even in this dark cabin, my eyes feel irritated by it."

"Yeah, try having that 24/7 after hitting puberty," Sam smiled lightly before frowning. "And... the dream, you remembered what happened in it?"

".... Yes," sighed Castiel. The mention of it had his hand twitching to touch the back of his head. It was like he could feel the actual pain there and he wasn't sure why. Sam didn't press further on it, he just nodded and stood up.

"When you're ready...." he sighed as he moved for the stairs. "I'll go back to sleep then...."

"Okay.... But, Sam....?" Castiel muttered and the younger vampire paused to look at him.

"Yeah, Cas?"

"Um...." The priest hesitated, not wanting to mention about that conversation he had heard between him and Dean. He didn't want to give them problems and have them stopping this experiment. ".... Never mind, it's nothing important," he shook his head. Sam gazed at him for a moment then let it go as he resumed to go upstairs.

"Okay...."

Now that he was left alone, Cas got up and moved around to eat make sandwiches. He made three servings worth, stuffed with cold cuts and cheese and other dressings. How he was able to consume the meal without feeling painfully full or sick, he believed it had to do with Dean's blood inside him. "Hmm...." he sighed, rubbing his goosebumped arms. He wanted to go back upstairs, to lie in Dean's bed once again. But this feelings.... it should be immoral, for wanting to be so close to the vampire.

He kept forgetting that he was a prisoner here. And yet.... the shells on Dean were cracking away, revealing bits and pieces of his true self. The only thing that was stopping it was that story with Lisa. He must have loved her to the point that it had driven a wedge between the close brothers. Or maybe it was something else.... As he stayed by the table, he thought about the unsettling feeling inside him last night just before falling asleep.

He shouldn't be aroused, he just couldn't feel aroused like that, even toward a man like Dean. He had rarely ever felt sexual toward anyone before, so why his body reacted like that....? It certainly wasn't normal considering that the last few times happened when he was around that vampire and they were unpleasant. But still.... he didn't want to bring that up as well, at least not yet, until he could make sense of his memories.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_"Hey, so what's going on with you, Sammy....? Hitting the books like the brainy nerd that you are?" chuckled Dean over the phone, as he gazed out the dirty window._

_"Tch, so what? Sorry I don't like going to frat parties and chugging straight from kegs, Dean," Sam replied, his tone full of amusement and relief. Days were nothing but a blur for the older brother. The first year without Sam was strange to him, even though he was able to visit him when given the chance. Dean looked out the window again, his eyes gazing at the dim street lights now that it's late into the evening. "So, what's up, Dean? Is there something wrong?" asked Sam._

_".... Just bored, Sammy," he sighed. "Got nothing to do in this dumbass town, even the bars here close early. Just, I dunno, wanted to talk to you."_

_"Oh, sure...." Sam understood._

_"Well.... not sure what to talk about, that's the problem," Dean attempted to laugh it off, but it failed. It didn't matter to Sam, who made an understanding sound._

_"You'll see me in a couple of months, Dean, when summer break starts," muttered Sam. "Are you going to be at Bobby's?"_

_"Maybe.... Not gonna stay there for long, though...." nodded Dean._

_"Hmm.... Are you okay, Dean?" his brother asked quietly._

_"Huh?"_

_"The reason you're calling me.... Is there something else that's going on, over there....?" he muttered with concern. Dean frowned, before his glowing eyes looked around. Another foreclosed house he was residing in, with litter of old newspapers and empty liquor bottles and beer cans scattered around what supposed to be a living room. "Dean...?"_

_"Sorry, I, uh.... Guess I'm tired. Managed to get a 'day' job, heh...." he shrugged. "Needed something to do, plus the extra cash doesn't hurt."_

_"Oh...." Dean knew that dejected sound, and what it meant. The scattered cans and bottles were obvious in his sight, part of it was from him but the alcohol helped his boredom. Somewhat. "Well.... Hope you're doing okay, Dean. If you're having trouble, just say the word," Sam said._

_".... No, no trouble, Sammy, I'm just strapped for cash," he assured. "You just hang in there, college boy. You can't let that fancy scholarship go to waste."_

_".... Okay, Dean, if you say so," Sam replied, his voice still full of worry. "I'll see you soon, right?"_

_"Of course, idiot," he smirked a bit. "Gimme a couple of weeks.... then I'll fuck around with you. Is that okay?"_

_"Sure.... Good night, Dean...."_

_"Take care, Sammy," nodded Dean. He ended the call, letting out a deep sigh. From afar, all he could hear was the low buzzing of the street lights and the occasional barks from a dog. But.... in the dark drab room, he was alone. His father went on another road trip for some reason, and again he wasn't told why he kept going. He was an adult and should ask about it, but as always he thought against it. John was gradually sobering up and he didn't want to ruin what was left of the peace between them._

_He glanced at his cell phone, wondering if he should call his father. But what could he say to him? He would only get berated for wasting time and minutes on these burner phones, and it would get worse just for mentioning Sam. He remembered the near-empty bottle of Jack whizzing for his head just for insisting to talk to the younger vampire last month._

_"...." Dean just paced around, the floorboards creaked under his boots. He was honestly happy for Sam, happy that his little brother was able to get a better chance than living in hovel. Better than staying under John's thumb and fearing of making the wrong move. Sam saw the chance of getting out and took it, having to verbally and physically fight with John for it. That was the one thing Dean admired about Sam and his determination, and he could admit that he was envious of it. Sulking in a home that didn't belong to him, Dean was simply stuck._

_Independence was practically a foreign word to a vampire, and Dean couldn't just leave his father. And to go where and do what exactly? A pureblood that is a high school dropout/drifter seemed laughable to their kind. A limbo between making Sam's dream come true and following his father's orders, he virtually had no life for himself and he wasn't sure whether or not to loathe his situation. Mostly because he wasn't exactly sure what he wanted for himself. He had only lived his life like a facade, going from one town to the next with a new brief agenda of hustling and one-night affairs._

_But.... for once, he wished something was different for him, but what could he do about it? The only thing he could do for now was to support Sam, but even that was getting harder and harder by the day. ".... Shit...." Dean scoffed to himself, in the lonely darkness._

".... That's what had happened.... That nightmare was linked to my memories as well as the injuries I suffered back then," concluded Castiel to the brothers standing before him in the living room. "Is that how it is, to heal that way by a vampire's blood....?" he frowned with concern as he glanced up at them. The wide crystal-blue eyes were on Dean, who frowned in total surprise at the story. It sounded rather bizarre, of the priest seeing his child version crying in the church he used to belong to. And it was related to that head injury....

"Um.... okay. I guess, there's more to it then," sighed Sam, frowning a bit.

"Tch, that's a fucking understatement," huffed Dean with a shake of his head.

"Dean...." his brother reprimanded but Castiel shook his head as well.

"He's kind of right.... There seems to be a meaning behind it, and I'm not sure what," he sighed deeply. The hunger was coming back, a lot sooner than he had expected as he felt a slight rumble in his stomach. "I didn't dream again when I went back to sleep last night. Maybe.... the injury was a lot deeper than what the doctors had diagnosed."

"You believe so, Cas?" Sam muttered, narrowing his eyes in consideration.

"Well, we won't know until...." Castiel fidgeted a little, his eyes flitted to Dean again. The older vampire frowned awkwardly by the wide-eyed stare. Strangely enough, he was starting to miss the squinty look on him but at the same time the color in the blue eyes seemed to brighten and couldn't help but stare back at his face. "Um, Dean....?"

"Huh? What?" blinked Dean. "I'm.... sort of hungry again, even though I've eaten a few hours ago," Castiel mumbled self-consciously.

"Oh...." Both brothers glanced at each other, with Dean raising an eyebrow. "I guess.... burgers....?" he shrugged.

"I don't mind...."

".... Okay," sighed Dean, going for the kitchen. "You don't mind bacon on it, right?"

"No, that's okay," Castiel replied, before Sam sat onto the old recliner nearby. "Uh, Sam....?" he muttered when he noticed the stern concentration on his face.

"Hmm.... I'm trying sense of this here, Cas," he said quietly. "I mean.... considering the lore and the stories we have collected, this is the first ever time we've ever seen something like this before our eyes."

"What do you mean?" he asked and Sam put up a small smile.

"I thought you got the gist that we grew up around humans," he shrugged. "With no socialization with our own kind, we can only guess based on the stories we've heard about the other purebloods. Including stories of humans becoming.... totally loyal to their masters because of their blood.... and them eventually turning."

".... Is that how it happen, to drink a pureblood's blood?" frowned Castiel.

"Not really, it's a bit more complicated than that, Cas," he replied with a shake of his head. "I don't know, if you want to keep going on with this, we don't know what would happen in the long run."

"Like.... this fondness for Dean, for that manner?" Cas asked with concern. Sam frowned, before looking at Dean working on the stove. He knew that he was listening but nothing can be done.

"I don't know. If you feel comfortable about it, then you should just go through with it," nodded Sam. "But.... if this causes more harm than good, then I'm not sure what we could do next." The warning was clear, and Castiel grimly understood that as he stared down at his lap. "But.... don't worry about it, Cas. I am optimistic of this, but there's a good chance that the end results could be shitty."

"Yes, and last night's dream sort of proven that...." nodded Castiel. He fidgeted again, the budding urge to go up to Dean was unsettling to him. It was like black magic tempting him to do so. Instead, he glanced up at Sam with his enhanced vision. "You think.... once this is done, something will.... change within me?"

"Not going to lie, but there's always a chance," nodded Sam, and Castiel frowned deeply at that. By now, the alluring smell of cooked meat and spices filled up the cabin and the hunger reminded him that the meal was almost done. Without thinking, he got up from the couch and ambled for the round table. The motions caught the older vampire's attention, just as he turned off the stove.

"Just in time.... Here, Cas," he smirked lightly, placing a plate of a bacon cheeseburger before the priest.

"Thank you very much," he nodded, and couldn't help but smile a bit as he glanced up at him. It was like a reflex that he couldn't stop himself for it. Dean seemed to notice it, and made an awkward smile back.

"Got a second one if you want it."

"I'm sure this would be suffice, but thank you," nodded Castiel before began to eat. The salty and sharp taste of the food had him distracted, he didn't notice Dean going up to his brother. They were visibly worried, as Sam let out a deep sigh.

"You're going to do it again tonight?" he asked quietly.

"If he wants it," shrugged Dean. "This causing more harm than good, from what you've mentioned, I'm certain of that possibility. I mean, he was close to shitting himself last night over a dream. How will he handle it again?"

".... He may not look it but Cas seems strong enough to keep going," nodded Sam. "If he wants to do it, I mean."

"Yeah...." Dean's mind wandered to last night. Cas dropped dead asleep soon after that nightmare and the vampire didn't want to rouse him as he let him lay on his bed. Once again the natural scent was enhanced, even more so than before. It was almost calling to him to taste his blood, but he steeled himself as he sat next to him and watched him until morning came.

That made him wonder about certain myths of their kind, of vampires having strong desires toward particular humans. Even the book of Dracula wasn't wrong about the fanged monster lusting after the main character's beloved. And plenty of descendants of mixbloods were results of purebloods loving humans to the point of turning them. "Dean....?" muttered Sam, noticing the tensed look on his face.

"Hm, what?"

"Is it the blood thing you're worried about, of Cas being close to you?" he frowned concernedly.

"More or less, Sammy," he sighed heavily. "Can't.... afford myself to get close to him either. As much as we're helping him...."

"Then try to distant yourself from him tonight, Dean," Sam muttered. "I'm sure he'll be fine if you step out for the night."

"Hm, if you think so--"

"Um...."

Both brothers glanced over at Castiel, who had already finished his burger and was fidgeting a little. And again the priest's attention was on Dean. "Uh, yeah, Cas?" nodded Dean.

"I.... I have a feeling what two of you are talking about at the moment but...." Castiel frowned a bit. "I am willing to do it again tonight, to drink Dean's blood, I mean."

"Oh, okay, that's all right," sighed Dean but he frowned nonetheless. "We could do it, before I go out to town for the night." At the mention of that, Castiel squinted his eyes-- for once, in surprise. The older vampire wondered why but then again he shouldn't be surprised that the effects were still there. "Um, you okay with that, Cas? I mean, Sam's here to play Uno with you or something," he shrugged.

".... Yes, I believe I'd be okay of it," nodded Castiel, although he oddly felt skeptical of the idea. Why was Dean going somewhere, and for what exactly? And going somewhere, without him....? Against his judgement, he shook his head. "I can't...." he sighed.

"Hm, you can't what?" Dean frowned in surprise.

"Uh, I mean.... I can't...." _Have you going away...._ That was what he wanted to say, but his voice was stuck in his throat as he stared wide-eyed at Dean. Dean stared back before understanding what was going on as he eventually nodded.

"Okay, I get it," sighed Dean. "I'm sure it'll be fine, I'm just gonna be gone until dawn, Cas. Is that okay?"

".... Yes, of course," Castiel reluctantly agreed. This feeling of closeness was aching inside of him and it wasn't a physical one. He didn't want to liken it to a drug addiction, but the psychological urging for Dean was right there. He forced himself to look at his lap as Dean turned back to his brother. He could hear them murmuring again and he didn't like it. He didn't want to be the center of the topics again but there wasn't any way out of this.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

If one of the after-effects were supposed to be fatigue, apparently it wasn't hitting Castiel as soon as he drank Dean's bitter-tasting blood later that night. If anything, he was feeling rather wired, just sitting in the couch and rubbing his arms as the TV rambled on quietly. This time, Dean ran his blood into a small cup instead of feeding him straight from his wrist. It was like choking down a mixture of molasses and mud but he drank it anyway. And it didn't feel better by the pair of glowing eyes on him while doing so.

Maybe it was all in his head, but it didn't feel the same as last night. Maybe it was because Dean left a half an hour after he drank the blood. Sam had left him alone, not wanting to see the situation as he hid himself in his room. But he hadn't checked up on the priest who was in jitters right now. "...." He glanced at the bolted door and grimaced.

Dean was gone and deep down he didn't like it. He wanted to go with him though he didn't say it outright, but he was told to stay put and not to worry. Dean didn't look at him in the eye out of concern since he didn't want to compel him. But where did Dean go, Castiel was more than curious about that, aggressively wishing to know.

".... Cas....?" muttered Sam, and the priest whirled his head around instantly to see him going down the stairs. "You're still up....? I assumed you'd be asleep by now," he frowned worriedly.

"I know...."

"Yeah it's about half past one, not that it's bothering me," nodded Sam, moving to sit next to him. "Something the matter, Cas?"

".... I.... I could feel it churning throughout my body but...." he sighed, slightly pinching the skin on his arms. "I was honestly lethargic the first few times but now, I've been feeling rather, I don't know...."

"That you're tweaking out like a college kid on his fifth Monster binge?" he joked lightly and Castiel nodded despite not getting the reference. "You think.... it might have to do with Dean not being here, Cas?"

"Maybe...."

"And.... have you remembered anything else after you drank the blood?" he questioned and Castiel looked up at him. It was like staring at an oil portrait coming to life, and it was honestly unsettling as he then looked away.

"Nothing.... I kept thinking about that nightmare of myself as a child but I can't seem to figure out why I was crying or the reason I felt an exploding pain in my head. That's a disturbing mystery to me, Sam."

"Yeah.... And staying up thinking about it probably won't help, Cas, believe me," nodded Sam with a deep sigh. "It's kinda hard not to dwell on the past considering what I've done.... Trying to keep busy by reading or researching, but it'll always be there. So seeing you wanting to find out, it's rather mind boggling to me."

"I know, I'm sorry about that," Castiel understood with empathy. He couldn't blame Sam for wanting to erase parts of his past as he saw that the tall vampire would have to live with it for the rest of his life. But Sam shook his head and huffed as he then glanced at him.

"Cas, you can tell me the truth.... Are you truly afraid of what you're going to find in the end, that it might fuck you up even more than now?" he asked quietly.

".... Perhaps, but isn't that the point?" he muttered as he looked up.

"What do you mean?"

"This past that I have.... it might try to damage me, but I have to persevere," he sighed. "I cannot run away from it the moment I find out, I must learn about it and continue on with my life, no matter what, right?"

"Yeah, guess that's true for you, Cas," agreed Sam, before suddenly letting out a brief chuckle.

"What, Sam?" frowned Castiel in slight confusion.

"Dude, you just practically quoted the line from _The Lion King_ , I can't believe it...." he smirked lightly, and the priest just blinked.

"I don't understand...."

"You know, when the monkey was telling Simba to face his personal battles-- Never mind, but you're right, Cas," nodded Sam. "But.... it sounds like the memories won't come until you go to sleep, based on the past experiences. Maybe you should go and try to rest, then the dreams will start popping up."

"That's the thing.... I just don't feel tired," admitted Castiel.

".... Because you don't have Dean to placate you at the moment," assumed the tall vampire. "The first time I'm seeing this on a human, like I said before.... But the mixbloods who are subservient to their pureblooded masters, I've seen them hanging onto their every word as if they were god-like in a sense."

"Sounds rather sinful...."

"Yeah, but have you felt that way recently?" he asked and Castiel frowned with uncertainty.

"I.... do wish to be close to him, to understand him," he muttered. "I even have a sense of.... feeling, or wanting to see him happy in a way...." Sam's eyebrows furrowed at that but slowly he nodded.

"You want him to be happy.... Guess I can understand that, Cas," he sighed deeply. "But.... it's an impossible dream for the both of us. Not since the murder of our mother...."

".... Murder?" frowned Castiel, surprise in his eyes as he looked at him. "Your mother was.... murdered, you say?"

"Yeah, Dean mentioned it a couple weeks back, remember?" he pointed out, with a grim frown. "He was a kid but he remembered seeing her holding her bleeding stomach when she handed me to him.... It's possible to harm purebloods with regular weapons but to sustain an injury that long...."

"You think.... a hunter tried to hurt her, Sam?" he asked hesitantly but Sam shook his head.

"From what I was told, Mom was practically 'unusual' by vampire standards," he said. "I probably got it from her, she was acting like a normal human and had never personally fed off humans herself. But.... I sometimes wonder though, you know, if there was someone she knew that killed her...."

"And you ever thought about finding out?"

"Based on Dad's paranoia and the fact that we kept moving every two weeks, you pretty much can't start to think such a thing," sighed Sam.

"But.... you ever think that the other purebloods had something to do with it?" asked Castiel, and he nearly flinched when Sam's glowing eyes glanced up at him.

"It's different from what happened to our grandmother," he replied. "We're the top of the social pyramid in our kind, but there's not much of us in America let alone in the world. Aside from what happened to my grandmother and her family, murdering a pureblood is basically illegal. You're asking for a death wish to even attempt such a thing."

"And yet they want _you_ dead...."

"Because of what I've done...." sighed Sam, the glow in his eyes went away. "Once they're done with my usage.... I don't know what will happen next, Cas. I'd like to be optimistic but let's be real here...." Castiel nodded. It was a grim reminder, it was true, but the priest didn't like how Sam was sounding defeated over it. Like with Dean, he was having a fond feeling of making him happy as well.

His body relaxed as he took a deep sigh. "There must be something you can hope for, Sam.... It shouldn't be right for both you and Dean to give up after living a lifetime in limbo."

"Yeah.... I had a chance like that a long time ago but that getting it again...." he huffed deeply before glancing over at Castiel. "Well.... no need to dwell on it, Cas, guess you should try to go to sleep for a while."

"But--"

"Dean's not coming back until dawn, so there's no point of staying up for him like this," he nodded, his eyes glowed again but Castiel didn't seem to notice. "Come on, Castiel, go to sleep...."

"Huh? Sam, I...." Castiel glanced up, right into his eyes. Within an instant, a familiar sense of haziness washed over him. "H-huhh....?"

"Go to sleep, _Castiel_...." muttered Sam.

"Ah...." A few seconds set in, before Castiel suddenly slumped back on the old leather cushions. His eyes closed as his expression relaxed, then he breathed evenly. A clear sign of him sleeping.

".... Shit, it really worked," Sam frowned in surprise as he stood up. It wasn't a fluke at all. Castiel drinking a pureblood's blood directly really was causing a change in his body. Either for the better or worse, he wasn't exactly sure as he laid the human correctly. Castiel stayed asleep, and Sam waited for a while then went for the stairs. But not before taking out his phone to dial a number.

".... Sammy?" answered Dean barely after one ring.

"Dean, hey.... I guess you are right about Castiel becoming vulnerable to compulsion," he muttered, going up the stairs.

"What? You compelled him....?"

"Ever since you left, he was just sitting on the couch practically tweaking out," he explained. "I checked up on him and he wasn't sure why he was acting like that.... It might have to do with your blood in his body, it's like he wants to be there with you, Dean. It's weird."

"And you managed to compel him, why?" asked Dean.

"He just wouldn't go to sleep, like I said.... I admit it, I didn't really like to do it," Sam sighed. "So.... where are you? Somewhere close by?"

"About two towns over, Sammy, so don't worry about me," he sighed, trying to sound cheery but it obviously wasn't working. But Sam understood that as he stepped into his room.

"Okay then. I'll give you the update if something happens," he sighed.

"Good to know. Later, Sammy...."

Sam hung up his phone but he stared at it for a while. For a moment, he was considering calling up Bobby to reveal what was going on here. It would cause drama if he were to do it, and no doubt Dean would be pissed about it. If anything, he should bring it up to his brother once he comes back.

Meanwhile, in one obscure town halfway through the state, Dean sighed as he put away his phone. The fondness Castiel was having seemed to be stronger than the night before. First the priest was hovering close to him, and now he was pining for him like a lovestruck teenager. He wasn't sure what to think of it.

Leaning against his parked car in a half empty parking lot, the vampire munched on his soft taco meal that apparently tasted a little funny to him. It made him grimace a bit, guess he missed his own food that much. And also seeing Castiel enjoying the food he made.... No, he should temper it down, after all the craving for his blood lessened now that he was out of the cabin.

But then he would have to go back.... No doubt Castiel would be on him the moment he does so, and that would be awkward. And yet.... he could admit that he had sexual attraction toward Castiel in the beginning, but not so much after his abhorrent behavior on the human. But it didn't mean that his body wouldn't naturally react him.

He actually wanted to breathe in on the priest's scent. He was so close to it that night, that he wanted to know what his blood tasted like. "...." Taking a bite out of his soggy taco, he kept wondering what he should do. Maybe.... he should call up Bobby about this. The lore the brothers got were barely a collection compared to the centuries-old worth of storage at the hunter's house. And to do that, he might have to swallow his pride and face the consequences for what he had done.

But he knew that his father figure won't turn them down over something like this, seeing that they haven't come across something like this before. Reading about it and seeing it before his eyes were two different things.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_"...."_

_He blinked, multiple times, making sure that it was real. Of course.... it wasn't real, because Castiel was in a busy hospital. He looked down, he was wearing the clothes he was given by Dean. No priestly garb this time. He then glanced around, the doctors and nurses didn't seem to notice him and just breezed past him. ".... Something happened here...." he muttered, not as surprised as before but still afraid, as he looked around once more. It was then his crystal-blue eyes fell on the sign at the wall behind him._

_He was in the Trauma Center of the hospital. It made sense now. Judging by the simultaneous sounds of beeping machines and concerned mutterings of the staff, this must have been where he was taken after that head injury. Castiel grimaced at the thought of the pain but quickly ignored it as he studied the sign. "...." There was a pediatric trauma department not far from here, the child version of him might be there, he realized._

_Brisking down the hallway, he turned to the right for the other hallway. It was like he was a ghost to the medical staff, although it appeared that they would step out of the way whenever he would get too close to him. Another turn of the hallway, and there he was. It was then the sounds suddenly muted, even the muttering voices were lowered into inaudible whispers._

_".... Am I at the right place?" he mumbled. He was certain of it but he was still having this foreboding feeling about it, as he looked around. The area, where it was more spacious, revealed a row of rooms on one side. There were large windows for the doctors to peek in on the patients' statuses, as he glanced at the first one. It showed a toddler with a bandaged arm but it wasn't him as he then moved along._

_Another one was empty, then an occupied one with a teenage girl reading a book with a suspended leg case. As Castiel got to the next room, his sapphire eyes widened with surprise at the window._

_This time.... it was him, the ten-year-old version reclined in the bed. But then dread suddenly dropped in his guts at the sight of it. The child was breathing oxygen through a mouthpiece, and his arms were attached with wires and an IV. Castiel stared, noticing a tight bandage covering the boy's cranium. So that was it, he really did have a severe head injury but he didn't think it had looked like this. "Dear Lord...." he gasped softly._

_It was then he saw his mother stepping into view, and her appearance made his heart ache. Her face blotched by endless tears as she looked at the child version of him with so much grief, as if he was going to die right then and there. Castiel wanted to know why, wanting to ask her when he turned for the door._

_But he halted his steps. This was more than just another dream, because his real mother had been long gone, he remembered that. After a moment, he took a deep breath and stepped into the room. "...." As much as he wanted to speak to her, it would just be in vain as it appeared that she didn't even seen him going around the bed. The child was out of it although he appeared peaceful from the painkillers. Wisps of dark hair stuck out of his bandage and his pallor was sickly._

_Was this a part of the memory? It wasn't coming to him like Castiel had expected, and he wished that he could speak to his mother, as he glanced up at her. His mother was exhausted with emotions coursing throughout her body. How long was she like this, he wondered, probably for hours. It was then he heard the soft footsteps of doctor coming right in, but his mother was barely aware of it._

_".... Mrs. Novak, may I have a word....?" he muttered with concern._

_"...."_

_"Mrs. Novak, please, I have news on the condition of your son," he pressed as gently as he could when he stepped closer to her. "It is good news but--"_

_"Is he going to wake up....?" she mumbled tearfully, not taking off her red-rimmed eyes off the child._

_"It's.... up to him, but hopefully soon once the swelling goes down," he answered. Castiel could only watch his mother nodding numbly at the answer. It hurt that she was suffering over him and his injuries, but he had never thought she had suffered this much. He observed her wringing her hands together, before she turned to the doctor._

_"And then what....?" she muttered. "What will happen to him afterwards?"_

_"Well.... that we're not sure," the doctor admitted grimly. "There's a fair chance of developing migraines at an early age. Another possibility is that of a cognitive disability, that he might have to re-learn motor and speech skills. But like I said, Mrs. Novak, we just have to wait until he wakes up." Castiel's mother just frowned with dismay, before turning back to the boy in bed._

_"And still.... What will happen next....?" she mumbled, her broken tone caught Castiel's attention and he inhaled anxiously. It changed.... what happened to him? The doctor seemed to understand her words and nodded with some reluctance._

_".... Would you.... wish to file a report, go to the police? There's more than just the head trauma that had occured to him...."_

_More than the head trauma....? Castiel's eyes widened in absolute shock. So there was something else going on here. But then why would his mother stay silence on such a thing, and from him....? At the suggestion, his mother's expression deepened with absolute remorse as more tears came. Castiel desperately wanted to run up to her and just hug her. But he simply stood there, frozen, afraid that he would wake up for doing that before figuring out what was going on here._

_"I.... I don't even know, I'm not sure," she sniffled. "I want to.... He did this to my baby, but.... Who could believe this? We trusted him, and this is how God repay us?"_

_"...." Castiel couldn't believe this, this could not be true as he felt a dry lump in his throat. His mother a devout person of faith, actually questioned said faith? This couldn't be, she sent him to Catholic school-- even supported his career of becoming a priest. So why was she denouncing the Lord's name like that....?_

_"Why.... He let me down, and He let my son down....?" she muttered brokenly. "It's bad enough that Jimmy left us.... if Castiel's gone, I wouldn't know what to do...."_

_"Ma'am, it'll be okay--" the doctor assured but she shook her head._

_"He won't be the same as before.... I just know it...."_

_Castiel frowned terribly. He glanced down at the child version of himself, immobile by the machines that were keeping him alive. He needed to know more of this, as he figured out one thing. His mother lied that he was in a bike accident.... Someone had hurt him, and he didn't know who._

_".... M-mom...." he managed to rasp out. He should have expected it, his mother didn't respond to his voice as she sat down on the chair next to the bed._

_"Castiel, please...." she sniffled, reaching out to grasp his hand. "Please.... you have to wake up.... You got to wake up for me, baby...."_

_"Mom...."_

"Cas, wake up....!"

Castiel's eyes snapped open from his dream and gasped sharply. It was like an electrocution throughout his body as he writhed right off the couch. It was then he grabbed by the shoulder and he barely came to. "Ahh....!" he gasped out.

"Cas, it's me, come back....!"

A familiar scent of woody musk filled up his nose, but it seemed more overwhelming than before with a salty mix of lingering sweat and alcohol. Had it always smelled that way before....? It smelled so.... good....

"O-ohh...." he groaned, reacting with grasping for the one who was holding him. He felt the stiffness by his touch, but he didn't realize it as he buried his face against the hard chest.

"C-Cas....?"

"...." Castiel knew who it was, and yet.... he didn't want to recoil away and he didn't want Dean to move away from him. He didn't want Dean to go, Dean was here. Dean was here....

"Cas-- Oh shit...." sighed Dean, the instant he smelled the priest's tears. "It's.... it's okay.... It was another nightmare, right? It's gonna be all right...." Castiel felt the arms gingerly wrapping around him but the contact was more than enough as more tears leaked out of his clenched eyes. He couldn't get the images out of him, he couldn't believe such a thing but....

".... Dean....?"

"Just gimme a moment, Sam...." muttered Dean. "C'mon, Cas.... It's okay, right, I'm right here," he sighed, patting him on the back. He could feel the dampness on his chest and he frowned. It was deja-vu, from the times of when Sam would at first have his breakdowns. But this was a human, practically imprinting on him because of the blood. ".... Cas, c'mon, just tell me what happened in your dream," he muttered, reluctantly pulling him away.

"...." The tears trickled down his cheeks as Castiel stared up at him for a moment. He looked like he was about to speak, but the voice died and choked out of his throat.

"Cas--"

"Wh-why did you wake me up....?" he gasped out. Dean blinked at that, before the priest's breath wavered. "I.... I was so close, and then.... Oh Lord, it's too much....!"

"Cas, wait a minute," Sam quickly assessed. "You weren't screaming out in your dream, but your heart was racing and the scent of fear was coming out of you--"

"You should have let me continue to dream, I just....!" he sniffled, quickly wiping away his tears. "A hospital, I was there.... In a coma, because of the head injury, and.... My mother, she was there...."

"Your mom?" he questioned.

"Wait, you were in a coma....?" Dean frowned in confusion. "W-wait, wait, how can you remember such a thing if you were conked out like that, Cas?"

"Does it matter....?! All I know was that there was something else that happened to me, Dean!" Castiel scoffed in frustration. "And.... I would've known if...." More tears came as he exhaled shakily.

"Oh.... fuck.... I'm so sorry, Cas," Dean frowned in regret. "I just thought...." What was he thinking? He thought he was going through another nightmare but it was obviously wrong in the end.

".... We could put you back to sleep if you want, Cas," suggested Sam, and his brother looked at him in suprise.

"Sammy--"

"Already, he was making progress faster than we expected, Dean," he debated. "The dream, the part where he was able to listen in while in the coma-- there's medical proof that he might have absorbed the memory that way. Let's just give him some more blood and put him to sleep."

"He's too tweaked out to do this, Sam....!" he frowned. "Let's just calm him down and figure it out about--"

"N-no....! I need to get compelled again, it's the only way I can get it back!" clamored Castiel, staring wide-eyed at the startled vampire. "Please, Dean, I need to know what happened to me! It's something more than just the head injury!"

"Cas, just take a breather--" he assured.

"No! Take me back, please, I just--"

" _Castiel_....! Calm the fuck down....!" he ordered, and instantly Castiel stopped ranting. His voice stuck in his throat although his wide teary eyes glared at Dean. "I'm sorry, okay but.... you need to calm down. Take a deep breath, Padre, c'mon...." Shakily, Castiel did so. He felt marginally better, but he was still queasy of the dream.

".... We got to call Bobby about this," muttered Sam.

".... No, Sammy, not yet," huffed Dean.

"But--"

"I already agreed with you on that earlier, but with the way this is going...." Dean muttered, gesturing to the shaken priest. "I know I wanna get this over with but not without Cas spazzing out and getting himself hurt over it."

"All right, that's true enough," sighed Sam.

"P-please...." sniffled Castiel. He wasn't compelled to be quiet, but the stress was eating at him. He didn't want to be calmed down, he was so close to it and he hated how Dean was controlling him this way. But then again he had just asked him to force him back to sleep....

"Sorry, Cas, but think this through...." Dean frowned worriedly. "You're getting too worked up, and the way you're clinging to me, you might not like what you see in the end."

".... I don't care...." he croaked miserably. "My mother.... she was in so much pain, she thought that I was going to die just like my father.... It would have shattered her if I had, Dean." The hands that were holding Castiel's shoulders slipped down, as Dean's expression saddened. The thought of losing a loved one.... he understood that one too many times.

"I.... I'll get you some water then, Cas," he muttered, not wanting to dwell on the topic further as he moved to stand up. But Castiel held onto the fabric of his shirt and stubbornly wasn't letting go. Dean noticed that but as much as he wanted to pull away, he found himself not wanting to. Reluctantly, he huffed and sat back down. "This is getting so fucking crazy...." he sighed heavily.

"...." Castiel's tears began to cease, he sniffled as he glanced up at Dean. The vampire was distressed, looking away just as Sam stepped into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water.

"Cas...." the tall vampire prompted, holding the cup before him. Slowly, Castiel moved one hand and took it. He didn't realize that his mouth was cotton-dry until he drank it all in three gulps. But he still wouldn't let go of Dean, the empathetic feeling was much greater than before. "Okay.... Let's start by what you can remember, Cas. Explain it to us, and then we might compel you into sleeping again."

"...." Castiel inhaled slowly. He needed to know what his mother meant, as he looked between the brothers. ".... My injury.... it wasn't an accident," he muttered carefully. "It seemed deliberate.... The doctor, he was asking my mother if she wished to press charges on the person who hurt me."

"Deliberate....?" questioned Sam. Dean meanwhile had his eyes glowed at the explanation. Who would dare to injure a kid, almost to the point of nearly murdering him?

"Yes.... My mother, she was so distraught and broken...." he mumbled, he felt so exhausted from the overflowing emotions as he thought back on the memory. "She even blamed God for letting this happened to me.... I don't understand that...."

".... I do, Cas, if you get what I'm saying," scoffed Dean, finally glancing at him. Castiel frowned at that. His mother could have said that at a spur of the moment but a lifetime of suffering had scarred Dean that he could barely believe in the higher power.

"But.... something must've happened," muttered the priest. "Whatever it was, it made my mother move us out of state, possibly out of fear of the person who harmed me...."

"That's a possibility...." frowned Sam, before his eyes narrowed at his brother who let out a low growl. "Dean....?"

".... You can let me go now, Cas, I got a thought...." rumbled Dean.

"Dean, wha--" started Castiel.

"Dean, what're you trying to do....?" Sam frowned when Dean forced the human's hands off him.

"I just needed to check something out online...." he grunted, getting up. But instantly, the taller vampire grasped him by the shoulder and looked straight at his glowing eyes. "Sammy...."

"I get it. If Cas' story checks out from you looking to see if it's mentioned on the news, then what're you going to do?" he pointed out. "It's been twenty years, it's probably not online, and another way to find it is through a microfiche in a local library. And to do that...."

"I would have to go to Cas' hometown, in Illinois...." Dean realized, scoffing bitterly. Both origins stuck in the one place he dreaded at the moment.

"Right, so _you_ need to calm down...." nodded Sam. "Your fangs are practically out, so you got to think about this. Considering that you promised what you are to Cas...." he muttered that last part. Dean huffed but agreed with a nod, before turning to Castiel.

A big part of him wished to track down this possible attacker and beat him within an inch of his life. But Sam was right, to feel this way, it would mean that he was having attachment to the priest. Castiel watched him, unsure of the next move but soon Dean relaxed and shrugged off his brother's hand. "I'm good...." he huffed gruffly. "Don't baby me, Sammy, I got it."

"Then we should call up Bobby, Dean," sighed Sam. "I know this isn't what you want, but this is our last resort. Just think about it, okay....?"

"Sure...." he muttered.

"Y-your human uncle? About what's happening to me?" Castiel asked in confusion.

"Yeah, about that...." mumbled Dean, shaking his head. "He knows more about our kind than we do ourselves. But that will be the last resort should it get fucking worse. Right, Sam?"

"How worse can it get, Dean....?" frowned Sam. "Like Cas had just said, there's something more to it than his head injury."

"So what're you saying?" he scoffed. "We should-- _I_ should give him more blood again and let him convulse from it?"

"I'm not saying that--"

"You know what? Let's just sleep from it, all of us are too worked up and it doesn't help if Cas is hopped up on my blood so soon," huffed Dean with a shake of his head. "Okay? Let's just wait out a couple of days or something, Sam. Then we'll call up Bobby." Sam frowned but his brother got a point and he reluctantly agreed with a nod.

"Fine, okay...." he sighed. Dean made a grimacing frown, he didn't wish to look at Castiel's expression but it was for the best at the moment. ".... Fuck.... I need to hit the hay, I'm exhausted from this," he huffed heavily. "Just let me be for a while, Sammy...." Sam's frown deepened when his brother turned for the stairs, not even wanting to spare a glance at Castiel. The priest stared after Dean, wanting to follow but he stilled himself albeit with his body shivering from doing so.

"...." The pain in his head felt so phantom but real right now, as he scratched through his hair. His eyes stung with new tears and hung his head. One minute Dean was there for him, and the next he distanced himself when it would get too much.

"It's okay, Cas...." muttered Sam. There was a new glass of water before him, and Castiel took it. "I'm sorry about this.... This is far more complicated than we have expected, as usual."

".... Is Dean frustrated by this? Of what's happening to me?" he mumbled.

"It's pretty obvious, but that's how Dean is," sighed Sam. "If he can't find a way to help anybody, he would get bummed out and angry over it...."

"Meaning you...."

"Pretty much...." Sam muttered apologetically.

"But.... he wants to help me yet at the same time, he seemed to not to get too close while doing so," he said, glancing up at the tall vampire. "You must know, Sam...."

".... You've forgotten the initial reason of Dean kidnapping you, because of your blood, Cas," said Sam. Castiel blinked and remembered. The way Dean was lusting after him because of his blood. And then some more....

".... You think.... Does he crave for my blood again? Is that why he can't get close to me, Sam?" he questioned.

Sam looked at him in slight surprise then he glanced away, taking a step back. "I'm not exactly sure, Cas.... If that was the case, he would've told me," he sighed.

"Wha-- Where are you going, Sam?" Castiel muttered when he noticed him going for the door with a jacket in hand.

"You're leaving soon, Cas.... Once your memories are back, we'll send you off," he reminded him. Castiel looked at him, that was right. That was the plan and yet, he wanted to know whether or not they will compel him into forgetting who and what they were. He should ask before everything is complete in his mind.

"And then what, Sam? I mean, after I'm gone, what will happen to you and Dean?" That made Sam pause and look at him, his eyes glistened with consideration.

"Don't know.... But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, I guess...." he admitted. Castiel frowned at the meaning, as Sam left. The cabin was in complete silence and the priest fidgeted on the couch. He drank the water-- he was still thirsty, but hunger wasn't on his mind at the moment. His thoughts was on Dean.

Why was Dean pushing him away, was it because of the blood or was it something else in the matter?

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Killing time wasn't the best option, but it was good enough for Dean as he attempted to sleep through the day. Sam was gone to collect the fake ID and paperwork, leaving him with Castiel but after what happened this morning that idea seemed bad from the start. But the sooner the brothers get this done, the better. That is, if Sam wanted him to go through this one thing. Compelling Castiel to forget the past month and a half worth of memories plus his kidnapping was something he had never done before.

Able to snip out moments of memory after drinking the humans' blood or having one-night stands, that was easy enough. But this sounded big to do even as a pureblood. And to talk about this to Bobby.... Deep down he wasn't exactly sure what he could tell him. Sam was easier with the conversation but in the end they would just get a tongue-lashing over it.

The scent of Castiel was on him, as he didn't bother to change his clothes. The smell of the priest's tears and sweat clogged his nose and unfortunately he liked it, as he felt himself getting aroused. "Fuck...." he grumbled, grinding his crotch down on the mattress. He gritted his fanged teeth; he had already fed on blood earlier but Castiel's scent was getting too much to handle now. Maybe he should admit to Sam about it, that it was getting more than just a vampire's need for companionship.

".... Dean....?"

The green-gold eyes snapped open at the soft plaintive muttering just before he heard a knock on his closed door. What does Castiel want at this hour....? As a matter of fact, it was nearly four in the afternoon.

"Fuck me...." he grumbled, willing his budding arousal away as he sat up. "Um, y-yeah.... yeah, what is it, Cas?" he muttered.

"...."

"Cas, you can come in. Have you calmed down enough for a talk?" he called out.

"...." The door opened to reveal Castiel stepping in. The human seemed just as disheveled as he was this morning. The scent of dried tears were on him and like him he hadn't bothered to change his clothes since this that nightmare. Castiel looked almost as haggard as he was a few weeks ago, as he stepped closer. ".... I just.... I'm just wondering about something, Dean," he muttered, slowly and carefully.

"Oh, okay...." sighed Dean.

"Actually, I've been thinking.... since this morning...."

"And you haven't eaten all this time?" he frowned with concern. But Castiel shook his head, walking up to the vampire.

".... What's wrong, Dean?" he muttered, and Dean blinked at that.

"Huh....?"

"Is there something wrong with me, that you cannot linger around me for so long, since feeding me your blood?" he frowned.

"Cas--"

"I know that since ingesting it, I've been having this fondness toward you," he muttered grimly. "Is that the problem, Dean? I know it feels false, that we could never be friends because of the circumstances between us...."

"No, Cas, it's not that--" Dean shook his head but at the same time it made sense to them both. Castiel's blood was the reason why they ended up like this. "It's just.... All right, fine.... It's back, Cas, your scent."

"My.... my scent?" frowned Castiel.

"It's been back for a while. At first, I tried to ignore it, as if it was just you getting back to normal," he sighed. "But.... since giving you my blood, it's like it got enhanced in a way, and more and more it's becoming...."

"Tempting...." realized Castiel although Dean glanced away at that word. "Is it alluring at the moment, Dean?"

"24/7 of your priestly pheromones, that's what it is," he muttered. "And with your memories coming back, it's like you're getting different by the day and by the hour for that matter...."

"Oh...." Castiel took a step back but paused his actions, fidgeting a little as he glanced at the vampire. ".... I'm afraid of the results, Dean, I truly am.... If it meant to happen, then I will endure it. And you.... I noticed it, when I mentioned that someone else was responsible for my childhood injuries. Even though we're not as we are, you cared."

"I know but.... it just didn't matter at the moment. Any dickbag who put his hands on a kid deserved his head popped off like cork," nodded Dean. The threat aside, that made Castiel smile a little.

"You cared, that's all it mattered...."

"Yeah, sorry though...." He looked up time to see Castiel sitting on the edge of his bed. The human was gingerly rubbing at the side of his neck, the area where Dean had first bitten him. "Cas....?"

"If.... if it makes you feel any better, Dean...." he muttered, looking down at his lap.

"Cas? What're you thinking about?"

".... It won't go away unless you have a taste, right?" he said, the tired blue eyes glanced over at him.

"Wha-- Cas, you can't be serious....!" he scoffed in disbelief. "Me drinking your blood is the reason why you're stuck here in the first place....!"

"But not for long, right? And this feeling I have toward you, it's only temporary. I don't think my situation will get any worse than it is now."

"Yeah, nice work of being optimistic, Padre," snorted Dean but Castiel shook his head.

"Dean.... This time, I'm offering it to you, willingly," he muttered. "My blood, if it's different than it was before, then you should drink from me."

"But, Cas.... You got _my_ blood coursing in your body at the moment," he debated. "If I do this and then next day I give you my blood again-- that's how it works, Cas."

"What....?"

"Of turning humans, transferring a pureblood's blood while drinking from them-- You're practically halfway there if I were to do that," he said with concern. Castiel's eyes widened at that. Of course he didn't think this through, he was still under the influence of Dean's blood. But at the same time, he wasn't exactly sure if he was truly being swayed or he was really acting out on his own.

"I'm sorry, I just thought--"

"It's okay. I'm okay, Cas, I could bare it a while longer," he nodded with a light but forced smile. But deep down in his guts, he should have taken the offer. Damn, why this type of conversation always occurred whenever Sam wasn't around....? Castiel looked at him but he wasn't convinced, not completely.

".... Your nature is telling you otherwise, Dean," he sighed.

"Huh....?"

"Hello, my vision and the abnormally ability to notice the most acute things?" muttered Castiel with a shrug. "I.... I don't need to drink your blood for the next night. There's enough in my body that's mostly curing me, correct?"

"I...." Dean couldn't see the reason not to argue against it, not when his fangs practically aching for it at the moment. His hunger was savoring for the human before him, even though his jaw muscles tightened to prevent it. "..... I'll get horny over it, Cas, I won't deny it," he admitted.

".... Oh, right...." realized Castiel. "I suppose.... that would be okay...."

"Really? Coming from you?" he frowned in slight confusion.

"If I can be honest with you, Dean.... I have been getting...." Castiel muttered, his cheeks tingled with embarrassment. "Lately, I've been having.... unnecessary excitement since drinking your blood."

"Unnecessary.... Oh.... O-oh, fuck, really?" Dean gasped, eyebrows shooting up at the meaning. "I didn't know humans can get boners from that....!"

"Please...." Castiel frowned at him.

"Sorry, just.... Okay, but now what?" he muttered, and the priest rubbed his neck again. "Cas.... I'm not sure what will happen once I do this. To be honest, I'm not sure why this is affecting only me and not Sam." That much was true, plenty of times Castiel's blood was around his little brother and yet Sam wasn't tempted for a taste. Either he was downing enough animal blood to dismiss the blood or he was that afraid of being seen as a monster once again.

It could be the latter, seeing that Sam wouldn't wish to risk another life from his dark rage. Castiel seemed to be aware of that, and nodded in agreement. "I get it.... Maybe it's because I know of his darkness. Or maybe because he had never tasted my blood in the first place. Anyway.... Dean, I'm willing to do this for you, if that's what you want."

"...." Dean's glowing eyes gazed at him with a small bit of uncertainty. He wasn't sure if Castiel was acting out of his own accord or this was how the purebloods able to get loyal followers. He had only seen the mixbloods obeying without a word and he only heard rumors of human servants being addicted to the blood like their lives depended on it. But Castiel wasn't truly addicted to it. The human was more empathic on him and Sam than just wanting to chug on his blood for his own gain. ".... Okay...." he sighed deeply.

"Okay?"

"If I do this, you cannot panic, Cas, okay?" nodded Dean. "Once I give in.... It'll be hard to back off, all right? I hadn't gotten a good sleep plus I last chugged a bag over what, since 7 in the morning. Your blood's too good to pass up now...."

".... All right, Dean," he consented.

"Okay...." Dean moved forward, carefully gripping at the priest's shirt to take it off. Castiel remembered this routine but this time he wasn't afraid, letting the fabric come off him. "Fucking hell...." Dean muttered in surprise. With his glowing eyes, he noticed the muscles on Castiel's torso seemed to buff up a little within the past several days. "Seems like you got the Steve Rogers treatment because of my blood...."

"Huh....?"

"N-never mind, Cas.... Just be calm, okay....?" he nodded, his hands gripping his shoulders firmly.

"Okay, Dean...." affirmed Castiel, looking straight at his eyes. The gold color seemed more bold, and he found it alluring at the moment. "You can do it, I trust you...."

".... Sure," Dean muttered, glancing down at his throat where he could vividly see the main vein. Almost instantly, his sharp teeth came out. He exhaled deeply and then he moved closer. Castiel's heartbeat skipped fast at first, but it soon went calm as Dean angled his head for his neck.

"Ahh...." Castiel gasped out the instant the fangs pierced into his skin. He grasped for his forearms and steadied his breathing. He could feel the teeth sinking deeper, but it didn't make him panic. This calmness should be a concern, but the human felt all right despite of hearing Dean swallowing the first mouthful of his blood.

The taste of it.... 'better' was the understatement to Dean. It was sublime, sweet and strong, and by the first gulp he knew that he would have a hard time stopping. With Castiel in his hold, he should attempt to stop if the priest were to say so. "Hmm...." he groaned, the sweet brandy taste was on his tongue as he savored another gulp.

"D-Dean...." panted Castiel but it wasn't out of fear. Where the initial pain was evident, it felt like a sensual tingle throughout his body. He wondered why, this blood drinking should have some amount of pain he needed to endure. But.... then why did he feel so euphoric about it....? "Oh my.... Dean...." he moaned out, and Dean nearly faltered on the next gulp in surprise.

What kind of reaction was that? He was drinking his blood, not having a lust addled romp with him. He inhaled, with one of his hands moved to place at the priest's lower back. "Mmmm...." As expected, he could feel his loins tightening up as he groaned softly in content. But then Castiel made a rough noise that was stuck between discomfort and carnal. And unfortunately, it went straight to the vampire's arousal.

"Mm.... F-fuck...." groaned Dean, sucking at the bloody wound after his teeth let go of the flesh. Again, the priest made a rather pleasurable noise as he rested his hands on Dean's shoulders.

"It.... f-feels weird, Dean...." moaned Castiel, shivering under his hold.

"Hm, I can stop--" he mumbled, although his instincts were thinking otherwise. The blood.... this was for him and him only, and with it restored and enhanced it only made him hunger for more. "Fuck...." he growled lowly, sinking his teeth once more.

"A-ahh....!" These sinful noises were messing with Dean's head, and a hard-on wasn't making it any better. As he took a swallow, he could feel one of Castiel's hands moving to cradle the back of his neck. Was it out of accidental reaction or the priest's empathy that made him act that way?

"Dean.... W-wait, enough, I'm getting dizzy...." Castiel whimpered softly. This time his voice edged on concern and Dean instantly relented, suckling on the wound.

"Sorry...." he rumbled.

"H-heh, it's okay...." he panted. He shifted a bit, feeling his loins tingled from this action. This was different from when the vampire viciously gnawed on his inner thigh and the nerve caused the unsettling arousal. He felt flushed and exhausted, moaning as Dean dragged his tongue over the bite mark.

This exchange between them felt too.... good.... and this should be bad and appalling. But deep down, he didn't actually care for some reason. And he wasn't sure why. "Hahh...." he breathed, closing his eyes. "Dean--"

_A face...._

He gasped out in surprise, his grip on Dean tightened a bit. What was that....? A face.... it was a man's face.... Dean didn't seem to be aware of it while savoring the sweet blood. But Castiel was feeling uneasy now, because in the back of his head.... something was there. Someone.... whose face seemed familiar. "D-Dean, wait...."

"Cas--"

"I-I remember something, for a moment...." he winced. At that, Dean stopped sucking and pulled away. He stared at the human, his blood stained on his lips as his eyes glowed with concern.

".... What? What was it, Cas?" he nodded. His tone thick with sated heaviness. "It's.... what we did, it triggered something....?"

"I don't know, I...." panted Castiel. Goosebumps rose on his skin as he shivered. "It's.... I think I saw a face, Dean...."

"Oh, okay. I, uh, I'll get a clean washcloth and some first-aid," muttered Dean, licking his lips and scooted back, although he stiffened a bit when he remembered the tightness in his jeans. "Um, gimme a sec...."

Castiel breathed deeply then sighed, the lightheaded feeling was there. Was that possible, making a trigger in his fractured memories? After a moment or so, Dean managed to get up and left the room, only to return mere seconds later with the supplies. ".... Thank you," he muttered, taking the damp washcloth and wiping the wound carefully.

"Okay.... This is funkier than I expected it to turn out," grunted Dean as he sat next to him. He took a glance at the bite mark, seeing that it was clean and shallow. Compared to the ones he had done before.... "Oh.... fuck, now we gotta tell Sam what I did....!" Dean gasped in realization and Castiel simply blinked at him.

"I'm sure he will understand, Dean," he replied quietly.

"So you say...." he sighed. "Here, let me...." He reached out to clean away any remnants, his stomach settled from his feeding although he still craved for the priest's blood. Again, this was different from the other times, when Castiel protested from his bites and unwanted care afterwards. But now.... he appeared oddly content despite a small loss of blood, as Dean applied the ointment over the wound.

".... It doesn't hurt," muttered Castiel.

"Hm?"

"I assumed you were going to ask me that, but it doesn't hurt. Not as much as it did before...."

"Oh.... Sorry about that...." sighed Dean.

"Dean--"

"I'm fine, Cas, really," he nodded, as he firmly but carefully wrapped the bandage around his neck. He was harboring a bit of a guilt of drinking the blood but the closeness between them was something else now. He wasn't even like this with the few friends he had. Hell, he was practically raised by Bobby and even they weren't cuddly together. And the bond with Sam was more like like an overly protective parent on most cases, especially in the last few years.

".... If this was a different circumstance, would we have become friends, Dean?" Castiel spoke up. Dean glanced up at him. His eyes gave off a subtle glow at the thought with the urge to shake his head but he sighed.

"Vampire law. We stay clear of priests and other religious spokespersons, that's rule number one...." he mumbled. "Even if I wanted to, what good would it do to us both? I already fucked up since day one, Cas, think about it."

"But.... I cannot be a priest anymore if I were to start this new life," he pointed out and Dean frowned at that. "I can't be one now.... I'm still devoted but what I've done...."

"C'mon, Cas, you've only offered your blood," he sighed. "You're a simple rookie priest, something like that. At least you're not like those power-hungry fuckers kissing The Vatican's holy-rolling ass."

"There are good men in power, Dean," Castiel frowned at him.

"The same kinda people who thinks George Bush was the best president in history," Dean argued, with a quirk of a joking smirk. "Just saying.... Don't hafta be an atheist to point out that they're either egotistical assholes or perverted deviants, depending on what you get off from CNN...."

"Dean, they're not like that," the priest frowned almost irritably. But that much was true to the secular population, believing that his religion was overly conservative and bureaucratic to the point that the higher-ups would rather help themselves than their patrons. But he himself wanted to help them, for real, as his old priest had helped him--

_"No! Stop it, Father, please!"_

"Ahh....!" Castiel gasped out sharply, startling Dean.

"Cas?" he frowned. But Castiel winced as he suddenly grasped at his hair, before he let out another gasp. "Cas--"

"N-no....!" he winced, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Buddy, calm down," Dean assured and reached out to grasp his shoulder. But the priest whimpered, as if in pain, as he shook his head.

"Cas....? What's wrong, was it my bite--" The salty scent of tears came and Dean inhaled in surprise. What was going on here?

"I-I.... No, this can't be...." he gasped shakily.

"Cas?" Dean, with his eyes glowing, frowned concernedly as Castiel opened his eyes. The widened teary orbs were on him, and the vampire couldn't help shudder. ".... What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

"Wha.... When you mentioned my religion, you just triggered something in my mind, Dean," he mumbled.

"Oh fuck, I'm sorry--"

"No.... It was something.... something that...." The words fell, he stared at Dean. A couple of tears trickled down.

".... Cas?"

".... I think.... I know what truly happened to me...." he muttered quietly. "And... who did it to me...."

"Wait a minute.... What did you just say?" Dean questioned in surprise. "You.... remembered who now, Cas?"

"I-I believe so...." nodded Castiel as more tears came. "It's hazy but.... The face, he looked so familiar. When I think about it, there were so many times that I would go to my church after school.... I would use my bike to get there, it would make sense for my mother to use that excuse for my injuries in order to protect me...."

"Wait a minute, Cas.... I didn't think my words would trigger something--" frowned Dean.

"It did, Dean.... And yet.... I don't wish to believe it...." he muttered with a sniffle.

"Then what? What happened, Cas, what or who hurt you at that time?" he asked and Castiel stared into his glowing eyes.

"It's my mentor, the one person I truly thought was my father figure.... The one my mother and I once trusted.... My.... priest...."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

read and review

I'll update ASAP!


	22. Damned and Condemned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, but I got some excuse stemming from getting over an illness to constantly thinking about porn lol to spending too much time watching my Supernatural DVDs. Hope you appreciate the chapter, but I'll explain the ending of it.

Blood of Salvation by **Boogermeister**

**Chapter 22- Damned and Condemned**

"Wh-what....? That.... that's what happened to you, Cas....?" gasped Dean. "I was just-- I mean, it was my fucking opinion, and that's what you got outta it?" Castiel, with more tears threatening to leak out, could only nod. He was trying to make sense of it at all, trying to gather the scattered memories. But it was starting to make sense nonetheless. "Cas....?"

"My priest.... it just has to be it, Dean," he nodded, glancing down at his lap. "My God.... I just can't believe it. It.... it's cluttered in my brain...."

"Okay, okay...." Dean grasped at his shoulders as he stood up. "C'mon, a good shower will do you some justice, Padre...."

"Okay...." he sniffled. "I'm so sorry, Dean, I--"

"Nah, I didn't think I would say some bullshit and this would fuck you up," he sighed heavily. Castiel got up and they left the bedroom for the bathroom. The memories, they were going in and out, partially mending but the pieces were too small to hold for long. Snapping on the light, Dean squinted his eyes a bit as he took another look at Castiel. He seemed a bit exhausted but almost close to another breakdown. Of course, this was a lot to take in. "Just.... be careful of the bandage on your neck, Cas," he advised. "If you need to holler, just let me know, okay...."

".... Thank you so much, Dean...." he mumbled and Dean blinked on that.

"It's no problem...."

"No, I mean.... You're different from me, I once saw you as a monster who hurt me," he muttered, glancing up at him. "And now.... why am I feeling so safe and reassured around you? With that fever I've had, did you give me your blood out of that, or was it something else....?"

".... Oh...." Dean sighed then rubbed a hand over his nearly bearded face. "Mostly I did that out of spite, I just couldn't risk sending you to the ER if it were to get worse. But.... seeing that it did work, it just made me feel more responsible for you. Even though...."

"It's.... like becoming a bond between us, isn't it?" inquired Castiel and Dean's frown deepened.

".... I'll, uh, make some dinner for you," he muttered, stepping out of the bathroom.

"...." Castiel became aware of it, of Dean briskly changing the subject whenever he would press on it. He sighed tiredly, as he reached to touch the bandage on his neck. The pain was minimal, like a soft sore that can be easily ignored. A sharp contrast to the intense ones he was forced to bare for days.

He rubbed his arms, vaguely aware of the firm muscles on his biceps, before moving to take off the rest of his clothes. The slight arousal he had during the feeding was gone now. Even though it should be immoral by his faith, he knew that it was basic biology so it was only natural, but.... The cause of it should be unnatural, it didn't matter due to Dean being a vampire. Two men being too close like this.... What would be the point, considering his religion....?

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

_".... D-Dean....?"_

_Dean's tired but bloodshot eyes opened instantly. The stench of cheap whiskey and and old sweat hung heavily in the air. The older vampire was in the kitchen of the cabin in Montana-- their prison set by the other purebloods. Half of his face squashed on the wooden table after chugging who knew how many bottles of liquor for the night, before he slowly sat up. He heard Sam's voice, right in front of him._

_It sounded.... croaked from the few weeks of silence since residing here. But it also sounded so frightened, as if he was afraid to even speak at all. Dean blinked, his vision coming back from the lingering hangover. His little brother, slouched abysmally as he stood across the table. His ruffled clothes indicated of his efforts to put them on, an utter contrast to the neat and tidy appearance Dean was used to._

_Even his hair was limply framed around his sickly pale face and it was lacking luster, despite his brother's attempts of force-feeding him animal blood. His hazel-green eyes barely glowed, as he glanced up at Dean. ".... I'm sorry...." he mumbled very weakly, as his body shook. "I'm.... so sorry.... This is m-my fault--"_

_He flinched when Dean suddenly stood up and he glanced up again. Dean didn't say anything, his expression fixed with stunned astonishment. Then he moved around the table and instantly pulled him into a tight hug. Sam froze, as if unsure to make of it. But a few seconds in, he relaxed a bit, his arms moving to hug back. He shook again, close to shedding a tear as he sniffled._

_"I'm sorry--"_

_"Don't...." he muttered quietly. But he wasn't angry at him. If anything, he was absolutely glad that Sam was coherent once again. "Sammy.... Everything's gonna be okay. We'll get through with this, okay? It's just one little shit those assholes want, right?"_

_"...." Sam made a soft whining sound, but Dean assured him with a pat on the back._

_"Now that you're up, I guess I could call up Bobby to bring some books over...." he sighed. "I know it already passed, but we could get a late Thanksgiving celebration. Would you like that, Sammy, some turkey and pies and whatnot?"_

_".... You've been suffering, because of me," he mumbled._

_"Tch, I was only looking after you--"_

_"Almost every night, Dean.... You cried," muttered Sam and Dean stiffened at that, before pulling away to look at him. The glistening of tears were in the taller one's eyes. "You.... barely left my side since we came here. But the brief times you did leave and come back.... I can smell the alcohol on you from my room. And then.... you would cry.... mumbling about me, about Mom and our curse. And.... because of me, you're like this...."_

_".... No, Sammy, I...." There was no excuse around it, and he frowned in grief. He didn't expect Sam to notice such a thing in his catatonic state. But he could never blame Sam for his condition, he had never saw himself doing so. ".... I tried so desperately hard to protect you, Sam. But even that wasn't enough...." he scoffed softly, mostly to himself. "I should've checked.... I didn't know Michigan was a controlled state, I thought we were careful not to go to the ones the purebloods got. Fuck, they even got Henry's state for decades...."_

_"It wasn't your fault, Dean...."_

_"And it wasn't yours either, kid," he shook his head. Sam still appeared unsure of that, ducking his head down as he took a step back. "Hey.... let's take this one day at a time, all right?" he assured. "You've just woken up, and I know you're dying to stretch your legs. But first, let's get some food and blood in you, sounds good?"_

_".... If.... if I could ask, Dean...." he muttered quietly._

_"Hm....?"_

_"I might feel a little better if...." Sam looked up, and Dean instantly knew by the look of his implored expression._

_"It might taste like a disgusting cocktail of every liquor I've gotten my hands on, Sammy," he nodded. It was obvious that he was agreeing to it, even though it would just have a pacifying effect on Sam. But his brother seemed to need it, glancing down again as he shivered. ".... It.... has been a while, right, since we got here," he sighed. "If it makes you feel any better, Sam...."_

_"Yeah...."_

_"Okay.... You don't need my permission."_

_Sam looked up, the sorrow and self-pity were in his eyes. But soon they were replaced with hunger, as they glowed. His fangs bared, he moved forward and gripped at Dean's shoulders. Dean leaned his head back, his dry eyes lingered at the ceiling for a moment._

_"Ah...." he gasped out._

_The familiar bite that he knew, yet he held still when his brother made the first gulp. His slightly shaky breaths accompanied with deep gulps from Sam. Hesitantly, he grasped at Sam's forearms. The alcohol only impaired a good part of his mind but he didn't care. Sam was slowly draining him, and he was thinking back to that one time where his mistake led to this._

_This shouldn't have happened.... Sam should have come first, no matter what. "S-Sammy...." he grunted softly, when the grip tightened on him. "I-it's okay.... I'm never gonna leave you, I swear..... Won't let those fuckers take you away again...."_

_Sam didn't stop, the instincts merely took over as he continued. Weeks of consuming just animal blood made him close to a base creature, as he growled against his neck._

_"S-Sam....!" winced Dean, the gradual loss of blood along with the alcohol still in his body was making him weak in his younger brother's hold. "Sam.... you're taking too much...."_

_"...." Sam growled again, but it was softer and more compliant as he eventually let go. He panted heavily, like a starved animal, as he pulled back and looked at him. Blood drooled from his lips, his eyes glowed anew. But the hunger switched into a form of regret, possibly knowing that he had drank too much._

_".... It's okay, Sammy, you just need to rest some more," panted Dean with a shaky grin. "Let's get you back to bed, c'mon--"_

_"Please...." mumbled Sam, and Dean glanced up to see his eyes glistening with tears once again. "I'm sorry.... If I had better control of myself--"_

_"It'll be okay...." he sighed. He swayed a bit but he stood firmly before leading his brother back upstairs. How many times he must say that line until it makes sense to them....? And this deal involving their grandfather, how will they start on it? It would have been easier if they haven't been the pariah of their own kind. If the others hadn't made their father fearful of his life for so long, then none of this wouldn't be happening._

_The cabin lacked basic furniture for now, with only a rickety cot in Sam's bedroom. Sam was sat down, his head hung as Dean petted through his hair. ".... I'll step out to make some calls.... Then I'll come right back, okay, Sammy?"_

_".... All right...."_

_Dean's lingering hope for his brother was hanging by a thread, as the older vampire could only frown. "Okay...." he sighed grimly, stepping out of the room. At least Sam wouldn't be able to see the stinging tears in his eyes anyway._

Dumping the car he had hotwired for his destination, Sam resumed the rest of the way on foot, his glowing eyes staring straight ahead in the woods. It seemed like a brief blur, and honestly it was, to see one of his old friends after so long in solitude. She changed a lot from the last time, even chopped off her dark red hair to go for a 'Willow from _Buffy_ ' look in her joking opinion. And dating a mixblood vampire nonetheless who was into vintage fashion from the 1930s.

But his friend was concerned for him and Dean, wondering why she was asked to make fake identities for some guy they were helping. She asked Sam if this will get them into trouble with the other purebloods but Sam assured her that it won't. He hoped that it wouldn't worry her that much to the point that she would look up Castiel's true identity, but he trusted her.

Now that he had gotten the documents, Sam realized that Castiel will leave very soon. Meaning by the time the priest's memories are back, they will drop him off to Utah and resort back to their job. "...." These Men of Letter, he must find the ones who are still alive, if they have any clue of what their grandfather had left behind.

There was a strong uncertain question about this, however. How will the other purebloods benefit from this? What would be the point if they grab it for themselves while he and Dean might still be wallowing in their own despair? Deep down, he was afraid that they will kill him off soon after they were finished. Either that, or another form of servitude as long as Dean was willing to keep him alive. At least until he gets succumbed into his own darkness.

Sam sighed heavily as he reached the cabin and almost immediately Dean opened the door. "Hey Dean-- what's wrong....?" he greeted but halted when he noticed the distressed look on his face.

"It's Cas, Sammy...." frowned Dean, and the taller vampire blinked at that.

"What happened?" he frowned back. He had a half of mind thinking that it was Dean's doing once again, but by the look of it he felt concerned. "Does it.... have to do with his memories, Dean?"

"Yeah...." he nodded as Sam stepped inside. "He's up in your office. But, Sam, I gotta tell you something."

"What?"

".... Don't get mad--"

"What did you do?" he instantly frowned with annoyance and his brother shook his head.

"Nothing's wrong, fuck.... Cas offered me his blood and I, well...." sighed Dean.

".... Did that trigger something about his memories?" he muttered, slightly surprised of the initial meaning.

"No, it was afterwards...." Dean sighed, before frowning a bit. "I mentioned some shit about priests and outta nowhere he spazzed out, saying that it was his own priest who hurt him. And, fuck, I'm not sure what to make of this."

"Well.... this is something, all right," Sam sighed deeply as he took in the explanation, his eyebrows furrowed with worry. "Has he managed to get it, his memories?"

"No, Sammy, but not yet...." he huffed as he moved for the fridge, he had already drunk two bottles of beer and went for the third. "Maybe.... I don't even know. I can't believe it...."

"So.... What does this mean? His priest thrashed him, for what?" frowned Sam. "If that's the case, I could understand why he and his mother bailed out of Illinois. An occupation like that, they're seen as being morally superior, who would believe that a priest would do such a thing?"

"I know, that's the fucked up part," snorted Dean. "Priest or not, I would smash that asshole's fingers until it's ground beef...." There it was again, the need to get close to Castiel was obvious, as he let off a low growl.

".... I got the papers and the ID, Cas is set to leave soon," Sam muttered, changing the subject as he took out the documents from his jacket pocket. The third beer was already gone as Dean took it and looked over it. Holding up the Utah-based identification card, he stared at the awkward wide-eyed portrait of Castiel. Awkward yet a bit lost, already unsure of his upcoming new life.

"Tch...."

"What's wrong now?" asked Sam.

"Nothing, I just.... Call Cas, his dinner has been sitting here for the past hour," he sighed. Sam looked at him quizzically for a second, but nodded as he moved for upstairs. Dean let out a deep heavy sigh, wondering about this new predicament. If he gives Castiel his blood the next night, and the priest managed to get back those specific memories, what then? Would it cause more trauma than before?

He glanced up out of reflex when Castiel came downstairs, the bright yet tired gleam of the sapphire eyes was evident when he glanced back at him. "Sorry.... I was distracted by my reading," he sighed.

"It's okay, Cas, I'm sure the patty melt is still warm," Dean smiled a bit.

"It'd be nice if you have a dinner with me, Dean...." the priest pointed out as he sat down, and Dean couldn't help shrugging.

"Should've made one myself, I was just.... just worried about you, Padre," he muttered, sitting across from him. Instead of starting to eat, Castiel just prodded at the warm sandwich and looked down. ".... The, uh, time to leave is coming soon, Cas. Sammy already got your fake ID and shit. But the only thing that matters is, well.... if you wanna get that one memory."

".... I'm not sure what to think of it, Dean," sighed Castiel. "I'm not wrong on this. I mean, it's there but it feels so vague and scattered. If.... this was the reason why my mother fled from Illinois, then I must know why."

"Yeah, I get that," frowned Dean. "But what happens after that, Cas....? It will fuck you up in more ways than one. It might make you wish that you'd rather have amnesia, do you still wanna take this one risk?"

".... Of course," Castiel nodded soberly.

"Fuck...."

"Are you really that concerned, Dean?" asked Castiel. "If it's the blood thing that bothers you--"

"It's okay. I could feel concern about this," nodded Dean. "Just that you're a pretty sensitive guy, whereas me and Sammy went through rough shit not even Guantanamo Bay wouldn't touch." Of course, that much was true. Castiel understood that some sort of torture the brothers went through was unimaginable, although he wondered what. He got the gist that the other purebloods had forced them into a deal. Which was what exactly, he didn't have a clue about it.

".... _Why_ are you here in Montana, Dean?" realized Castiel, and Dean blinked at that in surprise. "Why do those purebloods want you here, over some deal....?"

"I.... Cas, you wouldn't understand," frowned Dean.

"Compared to the other situations upon us, what's not to understand?" he asked. Dean frowned at that, but that much was true. "Dean? First your kind shunned you and Sam throughout your lives, then all of the sudden they wanted you to do something. Or rather forced you to, if they threatened to do something to both of you...."

"Isn't it obvious, Cas?" he sighed heavily, his eyes briefly caught attention of Sam who was stealthily halfway down the stairs. The younger vampire narrowed his glowing eyes at the topic but in no way hostile of it. "After all, they executed our grandmother, what couldn't they do....?"

"Then.... can I ask why they forced you on this deal, Dean?" the priest questioned carefully, finally picking up the sandwich to eat.

"Well...." Dean muttered, glancing up again without Castiel's knowledge. Sam was silent with his jaw clenching tightly. But again, he wasn't hostile, as he consented with a nod. "This deal, Cas.... it involves Grandfather Henry's legacy. And we have to find out what it is."

"And.... what sort of legacy you believe it to be?" asked Castiel.

"Who knows? Mom's side of the family got the dough meant for her, that's why we're broke," he shrugged. "But.... this legacy that they mentioned, it's probably just a rumored secret inheritance that nobody knew of, maybe not even Dad knew. And what could it be? It could be a horde of Nazi gold for all I give a shit, it won't matter afterwards. It'd be useless to us.... because once we find it, we would have to give it to those ass-monkeys anyway."

"Oh...." Three bites in, and Castiel suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore, putting down his food as he looked at him. "This legacy, you said.... it belongs to you and Sam, why would they demand something so personal out of you?" he frowned.

"It's not really personal if all we've done was scratching the surface of finding the damn thing," he huffed tiredly.

"But still--"

"What can we do about it, Cas? There's just no way outta this," sighed Dean. "Once they got what they want, there's a good chance that.... Well, you can guess what."

".... Then why not flee or something?" muttered Castiel.

"They know our contacts, what little friends we got," he frowned grimly. "If we dare to get outta this deal, they'll kill them and they'll lock Sam away. We can't flee, we can't beat them. It's just.... Even if we wanted to, it's just the two of us against the rest of the purebloods, Cas. Well, not the rest but enough to chain us down...." Just enough, Castiel got that as he sported a grim frown of his own. He wondered if there were any other purebloods who would try to help them but he quickly thought against it.

They didn't try to help them back when they were little, when their mother was murdered and when their father succumbed to alcoholism. ".... Should you find this inheritance of yours, Dean, it shouldn't have to mean that you'll roll over and die," he sighed, looking straight at his eyes.

"Cas--"

"Please, just listen to me for a second," nodded Castiel before taking a deep sigh. "You're doing this to protect yourself and protect Sam, I get that now. But.... As you're doing this, maybe you should find a way to protect whoever you care about as well. Like have them discreet away from the eyes of the purebloods. Your kind cannot watch them for every second, right?"

".... That's a good idea, but a naive one at that," Dean said, with a small smile before shaking his head. "Bobby's a hunter, they knew of him for a long time. Plus there's a couple of other hunters that are our friends-- one of which got a mother who runs a bar full of vampire hunters. And the one who made your fake ID-- she was unknowingly working for a tightwad mixblood in a shitty food corp company before we bailed her out. What I'm saying is, Cas, it may not look like it but the purebloods and the cocksuckers working for them pretty much controlled half of this country. They practically got surveillance on those who may pose a threat, and on us obviously. The only thing they don't have is fucking Alaska and Wal-mart...."

His explanation ended with a bitter scoff, his jaw muscles taut as he glared away. ".... I appreciate your concern but.... these people, they don't want us around any longer. They hate us, and I honestly don't know why when they were the ones who locked up our grandmother instead of just trying to help her," he muttered. "After all, there's not much of us, so why have us dead....?"

"Dean...."

"The Alighieris, they specifically want us dead," Sam finally spoke up, greatly startling the priest who looked over his shoulders.

"Sam? You were listening?" he questioned with widened eyes. But Sam smiled sadly, as he walked the rest of the way down.

"They're the top of the top of the vampire world.... Their family is as old as ours, but for some reasons they practically ruled over most of the purebloods here," he explained quietly. "Not sure how or why, the family probably did it long before our dad was born. And they're far different from Henry, who wanted nothing but peace and co-existence with the humans. They only care about their own skin, seeing humans as nothing but a surplus of servitude and food while lording over the mixbloods like it's the Middle Ages."

"Sammy...." Dean warned gently. But Castiel blinked in slight confusion before looking at the other vampire.

"Alighieri, like that Italian author who had written those biblical tales centuries ago....?" he questioned. Dean blinked at that, not exactly expecting Castiel to get that. "Don't tell me that this family is related to him, right?"

"Well, more or less, but who knows," frowned Dean. "They're stuck like it's the fucking Middle Ages, like Sammy said. Hell, I've heard stories of Henry butting heads with the family over the different ideas they had but I'm not sure if that was enough reasons to wipe us off. Or maybe there's something else, but we would never know, they wouldn't bother to tell us anyway...." "Dean's right, it doesn't really matter, Cas," sighed Sam. "They hold the reins and the others pretty much follow them. There's just no point of convincing the others to help us...."\

"But that is unfair...." Castiel frowned in disbelief, looking back at Sam. "If there were some who would want to help--"

"Their heads would be on a plate," Sam muttered grimly. "It had happened before with this one guy-- a human who had associated with us during my.... episodes, and he tried to help. Which is why we can't have what's left of our friends help us out on this, it'd just be more torture for us." The explanation was clear and obvious, but it made Castiel sick to his stomach. The public was practically being ruled by vampires yet anyone knowing of their existence could be wiped out indefinitely.

Including him....

But then he remembered the talk between the brothers, of them erasing his memories of being here. He grimaced at the thought of it, what was the point of regaining his childhood memories only to get parts of his recent ones wiped from his mind? "Cas? What's wrong, is it something Sam said?" Dean asked worriedly, catching his attention.

".... If, if I could ask permission, may I get some fresh air?" he muttered, his sapphire eyes gazed at the older vampire. Dean stared back, nearly gulping at the imploring look. It should be fair, it had been a while since Castiel had stepped out. It was a simple request, maybe.

"S-sure...." he nodded, standing up. Sam blinked at his brother's behavior, but said nothing as he watched the priest following suit before the two went for the door. It might be the blood that was making them act that way, but the closeness was there if Dean easily consented to Castiel's request like that

As they stepped out, a low buzzing of insects could be heard as Dean glanced around with his glowing eyes. He vaguely wondered if fire-flies were around, the thought of it had never really came up since being here. But it made him briefly think about the childhood memories where he and Sam can afford to have fun. ".... About that stuff, what you got outta it because of what I said...." he muttered, and Castiel looked at him in slight surprise.

"What you said....?" he questioned.

"I was just fucking around with the priest thing but I didn't expect that to trigger something within you, honestly," he shrugged. "If.... we were to do this tomorrow night, no regrets, then that's one step further of you leaving us."

".... I'm aware of that...." Castiel nodded in realization, looking around in the dark clearing. He briefly wondered of what was it like to see the darkness as clearly as Dean. He then glanced up at the night sky, it was clear with a few twinkling stars in in the ink-black sky. "Can.... you see the stars clearly, Dean?"

"Hm? Yeah, I guess.... If it's pretty enough, I'd park Baby over and me and Sammy would stare up like it's fucking _Star Trek_ ," he mused soberly. "I guess.... it's different for us than you humans, we could see galaxies easily yet you guys could barely stare past the street lights."

".... I remembered his name, Dean."

"Wh-what....?" That caught Dean's attention, as the vampire stared at him with widened glowing eyes.

"The priest.... I've been in that church since I was four or five, he has been an influence for me and my mother soon after the death of my father," he muttered, still looking at the sky. "He was.... a good man, that was what I assumed.... I volunteered at his church, as one of the altar boys."

"Yeah, you told me that part," he nodded.

"But that's it, Dean, I've been trying to gather that one significant event, but.... It's still blank," Castiel frowned.

".... You remember the guy's name, you said? Cas?"

"If I were to tell you, there's a good chance that you would try to track him down," he assumed as he glanced at him. "You were tempted to do so earlier today, Dean, and why is that? Because of the blood....?"

".... I don't know anymore, but if I could, I'd punch his block off," he sighed heavily.

"Right but.... Tomorrow, I'll be ready for it, Dean," nodded Castiel, turning to walk back to the cabin. "Sorry for making the dinner you made cold, but I'll finish it...." Dean barely made an effort to watch him go, he didn't want to be tempted to do so. He couldn't believe that he agreed to Castiel's request, even though it was just a few moments for fresh air.

He frowned. The way Castiel was behaving around him was getting to him. He could still taste the blood on his, it was so sweet and savory and delicious. It had changed a lot in the matter of days, and he mentally admitted that he craved for more. Pursing his lips, he gazed at the small garage. Maybe a drive could calm him down, to take away the lingering feelings for Castiel.

No, not romantic feelings, he thought to himself with a shake of his head. As if there was such a thing for him. It had happened to him a far few times, but that was it. That was enough. Who would want to devote their life to someone who was practically damaged goods....? Dean wasn't worth it, not for what he had done for the past several years, let alone to Cas for the past month.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The windows were sealed shut, so it was obvious that the cabin would be very warm without much circulation. Castiel wondered how the brothers had slept through the summer months. Around here may be surrounded by thick forestation and mountains, but it could still get an occasional heat wave. He woke up with disgruntlement the next day, a damp feeling of sweat was on the back of his neck as he huffed.

He got off the air mattress, vaguely aware that it was the afternoon already. But at least the much needed rest made him hungry, but first he needed to relieve himself and turned for the stairs. As he stepped into the bathroom, his tired eyes blinked at the sight of the electric razor Dean had bought. It was left on the sink, where he could see a few bits of reddish strands.

"Huh...." Castiel realized that Dean had used it. He had been growing the beard for the past few weeks, and the priest was used to looking at him as such. But he wondered, why the sudden change? A few hours later, with the sun just now starting to set, he was reading another book when he heard soft footsteps down the stairs. He glanced and blinked at the sight in mild surprise.

Dean, now appearing as he was when he had first met him. The clean-shaven look actually made him look youthful, but the appearance did little for Dean. His face full of concern as he glanced at Castiel. "Hey, Cas...." he muttered, walking up to him.

"Good Evening, Dean," nodded Castiel.

"Um, sorry about using the razor earlier but on the bright side, at least I didn't use it for the carpet," he smirked a bit.

"Carpet? You only got a small rug in the bathroom," Castiel frowned in slight confusion. Despite the worried feeling in his gut, Dean couldn't help but chuckle.

"Adorable...." he sighed, going for the fridge and taking out a transfusion bag. "So.... Are you feeling okay, Cas?" he asked.

"Uh, yes, I feel fine, Dean."

"Just asking.... because tonight that I do this, if you get your memories completely, then what do you wanna do?" asked Dean, moving to sit across from him. "I mean, we could send you off to Utah, but if you want.... we could tell you which states with the least amount of vampires are in, to go to. Would you like that?"

"Hmm.... I'd like that, but considering your concerns I believe Utah is the safest bet," nodded Castiel. Closing his book, he remembered now. The brothers wanted to have him compelled, to forget his time here and warp his identity. He should tell Dean, that he was aware of the other plan, but the opportunity fell when Sam suddenly came downstairs.

"Hey, you got a second, Dean....?" he muttered. His tone almost secretive yet surprised, and that caught Dean's attention as he glanced up at him.

"What happened, Sammy?"

"It's about.... Henry's stuff," Sam muttered cryptically. Dean's eyes narrowed but got up to follow after him back to the second floor. That left Castiel alone with a worried but impatient frown. He should have brought it up the first time around but he guessed he would have to wait. Meantime, the brothers slipped into the office, the older vampire frowning in surprise as Sam sat down by the desk.

"What's happening, Sam, what about Henry....?" he muttered as he began to drink the blood.

"I've tried to find any remote and obscure info on him, Dean, but like all facts on us vampires nothing exactly popped up," sighed Sam. "At least on the purebloods, history's got a knack on a few mixbloods and even turned humans that our kind is aware of. But.... nothing on Henry even though he was a scholar."

"Okay, you've told me something like that back when we first started, Sammy...." nodded Dean.

"But that was before I found this Men of Letters thing, which was that itself a fluke," he replied, typing away on his laptop. "I searched for lists of scholars and geniuses, and again, it was a fluke.... See?"

"Hmm?" Dean hunched over Sam's shoulder and blinked in mild surprise at the screen. "Is that--"

"Grandpa Henry in the not-so flesh," Sam quirked. Two sets of eyes were on an old sierra photograph dating back to the late forties. A group of men posed diligently in front of what looked like an educational institution, many of them were middle-aged or elderly. Except for the one in the middle, appearing as a man in his early thirties with dark neat hair and sharp features that seemed similar to their father's facial appearance.

".... You sure that's him, Sam?" muttered Dean.

"Front and center, named 'Henry Winchester', according to the picture," Sam sighed. "But that's all I can find of him photo-wise, the others could've burned his stuff along with the Knight family's existence."

"Tch, so no Ancestry.com shit for us....?" he huffed.

"Yeah but get this.... Look at this, right on his blazer, Dean." He popped up a file that was already opened, showing a close-up of the right lapel of their grandfather's suit. "This was it, of how I found out about the Men of Letters...."

"What's that, some kinda badge?" frowned Dean.

"Some pin.... It looked like a pagan symbol so I pulled a _DaVinci Code_ and scoured through the books and internet, even asked for Bobby's help," nodded the younger brother. "Kind of difficult, nearly got confused because that Japanese nonsense you would watch had the exact same symbol in one show...."

"Pbbt, whatever...."

"Anyway.... For once, your dumb anime shit was onto something," Sam shrugged, popping up images of the six-pointed symbol from his typing. "It's an Unicursal Hexagram aka the Aquarian Star. It's a pagan symbol, yeah, but it's rumored to be similar to the Star of David-- that itself is based on pagan symbols. And look at this.... This is the symbol of Freemasonry, look."

"Okay.... Looks like a bendy ruler and that measuring compass thing, something a carpenter would have," Dean muttered and made a face at the symbol on the screen.

"The Men of Letters seemed to have the right idea, the shape of it looks similar. But I'm not exactly sure how or when did they establish," Sam pointed out. "I mean, everyone's aware of these weird but conspicuous orders like the Freemasons or the Illuminati, but these guys were hiding in full view."

"Something that the other purebloods probably didn't know," frowned the older vampire, finishing up the transfusion bag.

"Or.... Maybe they did, but couldn't do anything about it," Sam muttered, with a grim frown. "Until Henry died at least...." Dean frowned as well. Of course their grandfather associated with humans and even hunters, a kind of thing that would make their kind repulsed with disbelief and shame. "You think that's why they wanted us to do this, being Henry's grandkids that we would gain trusts of those who are still alive?"

"Well, they always like to play a dirty hand, so what do you expect....?" sighed Dean as he stood up straight. "Is there more you wanna tell me, Sammy?"

"No, this is what I've gotten so far, sorry...."

"Hmm, all right, I'll go see what Cas is up to," he nodded as he turned for the door.

"You'll do it tonight, right....?" Sam asked quietly and Dean paused. "You'll feed him your blood and then he'll remember more, maybe all at once this time...."

"Yeah, I know," Dean sighed deeply. Stepping out of the office, he internally grimaced. Partially, he didn't want to do this again, fearing of seeing Castiel convulsing and writhing from the traumatic flashbacks. And the thought of the priest gaining the memories of his true injuries was something he was dreading about. He went back downstairs, and instantly noticed Castiel acting fretful with him pacing around the kitchen.

"Cas?" frowned Dean. Castiel glanced over at him, the sapphire-blue eyes glistened brightly before looking away. "Something wrong? Is it about tonight, of me doing the thing with you?"

"Actually.... it's not about that, Dean," he sighed deeply.

"Then what?" Dean frowned in mild confusion, and Castiel fidgeted with his fingers.

".... Just.... please don't do it, Dean," he mumbled and the vampire blinked at that.

"Don't do what....? The blood thing--"

"I know, Dean, that you're considering wiping my memories of being here," he said. The instant he said that, Dean's eyes seemed to glow brightly in surprise. His jaw muscles taut, as Dean stood frozen. ".... Please don't deny it, Dean," sighed Castiel. "I've been aware of it for some time now.... I've heard that you and Sam had been talking about taking away my memory all the while helping me to get it. I don't understand why."

".... Cas, I can explain," Dean excused with a worried frown.

"Okay, please explain, Dean."

Dean frowned again, mostly because he had expected the human to be angry and hurt over this. But Castiel was patient enough to hear him out, staring at him intently. ".... I ain't got nothing," he apologized with a shake of his head. "What's happening to you, we're still in the dark about this. That one fluke of me snipping out just ten minutes out of your mind, that was easy. I've never-- I mean, taking out an entire month is so much to handle."

"So are you saying that you would do it if it were to be easy?" questioned Castiel and Dean shrugged. "Are you willing to do it now, as you wish you would have the first time we've met?"

"Fuck, Cas, I-- I dunno....!" Dean huffed. "It's different now, I can't find myself _wanting_ to do it! I _have_ to, because of your awareness of us....!"

"But why, Dean?" sighed Castiel and Dean blinked at that. "You and Sam practically told me of your terrible upbringings, that both of you are bound to a near-impossible task by the other vampires. Along with Sam's illness due to the family curse, that is one of the reasons why you're here.... You trust me enough to tell me such things, and yet you would rather erase said trust?"

"...." Dean didn't think of it like that, as he glanced away. In all fairness, Dean barely knew him, never really asked him about his family and childhood except if it was about his dreams. Castiel saw him trustworthy and to take away his memories of that, it would appear to be cruel. ".... So what you're saying is that I simply drop the idea, Cas?" he muttered.

".... Do what you must, Dean," Castiel replied quietly. "But I don't fear you anymore. I'm aware of the existence of vampires, yes, but I highly doubt that I would dare to reveal it. When this is all over.... Once I've gotten my memories back, I promise that I won't look back. I will go on with my new life, but...."

"What, Cas....?"

"Just don't give on yourself, if you and Sam find what you were looking for," he advised and the vampire looked up at him in surprise. "I just.... can't help feeling guilty if I were to leave here knowing that you guys are in dire strait. Whether I'm saying it as a priest or if I'm still influenced by your blood, it's the truth. I believe someone like you should have some happiness in their life."

".... You're a good guy, Cas," sighed Dean, with a small sad smile like last night. "Too bad I've never noticed it the first time we met." Castiel noticed his tone, fearing that Dean was still pessimistic as before. Something he wished he could do something about it, influence or not. ".... C'mon, let's get this show on the road, Cas," the vampire sighed heavily as he walked toward the couch and sat down. Castiel nodded eventually and moved to sit next to him, watching him pulling up his sleeve to reveal his wrist.

"Did.... didn't you mention that you drinking my blood and then feeding me yours would do something to me?" muttered the human just as Dean lifted his wrist.

"Huh? Oh, right.... It has to be consistent, like an immediate back-to-back type of thing," Dean sighed. "You ain't gonna be a turned vampire or a ghoul or anything like that, Cas. It should be safe for now...."

".... Okay," nodded Castiel. Dean nodded back, then he bared out his teeth before biting into the flesh. A thick trickle of blood oozed down his arm when he pulled away with a growl. The priest couldn't help grimace a bit. He had done it this way the first two times, counting the one he couldn't remember, and to do this one more time....

With a deep breath, Castiel grasped Dean's hand and leaned forward. He pressed his lips on the bitten skin, the dark bitter taste instantly on his tongue as he then took a hesitant gulp. The wound was already healing up fast but he took another gulp. The small amount should be enough. "Cas....?" frowned Dean when Castiel pulled back, coughing a little from the tar-like blood. "You okay, dude?"

"I-I'm fine...." croaked Castiel.

"You sure? I'll go get you some water," suggested Dean and the priest nodded in agreement as they stood up. "So.... no nauseating side-effects at the moment....?" he muttered.

"No, I mean, aside from the terrible taste of blood...." mumbled Castiel. He wasn't feeling drowsy as before or not even agitated like the last time. He felt.... rather neutral. "Thank you...." he sighed when he was given the glass and drank the water.

"Um.... Are you okay, Cas?" he frowned in concern, his glowing eyes on him. He just now realized that they were nearly identical in height but he looked down at the focused expression on Castiel's face.

"I.... I'm not sure," he admitted.

"What do you mean?" frowned Dean.

"Nothing's.... happening, not to me at the moment," he clarified, staring back at him. Dean narrowed his eyes in confusion. Humans and even mixbloods would crack out over a pureblood's blood even on the smallest amount. But Castiel seemed more or less the same, even though he still grimaced on the taste. "Do I look different, Dean?"

"You look a little ruddy but that's just it," shrugged the vampire.

"I see...." Castiel just stood there. He didn't feel lethargic enough to fall asleep, and he was worried. The last time he felt wired it was because Dean's presence wasn't around to calm him down. But Dean was right here, and he wasn't exactly feeling better. "Maybe.... you should compel me into going to sleep, Dean, to see if I would get the memory," he suggested.

".... Hmm, I had a feeling about that," Dean sighed heavily. "But.... Are you really feeling okay, Cas? I mean, I didn't take a lot outta you last night but you gotta feel warped out from drinking my blood."

"That's the thing, Dean, I just don't feel... like that," muttered Castiel, frowning a bit. Dean frowned also, the blood was usually immediate to work. But.... what was it? Does it react differently on humans than on the mixbloods?

".... Okay," sighed Dean, his eyes glowed brightly as he stared to Castiel's widened ones. " _Castiel_.... I'd like for you to go to sleep, now...." he muttered in an even tone.

"Ah...." Castiel swayed forward, but Dean instantly caught him by the shoulders.

"Geez, this is tiring," he huffed, holding the priest up with ease as he carried him to the couch. "There, Padre...."

"...." Castiel was out, snoring softly once Dean settled him onto the furniture. Despite being forced to sleep, he appeared peaceful but Dean frowned. He would have to wait and see for now, he thought of it.

".... So, how long we got to wait?" muttered Sam, suddenly coming down the stairs.

"Dunno, until he wakes up screaming like a banshee," frowned Dean. He stared down at Castiel's expression once more, watching the slightly chapped lips parted to breathe.

"Dean, you can admit it, though...." sighed Sam. "You're feeling something for Cas, since I'm not getting any attraction towards him since being here...."

"Yeah, well you're the straight one here--"

"No, I mean.... Aside from my dark side trying to edge out, I've no reasons wanting to drink from him," shrugged Sam with a concerned frown. "It sounds like one of those myths with vampires being attractive toward certain humans, huh?"

"Hm, you'd think there's a science behind it, Sammy," sighed Dean, sitting on the armrest of the couch.

"Maybe but we'll never know...."

".... Even if it was a different circumstance, I'm not exactly sure if me and Cas could be friends," he muttered, remembering last night's conversation. "I shouldn't have taken him from his hometown, my pride got in the way and shit.... I should've left him alone, Sammy."

"I get it, Dean...." nodded his little brother. "But.... once Cas is all healed up, you should apologize to him. One more time, just in case."

"Yeah.... you're right...."

".... You're a good guy, Dean," muttered Sam and Dean glanced up at him in slight confusion. "Look.... The things I've said to you a while back--"

"I got it. You saw me getting worse, and you set me straight," he sighed. "We're caged in, there's no way we will get a sigh of relief outta this, Sam.... The best we can do now is wait for Cas to heal up."

"I've heard.... We don't have to compel him, not when he's getting his memories back, Dean," Sam considered. "Tomorrow, we'll call up Bobby. See if he can help us on this."

"Sure," nodded Dean. "We should've done that in the first place."

"He'd understand."

"After tearing us a new one," he snorted.

"Still...."

".... You're right, Sammy," muttered Dean, looking down at the sleeping priest. "As always.... we have to wait and see...."

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_A fat bumblebee buzzed lazily until it settled onto a flower, but fumbled off when its weight proved to be a tad too heavy for the plant. Castiel watched it all and giggled over the brief distraction. That was one of his quirks, he always had a thing with certain insects. With butterflies and bees and even worms, maybe it was a boy thing to like bugs. But he didn't mind, the Lord created them to make the garden behind the church beautiful._

_"Castiel....!"_

_Castiel glanced over his shoulder and saw the man, clad in black priestly garb, right above him. He blinked in surprise, he hadn't expected to get snuck up like that. "Oh, I didn't hear you, Father....!" he chided._

_"Sorry, you were so enthralled by the bee, I didn't want to bother you," he grinned._

_"Oh, okay...." the ten-year-old nodded, although he didn't feel convinced of the priest's words. He stood up, still feeling a tad uneasy by the hovering. It had been happening for the past few weeks, but he wasn't exactly sure what to think of it. After all he didn't mind helping out at the church after school. Better than staying in his house all alone on most days._

_"Tell me, Castiel.... What's on your mind?" the priest asked and Castiel blinked at him._

_"Hm? What do you mean?" he inquired curiously._

_"Like.... Have you been well? Any trouble with school and such?"_

_"Um.... No, I've been doing well on my schoolwork," he nodded, as they walked back to the church. "My grades were pretty okay, I guess."_

_"But.... you haven't been trying to make friends, Castiel?" asked the priest. "You can't be that lonely at your age."_

_".... I'm fine, Father," muttered Castiel, glancing away. "It's nothing, really."_

_"I see...." Castiel felt a sudden shudder when the priest placed his hand on his shoulder, the fingers close to caress the back of his neck. It was a weird feeling, but the child wasn't sure if it was a bad one. They walked down a small hallway, to the man's office, where the priest went for his notebooks for the coming week's sermon. "It's not like I have a problem with it, but you don't seem to mind socializing with the other altar boys, Castiel."_

_"Oh, I know that, Father, but...." Castiel mumbled. "They usually got things to do after school. I'm not exactly good at sports anyway."_

_"Hmm, if you believe so...." his priest nodded. The boy frowned at the dismissive tone. It wasn't his fault that he wasn't physically good at outdoor activities. Even in gym, he was rather clumsy no matter how hard he tried._

_"At least I'm good at riding my bike," he shrugged, crystal-blue eyes wandered around the office. "So, Father.... Mom told me that you needed help with something, right? About what, I thought we were done after Easter." That was usually the case, he wasn't much help during the warmer months, when half of the parishioners were on vacations as soon as school closed._

_"I know that, Castiel, but.... I was considering, you know, a part-time thing for the summer," nodded the priest. "I mean, your mother mentioned that last year, you haven't done much other than reading."_

_".... I didn't mind, Father," muttered Castiel. "And what do you mean a part-time thing, like a job or something....?"_

_"Well, sure. If you're interested, my child," he nodded._

_"Oh. Um...." The thought of it made Castiel a tad indecisive, as he scrunched up his nose. He didn't mind helping out at the church but at the same time he liked to read without much distraction. And being paid for already volunteering didn't seem to make sense to him. Maybe it was a lesson to learn how to earn money, and if that's the case then he wouldn't mind._

_"Castiel?"_

_"Hm, okay I guess, Father," he nodded. "When do I start....?"_

_"Oh, I believe today," nodded the priest with a light smile. "That's why I called you here. Is there any reason why you shouldn't?"_

_"Uh, no, Father, I don't mind," nodded Castiel. That made the priest grinned more, something that the young boy seemed a bit wary and perplexed. As if sensing his nervousness, he simply walked up to him. "Hm, Father....?"_

_"I know a way.... to make you feel better about this, Castiel...."_

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Dean...." warned Sam, the moment both brothers heard Castiel's heart rate getting faster. Barely an hour in, and already another set of suppressed memories was coming out. Dean was already on his feet but stilled himself, his glowing eyes right on the couch across from him. "Just give it time, Dean.... Cas asked to endure it this time," he muttered.

"I know that...." Dean couldn't help but grimace when Castiel started to squirm in his sleep, with his calm face tensing up. Just forcing himself not to go to him was making him anxious. Feeling like that so many times before was eating at him, as he couldn't look at Sam in the eye at the moment. After that Ruby fiasco and Sam hiding himself away, his constant hovering over his little brother caused a blowout between them once again. Him being worried for Castiel felt similar to that, but deep down....

"Just wait, okay...." nodded Sam. He was just as concerned but he sat by the kitchen table and tapped his fingers on the solid surface. "We promised Cas that he wanted to do this. It'll be okay."

"Tch, there's no such thing...." he sighed. Castiel could be optimistic, but Dean could see the reality of having a trauma in one's life. He had lived it, and trying to get past it was practically impossible, even for a vampire. Sam was aware of his reservation but said nothing of it. He knew what he was thinking. "Do you think.... whatever it is, we should try to keep helping him? I mean, just sending him off soon after this.... it doesn't feel right."

"To you?" implied Sam and Dean huffed in slight annoyance. "Sorry but this is really weird. I mean.... I have never felt that form of attraction with other humans of either gender. Is that how it was with you before Cas?"

".... No, I mean with some of the humans, their blood were okay and the scents weren't that bad. I've been sucking on them since I was eighteen, and up until now.... Nothing much aside from one-night stands or a brief relationship or two. But...."

"Dean....?"

"He's.... not like us, not as vampires I mean," he rephrased with a tired huff. "This shit we're doing to him, it's nothing but just false feelings. What Cas is feeling-- it ain't for real. And other than that, he's a priest. There's no way he could like me like _that_...."

"But, maybe when the brain damage is fully cured, Cas won't probably regret any dormant feelings he might have--" Sam assured when Dean walked for the fridge.

"Or maybe that's just it, Cas haven't been attracted to anybody since hitting puberty," he grumbled, taking out the beer to drink. He stiffened a bit when Castiel's breathing quickened, but not much movement. ".... Maybe he's one of those humans without much sex drive. Sounds like a safe bet to be a priest, not that he could stay as one once we hitch to Utah."

"Yeah, well, if he's still the same as he was before, then you don't have to worry," Sam nodded.

".... But I'm fucking worrying now, it doesn't matter," he sighed deeply, taking a long swig. It was then he suddenly heard a gasping moan out of Castiel. "Cas....?" Dean muttered in alarm but he couldn't move forward when Sam grabbed him by the arm and he looked at him. "Sam--"

"We promised, Dean...." warned Sam. Dean clenched his jaw but Sam was right. Castiel wanted to go this far, trauma be damned. The priest's heart was thumping faster, along with a faint scent of fear due to the dream.

"Fuck...." he gritted softly. It was getting stronger, and he didn't like it one bit.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

_Castiel gasped heavily for breath, his legs felt like lead as he attempted to rush for the side exit. He felt so sick, he wanted to throw up. But he wanted to get out of here fast. "Ahh....!" the boy winced out when he was roughly grabbed by the arm and he instantly struggled. "Please stop....!" he yelped out, widened teary eyes at the priest. "Just let me go home please, Father....!"_

_"Stop struggling about it, Castiel...." the priest grunted, although his tone was much too calm. "I called you here to see if you agreed to this.... Even some of the boys had done this."_

_"I-I changed my mind....! I don't want this, Father....!" whimpered Castiel. The juice he was given earlier was making him sluggish. As the matter of fact, it tasted bland and bitter, almost like medicine. Whatever it was, it made him afraid of what was happening to him. "N-no....! Let me go....!" he yelled out, managing to wrestle out of his hold. He darted around the corner, to the main area. The young boy tried to force his heavy legs past the pews for the other exit, but the man despite his age managed to grab ahold of the back of his shirt._

_"Ahh....!" Castiel yelped out and tripped forward, close to the steps toward the pulpit. He fell but he tried to react quickly in an attempt to get up._

_"Stop it, boy! You're making it worse....!" he gritted. Castiel yelped out when he was grabbed by an ankle._

_"N-no! Stop it....!" cried Castiel, trying to kick him off. Absolute fear was pumping throughout his body. The man he trusted was turning into something he couldn't have known before. Almost like.... a monster. "Please stop! I don't want this, Father!" He managed to kick the priest in the shin, freeing his ankle in the process. He crawled up the small steps but a vertigo-like feeling suddenly hit him. His vision blurred as his limbs dared to give way._

_"It's kicking in, good...."_

_"S-stop.... I don't want this, please," he whimpered out, his words beginning to slur._

_"Just relax, Castiel.... This will all be nothing but a dream, okay....?"_

_"Ah!" The boy's legs were grabbed and he suddenly pulled down the steps. A loud whack was heard; Castiel hit his head on the solid wooden steps. Pain instantly throbbed, as he cried out. "It hurts....!"_

_"Shit....!" cursed the man, but Castiel was barely aware of the swearing as he cried in pain. It felt like there was something damp in his scalp, at the side of his head. "If you haven't panicked, you wouldn't have hurt yourself....!"_

_"S-stop....!" cried Castiel, but his body wasn't reacting as the priest lifted him up by the front of his shirt._

_"Come on....!" the priest scoffed. Castiel sobbed, mostly in pain, as he was practically dragged back to the office. "Thought you were a good kid, Castiel.... Giving me so much trouble for this," he muttered. Castiel could feel the wet trickling down his neck but his disturbing concerns were on himself being forced on the desk, items haphazardly pushed off._

_"P-please...." he wheezed._

_"Shut up, Castiel...." he grunted, not caring of the boy's current condition at the moment. Castiel gasped painfully, his vision blurring in and out. The pain getting stronger and stronger, he was barely aware of the rough tugging of his jeans...._

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Castiel gasped and choked for air, writhing on the couch but wasn't waking up from the nightmare. The heartbeats were erratic and uneven, causing the impatient tick within Dean. Something wasn't right, as he glared over at Sam who stood up at the sudden change. "Now....?!" he gritted, and Sam made a tense face.

"Don't even know...." he muttered.

"Fucking hell, Sam--"

"I just.... don't know, Dean," he breathed with true concern. "Don't they say not to wake people up from violent nightmares? I'm not sure if we should do it, not yet...." Dean growled at that, his fists tightened by his sides as he turned back to the couch.

"What if he falls off the couch or something?" he scoffed in frustration.

"Then you'll catch him. Just calm down--"

"But Cas--"

"Just _wait_...." Sam pressed. "Give it a few more minutes, then if Cas is not getting better we'll wake him up...."

"Tch...." This was impossible to ignore, they shouldn't allow themselves to keep this on. Castiel was hurting.... Feelings be damned, Dean cared enough to cease this experiment if it meant to stop the pain on the priest. "Fuck...."

"It's okay, Dean."

"He's _reliving_ the shit, you think that's okay....?" he gritted uncomfortably.

"No, I understand that, I do...." Sam frowned at that. Dean caught his tone and his stance weakened. Sam would give anything to erase his violent episodes while Castiel needed to know what was missing in his memories. "Once Castiel wakes up, he'll tell us what was going on. Don't you trust him on this?"

".... It should be the other way around," he sighed heavily. "He should trust me enough if it were to get worse. But.... he's practically crying over there, Sammy."

"I know that...."

"But--" A sharp terrified gasp emitted from Castiel, and it caught the brothers' attentions. "S-stop it....! Please, Father.... D-don't want this....!" the priest gasped out, the scent of sweat-induced fear clogging the air in the cabin.

"What the fuck....?!" gasped Dean, his glowing eyes widened. A second later, they saw the human convulsing upward, with himself subconsciously grabbing at his hair.

"STOP IT! DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING, PLEASE STOP....!"

That does it. Dean wrestled Sam's hold on him and jumped forward for the couch. "Cas!" he called out in a panic, moving to shake at his shoulders. "Castiel, _wake up_....!" he gritted, as Castiel gasped out. Suddenly the bright crystal-blue eyes popped open, and the priest reacted with a swipe at Dean's face. Dean took it, dull pain throbbed in his cheek before Sam soon assisted.

"Cas, we're here....! It's us, Sam and Dean!" he called. Castiel gasped for air, then coughed in a dry heave as the brothers sat him up. "Cas, it's okay, the nightmare's over...." Sam assured him. Castiel coughed without a chance to breathe, tear running non-stop before Dean looked into his eyes.

"Breathe, Cas, _breathe_...." he frowned. Castiel hiccuped but managed to breathe shaky breaths. The near sobbing sounds were bubbling out of his throat, before his hands grasped at the vampire's shirt. ".... It's all right.... It's all right, Cas..." he assured quietly, moving to hug him. Sam got up to fetch a glass of water, while his brother patted Castiel on back. "The nightmare's gone, okay....?" he murmured, resorting to rub soothing circles.

Castiel took in shaky breath. He also took in the warm musky scent of Dean, and he was slowly calming down. The tears soon ceased as he sniffled, the vampire's intoxicating smell was so good. It was almost as if it was having a pacifying effect on him. ".... D-Dean...." he gasped softly. "Dean.... Dean...."

"I'm right here, dude...." murmured Dean. He then moved his hand to his now unruly hair and petted through it. Even through the stuffy smell of fear was still coming from the priest, he could still scent the pure untainted on him as he breathed in.

_Protect...._

Dean narrowed his eyes, a brief thought ran across his mind. Protect....? Protect who....? Certainly he couldn't be thinking about.... He was quickly distracted when Sam came back with a glass of cold water. ".... Here, Cas...." the tall vampire offered. Castiel sat back and took, drinking it down quickly. But his teary eyes were blank, and the brothers stared with absolute concern. "Cas....? You don't have to tell us immediately--" muttered Sam.

"I was defiled...." he mumbled so quietly that their super hearing nearly missed it.

"Wh-what....?" gasped Dean, widened eyes on Castiel who glanced up. "What.... what did you say, Cas?" "I....." The priest's lips tightened before sniffled and shook his head. "My priest.... he gave me some kind of foul-tasting juice, and the next thing I knew.... I could barely move." He nearly winced when Dean's hand gripped tightly on his biceps.

"He roofied you.... A little kid...." he muttered through gritted teeth while Sam's jaw muscles tightened with disgust. Castiel looked at him again, and eventually nodded in understanding.

"I tried to escape.... But...." Castiel mumbled. "I remembered the part.... How I received the head trauma... I was slammed on the steps to the altar, and my skull was split open. That was when I was dragged back to his office...."

".... And what, Cas....? What did he do....?" Sam spoke up, his tone edged with worrisome but also with ire as he then exhaled. Castiel glanced at him then down at his lap, his breathing quickening but no fear was coming out like before.

".... He defiled me, he defiled in ways I...." he mumbled before biting his bottom lip. "It's.... it's so hard to explain it--"

"N-no, it's all okay, we get it now...." The anger in Sam deflated into empathy, as he patted him on his shoulder.

"I.... I don't know what exactly happened afterwards-- because you two woke me up," he muttered quietly. "But.... Between that and me laying in a coma in the other dream, something had to happen. I'm not sure what...."

"Well, we don't need to keep doing this anymore, Cas," reassured Sam. "We know more than enough for this.... I guess.... we could try to make plans for you going to Utah."

"I suppose so...." muttered Castiel before glancing up at Dean. He blinked in surprise, the older vampire hadn't said a word after mentioning the roofied juice. His face tight but without expressions, before he removed his hand. ".... Dean....?" he muttered. "Dean, what's wrong--" he asked as he reached for his hand, only to have his own get smacked away suddenly. "Ahh....!" he winced, mostly out of surprise than pain.

"Dean?" frowned Sam. But Dean stood up, stepping away from the priest.

"Dean--" said Castiel.

"Oh fuck.... Oh fuck," he rumbled grimly, shaking his head.

"Dean? What's wrong?" Sam questioned in confusion.

"I just.... I gotta go, Sammy...." he muttered and his brother narrowed his eyes at that.

"Wha-- why? Does it have to do with Cas' past--" Then he got it, the color instantly drained from his face. "Dean--"

"I just need to go, Sam.... I can't be near Cas," he scoffed miserably.

"But...."

"Dean....?" Castiel inquired, his wide eyes on Dean. "Dean, what are you talking about....? What do you mean, you cannot be near me?" He reached out to him again, and almost instantly Dean recoiled from him. The vampire glared at him, but it wasn't out of anger. "Dean, please, talk to me...."

"...." Dean wretched his face, to near disgust, before looking away.

"Dean....?" Castiel frowned with concern.

"Dean, calm down so we can talk about this," assured Sam.

"...." Dean just shook his head, before turning for the door.

"Dean....!" Sam called out as he reached for him. Before Castiel, it happened within a few seconds, because the next thing he knew Sam was thrown to the floor while the door was quickly opened. The priest was stunned, unable to move but somehow he knew.

Dean was gone.

A second later, Sam recovered and quickly got up. His glowing eyes fell on the opened door and he immediately ran out. His yells soon filled up the forest, but Castiel could hear it. But.... he got it now..... He understood why Dean ran off, because of what he had said. And because of that, he could feel his heart ache for him.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

read and review

I'll update ASAP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can understand, I didn't feel like going into detail with Cas' memories even though I have it in my head. Sorry


End file.
